Do unto others what has been done to you



I'm treading water,
I need to sleep a while.
My lamb and martyr, you look so precious.
Won't you come a bit closer,
close enough so I can smell you.
I need you to feel this,
I can't stand to burn too long.
Released in this sodomy.
For one sweet moment I am whole.
Do unto you now what has been done to me.
-- Tool – Prison sex


Elladan sat alone in the little cave he and Elrohir had shared; he looked at the flame from the candle and smiled sadly. alone He was all alone. He could not even feel his twin. Elladan sighed and somewhat regretted the harsh words he had spoken as Elrohir had chosen to leave. The elder twin frowned and ripped out a strand of his hair.

He cursed the day that wood elf had entered the borders of Imladris. He remembered it all too well, the young flaxen-haired elf that entered the courtyard, riding a white stallion and dressed in green, wearing the royal braids of Mirkwood.

Dinalu, the prince of Mirkwood -- he had been quite the vision Elladan remembered, but when he looked over at his brother to make fun of the sissy prince, he had not failed to see the expression in Elrohir's eyes. And he knew their time and feeble attempts of love had ended.

Elladan couldn't count the times when they had lain in their large four-poster bed, Elrohir whispering sweet endearing words in his ear, promises of eternal love if he, Elladan, would only give himself to his twin. Elladan had always refused, afraid that he would be left behind, just like their mother had left them, after she too had promised to love them forever.

But Elladan had never given himself to another lover either; he had settled for the clumsy touches and sweet kisses that had been exchanged between them in the dark of night.

But soon Elrohir did not come to their bed, and Elladan had been lying in the dark alone, speaking to himself, trying to lull himself to sleep. After a lifetime of a warm body against his, he would have to learn to live without. He tried to touch himself to hopefully bring himself to the same relaxation he had experienced with Elrohir's hand, but the fuzzy warm feeling didn't come. He had tried to drink wine before going to sleep to drown his thoughts, but he had just thrown up.

He had cried, by the Valar he had cried.

And then one day he had seen this place, he and Elrohir's secret place. This was where they had hidden from their parents and their tutors for millennia – it had been only theirs, their little secret. But now it was polluted, defiled. Elrohir had brought that elf there. He could smell it, and he could see it in the rearranged pillows and blankets.

Then the realisation hit him. He had lost his twin, and he was truly alone. It was not just them anymore; it was Elrohir and Dinalu. Elladan frowned. He gritted his teeth and plucked out another strand of hair. And the dinner... that cursed dinner where Elrohir had proclaimed he would travel to Mirkwood with Dinalu! He had seen Elrohir beam, and his father smile at the possibility of a bridge between Mirkwood and Rivendell.

Glorfindel had sensed Elladan's distress and had rubbed soothing circles on his back and smiled reassuringly. Elladan had smiled back, like the good son and heir that he was. He would not show his distress.

He had met Elrohir later and they had had a horrible fight. Elladan had screamed, begged and pleaded with Elrohir to stay, he had offered himself and his heart and whatever it took for his brother to stay. But Elrohir has declined, stating that it was just a trick for him to stay in Imladris, and that he had never thought Elladan to be so heartless as to refuse him his newfound happiness. When Elrohir began to ramble on about how fantastic Dinalu was, and what a magnificent soul there was beneath the surface of the otherwise enchanting elf, Elladan had left, not returning but hiding here in this cave behind the waterfall. Elrohir would have known how to find him, but he did not come.

When the night had fallen Elladan had returned only to find that Elrohir and his lover had left. His world had crumbled to pieces right there and then. Elladan had fallen apart. He had stormed into his father's study, shaking his father roughly and screaming at him, cursing him for letting Elrohir go. But Elrond had just tried to calm him, holding him tightly and stroking his hair – trying to tell him that they were not wee ones anymore, and Elrohir was entitled to his destiny whether it included Elladan or not.

And Elladan had realized he would not find help here; he would not find the comfort and understanding he thought he would have. And so he decided to take matters in his own hands. If he removed Dinalu the magnificent, then Elrohir would return, he would come back to him. But he was afraid that if he hired someone to do it, they would either tell his father or not do the job properly, or even worse hurt Elrohir. No, this was something he had to do himself. So he had told his father he had needed to ride to Lorien as he missed his grandparents dearly, when instead he had planned to go to Mirkwood.

Elladan sat in the dim lights and smiled. "You are clever, too clever for your own good sometimes, my friend," he whispered to himself.

---

Mirkwood

Dinalu had just finished his chores and returned to Elrohir, who was sitting in the grass with his little brother. He smiled. He knew that he would never produce an heir to the throne, but he was happy that his father had, even if his little brother Legolas was blissfully unaware that their mother had died in the same bed where she had given birth to him, and only a few hours later.

Elrohir was helping Legolas to make a little stick corral to keep his little stones he used as horses in place. And Legolas was chiding Elrohir for not making it properly; the animals would escape.

Dinalu chuckled. He couldn't remember ever being this happy, feeling this content. He walked over to the two on the grass and sat down. "Good afternoon, my precious ones," he said with a chuckle.

"Dina," Legolas cooed and hugged his elder brother.

"I see you have quite the farm there, little one," he chuckled.

Legolas beamed. "Yes, me and uncle Elrohir made it – pretty, huh?"

"Yes, very pretty," Dinalu answered and kissed Legolas' brow gently.

"Look little one, I came to steal your uncle Elrohir for a second," Dinalu said and smiled when Legolas frowned. "Be at peace, it will just be for a little while. You have played with him all day."

Legolas sighed dramatically and nodded. "If you must, but remember to ask Elrohir first," he said with a grin.

Elrohir laughed and ruffled Legolas' golden hair. "Dinalu is right, we have played all day, and I too need to speak with your brother for a minute."

"See?" Dinalu chuckled and put Legolas down on the ground with his toys again.

Elrohir and Dinalu stood up and the young half-elf wrapped his arm around Dinalu's waist. "I missed you," he whispered.

The blond chuckled and leaned his head against Elrohir's shoulder. "I missed you too, my heart," he whispered back. "But I actually have news for you."

"News?" Elrohir repeated as they walked back towards the royal talan. "Has something happened?"

"There is a letter for you, from your father," Dinalu said in a calm voice. "My father said to find you and bring you to him."

Elrohir felt panic bubble up inside him. Why did Thranduil want to see him in person? All this because of a letter from home? Something was wrong.

They walked to the king's study and Dinalu knocked on the door. "Father? I brought Elrohir as you requested," he said to the door.

"Excellent, come in, Elrohir," a voice came from inside of the room.

Elladan looked at Dinalu and blinked nervously. The Mirkwood prince smiled. "Don't worry my love, I am sure its nothing grave." Elrohir didn't look convinced and Dinalu continued, "I will stay right here, should you need me, OK?" he said. Elrohir nodded and gingerly kissed his lover, still a bit uncertain on how to act around the Mirkwood elves here, before he opened the door to Thranduil's study.

---

Elladan had been on the road for a long time, and he was tired, but he had at least reached Mirkwood. He dismounted from his horse, and moved silently into the woods, searching for his prey.

But what he saw when he reached the outskirts of the city was not Dinalu. It was a child.

There's no love in fear.
Staring down the hole again.
Hands are on my back again.
Survival is my only friend.
-- Tool – Pushit.


Elladan squatted down and looked at the elfling. He did not look like he would be a day over 30. He watched his every move as he came to the brink of the forest. The same golden hair, and those impossible blue eyes -- no doubt this wee one would capture many a heart when grown. He stayed still just watching until the young elf was close to him. "Hello there," he said softly and smiled.

"Hello," Legolas said and smiled at the stranger.

"What are you doing here all alone?" Elladan asked and tucked in a stray strand of the elfling's golden hair.

"Looking for more sticks so I can build a bigger corral," Legolas said and blinked innocently. "You look just like uncle Elrohir," he stated and pointed at Elladan.

"I do?" Elladan said with equal innocence. The large blue eyes studied him so trustingly and intensely that it almost drew tears to his eyes. And then he had an idea – he may have lost Elrohir, but this little elfling could heal his wound. He would not leave, he would feed it, nurse it, sing for it and love it – so he would never ever leave, and right then he forgot about his anger for Dinalu, and felt only fatherly love for this wee elf.

"What is your name?" Legolas asked and sat down opposite Elladan, holding tight to the few sticks he had found.

"Elladan," Elladan said and pricked Legolas on the nose, "and what is yours?"

Legolas blushed and looked away. "I am not supposed to tell strangers, and you are a stranger," he admitted.

Elladan tilted his head and smiled. "I am no stranger, I just told you my name, and I am a friend of your uncle Elrohir." The little golden haired elf looked up and smiled happily. "See? I am not a stranger," Elladan said softly.

"Legolas," Legolas said and beamed at Elladan. "My name is Legolas."

"Legolas and Elladan," Elladan said as if he tasted the sound of that phrase. "Well Legolas, do you want me to help you find more sticks for your corral, so you can impress your uncle Elrohir?" he asked innocently.

"Yes please," Legolas said and stood up.

Elladan stood up as well and walked further into the woods. "Come," he said and reached out his hand.

"Dina and my father told me I am not allowed further than this in the woods," Legolas said and crossed his arms stubbornly. "It is dangerous there, you know."

Elladan chuckled and unsheathed his scimitar. "You are safe with me."

Legolas' eyes widened at the sight. "Oooooooo, that is beautiful," he whispered in awe, and he looked up at Elladan. "Can I touch it?"

"Of course, little one," he said and rested the scimitar in his hands so Legolas' little hand could touch the steel – and after a while he smiled and sheathed it again. "Now come, let us find those sticks," he said.

They walked for a little while and Legolas chatted happily about anything that came to his mind. Until Elladan stopped and picked something up, turning towards the elfling. "Well Legolas, do you recon you have enough sticks now?"

Legolas nodded and smiled. "Yes, thank you Elladan."

Elladan closed his eyes momentarily and sighed. "I'm sorry," he whispered, and with a quick move hit Legolas over the head with a large log. The little elf fell backwards into the grass and flowers and hit the ground with a soft thump.

---

Elrohir stepped up to Thranduil's desk and smiled at the king. "Your majesty?"

"A letter have arrived from your father, as Dinalu may have told you," Thranduil said with a smile and handed Elrohir a parcel.

Elrohir took it and slowly opened it and started reading, and as he proceeded a large smile covered his face.

"Good news, I trust?" Thranduil said and folded his hands under his chin, watching Elrohir. He smiled inwardly at the young half-elf. He had called him here for another reason; he wanted to meet this elf that had captured his son's heart. He had met him, yes, but never talked to him one on one. His sons had always been there to occupy either Elrohir or himself. He could see why Dinalu had been so infatuated with this being; he was truly an amazing creature, his features tranquil and soft, and yet so... Thranduil searched for the correct word, yes, exotic.

Elrohir looked up at Thranduil and felt somewhat ill at ease under Thranduil's stare. "Yes your majesty, my father tells me my brother overcome his obstacles, and is now on his way to Lorien."

"That is good news indeed," Thranduil said and tilted his head. "Obstacles, you say? Was he upset with you?"

Elrohir nodded slowly. "He was extremely aggravated when I left to travel here with Dinalu, your majesty."

"Bothers are like that," Thranduil said in a soothing tone. "Should my sons ever be parted by as great a distance as you and your twin, I am sure they would feel alone and abandoned too." Thranduil stopped and smiled. "But that is of course pure speculation from my side, since I am a only child, and never knew what it was like to have siblings."

"My father sends word that Elladan is recuperating, your majesty." Elrohir said and rolled the parcel together again.

"Perhaps we shall have the joy of seeing him here some day soon," Thranduil said.

"I hope so, your majesty," Elrohir said with a smile.

"I am glad all is well. Should you write your father back, send him my best wishes," the king said and sat back in his chair.

"I will, your majesty," the young elf said in a chipper tone. He was glad to learn that the dreaded king of Mirkwood was this talkative and easy to smile at.

"Then you are dismissed, young prince Elrohir," Thranduil said with a gesture towards the door.

"Thank you, your majesty," Elrohir said as he stood up from his seat and quickly left the room.

---

Elrohir happily told Dinalu all about his meeting with Thranduil, and showed him the parcel. The golden-haired elf laughed. "What did you expect, that my father had fangs?"

"No, not fangs – but canines at least," he teased back and laughed at his own silly nervousness. He stifled his laughter as he noticed that Dinalu looked worried. "What is amiss, my love?" he asked, searching his lover's green eyes for an answer.

"Legolas," Dinalu said and made a fluid hand move towards the green where the little elf had been playing just a moment ago. "He was right here."

"He is a child, Dinalu," Elrohir said and rested against the other elf. "He probably just went in search of a sweetcake." But when Dinalu didn't seem to calm, Elrohir turned to make eye contact with his lover. "Listen my love, elflings never stay put, you should know that – at least Elladan and I never did, and I believe that caused more than one grey hair on our father."

Dinalu sighed. "I suppose you are right."

"He will show up at supper, I promise," Elrohir said with a smile.

Dinalu nodded and knew that Elrohir should be right, but something still felt wrong. He decided he would spend the rest of the late afternoon here in the gardens with his lover, and not give it another thought until supper. He would show that little rascal, he would show up.

Pink ribbon scars
that never forget
I tried so hard
to cleanse these regrets
my angel wings
were bruised and restrained
my belly stings

I wanted more
than life could ever grant me
Bored by the chore
of saving face
-- Smashing pumpkins - Today


The plains

Elladan picked up the unconscious elfling and carried him to his horse that stood on the outskirts of Mirkwood. He wrapped his cloak around the little body to keep him safe from the wind on the plains as he mounted his horse and got ready to ride home. "Mine, mine, all mine, mine to love," he chanted to himself as he spurred the horse and headed towards the bruinen. He knew exactly where he would go, to the cave behind the waterfall. In there little Legolas would be safe from harm.

---

Mirkwood

Elrohir sat down next to Dinalu in a secluded part of the royal gardens. He had to admit they were well maintained and pretty, not the standards he was used to at home, but still worth a second glance. The golden-haired elf smiled and his green eyes seemed to twinkle like gems in the setting sun. "I like it here," Elrohir whispered.

"It is one of my favourite spots," Dinalu admitted and took Elrohir's hand, guided it up to his lips and kissed the knuckles one by one. "And now it is extra special because you are here with me."

Elrohir kissed Dinalu's cheek. "I love you," he murmured.

The prince of Mirkwood turned his head and claimed his lover's lips in a long probing kiss, pulling the dark-haired elf to his lap, and when they broke the kiss he chuckled. "I hate you too."

Elrohir laughed and bit Dinalu's lip playfully. "I always knew you did, from the first time I laid eyes on you."

"I wasn't looking at you, I was looking at Glorfindel," Dinalu giggled, and yelped as he received a soft slap from Elrohir.

"I'd better change your mind then," he said softly.

"I should perhaps let you know I am stubborn," Dinalu said and grabbed Elrohir's waist, pulling him closer. "I am hard to negotiate with, even my father said so."

Elrohir laughed. "We will see about that," and moved slowly out of Dinalu's hold, and slipped down on the grass, resting between his lover's legs. With both his arms resting on the blond's knees he slowly started to unlace the knots in Dinalu's leggings.

"Ai, what are you doing?" Dinalu giggled.

"Negotiating," Elrohir answered innocently, as he slipped a hand inside the thin leather leggings, and pried out his lover's member.

Dinalu looked down at Elrohir, who started to kiss his upcoming erection. He grabbed the edge of the bench on which he was seated, and purred, "So is this how you negotiate in Imladris?"

The dark-haired elf laughed wolfishly and licked the tip of Dinalu's now rigid member. "Perhaps," he answered mysteriously and winked up at his lover before he grabbed he root of the erection and took it all in his mouth.

The blond spread his legs further apart so his lover had more room, and let his head fall back. He groaned in delight from the consuming wet cave that was driving him mad. Elrohir chuckled, and the vibrations went right into Dinalu's stomach, pooling in a great ball of desire, and when the prince of Rivendell sped up his ministrations, Dinalu felt himself swirl into a abyss of red warm heat, and before long he spent himself with a muffled moan, letting Elrohir clean up the warm semen with his tongue.

Elrohir moved up again and sat on Dinalu's lap, kissing his lover passionately. "So?" he whispered. "Did you look at me or at Glorfindel?"

"You, you my love," Dinalu gasped and opened his eyes slowly, and looked at Elrohir who grinned smugly.

"Well, that was all I wanted to hear," he said with a crooked smile.

---

The plains

Elladan rode the poor animal to the brink of exhaustion, before he knew he had to stop and hide. No one would take his newfound love from him. He smiled at Legolas who stirred under the dark blue cape. "Shhhhh," Elladan hushed as Legolas whined. "Soon we will rest." And with that he stopped the horse and slowly moved into a ring of stones in the middle of the plains.

"W-where am I?" Legolas stammered and looked up at Elladan with large frightened eyes.

"I don't know," Elladan said, and helped the elfling down from the horse. "You fell and hit your head, and I picked you up and tried to find my way back, but I think I got lost," he said with a smile. "I am terribly sorry."

Legolas just looked up at Elladan with the same frightened eyes. "They will come for us if we stay put, my father always said so," he said with conviction in his voice.

"Yes they will, we will stay here, and then they will find us in the morning," Elladan said and wrapped the elfling in his cape. "If you stay here, I will gather some firewood and hopefully find something to eat." He looked at Legolas with a serious expression. "I assume you are hungry, are you not?"

Legolas nodded. "Starving," he answered.

"Well then, I will leave the horse here with you, and I will be right back," he said softly and ruffled Legolas hair gently, before moving out of the stone circle and into the long shadows.

They would not find them; they would not know where to look, Elladan thought with a satisfied grin. "Sometimes you are too clever for your own good, my friend," he whispered to himself and turned to look back. The horse was still there, and he saw a little bundle that had to be Legolas. Good, he stayed put like a good little elfling, he thought, and turned to hunt.

---

Mirkwood

Dinalu looked at Thranduil, who looked at the empty chair beside him. "Where is Legolas? Has he not heard the supper bell?" Thranduil said.

Dinalu paled. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. "Could he have been delayed?" he asked, looking from Elrohir to his father.

"I suppose he could," Thranduil said, "for a little while, but now the supper is about to get cold."

"That's it!" Dinalu exclaimed. "Please send some servants to look for him, father."

Thranduil sighed and looked at his son and the Rivendell prince. "You are right, he could be playing in the pantry or something." Thranduil called a servant to him, and asked him to look for Legolas, and bring him back here. The servant bowed and hurried out of the dining hall. And then they all waited in silence, a terrible nervous silence.

The servant returned when the supper was cold as ice, but that didn't matter for they had all lost their appetites. "Well?" Thranduil said.

"We can't find him, your majesty," the servant said nervously.

And in that second Dinalu felt as if all the blood had been drained from him. "He's gone? That is not like him."

"Indeed not," Thranduil said and looked at his son, and even the king was as white as a sheet. "Call the guards, we must search the premises."

Dinalu stood up and nearly knocked the stool over. "Yes father," he said and ran out of the room as quickly as he could.

Elrohir sat back, feeling somewhat useless, and not sure what to do. This was a dire crisis but it was not really his family. Yet he had to do something. "Your majesty? Is there something I can do?" he asked quietly.

Thranduil looked at him. "Yes there is, Elrohir." The king stood up and took a deep breath. "Go to my private chambers and wait there, in case he should return."

Elrohir nodded, grateful that he had gotten a task, so he did not have to sit and do nothing. He left the king without a word and went to the king's private chambers, to wait for Legolas who would hopefully soon return.

Close your eyes and sleep
Don't wait up for me
Hush now don't you speak
To me

Wrapped my hurt in you
And took my shelter in that pain
The opiate of blame
Is your broken heart, your heart

I'm all by myself
As I've always felt
I'll betray myself
To anyone, lost, anyone but you

One last kiss from me...yeah
One last kiss good night
Didn't want to lose you once again
Didn't want to be your friend
--Smashing pumpkins - Soma


Legolas had waited for Elladan to return, and was immensely happy when he finally did. Elladan smiled at the child's happy expression. "Sorry it took me so long," he said, and sat down next to him. He studied the little elf.

"'Tis all right, I had the horse to keep me company," Legolas said and pointed towards the animal.

"Fafner is a good companion," Elladan said and sat down next to the elfling. "And a loyal steed."

"He is a pretty horse," Legolas stated and looked longingly at the cold fireplace. "I am hungry, uncle Elladan."

"And food you shall have," Elladan chuckled. "I think we can risk a little fire to prepare this rabbit," he lied. In reality he did not want to risk alerting the search party, which doubtless was out looking for this child. But the pretty little one was his now, only his. And he needed to take care of him.

Once he had the fire going a little he began to prepare the rabbit. He hated to skin these little animals, but out here he had no choice. He did not want his new little friend to starve, and so he turned to look at Legolas, who was mesmerized by the flames. "You like rabbit?" he asked sweetly, as he threw bits of rabbit meat on a flat stone in the middle of the fire.

"I think so," Legolas said and blinked, looking confused. "I can't remember if I ever tasted it."

Elladan smiled and sat back against the rock where Legolas sat as well. "Soon, my friend, you will."

"Elladan?" Legolas asked and looked up at his uncle Elrohir's spitting image. "Do you think they will find us?"

"Perhaps," Elladan yawned and wrapped an arm protectively around his little protégé. "Perhaps."

Legolas leaned against Elladan and rubbed his eyes. "I miss my father," he whined.

"And I am sure he misses such a sweet child as you," Elladan answered and gently rubbed Legolas' shoulder in a soothing motion, smiling as Legolas yawned once more and rubbed his eyes.

Once the child had fallen asleep he leaned back watching the flames. His thoughts drifted to Elrohir, wondering what he might be doing, did he miss him? No, Elrohir had forgotten what they shared, he had chosen to ignore the bond, he had!

Legolas whimpered in his sleep, and Elladan started to stroke the child's hair gently and soothingly, and to Elladan's own surprise the elfling seemed to relax again. How many times had he not held Elrohir like that? Elladan blinked and felt a tear run down his cheek; he had promised himself he would not to cry anymore, and yet the tears seem to have no end. It was over; Elrohir had made his choice to take away their bond. He would rather share this secrecy and intimacy with the damned prince of Mirkwood.

For a moment Elladan almost felt his brother's hand on his hair, and he closed his eyes savouring the feeling. Would he ever stop missing him? Ever kill the yearning? He opened his eyes and looked at the sleeping child. Yes, this child would fill it for him. With a clear voice he began to sing, telling himself it was to sooth the elfling, when it in fact was more to soothe himself.

Look at my pretty new doll
It can close its eyes
Father bought it
I have given it name
Mother made its clothing

The song stopped and he just sat there humming to himself, suddenly feeling much more happy and content. Yes, this elfling was all he needed to heal his world once more.

---

Mirkwood

Elrohir sat in the royal chambers and waited. He had not even noticed he had dozed until when the door's squeaking woke him. "Legolas?" he mumbled rubbing his eyes.

"No," Dinalu answered in a tired voice.

"Oh, it is you, my love. Did you find Legolas?" Elrohir said and blinked to get the last grains of sleep out of his eyes. He looked up and saw that dawn was upon them, and then he looked at Dinalu. "You didn't find him?" he whispered.

"No," Dinalu said and shook his head slowly. "It is like he disappeared from the face of Arda."

Elrohir stood up from his chair and paled at Dinalu's weary expression. "But that is terrible, my love. We must do something!" he exclaimed.

"Yes, I agree," Dinalu said and smiled an odd smile, "but what can we do? We do not know of his fate yet, he could have tumbled into one of the deep lakes, or been eaten by some foul creature or..." Elrohir stopped Dinalu's terrible line of thoughts with a hand to his mouth.

"No, my love, I am sure where ever he is, he is fine."

"I hope so," Dinalu whispered, "no I pray so, for if we do not find him soon I am afraid of my father's reaction."

"He will punish you?" Elrohir said with a worried face.

"No, no my love," the Mirkwood prince said and smiled at his lover. "I am afraid he will fade should we fail to find Legolas."

"Oh," Elrohir and looked at the floor, feeling guilty. He had assumed that Thranduil would give in to anger before he would grieve the loss of his son.

"Don't be ashamed, you do not know my father like I do, Elrohir my heart," Dinalu said and caressed Elrohir's cheek gently.

The half-elf looked up again at the impossibly beautiful face of the blond elf. "You look like you need sleep, Dinalu, go and sleep for some hours. I will go and join the others in the search."

"Thank you," Dinalu said and smiled. He did not want to sleep but he had to admit he was weary, his body screamed for rest, and so did his mind, he just wondered if sleep would ever find him anyway.

Elrohir kissed his beloved lightly and hurried out the door. He was determined to do his best, and he too was worried that something terrible had happened to little Legolas.

---

The plains

The sun came up over the horizon and Legolas stirred once more before he opened his eyes and found Elladan asleep. He smiled. His uncle Elladan looked so sweet in his sleep, but he really needed to see if he perhaps could recognize a path or something, any kind of indicator to where he was. Dinalu had taken him horseback riding at the outskirts of Mirkwood showing him the large roads that led to other realms.

He slowly moved and stood up yawning, before he walked out of the stone circle they had been sleeping in. The horse came and greeted him; apparently just happy someone else was awake and ready to keep him company. The little elf patted the horse, and whispered a good morning to the animal.

He started to look around to find a path, moving further and further away from the stones. He recognized nothing, and his initial hope disappeared. He had to put his faith into Elladan finding his way back to Mirkwood. But how was that possible? When Elladan himself had said he had no idea where they were. Legolas felt the despair rise, and tears formed before clinging to his lashes. "Papa, where are you?" he whispered.

It was not his father who answered his little prayer. It was the horse that whinnied, waking its owner. Legolas saw Elladan stand up behind the stones, looking around after him. He looked furious. No, not furious... more like insane.

And why he ran away Legolas didn't know. But he did, he ran as far as he could from the stones, the horse and Elladan. He heard Elladan yell behind him but paid no heed to the words.

You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now
This thing is slowly taking me apart
Grey would be the colour if I had a heart
Come on tell me

You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have

In this place it seems like such a shame
Though it all looks different now,
I know it's still the same
Everywhere I look you're all I see
Just a fading fucking reminder of whom I used to be
--Nine inch Nails – Something I can never have


The plains

"Legolas, don't!" Elladan yelled and ran after the elfling over the open plains, not caring if he was caught. Right now all that was in his mind was that Legolas was running from him. What had he done? He had not wanted to frighten the little elf. He kept pleading while he ran, getting closer to Legolas by the minute.

When Legolas dared a look over his shoulder, he saw Elladan come closer. He gasped and tried to increase his speed, but even though he was an elf, he was only a little one, and his stamina was gone long before Elladan's. Within seconds he felt a strong hand grip his shoulder hard, throwing him to the ground. "Now see what you did, you little brat!" Elladan yelled as a he shook the little elf hard.

"Pl-please, I.. I.. didn't me-mean," Legolas stuttered as he was shaken.

"Save your stupid excuses for someone who cares," Elladan hissed and stopped the shaking, just holding Legolas in a painfully hard grip. "You could have been spotted; you put us both in great danger, you little fool. Why don't you use that pretty little head of yours to think?"

"But.." Legolas protested, "Who should want to harm us?"

Elladan's mouth became a thin line as he spoke "Orcs, you stupid twat, that is why your brother and father are not coming here. They are afraid, Legolas... afraid, and they will never come for you, do you realise that?"

"Yes they will!" Legolas suddenly yelled, forgetting that he was afraid too. "Dina is afraid of no orc!"

"Then why is he not here, yet I am?" Elladan said with a harsh voice. "I am the only thing keeping you alive here, child, do not forget that!"

"You lie!" Legolas screamed. "He will come, he will find us!"

Smack The sound echoed as Elladan slapped Legolas across the face, and upon seeing the surprised facial expression on the little elf, he struck again. "Silence, silence, silence!" he kept yelling, striking the elf again and again.

When he suddenly stopped, looking at the frightened elf who was trembling and whimpering. He stopped just as abruptly as he had exploded. "By the Valar!" he gasped looking at the battered elfling. "What have I done? Oh no, what have I done?" he whispered, gathering the elfling in his arms, feeling tears stream down his cheeks. "I didn't mean this, please Legolas forgive me, I didn't mean to."

He sat rocking Legolas back ad forth, humming and crying and after some time he stopped and looked down at Legolas who now looked calmer. Elladan wiped his tears away with his sleeve and caressed the little elf's cheek. "Please little one, please forgive me," he whispered, but Legolas just looked at him with his large blue eyes. "I can show you how sorry I am," Elladan said and hit himself hard in the face. Legolas yelped with a pathetic sound and shook his head wildly. "Oh no, that was wrong too," Elladan whined and hugged the little elf again. "I can't do anything right," he whispered, "that is why Elrohir left me, I am all wrong, all wrong." The wee elf shook his head and attempted a smile. "Yes I am all stupid and wrong," Elladan said and stood up slowly, still holding Legolas.

The little elf pointed at the horse that walked towards them, and Elladan nodded. "Yes, we are going home, Legolas. Home, my precious little doll!"

---

Mirkwood

Elrohir came back at dusk, looking even paler than Dinalu had looked earlier. Unlike Elrohir, Dinalu almost flew out the chair and looked hopefully at Elrohir, but as Elrohir shook his head, he slumped and sighed. "Nothing at all?" he whispered.

"Nay," Elrohir whispered back and wrapped his arms around his lover.

"I was afraid so." The Mirkwood prince rested his head on Elrohir's shoulder. "And the rest of the search party?"

"Gone home," Elrohir answered. "Home to rest and see their families."

Dinalu sighed. "I don't understand, he was right there playing, and then he was gone." The blond closed his eyes and recalled the image of Legolas and his little rocks on the grass. "do you think..."

"Think what?" Elrohir whispered back and kissed Dinalu's golden hair.

"Perhaps a bear..." Dinalu said in a small voice.

"No," Elrohir said. "They do not come this close to civilization. This would mean that Legolas would have had to have travelled deep into the forest."

"He would not have done so alone," Dinalu answered.

"I don't think so either," Elrohir said and let go of his lover. "Come, you need to have something to eat my love, then we can take the horses and look further if you wish."

Dinalu shook his head, much to Elrohir's surprise. "No, I want to see my father first."

"He is in the healer's talan," Elrohir stated. "He is not well, Dinalu."

"Then all the more reason to go see him," the prince said and crossed his arms over his chest. "I will go see him, and then we will search more."

"No, you eat, Dinalu, before we search you must eat," Elrohir said and held a hand out towards his lover. "What good would you be if you dropped off your horse from fatigue and lack of nourishment?"

"Alright," the Mirkwood prince almost sneered, "but if I must eat, you must sleep."

"Point taken," Elrohir said dryly and turned to leave.

Dinalu paled. "Elrohir?" he said with a softer tone. "I'm sorry."

The Rivendell elf turned and smiled at the blond. "'Tis alright, you are just worried about Legolas and your father, and I am worn to the bone too."

Dinalu smiled. "This is why I love you."

"Because I am tired? Or because I am stubborn?" Elrohir said with a grin.

"No silly, because we think so much alike, my love." Dinalu laughed and walked over to his lover and wrapped an arm around his as they walked out the door together.

---

The plains

Elladan was moving towards Rivendell, and was increasingly worried, as Legolas had not uttered a word to him. He found himself missing the silly questions, yes even the whining. If Legolas did not begin to speak soon, he would have to look through some of the books of medicine his father had, to see if he could somehow make a potion that would cure the elfling.

Though nothing, will keep us together
we could steal time, just for one day
we can be Heroes, forever and ever
what d'you say?

I, I wish you could swim
Like the dolphins, like dolphins can swim
Though nothing, nothing will keep us together
We can beat them, for ever and ever
Oh we can be Heroes, just for one day

I, I will be king
And you, you will be queen
Though nothing will drive them away
We can be Heroes, just for one day
We can be us, just for one day
-- David Bowie – Heroes


AN: This chapter takes place 2 months after chapter 5.


Rivendell

Elladan had made both Legolas and himself comfortable in the cave behind the waterfall. He had made Legolas a fantastic bed with a ceiling of purple velvet, and was now carving out little wooden stars to hang from the sides. He looked over at the elfling who sat on the floor, looking at the toys spread before him. The smile was the only thing that showed his gratitude. "Do you like it?" Elladan asked, and Legolas nodded eagerly and held up a worn rabbit teddy. "This used to be my faithful companion," Elladan laughed. "Elrohir had a squirrel." He smiled sadly at the memory and then returned to his carving.

After a few minutes he looked over at Legolas again. The little elf was playing some game with the stuffed animals, and wooden horses were squealing strangely as he got more into the game. Elladan smiled at the happy sound, but his heart ached. He had taken some medical books from his father's study, and had looked them over for the disease he was convinced had stricken the wee elf. But none of the books had offered a solution; this was simply not a known condition to the elves. Elladan shook his head. Something must have happened, for Legolas had not said a word since the day at the rocks. He had stopped trying to run away, and that was always a good thing. But on the other hand, he had not done anything else.

Elladan stood up and fastened the wooden star to the bedpost. "There, my little rabbit, what do you think?" he asked. Legolas looked up and clapped eagerly, apparently loving what he had crafted. "I will take that as a yes," he said with a chuckle and sat down next to Legolas. "I need to go and fetch us some food, and new clothes for you." He knew where the clothes he and Elrohir had worn as children were packed away, and he was going to bring some for Legolas. "Will you be alright here?" Elladan said and ran a hand over Legolas' hair. "We need a brush and some clasps too," he mumbled as a mental note to himself.

Legolas nodded and leaned against Elladan, yawning. "You tired, little rabbit?" Elladan said and wrapped an arm around the elfling, starting to sing a hymn to the blue sea, painting pictures inside the little half-awake elf and making him smile. And Elladan vowed to himself he would bring back books depicting the sea and its animals for Legolas when he was putting back the books in his father's study.

---

Mirkwood

Elrohir snuggled down in the cold sheets and waited for Dinalu. He had not seen his beloved all day, and was worried that he was angry. They had had a fight in the morning, for Dinalu had wanted to postpone their official binding ceremony, due to the entire realm grieving for the lost prince. A part of Elrohir understood this clearly, but another part of him wanted to have the ceremony now. He felt as if Dinalu were slipping from him and into a dark place where his love would not reach him, no matter how he tried. A bonding would ensure Dinalu's mental state, for he would be sustained on Elrohir's light and love. Elrohir sighed and grabbed Dinalu's pillow, hugging it as if it were its owner himself. The pillow smelled of Dinalu, that pine-like scent that was his love's personal and unique scent. And so Elladan drifted off to sleep, the pillow wrapped tightly in his arms.

---

Dinalu stood in the gardens and looked at the large memorial stone he and Thranduil had raised for Legolas. It was clear to see that it was the people of Mirkwood as well and not just the royal family who were grieving. Elves had planted little trees and flowers at the stone's foot, making one round chaotic garden around it. This somewhat warmed Dinalu's heart, knowing that he was not the only one who felt empty; his people felt it with him. And his father was a different story... he had fallen sick, and had been under constant surveillance by the healers ever since Legolas had been officially claimed dead.

At first every elf able to walk and wield a weapon had been looking for him in the woods, but as days passed, fewer and fewer elves had participated in the daily search, and 2 days ago Thranduil himself had called off the search. Dinalu had protested hotly, but his father had just silenced him with a tired wave of his hand. And then he had said the words that Dinalu had not forgotten since, and probably never would he is dead my son, dead Dinalu had felt his heart burst into a thousand pieces and had heard a strangled noise and only faintly recognized it as his own.

He remembered only bits and pieces of the ceremony that had taken place as they had raised this monument. He had never in his life attended anything like this. Elves didn't die, they got tired and worn at times, and they travelled west, just like his mother. She had travelled west when the call of the sea had been stronger than her bonds to middle earth. They all understood this, and she had died in some way, yes. She had withered away after giving birth to Legolas. The healers had not been able to stop her bleeding, and she had told them not to try. And so when she had seen her baby she had requested to be transported to the grey havens. If she had survived the trip none of them knew, but Dinalu had always had this unspoken fear that she had not.

And now Elrohir, in his foul mood he had managed to push away his beloved Elrohir too. Dinalu angrily wiped away a tear in his sleeve. But why would Elrohir not understand that it was impossible for him to have a bonding ceremony right now? Legolas was gone, and his father was weak and grieving. Elrohir had stated that this was just what they all needed, a happy event of some kind. But Dinalu could not see the logic. No one felt like rejoicing, and he wanted his day of bonding to be a joyful and happy one.

He turned away from the stone and walked slowly back to his talan, slowly opening the door, knowing what vision would meet him. Elrohir was sleeping with a slight frown, pale and naked, looking awfully fragile against the red linen on the bed.

Dinalu silently discarded his own clothing and lay down behind Elrohir, wrapping his arms around him. "I love you," he whispered as he snuggled closer to feel the body heat radiating off Elrohir in soft waves.

"I love you too," Elrohir mumbled and moved closer to Dinalu. "I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier."

