Rain beat heavily down the side of the window in Erestor's room. It was Mid-April, and thus not uncommon. The younger elf, only a child, aside him yawned, and Erestor looked up from the book he held to stare into those prettily green eyes. One could get lost in those eyes, emerald leaves of the new spring, just as Erestor himself had done so many times.

Erestor stared at the pages unseeing. It was just so unfair that he could never have what-- or rather who-- he wanted. He would do anything at all for him and knew it must be love... But it was impossible. Why was it so entirely hard for him to accept that fact that it could never be? He would give his entire life to merely be allowed to give him everything he wanted. He would serve him each day for only an embrace and kiss that was meant with all his heart. He would have done anything. ANYTHING--

"Why did you stop? Erestor, what's wrong?"

"I..." he blinked rapidly to free his mind of the enchantment. "I was ... pondering whether I should stop after this chapter. It is late, and your father would not approve."

"Erestor ... you are tired. I could, perhaps, tuck you in and read to you instead?" Giving him no time to respond, and taking the book from his hands to lay it on the table, the half-elf's arms circled about his neck, embracing him. Erestor shivered slightly as one of his hands gave a feather-like crease to his neck, returning the ebony strains of hair that had escaped back to their hiding place behind a delicate ear. It is merely an embrace, Erestor assured himself. Only an embrace. It means nothing ... nothing at all.

Erestor's breath stopped as the beautiful, young elf released him and pushed him back into the bed softly. "There," he whispered. Erestor looked up uncertainly to those bright eyes. Perhaps it was not only an embrace... "Now, get some sleep," the youth said once more hugging him tightly. "I want you to feel better." Erestor's expression of wonder, and hope, fell to disappointment.

"Do not give me that look!" Elladan mockingly chided. "You need rest. Please, rest... If you do not, I will consider tying you to the bed. You didn't sleep until late last night, too... Good night." Elladan's words faded and Erestor's eyes grew dull as he fell asleep.

Elrohir, who never did like Erestor, much preferring Glorfindel, walked in to fetch his brother. Instead of doing anything he had intended, he sat down upon the couch. Oh, Marvelous, thought Erestor bitterly. "Elrohir," Elladan muttered, "would you get a cup of tea, please? Peppermint would ease his nerves, I think. You are okay with peppermint aren't you?"

"Yes, that is fine," Erestor mumbled.

"Good then," Elladan responded cheerfully. Erestor cared little to argue down the prince. He wouldn't win anyhow.

"Elladan... You've been with him all day. Why don't you get it while I visit with him a moment?"

"If you really want to."

Elrohir smirked nearing the bed, "Oh, I do." Elrohir watched his younger twin walk through the door and let it click back into place behind him before glancing down at the lord. "So, little Elladan insist you get a recommendable amount of sleep, does he not?"

"He does."

"Well, it most be hard ... what with your responsibilities..."

"I suppose one might say that."

"Or perhaps..." Elrohir glanced out the window to the rain before looking back to him. "Perhaps, it is quite hard to sleep when one spends their nights, those long, cold nights, moaning my brother's name as he releases himself into the fresh sheets of his linen; Linen that must be changed each morning Elladan is not sleeping with you. But ... that is merely a theory."

"I..." he turned to face the wall. "I do not know what you are talking about."

"Well, I'm sure I'm the only person, but you can always go to the Lord Elrond and tell him of your sin. I'm sure it would interest him. I can see you now, begging our father to spare your life." Elrohir's lips twisted in a mocking smile as he continued sardonically. " 'My lord,' you shall beg, 'I am in love with your youngest son. Each night I loose sleep as I touch myself with his name on my lips. I bring him to my room each night so he might lay with me, though, I am too afraid he may tell if I touch him. So, instead, I wait and wait while I seduce him. Seduce him with each word I say to have his warm mouth upon me. I seduce him to have him beneath me as I take him, screaming my name while he spills himself in the sheets.'

"You look at him hungrily, everlasting lust haunting you. Haunting your steps, your dreams, even your thoughts. You want him. You would ravish him now if you could! ADMIT IT! Sinner! Barbarian! Monster! Whore!" When he was given no response, Elrohir reached out slapping him across the face. Just as the hand came to meet his face and bring it down with brutal force, Erestor woke.

