My dear Sam. You sleep beside me, I can hear your breathing. Loud against the quiet of the night. Cold and dark are the nights where I find comfort. Nights are long and they slowly turn to day. I will not sleep and I remember little of what was. It is times like this where the ring gives me peace and a memory of a life I used to live. Perhaps it is tired, feels that it needs not control me for a short time, a time when I can do it no harm. Whatever the reason may be, I am thankful.

I wish not to hurt you dear, dear Sam. I did not want you to follow me and I hold to that, although I would not have had the strength that you provide me. I asked you not to come but you risked your life to be with me, perhaps this is why you are here for I would not have kept you with me otherwise. I know I would not have gotten as far as I am and to that I owe you. Perhaps it is you that keeps my will and hope from failing and giving in to the sweet seduction of the ring. When the ring calls my name in the dark of the night, it is you I turn to, to pull me back. I find the ring irresistible and yet it is a burden to bear, more than you know. I am glad you do not know the weight of which the ring has put on me for it would break your heart and I never want to you to feel the pain I must endure. I know that I hurt you Sam but you must understand the ring calls me and I must answer for fear that if I do not I will perish or worse.

Sometimes you understand me more than I realize or can possibly comprehend. I find comfort in that. The dark depths of the night are the worst, not always does the ring relieve me but it tries to break me and I know you see it day by day. I feel it now, for I cannot remember the Shire, it now only exists in your mind. I cannot feel the wind against my cheek or taste the sweetness of fruit. I only remember the ring. Ah yes, it's soft surface, shiny and bright. It promises me things Sam, it persuades me against my inner will. I fight hard against it but it always wins and when it does I find peace.

I love and both hate the ring, it's power is intoxicating and addictive but it hurts you my sweet Sam. I hate it, I hate it for hurting you. I can only find peace with the ring and you Sam. When I look at you the pain of it lessens if only for a moment. That moment keeps me rational, I know without you I would be lost in myself, twisting into the insanity of the ring. Sam, one day I may tell you this, before the end .The ring has never won yet, for I can never entirely give in to its power while you are by my side. I fear that the ring will send you away from me and I am scared by it. For you are all I have left, all hope of the Shire is gone, I cannot remember, it is not a place I hold dear. I do this for you. I hold on for you.

You have turned towards me, your breathing is slow and I listen to its rhythmic rise and fall. You are all I now know, and you are hurting Sam, for you know that my heart can never truly be yours, the ring is ever careful of that. I know that I cannot destroy it and as much as I wish, I never will be able to, it is too much a part of me. I only hope that when it comes to the end you will give me strength for I have none left, you know this and your heart is breaking. I hate myself but I survive only for you and the ring. However the ring will win my dear Sam, it will win and it knows this. It mocks me and breaks me slowly like a poison, gently infecting me. I know it shall take me soon, it is growing restless and it is erasing you from my memory. It will win and you know you cannot protect me from its power. You cannot save me. It will win.