"Don't worry my love, we will speak of this in the morning," Dinalu whispered and kissed Elrohir's neck gently.

"Dinalu?" Elrohir whispered.

"Yes, my love?" Dinalu answered with a sleep slurred voice.

"Are you sure? Do you still love me?" Elrohir asked, feeling somewhat stupid asking something like that, but he really needed to know.

"Of course I do, you silly elf," Dinalu chuckled weakly. "I am just in a strange mood these days, you must understand why."

"I do," Elrohir whispered back.

"Now sleep, my treasure," Dinalu said and purred.

Elrohir obediently closed his eyes, wishing he could warm Dinalu's cold skin, but he knew no way to chase away grieving. He had sent a letter to his father, asking for his advice or company. He could come here and help him save these elves from fading from grief; Erestor and Glorfindel could look after Elladan and Arwen in Rivendell.

Elladan! Elrohir's heart missed a beat. How he missed him, missed his whispering in the dark until the first light, missed his intimate butterfly light touches, touches and words that were only used between them as a secret language. A caress to one's own ear had meant that they were sad and needed comfort. Slowly he reached a hand up to his ear and began to nuzzle it. "I'm sad, Elladan, I need you here," he whispered to the night, wishing his words would be carried off with the soft night breeze.

You wear guilt
Like shackles on your feet
Like a halo in reverse
I can feel
The discomfort in your seat
And in your head it's worse

And when our worlds they fall apart
When the walls come tumbling in
Though we may deserve it
It will be worth it

Bring your chains
Your lips of tragedy
And fall into my arms
-- Depeche mode - Halo


Mirkwood

Dinalu woke first, and smiled at the sight that met him. Elrohir had cuddled up to him during the night, so much that they were both about to tumble out of the bed. The half-elf was sleeping and Dinalu turned his head and gave his husband-to-be a quick kiss on his dark hair. Elrohir purred in his sleep and fastened his grip on Dinalu, almost as if he were afraid he would disappear.

Dinalu thought back on when they had first met, and felt his heartbeat quicken with love. To think he had gotten that wonderful creature he had seen back then! When he had first entered the courtyard he had seen him, and he had never understood why no one had been able to tell the Imladris twins apart, for he had done so from the first second he had laid eyes on them. Elrohir had smiled timidly and had shown from within with the same eternal white glow as his grandmother, the Lady of the woods. And Elladan had just felt.... felt wrong, twisted and dark. But when he had looked into the elder twin's eyes he had seen a kindness and an innocence that he had not thought there.

But Elrohir was different; he had fallen in love right there on the spot. He needed to bathe in that soft light, hear those lips spill words of love only for him. And he saw the amazement he felt right then shine back at him when he looked at Elrohir, it was like looking at the face of love. If there had been such a thing as a destined soul mate, he knew this had to be him. He was looking upon the other half of his soul.

Dinalu was shaken out of his musings by Elrohir, who kissed his ear gently. "What are you thinking?" Elrohir whispered. "It looked pleasant."

"It was," Dinalu whispered back with a smug grin.

"Good," Elrohir said softly and kissed his way down to Dinalu's mouth and placed a warm kiss there.

"I was thinking of you," Dinalu said and turned his head to look at Elrohir.

"I'm glad I'm a pleasant thought," Elrohir answered, more irritated than necessary.

"Always, my little star." Dinalu chuckled at Elrohir's irritation; perhaps he had been right, perhaps what they all needed now was some love and laughter, to chase those dark shadows away. But it just felt so wrong, and it was so hard to explain. Dinalu had seen the hurt in Elrohir's eyes when he had told him that they needed to postpone the ceremony.

"Dina?" Elrohir said and smiled nervously.

"Yes, my love?" Dinalu answered and snuggled closer to his beloved.

"Do you still desire me?"

The fair-haired prince had to stifle a chuckle. "But of course I do, beloved," he said and kissed Elrohir's cheek. "Why do you ask such silly questions?"

"I just thought... that.... that," Elrohir's voice dropped to a whisper and he sighed. "Forget it," he said.

"No, no," Dinalu said and popped up on an elbow. "What is wrong? Do you really think I don't desire you? Or is there something else amiss?"

"I... I" Elrohir whispered and flopped onto his back and pulled the covers up to his cheek. "I just remember how our mornings once were," he said and felt stupid for admitting just how much he missed having the other elf close, really close.

"I remember too," Dinalu said and leaned in to kiss Elrohir's brow gently.

"Stop it," Elrohir hissed and batted Dinalu away. "Don't mock me."

Dinalu moved back quickly with a shocked expression. "I was not mocking you, I was kissing you!"

"Same thing," Elrohir said venomously and looked at Dinalu, and right then he felt the same never-ending darkness as he had felt with Elladan. "You kiss me as if I were your family, and I am not. I am your lover, your mate."

"Forgive me," Dinalu said and lay down next to Elrohir. "I had a hard time allowing myself to be joyful and merry, let alone to feel love. Since Legolas disappeared, or died, or which of these wild stories I should believe, I have never intended to hurt you in the process of my grieving."

"I know," Elrohir said and sat up in the bed, his hair wildly disarranged and tears hanging in his lashes, "but... I miss you."

"I am right here, my love," Dinalu said and reached out for Elrohir, who to his surprise moved away

"No you are not, your body is just there to tempt me, and remind me of that it is left cold by my touch, and your mind... your thoughts are far away, locked in a secret place where I cannot reach you," Elrohir said and finally felt the tears flow down his cheeks. "And all I want is to have you here with me."

Dinalu sighed. "I need time, please Elrohir, please understand. It is not that I don't love you or desire you, I do... I just need time to grieve."

"Then love me," Elrohir almost screamed. "I could help you, help you mend your heart and loss, but you won't let me!"

"But I do love you," Dinalu whispered and lowered his gaze, "and I wish I knew how to mend my grief, and how to let you in."

Elrohir turned his head and looked at the fair-haired prince. "Remember that day by the lake? Where we made love? I want to feel like that forever, and I haven't felt so in a long time!"

"Felt what? Ants up your arse?" Dinalu said and giggled.

"No, you idiot," Elrohir said but couldn't help but giggle himself.

Dinalu looked up and reached for Elrohir once more, and this time he welcomed the touch. "I know what you mean my love, and it will be so again. All I need is some time; please grant me that and do not shy away. It is now that I need you the most, my love."

"Forgive me," Elrohir whispered and leaned against Dinalu. "I never meant to argue, I have just been so... lonely."

"There is no need for either of us to be lonely my love, we are both right here right now," Dinalu answered and kissed Elrohir's shoulder.

---

Rivendell

Elladan had returned to the cave with clean clothes and food. He sat there and watched Legolas eat his breakfast quickly. He stood up and tried to decide which clothes he should choose for his little one, and picked a blue tunic with matching leggings. "Here," he said and laid the clothes on the bed. "Put this on when you finish eating." Legolas looked up and smiled sadly, and to Elladan's surprise he rubbed his ear and blinked. "Sad?" Elladan whispered in amazement.

Legolas nodded and continued to rub his ear until Elladan came and picked the wee elf up. "There is no need to be sad, my sweet little rabbit," he whispered and sat down with the child in his lap. "Come, let me comb your hair and sing to you, perhaps that will chase away your sadness."

Legolas smiled a brighter smile and nodded and even more to Elladan's surprise the wee elf touched his nose lightly, just as he and Elrohir had done. This was their secret sign language they had shared for millennia; where had Legolas picked that up? Had he gestured it without knowing, and then the little elf had just picked it up? I had to be so. "You would like me to do that huh?" he whispered, and Legolas nodded again smiling, and made himself comfortable in Elladan's lap. Elladan touched his nose tip and smiled. "Yes, I would like that too." And so he began to sing.

Like a ghost don't need a key
Your best friend I've come to be
Please don't think of getting up for me
You don't even need to speak
When I've been here for just one day
You'll already miss me if I go away
So close the blinds and shut the door
You won't need other friends anymore

Oh don't leave home, oh don't leave home

If you're cold I'll keep you warm
If you're low just hold on
Cause I will be your safety
Oh don't leave home

And I arrived when you were weak
I'll make you weaker, like a child
Now all your love you give to me

When your heart is all I need
-- Dido – don't leave home


Mirkwood

Elrohir was watching his husband sword-train the young elves on the training grounds. He smiled to himself; he had seen the lustful stares Dinalu got from the other soldiers, but he was his and his alone, Elrohir knew this, felt their bond. He knew their love was strong and good. Even his father Elrond had come to their bonding ceremony. Elrohir had not thought his father would come, for when he had first left with Dinalu, Elrond had not seemed approving, but all his worries had been proved wrong. Elrond had worried as a father was bound to worry about his son's happiness, and after he'd had a few too many glasses of the red wine, he had admitted that one of the reasons for his worry had been Elladan. He had not seemed to take the parting well, and apparently he had torn up the loft going through their old clothes and toys.

The bonding had been just what Elrohir had thought: a life saver for Dinalu and a way for him to share his beloved's grief and give it all back with love. And even though Dinalu and Thranduil had grieved for almost 60 years over Legolas, finally there was laughter and joy upon their lips once more.

"Elrohir!"

The Rivendell prince was torn from his musings and looked up at the dirty, smiling and laughing elf that walked towards him. "Dina," he said with a grin, "you look like you just wrestled a mortal army." As he came to stand in front of him, Elrohir wrinkled his nose in disgust. "And you sure smell like it, too!"

"Most charming," Dinalu chuckled. "I missed you, too."

"Come, let us get you into a bath, my love. We are expected at dinner this night," Elrohir said and started to walk back to their talan. "Glorfindel is here, in case you forgot."

Dinalu fell into step next to his husband. "Oh no, I haven't forgotten, I even believe I will have a nice bruise on my leg in the morning because of him."

Elrohir turned around and looked at Dinalu in surprise. "He hurt you?" he gasped.

"No, no," the blond elf laughed. "We sparred, and I lost."

"Still..." Elrohir said with a small voice, as he shook his head. He would never even begin to understand why it was fun to hit each other over the heads with wooden swords. In war it was different, he himself knew how to wield a sword, but he would only do so if he had no other choice, not for having something to do with his spare time. He could come up with other kinds of fun things.

"Don't pout so, my love," Dinalu chuckled. "I promise I will look perfectly fit when we are to be at the great hall."

"So does an orc in disguise," Elladan smiled and slapped Dinalu on the shoulder.

---

Rivendell

Legolas was bored. He looked at the rings the little stones made in the little part of the river that was calm behind the waterfall. He sighed and threw in another stone and counted the rings again. Only 4. He had done better before. In irritation he threw in all the little pebbles he had in his hand.

Elladan had not been home in 3 days, for he was on his way to some other realm. He had explained this, and Legolas had nodded. But still, he had forgotten just how bored he would be. He had oceans of food and books to make the time go faster. Elladan had even managed to find a ream of fine paper and a pen for Legolas to use for writing or drawing, whatever his fancy took him.

But nevertheless the blond elf was bored. He sat down on the bed and placed two slim fingers over his heart, before he rubbed his ear. Two fingers for Elladan, three for Elrohir, he knew this. He still remembered Elrohir and the other blond elf. He knew he had loved them and missed them greatly, but why had now eluded his mind.

He let out a strangled noise, as he noticed a swallow that had gotten stranded behind the waterfall. He looked at the little wet bird and decided to pick it up and warm it under his tunic. He knew Elladan would be proud of him, for he was the one who had taught him to respect all living creatures.

---

Mirkwood

"Will you join me?" Dinalu called.

"Do you think I need a bath?" Elrohir chuckled as he entered the bathroom, naked as the day he was born.

"Perhaps, just come in here and we'll find out," the Mirkwood prince said with a mischievous grin.

Elrohir stepped down in the tub and placed himself behind Dinalu. "No matter if I need a bath or not, you need your hair rinsed," he said and gently moved the tangled hair so he could plant a kiss on his husband's neck.

"Later," Dinalu said and leaned back into his husband's embrace.

"If I let you have your wicked ways, will you then let me have mine when we get up?" Elrohir laughed and kissed Dinalu's ear.

"Promise," Dinalu whispered and turned around to face Elrohir and began to kiss his husband's face with little butterfly kisses.

"What did you have in mind for me then?" Elrohir whispered and smiled at Dinalu's already flushed cheeks.

"Turn around," he whispered back.

Elrohir did so and yelped as he felt himself pulled backwards until he sat on Dinalu's lap with his back against his lovers chest, but he immediately relaxed as he felt a hand sneak forward and wrap itself around his sated sex, manipulating it in the most cunning ways, while he felt a tongue wrap around his ear, sucking suggestively on it. Elrohir couldn't help but purr as the other hand came down to caress his chest and then move further down, running over the sensitive skin of his thigh, when suddenly it felt like a switch was turned on inside him, and he started to respond to the moves and the rhythm Dinalu had set.

Dinalu smiled when Elrohir closed his eyes and sped up his breathing to little puffs and purrs. And he lifted his husband slightly so he would be able to lower him onto his own erect member. At the first contact with the tight guardian muscle he let out a pleased sigh, but when Elrohir suddenly pushed himself down forcing Dinalu's erection inside him, the blond gasped out loud but did not move, he just savoured the feeling of his lover, and the energies he felt flow between them.

The Mirkwood prince regretted he had placed his husband with his back to him, as he knew how delightful he must look right now, so concentrated on his own pleasure, his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted, making little cooing noises.

But his musings stopped as Elrohir threw back his head and increased the speed, and then the last coherent thought fled his mind, and he just began to move per instinct. Not even Elrohir's needy pants and moans registered anymore. He moved his hand faster on Elrohir's erection and couldn't help but arch his back and thrust upwards when he felt Elrohir freeze in his moves before he made a pathetic little move followed with a loud moan, as he climaxed taking Dinalu with him over the edge, in a sparkling sensation.

They both lay spent in the tub, as Dinalu started laughing "So what were your wicked ways then?"

"Oh you'll see," Elrohir snickered while trying to catch his breath. "First of all we must rinse that tangled mane of yours, then you will see what I have in mind for you."

---

Rivendell

Legolas looked at the bird as its feathers dried, and it began to stir. He smiled at the bird and let out a thin happy sound. He took the bird to the opening in the cave to let her out, and as he stood there on the edge of the little lake he smiled at the sun. Never before had he ventured out this far. Elladan had not allowed it, and he really did not want to disobey but this bird would never find its own way out. He opened his hands and the little confused swallow shook its wings and head before it looked up at its saviour and quickly flew away up into sunset-painted sky. Legolas stood there and looked after the bird, before he took off his boots and sat down and lowered his feet in the cool water. It was lovely and he smiled. He looked over on the other side of the lake and saw those little white flowers Elladan always picked for him. He should pick some too, he thought to himself. That would cheer him up.

I haven't ever really found a place that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologize that once again I'm not in love
But it's not as if I mind that your heart ain't exactly breaking
It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cause' nothing I have is truly mine

I've always thought that I would love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone and live more simply
I have no idea what's happened to that dream

Cause' there's really nothing left here to stop me
It's just a thought, only a thought

While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down
While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try
Well how can I say I'm alive
-- Dido – life for rent


The plains

Theodred was riding over the western folds on his way to a border patrol. He was staring at the horses' mane thinking of the conversation he had shared with his father, king Theoden. His father had dragged him aside when he was about to leave for the stables, and told him that it would be wisest if he were to have his mind made up when he came back. Theodred had tried to smile disarmingly and leave, but this time his father apparently would not be led on that easily, and he had grabbed both his shoulders and told him once more that when he returned he would send out for suitable maidens for marriage. Theoden had had such a persuasive tone that Theodred had just hung his head and nodded, before he had mumbled an answer and left.

"Theodred?" a voice called before a warm hand was placed on his shoulder, and the prince looked up right into his cousin's warm trusting face.

"Eomer," Theodred mumbled and smiled.

"What is troubling you?" Eomer whispered

"Father," Theodred whispered back, "he is pushing forth the engagement arrangements."

"I'm sorry," Eomer said with honesty and squeezed Theodred's shoulder. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No, you've done more than enough," the prince said softly and smiled at his cousin.

"I just wish there were more I could do," Eomer mumbled and patted Theodred on the back. "Just let me know, ok?" he finished before he steered his horse away from the dark-haired prince.

And once again Theodred was lost in thought.......... marriage.... the thought alone made him shiver. He wished that he had found someone he loved and wanted to marry. For now he had to sadly admit to himself that so far he had never even found someone that made him feel the way he imagined love would feel. His father was thinking of the heir. He had reached an age where he should find himself a wife and produce children for the glory of Rohan. Theodred sighed...

He turned his head and looked at Eomer, talking to some of the men while they rode, laughing and teasing them. He looked so happy and tranquil, shining with all the things that Theodred always wished he had in him, but he always felt as if he were in the shadow of Eomer. Had his cousin taken pity on him when they had become lovers back then?

He knew their love went no deeper than the love they shared as close kin, and all those long nights had not changed into something deeper. He did not understand it. What was wrong with him? And lately not even Eomer could mend the hole inside him. Theodred shook his head. He should not think of these matters now. He was a warrior, and he should stay alert, not brood over his non-existent love life.

---

Rivendell

Legolas swam over the lake and crawled up on the far bank, smiling at the sight of the flowers there. He started to pick some of them, but then he saw another kind, bigger and brighter. He looked at the pathetic little bucket in his hand, and threw them aside to go and pick the pretty ones. This would be such a wonderful gift for Elladan.

He moved all the way to the river Anduin picking flowers he had never seen before. Some he had seen in a book, some he had not even had the fantasy to think would exist, exquisite red and yellow colours. He looked up at the sun and saw it was setting once more. How long had he been lost in his task? He stopped and looked around. Where was he?

Tears welled in his eyes, and the thrill he had felt over finding all the pretty flowers disappeared like dew from the sun, and was replaced by a building panic. He spun around frantically to find some landmark he knew, but to his terror he found none.

He wanted to yell for help, but as he opened his mouth only a little pathetic squeaking sound escaped, sounding more like a rabbit caught in a trap. He rubbed his earlobe to the point where his ear was hurting, trying to think.

And then, the sun set and he was lost in the dark. Legolas sat down and felt the tears start to flow, and all the stories Elladan had told about the world and its dangers came back to him, creatures of shadow and flame, wargs with poisonous bites, and men, those violent hideous creatures.

He climbed on top of a stone and wrapped his arms around his legs and cried while repeating his sign for Elladan, somehow hoping that Elladan would sense his fear and come save him.

---

The plains

They had set camp for the night, as they were in no hurry. Theodred was sitting looking at the fire, feeling the heat burn on his feet. He felt someone sit beside him. "Theodred, please... Tell me what ails you," he heard Eomer's voice whisper.

"I am just in a fell mood, my friend," Theodred said and rested his head on his knees with a sigh.

"Liar," Eomer said and wrapped an arm around his prince's shoulder. "You always were a terrible liar."

"I can't tell you," Theodred murmured in a low voice.

"Yes you can," Eomer said and rested his head against Theodred's back. "I am your friend, never forget that."

"I just don't know what to do," Theodred admitted. "I should flee, disappear in the dark and never look back."

"No, don't," Eomer whispered, "We would all miss you terribly." He squeezed his friend. "I would miss you, and I am sure we can face whatever it is you fear together."

"No Eomer my dear friend, not this time," Theodred whispered and felt himself wish that Eomer would just go away and leave him alone with his misery.

"Don't speak so."

"Eomer?" Theodred whispered and turned his head to look directly into Eomer's eyes. "Why did we never fall in love?"

This question took the large warrior by surprise. "Is that what ails you?" he whispered.

Theodred remained silent, but felt as tears threatened to fall behind his lashes.

"Is it?" Eomer pressured lightly.

Theodred still refused to answer but turned his head to look at the dark forest instead of those confused brown eyes.

Eomer sighed and finally spoke. "I don't know."

"Neither do I," Theodred whispered back with a thick voice.

"I am still at your side if you want me to be," Eomer whispered and leaned over to Theodred more closely.

"I know," Theodred whispered, "but I cannot remain at yours. I think it is time you found happiness, Eomer, not trying to keep me from going under, or mend my scars."

"I am here by my own free will, Theodred," Eomer said.

Theodred just nodded, not trusting his voice. Nothing had changed, he had not the heart to break free, to set Eomer free, and no matter what he did this man would always feel responsible. It had been so even when they were kids, but they were not children anymore. He had lived for 19 winters now, and was a man, and the games they played were different now... everything was different now. Yet he couldn't help but smile as Eomer kissed his neck softly and he heard him whisper, "Don't be so sad, my prince."

Baby, I've been waiting,
I've been waiting night and day.
I didn't see the time,
I waited half my life away.
There were lots of invitations
and I know you sent me some,
but I was waiting
for the miracle, for the miracle to come.

Ah I don't believe you'd like it,
You wouldn't like it here.
There ain't no entertainment
and the judgements are severe.
The Maestro says it's Mozart
but it sounds like bubble gum
when you're waiting
for the miracle, for the miracle to come.
-- Leonard Cohen – Miracle


The plains

"Theodred," Eomer whispered, "come lay beside me, and let me soothe your foul mood."

The young prince of Rohan avoided his cousin's eyes, but as he felt a hand lift his chin he had no option but to look up at Eomer.

"What is your answer, cousin dear?" Eomer whispered and knitted his eyebrows in a worried frown.

"Do you pity me, Eomer?" Theodred said and looked away as he avoided Eomer's eyes once more.

"Pity you?" Eomer said softly. "No I don't pity you."

"Then why are you asking me this?" Theodred whispered hoarsely. Why he suddenly felt like this, so hopeless, he did not know. But perhaps it had something to do with a rumour he had heard about Eomer and one of the fair folk.

"Because there is no reason for you look so sad and lonely," Eomer said with a slight smile. "I love you dearly and do not like to see you thus."

"Oh Eomer," Theodred sighed and leaned into his embrace, clinging to the broad warrior. "The times are changing, I feel it in the air."

"Yes you are right," Eomer whispered, "but they don't have to change just yet." He kissed the dark hair and smiled. He and his sister had always taunted Theodred about his layer of dirt, as it seemed like every grain of sand from the road would cling to the boy. They still did, Eomer noted, as he looked at the dark hair that looked almost grey in the golden light from the fire. "And perhaps the change is not for the worse, have you ever thought of that?"

Theodred shook his head weakly.

"Some changes are for the better, dear Theodred," Eomer whispered and rocked his distressed cousin in his arms.

"Then why does it feel so wrong? Why does it feel as if someone tore out the root of my soul?" Theodred whispered.

"You just have to make the best of the changes bestowed upon you," the warrior whispered and held his cousin tighter. "But no matter what, I will never be far from your side should you need me."

This vow made Theodred smile. "Thank you," he whispered.

Eomer lay down and propped up on his elbow, looking at Theodred with a grin. "You are a very beautiful man, Theodred. Whoever captures your heart will be very lucky."

Theodred blushed. "Thank you," he whispered and felt like an idiot for repeating himself.

Eomer patted the space next to him. "Come lie down," he said softly.

The prince shook his head with a smile and slowly lay down on his back next to Eomer, closing his eyes as he felt the callused hand of his cousin caress his cheek tenderly. He wondered why Eomer always had such a soothing effect on him. This was probably why he kept returning to his bed, he felt warm and safe, because Eomer's touches were careful and comforting. But what did he bring to Eomer? He sighed and opened his eyes, about to ask him who of the fair folk it was that he loved, but Eomer silenced him with a gently kiss. "Don't speak," Eomer whispered.

Theodred smiled but uttered no words; only a purr escaped his lips as Eomer opened his leather armour slowly with trained fingers.

---

Another place on the plains

Legolas had no more tears to shed; he felt his eyes itch and his throat go dry from crying. He had desperately clung to the hope that Elladan would miraculously appear, but he did not come, and so Legolas decided to move, to try and find his own way. He remembered that Elladan had told him once when he had awoken, afraid of the dark, that the dark was not scary, it could hide you as easily as it could hide dangers, so if you hid well and stayed alert, then the darkness was your friend.

My friend, Legolas thought to himself and started to walk out in the pitch dark of the night.

After some time he turned around and could not even see the large stone he had been sitting on before. He chided himself for this foolish idea he had had. Why had he moved?

He moved slowly forward, for he saw no other way to go, when his senses suddenly picked up a faint sound, a twig that snapped... although he was not trained in any skills of woodsmanship, he knew this meant he was not alone. But then who or what was it?

---

The plains

"But what about the others?" Theodred whispered as Eomer bent down and kissed one of his exposed nipples.

"Either they sleep, or they too comfort each other, you'll never know," Eomer chuckled, "but it is I who have the first watch." He finished off with a gentle bite to the nipple between his lips, and he smiled as he felt Theodred relax and enjoy the touches. Eomer sat up on his knees and began to open the prince's rough leather pants exposing his beginning arousal to the cold night winds, and leaned in and placed a teasing little kiss on the semi erect member before he leaned back again and started to remove his own armour and open his pants, pushing the leather down to his knees, not allowing himself the luxury of disrobing completely. Should they need to suddenly defend themselves it would be easier to do so in a less compromising costume.

He spooned up behind Theodred and the prince rolled over to the side, pushing his buttocks up against the warm skin of Eomer behind him. Eomer kissed the exposed shoulder of his cousin as he searched his opening with his hand. Finding what he was searching for, he began to manipulate the tight guardian muscle, listening to Theodred's breathing as it became more laboured. Eomer whispered loving words as he entered Theodred with his fingers, not really taking the time to prepare the prince, as they had been lovers for so long he knew this was no longer necessary.

As Eomer finally placed his erection at Theodred's opening and started to inch inside. Theodred purred out loud and draped his leg over Eomer's as far as the pants would allow him. "Never leave me," he moaned as Eomer started to move inside him.

"I won't," Eomer whispered back and bit Theodred's earlobe gently as he wrapped his arm around his lover's chest, holding him in place. He knew he meant it, but why did it feel like such a lie? Perhaps because as he lay here with his cousin, a different face kept coming to his mind, a fair face surrounded by silver hair, a pair of lush lips and deep brown eyes, the image of perfection.

"Liar," Theodred mouthed without sound, but lost his dark thoughts as he felt Eomer speed up his lovemaking, driving himself harder into Theodred.

The only sounds were those of muffled moans and purrs as Eomer reached his climax, closely followed by Theodred. And when they both lay breathing hard, sweating and dazed, Eomer kissed Theodred's shoulder. "Feel better?" he panted with a smile upon his lips.

"Yes" Theodred mumbled back. It was not the truth, yet it was no lie either, there was some strange feeling to this, as if it were the last time they would ever lie like this together. A premonition, Theodred thought to himself? It must have been the strange smell in the air, the scent of endings and strange unwelcome changes.

Eomer pulled out of Theodred, and pulled up his pants. "We need to rest, cousin," he whispered and gently touched Theodred's naked waist.

"You are right," Theodred whispered back and pulled up his pants as well, smiling at Eomer as he tucked the leather armour down under his head and made himself comfortable. The question burned on his lips, to know who it was who had captured Eomer's heart, but he would not ask now. He would leave Eomer with the thought that he had fixed his soul for the time being, and that his gentle words and touches had not been in vain.

Eomer spooned up behind Theodred again and wrapped a lazy arm around the prince. "Everything will be alright, you just wait and see," he mumbled.

Yes, I could be struck dead by lightning, Theodred thought to himself. "I hope you are right." But Eomer did not answer as he had already fallen asleep. Theodred chuckled to himself. "You are such a mother hen, Eomer, think of your own needs for once, and stop saving me."

Theodred closed his eyes, but saw only visions of darkness. How he wished that Irmo would take pity on him and grant him pleasant dreams or maybe even oblivion.

---

Mirkwood

Elladan sat in his bed and looked out the window. He was furious. Elrond had decided to stay another week, for one of the servants who had gone with them had found love here in Mirkwood, and so he had allowed the torn elf time to decide whether he wanted to stay here in the forest, or return home with them to Imladris.

"Aii Legolas, I'm sorry," he whispered in a barely audible voice.

He was feeling terribly guilty, hoping that he had left enough food for the young elf.

When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I can't explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.
-- Pink Floyd – Comfortably Numb

The plains

Another twig snapped. Legolas spun around scanning the dark. Who ever it was, they had seen him where he had not seen them, hiding – yes they had to be hiding, becoming one with the trees and rocks. His nightmare scenario quickly became reality when he suddenly felt something hard hit his back, and in the next second his face was buried in the ground. He tried to lift himself on his arms, but it just resulted in him being pushed into the ground harder this time. Legolas coughed and spit out a mix of blood, saliva and dirt.

Suddenly the weight on his back shifted. This was no tree falling over. This was a living creature on his back. Then why had it not bitten him yet? He was not in pain other than from the fall. Then he heard something; it made noises! And something else in the dark answered it.

It took Legolas some time to figure out, but it seemed like they were communicating in some odd way. The noises and grunts seemed to be planned; this surprised him and scared him at the same time.

The second creature sat down next to Legolas and at first the elf just held his breath in the hope that it would let him go, but then he suddenly felt a sharp pain on his scalp. The creature let go of his hair once more, and now it suddenly pulled Legolas' ear so hard that he was forced to turn his head along with the forceful pull. He opened his eyes slowly and looked directly up in the face of a young elf-like being with hair on its face. From the pictures Elladan had shown to him, he guessed that this had to be a mortal man.

The bearded face smiled down at him, but Legolas found it more a snarl than a smile. The young man turned to say something to the other one still sitting on Legolas' back. And they both laughed and the man who was gripping his ear yelled something out loud and an answer came back from several voices from the forest.

The grip tightened and Legolas felt himself panic. His heart beat like a rabbit. Who were these mortals? Why had they trapped him? And more importantly – what would they do to him? But his worries were brought to a halt when the young mortal sitting next to him pinched his cheek hard. Legolas tried to recoil but the force that held him down was too big, and so as the man continued to poke, pull and pinch him, almost as were he trying to decide what piece he should devour first, Legolas started to cry. His tears mingled with the dirt on his face as he lay there on the ground.

"It is a elf," the man said and pinched Legolas' ear once more.

"Pretty," said the man on Legolas' back.

"Too pretty for his own good!" laughed a man that stepped out from the bushes.

Legolas lay quietly, not understanding a word the men were uttering. All he understood was the crude laugh, and he closed his eyes wishing that he had never ventured out, that he had just stayed in the cave and been bored.

"Captain?" the man on Legolas' back said, "what do you want done with him?"

The man at Legolas' side looked down at the elf and suddenly pulled the elf's head back by his hair. "We'll make him scream, my friend," he hissed at Legolas' frightened expression.

Instinctively Legolas felt nothing but fear of the young man at his side. The man meant him no good, he could feel it. And when a couple of hands ripped off his boots he looked quizzically up at the young man who now wore a large grin. "Frightened, little elfie?" the man chuckled but Legolas just blinked and frowned, thinking of a possible way out from underneath the weight on his back.

If he had been able to, he would have screamed when his leggings suddenly and brutally were torn off, exposing his bare skin to the wind. Instinct told the frightened elf to get out of there fast, and he made a last effort to crawl out from under the man on his back, but was just rewarded with a knee in his neck keeping him in place. He let out a painful thin sound, sounding more like a pathetic squeak but the young man at his side just laughed more, and patted Legolas' hand. "Don't worry," he chuckled, "you'll like it."

Legolas made one more futile attempt to get free, but quickly lost the struggle as the knee on his neck forced him further down in the dirt.

The young man slapped Legolas across the face and the elf just gasped in surprise. The man looked at him as one would look at a rare animal, and hit him once more. Still no sound came from the fair-haired elf. "He's a mute," the man mumbled. "HE IS MUTE!" he yelled and laughed before he stood up and smiled. "This will be fun."

---

Mirkwood

Elladan felt like a trapped animal pacing the royal talan. He had begged and pleaded with his father to return to Rivendell soon, but Elrond was apparently having fun in Mirkwood, not having the same duties here as at home. And now some guests were about to show up, and a feast would be taking place. Elladan growled to himself. He wanted no feast; he wanted to go home. He had been looking forward to seeing Elrohir, but even his twin had changed since he had bonded with that damn blond. He was not even Elrohir anymore; he was just an elf. If his heart had been able to break even more, it would have. He sighed, but then he suddenly heard light footsteps in the hall, and he hid behind a drape. Why, he didn't know, as he had no reason to hide.

He watched as Elrohir entered with Dinalu at his side.

"I wonder where Elladan is hiding?" Elrohir said and leaned against his husband. "I haven't seen him all day."

Dinalu smiled at Elrohir's worries and kissed his ear gently. "I am sure he is just out enjoying the sun. There are a lot of interesting offers here in Mirkwood, and I am sure your brother will receive one or two."

"I don't think he is so easily seduced," Elrohir mumbled.

"Are you jealous, little one?" the blond laughed.

"No," Elrohir stated and let Dinalu lift him up on the dining table. "You don't understand..." He took a deep breath. "He is just so fragile, and he has never been the one to just frolic around."

"There is a first time for everything, my love," Dinalu whispered and kissed his husband sweetly on the forehead.

"Not for Elladan," Elrohir whispered but relaxed against his husband's feather light touches.

---

What did he mean, not for Elladan? Elladan wondered. He watched the two kiss and caress until they forgot about the conversation that had bought them there. He leaned against the large window frame and closed his eyes. This should had been his, these sweet little endearments spilling from Elrohir's lips should have been for his ears only.

"Hush, forget about Elladan, he's fine," Dinalu whispered.

Elladan froze. Had he really said that? Had his ears deceived him? They must have, for Elrohir said nothing in his defence.

Witnessing their rapidly heating coupling left Elladan feeling like a intruder. He even had the decency to blush as he heard Elrohir's voice moan softly – the most angelic sound he could think of. It sent shivers through his body, and tears to his eyes. He had to get out of this hideout. It was no longer a place to hide; it had become a trap.

He pulled the curtain to the side gently, careful to make no sound, and tried his hardest not to look at the two elves on the table. This was supposed to be mine, all mine – he thought to himself as he crept out of the dining hall.

I know you're watching
You know I see
My face in your eyes
I know you see

As I run blindly
From the fear I know's not real
Cover my face
Do not watch my eyes

Let me hate for you
And hate for me
My face in your eyes
All I can see

As I run blindly
From the fear I know's not real
Cover my face
Do not watch my eyes

As I run freely
I will leave your world behind
Carry me further
Do not see my lie
-- Miranda sex garden – cover my face

The plains

No matter how much Legolas tried to focus on something else, just like Elladan had taught him when he had a bad dream, the men's hands were just too real. No fairytale fantasy could chase away that burning sensation from his skin.

And when the hands got rougher and more inquisitive, his vision burst like a balloon, and all he thought of was escape. He could not escape into a dream world; this was real, ever so real.

The man that had been sitting by his side laughed at Legolas' feeble attempt of escape. "Where are you going, little elfie?" he chuckled as he unbuckled his belt. "Oh you can't answer, I forgot!" He roared with laughter and let his pants drop down around his ankles.

That sound alone caused Legolas to panic. He could not see what was going on, but he felt the tension in the air, and decided it was not a good omen. He tried once more to crawl away under the weight of the man on top of him. But this only resulted in a firmer grip on his hips, and his face being squashed further down in the dirt.

When he suddenly felt rough hands spreading his buttocks, he thought he had lived to feel the worst he had ever imagined. Never in his life had he thought someone would touch him 'there' and yet these insensitive hands did.

He had no choice but to let this happen, had no means of escape.

Suddenly he felt it as someone had pushed a burning poker inside him. He opened his mouth to scream. No real sound came out, instead his mouth filled with dirt. Nothing Elladan had said had prepared him for this.

---

Another place on the plains

Theodred woke from a disturbing dream, and looking around in the dark, he saw the rest of his men asleep. All except Eomer, who was sitting by the fireplace humming to himself softly as he boiled water for what appeared to be tea. Theodred got up from his sleeping place and slowly walked to the fire and Eomer.

Eomer looked up and smiled. "You should rest more, my friend."

"I don't want to rest," Theodred pouted.

Eomer laughed and patted the log next to him. "Nay, you need not to rest anymore," he smiled, "but if I return you looking like a drowned rat, your father will have my head on a platter."

"Don't worry Eomer, I will look every bit my charming self when we return," Theodred mumbled and sat down next to his friend.

Eomer gently wrapped an arm around his friend's shoulder. "Nightmare?" he asked softly.

Theodred nodded. "If only I knew what I had done to deserve to be tormented in sleep as well," he sighed and leaned against Eomer. "Something is wrong," he mumbled. "Don't know what it is, but something is coming my way whether I want it or not."

"These things are called fate, and we discussed that once before," Eomer whispered. "Now just sit here with me. We still have several hours until daybreak, and you need more rest before we head back to Rohan."

---

The plains

Legolas had lost count; the relentless pressure and groping hands didn't even seem to bother him anymore. As he slipped in and out of consciousness his only wish was to just not feel anymore. He heard the merry laughter, and felt something oozing down his thighs. His imagination did not even come close to the reality of this brutality. And Legolas feared that this would claim his very spirit.