Erestor sat up and looked wildly across him room, gripping the sheets of the bed so tightly the skin on his knuckles whitened. "A dream... a dream... only a dream... Yes, it was only a dream..." Erestor muttered panting heavily, tension unable to leave him. "Only a dream..."

Erestor jumped to a knock on his door.

"Y-yes? Come in," Erestor said timidly, voice shaking.

Elladan entered hesitantly. "Can I... might I... Would you mind so much if I slept with you? I... had a bad dream..."

Erestor's heart broke hearing it. If the young elf's dreams were anything like his... "Yes, yes, Elladan." He lifted the covers so Elladan could slip in beside him. "Better?" he asked pulling the smaller elf closer.

"Yes, Erestor. Thank you," Elladan said, face buried into Erestor's chest.

"Goodnight, little one. Sleep well." Erestor looked down and kissed the black hair.

"Night, Erestor."

---

Elladan lay in Erestor's bed tracing patterns into the sheets with his finger, unable to sleep. When he had looked in Erestor's eyes, Elladan saw fear in them... Whatever could be wrong with Erestor? He was always so... calm... collected... fearless.

He turned to glance at the sleeping advisor. His expression seemed so hurt,so defenseless. His eyes were drowned in fear, and he was shivering though, it was not even cold. He was afraid, or hurt-- He had to have been. If only Elladan could comfort him-- But what said he couldn't? It couldn't possibly be... wrong, could it?

Elladan threw loving arms about him and kissed a cheek. Erestor woke almost immediately pulling away and gasping incoherent words of dismay. "I did not mean to frighten you," Elladan apologized. "But you seemed so upset."

Erestor let out a deep breath. He is concerned, Erestor. Only concerned.

"Erestor... Let me comfort you."

"You have comforted me simply being here. Do not trouble yourself, little one." Erestor gave a forced smile and tried to regain what little dignity he could manage. "I was only... I was tired and you startled me."

"Erestor," he spoke softly against the neck of the pale creature before him. "When I was small, and even now, you have always comforted me. You would hold me when there was a storm. You stayed up all night with me when I was sick. You comforted me when I had nightmares, too. Can I not return the favor?"

Erestor gave in, finally, relaxing into that warm embrace. Elladan waited until the elf felt safe in his arms snuggling against him. "Erestor, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to say it, but what has upset you?"

"I can't say. It is much too..." Erestor seemed to searched for the right word before finally continuing, "personal a matter."

"I tell you all my personal matters."

"Yes, but this is different, and it is just not that simple," Erestor bit on his lower lip. "My dream is not the easiest matter to discuss."

"Dream?" he asked curiously. Erestor cursed himself silently.

"Yes," Erestor finally admitted. "I have dreams of things being said to me that are so unjust, yet... somewhat true... in a small sort of way."

"That is much like the dream I had when I was smaller. Do you remember it? Elrohir was mad at me and he said all sorts of horrible things to father that even father, with his logical mind, believed."

Erestor trembled slightly at the thought of Elrohir telling the lord, Elrond. Elladan entrusted his secrets to him, why not he to Elladan? "Actually, Elladan, that was exactly what happened."

"You don't have to tell me what it was he said. I would not want to tell you." Elrohir clumsily kissed his cheek. "I wish I could call you father. You are just like a father. And my father is usually so busy..."

"But father is just... I...I" I know Elrohir is their favorite and they speak harshly to you for such small things. Yet, you think nothing of it, and I am glad that you do not. Yes, you deserve it. It is such a small thing to ask. You never ask for anything, and it would mean so much to you...

"Thank you for being here," Elladan looked up to meet his gaze, "father." Erestor stared in those pleading globes.

And at last he replied, "My little one, I am honored, but please, I beg you, please, do not call me that around anyone else."

"I will not, father." He smiled. "Perhaps you are not my father by birth, but still my father in so many ways."

