"I do"

He says those words and instantly my heart breaks. All the foolish hopes and dreams I have had are permanently ended. From this moment there is no going back for him. And why should there be? He is finally wedded to his Evenstar, his love; this is what he has wished for since he was a young man, since before I knew him. Why would he want to turn away from her? What for? Me? As much as much as my heart and soul wish for the man to be mine, I know he would never chose me over his fair maiden.

3 nights ago

"Legolas, this...thing that has been between us, it must end here"

Inside I cried out, but I managed to keep my face blank as always

"So it is definite, you are going to wed Arwen?"

"Yes, of course I am, she is my beloved. I am sorry if you thought our...meetings...would change that" he paused "I do not feel for you the way I do her"

"Then why did you come to me all those nights?" I do not know why I had to ask that question, I already knew the answer and was hurt enough.

"I........I do not know. We had been on a stressful journey for a long time. You gave me comfort. I gave you comfort, I thought you understood what the situation was"

"Ha! I see, so I was just a body for you to find release in?" That was not what he meant and I knew it, but I was hurting so much inside and I wanted to make him feel guilty.

"No Legolas, you know what I mean, we were there for eachother, as good friends are, why are you getting so upset, you knew the arrangement"

"No Aragorn, I did not" I looked at him, and tried to show him what I felt beneath the unshed tears that threatened to spill at any second. His eyes met mine, and the realisation came over him. He looked away, an awkward silence hung in the air.

".........I am sorry Legolas...I"

"No" I cut him off "It is I who should apologise Aragorn, I should not have presumed I could...have the King of Gondor. Good night" I had to leave, get away from him, how could I have been so foolish?

"Legolas!" He called after me, as I knew he would, but I had to get some distance between us, and did not stop until I reached my rooms, where I cried out my pain into the empty bed, seeking solace in dreamworld where there was no suffering.

---

As the rings slide onto their fingers, I feel physically sick, even more so at the look of unbridled joy in his face. As the townspeople cheer and clap, he finally turns towards the crowd, laughing and searching the masses for close friends. The hobbits are at the front, tears streaming down their happy faces. Gimli and Gandalf are applauding with the rest of them. I should be there in the front row; my seat is reserved, but empty. As he looks at the gap his smile does not break, but with the sharp eyesight of my kin I see a surprised look come over him. Then the smile lessons and he looks slightly hurt. My heart tightens at the thought, could he regret his choice? Does he want me?

But then he turns back to his bride, and that amazing smile comes back as he laughs. No, he is not sad, he has no regrets, he is the happiest he has ever been. Though this fact should comfort me, my grief only deepens and I find a single salty tear run down my cheek and into my mouth. It is bitter, as is my resentment towards the lady who will forever hold his heart. He does not cast another glance at the spot where I should be, a final twist of the knife has already embedded in my soul.

As I turn and walk away down the hill, I look out at the water and hope it will wash away my pain. But even now I know that it will live forever in me, doomed to stay alive for eternity, always yearning for the man I never had.