Should he survive... He didn't even think this thought to its conclusion, when he was disturbed in his odd little bubble by a change of hands and pressure. He squeezed his eyes tight waiting for a new burning stab. But it never came, instead they all let go, and he slumped down on the ground.

The man with the vicious voice kicked him in the side. "He fainted, the little elfie is out cold," he laughed.

Legolas did not understand what it was that was funny, but he just lay still, hoping the ground would open and swallow him whole. To his surprise the voices became fainter, the mortals left! Now he was confused. He had been so sure that they would kill him, that he had not even considered that he had been alive to witness them leave.

Now their voices were so faint that he suddenly felt sure they had actually left. His apathy disappeared instantly, and panic kicked in, urged on by a survival instinct he didn't even knew he had. He opened his eyes wide, and slowly raised himself to his knees. Even though he wanted to fly away, his body would not obey. His knees were shaking and he had to draw his breath in uneven, wheezy gasps of air. He felt the darkness close in on him again, but he shook his head. Not now! He had to get out of here.

He pushed backwards until he was in a sitting position, but then his abused behind shot arrows of flaming pain up into his stomach.

run, run, run, run, run

He slowly and very ungracefully got to his feet. He winced in pain every time he tried to move his legs. He was just about to give up ever getting his body to move another inch, and just lay down, hoping some wild animals would kill him off. Then he suddenly heard a noise, and his body moved without him thinking. He just ran, not caring that he was half naked, and that the bloodstains would probably make a pretty clear trail. He just wanted to get away. He could not let this happen once more.

---

Some other place on the plains

Eomer had almost fallen asleep, listening to the sound of even breathing coming from Theodred who slept next to him. Poor cousin, even in his sleep he looked troubled.

Theodred stirred when Eomer suddenly turned his head. "Did you hear that?" he whispered to the dark-haired man.

Theodred blinked and opened his eyes, listening to the night – yes there was definitely a noise. "Breathing?" he whispered.

"It sounds like someone is hurt," Eomer said. "No one would wheeze like that."

"Orcs?" Theodred said and reached for his sword.

"Don't know," Eomer said and stood up, followed by Theodred, who went into the darkness.

the ruiner's got a lot to prove
he's got nothing to lose
and now he made you believe
the ruiner's your only friend
well he's the living end
to the cattle he deceives
the raping of the innocent the ruiner ruins everything he sees
now the only pure thing left in my fucking world is wearing your disease

you had to covet what was mine
didn't you?
didn't you?

the ruiner's a collector
he's an infector
serving his shit to his flies
maybe there will come a day when those that you keep blind will suddenly
realize

maybe it's a part of me you took to a place i hoped it would never go
and maybe that fucked me up much more than you'll ever know

and what you gave to me
my perfect ring of scars
you know i can see
what you really are
-- Nine inch nails - Ruiner

"Eomer?" Theodred called out. But received no answer - he looked around in the dark but saw nothing, when suddenly something nearly knocked him off his feet.

"Oomph - what the..." Theodred looked at the figure that slammed into him.

Legolas looked up at the dark-haired man, but only for a second before his eyes fluttered shut and the dark oblivion took him once more.

"Eomer! Eomer! I have a dead elf here!" Theodred yelled. Again he heard no answer, but a rustle in the bushes and then his cousin was standing next to him.

"A dead elf?" he panted, exhausted from running towards the voice of his cousin. "Elves don't die, you oaf!" he chuckled.

"This one did," Theodred said with a slight panic in his voice.

"Don't be a fool, Theodred," Eomer said and lifted up the elf, slinging him on his back. "We need to get back to camp to examine him."

---

Eomer placed Legolas on his bed roll, and they both kneeled by the still form. "Ehm, Eomer? What happened to this elf?" Theodred asked.

Eomer prodded Legolas with professional hands, due to his experience in tending simple battle injuries. "Me thinks he was raped," he answered in a thick voice.

"Raped?" Theodred gasped.

"Yes, my sweet cousin, and from the looks of this, not just once," the Rohirrim said with a dark look.

Theodred clasped his hand for his mouth in shock. "How utterly appalling," he whispered.

Eomer nodded. "We must get him to a gifted healer, or we WILL end up with a dead elf on our hands."

"You mean he is alive?" Theodred said and risked a little smile.

"Yes I mean he is alive, you imp" Eomer said and couldn't help but smile himself. "But I do not think his struggles are over by far."

Theodred looked up at Eomer with a confused expression. "He is alive, is he not? He should be glad to be, after such an ordeal."

"Perhaps not," Eomer said and smiled at his innocent cousin. "Would you like to live with this knowledge, if you were he?"

"Oh....no," Theodred said and shook his head, finally seeing Eomer's point. "But still we can't just let him die."

"I never said that, Theodred. We must get him to Rohan quickly and have your father's physician take a look at him," Eomer said as he rose to his feet once more. "If you will gather your things, I will prepare your horse."

"Me? You want me to take him to Rohan?" Theodred said and looked confused.

"Yes, you are a swifter rider than me, and besides, Theoden might listen to you," Eomer reasoned. "Now make haste unless you want him to fade while on your horse."

For some reason Theodred just nodded and ran off to gather his belongings and weapons. This could get dangerous if those people or creatures that hurt the elf should return and claim their prize. This thought alone gave young Theodred a bitter taste in his mouth. Yes, he would ride like the lightening, he would do all in his power to save the elf. He smiled to himself, he had never seen an elf before, yet he had had no trouble recognizing this beautiful creature for what he was. He finished gathering his things, and went for his horse.

When he got there he saw Eomer standing there with the elf, who was now wrapped in a blanket. Theodred figured it was out of respect for the elf, for as far as he knew, elves did not feel the cold. Or perhaps they did when they were dying? He nodded to Eomer, and his cousin smiled back. He would have a trillion questions for this elf once he was nursed back to health.

---

Mirkwood

Elladan watched Elrond as he made everything ready for their departure. Finally he would get home, finally everything would be normal once more -he had had it with this torture, watching Elrohir and Dinalu displaying their affection. He knew he should be happy for them, but in the depths of his heart he just found it impossible. All those kisses should be his, and his alone.

"Elladan?"

"Elladan?"

The son of Elrond shook his head and turned towards the sound, and looked

directly into his father's worried face. "What is wrong my son?"

"Nothing, father," Elladan lied.

"You always were a terrible liar, Elladan," Elrond said with an odd smile. Elladan didn't offer his father an answer, he just lowered his gaze to his feet, and Elrond placed a warm hand on his son's shoulder. "Is it Elrohir?"

Elladan nodded slowly. There was no use in lying to his father when he was caught like this.

"He is your twin, Elladan. It is only natural you miss his presence," Elrond offered.

Again Elladan nodded slowly. "I guess that is it," he mumbled softly.

"Come, my child, let us return to Rivendell. I am sure that everyday life there will get you back to normal quickly," Elrond said and squeezed Elladan's shoulder.

"Yes" Elladan mumbled, "you are right, maybe returning to my duties will rid

me of this dark mood."

Elrond smiled happily. This had gone far better than he had expected. He had

never thought that Elladan would understand so quickly. But this way he at least was not forced to have a father-son chat. "Go to the stables and fetch your horse, and we will leave quickly."

"Yes, father," Elladan said and turned and walked out the door. He lifted his head once he was in the corridor. Anger flashed his features. How he hated this! Hated Elrond, but most of all hated this realm, hated the ever-perfect son of Thranduil. He needed the solitude of his room, and the calm of Legolas' gentle presence to finish his plan to bring them all down.

I just want to feel safe in my own skin,
I just want to be happy again
I just want to feel deep in my own world
But I'm so lonely
I don't even want to be with myself anymore
On a different day,
if I was safe in my own skin,
then I wouldn't feel lost and
so frightened
But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin
And I'm so lonely
I don't even want to be with myself anymore
I just want to feel safe in my own skin,
I just want to be happy again.
-- Dido – honestly ok

The plains

Theodred had been riding his poor horse almost to the point of exhaustion, and as the sun set, he realized he would have to set camp. He found a spot that would keep them all safe from the night winds that swept across the plains, and gently dismounted the horse as he lifted the elf down too.

He didn't know if the elf would wake or not, so he decided to build a fire and prepare some food. He did not know much about healing the spirit and body of someone, but he knew that food and rest were never a bad thing. So he placed Legolas on the ground, but frowned as the elf let out a pitiful whimper when he made contact with the ground. – What if the elf woke? What if he ran off? He couldn't risk that. Theodred stopped in his thoughts and sat down next to the elf, wondering what he should do. He decided to just try and make a fire with the branches here, and not venture too far away.

He looked at the little fire he had made, and decided that a little fire was better than no fire at all. He sat down once more opposite the elf, and pulled out the dried meat from his saddlebag. He smiled as the elf stirred in his coma-like sleep. At least he was still alive.

Legolas felt a steady rise in the pain he had felt for as long as he remembered... confused images flashed before his eyes. A little part of him wondered if he had gone insane.

Theodred watched as the elf began to move about and whimper more than before. What was he to do? What did you do with a dying elf that was in pain? He could come up with no other reasoning than to move nearer to the elf in case he could be of assistance or comfort. He quickly moved to the elf's side, and began to tenderly caress the elf's forehead, but it did not seem to lessen the seizure. He slowly began to hum a tune, and strangely enough that seemed to help, so he took a deep breath and started singing, the first and best song he remembered.

As I went out walking, one morning in June
To view the fair fields, and the valleys in bloom;
I spied a pretty fair maid, she appeared like a queen,
With her costly fine robes and her mantle so green.
Says I, my pretty fair maid, wont you come with me,
We'll both join in wedlock, and married we'll be;
I will dress you in fine linen, you'll appear like a queen,
With your costly fine robes and your mantle so green.
Says she, now my young man, you must be excused,
For I'll wed no man, so you must be refused;
To the green woods I will wander and shun all men's view
For the boy I love dearly lies in farmed waterloo.

From far away Legolas heard the song. It puzzled him that this soft voice was connected to these horrid images that kept swimming his mind. He fought to open his eyes, to see where this sound was coming from. He heard his own voice groan as he fluttered open his eyes and looked directly up into a face. Dark hair fell down on both sides of the pale face. At first he thought it was an elf, but after moment it appeared to him that the song made no sense, and that those little hairs he could see on the other face were the mark of a mortal – this was a human man!

Theodred noticed the elf panic and he grabbed the slender figure. "Don't... I mean you no harm," he said softly, but it didn't help. The elf just seemed to panic more. Theodred bit his lip, and tried to remember those times he had met a ranger or such, who mastered the elven language.

That language! It had been the same sounds the men who had treated him so terribly had uttered. This one's voice did not seem so wicked, though, and he did look more worried than predatory, but Legolas was still not convinced.

"All right, here goes nothing," Theodred mumbled and smiled nervously down at the terrified elf. If only he could remember the elvish word for friend... Ah yes! "Mushroom!" he said with a triumphant smile.

Mushroom? What was the man on about? But Legolas couldn't help but be slightly amused and relaxed somewhat. He nodded weakly.

Finally he had made contact, Theodred thought to himself. It was amazing! Now if he only had one of the scholars, or better yet a ranger, or another elf, it would be just perfect. The elf didn't answer but at least he looked less frightened.

"Theodred, mushroom," he repeated and pointed at himself.

Legolas couldn't help but smile, even though the situation didn't really call for it. He made a weak attempt to make the sign for Legolas, but the man didn't seem to care or understand.

This was going better than he had imagined, and Theodred was proud of himself, finally there was something he had mastered! – Now all they had to do was to wait for daybreak so they could travel the last bit to Rohan. – Oh what an idiot he was, he had forgotten to offer the elf some food. He pulled up the piece of dried meat from his pocket he had been eating himself and offered it to the elf, but the elf just turned his head, and closed his eyes. "You are not hungry, I reckon," Theodred mumbled and took a bite of the meat himself. The elf's breathing became shallow again, and the young man figured he was sleeping once more. "Yes, you get some rest before we ride again."

---

On the way to Rivendell

Elrond was watching his eldest son closely; Elladan looked like he was brooding. He had been looking like that ever since they had left Mirkwood. Elrond had tried to speak with him, but had only been brushed off gently every time. It was apparent that Elladan did not wish to discuss this. Elrond wondered why Elladan had insisted on leaving without telling Elrohir, but there Elrond had not obliged, he had not wanted to leave without telling his son. Elladan was acting most oddly. How on earth could Elrond get him to tell what was wrong?

---

Mirkwood

"Finally alone," Dinalu sighed as he flopped down in a large green chair.

"Dina," Elrohir answered with a annoyed expression as he walked to the window and opened it so the night air rushed into their bedroom. "I know you don't like him much, but he is my brother."

"Brother, smother," Dinalu answered and kicked off his boots. "I tell you he is up to something, and it's nothing good."

Elrohir turned around and frowned. "Don't speak like that, Elladan is my twin and I love him dearly, do not speak so of him!"

"I'll speak of him as I like, Elrohir," Dinalu sneered. "I realise you love your brother, but you do not need to be blind to the truth!"

"I am not blind," Elrohir yelled, "it is you who is so caught up in your own, that you cannot understand that Elladan just misses me as much as I miss him!"

Dinalu paled and flushed in a second. "Then why did you ever leave him?" he hissed.

"Because I wanted to go with you," Elrohir sneered, "but I honestly thought that my family would be welcome in our home."

"And they are," Dinalu answered flatly.

"Apparently only parts of my family," Elrohir said.

"No," Dinalu said and closed his eyes, rubbing his temples. "But I don't have to love your brother, do I?"

"No," Elrohir mumbled, "but you don't have to hate him either."

"Listen, Elrohir," Dinalu said and stood up and walked towards Elrohir in the window sill. "If you worry this much, why don't you just follow them to Rivendell?" He paused as he stood in front of his husband. "Just be sure to come back to me," he added softly.

"I will think about it," Elrohir said.

"About leaving or about coming back?" Dinalu asked.

"Both," Elrohir said and looked miserable.

Dinalu sighed and looked and the sky behind Elrohir. "So be it," he whispered.

When your belly's empty and the hunger's so real
And you're too proud to beg and too dumb to steal
You search the city for your only friend
No one would you see
You ask yourself, who could it be
A solitary voice to speak out and set me free
It's hard to say it
I hate to say it, but it's probably me

You're not the easiest person I ever got to know
And it's hard for us both to let our feelings show
Some would say I should let you go your way
You'll only make me cry
If there's one guy, just one guy
Who'd lay down his life for you and die
It's hard to say it
I hate to say it, but it's probably me
-- Sting - It's probably me

Mirkwood

Elrohir had been moving through the Mirkwood castle as if he were a ghost. Dinalu, who felt unable to change anything about Elrohir's decision, felt just as lost and miserable, trying to capture the elusive creature that his heart ached for, but with no luck.

Elrohir had never in his life felt such torment. Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn't Dinalu just like Elladan? After all he was his twin, and he could never in his life imagine a world without his twin. He sat down in the little garden next to the giant oak, and bit his lip. He remembered that he and Elladan had once made a pact. Dinalu could just not understand how important this pact still was to him. He had promised promised to never leave. They had even mixed blood to seal the agreement. They might have been young, and neither of them had been ready for real life, or the peril that their hearts would throw their way, but this didn't make the pact less potent. He sighed. There still was a choice to be made, and no matter what he chose, he would end up heartbroken. He would either lose his twin or to lose his bonded mate.

---

Rivendell

Elrond had been more than puzzled by Elladan's behaviour. Once they had reached the valley; he had seemed to visibly relax, but when they had handed over the horses to the stable personnel, he seemed to tense once more. Elrond had let it be at the moment, he needed to watch his son more to know what it was that ailed him. Elladan had not even wished to go with him to the halls of fire to relax upon the journey, but had made some excuse to be left alone. He knew he should have followed to see what it was that made Elladan act so strangely, but he had chosen to let his son have his private life, and decided that he really shouldn't snoop.

Elladan had almost not been able to sit still in the saddle, but had forced himself to just be happy that they were finally home. But when his father had suggested that they go to the halls of fire before retiring, he had said that he had wanted some time to himself, and hoped that his father would blame his mood on the departure from Elrohir.

He rushed further down the corridor, past where he should have turned up the little staircase that led to his and Elrohir's sleeping chambers. Elladan ignored that and continued out in the gardens. He had to go to the cave where he had left Legolas. How he hoped the elfling would not have suffered from lack of food or something as grave. But never had he been prepared for what he actually found.

---

Rohan

Finally Theodred and his precious cargo saw the silhouette of the golden city, and he let out a sigh of relief. "Look elf, it's Meduseld. We have reached Edoras!" The elf shook his head in confusion and Theodred continued, "We are home."

home Legolas thought, so this is what this man calls home. The thought of an entire city of those smelly humans filled his heart with dread, and he silently prayed that Namó would just call him home, and not let him endure more trials than he had gone through already. But no answer came to his prayer, and he decided that he needed sleep after all, so hopefully the humans' beds weren't as stinking and unpleasant as their race. Not that he had a choice, as he had to follow this man where he took him. And if Legolas was honest to himself, this human, of all the humans he met in his lifetime, wasn't the worst specimen. He seemed kind, honest and concerned.

"I think the guards saw us now," Theodred whispered as he waved with one hand towards a wooden tower. "Just you wait until we are at my fathers house, then you will have a bed and decent food." He smiled to himself. "No more roots and dried meat."

---

Rivendell

"Little rabbit?" Elladan called as he entered the cave. He stopped and listened - not a sound. He strained his ears for the sound of clothing rustling or a chair pushed back, but nothing came. "Little rabbit?" he called once more.

With a pounding heart he went into the cave. What if the little one had died from lack of drink or food? What if he had fallen ill? - nah! Elves didn't get ill. Elladan looked around the cave. There was a table full of decomposing food, indicating that it had been some time since someone had been here. "Where are you?" he whispered with a shaking voice.

Elladan sat down on a chair and looked around in the cave. There was no sign of battle, ergo he had not been kidnapped. But what had then happened? Had he just left?

Elladan shook his head in denial. No! His little friend wouldn't just leave him. He was his life, his tutor, his father and his best friend - the little elf knew nothing but him. He would never get an adventurous thought. "This is all my fault," Elladan whispered, and felt hot tears prick the corners of his eyes. "I swore to take care of him, and I failed," he whispered.

"Please come home."

---

Mirkwood

"Elrohir?" Dinalu whispered as he sat down next to his beloved's slumbering form, and upon sensing the half-elf stirring in his sleep, he quickly added, "Please don't run, we need to speak."

"Dina," Elrohir mumbled and lashed an arm out to wrap itself around the blond's waist. "Where have you been?"

"Thinking," Dinalu answered truthfully, smiling at the feeling of running his fingers through his husband's long dark hair. He hadn't even realized just how much he had missed this feeling.

Elrohir didn't answer, he just held his loved one tightly in his embrace.

"A-Are you leaving?" Dinalu suddenly asked.

"Yes," Elrohir answered with a thick voice. "Come with me, my love."

"I can't," Dinalu whispered and felt the first tears leave a warm trail down his cheeks. "My father needs me here."

"Please?" Elrohir pleaded, looking up at Dinalu with his large grey eyes. "Please?"

But Dinalu just shook his head. "No my love, if you want to return to Rivendell, you must do so alone."

Elrohir slowly let go of Dinalu, and sat up. "Is that your final word?" he whispered.

"I'm afraid so," Dinalu said. He looked away, trying to focus at on the window, anything not to look at Elrohir.

"Would you at least look at me?" Elrohir bit his lip and reached for his lover once more, but decided to leave him be and his hand fell into his lap.

Dinalu shook his head in a childish manner. "No," he said in a voice thick with tears.

"I never thought it would come to this," Elrohir suddenly whispered and took a deep breath before he continued. "Dina, I do love you, and I promise I will return once I have seen my home."

"Don't promise me anything you can't keep, Elrohir," Dinalu said, with his eyes still firmly fixed on the window.

"But I do promise, and I will keep it," Elrohir answered hotly before he rose from the bed, needing to escape this room.

We slept in this room together, but now you're gone,
And it's so quiet I turn the TV on.
We lived in this room together, we painted the walls.
Now time doesn't stand still,
It crawls

And I'm afraid to sleep,
'Cause if I do I dream of you,
And dreams are always deep
On the pillow where I weep.

Lying alone in the darkness with the memory in my head.
There's a big hole where my heart is
And a lonely feeling rollin' round my bed.

I'm afraid to sleep
-- Dido - I'm afraid to sleep

Rivendell

Elladan searched the cave painstakingly, but couldn't figure out how or when the young elf had left, and why. He was able to tell that not very much food had been eaten, so Legolas must have left only a few days after his own departure.

But Elladan was not a stupid elf, he knew that if he stayed away for too long he would arouse suspicion. Elrond was already keeping an eye on him; he could feel it. The concerned looks and the worried shakes of his head burned themselves into Elladan's back. Why hadn't he insisted that Elrohir go with him? He hated the fact that Elrond would rather it had been he who had left, and Elrohir who had stayed. Elladan was sure of this.

Maybe he should go and visit grandfather for a while, and from there ask Elrohir to go home to Rivendell. He sighed and left the cave. He needed to make a brand-new plan.

---

Rohan

Once in the stable, Theodred lifted Legolas from the horse, and smiled at the elf. "You need a name, friend."

Legolas just blinked and looked at the strange young man, who looked like he was thinking hard.

"I got it!" he yelled triumphantly. "Bolvirk! That is a good strong name, for a strong... ehm... elf."

Just then they were spotted by two of the warriors who at first looked startled, and Legolas turned his head, looking just as startled as they did. Theodred was sure that if he hadn't been holding on to the elf's arm, he would have bolted out of the stables. "Pray tell, our prince, who is your lady friend?" one of the men said with badly hidden amusement.

Theodred rolled his eyes and smirked at the soldiers. "Don't you two have something other to do than standing about here? I will be sure to tell my father his men are idle, and they need more labour to keep them occupied."

The two soldiers hurried off, mumbling something Theodred chose to ignore.

"All right, we need a name for an elf, who...ehm... looks like a female."

Legolas looked at Theodred so intensely that he almost became cross-eyed. He wished he could understand what the young man had said. He had noticed that whatever it was he had done, those two other men had scrambled off, so he

guessed the human here was someone of rank, otherwise he wouldn't be able to

boss those others around so.

"Perhaps we should call you..." Theodred looked up and down the weary elf

"ehm... Ferret? You look like a beaten ferret, my friend."

Theodred smiled at the elf, and Legolas smiled back, not having any idea what the man had said, but he just reacted to the warm tone in the youngling's voice, and was most relieved when he was gently led away from the horses. If he had not been so frightened, he was sure he would have been able to fall asleep right there and then.

---

Rivendell

Elrond was sitting at his large desk watching dusk as it slowly engulfed the land. What was he to do about Elladan? He massaged his temples and sighed. He had to face that his children were adults, but why then did they all seem so flighty?

He took a pen and started to write, not even knowing why, but feeling his

patience at an end.

---

Mirkwood

Thranduil had also been watching his son with increasing worry. What remained of Dinalu was but a fragment of what he used to be. The handsome young elf used to fill the room, and used to enjoy telling dirty stories that would make the soldiers blush. But now they hardly got a word out of him. He would mumble some pleasantries but nothing near like the vivid elf he had been for just a month ago.

Dinalu had been avoiding his father, not able to keep up appearances, hiding in his chambers as much as possible, trying to cope with Elrohir's decision. One good thing was that his beloved had stopped running from him, when they had both agreed to the destiny they apparently had.

Elrohir sat at the desk at their rooms, watching the fire in the fireplace, gnawing on the featherpen. What was he to write? All he had written so far was dear father but in order to warn Elrond of his return, he needed to come up with some reason, and not just a reason, but a reason Elrond would believe. He could never tell him the truth, but neither could he lie. He crooked his head, losing himself in the dance of the flames once more, and didn't even hear Dinalu enter their chambers.

"Elrohir?" Dinalu said, walking over to touch his husband's shoulder.

The dark-haired elf nearly jumped out the chair before he smiled to himself. "Good evening, my love," he answered in a sad voice.

"Writing?" Dinalu asked and leaned in over Elrohir's shoulder.

"Yes," Elrohir said and lay down the pen he had been holding. "But I can't

seem to get the letter right."

"Pity," Dinalu said with more venom in his voice than he intended.

"Don't start another argument, please?" Elrohir sighed and rubbed his cheek against the hand on his shoulder.

Dinalu didn't answer. He just nodded, and rested his head against Elrohir's.

"Are you writing Elladan?" he whispered.

"No," Elrohir answered meekly. "I'm writing my father, if you really want to know," he sighed and kissed the hand on his shoulder.

"To tell him you are coming back?" the blond elf asked.

"Yes, and you see that is what won't fit in my letter," Elrohir said with a frown. "The I part, I wish I could write we instead."

"I know," Dinalu said. "Did you set a day for your departure?"

"No," Elrohir answered, "but when I do you will be the first to know," he hissed.

"Don't be so defensive, I was just trying to make conversation," Dinalu said.

Elrohir let out an offended snort, but then relaxed before he turned around in the chair and looked at his husband. "I know it's hard on you, too."

Dinalu was about to give a snappy comeback but decided not to, and decided to just nod and smile. "It's strange, even though we are in the same room, eat at the same table and sleep in the same bed, I miss you."

Elrohir bit his lip, feeling a lump form in his throat. "I miss you, too."

"Elrohir? I will ask you one last time, please stay here with me," Dinalu whispered as he crouched down in front of the dark-haired elf.

Elrohir let out a pained sigh. "If I stay, will you be ready to let Elladan stay here?"

Dinalu frowned. "Why is it when I speak to you about love, you mention Elladan?"

"He is my twin," Elrohir sneered, "and I love him more than life itself."

"More than me?" Dinalu asked with a hurt expression.

"I didn't say that," Elrohir sighed.

"No, but that is what you meant."

"No, that is not what I meant!" Elrohir yelled, feeling tears press behind his eyes. Why did they fight so?

"Elrohir," Dinalu said with a serious voice, "I am married to you, not your twin - and I am sick and tired of hearing about how close you are. You are supposed to be close to me too, but instead you push me away!"

"He is my brother, Dinalu!" Elrohir yelled. "Just because you are a spoiled only child!" - the words had barely left his lips before he clasped his hands in front of his mouth "I'm sorry.. I didn't mean that" he mumbled, and reached out for Dinalu who was already standing up.

"No.. I am sorry, Elrohir son of Elrond," Dinalu hissed and left the room, "go home if you so please, I care not."

"B-but..." Elrohir whispered, but was answered with the door slamming. He let out a shaky breath and turned to his letter once more, and wrote.

Dear Father

I am coming home. You should expect me within this moon, as I am riding past Rohan on my way. Tell Elladan.

Regards,

Elrohir

Rohan? Why did he write that? Oh well, now he just had to go there. Perhaps

it was time for some adventure. Elrohir shrugged and rolled the parcel together and used the royal stamp of Mirkwood to seal it. "There, it's final," he whispered to himself as he too rose to go find one of the messengers to take his letter to Rivendell.

Danny's not eating, he's drinking and sleeping in
I saw him last night at a party, he's definitely thin
He says he's happy, he looked pretty good but I think
That as the sun rises on Mary, it sets on him

And just dance, and just drink and just see the things
I'll probably never get a chance to see

Danny came over last night and I cooked for him
We talked about you Mary and how much we loved you still
He told me he's packed up your books and your letters and things
And as the sun sets on Mary, it's rising on him

And we danced and we drank and I've seen some things
you probably never got the chance to see
Don't worry Mary, cos I'm taking care of Danny
And he's taking care of me
-- Dido - Mary's in India


Rohan

They had just made it inside when Legolas cringed from the roar of thunder. The man appeared to be oblivious to it, and just thought the elf had gotten frightened from something in the entrance. "Don't be afraid, you're safe," Theodred whispered and petted the elf's hair as he would a small child.

The elf just blinked. A soldier came and nodded to the prince. "Greetings Theodred, I was of the impression that Eomer and his men would stay in the plains for longer, yet you are already here - what goes?"

"Greetings Ulf, I have returned because we found this elf, who is in need of medical care," Theodred answered. "Will you tell my father I am home, and then call the healer?"

"It shall be my pleasure, my prince," Ulf said and nodded once more before he hurried off, leaving Theodred and Legolas alone in the hall once more.

"Come elf, you need to get some decent clothes on, and a warm bath," Theodred mumbled and led Legolas down the corridor to his own chambers.

---

Rivendell

Elladan walked back to his own chambers, deciding it was too dark to search the primacies right now, even for him. And honestly he was rather tired, in his own thoughts he didn't even notice when he walked straight into his father's chief advisor.

"Ai Elladan!" Erestor yelped. "Watch where you are going!"

"Oh, Erestor - forgive me," Elladan gasped, watching the tea soak through the other elf's robes, and eventually drip on the floor. "I can make you some new tea if you wish."

"Nay, it is quite all right, penneth," Erestor said and looked at Elladan closely. "What is amiss, my friend?" he suddenly said.

"Amiss? Why would anything be amiss?" Elladan said and blinked innocently.

"You look like you haven't slept for a month, Elladan," the advisor said in a slightly accusing tone.

Seeing no way out from under the chief advisor's probing look, Elladan slumped his shoulders and nodded. "True, I do not sleep well these days."

"May I ask why?" Erestor said and smiled.

Elladan sighed in a childish way. "I guess I miss Elrohir."

Erestor smiled again and rested his hand on Elladan's shoulder. "We all get lonely sometimes, Elladan," the advisor admitted. "There is no shame in that."

The younger elf looked up at the dark unreadable eyes of his father's advisor.

"I am not ashamed," he stated.

"Why did you not confide in someone earlier?" Erestor said and raised a brow, as did he not believe the young twin.

"Confide in who?" Elladan asked. "My father? I would never hear the end of it."

Erestor sighed. "I see your point, but rest assured that you can always come to me, you know that, don't you? I can be your confidante if you can use me."

Now it was Elladan's turn to raise a brow. "You would do that for me?"

"Yes of course, penneth" Erestor said and squeezed Elladan's shoulder. "I will make some more tea. You are more than welcome to keep me company if you are not ready to retire."

"I..." Elladan said and looked at Erestor as if the other elf's face would reveal the very secrets of the universe. "I would like that," he finally whispered.

Erestor smiled once more. "It is settled then, young Elladan," he said and started to walk down towards the kitchen once more, followed by a dumbstruck Elladan.

---

Rohan

Legolas didn't know what to think when he saw the large room that Theodred walked into. He was led towards the large bed, and seated on a wooden chair with a large pelt thrown over it. "It's the first wolf I ever shot," Theodred said, smiling apologetically, just trying to make conversation. He sat at the fireplace and started to make a fire, giving Legolas a second to look at him. He most certainly did not look like those other men he had seen. He seemed softer in appearance, but still Legolas sensed that the young man was troubled, and apparently making a great effort not to show it. He wondered if he was worried about him or something else. But when Theodred turned around and said something to him, Legolas decided to trust this man. He really did not know why, for he had no reason to do so, but he still smiled and told Theodred with a sign that he really liked it here.

Theodred looked at the elf pointing at himself, rubbing his ear and then his cheek while smiling...what was this? He blinked confused and said "Ai, I wish I knew why you haven't spoken a word. Can it be that you are mute , my friend? Let the healer be the judge of that." He then walked off to find his new friend some clothing.

A knock on the door made Theodred stop his search for suitable clothes. The elf was a great deal smaller than him in frame. But as the door opened and the royal healer stepped inside together with Theoden, a smile appeared on the young prince's face. "Father," he said and came to stand next to the king. "The elf seems as fit as can be expected from his ordeal, but he has yet to utter a word."

Theoden looked over at the elf. "Where did you find him son?"

"Eomer found him," Theodred said and looked up at his father. "Eomer and

I," he corrected.

"Of course," Theoden sighed, "but where did you find this mute elf?"

"On the plains, running like a rabbit from something I do not know," Theodred said and sat down on the bed, feeling all the eyes in the room transfixed on him. "What I do know is that this something hurt him badly."

"Elves do not live on the plains," Theoden mumbled, "so he must have come from somewhere."

"I know father, but as he cannot speak, then not even one that can speak the tongue of the firstborn can help us," the young prince said and looked over at Legolas.

"Come my son, we can discuss this somewhere else, and leave the healer to his skill," the king said, and turned and swept out the door.

Theodred still looked at Legolas, and then smiled. "This is the healer; he will tend to your wounds," he said, but seeing the elf blink and just stare at him he decided to try another approach. He stood up and walked over to the healer, giving the old man a hug and then turned to Legolas once more. "See? He is a friendly man."

Legolas nodded and smiled at the healer. He didn't understand what this man was or why he was there, but the young man who had called himself mushroom apparently liked him. But when Theodred walked out the room, and left Legolas alone with the old man, he was not so sure anymore.

They flutter behind you your possible pasts
some bright-eyed and crazy some frightened and lost
a warning to anyone still in command
of their possible future to take care
in derelict sidings the poppies entwine
with cattle trucks lying in wait for the next time
Do you remember me? How we used to be?
Do you think we should be closer?
She stood in the doorway the ghost of a smile
haunting her face like a cheap hotel sign
her cold eyes imploring the men in their Macs
for the gold in their bags or the knives in their backs
stepping up boldly one put out his hand
He said, "I was just a child then now I'm only a man"
do you remember me? How we used to be?
do you think we should be closer?
by the cold and religious we were taken in hand
shown how to feel good and told to feel bad
tongue tied and terrified we learned how to pray
now our feelings run deep and cold as the clay
and strung out behind us the banners and flags
of our possible pasts lie in tatters and rags
do you remember me? How we used to be?
do you think we should be closer?
-- Pink Floyd - your possible pasts


Rohan

"I can't really see what is wrong," the old healer said to himself and pulled his beard deep in thought. He observed the elf who sat obediently on the bed, his discarded tunic beside him. "Elves don't get sick," the man grumbled and slowly moved to his large black bag full of remedies and odd smelling salves.

"There ain't nuttin wrong with your vocal cord, son," he said to his bag before turning around to the elf with a glass containing some herbs. "Methinks you refuse to speak," he whispered. The healer knew all to well that if he didn't find anything wrong with the elf, Theoden would find him incompetent, because something was clearly wrong. But if he stated as he believed, that the elf didn't speak out of sheer willpower, he would be ridiculed. He knew he'd better come up with a diagnosis, and quickly, and 'spoiled elfitis bratticus' would not look good on paper.

He looked at the elf and sighed. "All right, you need rest, son," he said and went back to his bag and searched for yet another glass jar and put it on the mantel. "I should leave you to your rest while I speak with Theoden." He made a gesture with his hand for the elf to lie down, but Legolas just blinked, looking stupid, until the healer came over and gently pushed him down in the bed. Legolas immediately curled up to a little ball, and the old man pulled the bed cover over him. The elf smiled thankfully and the man chuckled. "Now don't expect a story and a good night kiss, elf," and with that he left the room.

---

"Father," Theodred said trying to reason with the king, "we 'had' to help him, he was lost."

"But what I want to know," Theoden said and sat down on his throne, resting his head in his hand, "who were the ones after him, then?"

"I do not know," Theodred sighed and sat down on the top stair at his father's feet. "He was frightened out of his mind, father; they must have done terrible things to him."

"THINK son, for the sake of the gods!" the king yelled in a split-second of anger. "What if he wronged them?"

"I don't think so, father. You didn't see the state he was in when we stumbled across him," Theodred argued and looked pleadingly at his sire.

"You don't 'think' so?" Theoden sighed. "But you don't know for sure, now do you, son?"

Theodred sighed too, and lowered his gaze to the ground, counting little specks in the marble. "No, father." Silence fell between them for a while, until Theodred finally slumped his shoulders and whispered "He doesn't look like a wrong-doer to me, sire."

"Wrong-doers come in many shapes and forms," Theoden whispered back, and rested his hand on his son's hair, stroking it lovingly. "For what it's worth, I think you are right, that elf looks completely innocent, but that does not mean that he actually 'is' innocent."

Theodred looked up at his father "I know father, many have been deceived by innocent looks and sweet smiles."

"I am glad we see things the same way then," Theoden said with a smile.

Theodred, knowing better than to question his father's judgment, just rested his head against his father's knee saying, "What have you decided, father?"

"Theodred, I know you would like to protect this elf, and I can see why. He seems so fragile and vulnerable."

"..But..." Theodred said with a voice barely audible.

"He needs to be amongst his kin, my son," Theodred said and stopped petting the raven hair of his youngling. "I will write Elrond of Rivendell, and ask for someone to come and collect this stray elf."

"..But father" the prince objected, "he will not be able to make such a journey right now."

"Peace my son, they will not be here within the next moon."

"'If' they come at all," Theodred whispered more annoyed than intended.

"Now do not interfere with my decisions, young man," Theoden said with a stern voice. "This is final, now go and fetch me the healer, I wish to hear his verdict on your strange elf."

"Yes, father," Theodred sighed and slowly got up. He didn't understand why Theoden would just send the elf away. But there was little he could do once the king's mind was made up. He bowed respectfully to his father and ruler before he hastened out the hall to find the healer.