Erestor stroked back the hair from his face. "May I ask what your dream was about?" Elladan's expression went from joy to horror. Erestor placed a gentle kiss upon his brow. "If you tell, it will not hurt as much."

Elladan pressed himself as close to Erestor as possible speaking as if his very words were a great evil. "There was a rider in black on a midnight horse. His eyes were hungry, but not for food. He looked at me as if I were an open feast, and, then, chanted words in a language I do not know. The words were ill and spoken with a sinful voice. He stared at me with a long look of... something. I do not know what to call it. It was not lust, and not love, but power, control."

"Lust is many things," Erestor spoke softly letting soothing creases run down the half-elf's now tear stained face. "Do not cry..." he hestited momentarily, "My son. Please, do not cry."

"Do not leave me! Never leave me all alone, forever."

"I am always here, in a way." Erestor traced the area of his night clothing around his heart, and rest a hand against it. "I am right here. Always."

"Were you ever afraid to be alone? I always want to be left alone, and, yet, I hate being alone. I fear the dark; I fear what darkness can bring."

"Is there not light in all darkness?"

"There is, but I cannot see it."

"But you feel it. Hope is in your heart as well. There is so much here--Strength, hope, love, pride. You have so much to offer. I only wish your parents would but see that, little one. As long as you want me to be your father, I shall be it. But for now, continue with your dream."

"It was night, and, yet, there seemed to be a shroud of darkness about it. The rider's horse gave a sharp cry before it galloped into the night seeming to blend in with it. In a few days, a strange plague began. Elves are not supposed to become sick, but death came to them. It happened so quickly I think all of Middle Earth perished. First, I found mother and father dead. Then, Elrohir and Glorfindel-- The dead were everywhere. They littered rooms, halls, the kitchens, outside, the stables-- Even the animals perished. The only one whose body I never saw was yours. I called and called and no one answered.

"There were voices. They called to me telling me that it was I who had brought this upon them. It was my sins for which they paid. Whispering, whispering-- do not make my tell you. They taunted me in names I would not even say." Elladan looked down to avoid Erestor's eyes when his face flushed. "He came back, the rider, and stripped me of my clothes, pushing me in front of the dead bodies to reveal my sin. Through pale lips they chanted of what I had done laughing... laughing." Elladan spoke as if he himself did not believe the words. "The rider's voice rose as he told the dead of all I wish to do to yo-- All my thoughts. Everything I have done and wished no one to ever know of at any point was spoken in jest. He spoke things that were never meant to be said aloud. And as he reached to touch me... there, I pulled away. The shadow became so furious it threw me on the ground. As he prepared to ravish me, I woke..."

Erestor placed comforting kisses on his brow and let him weep. "Do you feel better now?" he asked when Elladan had settled. Elladan nodded and yawned, resting his head against Erestor's chest. "Good night, my little one."

"Will you tell me a tale of some sort first, please? I do not wish to sleep with that on my mind."

"If you wish." Erestor's tranquilizing voice told of a legend in his rich voice that filled Elladan with wonder. Finally, when finished his voice lowered to a whisper as the world quieted. "So... in the end, it was what the prince did that proved his greatness. Not his birth. The problem with our world, in my eyes, is that we look upon parents and ancestors to decide if one is worthy such honor. We look upon the eldest and think they know so much because of the length of their lives. Sometimes, this is not true. A man from the family of the gods can deceive as easily as one born to murders and thieves. A child can sometimes know as much as an adult, maybe more, if he is wise early. You are such a child."

Elladan looked up to him sleepily. "You are much too kind to me."

"You deserve every bit of it."

"I love you, Erestor. Pleasant Dreams..." His eyes darkened as he fell asleep, seeming ever so vulnerably naive, upon Erestor's breast.

"My little one, sweet dreams. I love you as well... more than you'll ever know. If you need, or ever want anything, I am always here. If ever the night's shadows frighten you, or you feel alone, I will be here," he mumbled running fingers through delicate hair. "When words are not enough, and you simply wish to shed your silent tears, I, as I always have, will let you. I suppose I sound rather pathetic, but it is not easy to put what one feels in words." He sighed. "Good night... my love," he whispered kissing one of his delicate cheeks.