---

Rivendell

Night had fallen in Rivendell, and that made Elladan restless. He paced back and forth in his room, trying to figure out ways to find his little charge. He had to act fast or he was sure that the young elf would be eaten by wargs or something similarly awful.

A knock on the door.

A knock again.

And this time Elladan heard it. "Enter!" he snarled, wondering who would have the nerve to come visit him at this hour. Elrohir had been the only one to ever do that, and Elrohir was not here. It could of course be his father, coming for a father/son chat. Now this he didn't need at all, Elrond's worried gaze and carefully chosen words.

But to his surprise it was the dark advisor entering his chamber. "Erestor!" he said with surprise written all over his face. "What are 'you' doing here?!"

"I could hear you couldn't sleep," was the reply given.

"You could 'hear' that?" Elladan asked, getting an eerie feeling that the advisor knew all he had done.

"Yes," Erestor replied, "my chambers is underneath yours, and you stomp around like a raging bull."

"Oh!" Elladan gasped and blushed slightly. "I am sorry for keeping you up."

Erestor smiled an odd smile. "You didn't keep me up, sleep seems to elude me these days" (or this millennia, the elf thought dryly).

Elladan sat down like a sack of potatoes in a chair and managed a smile. "What did you want then?"

"Show you a trick," said Erestor.

"A trick?" Elladan repeated and raised a eye brow.

"Indeed," Erestor said. "Do you know why you can't sleep? I do." He sat down on the bed and smiled a warm and reassuring smile towards the rapid paling youngster. "You listen."

"Listen?" Elladan whispered, not really believing this was happening. It all seemed so surreal.

"Yes, you listen to the wind, the chickadees, other elves talking in another room," the advisor said. His voice dropped to a whisper, "and then to your own heartbeat, that little nagging voice in your head, or thinking about all that you didn't get done today that you need to do tomorrow."

Elladan nodded, this was all true.

"What you need to do," Erestor whispered, leaning forward towards Elladan, the flames orange dim light playing on his features leaving his eyes in pitch darkness. He looked like something out of a scary old fairy tale. "What you need to do is to hear nothing, see nothing and think nothing." The advisor smiled broodingly. "You need to find your special place."

Elladan nodded but didn't understand.

"All you need to do, is to lie down on the floor, close your eyes, and I will guide you."

Elladan's mouth formed an 'o' but no sound came out.

Seeing Elladan's surprise and slight discomfort, Erestor quickly added "Do not worry Elladan, it is nothing improper."

Elladan smiled a strange smile which Erestor was not able to read, but lay down on the floor as directed and closed his eyes.

"Remember penneth, nothing is out to harm you, everything is just there for you, and only for you," the voice said, the voice that was Erestor. And while Erestor began to speak, Elladan relaxed and had a feeling he was sinking through the floor, and once out on the other side he was in a world of his own. Pictures of vast gardens and large ancient trees flashed before him as he walked down a little path in his mind, letting Erestor's voice guide his way.

He found himself in a little cottage in the woods. This is my special place? Elladan thought to himself. It was not very flattering, I had thought something more... uhm... dashing? Extravagant?

"Shhhhhhhh," a voice said. Elladan spun around and saw no one. He was confused - it was not Erestor's voice, for he could still hear the advisor chanting in the background. This was someone else. Elladan felt as though the hair rose on his neck, feeling an icing cold rush down his spine and back up in his brain. "Who's there?" he whispered but only received a deep rumbling chuckle.

Erestor saw the young elf stir and look troubled. He quickly took Elladan's left hand and with his free hand he rubbed soothing little circles over the half-elf's forehead. "Hush now, Elladan, remember nothing is there to hurt you, everything there is for your pleasure alone," he whispered. Elladan seemed to relax, and so Erestor continued.

I've got a little black book with my poems in.
Got a bag with a toothbrush and a comb in.
When I'm a good dog, they sometimes throw me a bone in.

I got elastic bands keepin' my shoes on.
Got those swollen hand blues.
Got thirteen channels of shit on the T.V. to choose from.
I've got electric light.
And I've got second sight.
And amazing powers of observation.
And that is how I know
When I try to get through
On the telephone to you
There'll be nobody home.

I've got the obligatory Hendrix perm.
And the inevitable pinhole burns
All down the front of my favourite satin shirt.
I've got nicotine stains on my fingers.
I've got a silver spoon on a chain.
I've got a grand piano to prop up my mortal remains.

I've got wild staring eyes.
And I've got a strong urge to fly.
But I got nowhere to fly to.
when I pick up the phone

There is still nobody home.
--Pink Floyd - nobody home


Mirkwood
(2 months later)

Crying... Elrohir wondered when he would run out of tears, there had to be a limit as to how much liquid the glands in your head could produce, But apparently not.

He looked out at the pale dawn, knowing that today he would ride, and this was the last morning he would spend in Mirkwood for quite some time, perhaps forever if Dinalu didn't change his mind. He admitted that it had been a tasteless remark he had made in a second of anger, but Dinalu was like a closed book. And simply refused to talk to his husband. In his frustration, Elrohir had even gone to Thranduil to seek advise, but the Mirkwood king had just shaken his head sadly and said that he would gladly assist in any was he could, but he was not able to change his son's heart.

How had it come to this? Which wrong path had he taken? Had it been wrong to fall in love with Dinalu in the first place? Or had it been wrong to make an oath with his twin? Or... he just couldn't straighten out his web of thoughts. None of it seemed like it had been the wrong thing to do. Yet now when he sat here in the dimly lit room, looking at his already packed saddle bag, he felt like he had led hi self astray somewhere. How could he stay by the side of a person who loathed his twin? That was impossible. But how could he sacrifice all that was him and Dinalu on this, some childish vow. He shook his head. Things just had to work out. He just hoped that Dinalu understood that he would not be leaving forever. He would write him a letter once he arrived home.

Elrohir's musings were disturbed by a knock on the door. He blinked confusedly - who would pay him a visit at this hour? The household was asleep; only a few servants would be awake at this hour. "Enter," he called, secretly hoping it was Dinalu who couldn't resist coming to see him off on his trip. But the elf who entered was one he had never seen before in his life, and his smile faded. "What do you want?" he said.

"I come with a urgent message from Rivendell to prince Elrohir, and if I am not mistaken, that would be you," the messenger said.

"Yes, that would be me," Elrohir said venomously, not liking the tone of the servant one bit. "Hand me the letter and then be gone."

"As you wish," the servant said and dropped the scroll on the floor. "Oh, forgive me, prince Elrohir, it seems it has fallen from my hands - how clumsy of me."

Elrohir shook his head, feeling miserable. Even the staff here thought that he was being unjust to their throne heir, and most of them had had second thoughts about their prince getting involved with a half elf, and even worse a male that would produce no children. They hated him, and he knew it. There was really no point in getting angered, so he just waved his hand at the servant. "Leave me," he said softly.

The servant left, but not without closing the door harder than necessary. This was all because they loved their prince, and they blamed Elrohir for making him miserable. Elrohir sighed and rose from the bed and picked up the scroll. It had his father's seal on it. At least they hadn't read his letter, he thought to himself. He sat down once more and broke the seal, and at the first sight at his father's handwriting he felt like he would cry once more. Right now he didn't feel like a warrior destined for greatness, or the son of a lord. He felt like an elfling who wanted his father to soothe him and tell him everything would be all right. He ran a hand through his hair and started to read the letter.

He rolled the scroll up once more. Rohan? His father wanted him to go to Rohan? He shook his head. He wondered who this strange elf was that his father spoke of. Perhaps it was an ancient soul sent back from Mandos, like Glorfindel. But there was only one way to figure that out. He looked out at the sun once more. It had risen more and it was bright dawn. He should delay his departure no more, and with that he rose to his feet, picking up the saddle bag containing his belongings. Should he go to Dinalu before he left? He sighed and pushed open the door to the corridor. No, he should leave him alone, that was what he had wanted, and since Dinalu had not wished to see him last night and had not come to his chambers, it was pretty safe to say that he felt unwelcome in his husband's chambers right now.

He walked down to the stables and quickly found his own horse. He patted it on the nose and smiled. "Ready, my friend?" he whispered and the horse just let out a snort. "You just wait, my friend, we are going to the land of horses, and you might find that you enjoy yourself there."

A rustle behind him made Elrohir turn around and look directly at the king. His eyes widened. "Your Majesty!"

Thranduil smiled at Elrohir and casually leaned against the stable wall. "I thought that I would come and bid you a safe journey," since no one else is doing it he thought to himself, but had not the heart to utter those words.

Elrohir bowed slightly for the Mirkwood king and then looked up again with a smile. "Thank you, your majesty." He took a leather cord from the saddlebag and started to make a loose braid, tying it all together with the cord, much to Thranduil's amusement.

---

After some time with silence Thranduil suddenly spoke with a soft voice. "You should send him a letter once you return home, young Elrohir."

Elrohir was throwing the saddlebag over the horse when he heard those words. "Yes, your majesty," he said and patted the horse on the side of the neck. "But I am on my way to Rohan, my fathers orders," he added with a dull tone.

"Rohan you say?" Thranduil said softly. "I am sure they have messengers in Rohan too."

"Oh yes, your majesty," Elrohir said quickly and blushed lightly. "I didn't mean to imply that..."

Thranduil cut him off with a wave of his hand. "Peace, young Elrohir, I just assumed you would be returning home to your brother."

"I was, your majesty, but my father sent me a message sending me to Rohan on the way. I will send for Elladan, once there." He said and absentmindedly fiddled with the horse's mane.

Thranduil took a step towards the horse and half-elf. "Elrohir, may the Valar keep you safe on your journey, and please send your father a greeting from me."

Elrohir smiled at the king and softly replied "I will, and thank you, your majesty. "He took a deep breath before he mounted the horse. "W-would you...tell Dinalu I will return?"

"Aye," Thranduil said and stepped away so Elrohir could ride out from the stall.

"I should go now, thank you for coming your majesty, Thranduil," Elrohir said and spurred his horse to walk slowly out the stall. Thranduil just nodded and gave Elrohir one last sorrowful gaze. He knew what was causing the young elf to linger, and what it was he was looking for behind his back, but he also knew that Dinalu would not come, and so did Elrohir - he had just hoped he was wrong. Thranduil understood the disappointed self-loathing look in Elrohir's eyes all too well.

---

Rivendell

Elrond was looking at Elrohir's letter. They had to have crossed messages halfway, but just as Elrond had ordered Elrohir to Rohan, his son had apparently thought of stopping there on his way. He looked up at the painting of the children's mother. How he wished she were here now. This letter was full of heartbreak. If only she had been here to console her children, and himself too. He massaged his temples deciding that he could not do more for Elrohir right now, but would send a letter to king Theoden and tell him that aid was on its way.

"Father?" a voice said behind him. He turned around and the sight that met his eyes made all blood disappear from his face. "Oh dear Elladan!" he exclaimed and rose from his chair.

"I just thought he would like to have it," Elladan said sweetly and held out his hair, neatly braided with red ribbons, but to Elrond's confusion not attached to his son's head.

"Your hair... " Elrond whispered and looked from the offending braid to Elladan's face. "Elladan... What were you thinking?"

"But father, I thought he would like to have some of me to keep him company if he misses me," Elladan stated. "And he does, you know, I can feel it."

"I know he does, my dear child.. but that doesn't mean that you had to maim yourself," Elrond said letting his arms fall to his sides, just looking at his eldest son in amazement and fear.

"I didn't maim myself father, if I had cut off my arm it would be different. This is but hair," Elladan said and gently deposited the braid on Elrond's large desk.

"But you have been growing that since birth!" Elrond whispered, wide eyed.

"About high time I had a hair cut then," Elladan stated.

"Elladan," Elrond groaned and sat down once more. "What did you expect me to do with this?" He pointed at the braid.

"To send it to Elrohir of course."

"I can't do that Elladan. He would die from a heart attack," Elrond said.

"Yes you can and you will," Elladan suddenly roared.

Elrond looked up at his son, who was visibly confused. "No Elladan, I simply refuse."

"Fine," Elladan hissed and took the little knife Elrond used to pry open seals from the desk and raised it to his ear. "What about this? Would you send this to him?"

Confused? Insane was more the word, Elrond thought to himself. How could this have eluded him for so long? "Elladan.. No!" he yelled, but to no avail. The young elf slid the paper knife down into the flesh, and streams of red blood trickled down his face.

---

"The hair just wasn't enough, now was it?" Elladan yelled.

Elrond quickly got to his feet, and rushed over to Elladan and much to the young elf's surprise he punched him.

With Elladan unconscious on the floor, Elrond quickly picked him up and carried him out of the room, making for the healing wing. He had to sew on the ear back on that now dangled strangely from a flap of skin, bleeding ferociously. And then he would have to find a way discover the source of Elladan's strange behavior.

---

Rohan

Eomer had wanted to return back as soon as possible, he was greatly curious as to what had happened to the elf. Had Theodred gotten him to finally say who had hurt him thus? And now on his walk from the stables to the throne hall, he couldn't help but wonder if Theoden had perhaps sent the elf on his way. It was no secret that the king, no matter how just and wise, did not like the Firstborn . Eomer had always thought it was due to jealousy, as the elves stayed young and healthy. Theoden himself was beginning to look like an old man.

"Eomer!" he heard a voice yell from the other end of the corridor. He would recognize that voice anywhere.

"Theodred, you made it here safely!" he said and turned towards the other young man who ran towards him.

"I did," Theodred said with a smile. "And so did you, I see." He embraced his cousin in a warm hug.

"What about the elf?" Eomer wondered. "Is he still here?"

"Yes" Theodred said and dragged Eomer with him. "He is right here in my chambers. Come see - he has made remarkable progress."

Eomer laughed and followed Theodred. "I should stand before the king first, before making social visits."

"It will be quick," Theodred said with a boyish grin.

The warrior did not miss hearing the hidden remark, and chuckled with delight. "With you... always."

Theodred raised a brow. "Is that a fact?"

"Oh Theodred, don't be such a spoilsport, show me the elf," Eomer sighed with a smile.

"Yes, the elf," Theodred repeated and continued to drag Eomer, until they were at his chamber door. "Don't move too fast, he might get startled."

Eomer just nodded and moved slowly into the room where Legolas sat working on a drawing of his.

"Ferret?" Theodred said softly and Legolas looked up, flashing a smile at the man. "I brought a friend with me."

"Ferret?" Eomer looked at Theodred for a second and then suddenly roared with laughter. "That is the most stupid thing I ever heard... Theodred, honestly... ferret."

"Well he looked like one, and he is not objecting," Theodred answered with a pout.

Eomer just shook his head in amusement and smiled at the elf. "Hello there, little one."

"You oaf! He doesn't understand what you are saying. He is an elf, and thus he speak elvish," Theodred said and delivered a slight slap to Eomer's shoulder.

Eomer blushed slightly. "I guess you are right."

"Eomer," Theodred said and pointed at his friend.

Legolas just nodded and looked at the man, not understanding what it was all about, but he could sense that they were friends, so he was not the least alarmed when the man with the golden curly hair came and stood beside him, looking at his drawing.

"It's amazing," Eomer said. "Have you seen this, Theodred?"

Legolas looked at the man with the golden hair. His body language told him he was pleased with the drawing, and so he lifted it from the table and offered it to the man. For a second he thought he had been wrong when the man looked so baffled, but when he then took the drawing, Legolas nodded eagerly pushing the paper closer to Eomer

"He gave me his drawing! Eomer said.

"I guess he likes you!" Theodred said.

"I wonder who this elf is," Eomer mumbled and looked at the drawing. "But it certainly is a pretty drawing." He folded the drawing with the handsome dark-haired elf and smiled to Legolas gently running a hand over the soft hair. "Thank you, little one" he said. "Maybe someday you can tell me who this is"

AN: I had some betaing trouble here, and its not that I am not grateful that Lost Fantasy would beta for me, now that poor Lisbet got sick. But I just grew impatient. So this is not betaed, I hope it's readable anyways.

And you treated my woman to a flake of your life
And when she came back she was nobody's wife.

Well I see you there with the rose in your teeth
One more thin gypsy thief
Well I see Jane's awake --

She sends her regards.

And what can I tell you my brother, my killer
What can I possibly say?
I guess that I miss you, I guess I forgive you
I'm glad you stood in my way.

If you ever come by here, for Jane or for me
Your enemy is sleeping, and his woman is free.

Yes, and thanks, for the trouble you took from her eyes
I thought it was there for good so I never tried.
-- L. Cohen – Famous blue coat


Rohan
(Three weeks later)

Finally. Rohan. Elrohir smiled to himself, just as hard as it been to ride out that main road of Mirkwood, every second hoping that Dinalu would show. Every rustle in the leaves making him turn in the saddle hopefully looking back, but no one came. But just as much did he rejoice to finally see Meduseld, just as much did he miss his husband, and wished he had been here by his side. "See horse, we made it" he sighed bitterly

He continued down hill to meet up with the guards at the watchtower. He shielded his eyes from the sun with his hand "greetings good men of Rohan"

One guard crawled down the latter from the tower, and stood before Elrohir "state your name and business stranger"

"I am Elrohir of Rivendell, I come here by the bidding of Theoden king" Elrohir said and smiled

"a elf huh?" the guard said and looked up and down Elrohir

Elrohir stayed silent, but wondered if the idiot had expected a badger with a pointy hat. Or perhaps not many elves travelled through here. Just smiling as if stating the obvious.

The man looked at Elrohir, not seeing any reason he should not believe him "very well, follow me"

"Thank you" Elrohir said and followed the guard inside the city walls, and after he had stabled the horse, and handing over his sword to the guard outside the royal hall, he finally stepped inside the king's halls. Elrohir sighed; he hoped he would not disappoint his father. He was apparently the master of disappointing everyone else these days. But diplomacy was something you could get taught out of a textbook, love was not.

The guards opened the large wooden doors, and Elrohir spotted the king on his throne at the other end. He took a deep breath and started to walk inside and towards the ruler of this realm.

Theodred looked at the elf from the shadows in his father's hall. He was magnificent as he strode forth up through the pillars and benches, dressed in black, long riding boots and a cloak that moves lazily behind the elf, as had it a life of its own. Theodred peeked out further as the elf came to a halt in front of Theoden. The dark clad elf pushed back his hood with a slender hand and revealed long dark brown hair, braided in one long loose braid

"Theoden King" Elrohir said with a pleasant smile and bowed for the man at the throne "I am Elrohir, son of Elrond of Rivendell" he paused and looked up at the king once more "you asked for aid, and my sire sent me to take care of what ever the problem should be"

Theoden looked at the elf, a smile threatened to surface, but he continued as the king he was "well met Lord Elrohir" he said and made a gesture for Elrohir to stand tall once more "I asked Lord Elrond to send someone, to come collect a stray of your kin. For he has no language, but that he should send his own son is most unexpected"

"My father told me of the mysterious elf" Elrohir said

Oh no! Theodred thought to himself, the dark elf had come to kill Ferret! He had better hide him or.. or.. He turned from the throne room, making for his own chambers.

"You should speak with my son" Theoden said and waved a servant to his side, "fetch prince Theodred and the parcel from my desk" the servant nodded and disappeared quickly. Theoden looked at Elrohir "your father send a letter for you upon your arrival"

Elrohir nodded, wanting to shake the king ferociously. Why was it that rulers had this tedious habit of being slow and boring? Now he knows why he had run and hid from diplomacy lessons.

The servant returned with the parcel and handed it to Theoden "where is Theodred?" the king asked

"He said he would be here shortly," the servant said, "forgive me my king, but he would not listen when I asked him to follow immediately"

Theoden sighed "forgive my unruly son" as Elrohir just nodded with a odd smile, Theodred decided to continue "I am sure it was a long ride young lord Elrohir, if you wish I can have someone show you your guest chambers, and then have my son pay you a visit later or first thing tomorrow"

"Yes thank you king Theoden" Elrohir said with a smile.. Everything to get out from here, he thought to him self.

---

Rivendell

Evening, it would soon be evening.. Elladan felt a smile spread on his face. Tonight he would go visit his special place once more. He looked at the sun, two hours and then he would go to Erestor's chambers. Two hours? Did he really want to wait that long?

Elladan sat down on his bed, and wondered if he would be able to do it himself, to find that wonderful peaceful place, and him - the young elf smile broadened and a weak blush crept to his face, he endured the day because he knew what waited for him. Never had he had a friend like the elf from his special place. Elladan flopped down on his bed and let out a blissful sound, Irmó. His name alone was a little prayer. He could see his long silver hair swaying as were it one with the wind or smoke. He saw Irmo stand there at the cabin in the green forest, he was fishing lazily in a pond, and Elladan raised a brow. There had never been a pond next to the cabin?

"Now there is," Irmo said with a grin.

"Irmo? But I am not here, I mean..." Elladan stuttered

"Who said you are not here? Its lovely you would join me young Elladan, I was quite bored" Irmo said and pressed the fishing rod down in the ground, walking over to Elladan who was clearly confused

"But.." Elladan whispered

"Elladan" Irmo whispered "you finally master to visit me on your own, you no longer need Erestor to guide you past the shadows to visit my garden"

"No longer Erestor?" the young elf felt absolutely ridiculous

"Do this feel like a dream?" Irmo said softly and caressed Elladan's cheek

"No" Elladan admitted feeling a little tinkle in his skin

"What about this?" the Valar whispered and placed a soft kiss to the half elfs lips.

"It feels real" Elladan said with a smile

"Then why don't you think you are here penneth?" Irmo stated a-matter-of– factly.

---

Rohan

Eomer had been sent to the new elfs chambers, all the servants had not been able to find Theodred or the mysterious elf anywhere. oh great! Eomer thought to himself with a frown, now its my job to exchange polite phrases with some stuck up elf.

Elrohir had read the parcel from his father, asking him to stay there until he had some solution, or he was called home. He had sat down to write a letter back to his father and Elladan. Telling them he missed them allot and wondered about the purpose about him staying here, asking for Elladan to join him. But he only got halfway before he heard a knock on the door. "Enter" he said flatly looking at the door, expecting some little human brat to tumble in the door. But what he saw took him by surprise. It was a man all right. But he was not a little brat, a fair young warrior as far as Elrohir could tell.

"Lord Elrohir?" Eomer said bowing slightly

"Oh no need to bow my friend, and yes I am the one you seek" he said with a dazzling smile as he rose from his chair

"I am Eomer, I found the elf together with the prince" Eomer said closing the door

"Yes, the elf" Elrohir said thoughtfully "what is the story on him, pray tell Eomer"

"We found him running the plains in the middle of the night milord" Eomer said shuffling his feet

Elrohir smiled again and gestured towards a chair "sit Eomer" and watching Eomer moving towards the chair "and call me Elrohir please" he added as he joined the man

"Yes.. uhm.. Elrohir" Eomer said, as were he tasting the name

"Then?... tell me more Eomer" the elf said and rested his chin on his fingertips, as his father so often did. "Running you say?"

"Yes running" Eomer answered smiling goofy, drinking in the sight of the young elf lord, he was a vision of a river of brown hair and black leather, absolutely irresistible

"Do you know from whom?" Elrohir said studying the man intensely, tying to determine how old he was.

"No" Eomer admitted "but.. They had to be humanoid"

Elrohir noticed that the man shifted in his chair, starting to squirm his hands, clearly feeling uncomfortable "why would you say that?" he whispered and leaned closer to the man

"Because of his.." Eomer paused and tried to find the proper word "injuries" the elf just sat still, close. Too close Eomer thought, the elf was just watching him with those large slanted dark grey eyes, he took a deep breath and met Elrohir's wondering gaze "they had forced them selves upon him" Eomer whispered looking away from the elf once more

Elrohir opened his eyes wide in shock "what?!" he gasped "you mean they?..." his voice failed him and Eomer cleared his throat before he answered "he was raped" he breathed

"A-are you sure?" Elrohir stumbled across the words, running his hand though his hair in a distraught move.

"I am sure" Eomer said and straightened up some "I may not be a healer, or well known in the world of herbs and plant lore. But I know enough to stop a bleeding from a fellow soldier in dire times" he looked at Elrohir that still slightly shook his head as if he found what he heard impossible to believe "and I searched his body for wounds when he had gotten him back to the encampment"

Elrohir looked up while he was pinching his nose, trying to prevail the upcoming headache "how can you be so sure he was not a willing participant? As my fathers assistant I have seen some individuals with pretty severe damage from frolic games gone wrong"

"He was badly beaten, and terribly torn milord" Eomer said darkly

"Ai" Elrohir sighed and bit his lip "I would have to speak with him"

"I am afraid that is impossible" Eomer answered with a badly hidden smirk "for one, he is disappeared together with Prince Theodred, second he have not uttered one word for as long as he has been here, the healer say he is mute"

"Mute? That is ridiculous. I have never heard of a mute elf"

"I am pretty sure you never heard of a elf called Ferret either" Eomer chuckled

"No I cant say I have" Elrohir laughed

For several minutes there was a awkward silence between them, the situation just seemed so absurd and terrifying that they both felt the urge to laugh and cry at the same time. Elrohir suddenly realized that it had been such a long time since he had laughed, something in his chest convulsed. How he missed Dinalu.

"Impressive sword" Eomer suddenly said, shaking Elrohir from his melancholy musings.

"Excuse me?" Elrohir blinked confused

"Your sword" Eomer repeated and pointed towards the slender elven sword resting against the wall, where it had been standing since it had been returned to him "it is beautiful, just as fair as its wielder"

Elrohir laughed "thank you Eomer"

Eomer smiled and blushed slightly, the man sat in thought for a while before he looked up at Elrohir "we could spar some time, I would be greatly honoured milord" he said to test grounds

"Elrohir, my name is Elrohir" the half-elf said and looked at the man, but found himself unable to resist that hopeful stare "yes, a sparring match sounds like fun Eomer"

"Wonderful" Eomer said with a smile

Elrohir raised a brow, but couldn't help but to flash a giddy smile are you flirting with me Eomer? he thought to himself, but just stood up. "I am afraid I have to bid you a good night young Eomer, we have a long day ahead tomorrow"

Eomer rose and nodded "yes milord" he said and the smile faded

How cold-hearted can you be Elrohir? The elf thought and opened the door, turning towards the man "I wont forget our sparring match Eomer"

"Good" Eomer said as the smile returned some "sleep tight" he mumbled as he hurried past Elrohir, turning to cast the enchanting being one last glance before the door closed.

---

Rivendell

"Elladan?"

"ELLADAN!" Erestor yelled, feeling himself pale as he started to shake the frame of the lifeless elf. "Wake up for the sake of all that is holy.. Wake up penneth" he heard his voice rise to hysteria when the elder son of Elrond didn't respond. aii Elrond will have my hide he thought, and continued to shake the young half-elf. "Elladan please" he pleaded as he stopped his actions and just started to stroke Elladan's brow.

Elladan's eyes fluttered open, quickly focusing on the blurry image in front of him "F-Father?"

"Nay it is I Erestor" the advisor whispered, his voice hoarse from yelling

"Oh Erestor" Elladan whispered "I had the most wonderful time tonight"

"You gave me quite the scare penneth" Erestor said and gave Elladan his famous pissy face

The prince of Rivendell sat up and smiled brightly "he was so happy to see me" he said dreamily "and you know what Erestor? He said he would be my brother, and my lover in one"

"Elladan, please you are speaking nonsense" Erestor whispered and watched Elladan with his mouth wide open "you are just a little confused"

"Confused, on contraire dear Erestor. I have never been so collected in my life" he grabbed Erestor's face between his hands, leaning in and gave the baffled advisor a kiss on the nose "he said he loved me, he really did"

"Who?"

"Irmo silly" Elladan laughed "he took me to see the bottom of the lake, and then he showed me where the grass was the softest and laid me down to dry my skin.. ai Erestor he is so tender" the prince looked up at Erestor with a goofy smile "when we made love, he said he would never leave me.. He would always stay"

"Oh Elladan" Erestor sighed and drew the elf in for a hug "what have I done?" he whispered to himself.

I never said I was tough
That was everyone else
So you're a fool to attack me
For the image that you built yourself

Just sounds more vicious
Than I actually mean
I really am soft
Yes, I'm tender and sweet

Why must you always be around?
Why can't you just leave it be?
You've done nothing so far but destroy my life
--Sinead O'Connor - You Cause as Much Sorrow


Rohan


It had been fun, this Elrohir had to admit. Eomer had proven to be pleasant company, and the sparring had been much more entertaining than he had thought. He took the water hide and gulped down half of it, before he turned to Eomer and handed him the hide. "Thirsty?" he grinned.

Eomer smiled and took the hide. After drinking the rest, he gave Elrohir a smile. "Ready for one more, milord?"

"El-ro-hir!" Elrohir said with an annoyed voice.

Eomer just laughed. "All right, prince Elrohir, are you ready for one more round?"

Elrohir just nodded, and smiled before he tugged his tunic over his head. It was a warm summer day, and he had to admit that this was more exercise than he had gotten in years. He glanced at Eomer, and smiled once more, suddenly getting nervous under the man's gaze. Why was he watching him like that?

The man tried his hardest not to look, but it was impossible. The elf was the image of perfection in Eomer's eyes. The smooth chest with the rippling muscles that indicated the strength of a warrior. Suddenly he became aware that Elrohir had noticed him ogling him, and a weak blush crept to his cheeks. He quickly turned around and discarded his own tunic before he grabbed his sword once more. "Ready?" he said.

Elrohir nodded, still puzzled by the man's behaviour. Could he be right? Had he noticed a spark in the brown eyes? He hoped not, he just hoped that his mind was playing tricks on him.

The sparring ended and Eomer picked up his belongings, walking towards Elrohir. "Thank you, prince Elrohir, it has been a long time since anybody won over me."

Elrohir just laughed "it was my pleasure, Eomer."

Silence settled, and Elrohir decided that now was a good time to leave, so he picked up his tunic and pulling it over his head once more.

"How long will you stay?" Eomer mumbled, suddenly feeling awfully nervous.

"What?" Elrohir turned around and looked at the man. "You mean how long will I stay here in Rohan?"

Eomer nodded.

"Until my father calls me home," Elrohir answered. looking at the man who now was fiddling the knob on the hilt of his sword nervously. "Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering... " Eomer looked up at the elf. "I am leaving for patrols again at dawn, and.." he trailed off. Elrohir offered no help; he just stood there and stared at the man "it might be a rude question, but would you perhaps join me later this evening?"

Elrohir's eyes widened at this request. He hadn't just heard what he thought he had heard! This was terrible, he hadn't done anything to make Eomer believe that he would have any lovers interest in him.

"Just for some hot wine," Eomer quickly added, seeing Elrohir's mortified expression.

What was he supposed to say? And the nervous pleading look the man had... the elf nodded slowly. "Yes, I accept your offer," he said in a slightly strained voice. He really didn't want to, but in the name of diplomacy he'd better do it

"Wonderful," Eomer said and smiled. "Thank you, prince Elrohir."

"You are welcome," Elrohir mumbled and picked up his sword. "Now please excuse me, I must go and see the king."

Eomer nodded and watched the elf walk away.

---

Elrohir walked down the corridor towards his chambers. What was he doing

here? The mysterious elf was nowhere to be found, and without the subject in matter he couldn't really do much other than to pretend this was some holiday.

He was about to enter his guest chambers when he noticed some movement out of the corner of his eye. He put down his sword and tiptoed to the corner of the corridor. He heard no noise, but saw a figure sitting in the shadows, and if he wasn't greatly mistaken this was the elf!

He composed himself and walked slowly towards the elf in the shadows. "Greetings," he said in elvish, but the form did not answer him. He just turned his head and stared.

Elrohir got a little alarmed and lowered himself onto his knees, looking the elf in the eyes. "I said greetings, little one," he continued, smiling at the baffled expression on the young elf's face. The silence was disturbing, but when the elf suddenly gestured with his hands before he flung himself around Elrohir's neck, his confusion was complete. "What the..." he mumbled but couldn't do much but return the embrace. He was about to ask Legolas something when he heard a large crash on the floor behind him. He spun around to see who it was that was sneaking up on him. What he met was a pair of angry green eyes.

"Let him go!" Theodred hissed.

"You must be the prince," Elrohir started to say, but was disturbed when Theodred frowned more deeply. "I am Elrohir," he continued.

"I care not who you are stranger, but you are not going to inflict the elf any harm!" the young man sneered.

"Harm?" Elrohir said looking absolutely baffled. "Why would I harm him?"

Now it was Theodred's turn to look confused. "B-but I thought that..."

Elrohir couldn't help but let out a little relived laughter. "No, prince Theodred, I won't hurt the elf. I am only here to find out his identity so he can be returned to his family."

"Oh," Theodred sighed, but if it was out of relief that this raven-haired elf from the valley would not harm his Ferret, or if it was out of disappointment to see the little golden elf go, he didn't know.

"Now Theodred, let us all go somewhere private and you can tell me what you know about this elf," Elrohir offered.

Theodred nodded and led the way.

This was most strange. The sign language that the elf had used was one that only one other person in the world would understand. But it made perfect sense in a strange and twisted way... he thought I was Elladan, that is why he hugged me, but why and how had this elf learned the sign language that was theirs?

oh Elladan, I hope you didn't do something terribly wrong

---

The sun set, sending lazy red rays over the sky, and to Elrohir's frustration he hadn't learned much about the elusive elfling, and with Theodred there he really didn't want to ask too many personal questions, and for some reason Elladan kept haunting his mind. If Elrohir was correct in his suspicions, then his beloved brother had done something terribly wrong. But for now he wanted to keep this to himself. Theodred had stopped talking about what he knew of the elf, and Elrohir sighed. This didn't get him any closer to the truth. "I will have to speak with him," he said.

Theodred looked confused.

Elrohir let out a chuckle. "These moves with his hands are not random, they

all mean something, a word or a feeling." He turned and looked out the window. He didn't have much time before he had promised to meet up with Eomer, so he turned to Legolas and smiled, speaking softly in elvish. "I am going to ask you some questions now, little one."

Legolas nodded and looked at Theodred.

Elrohir continued to speak to Legolas. "I speak his language as well. He is a kind man, and speaks very fondly of you." He smiled at the elf's subtle blush, and continued. "I need to know your name, my friend"

Legolas blinked rapidly, as if he was trying to understand what the elf had said, his name - why on the face of Arda would Elladan ask him this?

Elrohir noticed the confusion, and smiled. "I am not Elladan," he shook his head. "I am Elrohir, his twin brother."

"Elrohir?" Legolas gestured. "I know of you."

Elrohir just nodded but his blood froze to streams of ice. "Well then, do you remember your name?"

Legolas shook his head. "I am little rabbit."

Elrohir resisted the urge to laugh, and just smiled an amused smile. What was this with ferrets and rabbits? At least he wasn't called bullfrog or something similarly delightful.

"I have come to return you to your rightful home," Elrohir said, and with a slightly disturbed expression noticed the other elf's gaze wander to the man.

"What is he saying?" Theodred asked.

"That his name is little rabbit, as far as he remembers," Elrohir said.

"Oh," Theodred sulked. "I liked Ferret."

"What is wrong?" Legolas gestured.

"He called you Ferret, little one - and he liked that name better than little rabbit," Elrohir said, looking at Legolas.

"Fer-ret?"

"Yes those little animals that look like a hermelin or an otter," Elrohir said.

Legolas shook his head, but then looked thoughtful and added, "I like fer-ret."

"I will tell him that, and now I really have to go." He patted the young elf's head. "I will be back tomorrow."

Legolas smiled. "Good-bye, Elrohir."

Instead of answering, Elrohir used the same sign for good-bye and added Ferret. He then turned to Theodred, who looked awfully nervous. How cute, this protectiveness. "I will be back tomorrow, Prince Theodred," he said and then added, "He liked the name Ferret." He couldn't resist winking at the confused man as he left.

Theodred stood up and sat down next to the elf. "Ferret," he said with a smile, resisting the urge to wrap a arm around the fair elf. "I'm glad you liked my name, who wants to be named after a scared little fur ball after all?"

Legolas just smiled and yawned.

---

Eomer had been fetching the warm wine, and now he was lighting the last of the candles. He was quite proud of his work. His chamber looked all nice and cozy. Eomer blew out the little stick of wood he had used to light the candles. Now all that was missing was Elrohir. Eomer knew he had been bold, and usually he would never ever do such a thing as he had done that afternoon - but then again it was not often he met handsome elven princes, and Elrohir was a mighty fine specimen. Honestly Eomer had never seen anything that beautiful, but he had to be careful, he could sense that.

He was torn from his musing when a light knock echoed in the room. "Enter," he called out.

"Good evening, Eomer," Elrohir said and nodded towards the man, looking around the room. "You did not have to go through any trouble... just to..."

Elrohir's words died on his lips. Oh, he knew what game this man played. And now that he had agreed to come here, he would just have to get through the evening as quickly as possible, and retreat.

"Prince Elrohir," Eomer said and gestured towards a chair. "It was no trouble. Come. Sit."

Elrohir counted to ten and walked over the chair, smiling courteously when the man handed him his wine. "I communicated with Ferret today," he said, trying to strike up casual conversation.

Eomer sat down opposite the elf, and smiled while he reached for his own glass, while he frantically tried to remember the proper etiquette for addressing an elf. Especially one who wasn't just an elf, but also a prince.. and not just addressing him. Thinking about how to woo him was far worse.

The night crept up on the couple sitting in Eomer's chamber, and the wine tasted sweeter and sweeter, while the conversation grew more and more intimate. Elrohir knew he should have left, but yet he hadn't, and for this he had no explanation.

"Prince Elrohir?" Eomer suddenly asked with a strange seriousness.

"Yes," he answered, taking a sip of the wine.

"I bet you broke some hearts in Rivendell!"

What a strange question Elrohir thought, but just raised a brow. "No, not in Rivendell, as far as I know."

"No?" Eomer said with a big smile. "I have a hard time understanding why every living creature doesn't loose their hearts to the likes of you, prince Elrohir."

Now it was becoming dangerous, and Elrohir knew it. "Such big words," he just whispered.

"But true," Eomer said while he almost imperceptibly inched a bit closer.

He had to get out of here! Elrohir's mind tried desperately to find some excuse to just get up and leave. "I should leave," he croaked.

"Why so soon?" Eomer cooed and boldly ran a hand over Elrohir's arm.

"Because..." but before he had time to say more, he suddenly had Eomer's lips on his. He didn't want this... did he? He should protest, but instead he complied with the man's request, completely melting into the sweet kiss. Cold hands grabbed his heart. This just reminded him of his own loneliness. It was tempting to just give in. But when the lips were removed and the wet softness was gone, the spell was broken. And the elf blinked rapidly as if to regain his sanity.

"That was wonderful," Eomer whispered.

"I... I... I am t-tired," Elrohir whispered hoarsely. "I m-must retire," he scrambled backwards, away from the man. "I bid you a good night, Eomer," he said hastily, falling over his own words as he almost backed out of the door, knocking over the bottle of wine on his way. Leaving a very confused Eomer behind.

Once in the corridor, he ran - ran as fast as he could back to his own chambers and threw himself on the bed. This was wrong. All wrong... it was not that the man was not desirable, but he was just not... Dinalu.

"I miss you!" Elrohir sobbed into his pillow. "Oh please come join me" - he knew this request was stupid and childish, but it was how he felt. But the only answer was the silence of the empty room, adding to his loneliness.

---

Rivendell

He was betraying Elladan's trust and friendship, he knew this. But now the young prince had been hiding in his rooms, preferring solitude and meditation to anything. Not even the promise of a spar or a horse race would lure him outside. And now these delusions he had about Irmo. They had frightened Erestor - all seen in the light of the show he had put on in Elrond's study, which had earned him 2 days in the healing wing. Erestor did not trust the young elf's judgment anymore. Elladan had gone insane, it was as simple as that. It was hard for him to admit, since he had knew him since birth. But the evidence was mounting, and he could no longer ignore the fact. And neither could Elrond.

It was with a beating heart he knocked on the lord's door, the news he had to deliver now was the hardest he had ever done.

---

Elrond sat and watched the door through which Erestor had just left - Elladan insane? He knew his son was rather eccentric, and he had to admit that the behaviour he had show the other day with his hair and ear had frightened him. Right now he did not feel like the lord of Rivendell. He was just a father, scared to death on behalf of his son. He had to determine what to do with Elladan. According to Erestor, no one could reach him. Elladan was lost even to him.

Elrond sighed and absentmindedly cracked his knuckles. "Elrohir," he mumbled, yes, Elrohir could reach his brother. If he couldn't pull him out of this, Elladan was lost to life on Middle-earth. He pulled out his pen, and started on a message to Elrohir. These were indeed dire times, and this would devastate Elrohir. But he had no choice.

Closing my dream inside its paper-bag.
Thought I saw angels
but I could have been wrong.
Search in my case,
can't find what they're looking for.
Waving me through
to cry you a song.

It's been a long time
still shaking my wings.
Well I'm a glad bird
I got changes to ring.

Lights in the street,
peeping through curtains drawn.
Rattling of safety chain taking too long.
The smile in your eyes was never so sweet before
Came down from the skies
to cry you a song.
--Jethro Tull – To Cry You a Song

Rohan

"Kiss me," he whispered, and Theodred looked up at those impossible blue slanted eyes. He tried to mouth a protest but it was killed in the first attempt when the elf's soft lips silenced him. He was surprised of the eagerness that the elf displayed, but he welcomed it, wrapping his arms around the slightly smaller frame. He had not even noticed when the thin loose pants he wore for sleep had been pulled off, but he suddenly realized that he was naked. Maybe it was some elf trick? He opened his eyes and saw the golden hair move downwards kissing his stomach, nipping gently at the tender skin around his hipbone. Once again words failed him, and he heard himself let out a pitiful whimper when the elf finally reached his member. Theodred moved involuntarily, thrusting up against the silky soft mouth that welcomed him. He didn't last long, and he heard his own voice moan in delight as his orgasm spread throughout his limbs, making his heart race and bright lights erupt behind his closed eyes.

Theodred felt something warm against his arm, and slowly opened his eyes, blinking in the darkness; he slowly turned his head and saw the elf asleep under the covers, curled up in a little ball. He felt the blood drain from his face, and reluctantly looked down at himself. He was still dressed in his loose sleeping pants, but they were now stained from his vivid dream. And as the blood had left him, it now rushed back... and Theodred sat up with a jerk. It had been a dream! Oh gods no! Ferret still slept, with luck he had slept through it.

He slowly crawled from the bed, and walked to the dresser to fetch some clean pants. He looked out the window, almost dawn. He decided that since he would get no more rest anyway, he might as well take a bath and prepare for the day to come. As he walked past, he smiled at the sleeping elf, but caught himself when he was about to run his hand over the golden hair. Such folly! It had been a dream, and why he had dreamed of the elf, he didn't quite understand. He was not attracted to him, or was he? He had spend his entire adulthood living with encounters such as those with Eomer. They had been comforting and pleasant, but never had they made his heart race the way it did now... Could this be it? Was he falling in love?

He shook his head, and quickly left for the bathroom.

---

Elrohir bit the quill. Why was he so terrible with words? All he wanted to say was 'I love you, please please come with me' but he couldn't. He looked at the neat letter, full of explanations and excuses, but not one word to express his loneliness or his longing for his husband. He sat the quill against the page once more and wrote.

'I wish I were not alone, I miss your company terribly.'

Bah! Elrohir hissed to himself. It was such an idiotic letter. He crushed the page into a ball and threw it with an irritated move over into the fireplace. He then took yet another page and started writing again, the same excuses and ridiculous excuses. He signed off with 'Elrohir of Rivendell.'

He sighed once more. Why couldn't he just write what he wanted to? So he added under his signature 'I love you' – why did those words just seem so hollow right now? But he decided that he would have to wait for Dinalu to get back to him, if he did write back at all. A sick feeling settled in his stomach. What if Dinalu had found his comfort in the arms of another elf? Or did as his people wanted of him, and annulled their bond and married a female elf to produce heirs for the kingdom? Ai! Right now he wished that Elladan was close. He needed that unspoken understanding they seemed to share. He took another page and wrote to his brother, asking him to join him in Rohan if father would let him. He looked down at the letter and read, 'I am scared Elladan, please come stay by my side.' Why could he express feelings to his brother, and not to his husband? He knew the answer somehow. It was because Elladan would never hurt him.

He rolled both parcels up and closed them with the seal of Rohan. He then stood up slowly and grabbed the letters as he walked out the door; he was intent on seeing King Theoden this morning. This elf had piqued his interest, and he would love to solve this strange puzzle.

---

In the large hall, Theoden was sitting down, looking over some papers he had been neglecting for too long, when Elrohir suddenly opened the door in the side of the hall, instead of the main entrance. "King Theoden? Forgive me for disturbing you, but I must speak with you," the half-elf said softly, as he kept standing on the thresh hold.

"You may enter, Elrohir of Rivendell," Theoden said with a smile, not even bothering to hide the fact that he was happy to be disturbed from his tedious task.

"Thank you, Theoden King," Elrohir said with a nod and walked into the great hall. He took a deep breath before he spoke again. "The little elf is quite the enigma my liege; I need more time to talk to him, and perhaps make his memory resurface." Right at that moment he could have put his foot in his mouth. What was he thinking? He might as well have told the king that it was most likely that he knew who was responsible for this unhappy situation.

Theoden raised a brow and looked at the elf. "You understand him, then?"

Elrohir mustered all his self-control so he wouldn't show his discomfort. "To some extent," he said. "He apparently understands me, and he can nod or shake his head. I have yet to learn if he can write." That was not quite the truth, but neither was it a lie, and Elrohir sent a silent thanks to his diplomacy lessons and Master Erestor.

"I see," Theoden said as he rested against the large table with the papers spread across the surface. "And what is it you are asking of me, Elrohir?"

"I...uhm..." Elrohir started, but then held out the two parcels. "I wish to ask for my brother to join me, my liege. Perhaps he can reach the young elf better than I." He studied Theoden's face for a second, and then added, "If you do not wish for him here, I can bring the elf to Rivendell and finish my studies there."

"Yes," Theoden said and nodded. He was relieved that the elf offered this, for then he did not need to sound rude. After all, he had asked for Elrond's help with the intent to remove this elf from his realm, not to suddenly be overloaded with them.

"But with all respect, King Theoden," Elrohir said and took a step forward, "I think your son would be upset if I were to take the mute elf away."

"What?" Theoden said and knitted his eyebrows in annoyance. "Explain yourself, Elrohir."

"I think," Elrohir started, "I think he has grown very fond of the elf, and the elf relies upon him." Upon seeing Theoden's almost tomato-red face, he quickly continued. "My liege, you are wise – so you must know that the elf had a rough ordeal, and your son saved him, and so he finds himself depending on his saviour, and the other way around, your son is only looking out for the elf."

Theoden let out an extremely annoyed puff of air before he turned to his papers. "Take him away from here, I do not care how. He belongs with his kindred spirits, not here," he said through gritted teeth.

"But my liege," Elrohir said, "I assure you..."

"I mean you no ill intentions, Elrohir," Theoden said, sounding less aggravated. He turned to face the elf once more. "I am forever grateful to your father, the lord of Rivendell. That he sent his son to my aid, but that elf child cannot stay here."

Elrohir didn't know if he should laugh or yell, and a giggle threatened to bubble up in his throat. "He is not a child," he finally said in a strained voice.

"But my son is!" Theoden growled. "You may leave, Elrohir."

"Yes, of course, thank you for seeing me, King Theoden," Elrohir said and bowed slightly before he walked out of the throne room. "That went well, Elrohir you oaf!" he said to himself, he took a deep breath, fearing to tell the strange elf. He sighed. He couldn't help but wonder if the king would have overreacted like that if it had been a female elf. Elrohir had heard the hidden fear in Theoden's voice clearly.

---

The sun was high in the sky as Elrohir went to the burial hills to clear his mind, and the place seemed so tranquil, but he had scarcely sat down before he heard an oddly timid voice. "Elrohir?"

He turned around and smiled at the young prince. "Theodred," he said with a smile, "Where did you hide ferret this time?"

"I didn't," Theodred said as he took a step closer to Elrohir. "He is around somewhere, I guess."

Elrohir raised a brow. He had wanted to be alone, but Theodred looked so lost that he couldn't help but pat the earth next to him, in a gesture for the young man to sit. "Come, Theodred, sit with me."

"Thank you," Theodred said with relief, and lowered himself next to the half-elf.

"You seem troubled," Elrohir said softly, as he brushed a wayward strand of hair from the man's face. The young prince was most definitely fair, maybe not by elven standards, but he had to be the most beautiful mortal he had ever seen. For a moment he wondered if Theodred was even mortal.

"'Tis nothing," Theodred said with a small voice as he kept his gaze fixed on the horizon.

"Come now, young Prince Theodred," Elrohir said in a teasing voice, "Pray tell, who is it?"

Theodred's mouth fell open and he turned quickly to look at the elf. "What do you mean?" he gasped.

But Elrohir just smiled reassuringly. "The one who captured your heart, young Theodred. I would recognize that look in your eyes anywhere."

"Is it really..." Theodred started.

"That obvious?" Elrohir finished for him. "Yes, Theodred, it is."

The young prince offered Elrohir a strange smile and a weak blush. "Oh," he just said.

"So are you going to tell me?" Elrohir said and scooted closer to the man.

Theodred shook his head. "I can't, it's wrong."

"How can you say that, Theodred?" Elrohir said. "It is never wrong to be in love."

But Theodred nodded. "I am not sure it is even love." He looked up at Elrohir. "It is just me, I – I feel like I am taking advantage of him. I should not feel like this, I should..." his voice faltered and faded.

"I was right then," Elrohir said with a smile. "You are in love with Ferret, are you not?"

"Yes, I mean no... I mean..." Theodred stuttered.

"It is all right, Theodred, Ferret is grown. He can make his own choices, and if he should return your feelings," Elrohir threw his hands up in the air in a dramatic gesture, "Then the sky is the limit," he yelled. Theodred chuckled, and Elrohir smiled. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with you falling in love with Ferret."

"But it is wrong of me?" Theodred continued in a pitiful voice. "He relies on me, he trusts me." He ran a hand through his hair in a distressed move. "They really hurt him, Elrohir, and here I am dreaming of his... Ehm... Forget it."

Elrohir couldn't help but to burst out laughing. "Dear, dear Theodred," he chuckled before he put his arm around the confused man. "Maybe he likes you too, you will never know if you don't try."

"No, he couldn't," Theodred whined. "He is an elf and all, and what about his terrible ordeal?"

"Gods, Theodred, you make it sound like he is an emotional cripple. He had something happen that should never happen to anybody, but that doesn't mean he can't make decisions." He nuzzled Theodred's long brown hair. "And besides, it does happen, you know!" Theodred looked puzzled. "Elves and mortals," Elrohir said with a grin.

"Oh yes," Theodred said with a goofy grin. He had forgotten that for a second, that Elrohir was half-elven. "Is your mother mortal, then?" he asked.

Elrohir laughed softly. "No, it is my father's, father's, father who was mortal. But he still got to travel west with his wife, who was elven."

Theodred looked confused. "No offense, Elrohir, but that does not make you half-elven at all."

"I know," Elrohir still laughed, "but just as my father and his brother, my siblings and I have a choice to belong amongst the race of men or of the firstborn."

"I didn't know," Theodred whispered.

"Don't worry about it, and besides you did not come here to talk about my old dusty ancestors," Elrohir said with a smile. "Theodred?" The man turned and looked up at Elrohir once more. "You will never know what lies in your elf's heart if you do not give him a chance to show it."

"You mean I should woo him?" Theodred said with a blush.

"Exactly," Elrohir said.

"But we cannot communicate, how should I woo him?" Theodred shook his head, and the miserable expression came back. "Nay Elrohir, I cannot woo him, it is not right."

"Listen to yourself, Theodred," Elrohir tried.

But Theodred just shook his head. "I am sorry I wasted your noon, and disturbed your peace." He quickly got up and sighed before he spoke once more. "Please forget this conversation ever took place."

"Theodred, please! You cannot give up like this!" Elrohir pleaded as he turned around to look after the young man, who had already begun to leave. Theodred did not even turn to look at him as he walked back towards Meduseld, the Hall of Kings.

Your eyes
they often lie
and leave me feeling
misunderstood

our tragedy
plays out like a symphony
a breath and a whisper
are your clues

I don't need sympathy
or your apologies
why don't you understand?
The face you see
well it belongs to me
and I'm doing the best I can...

just to make you smile
just to make you smile
again...

Every now and then you have to see
that the wall we've built has landed on me
every now and then why don't we pretend
that things will come together in the end
every now and then just open your eyes
does every part of everything have to be right
every now and then- so that after a while
I might get through and make you smile
--The cruxshadows – heart on the sleeve



Elrohir looked over his shoulder before he slipped into Theodred's chambers. He knew the princeling would not be there. He had heard him move down the corridor earlier, so the elf would be alone about now...

"Hello," he whispered in his native tongue.

Legolas stepped out of the shadows at the window with a sad smile, and Elrohir came to stand at the window as well, looking out over the plain, seeing a forest in the distance. "Miss home?" he asked.

Legolas nodded slowly.

"I must ask you something, little Ferret," Elrohir said. "When I say home, what are the three first things you think of?" It was a trick and he knew it... but he had decided to take this approach to things, since his and Elladan's secret sign language was rather limited. – His and Elladan's secret signs... This nagging thought wouldn't let him alone. He was sure that Elladan had something to do with this, but where he fit in he didn't really understand.

Legolas looked deep in thought, until he reached out and touched Elrohir's hair, before ghosting his fingers over his chin. "Me?" Elrohir whispered.

Legolas nodded, and Elrohir paled.

The mute elf then made the sign for a rabbit, before grabbing a piece of cloth and petting it. "A cloth rabbit?" Elrohir breathed... "Ai! By the Valar..." he sighed, it was true, it had to be Elladan! No one else wore his face, and as a child he had had a stuffed toy rabbit. His father had told him that Elladan had sacked the attic room. Elrond had thought that Elladan had been sad and angry, but what if he had really been searching for something?!

But the next thing Legolas did really puzzled Elrohir. He grabbed some strands of his hair and braided it into a helpless chunky braid, but Elrohir could still see what it was he meant. "A Mirkwood warrior braid?" The half elf sat down in a near by comfortable chair and stared at the elf. "A Mirkwood braid, where does this fit in?" he mumbled to himself. He would have to give this some thought.

He must have drifted off for a while, because suddenly Legolas was sitting on his armrest. Elrohir looked up at the young elf. "Is there something wrong?" he asked, slightly puzzled by the youth's sad expression.

Legolas made the sign for mortal, and pointed at Theodred's wolf pelt.

"Theodred?"

The golden-haired youth nodded.

"Is there something wrong with him?" Elrohir asked, but upon seeing Legolas blush he chuckled. "Oh!"

"He is a good man, my friend" Elrohir said softly, seeing Legolas' goofy smile. "You did right in following him." He put his arm around the waist of the slender young elf. "I am sure he likes you too, my friend." Elrohir had come here as a collector of a stray elf, but had ended up as a regular cupid. Why or how this had happened he didn't really understand. "I am sure you will find a way to let him know," he whispered.

Legolas suddenly touched his face, making him turn his eyes to the youth; he wore a frown and asked why Elrohir was so sad.

"Sad? I am not sad," Elrohir said, knowing his lie would be detected right away. So he just sighed and rested his head against Legolas' shoulder. "I miss Dinalu." When Legolas didn't make one single move, Elrohir continued speaking, a little uneasy at first, but suddenly the words just flowed from him. "I wish he could get along with Elladan, and I wish he would understand how important it is that I don't hurt my brother. I cannot betray our pact. Dinalu should understand, after all, he used to have a brother." He sighed. "And this is why I am here all alone, if he had been here, I would not.... h-have been so lonely. I was already alone when I came here," Elrohir whispered and swallowed that lump in his throat. "He had been denying me access to his chambers, placing me in a guest room. He had not kissed me or held me for a long, long time. Neither have we been," he searched for the word and cleared his throat before whispering, "intimate, in over a year."

Elrohir's voice grew thick with emotion as he continued. "Now along comes that man, Eomer. I know what it is he wants, Ai.. Why do my body and my heart want two different things?" He looked up at Legolas, searching for some kind of answer in his kinsman's eyes, but when he saw Legolas was crying, he was no longer able to hold back his own frustration, and his tears began to fall as well. He had been crying so much for such a long time while he was in Mirkwood, so he had come to loathe the taste of his own tears, but right now they only felt liberating. "I don't want to cry," he offered weakly. "I want..." He fell silent, and just buried his head in the other elf's chest, feeling the mute elf's arms wrap around him, in an effort to soothe him.

When his tears finally subsided, he sat up straight once more, blinking as he wiped the wetness off with his sleeve. "Forgive me," he said with a hard voice. "I never meant to loose my composure." He took a deep breath to steady his shallow breathing, letting the air out slowly. "Right, then," he mumbled to himself, before he turned to look at Legolas again, who still looked like his heart was breaking. "Don't worry about me, little one, I will manage – you see, it will all turn out right in the end."

Legolas nodded weakly, but Elrohir saw in his eyes that he did not really believe it.

Elrohir stood up from the chair, and Legolas slid down in the warm seat. "I must tell you something, but you have to promise me to not try and tell Theodred in any way." It seemed stupid to stand here and tell a mute elf to keep his mouth shut, but he felt he had to do it.

"I had a talk with Theodred's father, King Theoden," Elrohir said. He looked down at his feet. Why had he just sat there and encouraged the elf to pursue his heart, and now he was telling him that it was impossible? Ai, he most certainly was confused these days. "And he," Elrohir paused, -just get it over with- he chided himself, "told me we have to leave for Rivendell as soon as possible."

Legolas looked confused and made the sign for leave and then he pointed at the pelt once more...

Elrohir's heart sank as he nodded. "Yes, we are to leave Theodred, too."

The young elf just shook his head in refusal.

"If it's any help, I understand why you won't leave," Elrohir said, "but unless we come up with something quickly, then we have to leave, with or without Theodred!"

The youth looked a bit anxious, but at last he smiled and nodded, and Elrohir nodded back.

"Good! Then I will try and stall the king."

---

Rivendell

"Glorfindel, Erestor," Elrond said with a sigh. "I am glad you both could find time to have this meeting."

"But of course, my lord," Glorfindel said and looked over at Erestor. Both of them had noticed the worn look on their lord, but had decided to let Elrond speak first.

"I wanted you both to give me your counsel on this," Elrond said and pinched the bridge of his nose. "My son... Elladan..." he paused and looked up at Erestor, "is not well."

"No he is not," Erestor agreed.

Glorfindel was apparently oblivious and blinked confusedly. "What is wrong with Elladan?"

"He..." Elrond started, and Erestor took over with an icy smile. "He cut off his own ear as a gift for Elrohir."

"Oh!" Glorfindel gasped and blushed weakly at his own stupidity.

"I have been trying to find out what needs be done about this behaviour," Elrond said. "If his mother had been here, she would have known how to mend him, but she is not. There are only the three of us here."

"With all due respect, what about Elrohir and Arwen?" Erestor said. "Perhaps they can wake him from this state."

"I would rather not bring home Elrohir to see his brother like this. It would be devastating for him, and I do believe he is having a hard time himself. He would push all his troubles away for the sake of his brother. But we all know troubles do not disappear. They bottle up if they are not dealt with, and I simply cannot ask that from Elrohir," Elrond said and with a loud sigh he reached for his glass of water on his desk.

"I see your point, my lord, but although Celebrian is not here, her mother is," Glorfindel said with a smug grin. "And she is as wise as her daughter."

"Ah yes, Lady Galadriel," Erestor murmured. "I do think you are right, Glorfindel."

Elrond gulped down the water and smiled at the Balrog slayer. "Lorien," he whispered. "You are a genius Glorfindel... yes, his heart and soul will mend in Lorien."

"So be it, my lord," Erestor said with a smile. "I will go and write a letter for the lord and lady."

"Yes, you do that, Chief Councilor."

I would give my life to find it
I would give it all
Catch me if I fall
All alone
Waiting to fall

40,000 stars in the evening
Look at them fall from the sky
40,000 reasons for living
40,000 tears in your eye

I would give my life to find it
I would give it all
Catch me if I fall

-- REM - Texarkana

On the road to Lorien

Glorfindel felt his heart sink as he set out on this task, taking Elladan to see his grandmother. Only a few months ago he would never have thought twice about letting Elladan take this trip alone, but now he sat here on Asfaloth's back, riding to Lorien with Elladan in the saddle in front of him. Elrond hadn't even trusted his son with his own horse. Elladan seemed normal enough right now, Glorfindel thought to himself. He was chatting away about the different flora and fauna they passed. But the Balrog slayer knew it was a charade. There was nothing normal about Elladan anymore, not these days. He looked at the neatly bandaged left ear and frowned. At first he had been nervous about this task. He feared not the perils on the road, but to face an angered lady of light was not on his top ten list of wonderful ways to spend your afternoon. Elrond had written a letter for Galadriel so Glorfindel didn't have to explain himself too much, and the golden elf was more than relieved about that.

Elladan pointed at a faun. "Look, Glorfindel!" he said.

Glorfindel looked. "Yes, it's a pretty faun."

And as Elladan went off again talking about the faun's life cycle, Glorfindel couldn't help but sigh. He prayed that the lady would be able to ease Elladan's troubled mind, and hopefully he could return to Elrond with his son, and not this.... odd alien being.

---

Rohan

Elrohir was sitting on a rock, watching Theodred exercise his horse, as a servant approached him. "Lord Elrohir?" Elrohir turned and nodded with a smile. "There has come a messenger from Mirkwood," the servant said and handed Elrohir a letter. The half-elf took it and mumbled a thank you to the servant.

He turned the letter over and saw the royal stamp of Mirkwood, but the insignia in the middle was his and Dinalu's. They had gotten their own royal insignia as a wedding present. This letter had to be from his husband. He slowly broke the seal, not sure how he should feel, trying to ignore the butterflies in his stomach. He bit his lip and started to read. He grew increasingly pale. "No!" he suddenly gasped and stood up.

Theodred noticed the elf acting odd, and spurred his horse, riding up to Elrohir, and once there almost throwing himself from the horse. "What is amiss?" he panted, grabbing Elrohir's shaking shoulders.

"H-he said that..." Elrohir mumbled, "he is l-leaving"

"Who? What? Why? Where?" Theodred said, looking utterly confused.

"Dinalu," Elrohir said, turning away from Theodred.

"Wait," Theodred said, but let go of the elf. "Perhaps I can help..." He knew it sounded stupid but he just couldn't let Elrohir walk off like that.

"No Theodred, please leave me alone," Elrohir whispered before hurrying off, his mind racing around the letter from Dinalu. It had been so sad, and cold – it could not be true, he didn't want to believe those words. How could he just give up?

He was so distraught he didn't even notice that Eomer, who had returned from the plains, called for him from the stables.

Eomer stood and watched Elrohir almost run towards the guest wing of the royal halls. He had looked forward to coming home. Elrohir confused him, but after all he had come on pretty strongly, he knew that. But he couldn't help himself.

---

Theodred went looking for his Ferret, and found him without much effort in the stables petting Eomer's horse. Eomer himself was standing close, looking at the elf and his horse. At Theodred's presence he turned and smiled "He seems to like horses," he said.

Theodred nodded. "And they seem to like him as well"

Eomer laughed. "You are such a mushy git," he bowed lightly and chuckled, "my prince."

"Bah!" Theodred pushed Eomer, who then fell on his butt.

And this made Legolas turn around, and upon seeing Eomer sitting in straw and horse manure with a pretty annoyed expression, and Theodred laughing and pointing, he felt an insane laugh bubble up inside.

And then he laughed.

Both Theodred and Eomer froze on the spot as they heard the elf laugh; it was a light and contagious laughter, the two men looked at each other, not saying anything.

Eomer slowly stood up and brushed off the straw as much as possible, and Theodred just watched Legolas with a huge grin. "Go tell Prince Elrohir," Theodred finally whispered. "I am going to borrow your horse." And before Eomer could answer, Theodred jumped up on Eomer's horse, and held his hand out to Legolas. "Come."

The elf didn't understand the fuss, but took Theodred's offered hand, trying his hardest not to smile to widely at the prospect of a horseback ride with Theodred. Elrohir had told him the man's name was Theodred.

With unnatural ease Legolas swung himself on the horse, surprising even Eomer to the point where he didn't even have a snappy comeback. Was this really Theodred's mute elf? He shook his head as Theodred spurred the horse and rode out of the stable in a quick trot.

The man looked down at himself and sighed. He had manure everywhere. "I'm going to get you for this, son of Theoden King" he mumbled with amusement, before he gathered his belongings and made his way to his own chambers. He would not seek out Elrohir until after he had bathed and rested.

---

Legolas let out an amused squeal as Theodred made the horse go into gallop, and Theodred laughed. In minutes he had decided that he would never get enough of the elf's voice, but having heard that sweet laughter only made his heart ache more to hear his voice.

"I want to show you something," Theodred shouted as they hurried over the plains.

---

Elrohir went to his chambers and slammed the door shut, leaning against it and feeling the tears that had been welling up since Theodred had grabbed him finally starting to fall. He threw the letter away from him in anger. That was soon followed by a vase that stood on a little flower table. What was he supposed to do? Go against his father's will and leave Rohan, setting off in pursuit of a husband who wouldn't even address him as his mate? Or stay and lose his heart?

He moved over to a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of wine, not quite as good as the one he had shared with Eomer, but good enough for him to drink. He didn't bother to pull out the cork, but just pushed it down the bottle with his thumb, put the flask to his lips and drank.

---

The plains outside Rohan

Theodred stopped the horse and politely let go of Legolas. "This used to be my hideout as a child, mine and my cousins'."

Legolas just smiled, looking at this oasis and when Theodred got off the horse so did he.

It had all seemed so easy when he had stood in the stables, but now it seemed far more difficult, but where nothing dared, nothing gained. He remembered Elrohir's words, and the elf was right. And even if Ferret did not like him in that way, they could still have fun; there was no reason for recoiling. And so he took a deep breath and gestured for Legolas to follow him to a little creek. "I used to bathe here as a child," he said, well knowing Ferret would not understand one word.

The first piece of clothing was the hardest, but seeing the blush that increased on Legolas' cheeks made his heart thunder. Stripped to his thin inner leggings, he decided to keep them on, and with a grin started to walk towards the water. And now it seemed as if Ferret caught on, and quickly followed his example.

Theodred tried not to ogle, but his eyes were glued to his elven friend. He had seen this elf naked, yes, but this was just different. The skin was healed from the bruises and cuts, and looked smooth as silk, very different compared to his. Ever since he had become a young man, the other men had teased him about his lack of body hair; they were there all right, but just not in abundance.

He tore his gaze from Legolas, very aware that it could be uncomfortable for his friend, and dove under the water.

---

Back in Meduseld

His first thought was that Glorfindel would have had his hide if he had known this, because suddenly a blond woman stood next to him. He had seen her before. But most importantly he had not heard her enter his room.

"Lord Elrohir?" she said. "A letter arrived for you."

"Oh great," Elrohir sighed and wiped his tears away with his sleeve. "Hand it over," he said slurring slightly.

"Are you drunk, Lord Elrohir?" the woman asked as she handed the packet to Elrohir.

"Yes, I am drunk as a skunk," Elrohir laughed hollowly, and looked at the packet. "Home sweet home." He looked up at the woman. "It is from my father. I wonder what he wants."

Elrohir sat down to read the note, not really caring that the female took his bottle from him; it was a short letter that only said:

My dearest Elrohir

We received your letters, but I am afraid Elladan is not well, and thus has gone to your grandmother. I trust all is well in Rohan.

Your loving father.

"Not well?" Elrohir gasped. What had happened, Elladan was sick? And their father wouldn't even say why. This was pure torture, sitting here not being able to be there for either Dinalu or Elladan.

"Who is not well, if you don't mind me asking?" the woman asked.

"My brother" Elrohir said. He looked up at the woman and faked a smile. "The Valar hate me," he whispered with a pitiful sigh. "Oh I wish this day was over; I wish I was so drunk I could just sleep and never wake up."

"I'm sorry to hear that, for Theoden King has sent me to deliver this message, and ask you to join his table at dinner."

"Please tell your king I cannot attend dinner," Elrohir said, "uhm..."

"Eowyn," she said.

"Ah, Eomer's sister, I have seen you and heard of you," he answered flatly.

"What excuse shall I give the king then?" Eowyn asked.

Elrohir stood up and snatched the bottle from her. "I care not! Tell him my brother is sick, tell him I'm too drunk to eat or tell him my husband just left me!" At the last word he hurled the bottle in the fireplace before he slumped down on the coverlet of his bed. "I care not, Eowyn, just tell him I cannot attend."

Eowyn came and sat next to the elf and wrapped an arm around him. "I am sorry to hear of your misfortune."

Elrohir felt his tears being to fall again, and he was quickly sobbing, not caring that another person was in the room.

"If I were you I would get drunk as well," she said and Elrohir laughed dryly between his tears

"If he goes through with this plan of his, I will follow him to the shores of Aman, if necessary," he whispered, more to himself than to Eowyn. He turned his head and looked at the woman. "He is not only leaving me, he said he was thinking of leaving Middle-earth all together."

Eowyn smiled and shook Elrohir lightly. "I am sure you will find a way to make him stay."

"I can't make Dinalu do anything he doesn't want to, and if I am not enough to keep him here, then I don't know what to do." He shook his head in despair.

"I wish there was something I could do for you to unburden your heart, Elrohir," she said as she let go of the elf, "but sadly these things are out of my reach."

Elrohir nodded.

"I can do one thing for you. I hear that Theoden wants you and the mute elf to leave," Eowyn said, and when Elrohir just nodded again she continued. "I can talk to him, and hope he will listen, so this won't burden you as well."

"Thank you, lady Eowyn," Elrohir whispered.

---

Outside Rohan

They had bathed for a while, and then lain in the sun to dry. Now they were almost home once more. Was he imagining this or was the elf leaning towards him in the saddle?

It had been a wonderful trip out in the sun, and he hoped they could have many more of these hours to themselves.

They rode into the city and on to the stables. Once there, they both dismounted. Theodred took care of Eomer's horse for the night, and Legolas waited by the side of the stall. As he finished, he turned to the elf. "Right, its time for dinner, and all this riding and bathing has made me hungry like a wolf." Legolas just looked at him, and Theodred grew worried. "Ferret? Is something wrong?"

Legolas smiled and made a sign and pointed at Theodred. The man was confused, but after the fourth time it occurred to him that perhaps this was the sign for him. Elrohir had said that these gestures meant names and words, so he repeated the sign slowly and pointed at himself. "Me?" he asked, and Legolas nodded eagerly, pointing at him again.

"Oh, I have a sign of my own!" he laughed giddily. He was a bit sad that he hadn't heard more of that beautiful voice the elf had, but he was extremely excited that he had understood something. Perhaps in time he could learn to understand some of these signs, but he needed Elrohir's help with that.

Then Ferret suddenly leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. By the gods! Ferret had kissed him. He blushed ferociously, not quite understanding if this was another sign for something. He blinked rapidly and when he had finally grounded himself enough to say something, the elf was gone. He touched his cheek. Perhaps Ferret really did like him, and this prospect made Theodred smile a goofy smile that wouldn't leave his face for the rest of the day.

You could say I lost my faith in science and progress
You could say I lost my belief in the holy church
You could say I lost my sense of direction
You could say all of this and worse but

If I ever lose my faith in you
There'd be nothing left for me to do

I never saw no miracle of science
That didn't go from a blessing to a curse
I never saw no military solution
That didn't always end up as something worse but
Let me say this first

If I ever lose my faith in you
There'd be nothing left for me to do
--Sting - if I ever lose my faith


Rohan

Theodred, Elrohir and Legolas was sitting at a grassy hill enjoying the sun. "This will be one of the last summer evenings," Theodred said. "Soon autumn will be upon us."

Elrohir nodded. Yes, this makes one strangely melancholy, does it not?"

"Yes," Theodred said.

Legolas poked Elrohir on the shoulder and made some quick signs with a childish smile, and Elrohir answered, before he looked at Theodred. "He wants me to tell a story."

"Oh yes, please do," Theodred said, stretching out on the long grass.

"Very well," Elrohir said. "You asked me about my ancestors once, and I will tell you a story about Eärendil the Mariner. I can tell it to Legolas as we go along."

Legolas nodded, understanding nothing, but he just curled up next to Elrohir.

"This is a story about love," Elrohir said with a smug grin. "Half-elven and Dragon-slayer. Eärendil the Mariner was the son of the Edain lord, Tuor, and the elven lady, Idril of Gondolin." Elrohir paused and winked at Theodred, who just looked away, getting Elrohir's message crystal clear. "Eärendil was born in the year 504 of the First Age in Gondolin, but grew up in the elven haven of Arvernien. He became the lord of Arvernien and married Elwing, the elven daughter of King Dior and the inheritor of the Silmaril." He smiled down at Legolas. "She was a sight to behold, so the legends say, and Eärendil had no choice but to woo her as he saw her." Elrohir laughed and continued, "They had two sons: Elrond and Elros."

Theodred looked at Elrohir. "But is Elrond not?..."

Elrohir laughed. "Yes, Elrond is my father, but that is not important for this story."

"Oh, forgive me for interrupting!" Theodred whispered.

"Ah 'tis all right, I would not want for you to sit there and be confused," Elrohir sighed softly and continued. "For Eärendil, whose name means 'sea lover', Círdan built a miraculous ship called Vingilot." Elrohir paused. "While Eärendil was at sea, Arvernien was attacked and Elwing was forced to flee. Seeing no means of escape, she threw herself and the Silmaril into the sea."

"Oh, oh," Theodred gasped. "What about her sons?"