---

Elladan woke that night crying and screaming loud enough to wake the dead. Erestor held him, somehow managing to keep hold of him, though Elladan pounded his fist against the elf's chest. "LET ME GO!! LET ME GO!!" he pleaded desperately trying to pull away. "Please, let go of me... please...."

"Quiet, little one. There, see everything is fine. It is I, Erestor."

"Erestor..." he clung to his tutor's tunic sobbing."

Elrond walked calmly through the door. It wasn't an unusual sight for the lord, it happened every night. "Elladan? Erestor?"

"He had a bad dream, that is all. Everything is under control," Erestor informed him rubbing comfortingly at the youth's back.

"Elladan, come to your own bed. There is no reason to bother him every night." Elrond, getting no response, reached to take his son.

Elladan's grasp on Erestor became tighter and his sobs grew louder. "Elrond, he is in no condition to go back to his own room. He is frightened, and I beg you to just let him work his own way through it. I assure you, I will allow no harm to come to him."

Elrond sighed, overly annoyed with Erestor. "I suppose.... Good luck," he muttered bitterly. Erestor nodded and Elrond walked stubborn, but proudly, out the door.

It was hard to say where Elladan slept more, his bed or Erestor's. The nightmares had begun when he was twelve, the equivalent of six in mortal years. Rather than turn to Elrond, his mother, or even Elrohir, he came strait to Erestor. He never told all of any of his dreams. Erestor could tell from his expression he wanted, more than anything, to do just that, but instead, he told some of the less important details. Tonight had been an exception, however, when he told of the rider. The dream he had just woke from was probably similar.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Erestor asked still stroking the back of the half-elf that was pressed against him quivering. Elladan shook his head no, still sobbing.

"Tomorrow, little one, you can stay with me all the day. Perhaps that will cheer you up. Now, do you want me to tell you one of the stories you have loved so much?" Elladan nodded and ceased crying when he was pulled into bed aside Erestor.

"In the Ages of the Stars, many evil beast came to torment the peoples of Middle Earth. Head of such creatures were the Wolves and Werewolves of Melkor. In defense, the elves bred hunting hounds so they might destroy them. The greatest among them was Huan. Orome, Huntsman of the Valar, gave him to the prince Celegorm. Huan was ageless and never did he tire or sleep. Spells and sorcery could not slay or bewitch him. The Valarian wolf was both massive and immortal. Also, he--"

"He spoke and understood the language of elves and men." Elladan gave a slight smile.

Erestor laughed lightly. "Very good and he defeated..."

"Draugluin, who was chief of Sauron's servants, lord and sire of Werewolves. And um... Carcharoth, the guardian of the Gates of Angband. And he nearly defeated Sauron, too."

"Perfect," Erestor smiled softly kissing his forehead.

"Will you really spend the day with me?"

"And you can have anything you want tomorrow."

"Thank you, Erestor," he mumbled into Erestor's neck. "You are always so nice to me. I only wish there was some way to thank you."

"You thank me every day. Your embrace is better than any gift you could think of."

"You are very kind, Erestor."

"You are as well. Good night, little one."

"Night, Erestor," he whispered. Before either knew it, Elladan had caught his lips in a sudden kiss. How long it lasted, neither could say. At first, Erestor had tried to pull away, but Elladan's embrace tightened around his neck pulling him closer. Erestor, after moments of doubt, wrapped his own arms around Elladan and deepened the kiss. Both moaned softly into the other's mouth musically in unison.

"Erestor, I can not bare it anymore. I love you," Elladan panted into Erestor's mouth. "I love you more than anything."

"As I, my love, as I," Erestor whispered.

Elladan broke the kiss looking into his eyes when they finally opened. "Truly? You... You really do?"

"Always. It has haunted me so long in dreams and my thoughts-- oh, my love, let us not speak of such things." They kissed again, hungry for what they had so long been starved. Elladan lay upon Erestor, kissing him with built passion until they heard someone clear their throat rather loudly to get their attention. Starring up, they meet Elrohir's disapproving gaze.