"They were captured by the Fëanor sons," Elrohir said. "But that is another story."

Both Theodred and Legolas sulked but Elrohir just laughed. "I can tell that tale some other day!" He ruffled Legolas' hair and continued. "Ulmo, the Ocean lord, saved her by transforming her into a sea bird and allowed her to fly to Eärendil. The couple used the power and light of the Silmaril to find their way to the Undying lands, to ask the aid of the Valar. In response, the Valar and Maiar host, along with the Elves of Eldamar, came out of the Undying Lands in the War of Wrath. It ended in the Great Battle, in which Eärendil the Mariner also fought. With the Silmaril bound to his brow, and his magical ship given the power of light, Eärendil slew Ancalagon the Black, the greatest Dragon that the world has ever known. After the end of the First Age, Eärendil led the surviving Edain to the new island kingdom of Númenor. Ever after, Eärendil was destined to sail Vingilot through the firmament. Called the Evening Star and the 'flame of the west', the Silmaril on his brow shone down from the night sky forever after."

Theodred smiled sadly, "That was a beautiful story... but."

"But what?" Elrohir said.

"Didn't they miss their children?"

Elrohir offered a weak smile. "I'm sure they did, but the destruction or salvation of the Silmaril was more important in those times. Had Elwing not cast herself in the sea, Middle-earth might perhaps not be as we know it now. Besides, you can see him sail the skies at night."

"You can see him?!" Theodred gasped.

"Nay not really, you can see the Silmaril on his forehead, as he sails Vingilot at night, while his wife waits in the white tower of Aman."

"But if we can see him, then.." Theodred said with confusion obvious in his voice.

"He can see us as well. Yes, I like to believe that," Elrohir said.

---

It was dark when Elrohir ventured back from the hill he had been sitting on with the two youngsters. He looked up at the sky, seeing if he could spot the brightest star there, but it was a cloudy night. He sighed. How he wished that he were not so torn, and he wanted to will that strange sensation away that Eomer had started inside him. He growled softly at himself. Perhaps Dinalu wanted to give up on all that was them, but he was still bound to his mate. He should not fall into temptation so easily.

He took a deep breath and changed directions to go find Eomer; he should do this now before his reasoning faltered.

He found himself in front of Eomer's door. Now he suddenly weren't so sure of what to do, but as in a trance he watched himself knock the door, and he was sure he must have looked like an idiot when Eomer opened the door. "Good evening," he said softly.

"Elrohir?" Eomer said, surprised. "I did not think you would visit me here this night, had I known then..."

"Don't," Elrohir whispered. "Can I come in?"

"Of course" Eomer said and moved away from the door, so Elrohir could move inside and sit down in a chair. "What brings you here?" Eomer said as he closed the door, and when Elrohir didn't answer he walked to the elf and squatted down in front of him.

"E-Eomer," Elrohir said and sighed, "I really wish I could."

The man looked up at Elrohir, who appeared to be on the verge of tears. This scared Eomer no end. He had never thought this composed warrior could cry.

"A part of me really wants to," the elf said.

"What?" Eomer whispered.

"To bed you," Elrohir whispered back as he lowered his head, "but my heart won't let me." Eomer said nothing and Elrohir started to wring his hands in his lap. "I have a mate."

"Is he the reason for this haunted look in your eyes?" Eomer whispered.

Elrohir said nothing but bit his lip. This was harder than he thought. All of his body reacted to Eomer's warm hands that rested on his knees, and for a brief second he wondered what these large hands would feel like caressing his skin.

"I understand," Eomer said softly and stood up, noticing that Elrohir almost let out a sad sigh at the loss of bodily contact. "I will not try and court you again." He turned around and watched the night sky through his window. "You are a noble soul, Elrohir, and I would be greatly saddened if you should scorn my friendship as well."

"Oh Eomer," Elrohir whispered, "I would cherish your friendship. "The man nodded and Elrohir stood up and walked over to him, just instinctive wrapping his arms around him, resting his head in the broad shoulder, looking out the window as well. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Eomer felt himself tremble under the touch. "Me too," he whispered.

The trembling went right into Elrohir and he felt this odd feeling inside him once more, and as Elrohir leaned into his embrace he felt his groin awaken and his heart beat faster. This was ever so tempting. "I should leave," he whispered, "before I do something we will both regret."

"No, something 'you' would regret," Eomer said coldly.

"I." Elrohir started, but then just untangled himself from the man, and as a ghost left the room. It had been the right thing to do, hadn't it? Why did it just leave him with a feeling of emptiness?

---

The next morning Elrohir was on his way to see Legolas. He had not been able to sleep all night so he had instead worked on what to do with the mute elf, and when Eomer had told him that he had laughed, a theory had come to him. And so instead of knocking on the door this morning, he just tiptoed into Theodred's chambers. The prince was out. But the elf would be here. He smiled as he heard water splash in the bathroom and he walked inside, seeing the young elf in the tub. "Boooh!" he yelled.

Legolas quickly turned at first with fright written all over his face, but when he saw Elrohir he relaxed and smiled and greeted him. Elrohir made his way to the edge of the tub. "Today we are going to try something else, because I am sure you can do this." He stood up again and walked over and sat down upon a small table. "Remember I told Theodred a story yesterday?"

Legolas nodded.

"Very well. I will now tell you the same story, but I will sing it," Elrohir said, knowing that if Elladan had something to do with this elf being mute, then he would surely have heard this song many times before, as it had been their favourite song when they were wee ones.


"Eärendil was a mariner
that tarried in Arvernien;
he built a boat of timber felled
in Nimbrethil to journey in;
her sails he wove of silver fair,
of silver were her lanterns made,
her prow was fashioned like a swan,
and light upon her banners laid.

In panoply of ancient kings,
in chained rings he armoured him;
his shining shield was scored with runes
to ward all wounds and harm from him;
his bow was made of dragon-horn,
his arrows shorn of ebony,
of silver was his habergeon,
his scabbard of chalcedony;
his sword of steel was valiant,
of adamant his helmet tall,
an eagle-plume upon his crest,
upon his breast an emerald."


Elrohir sang, and then stopped, seeing the happy face on Legolas as he recognized the song. "What is next?" Elrohir asked.

Legolas gestured like mad, but Elrohir was relentless. "Beneath the Moon and under." he whispered. "You tell me and I will sing the rest."

He looked at Legolas as he apparently struggled with himself, but nothing happened. Elrohir sighed, his plan had failed. "Your bath must be cold by now, I shall be in the next room." He then got up and walked into the next room, waiting for Legolas to finish up.

The young elf opened the door and looked at Elrohir, who was looking at his drawings. "Star," he said with a little voice. "Star."

Elrohir's head snapped up as he heard those words, and he rushed to Legolas. "That is right, it's Beneath the Moon and Under Star!" he grabbed Legolas and swirled him around in the room. When he sat him down he hugged him. "Oh little one, you did it, you spoke!" He looked into Legolas' eyes which gleamed with happiness. "Theodred will be absolutely ecstatic!"

And Legolas giggled, and Elrohir had to hug him once more. "You have the most fantastic voice I have ever heard," he said with a smile, and apparently now that the dam had broken, sound came a bit easier to the young elf.

Theodred walked in the door seconds later and looked absolutely baffled at Legolas and Elrohir's happy grins. "What happened?" he asked as he took off his armour, letting it fall to the floor.

"He spoke," Elrohir said, trying to put a damper on his enthusiasm. "He has a voice, do you realise what this means?"

"He spoke?" Theodred looked flabbergasted. "What did he say?"

"Star," Elrohir answered, "but Theodred, this means that he has not always been mute, and with some tutoring we can perhaps get his memories to the surface as well."

"You spoke" Theodred said to Legolas, and Legolas blushed under the man's adoring gaze. Then much to Elrohir's amusement, the man strolled right up to the elf and planted a kiss on Legolas' lips, and as the elf wrapped his arms around the man's neck as the kiss deepened, Elrohir silently exited the room. This was a good day after all.

Don't save a prayer for me now.
Save it til the morning after
No don't say a prayer for me now.
Save it til the morning after

Feel the breeze deep on the inside look down into the well
If you can you'll see the world in all his fire
Take a chance (like all dreamers can't find another way.)
You don't have to dream it all, just live a day.

Pretty looking road I try to hold the rising floods that fill my skin
Don't ask me why I'll keep my promise I'll melt the ice
And you wanted to dance, so I asked you to dance

No don't say a prayer for me now.
Save it til the morning after
--Duran Duran – save a prayer



Rivendell
(3 months later)

Elrond looked at the letter that he had received from Lorien; it wore Celeborn's seal, so he guessed it was something about Elladan, there were also a letter from Glorfindel, and Elrond smiled and tore open the seal on Glorfindel's letter, as he read it he smiled, the warrior would never risk anything by writing a personal letter to him, but Elrond could read between the polite words, he missed him just as much as he missed Glorfindel, as much as he wanted his secret lover home, just as much did he want him to stay in Lorien forever if that was what it took for Elladan to get well.

He picked up Celeborn's letter and opened it; Elrond had thought he had braced himself for whatever news was in there, but this. Celeborn wrote that they had tried everything, and now even the lady had given up, there was nothing they could do for Elladan. And therefore recommended he should return to Rivendell. He had now totally closed himself into his own dream state world, and not even Galadriel could find him.

Elrond felt tears well up in his eyes, what should he do? Was there really no hope for his son? Where had he failed to see the hints? How had it gotten this far? He picked up his quill and wrote back to Celeborn, to send Glorfindel and Elladan home.

---

Rohan

Theodred dragged Legolas along, they had stayed out for too long, and now the thunderstorm was upon them, they had been bating in the little secret grove by the river, and now they had had to hurry on the horses and home, but upon their arrival, they handed over the horses to servants and when Theodred yanked Legolas, Legolas pulled back, and with amazing strength and ended up dragging Theodred into the garden, the lithe elf pushed the prince up against a large tree, the look he got made his cheeks fluster, "Ferret, there is a thunderstorm and.." the elf leaned forward and kissed him, "we are soaked.." Theodred mumbled against Legolas' lips, if the elf heard him, he didn't care one bit. He just bit Theodred's lip gently, and the man wrapped his arms around Legolas' neck

Legolas kissed his way up to Theodred's earlobe "Theodred" he whispered

The dark-haired prince had never heard a sweeter word in his life, sound itself send jolts down his spine, and a whimper escaped his lips, once he had thought he would never hear his name from those lips, but now that he had, it was more intoxicating than he could ever imagine.

Legolas pushed Theodred tunic up and the man raised his arms so it would come off easily, the rain splashed down on his bare chest, but he didn't mind, instead he started to pull off the elfs tunic as well, to Theodred surprise Legolas started to unlace his suede pants. They had kissed and gently touched, but this was new, this was.. What he had waited for so painfully long, and never had dared to take the initiative for, but the elf made him very well aware that he was ready.

The sight of Legolas that knelt in front of him, removing his pants made his erection twitch in anticipation. But he reached down and grabbed the elfs arm gently and pulled him to his feet, the slanted blue eyes shone of something he had never seen before in them. Theodred stepped out of his pants and dragged Legolas into a embrace "I love you" he whispered

Legolas smiled and returned the endearment he didn't understand with a gentle bite to Theodred's shoulder. The man opened Legolas' pants as well, letting his obvious arousal bob out, and to Theodred surprise the elf blushed, but Theodred just wrapped his arms around Legolas waist and rubbed himself against the smooth skin of the elf, as were he feline.

The little moan that spilled from Legolas lips were the sweetest music Theodred had heard in his life, and right there he decided he would want to hear this sound over and over again until his body would no longer host his soul. Even though the experience here was delightful, the haunting images of Legolas when he was examining him in the bonfires light in the camp that day they had found him, kept returning, and Theodred made a decision, as he turned around in Legolas embrace, grabbing the tree trunk, pushing up against the elf, feeling as his hair stuck to his back.

The elf got the message, and started to kiss Theodred's back, moving down to his buttocks, as were he determined to keen a wail from his lover. And as he ran a finger over Theodred guardian muscle he got it. The man trembled and clutched his hold on the trunk, arching his back to feel more of his lover.

When he felt the elfs erection brushing against him he pushed back even more, almost loosing his grip on the slippery tree. He whimpered at this slow pace, he needed to feel his lover, it seemed like Legolas was a bit confused at the sounds, but in the end decided that they were of passion, not of fear. And he placed himself behind Theodred so he would slide in easily.

This was sweet torment, he had expected it to hurt some when there had been no preparation, but right now it just added to the excitement, and his heart hammered away as was it trying to make its way out of the ribcage. He felt the elf lean in over him and a hand slide down his arm until they laced their fingers. Legolas made some little timid thrusts, but Theodred needed to feel more, and he thrust back, trying to set the pace.

Legolas caught on and quickly trusted harder and faster, more self confident than before, and as a result Theodred felt his world spiral down towards the ground, he would be spend way too fast, this was beyond all fantasies, because this was reality. Legolas' thrusts had pushed Theodred up against the trunk, and with each push he felt his face rub up against the rough surface of the trunk, far away he heard the elfs voice moan softly and felt their laced fingers tighten.

The blood raced to his ears drowning out all sound as he felt the intense pleasure feeling spread with the haste of light through his body until every nerve was singing, he spend himself while tasting the blood in his mouth from his scratched cheek.

Legolas slowly moved off him, and Theodred turned around, hoping his legs would hold him. His lover almost frightened him when he looked so scared, and Theodred whipped some droplets of blood from his eyebrow "don't worry about that, I can always say I fell from the horse" Theodred whispered, but still he leaned into the gentle touch when Legolas started to wiped off the tiny red drops. Theodred leaned in and kissed Legolas greedily as were he claiming his lover back "I love you so much" he mumbled and let Legolas push him against the trunk once more

---

Elrohir had stopped writing, and now was lost in the beauty of the thunderstorm, he was still not sure if it had been the right thing to do, what if Dinalu's heart was closed to him for ever?! He shook his head "don't be so pathetic Elrohir" he chided himself "you did the right thing"

He took a sip of his wine and returned to the task at hand. This letter had to go to Elrond without Theoden getting his hands on it, this was meant for his father's eyes only. He dipped the pen and wrote

Beloved father

I made amazing progress, the mute elf called Ferret by the residents of Rohan, now uttered a word. But his memory is disturbing me greatly, he knows Elladan, how and why I do not yet know, but it is dawning to me that this strange elf could very well be the long lost son of king Thranduil, who the world believed dead, but no one ever recovered his body, did they? Father, I am afraid that Elladan did something terribly wrong. I am keeping this knowledge to myself, and I ask that of you as well.

Tell my brother I love him and miss him.

I miss you.

Elrohir

He put down the pen and blew on the ink until it was dried into the parcel. he then rolled it up and branded it shut. "I'm sorry father, but I had to let you know."

What moon-songs
Do you sing your babies?
What sunshine do you bring?

Who belongs
Who decides who's crazy
Who rights wrongs where others cling?

I'll sing for you
If you want me to
I'll give to you
And it's a chance I'll have to take
And it's a chance I'll have to break

I go along
Just because I'm lazy
I go along to be with you

And those moon-songs
That you sing your babies
Will be the songs to see you through

I'll hear your song
If you want me to
I'll sing along
And it's a chance I'll have to take
And it's a chance I'll have to break
-- Smashing pumpkins - Luna


Rivendell
(2 months later)

Elrond had been waiting for Glorfindel and Elladan to return home ever since he had read the letter from Celeborn, and now a scout told him they were on their way. He wrung his hands worriedly and paced the room. Why couldn't he get some divine vision? Someone to tell him what to do. He suddenly found himself not only missing Celebrian's intellect but also Elros' advise. He was stuck here all alone, without a clue what to do for his sick child.

He had been meaning to write Arwen, but he was sure Celeborn had filled her in. "You are a coward, Elrond," he hissed at himself. He walked to the balcony and overlooked the Last Homely House's courtyard. It was almost dusk, but he was sure he saw a horse on the bridge far away. He turned and ran, as he hadn't run since he was a young elf, down the stairs, careful not to slip and hurt himself in his long robe. 'They are here.'

Glorfindel rode into the courtyard of the Last Homely House with an empty feeling. He was happy to be home, but he had wished he could have brought better news with him. Instead he had brought home a completely empty shell. On the way to Lorien he had been annoyed with Elladan's strange babblings, but now he missed it. All the way home the only indicator that Elladan was actually alive was his breathing and occasional blinking. He was almost like a soulless shell.

"Glorfindel! Elladan!" Elrond forgot about formal greetings and rushed to the large white horse that had both his beloved ones on its back.

"Elrond," Glorfindel sighed and lowered his head, "I am sorry there was nothing more that could be done."

Elrond paled, looking at his son. "What is wrong with him?" he whispered.

"The lady said that he preferred to dream," Glorfindel said with his head still bowed.

"Dream? He is lost to a dream?" Elrond said and raised his arms to take his son as Glorfindel handed him down from the horse.

Glorfindel got off the horse as well, and stood In front of his lord. "My lord, you have to know that he does not, talk, move, eat or." he took a deep breath, ".recognize anybody."

"Oh, my little baby," Elrond sighed and felt tears well up in his eyes. "What have you done to yourself?" He blinked the tears out of his eyes and looked up at Glorfindel. "We will have to set him up in his rooms; I cannot bear to have him in the healing wing."

"Of course," Glorfindel said. "I will get Erestor to help me. We will have it done in no time at all."

Elrond nodded. "Thank you, meldir."

Glorfindel couldn't help but to hush Elrond. "Watch what you are saying."

Elrond nodded weakly. "I forgot," he offered before he carried Elladan towards the main entrance to the Last Homely House. "There, there penneth. I am here for you now," he whispered.

---

Rohan

Theodred walked into the large hall and saw his father at the end, standing over his charts and notes as always with his advisors. These were times of faint peace, and he knew they had to hold those orcs and other foul creatures that lurked in the shadows. "Father?" Theodred called as he walked through the hall.

Theoden turned and saw his son. "My son!" He put his notes down on the table. "What brings you here?"

"You do," Theodred answered. "You summoned me yesterday."

"But that was yesterday," Theoden said and turned towards his advisors. "You may leave." Both the advisors and Theodred turned to leave. "Not you, Theodred. You stay here, for even if you are a day late for my summons. I still wish to speak with you."

Theodred turned to face his father and sat down at the foot of the throne. As Theoden sat down on his throne, Theodred asked, "Why did you summon me, father? Did I do something wrong?"

"No my son, you carried out all your duties perfectly," Theoden said and smiled at the young man. "It is something else, it is that stray elf of yours."

"What about him? He did not do anything wrong." Theodred said and quickly added, "It is not his fault I did not come when I was summoned yesterday."

"Peace, my son," Theoden said. "I just wanted to make sure you understood that he cannot stay here."

"What do you mean. father?" Theodred whispered and looked up at his father above him.

"The mute elf is now Elrohir's responsibility," Theoden said and rested his hand on Theodred's head. "You did right by saving him, but now he must return to his kin."

Theodred shook his head. "He is not ready yet, sire."

"If Elrohir says he is, then he is," the king said softly. Thinking of the promise he had made to Eowyn, to let the elves stay until Elrohir said they were ready for departure, for he had the best knowledge of elven endurance, and if he returned a dead elf to Elrond, it would surely look bad. "And you have a busy schedule during the next months, my son."

"I do?" Theodred said, completely surprised. "What will you have me do?"

"I summoned all the finest ladies to our halls, my son," Theodred said with a smile. "You are to pick yourself a wife."

"No!" Theodred gasped, "I cannot!"

"You can and you will, Theodred."

"Please, do not ask this of me, father" Theodred begged.

"You are to be king of Rohan, you need yourself a queen to provide you with sons when I am no longer here," Theodred boomed.

The prince visibly cringed. "Why so sudden, father?" he whispered softly.

"You will obey me, without questions, Theodred!" the king yelled as he stood up.

Theodred sprawled backwards and quickly got to his feet.

"I will have that elf moved to the other elf's rooms," Theoden said and when Theodred was about to protest, Theoden silenced him with a move of his hand. "I will have no more of this nonsense; you are excused."

"Yes father," Theodred hissed through his teeth. And as he made his way out of the hall, he thought to himself that he would get his father to eat those words

---

Rivendell

Later that evening Elrond sat at his son's bedside and read Elrohir's letter. "What did you do, Elladan?" Elrond whispered. "Did you harm that elf?"

He sighed and stood up, intent on writing a letter back to Elrohir, telling him the truth.

Glorfindel entered the door with a tray of food. "I thought you would be hungry by now," he said.

"You are a gem, Glorfindel," Elrond said and took the tray.

Glorfindel took a bowl of soup off the tray, and pulled out a spoon and cloth from his pocket. "You just eat, I will feed Elladan."

Elrond nodded but instead of eating he turned to Glorfindel. "Meldir?"

"Yes, my love?" Glorfindel said softly and laid a hand on Elrond's.

"Will you come and share my bed tonight?" he asked almost timidly.

"Of course, you have but to ask," Glorfindel said and captured Elrond's chin with his other hand. "Do you wish for me to stay until the morning?"

And Elrond smiled vaguely. "Yes."

"I will have Erestor watch Elladan tonight so I can dedicate myself to you," the blond elf whispered and leaned in for a kiss.

If you could see yourself now, baby
It's not my fault
You used to be so in control
You're going to roll right over this one
Just roll me over, let me go
You're laying blame
Take this as no, no, no, no, no

You've got a little worry,
I know it all too well,
I've got your number,
But so does every kiss-and-tell
who dares to cross your threshold,
or happens on your way,
Stop laying blame.
You know that's not my thing.
--REM – bang and blame

Elrohir had worked intensely with Legolas ever since he had discovered that the elfs inability to speak was not a handicap from nature's side, but rather a choice he had made at some point. He had really pushed the young elf until the verge of tears to remember something from before Elladan. But there was a back hole, Elrohir was sure some trauma of some kind triggered that, and he just knew instinctively that it had something to do with Elladan. His twin who was now fed with fluidly foods of others, Elrohir had a hard time understanding that, his strong-willed, never faltering, ever loving rock of a brother, spoon fed? He had wept bitter tears upon reading his fathers letter, and cursing Elrond for not letting him know just hoe bad it had gotten. He wanted to due his duty, he wanted to solve the puzzle of the mystery elf, he knew he had outlasted his welcome here at Rohan; he could hear it in Theoden's voice. He was almost sure that this elf was Dinalu's lost brother. But how on earth he had ended up here he did not understand, Legolas had disappeared as a child from the Mirkwood forest, and then if this was indeed him, he had resurfaced as an young adult in a city of men.. Elrohir pinched the bridge of his nose.. what was the facts then? This unnamed elf knew his and Elladan's secret sign language, and he didn't teach it to him, ergo Elladan had to have done that. He knew of Elrohir's childhood toys, Elladan once more. He did not understand a word of westron, but he did understand elvish. So it had no been men to keep him all this time, for the elf seemed intelligent enough, and he would have picked up a word or two in these hundreds of years. He had been running naked and terribly battered into Theodred and Eomer's camp, ergo he had been alone on the plains, not knowing how to defend himself. Legolas had not been mute, but neither was this elf, he had just chosen not to speak. He just looked so much as Dinalu Elrohir felt his heart cringe.

He stood up, how would he be able to determine it? How on earth should he get proof that this elf was Legolas? What had been Legolas favourite game? Now he knew, the little stone and stick animal farms. He smiled to him self "let us see if this works"

He looked out the window and saw Legolas outside sitting with Eowyn neither of them was talking, just sitting enjoying the last warm rays of sun. Elrohir went outside quickly, and roamed through a shrubbery picking up little stones and sticks. He then walked to where the elf and Eowyn was sitting "lady Eowyn" he said politely "forgive me for disturbing your afternoon, but I need to borrow Ferret"

"Prince Elrohir, but of course" she said with a smile

Legolas looked up at Elrohir with a slight frown, he was not in the mood for more interrogations, but Elrohir just smiled "fret not Ferret, I am not here to ask you questions, I have something for you"

The young elfs face lit up, and he made the sign for 'gift' – "that is right Ferret, but you wont have it before I hear you say it"

Legolas swallowed, he really wanted to see what Elrohir had, so he concentrated so much his eyebrows knitted "gift" he said with a soft voice

"Very well, you deserved your gift" Elrohir disposed of the little pile rocks and sticks in Legolas' lap "do you remember what you do with this?" he asked

Legolas nodded, but felt a bit silly, this was a children's game. He made the sign for 'children' and 'game'

Elrohir nodded "yes it is a children's game, and I know you are an adult.. Humour me Ferret"

Legolas nodded and slid down on the grass starting to build a little fold to keep the little rock animals in. Elrohir starred intensely, he was so sure "Legolas?" he said softly, and the blond elf turned his head with a confused look "have you heard that name before?" Elrohir said, he could almost 'taste' the victory, this was indeed Thranduil's lost son

And after some time Legolas nodded "aye" he whispered

"By the Valar!" Elrohir exclaimed happily but quickly dampened his outbursts "do you know where?"

Legolas sadly shook his head and gestured 'long' and 'time'

Elrohir still smiled "it is alright my friend, you did good"

Eowyn suddenly spoke looking at the elves "it sounds so pretty" she said

"What do?" Elrohir asked confused

"Your language" she said

Elrohir just smiled "Lady Eowyn, can I ask a favour of you?"

"You have but to ask prince Elrohir," she answered

"Can you get a letter to Mirkwood for me, it is of outmost importance that Theoden will not know of it" Elrohir whispered

"I can do that yes, but why? If I may ask"

"I think I might know who Ferret is, or uhm.. was" Elrohir said "but I need my spouse to come help me with the final piece of the puzzle"

"You do? How wonderful!" Eowyn said but quickly lowered her voice "I can do that for you prince Elrohir, I can't wait to see your husband"

"Neither can I" Elrohir said and stood up "thank you lady Eowyn"

Elrohir left the sunny spot in the gardens and returned to his rooms, his body tingled with fear and excitement. If Ferret was really Legolas then he would have to return to Mirkwood, but then what of Theodred? He had this feeling he just doomed their love, but he shrugged it off, telling himself that they would find a way if they really wanted to. He once more sat down in front of his desk and started the letter to Dinalu, asking him to come to Rohan as swift as possible, he called upon all the vows made as they bonded, and pleaded his husband to heed them and come. He rolled up the letter, now it just had to go to Mirkwood.

---

Theodred was in his chambers making ready to take a bath after a long day, they had just gotten in new recruits and the required allot of practice, when a knock was heard he thought it a servant or perhaps Elrohir, Ferret never knocked. "Enter" he called out as he was freeing himself from his leather armour, he turned and watched the person who had just entered "father?" he gasped "what brings you here?! I didn't not get a message that you wanted to see me, honest"

"I know my son, I just wanted to have a little talk with you" Theoden said and sat down in the chair with the large wolfs pelt "the last time we spoke we didn't part as the best friends"

"I know" Theodred answered "father do you mind that I ready myself for supper while you speak?"

"Not at all" Theoden said and took a deep breath "I understand from all of this that your infatuation of this nameless stray elf runs deep, am I right?"

"From all of this?" Theodred yelled from the bathroom, "Gossip you mean"

"You can call it gossip if you wish" Theoden said "but it is true, is it not?"

Theodred emerged in the door between his bathroom and his chamber "why do you ask me something like that? Since when did you get an interest in my friends"?

"Since you bed them," Theoden suddenly growled

"Father!" Theodred exclaimed "if you are just going to sit there and accuse me, then I would prefer it if you would exit my chambers the same way you came in!"

"You got this all wrong Theodred, and 'do' lower your voice" Theoden said calmly "I agree, it is non of my business who is in your bed, not yet"

"Yet? What is that supposed to mean?" Theodred asked and sat down on his bed, looking at his father while he wrung his hair

"You 'will' marry a noble woman and produce an heir to the realm, 'that' is my business, and as long as that is happening, whoever you chose to folly around with, is non of my concern" Theoden said smiling at his son

"But.." Theodred said

"Do not lie to me Theodred, you always were a terrible liar" Theoden sighed, "it is not like you two are discrete in your affection, all of Rohan knows who is the flavour of the season in the princes' bed"

"Must you make it sound so tasteless" Theodred whined before he stood up "so this is your reason for being in such a hurry to get rid of Ferret and Elrohir?" Theodred crossed his arms in defiance

"I do not have to answer to a snotnosed child" Theoden sneered

And Theodred looked down at his bare feet "no sire, I forgot my place" he whispered though gritted teeth

"You are forgiven my son" Theoden said as he also rose, holding out his hand so Theodred could kiss his ring.

And he did, battling with a vile taste that lingered in the back of his mouth we will see about this Theoden king, master of old goats he thought to himself as he let go of his sire's hand.

there's a kid who had a big hallucination
making love to girls in magazines
he wonders if you're sleeping with your new found faith
could anybody love him
or is it just a crazy dream

and if i show you my dark side
will you still hold me tonight
and if i open my heart to you
and show you my weak side
what would you do
would you sell your story to rolling stone
would you take the children away
and leave me all alone
and smile in reassurance
as you whisper down the phone
would you send me packing
or would you take me home

thought i oughta bare my naked feelings
thought i oughta tear the curtain down
i held the blade in trembling hands
prepared to make it but just then the phone rang
i never had the nerve to make the final cut
-- pink floyd - the final cut


Irmo sat at the pond's edge and splashed his feet in the water. This was the only sound at all, and Elladan was unusually quiet. "What is amiss my love?" Irmo asked.

".. Nothing" Elladan whispered and faked a smile. "I am just tired."

"Tired?" Irmo said and raised a brow. "Now 'that' I don't believe, you will have to increase your lying skills if you are to make me believe it."

Elladan sighed. "You wouldn't understand anyway."

"Who said I wouldn't understand? You haven't even given me a chance."

"I heard my father yesterday," Elladan said with a sad voice.

"And you miss him?" Irmo asked as he reached for his beloved, squeezing Elladan's shoulder.

"Yes," Elladan sighed, "I miss all of them." He turned his head and caressed Irmo's hand with his cheek. "Most of all I wish Elrohir was here."

"You can just wake up, my love," Irmo said with a hint of melancholy. "They would all be there."

"I know," Elladan murmured, and looked up at his beloved, "but you would not."

Irmo shook his head. "No I wouldn't." He looked away from Elladan and down on his feet in the water. "I cannot journey with you to Middle-earth."

"That is why I am staying here in your gardens," Elladan said and took Irmo's hand in his and kissed it. "I don't care about Middle-earth when you are not there."

"Elrohir will be coming home soon, you realize that don't you? Your father can't keep this a secret from him much longer," Irmo said darkly.

"He is?" Elladan perked up but instantly felt bad about his outburst. "I didn't mean to imply that..."

"Oh Elladan," Irmo whispered and turned his head and watched his young love. "I know you love him, and I know that I can never compete with him in your heart."

"Don't say so," Elladan said. "You make it sound like I would dump you like a hot piece of coal, come Elrohir."

"Perhaps you would," Irmo said.

Elladan shook his head. "Never, I would never treat you like that, I love you, and I love your gardens. I would stay here forever if you would let me."

Irmo laughed hollowly. "But you have yet to be confronted with Elrohir." The Valar pulled his feet up from the water and wrapped his arm around his knees. "Don't be so sure you would not hear his call."

"Don't, my love." Elladan pleaded. "I would never leave your side."

"Not even for your twin?" Irmo asked.

"No, not even for him, I swear this, Irmo."

Irmo pulled his hand back. "Do not make promises you cannot keep, Peredhel."

Elladan didn't answer but just slowly stood up. "I love you, Irmo, why won't you hear me when I say so?"

Irmo didn't turn and look at the young elf. "I am the Valar of dreams, young Elladan," he said coldly. "Do not think I have not seen what you dreamt of doing with your brother, and I do not mean stealing your father's horse."

"I.I." Elladan stammered.

"I wont judge you," Irmo answered, "but you claim you love me, yet you lie to my face - I know you would hear your brother's call."

Elladan didn't answer; he just hung his head and walked away from the pond. He needed to be alone, he needed to think - he needed his family.

---

Erestor was sitting and reading to himself, drinking some tea made from hibiscus. Elladan stirred slightly on the bed, and Erestor looked up over the top of the book. "Elladan?" he whispered.

The form on the bed didn't answer, he just curled into a little ball and sobbed.

"Oh, by the Valar! Elladan" Erestor gasped before he threw away the book and ran to the bedside, taking the half-elf's hand in his. "Elladan? Elladan? Can you hear me? - It is I, Erestor."

"Elrohir," Elladan cried broken-heartedly. "W-where is Elrohir?"

"Oh sweet Eru," the dark-haired advisor sighed in relief. "He is in Rohan, penneth, doing your father's bidding."

"Make him come home," Elladan whispered. "I have something to tell him."

"I will fetch your father for you, and you can tell him," Erestor offered while he lovingly stroked Elladan's tear-streaked face.

"No," Elladan mumbled, already drifting away again. "Erestor, I trust you, bring him home to me."

"But Elladan," Erestor whispered, but Elladan didn't answer, he was lost in his dream again. "Elladan? Elladan?" Erestor called, and as he didn't answer Erestor sighed. "I can only try, penneth."

---

Mirkwood

Dinalu walked with determined strides down to the stables. He had been wavering for a fourth night, but he came to the conclusion that he should at least aid his husband when he begged for him to do so. He had been afraid to go to Rohan, for what if Elrohir had found himself another lover? What if what they had together was gone? His father had made him aware he was

being unjust towards Elrohir, and of course Thranduil was right, he ways was in an annoying way. Elrohir loved him, and he loved Elrohir. Why did this have to be so hard?

He had prayed and prayed to Irmo not to let him have dreams of his husband. He just couldn't bear to wake up in an empty bed. And in the end it had become too much for him, he had wanted to follow his husband; he would have crawled to Rivendell if that were what it took. But his father had stopped him from leaving Mirkwood back then. Thranduil had made him aware of his responsibility towards his people and the royal house, but Dinalu didn't care. He had only wanted to see his husband. But again Thranduil had prevailed, and Dinalu had stayed. And when he got the first letter from Elrohir he had not known what to believe, and thus he had gone to his father once more asking for advice. And the king had said, if he really does love you, he will call for you. Dinalu had not been so sure, he had been more afraid that 'he' was the one to call Elrohir. But now, after 1½ years it finally came, the letter he had been waiting for. The letter where Elrohir begged of him to come join him.

"My son?" Thranduil said softly, yet startling Dinalu.

The prince of Mirkwood turned. "Father," he said, smiling brilliantly.

"Where are you going in such a haste?" he asked even though he knew the answer somehow.

"To Rohan, father," Dinalu said. "How did you know I was on my way?"

"I am the king, my son. It is my duty to know all things in my kingdom, and especially the ones that concern my son." Thranduil followed Dinalu to the stall where his horse was. "You know I was standing right here when Elrohir left, as well."

"I know," Dinalu said in a sad voice as he opened the stall door and patted the horse, before he threw a saddlebag over its back. "I won't be away for long, father."

"You can take the time you want my, dear son," Thranduil said as he too patted the horse. "I hope he is sincere in his beckoning."

"I know he is," Dinalu said and mounted the large brown horse. "I cannot ignore our wedding vows like that. If he really needs me, I will aid him -no matter where he is."

"Farewell Dinalu, and I hope you return as a revived soul," Thranduil said, looking up at his son, who now most of all had begun to look like an animated corpse. His year long solitude and lack of lust for life had gotten to him, and when he had announced that he wished to remain here no longer, but to join his mother in Aman, Thranduil had panicked. He had asked Dinalu if he had told Elrohir, for at the least his bonded mate had the right to know, and then Thranduil had put his faith in Elrohir. He had hoped and prayed that Elrohir would find some love in his heart for Dinalu, and either come home or call him to his side, and this was exactly what the young half elf had done. He was not so useless after all.

"Thank you, father. Do you have any message for Rohan I can carry with me?"

"Nay," Thranduil said and moved out of the way. "Take care, my son, and come home soon."

"Yes, father," Dinalu said and spurred his horse to trot quickly out of the stables and over the courtyard.

---

Rohan

Theodred paced his room. He wondered if Elrohir and Ferret had moved in together all right, and if Ferret understood any of this. What if he thought that it was Theodred himself who had sent him from his side? - "Oy," Theodred sighed and slumped against his windowsill. Nay, Elrohir would surely make Ferret understand.

He felt a little sting from the inside. Was he a little jealous of Elrohir's capability to 'talk' with Ferret, where he, Theodred, had none? So far he had only understood the sign for 'nice' and for 'bird' and then of course his own name.

He needed to stand up to his father, yes! That was what he should do! Make him understand that he did not want to marry some lady from some other noble house; he wanted Ferret, but how? If he spoke like this, Theoden would surely send Ferret further from his side, and then what would he do? He was Theoden's only heir, and he could not leave Meduseld - there had to be a way, there just 'had' to.

He sighed once more. Who was he kidding? Theoden would never in his life accept a bond between his heir and an elf. Even less a male elf. He would just have to find a discreet way to address that matter. But no matter how he twisted and turned it, he could not find any, and he was more and more sure that the love he felt for his Ferret was doomed from its beginning.

You've been hanging from a rope of mediocrity
Strung up by your insecurities
You can shine for me
Somebody has to
Shine for me
It's difficult not to
Shine for me

Follow our stars under a painted sky
We'll leave the world behind
We're learning how to fly
We used to get by

Somebody has to
Shine for me.
-- Depeche Mode - Shine


Dinalu could see the watchtower of Meduseld from afar. He wondered what it would be like to meet Elrohir there. He had been doing some thinking on this trip. He didn't quite understand what had made him react like this; he had thought his heart to be closed toward his spouse - but Elrohir's pleading letter had pierced through all of his well built defenses, and he had discovered that the love still lingered there. And so he was on his way.

The butterflies welled up in his stomach as he got closer to the city of Rohan.

---

Elrohir spotted the horse from afar and he turned to Theodred, who was standing next to him. "It is Dinalu," he whispered.

Theodred squinted his eyes to see something. "Who? Where?" he shook his head and sighed. "How can you tell"?

"He is wearing the royal colours of Mirkwood, of course," Elrohir stated and smiled a sad smile. "You should go and greet him."

"Me?" Theodred said, surprised. "It should be 'you' who greets him."

"I." Elrohir sighed, "I don't know what to say."

"I will fetch my father, and you will go greet your husband," Theodred said, and upon seeing Elrohir's wavering expression he added, "That is a direct order."

The dark-haired elf nodded in annoyance. "Of course," he whispered and left the large platform.

---

He stood at the gate of Rohan and waited. He watched the rider come closer, and he 'knew' Dinalu had seen him as well. He felt his heart twitch at the sight. It was easy to be annoyed with him when he was not there, but now when he was within his sight, he could only feel his heart swell with loneliness.

Suddenly he was there. Elrohir nearly panicked when his husband got off his horse and walked towards him. "Greetings, Elrohir of Rivendell," he said and bowed slightly.

"Prince Dinalu of Mirkwood," Elrohir said as he clasped his hands behind his back so Dinalu would not see how much he trembled.

"You sent for me," Dinalu said.

"Yes," Elrohir said, his voice just above a whisper before he offered a professional smile. "Come, I will take you to see King Theoden."

Dinalu followed Elrohir. "Did you summon me all the way from Mirkwood to see King Theoden?"

"No," Elrohir admitted, "but you need to see him first"

---

Both elves emerged from the great hall at the same time, and Dinalu turned towards his husband. "Elrohir?" he said softly, "did you really send for me to aid you with the mystery elf?"

Elrohir looked up at Dinalu with an unreadable smile. "Yes and no," he said.

Dinalu cupped Elrohir's face and smiled sadly. "Then tell me, why did you send for me, and not for one of your fathers advisors?"

"Because," Elrohir whispered and swallowed hard, "I had my reasons."

Dinalu let go of Elrohir. "I am sure you did," he sneered as he turned away in an angry move. "I cant believe I came all the way to Rohan for you," he hissed as he moved away.

"Wait," Elrohir said out loud and held out a hand towards his husband.

Dinalu turned around and looked at his husband.

"I." Elrohir started as he let his stretched out hand fall to his side. "I am really grateful that you came."

"Anything for my bonded mate," Dinalu spat.

"What is wrong with us?" Elrohir suddenly whispered and took a step towards Dinalu. "Is there really no love left?"

Dinalu looked up and down Elrohir. "I.I don't know the answer to that, Elrohir," he said. "Look at you!" Dinalu made a gesture at Elrohir. "You look like a man!"

"What are you saying?" Elrohir whispered.

"I am saying you look like a man, not an elf," Dinalu answered sadly. "You wear their clothes, you even braid your hair like one."

"I did not know," Elrohir said as he began to fumble with the end of his single plait.

"I rest my case," Dinalu whispered as he turned around once more.

Just then Theodred came down the large corridor with Legolas at his side. "There you are, Elrohir," he called. "We were looking for you."

Elrohir turned and looked at the couple with a faint smile. "Theodred, Ferret," he said softly, "meet Dinalu." He gestured towards the blond elf next to him.

Theodred nearly lost his jaw as he gazed at the blond elf. Other than Ferret, Theodred had never seen a real elf before. And this Mirkwood elf was even more beautiful than Elrohir and Ferret together. "He is your.."

"Husband, yes," Elrohir said with a little nod before he turned to Dinalu. "This is why I called you. Take a close look at the elf at Prince Theodred's side."

Dinalu took a step forward, and stared at Legolas, until Legolas shook his head. "Dinalu?" he whispered.

Dinalu blinked rapidly. "Legolas?"

Legolas beamed. "Dinalu," he repeated.

"By the Valar! You live, it is really you!" Dinalu gasped and opened his arms for Legolas as he moved into an embrace he had missed for hundreds of years.

Theodred moved to stand next to Elrohir and together they watched the two brothers reunite for the first time in many mortal lifetimes.

"We should leave," Theodred whispered with a thick voice.

"Yes," Elrohir whispered back but was reluctant to leave. This whole scene gave him a sting in his heart. What they had lost between them, he felt like he had given Dinalu back ten fold.

Theodred yanked Elrohir's arm and the half elf turned to follow. He would speak with Dinalu later.

As they walked away Theodred whispered, "What now?"

"It is all left up to Dinalu," Elrohir whispered back, but upon seeing Theodred's anxious face he added, "If Legolas really loves you, then you have nothing to worry about, little one."

"Legolas." Theodred mumbled. "It will be strange to call him that."

Elrohir smiled. "It means green leaf."

"I still like Ferret better," Theodred sulked.

---

As Elrohir came to his chambers he noticed a scroll on his desk. It bore the seal of Rivendell. "Oh father, what now?" he sighed as he sat down to open the letter.

As he read it tears streamed down his face. "You should have told me, ada," he whispered to himself.

He stood up and slammed his fist into the large desk, not knowing how to get rid of his anger. He did not even hear the door open, but he stopped abruptly when he saw Dinalu standing in the door with Legolas.

"Elrohir," Dinalu said and stepped up to his husband.

"What?" Elrohir sighed.

"How long did you know my baby brother was alive?" Dinalu asked as he leaned in over the table looking icily at Elrohir.

"I wasn't sure," Elrohir, said, ignoring the cold glare from his beloved husband. "I wrote you as soon as I was somewhat sure it was him."

"I know what you are doing, Elrohir!" Dinalu sneered. "You are covering for your deranged brother once more."

Now Elrohir stood up and pushed Dinalu away from the desk. "You can call me all the names in the world, you can say you hate me, you can break out bonding vows, but don't take my brothers name in vain."

"I am taking Legolas home to Mirkwood with me," Dinalu said and placed his palms on the desk once more. "Far, far away from you and your kin."

Elrohir blinked and tried his hardest not to look hurt. "As you wish; he is no longer my responsibility." He looked over at Legolas who stood timidly behind his angry brother. "I am sorry Legolas, Ferret."

"Fine," Dinalu said and turned to leave.

Suddenly Elrohir threw his ink bottle across the room. "If I had known it would be like this, I would have dumped him off at the borders of Mirkwood," he cried.

"Maybe you should have," Dinalu answered calmly.

Elrohir sat down in his chair once more. "Leave me," he whispered, his voice breaking.

Dinalu walked to the door and pushed Legolas gently in front of him. He then turned to Elrohir once more. "If your brother hurt him in 'any' way, I will hunt down that insane mongrel myself and kill him, you have my word."

Elrohir didn't answer but just rested his head in his hands and sobbed; you won't have to search long to find him, he thought to himself, flinching as the door slammed shut.

You say you can't trust me
Have you tried ?
You say you don't love me
That's a lie
There are so many so many rainbows
That we were to climb
But baby baby why can't we survive ?

We've got to get our heads untangled
And free our state of mind
The difference is why,
the difference is why

Sometimes the scales get unbalanced
Don't you know the reason why ?
The difference is why
Yeah ! , the difference is why
Does this have to mean goodbye ?
-- Lenny Kravitz - the difference is why


Rivendell

Elrond waited until he was sure his trusted advisors was seated before he turned around in a dramatic gesture "my trusted advisors, but most of all my beloved friends" he said and looked at Glorfindel and Erestor "I have come to a decision regarding my eldest son" he said, and both the summoned elfs looked down at their hands.

"I will send him to Aman" Elrond said with a pained voice

Erestor gasped and Glorfindel just stared at his lord "is there really no hope for him to mend?" Erestor said

Elrond shook his head slowly "I do not think there is, but I will do as Elladan asked, I will send for Elrohir"

"What about the mute elf?" Glorfindel said

"This is my 'son'! I right now I am not worried about a stray elf" Elrond said sounding a bit more irritated than intended.

"Forgive me" Glorfindel whispered and looked back down on his hands in his lap, it was not like Elrond to loose his compose this easy, but then again it was not every day he had to send his eldest son from his side.

Elrond sighed and smiled sadly "I understand your worry Glorfindel, but you must understand mine"

"Shall I then make preparations my lord?" Erestor asked timidly

"No, I will make the preparations myself" Elrond said and sat down in his large chair behind his desk "you can send these letters to Arwen and Elrohir" the lord of Rivendell handed Erestor 2 scrolls.

"I will" Erestor mumbled

"That was all my lords" Elrond said "now we just have to pray that sending him to his mother is the right choice"

"Yes" Glorfindel and Erestor said in unison.

---

Rohan

Elrohir's first thought had been to send a servant, but somehow that would just look like he was backing out, so he had decided to bring Legolas' personal belongings to Dinalu's chambers himself, he put down the box with Legolas drawings and some clothing, before he knocked the door "Dinalu? Are you there?"

The door flung open and Dinalu stood there as had he known it was Elrohir "what do you want?"

"Legolas had some of his belongings in my chambers" Elrohir said and bend down to pick up the box and hand it to Dinalu

"Oh, thank you" Dinalu said softer than before and took the box from Elrohir

Elrohir knew this was his cue to leave, but he still stood in the door "when will you be leaving for Mirkwood?" he said while he kept his gaze fixed on the door knob

"The day after tomorrow" Dinalu said and walked into his chambers to put down the box.

"Oh" Elrohir sighed "I should leave, I need to pack my belongings as well, I should be heading home" he turned reluctantly from Dinalu's door

"Elrohir, we need to talk" Dinalu said to his husbands back

"We do?" Elrohir spat "I was not aware that there was anything left to talk about"

Dinalu just watched Elrohir as he turned to face him again "we should at least find a way to settle this" Elrohir just looked at him with sorrowful eyes, and Dinalu continued, "to annul our vows"

Elrohir bit his lip as he walked past the doorstep and into Dinalu's chamber "if that is what you wish" he said and sat down heavily in a chair, wearing a mask of indifference upon his face

"You started it, now finish it" Dinalu spat

"I started nothing" Elrohir said, still looking away from his spouse "you asked me to choose between you and my twin" he turned to look at the blond elf "and that is the one thing I cannot do"

"Why can't you see he is dangerous?" Dinalu whispered

"Because he is my 'twin' Dina!" Elrohir cried "my mind knows he did something terribly wrong, but my heart wont see it, I love him, I love him more than I love myself"

"And apparently more than you loved me" Dinalu whispered more to himself, than to Elrohir

"That is not true" Elrohir said as he calmed down some "I loved you like nothing else, you were the other half of my soul Dinalu, I left my home to be with you" he shook his head slowly "but you cannot ask me to choose, I simply refuse"

"You wont have that problem anymore" Dinalu said with a fake sternness as he stood up "I had hoped we could somehow reconcile upon my arrival here, but you are lost to me" Elrohir looked up at Dinalu clenching his jaw not to cry "but I had suspected this, so I had my fathers chief advisor draw up a parcel to officially renounce the bond" he blond elf moved to stand next to the small desk in the room "all I need is your signature here" he pointed down on a paper "and you are free to indulge yourself in mortal men, and insane brothers"

"please don't Dinalu" Elrohir whispered

but Dinalu just pointed at the paper once more "do not think me stupid, son of Elrond!" he yelled "I know who you were kissing before I came along, and I know what you did while I was not here"

Elrohir paled, how could he know?! His mouth formed a 'O' but no sound came

Dinalu on the other hand felt his tears begin to run, hot and wet down his cheeks "you bedded him didn't you?" he cried

"No!" Elrohir whispered "I never bedded anyone but you since I met you"

"I meant your brother" Dinalu roared, "You bedded your brother didn't you?"

Elrohir broke into heart wrenching sobs "w-we didn't realize..." he cried, Elrohir looked up at his husband "h-how did you k-know?" he mumbled "we.. We made a pact that day" a new sob surfaced and Elrohir shook his head in denial "he swore.. He swore"

"Your precious Elladan didn't break your pact Elrohir" Dinalu said while he sat down on the bed to look at Elrohir who cried so had he had difficulty breathing "but someone saw you, someone observed you" the Mirkwood prince whispered with a voice full of malice "she saw every single stolen kiss, every hidden touch"

"You lie" Elrohir suddenly yelled

"Do I now?" Dinalu asked somewhat calmly "but I didn't care, I loved you from the second I saw you, even with this knowledge"

Elrohir refused to look up, and whispered, "Why are you doing this?"

Dinalu stood up once more and pulled Elrohir to his feet "see I know this pact you speak of so freely Elrohir, and I know why you wish to have your brother around" he pulled Elrohir towards the table with the scroll "because our love was always a lie" he whispered almost sensually in Elrohir's ear "you would touch my body and think of your brother, wouldn't you?"

"No, I have never..." Elrohir whispered

"If there is any even remote caring left in you, then you will sign here" Dinalu said and planted a quill in Elrohir's trembling hand

Elrohir raised his head and looked at Dinalu, then to the pen, the paper and back to Dinalu. "No" he whispered, "I wont! No matter if you believe it or not, I meant every word of my bonding vow, I will not sign this parcel and make me a liar" he dropped the pen to the floor and raised the hand he had been holding it in to caress Dinalu's cheek, he wiped away his husbands tears and whispered "all this time you were afraid, and I did not see why"

Dinalu closed his eyes crying silently

"You were afraid I would love Elladan more than I love you" Elrohir whispered "this is the reason for your reluctance with the bonding" Elrohir ran his thumb over Dinalu's trembling lips "tell me, husband mine. Why did you? Why did you bond with me if it was all a lie?"

A sigh escaped the blond elfs lips and his eyes fluttered open "because I loved you, and I convinced myself that making you my husband would chase away all the demons"

"And did it?" Elrohir asked

"No" Dinalu sighed "the more I loved you the more the thought of loosing you ate away my heart, until there as nothing left but.. Claim, you were my prize Elrohir, you were my victory"

A hurt expression surfaced on Elrohir "did you share your life and bed with me to get back at Elladan?"

"No" Dinalu said quarried "I did all of that because you were mine, and your love was mine to have, not his"

Elrohir paled and slowly removed his hand from his husband's cheek "I will sign that paper of yours, if it is true that my love did nothing but make you into this hateful being in front of me" Dinalu nodded slowly but as Elrohir bend down to pick up the quill, Dinalu grabbed him and pulled his husband into a kiss, at first Elrohir felt himself melt into the long lost touch of his husband, but then he suddenly struggled to get free "let go of me" he mumbled into their kiss

Dinalu let go but looked utterly confused "why? I thought you wanted... "

"And I do" Elrohir gasped taking a step back from his spouse "but not like this" he took a deep breath "if you really think I have done a crime, and if you really take me for a despicable elf, I cannot argue with you" he hung his head and looked at his boots "but I implore you not to toy with my heart like this, I am not some wanton prize for you to claim"

the blond elf sat down on the spot where he stood, as if a puppeteer cut his strings. "I know" he whispered "and you are right, I lied. I 'did' love you regardless" he looked up at Elrohir who still stood "and I still do"

Elrohir kneeled in front of Dinalu with a sad smile "you had not need to lie for me to let you go, I will set you free if you no longer wish me as your spouse" he said and took Dinalu's hand "I tell you what, I went with you and bound myself to you because I wanted to, because I love you and will do so for the rest of my eternity, but I also love Elladan" Dinalu opened his mouth to object but Elrohir silenced him with a finger to his lips "let me tell you the truth" he whispered "I did bed Elladan, your spy is well informed, and we enjoyed each other more than once" and unreadable expression ghosted across Elrohir's face "but it was all in youthful frolic, we were very, very young Dina, we knew it was wrong, but it was also tempting and wonderfully decadent" Elrohir chuckled hollow to himself "we didn't think at all, and it is a very long time ago my love" the dark-haired elf shook his head "it only ever happened twice, and when I met you, we had not acted anything but brotherly for years before"

"Elrohir.." Dinalu whispered

"No, non of this now" Elrohir said "I don't know how you knew, but I can assure you that you are my husband because I love you with my entire being, but I understand why you would want to disown our vows, and I would forgive you for telling to world why you did so, and this leaves us with the parcel of yours, I will sign it now but know I do this for you, and not for me" with this he stood up and before Dinalu could do anything Elrohir had crossed his signature at the bottom of the page "now you can add liar to your list of my crimes" he whispered as he turned and left the room.

So when you say that you need me
That you'll never leave me
I know you're wrong, you're not that strong
Let me go

There are things
That I still have to learn
But the one thing I have is my pride
Oh so I don't want to
Hold you, touch you
Think that you're mine

I'm so cold
Inside
Maybe just one more try...
--George Michael - one more try


Theodred had been dreading this; he had known of his father's decision for the longest time, but he had yet to tell Legolas. He had wished that he would be able to tell him himself, but there was a problem with the language, so he had asked Elrohir if he would act as a translator. Theodred looked over and squeezed his beloved's hand. "Come," he whispered and dragged Legolas away to a secluded spot just outside the gates of the golden city. As they sat down in the long grass Theodred felt his heart hammer away, but there were no easy way around this. "Ferret?.. Uhm.. Legolas, I need to tell you something," he started.

Legolas squeezed his hand back and just looked at him.

"I spoke with my father, and." The young man wavered but continued, "he told me no prosperity would become of us. I am to marry a noble maid and produce a heir for this realm."

Elrohir explained this to Legolas. "Nuh uh," Legolas muttered and looked confused. He then said something to Elrohir.

The half elf smiled at Theodred. "He wants you to come home with him."

"But I can't," Theodred whispered. "Please tell him that I am an only son; there is no one else to take this duty upon them."

"Nuh uh," Legolas said again and lay his other hand on top of Theodred's.

Theodred sighed but smiled happily. "I love you, Ferret, and your iron will... but my father said."

Legolas just shook his head and gestured like mad at Elrohir, and Elrohir paled as he shook his head violently. "No Legolas, I won't do that!" he said.

Theodred looked at Elrohir worriedly. "What is wrong?"

"Legolas wants me to persuade Dinalu to smuggle you out with them," Elrohir said, then he gave Theodred a stern look. "It is dangerous to even think about, remember that." Theodred nodded and used his free hand to pull his warm cloak around him more tightly to shield him from the autumn wind. "If you do this, you risk a war on your hands, but if you stay you will certainly lose your heart's desire."

Theodred shook his head. "I don't know what to do, Elrohir."

"A war can be averted by diplomacy; if you lose your heart you will have to live with it forever," he whispered as he ran his palm over Theodred's hair and cheek. "But you need to think hard, and I am afraid you don't have much time."

Theodred looked at Legolas, who smiled a brilliant smile at him before he rested his head on the mans shoulder. "I don't think I need to think any longer," Theodred whispered.

Elrohir nodded. "Then I will speak with Dinalu on your behalf." He then turned to talk with Legolas, who absolutely beamed as Elrohir spoke. The young elf turned around and kissed his lover passionately on the lips.

And Elrohir rose to his feet. He wrapped the cloak around himself and pulled up the hood. "I wish you all the luck in the world," he said as he left.

---

Rivendell

Elrond sat at Elladan's bedside and looked at his son. "Elladan? Will you please wake up? I miss you."

To Elrond's surprise, Elladan's eyes fluttered open. "Ada?" he slurred.

"Yes, oh my baby. I missed you so much," Elrond said softly and pulled Elladan's limp body close.

"I miss you too," Elladan mumbled. "Where is Elrohir? Where is my brother?"

"On his way, my sweet," Elrond lied, but he didn't know what else to say.

"I want to speak with him," Elladan said, sounding almost as if were he drunk. "I want him to make his decision with me."

Elrond had to fight off tears. "I already made that decision for you, my son."

"Elrohir, I want Elrohir."

"Listen, my precious, I am sending you to the undying lands," Elrond whispered, stroking his son's hair lovingly. "You are going to see your mother soon."

"Ships? I get to sail the ships?" Elladan whispered back, lolling his head from side to side.

"Yes my love, you get to sail the ships." The lord of Imladris was glad he had come here alone, for at this moment he was not sure he could have tolerated another elf's eyes, as the tears he had fought for so long began to fall.

As if on cue, Elladan started to sob pitifully. "Elrohir.. I want him here."

"I p-promise you, Elrohir will follow you to the g-grey havens," Elrond stuttered, resting his forehead against his son's. "He will come take you there."

"Irmo is calling me," Elladan whined, "but I want to stay here a little longer."

"Yes, stay here," Elrond said, "stay with me."

"I can't."

Elrond watched as Elladan closed his eyes once more.

---

Rohan

For the second time in 2 days Elrohir knocked on Dinalu's door, and when no one answered he turned the doorknob and peeked inside. "Dinalu?"

Dinalu emerged from the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around him, and he smiled at Elrohir. "Good evening, Elrohir," he said courteously. "Please come in and close the door."

"Yes, thank you," Elrohir said puzzled, and did as Dinalu asked.

"Please excuse me," Dinalu offered as he picked up the sleeping clothes on his bed and walked back into the bathroom. "I can hear you out here, so you can just speak."

"I spoke with Theodred and Legolas today," Elrohir said.

"And?" Dinalu called from the bathroom.

"They asked me to speak with you for them," Elrohir said and finally sat down uncomfortably on the edge of a chair. "They need your aid."

"Oh really?" Dinalu said as he emerged from the bathroom once more. "Why is that?" but upon seeing Elrohir so uncomfortable the blond took pity on him. "What aid can I possibly give them?"

Elrohir cleared his throat and smiled at Dinalu. "They are lovers"

"They are?" the Mirkwood prince gasped.

Elrohir nodded. "And unless you aid them, they will be separated when you take Legolas back home."

"Oh, I see," Dinalu murmured. "Care for a glass of wine?" He went to the cupboard and pulled out two glasses, holding one in Elrohir's direction.

"No, I." Elrohir sighed, "Yes please."

Dinalu poured a glass for the dark-haired elf and handed it to him. "Now, tell me in what way I can aid them."

Elrohir took a sip of the sweet wine, a little too sweet for his taste but he remembered his husband's taste for them. Ex-husband, he chided himself. "You must smuggle Theodred out of Rohan, and take him with you to Mirkwood"

"Are they insane?" Dinalu gasped. "Theodred is Theoden's only son; we will have a war on our hands!" He looked at Elrohir and shook his head. "And what are you thinking? To even agree on asking me of this?"

Elrohir nodded. "I know." He took a large gulp of the wine. "But Dinalu, they are in love, so very much in love, I cannot bear to smother that already."

"I see," Dinalu mumbled and took a large gulp of his wine as well. "I will consider it."

The Rivendell elf smiled awkwardly. "I will let them know." He then put down his glass on the table. "Thank you for seeing me, I shall leave you to your rest now." He slowly pushed the chair back and stood up. "I bid you a good night," he mumbled as he moved towards the door.

"Elrohir?" Dinalu said looking up at the darker elf while running his finger along the edge of the wineglass.

"Yes?" Elrohir answered and turned around looking at the blond elf. "Is something amiss?"

"I would say so, wouldn't you?"

Elrohir had no idea what to say so he just raised a brow, looking at his ex spouse sitting there, looking ever so tempting. He felt a sting in his heart thinking of the days where he would have gone and sat on Dinalu's lap, kissing his way up to that special spot behind the ear that made him mew so sweetly. "I am sorry, but I don't understand."

"Us, Elrohir.." Dinalu said and slowly looked up at the elf in front of him. "That feeling we used to call us."

"Oh," Elrohir sighed, "I thought we discussed that yesterday."

"Agreed," Dinalu said softly, "but I have done some thinking."

"Dinalu, please let me speak with my father first, he should know from me," Elrohir cringed visibly, "and not from strangers. I... he should know why his sons are not worthy of their title."

"Come with me to Mirkwood," Dinalu said before downing the remains of the wine.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, come with me to Mirkwood," Dinalu said once more and stood up, walking towards Elrohir.

"Why?" Elrohir whispered stepping backwards, away from Dinalu, who kept walking towards him.

"Because you are my dear husband, and we are going home," Dinalu whispered and smiled dangerously as he saw he had Elrohir cornered.

"But the document, I am no longer your mate", Elrohir whispered breathlessly, watching Dinalu as he stepped so close he could feel the warm breath of the other.

"I didn't sign it yet," Dinalu whispered back, "and maybe I never will."

Elrohir felt himself trembling under his husband's predatory gaze. "I thought that."

"You think too much, Elrohir," Dinalu breathed as he captured both of Elrohir's hands, and with a forceful move slammed Elrohir's arms up against the wall over their heads. "You half-elves are wicked and conniving beings."

Elrohir blinked rapidly as if he were trying to make sense of this. "Dinalu, please let go of me," he pleaded, but his only answer was a grim smile and he felt a lump form in his throat and an ice-cold feeling settle in his stomach. "You are frightening me," he whispered barely audibly. "Please let me go."

"Are you frightened, Elrohir?" Dinalu asked before licking a trail up his husband's cheek.

"Y-yes."

"Good," Dinalu responded, biting the skin on Elrohir's throat, feeling the pulse thunder away beneath the skin. "You are mine, my spouse, and you will yield and follow me to Mirkwood."

Elrohir was afraid to even breathe. He tried to answer but the words stuck in his throat.

Dinalu rubbed his pelvis against Elrohir in a fluid move. "You used to love this, what happened?" Dinalu smiled as he bit Elrohir's lip gently, pulling it out and letting go. He was savouring the sight of Elrohir's big frightened eyes. "I know, those smelly, hairy men right?" He chuckled to himself. "Oh, but I know what my naughty little sweetheart has been up to. What was his name? That pretty young man with the curly hair?"

"..."

Elrohir sucked in his breath as Dinalu licked his way up to his ear, sucking it suggestively before he spoke once more. "Eomer, right? I don't blame you, he is quite the catch," Dinalu paused, "for a mortal, that is."

"I.I y-yield," Elrohir whispered as he stopped struggling against Dinalu's hold. "I yield."

"I knew you would," Dinalu whispered back and with that he let go his iron hold of Elrohir, and let his arms fall down to his sides.

Elrohir massaged his wrists, looking up at Dinalu. "Why did you do that?" he asked.

"I don't know," Dinalu whispered, walking away from the wall and over to the bed, sitting down. "I tried so hard not to let it come to this."

Elrohir walked over to the bed and sat down next to his husband. "Don't ever do that again," he whispered. "For a second I feared you might strangled me, and I would have allowed you to do so."

Dinalu turned his head and looked at Elrohir. "I could never harm you," he said and caressed the little bite mark he had left on his lover's neck.

Elrohir smiled sadly. "Did you really mean that you wanted for me to go with you to Mirkwood?"

"Aye," Dinalu said and mustered a weak blush. "I did."

"You could just have asked me," Elrohir said and leaned his head on Dinalu's shoulder.

"Forgive me," the blond elf said, wrapping an arm around Elrohir's waist. "I have missed you so much, and I was not sure that my heart could take to see you ride out without me once more, and I knew how much you wanted to go home." He paused and cleared his throat. "And I was afraid that you would find love somewhere else, find pleasure in someone else's bed, that my love was not enough."

"Oh Dina," Elrohir sighed and pressed himself closer to his lover. "You should not believe rumours and half truths, I never did take Eomer to bed. And the pact I made with Elladan is not what you think."

Dinalu untangled himself from his husband and walked over to the desk where the document was still lying. He picked it up and looked at it before he gripped both top corners and ripped it apart; letting it fall to the ground. "There," he said and looked at Elrohir. "Let us make a new pact."

"Yes," Elrohir said, looking at his husband with a smile.

Dinalu took a deep breath. "If I swear to never speak of this again, will you stay by my side?"

Elrohir shook his head. "No, Dina, I want you to swear that if you ever feel insecure in my love for you, let me know so I can change your mind."

"I swear."

"I love you."

"I know."

I wish I was on yonder hill
'tis there I'd sit and cry my fill,
And every tear would turn a mill,
Iss guh day thoo avorneen slawn.

Shule, shule, shule aroon,
(come, come, come O love)
Shule go succir agus, shule go kewn,
(swiftly come to me, come softly move)
Shule go dheen durrus oggus aylig lume,
(come to the door and away we'll flee)
Iss guh day thoo avorneen slawn.
(and safe from aye, may my darling be)

I'll sell my rock, I'll sell my reel,
I'll sell my only spinning wheel,
To buy my love a sword of steel
Iss guh day thoo avorneen slawn.

I'll dye my petticoats, I'll dye them red,
And 'round the world I'll beg my bread,
Until my parents shall wish me dead,
Iss guh day thoo avorneen slawn.

I wish, I wish, I wish in vain,
I wish I had my heart again,
And vainly think I'd not complain,
Iss guh day thoo avorneen slawn.
-- Clannad - Siuil a run


Rohan
(a month later)

Elrohir took his knapsack and threw it over his shoulder. He looked at the room that had served him and smiled at the rumpled sheets. He shook his head and walked out, whistling a merry tune. He couldn't remember being in such a good mood. He was so happy for Theodred and Legolas. Their plan seemed to work, and he was happy to see Rivendell again, but still it burdened his heart to be divided from Dinalu once more. For a second he wondered if all married couples went through crises like this, but he shrugged that thought off when the only married couple that would come to his mind was his mother and father, and just the idea of his father having these issues with his twin made his skin crawl. He turned the corner and stopped before the guard of Theoden's hall, asking for audience with the king to thank him for his kindness while he had stayed here, and promising him some boon for his troubles. Oh yes, today he had his diplomatic mask on - he had to.

---

It was a self-assured elf that emerged from the king's halls once more an hour later. Now to the hard part. He had tried to insinuate to Dinalu that he would not follow them to Mirkwood. But his husband had not listened, and in the end Elrohir had given up, an had just nestled himself in the caresses that were once more given to him.

He saw the three of them in the gardens playing a game with large balls aimed at a smaller one. Apparently Legolas beat them to the verge of tears. And he heard the young elf laugh merrily as Theodred made an especially miserable shot. Elrohir stopped and lowered the knapsack on the ground. "Good afternoon, you three," he chuckled as aggravation over his misfortune in this game made Theodred smack Legolas on his bottom playfully. And Legolas squealed.

"Good morning, my love," Dinalu answered. "My wee brother seems to own this game," he laughed.

"So I see," Elrohir chuckled as he shook his head in amusement. "Dina. I, uhm wondered if." he said softly, playing absentmindedly with a braid.

"So you are leaving?" Dinalu said and sat down at a little stone bench, patting the spot next to him for Elrohir to sit.

"Yes," Elrohir mumbled as he sat. "I tried to tell you, but." he sighed and smiled at Dinalu. "I was afraid you wouldn't understand, and frankly I didn't try too hard. I had other things to concentrate on."

Dinalu smiled as Elrohir blushed slightly. "I think your husbandly duties were way overdue," he whispered, but upon seeing his spouses' sad eyes he added, "You are right, my flower, I do not understand."

"I'm sorry Dina, but I must return to my home." He reached out and caressed Dinalu's cheek. "I will be back with you before you miss me."

"Promise?" Dinalu whispered.

"I promise," Elrohir whispered back. "I will send word when I arrive and let you know when I can return."

Dinalu slumped his shoulders and looked away. "You don't have to." He looked over at his brother and the young man still discussing how to make the perfect throw. "As much as I wish I did, I do not own you."

Elrohir rested his head on Dinalu's shoulder. "I am just going to see my father and my sick brother, I am not leaving Middle-earth. I will return shortly. Especially if." he snickered, "you promise to show me that trick of yours."

The prince of Mirkwood lit up. "Oh, you would like that, would you?"

Elrohir smiled wolfishly. "Yes, keep coming up with these little tricks, and I will always return to your side," he teased.

"I'd better search my father's library for more information on this issue when I get home," Dinalu chuckled.

"I'd like that," Elrohir purred.

And so they sat and watched the young lovers for a while until the sun was almost high in the sky.

"I should leave soon," Elrohir whispered.

Dinalu nodded. "Yes," he sighed and turned his head to kiss Elrohir's forehead. "I cannot say I understand, but I promise I will trust your word this time."

"There you go," Elrohir chuckled and sat up. "Marriage vows are forever, you know, you will never get rid of me." But when Dinalu just looked sad and did not laugh, he kissed his husband tenderly. "I wish everything was different right now, but it is not, we both have to do as we must, and thus I have to ride out now."

Dinalu nodded once more and gulped down the lump that had formed in his throat. "Yes," he whispered, "you should say good bye to the young ones, and I will go fetch your horse."

"Thank you, my love," Elrohir said softly and stood up and walked over to the others. "Theodred, Legolas?"

Theodred turned around. "Yes?" He looked puzzled at the black clad elf in front of him. The tight braids were back in his hair, and even the little discreet silver circlet was in place. "What is wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, but I came to say my good-byes to you two, as I am leaving for Rivendell within the hour," Elrohir said and place a hand on each of their shoulders.

"Oh," Theodred whispered.

Elrohir smiled. "I will see you both soon," he said and suddenly embraced the young human prince. "Good luck," he whispered, "and may the gods be with you"

"Thank you, and may your horse carry you swiftly to you home," Theodred mumbled back as the elf let go of him.

Elrohir turned to Legolas, and said something that Theodred did not understand, but from the facial expression on the blond elf, it was about the same as he had just told him. Legolas hugged his dark-haired cousin tightly and then Elrohir turned to pick up his knapsack again. He walked over to it and threw it over his shoulder once more, before pulling the hood up, hiding his features in darkness. "Fare well," he said and gave them a gesture as he turned and left.

He had gotten to the stables and there both Dinalu and Eomer met him. There was a strange atmosphere there, but Elrohir chose to ignore it. He threw the knapsack over the horse's back and turned to Eomer. "Take care, my friend, you are truly a valiant man. I will pray you will have a prosperous future. May you have good health, many children and a wife who loves you."

"Thank you," Eomer said and suddenly embraced Elrohir, much to Dinalu's annoyance. "May your horse..."

Elrohir laughed and pushed Eomer away gently. "No more horse talk, I've already had wishes on the behalf of my horse."

Eomer shuffled his feet. "Oh, well might I wish its rider a pleasant and safe trip then?"

"Of course you may, Eomer," Elrohir chuckled. He reached over and gently lifted Eomer's head with a hand under the man's chin. "Eomer son of Eomund, you will make a mighty ruler one day, this I am sure of. It will come and you shall take the name of Eadig."

Eomer watched Elrohir with large eyes. "Do all elves do that?"

"Do what?" Elrohir said and removed his hand, taking the horse's rein instead.

"Make creepy premonitions," Eomer mumbled.

Elrohir laughed till he was in tears and then tenderly patted Eomer's shoulder. "Only when they are true, my friend," he said and smiled. "Now rest easy and fare well."

"Fare well, Elrohir son of Elrond," Eomer said as he looked after Dinalu and Elrohir who walked out the stables towards the main gate. He had no idea what Elrohir had meant with all that nonsense he had said before, but for some reason he felt it was not a blessing, it was a bad omen.

---

The plains

Elrohir turned in the saddle to see if he could still see Dinalu, but he could no longer even see Meduseld. This was the second time in two years he was leaving his husband behind. But he felt that he must hurry towards Elladan. The bright flame he used to feel from his brother was now just a small dull glow. Something was dreadfully wrong. Elladan had to be very sick, or. Elrohir paled. or fading.

---

Rohan

Legolas had come and fetched Dinalu when it was time for the evening meal. "Ah, Legolas," Dinalu had sighed with a smile. "Will you make Theodred understand we leave tonight?"

Legolas nodded.

"Meet me out in the stables when the moon rises," Dinalu whispered, and Legolas had nodded once more as he dragged his brother along inside.

It was a strange concept to him, to suddenly have his elder brother with him once more. He had been the part of the puzzle that had been missing. Though Legolas still missed Elladan sometimes, he had not failed to hear just how deep his brother's hate for his friend was. So Legolas had never spoken of Elladan, not because he had not asked, but because just as Elladan had watched over him, now he watched over Elladan. Dinalu would have left right this instant with a raised sword had he known for how many years Legolas had lived with his nemesis. And of Thranduil, Legolas remembered a radiant smile and lively eyes, but nothing more. How he wished he could remember his father's voice, or face. But no matter how hard he tried, nothing came to him. He had tried to tell Dinalu of his fears, but his brother had just laughed them away, telling him that their father would be over the top with happiness upon their return, as he had thought his son dead for hundreds of years. And Legolas wanted to believe that, but he was just not sure. What if his father had forgotten? He had lost a child, and here he returned as a adult, together with his mortal bound husband. Maybe Thranduil would not be so accepting of that. He knew he just had to trust Dinalu on this, but a part of him wished they had all gone with Elrohir to see Elladan instead.

---

After the meal, Theodred and Legolas went to their rooms, and Legolas started to pull out their riding clothes. Theodred quickly caught on, and felt his heart hammer away in his chest. They were actually going to do this now, there was no way out! Legolas handed Theodred his mantle and pulled the hood over the man's head. He nodded and held a hand before his eyes and pointed at Theodred.

"Oh, so no one will see me?" Theodred said and pulled the hood further up.

Legolas looked confused but then took a piece of paper. "Theodred look," he said with a terrible accent, but the young man didn't mind, he thought it sounded just wonderful. Legolas drew a hooded man and a not hooded man. A square with something that resembled a pig more than a horse, but Theodred could see where his beloved was getting at. The elf then drew yet another man and three horses in the square. He looked up at Theodred to see if he was paying attention, and when he saw that he was, he kept drawing. He drew a line from the hooded man to the stables and the other horses, and a line from the not hooded man to the burial grounds of the inhabitants of Rohan. "Look?" he said.

Theodred nodded. "I see," he said.

"You, me," Legolas said. And inwardly beat himself for being so slow at learning this mortal language.

"Yes, you and me," Theodred answered but sighed as Legolas shook his head. The young elf bit his lip and looked deep in thought until he drew two faces, one with dark hair and one with pointy ears.

"You," he said and pointed at the dark-haired face. "Me," he said and pointed to the pointy eared one. He then grabbed the mantle Theodred was wearing and said, "me."

"It is called mine," Theodred corrected him. But that only earned him a snort from the elf.

Legolas then drew a hood on the drawing supposed to be Theodred. "Me," he said and pointed with a triumphant smile.

"Oooooh" Theodred gasped, as he slowly understood. "You want me to leave the city dressed as you?" when Legolas just looked at him he rephrased it. "I am you," and Legolas nodded.

"You, me."

Nu i tveksamhetens tid (now in the time of confusion)
här i frågornas land (here, in the land of questions)
ber jag dig komma hit (I ask you to come over)
får jag hålla din hand (can I hold your hand)
får jag luta min panna (can I rest my head)
mot ditt trygga bröst (against your safe chest)
vågar jag be dig att stanna (dare I ask you to stay?)
får jag höra din röst (may I hear your voice?)

Låt mig låna din kraft (let me borrow your power)
jag kan dämpa mitt fall (so I can break my fall)
med tankarna på vad vi haft (thinking of what was)
och allt som komma skall (and what is yet to come)
får jag luta min panna (can I rest my head)
mot ditt trygga bröst (against your safe chest)
vågar jag be dig att stanna (dare I ask you to stay?)
får jag höra din röst (may I hear your voice)

När tveksamhet gror (when confusion rise)
då jag är långt från beslut (and I cannot decide)
då ingenting är som man tror (when nothing is what you think)
inget är som det ser ut (and nothing is what it seems)
får jag då luta min panna (can I rest my head)
mot ditt trygga bröst (against your safe chest)
vågar jag be dig att stanna (dare I ask you to stay?)
får jag höra din röst (may I hear your voice)
-- Lisa Ekdahl - Här I tveksamhetens tid (translated/mutilated by me)


Rivendell
(1 month later)

Elrohir resisted the urge to spur his horse and gallop right into the halls of the Last Homely House. He took a deep breath and smiled at the guard who saw him and turned his horse and hurried towards the homely house to tell the news. Elrohir sighed before he shook his head and spurred his in hot pursuit of the guard, but his horse was tired and the guard reached the courtyard before him. A female elf ran over the courtyard in a most undignified matter, and Elrohir had to laugh. "Arwen," he called, "you came home as well!" He jumped off the horse and his sister flung herself into his arms.

"Elrohir," she chuckled.

He put her down on the ground again and kissed her forehead. "I missed you, why did you never come visit?" but his sister's blush told him more than any denying comment she might add. "Oh, I see," he chuckled. "I shall leave you your secrets, sister."

Arwen smiled gratefully and waved at someone behind Elrohir's back.

Elrohir spun around and saw the tall seneschal of Rivendell come towards him. "Good day, Glorfindel," Elrohir said with a smile.

Glorfindel smiled a strained smile back as he walked over to the young half-elf. "Elrohir, you are indeed a sight for sore eyes."

"So? Where is Elladan? I must see him!" Elrohir said and looked at Arwen, who paled.

"You should go see father first," she said with sadness in her voice.

"No! I want to speak with Elladan, I can speak with father later," Elrohir said firmly, but when no one answered him he crossed his arms over his chest and looked back and forth between the two elves in front of him. "I did not ride all the way from Rohan to speak with Elrond."

"I know," Arwen said, "but trust me, you want to speak with father first."

Elrohir let out a very annoyed sigh. "Did you not hear me, sister dear? I wish to see Elladan, right this minute."

"She is right," Glorfindel said softly. "Lord Elrond made it quite clear you should go and seek him out the moment you came here."

"I can't believe this," Elrohir howled in a childish manner. "You are teaming up on me!"

"Why are you making such a issue out of it? You can just go and see father instead and then go see Elladan," Arwen said and crossed her arms over her chest in a equally annoyed move.

Elrohir sighed once more, but this time it was a sound of defeat. "You are right, you wrench. I will go see father." He ruffled Arwen's hair in a quick move. "Will you go with me?"

"I would be glad to," Arwen said and hooked her arm in Elrohir's before she hurried off with him.

---

Elrohir sat there in Elrond's office and listened to his father's tale of what had happened here in Rivendell, and his grandmother's feeble attempt at luring Elladan out of his state. Right then and there, all the pieces of the puzzle just came together, still they all fell apart. And had he just heard what he thought he had heard his father say?

"Valinor?" Elrohir gasped. "You are sending him to Valinor?"

"Yes," Elrond whispered. "I simply do not know what to do anymore, and he is so miserable."

"But Ada!" Elrohir protested, feeling Arwen squeeze his hand. "You cannot make that choice for him, he should, we were supposed to, I mean... I always thought that... no Ada, you cannot do that!"

"I know, my son," Elrond said as he looked up at his son with a sad expression.

"Believe me, I do not like this any more than you do, but there is really nothing left for him here."

"He speaks the truth, Elrohir," Arwen whispered.

"I don't care!" Elrohir spat. "I will hear no more of this, I want to see my twin." He looked at his father. "Where is he?"

"In his rooms," Elrond said leaning back in his chair. "But I feel I should warn you before you seek him out."

"Warn me? Since when was Elladan a threat to anyone? Leave me alone." Elrohir said, slightly annoyed.

"Oh no, my dear son, he wont hurt you. But you must know that..." Elrond paused searching for the most adequate words to describe it. "He has been bedridden for a long, long time Elrohir, he is not able to eat or groom himself, he even needs help to. uhm."

"In other words he soils his bed," Arwen said quietly.

"What?" Elrohir gasped. "No, you must be pulling some vicious prank."

"I wish," Elrond said and reached for Elrohir, who quickly stood up to avoid his father's touch. "Don't," he warned as with angry steps he stormed out of Elrond's office.

Father and daughter looked at each other. "That went well," she said.

"At least he did not attack either of us," Elrond said with a little smile.

"He needs time to adapt to the situation."

"I hope it's just that," Arwen replied.

---

Mirkwood

As they rode into the vast forest, Legolas' heart raced like mad. Home, he was finally home. but if this was home, why was he so frightened?! A scout had seen them enter the woods, and so when they arrived in the central square there was quite an uproar. Everyone came to see the long lost prince.

Thranduil came rushing out to the square as soon as his scout had told him that Dinalu was on the way, with another blond elf and a mortal man. Thranduil's heart had skipped a beat, could this really be?! But what if it weren't? What if he was only kidding himself and it was but an elf. But in his heart he knew he was right, this had to be his long lost greenleaf. Dinalu stopped in the middle of the square; he looked over his shoulder and nodded for the others to dismount from their horses. "this is your prince Legolas, my brother, long lost son of your king," he yelled to the gathered elves.

The elves bowed for Legolas.

Legolas looked at all these elves, feeling even smaller and more insecure. They needed not bow to him, he was but Ferret. He looked over his shoulder and saw Theodred standing behind him; he reached for his hand, relaxing a little when he felt his beloved caress his hand in a soothing gesture. He felt Dinalu reach for his shoulder and he looked in the same direction as his brother, and there he saw a huge elf emerge. This had to be Thranduil.

"Father?" Legolas said meekly.

Thranduil stopped in front of his sons. "Legolas?" he whispered, "it is really you, I always knew in my heart that you were not taken by wolves!"

Legolas looked up at Dinalu with large eyes, hoping that his brother would understand that he did not know how to answer that.

Dinalu smiled at Thranduil. "It matters not what has happened, the importance is what is to come."

"You speak wisely, my son," Thranduil said and smiled back before he pulled both his sons into an embrace. "Let us feast, for we are joined once more!"

Legolas smiled at his father. He sounded just like he remembered, he wanted to take in every sound and every smell, but it was all just too much, and once more he looked towards Theodred, who stood a few feet back from the family. Legolas smiled a timid smile at the man. They were home.

There's no need to argue anymore.
I gave all I could, but it left me so sore.
And the thing that makes me mad,
Is the one thing that I had,

I knew, I knew,
I'd lose you.
You'll always be special to me,
Special to me, to me.

Will I forget in time, ah,
You said I was on your mind?
There's no need to argue,
No need to argue anymore.
There's no need to argue anymore.
-- the cranberries – no need to argue


Elrohir sat at his brother's bedside, tears welling up in his eyes. "Oh Elladan," he whispered, gently brushing some greasy strands of hair from Elladan's face. If only he had known just how bad things were. He ran his fingers over his twin's sunken face; soup apparently wasn't doing him much good. "Oh, your freckles are gone," Elrohir stated, feeling his stomach twist in terror. Was he really dying? Was his brother really fading from life? "Elladan?" he whispered. "Elladan, can you hear me?"

A weak moan responded and Elladan's eyes fluttered open reluctantly. "Elrohir," he whispered, "you came."

"Of course I came," Elrohir exclaimed, feeling the tears intensify, running in streams down his cheeks. "Nothing could hold me away from you, not even father with a pitchfork," he said with a sad smile.

"El-Elrohir," Elladan just whispered, "I didn't think you would come."

"I already said I would," Elrohir said and raised a brow while reaching out to take hold of Elladan's hand. "Is there anything you need?"

"Oh Elrohir," Elladan croaked, "Ada said I get to sail a ship."

"A ship?" Elrohir said surprised, but then realised what it was Elladan was speaking about. "No one is sailing anywhere," he whispered softly. "I am home now, it's time to wake up, sleepyhead."

"But the ship?" Elladan said with a frown.

"No ship, Elladan," Elrohir said with a smile, "but we could go horseback riding. You would like that, wouldn't you?"

"Yes," Elladan whispered weakly, squeezing Elrohir's hand.

"Come now, it is time you got yourself a bath." Elrohir said.

"Elrohir, I didn't think you would come," Elladan slurred.

"But I already said I would... Elladan, you are making no sense," Elrohir said, annoyance creeping into his voice. "Wake up, princess, it's time for a bath."

"You came," Elladan said on the verge of sleep again. "You came."

"Yes, I came," Elrohir wanted to scream, but it only made it over a whisper. "I came home, Elladan."

"Yes," Elladan breathed.

"Wake up, Elladan, don't fall asleep." Elrohir shook Elladan, whose eyes fluttered open once more. "Wake up for me, please."

Elladan looked directly at Elrohir. "Stay with me?"

"Always," Elrohir vowed and kissed Elladan's forehead. "Should you ask it of me, I would never leave Rivendell again."

"Don't make more vows you will break," Elladan said with a frown, and managed to pull his hands back away from Elrohir's.

Elrohir looked away from his brother's hurt expression. "No," he just stated, "I won't."

"But you did," Elladan whispered. "You broke your promise to me."

"I know," Elrohir sighed feeling miserable, before he turned around and buried his brother in a hug on the bed. "Forgive me."

"Were you happy?" Elladan suddenly whispered.

Elrohir raised his head and looked at his twin. "What do you mean?"

"Tricking Dinalu like that?"

"I... I..." Elrohir whispered, feeling hot all over his body, and his heart racing in panic.

"He knows of our secret," Elladan whispered. "I told him."

"You?" Elrohir gasped. "But he said..." Elrohir's mind raced. "You told him? – Why?"

"Because you are mine," Elladan stated weakly.

"Don't," Elrohir whispered as Elladan's hand rested on Elrohir's chin, dragging him down towards his own. "Please don't."

"But I love you so much, I love you too much," Elladan whispered. "It is eating me up inside."

"Elladan, please stop," Elrohir begged as their lips met.

"Why? You were mine before you were his," Elladan whispered softly, kissing his brother's soft lips again.

"It was a MISTAKE!" Elrohir yelled and pushed away from Elladan with so much force he fell on the floor himself.

Elladan let out a sobbing sound and with much effort curled himself in a little ball on the bed. Elrohir quickly got up and curled himself around his brother. "Forgive me," he whispered trying with force to turn Elladan around. "I didn't mean that, I... I... y-you know I love you, Elladan."

"No you don't," Elladan mumbled.

"Yes I do," Elrohir admitted holding his brother even more tightly than before. "There is no one I love more."

"Yet you married that blond," Elladan hissed.

"I love him as well, Elladan; he is my husband," Elrohir whispered, knowing he would not want to hear this. "You are my brother, and I love you too".

"I wanted to be your husband," Elladan mumbled, entwining his fingers with Elrohir's. "By Eru, Elrohir, I did everything to make you love me."

"I'm sorry Elladan, forgive me," Elrohir mumbled. "I didn't know..." it was the best explanation he could give, for this. And he was sure Elladan thought the same as him.

"Why did you keep coming to my bed back then? If you did not care for me like a lover," Elladan mumbled.

"...I...I..." Elrohir whimpered, "do-don't know." For a moment an odd silence lingered in the room until Elrohir whispered, "I was confused, and I still am."

But no answer came. Elrohir popped up on an elbow and looked at his brother, but to his surprise he had fallen asleep. Elrohir turned him around to his back and caressed Elladan's cheek, brushing away the tears that had formed in the dark lashes. He bend over and kissed his brother's secretive smile and whispered, "I am sorry."

---

The next days Elrohir didn't leave his brothers side, but even slept in the same bed, until it got to the point where Elrond started to worry about his other son's sanity. But Elrohir seemed to cope all right.

Late one evening Elrond came into Elladan's chambers, finding Elrohir putting on a clean sheet for his brother. "Elrohir?" he said softly.

Elrohir turned his head but kept struggling with the sheet ."Ada, what brings you here?"

"You do," Elrond said and sat down at the far end of Elladan's bed. "You have not spoken with a soul for days, are you coping?"

Elrohir nodded "I have been thinking, Ada, nothing more." He looked down at his father with a sorrowful gaze. "You are right, his place is not here anymore."

Elrond locked gazes with his son. "And where does that leave you, my son?"

Elrohir dropped his composed facade and rushed to his father, kneeling on the floor, wrapping his arms around Elrond, and cried his heart out in the lush robes of his father. "Lost," he sobbed.

Elrond ran his hand over Elrohir's hair. "Me too," he said. "I know how you feel, maybe better than anyone."

Elrohir just cried and cried, until he had no more tears to shed. "Let me bring him," he mumbled. "Let me take my brother to the havens."

Elrond just nodded not trusting his voice for a moment. He knew the pain Elrohir must be feeling, remembering too well what it was like to lose a twin himself, although Elrond knew Elrohir had to be clinging to the hope of reuniting with Elladan in the undying lands, just as he himself hoped to.

"It is all my fault," Elrohir mumbled with a hiccup from crying. "I should never have left Rivendell, and because of my selfishness, Elladan did something very terrible." Elrohir started crying again. "All my fault!"

"Oh Elrohir, it is not your fault Elladan did this to himself," Elrond said.

Elrohir was just about to tell what he had discovered about Elladan and Legolas, but decided to keep it to himself, taking it to his grave if necessary. Their father needed not know this.

And so they sat, father and son, for hours, not a word spoken, but in silent understanding.

---

Mirkwood

Some time had passed, and in this time Legolas had felt his father watch him closer and closer, hovering over him until he knew every single move he made. And now he had been summoned to his father's court. Standing here, waiting for Thranduil to speak was absolutely nerve wracking. He had no idea what he had done, but something had displeased his father, for he looked as if he was trying to say something, and finally he called him up to sit next to him. Legolas went there quickly, not wanting to aggravate his father further.

"Legolas," Thranduil said softly, looking at his son. "Something has come to my ears, and I wish to know if it is the truth." Legolas nodded and Thranduil continued, "This man you brought with you here, are you.... ehm, involved with him?"

Legolas just looked at his father. "Involved?" he repeated.

"Uhm, yes," Thranduil said. How on earth should he phrase this one? "You take him to your bed, right?"

Legolas smiled a little mischievous smile. "Aye" he said nodding, looking up with and puzzled expression. Why on earth was his father asking him this?

"You do know he is the heir to the throne of Rohan, don't you?" Thranduil said, smiling understandingly at his confused son, who just nodded. "Then you understand that he cannot stay here, right?"

Legolas paled, not again. "No," he said, shaking his head. "I don't want to."

"Well, I'm sorry Legolas, I wish you nothing but happiness, but he is a mortal man, and he is the sole heir to his father's realm. He needs to go back and marry someone to be his queen... surely you understand that," Thranduil said, but the now stubborn look upon Legolas' face told him he didn't. "His bloodline will end there, that would be a terrible loss to his realm, and we might all risk open war." He looked sternly at his son. "You do not wish that, do you? War—"

"No," Legolas whispered, "but if he is going back, so am I."

"Oh Legolas, that man twisted your mind. You cannot continue to see him, it will come to no good."

"Nobody twisted anything!" Legolas suddenly yelled hotly. "I love him!"

"Even when he dies?" Thranduil said, knowing he delivered the death blow to his son, but still his hot-tempered little rascal needed to face reality. "Oh yes, he will die, but you will not. How will you carry on, my son? With nothing but a vague memory of the love you once had?"

"I care not," Legolas said, but judging from his pale face he did...this he had never considered. That Theodred one day would be old and feeble, whereas he would still look as he did today.

Thranduil looked at his shocked son. "Please my sweet, that your time and think about this, but heed my words."

"I will, father," Legolas replied in a barely audible whisper, before he silently left his father's court, determined to seek out his brother and have him talk sense into Thranduil.

I hope you know that this will go down on your permanent record
oh yea
well don't get so distressed
did I happen to mention that I'm impressed

I take one, one, one cause you left me and
two, two, two for my family and
three, three, three for my heartache and
four, four, four for my headaches and
five, five, five for my lonely and
six, six, six for my sorrow and
seven, seven n-no tomorrow and
eight, eight I forget what eight was for and
nine, nine, nine for a lost god
ten, ten, ten, ten for everything, everything, everything
-- Violent femmes - kiss off


Leave, yes, that was the only reasonable thing to do. He needed to get out, to go home, to. To save Legolas from the heartache he would bring. Thranduil had been right, he could never ever fill the void in Legolas' life that a mate should. In comparison to Legolas, his own life would burn out fast, and leave his beloved with pain. Why had he never thought of that? He should have listened to his father; he should never have come here. He should have stayed home and married some maid, and lived his life like a good regent should, not run off with some fantasy lover, thinking that it would last forever.

He had reached the stables when he noticed Dinalu apparently just coming home from a ride. "Theodred," he called.

Theodred smiled, trying to hide his tear-streaked face in the shadows, so Dinalu would not suspect something. He nodded and turned into the horse's stall. He almost screamed when he turned around and found Dinalu behind him. Damn elves and their soundless footsteps.

"Theodred," Dinalu said once more, looking up and down at the young man. His eyes were squinted with suspicion. "Leaving?" he asked.

Theodred slumped his shoulders, not knowing what to say, and just nodded.

Dinalu shook his head and elvish streamed out in a rapid angry sounding way. Theodred had never thought that elvish could sound this angry. And even though he did not understand a single word, the meaning didn't escape him. He was being told off.

Dinalu grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the stable. Theodred thought of putting up a fight for a second, but Dinalu's hold was just too tight. And he had no choice but to follow. Dinalu marched right into Legolas' chambers and let go of Theodred.

Legolas looked up from his book and blinked confusedly. Dinalu continued his stream of angry words. Legolas paled and looked at Theodred. "Why?" he said.

"I. uhm. the king made me aware that..." he sat down on the bed. "I'm sorry," he sighed.

Dinalu smiled at Theodred and Legolas. Perhaps Theodred was annoyed with him right now, but he couldn't care less. Never again would he allow happiness to be destroyed by misunderstandings and others interfering. Not understanding Westron speech at all, he just stood there and looked at Theodred, until Legolas turned and said, "Father talked him into it."

"Father," Dinalu grumbled, and turned, leaving the room, hastening towards the royal chambers.

Legolas pushed back his chair and walked over to Theodred, sitting down next to him. He turned Theodred's face to look at him, and made the sign for I love you.

Theodred felt tears well up in his eyes. "I didn't mean to leave, but the king is right. I will grow old and die, long before you are even considered a true adult with your kin. Then what?" Despair got the better of Theodred and he hid his face in his hands.

Legolas still wished he understood the Westron speech better, but was able to pick up some of the words, and the desperate tone in his beloved's voice. "Don't cry," he said.

Theodred laughed through his tears. "You have a terrible accent," he said, raising his head and wiping away his tears.

Legolas just looked at him smiling, looking slightly worried. He was totally oblivious as to why his beloved was laughing, nor did he really care. He was just glad that he was at least looking at him. He turned and crept up on Theodred's lap, resting his head against the man's shoulder.

"Everything will be just fine," Legolas mumbled, kissing his mate on the chin and jawline.

"Yes," Theodred whispered, a bit embarrassed that he had despaired like that

Legolas held Theodred's face in his hands and forced the man to look at him. "Everything will be fine," he said once more, looking intensely at his beloved, hoping his message went through. "Stay."

Theodred swallowed the lump that formed in his throat and smiled. "Everything will be fine," he whispered, looking into those large blue trusting eyes, leaning forward to kiss his elf. "Ferret," he murmured with a smile.

Legolas smiled too. He liked being Ferret. He liked it so much more than being Legolas of Mirkwood, not that he was not glad that he had found his family, but all in all he was just Ferret. He knew why Theodred was despairing, and he would lie if he said that the same thoughts had not crossed his mind. But he was sure that they would find some way to overcome whatever obstacle that was to come.

"Mhhm," Legolas murmured in response, wrapping his arms around Theodred's neck as he pushed them down on the bed. "Never worry," he whispered and kissed Theodred gently.

"With you around, never," Theodred whispered against the elf's lips.

Legolas reached up and began to unlace Theodred's tunic, kissing the soft skin as it was revealed, feeling the young man relax under him. Theodred was so easy to read, he thought to himself with a smile. Finishing off the last knot, he reached the navel, tugging at the waistline of Theodred's leggings. He stopped and looked at the man under him with a smile, and reached down and pulled up the shirt a bit so he could tie it around Theodred's wrists over his head. "Mine," he whispered hotly and licked along the man's rounded ear.

"Yours," Theodred whispered back, closing his eyes, feeling Legolas caress his chest, reaching down over his stomach and lingering on the fabric that restricted his erection. When nimble fingers began to untie his breeches he arched up his back. Little beads of sweat formed on his upper lip and forehead, as he squirmed slightly in anticipation.

Legolas slowly pulled off the man's pants, pushing Theodred's thighs apart and nestling himself between them. Resting his head on one thigh, caressing the other with a tender teasing stokes, he kissed the sensitive inner thigh, and reached for a candelabra that stood on the bedside. As he was moving it to the floor, swinging it over Theodred, he spilled little droplets of wax on the man's belly.

Theodred hissed from the sudden pain, but to his surprise it made him feel vulnerable, naked and hot, and his erection twitched.

Legolas looked at the man in surprise, and smiled to himself. Putting the candelabra down, he picked up a single light and dropped some single drops in Theodred's navel. Theodred arched up, and moaned softly, as Legolas stroke the man's member at the same time. Pain and pleasure, the perfect combination, he thought to himself. Legolas couldn't help but to get immensely aroused from the sight of Theodred lying in the dim light, with his eyes closed and his legs widely spread, as if he were willing to take whatever came from him. Legolas felt his heart beat a little faster at the prospect of so much trust, he gave Theodred's erect member a long lick and carefully turned his hand so that some of the liquid dripped out on his hand and made a trail down Theodred's stomach. The man hissed and purred, not sure what he felt, but he knew it felt good.

The elf smiled and moved his head further down, to give a lick from the guardian muscle and up over his sacs and up to the top of the head of the penis. Theodred moaned pitifully and Legolas got to his feet, leaning over and kissing his lover. The intensity of Theodred's returned kiss took him by surprise, but he was more than happy to find that his little accident with the candle was such a success. Theodred squirmed and Legolas knew his lover was growing frustrated that he couldn't touch the elf in turn, but not this time. This time Legolas would have it his way, and no interfering.

Legolas locked his gaze with Theodred, and the intense desire he saw in them went right to his groin. He kissed the man once more and then stood up. He slowly pulled off his worn leggings, loving the way Theodred tried to find an angle to see him. He stepped out of his leggings, and with a swift move tossed away his tunic, crawling on top of Theodred, kissing him once more. The man

wrapped his long legs around Legolas and struggled weakly with his restriction on his wrists. Without a word Legolas shifted a bit with his hips, and rested his erection against Theodred's opening, the man squeezed him with his legs, as if to tell him to move on. And he did, with a long fluid move he slowly moved inside the tight passage, while sliding his hands up and entwining his fingers with Theodred's on the bed, over the mans head. "Gods I love you," Theodred panted, holding an almost painfully tight grip on his lover.

Legolas smiled. He didn't have to know Westron to know what that meant, and so he kissed his way up to Theodred's ear and whispered, "I love you," in his own native language.

It didn't take Legolas long to set a pace in their lovemaking that neither of them could outlast, and with a soft growl the elf climaxed inside his lover. Theodred felt the spasms moving though Legolas body, and just from that he too reached completion without anybody ever touching his arousal

The elf kissed Theodred softly as he slowly let go of his fingers, starting to untie the shirt around his wrists, and with a sigh,

Theodred was finally able to wrap his arms around his lover.

---

Elrohir watched as some elves prepared the carriage that was to hold him, Arwen and Elladan. It was richly decorated, and for some reason Elrohir found it somewhat tasteless. He was taking his brother to the havens, never to return, and the wagon was decorated as if it were a joyous moment.

He turned from the window and nearly bumped into Arwen, who stood behind him in a long dark blue cloak. "Brother," she said with a sad voice, "this is for you." She handed him a midnight coloured cloak like her own.

Elrohir took it and put it on, pulling the hood up so it covered his face in darkness. "Let us not tarry any longer," he said. Arwen nodded and followed her brother to Elladan's chambers. She felt like a bystander when Elrohir picked up his twin, her brother, and kissed his forehead. "Let us take you home," Elrohir murmured.

Elrond stood at the carriage and watched Elrohir carry Elladan out. This whole scenario almost broke his heart, knowing how much heartache it had to cost his son. Well aware of how he himself felt, and how terrible it had to be for Arwen, he knew this grief was tenfold for Elrohir.

When Elrohir reached the carriage, he got in, still cradling Elladan, not saying a word to his father, not trusting his voice, and not

knowing what to say. Arwen stopped and hugged their father. "We will be home soon, Ada." Elrond nodded and kissed his daughter on her forehead. "Take care of him."

Arwen smiled and let go of Elrond. "I will look after Elrohir."

Elrond smiled and braced himself not to cry as Arwen got into the carriage and the whole caravan began to move. The guards who were assigned to accompany the carriage began to sing a hushed ancient ode to Middle-earth. He had not noticed that Glorfindel had come, but as a large hand sneaked into his, he knew.

Let me watch by the fire and remember my days
And it may be a trick of the firelight
But the flickering pages that trouble my sight
Is a book I'm afraid to write

It's the book of my days, it's the book of my life
And it's cut like a fruit on the blade of a knife
And it's all there to see as the section reveals
There's some sorrow in every life

If it reads like a puzzle, a wandering maze
Then I won't understand 'til the end of my days
I'm still forced to remember,
Remember the words of my life

There are promises broken and promises kept
Angry words that were spoken, when I should have wept
There's a chapter of secrets, and words to confess
If I lose everything that I possess
There's a chapter on loss and a ghost who won't die
There's a chapter on love where the ink's never dry
There are sentences served in a prison I built out of lies.

There's a chapter on fathers a chapter on sons
There are pages of conflicts that nobody won
And the battles you lost and your bitter defeat,
There's a page where we fail to meet

There are tales of good fortune that couldn't be planned
There's a chapter on god that I don't understand
There's a promise of Heaven and Hell but I'm damned if I see

Now the daylight's returning
And if one sentence is true
All these pages are burning
And all that's left is you

Though the pages are numbered
I can't see where they lead
For the end is a mystery no-one can read
In the book of my life
-- Sting – book of my life


Theodred was sitting in Legolas' private chambers, watching the ink dry on his letter. It was the hardest letter he had ever written, but at the same time the most liberating. Dinalu had talked to Thranduil, and in the end the king had allowed Theodred to stay, and with time, when he got used to it, perhaps he'd let him woo his son. Theodred smiled at this. He couldn't wait until he was officially allowed to show his love for Legolas.

He had tried to write this letter a million times, but how was he to explain to his father that he intended to stay in Mirkwood till the day he should perish? The only way he knew was to just disown his inheritance, saying that he was lost to Rohan, and that Eomer would make the most valiant successor where he himself had failed, in choosing his heart over his people. He chose to stay here with the woodland elves, until his weary body should rest in their soil.

Legolas sneaked up behind his lover and wrapped his arms around his neck from behind. "Meleth nin," he whispered in the young man's ear. Theodred rested his head back, looked up at his lover, and his heart sped up. "Meleth nin," he whispered back - it was the right decision, yes! And in this moment he was sure that King Theoden had never in his life experienced love like he had. If he had, he would never had tried to end their union.

---

The Grey Havens

Elrohir dismounted from his horse, and walked over to Arwen, helping his sister down from her grey horse.

"Let us go greet Cirdan," he said, taking Arwen's hand and leading her towards Cirdan's little house. They found him in the back, feeding the seagulls, cheering to himself as they caught the dry bread in the air like little flying acrobats.

"My lord Cirdan?" Elrohir said, squeezing Arwen's hand.

The white-haired elf turned around and smiled at the two half-elves. "You must be Elrond's children. I have been awaiting you."

"Yes my lord, I am Elrohir and this is Lady Arwen," Elrohir said with a smile. "I trust my father has sent a message regarding our arrival."

"He did," Cirdan said with a smile. "I have heard rumours about your exquisite beauty, lady Arwen, but now I see they were all true." The elven lord smiled at the female elf and then turned to Elrohir. "And you look every bit as regal and brave as your father."

"Thank you," they said in unison.

"Now." Cirdan said with a sad smile, "who will steer the ship?"

Completely dumbfounded, not having given that a thought, Elrohir looked at Arwen and said, "I will, I will take him to Valinor."

"No!" Arwen gasped. "You cannot do that!"

"And just why not?" Elrohir said.

"Because you would break too many hearts, Dinalu's, father's and mine," the female elf said burying her brother in a embrace.

"But he is my twin," Elrohir whispered pitifully.

"He is my brother as well," Arwen said in a chiding tone, pulling from the embrace, looking at Elrohir. "But so are you."

Cirdan looked at the youths, smiling. "Come, let us carry your brother onto the boat, and then decide who is to sail, giving all time to think."

Elrohir nodded with grim determination, worrying Arwen.

They helped each other pulling Elladan out of the wagon; Elrohir cradled his twin to his chest, giving in to his tears, making everyone present look at the ground in sorrow. "This was not how it was supposed to be, brother mine - you were supposed to be happy, hunting, riding, loving and singing. Not lying limply in my arms," he whispered. "It is so unfair."

"He chose this, Elrohir," Arwen said softly, wiping away tears from her brother's cheeks. "Never forget that. No one knows why, but he chose to do all these things in his mind instead of in life."

The little crowd of elves followed Cirdan and the young half-elves to the ship. "So," Cirdan said, "the ship needs a captain."

"You will stay,," Arwen said hotly stomping her foot on the ground, looking every bit like their mother when she was angered. "I will not have you throw away your time here like this! And besides. We will meet him again regardless."

"He will be with mother, right?" Elrohir whispered weakly.

Arwen nodded. "Yes, mother will take care of him and nurse him, and when we leave these shores, he will wait for us on the white beach."

"Oh, I want to believe that," Elrohir whispered.

"Then it shall be so," Arwen said.

Cirdan turned to the little crowd of Rivendell guards who had accompanied them there. "Will any of you steer the ship?"

The elves looked away, none of them willing to leave family and friends just yet. But then one little elf stepped forth. "I will steer the ship, my lord," he whispered.

"Are you sure?" Cirdan said. "You realise that you cannot return here, once you set foot on the white shores."

"Aye," the little Noldor elf said, raising his head to meet Cirdan's eyes. "I have no family or lover here, they all reside in Valinor, and my heart greatly desires to see them again. But I made a vow to Lord Elrond, and so I have no other obligation here on Middle-earth than to serve my lord."

Cirdan smiled a loving smile at the young elf. "I cannot think of any better way for you to show your affection for your lord, my friend."

"Thank you," the little elf said.

---

Hours Later

Elrohir had placed Elladan in a narrow bed in the boat, and had kissed his brother goodbye, until Arwen had dragged him from the boat and unto the shore. "Do not prolong your sorrow, my brother" she had said. And Elrohir had just followed in a dreamlike state.

The little elf had hugged his friends and walked aboard the ship. "What is your name, my friend?" Elrohir said, grasping the elf's wrist.

"Arod, my lord," the elf said.

"I will have the minstrels compose a song in your honour." his voice broke and he let go of Arod's wrist. "Ta-take care of him," he whispered.

"I will, my lord Elrohir," Arod smiled. "I will guard him with my life."

Elrohir nodded, failing to find the words to answer. H just watched Cirdan removing the board to the boat. This was a nightmare, he told himself, and every happy moment they had shared as children flashed through his mind. "We will meet him again soon, right?" he whispered through his tears, leaning on Arwen.

"Yes, that I promise," Arwen whispered back, wiping her own tears away with the back of her hand.

They watched the boat disappear into the horizon, and Arwen rested her head on her brother's shoulder. "You should ride to Mirkwood," she whispered. "You should be with your husband."

Elrohir nodded. "Will you return to father?"

"Yes."

---

Years later - Rivendell

Dinalu and Elrohir lay back on the bank of the Anduin, feeling the afterglow on the rocks from the day's hot sun warm their bodies. This was the time of the midsummer festivities, and so guest had arrived from afar. And much to Elrond's joy, Elrohir had come with both princes of Mirkwood and the prince of Rohan, now Legolas' bound mate and a grown man. It had worried Elrohir to see how fast it seemed the years left their mark on Theodred, but had chosen to rejoice in Legolas' love instead of worrying about the inevitable.

Dinalu turned his head and kissed Elrohir's shoulder. "Beloved?" he whispered.

"Yes," Elrohir whispered, "what?" He turned his head and kissed his husband on the forehead.

"Look, its Eärendil," the blond elf whispered and pointed up in the sky at a bright star.

"You are right," Elrohir mused, caressing Dinalu's stomach with his hand. "Do.do you think Elladan is flying with him?"

"I'm sure he is," Dinalu said softly.

"Oh, I want a ride too!" Elrohir said with a little smile.

"Knowing you, you will nag you grandfather and Elladan for ever," Dinalu chuckled.

"I probably would," Elrohir chuckled back. "You were right all along my love, I never lost a brother." The half elf took a deep breath and whispered, "he's just waiting for me."

Dinalu rolled on top of his husband with a lazy smile. "I love you," he whispered, kissing Elrohir softly.

"I know," Elrohir snickered, wrapping his arms around Dinalu. Feeling loved, warm and happy, he was sure that Legolas had figured out who had kept him as a child, but he had never wanted to address the matter, and Elrohir kept his last wish to his brother, never revealing his knowledge, not even to Elrond. He just saw no reason; everything had almost turned out perfectly hadn't it? - Even Thranduil had warmed up to Theodred, and finally allowed his son to marry the man. And through rumours they had heard that the old king of Rohan had installed Eomer as the next in command. This warmed Elrohir's heart, knowing that Eomer would be a kind and thoughtful ruler when that time came. But that time would not come yet, and now was the time for love and enjoying the things one had in life, not the "what ifs," and "has beens." It was a time to harvest the happiness that had emerged from all the trials and sorrow they had undergone. And Midsummer had always been the perfect time for that. "Midsummer harvest," Elrohir whispered.