Once in a Lifetime by Silvertoekee

A gentle breeze blew the branches over head and dust motes floated in the wind. Laying back in the tall grass, Estel stretched lazily and yawned. He hadn't been getting a lot of sleep since he had been worrying over Glorfindel and now Saliader. The Lorien elf had been hovering constantly around Glorfindel and it was irritating. He was unsure if the seneschal liked the attention or hated it. One thing was for sure, he wouldn't confess until Saliader left back for Lorien or he got the courage to confess again.

"I have something to confess to you Glorfindel."

Cautiously sitting up, he peaked over the grass and blinked. Glorfindel and Saliader stood a few feet away and he wondered what they were doing here. Sliding back down again, he wondered how he would get out of here without being seen.

"What is it Saliader?"

Glorfindel looked at the other in exasperation and wished he would hurry up. The sun was starting to set and he still had a few things to take care of. About to ask the other to hurry up, he was astounded when firm lips settled on his own. A shocked gasp was heard nearby and Glorfindel jerked free. Scanning the clearing, he noticed silver eyes glinting in the shadows and gasped. Agony reflected in Estel's eyes and before he could say anything the boy turned and fled. Letting out an angry curse, Glorfindel was about to chase the boy when a firm grip stopped him.

Saliader gazed at him pleadingly. "Wait Glorfindel, let the child go and stay with me."

Glaring at the elf, Glorfindel let out a snort and shook his head. "I would rather battle a Balrog then stay with you young one, now kindly let go of my arm."

Saliader wilted under his fierce stare and with a pout let go. Turning around, Glorfindel raced after Estel and hastily whipped his mouth. He was a bit angry that he had been fooled into coming here for Saliader to kiss him. It was one of the oldest tricks in the book and he should have seen it coming. And he also wondered what Estel was doing hiding in the grass and why he looked so pained.

The trees whipped by in an endless blur but Estel didn't notice. All he cared about was what he had witness and it broke his heart. The pain was agonizing and it was hard to breath. It was so funny how quickly he had fallen in love with Glorfindel and then to have his heart broken in an instant.


Hearing his name called, he slowed down but did not turn around. A hand settled on his shoulder and he almost shrugged it off. Glorfindel stepped in front of him, but he refused to look at him.

Glorfindel gazed at him curiously. "Why did you run Estel?"

The boy shook off the elf's hands and took a few steps back. Perhaps the timing was bad or maybe he just didn't care any longer if the Glorfindel found out.

Looking up at the blond elf, Estel smiled bitterly. "Because I love you."

Blue eyes widened in surprise and alarm. Glorfindel was astonished by Estel's explanation and unsure of what to say. He had never known that the boy had felt this way about him and wondered when it had happened. Looking into the silver eyes, he could finally see the love shining in them and the pain as well. Now the pain filled look earlier made sense and also a whole lot of other things as well.

"I have loved you for a long time Glorfindel." Estel glanced away and closed his eyes. "And it hurt me terribly to see you in the arms of another."

Glorfindel could hear the sincerity in Estel's words and still didn't speak. He had always viewed the boy as kind of like a son or even a pupil. Thoughts of him as a lover had never entered his mind or even to love him in that manner. Raising a hand he grasped Estel's chin and made him look at him.

"Estel what I feel for you is a deep friendship and can only see you as perhaps like a son."

Estel let out a deep sigh and stepped away from the elf. The pain was excruciating and yet he felt a sense of relief. His father was right and it was good that he had finally admitted his feelings. Now he knew were he stood with the other elf and yet he still wanted to cry.

"So be it. I am sorry to have disturbed you Glorfindel and now if you will excuse me."

He could see that the elf wanted to say something else but didn't. Turning around it took everything in him to just walk away and not run. Feeling the tears slide hotly down his cheeks, Estel wondered how long it would take for him to recover.

The Hall of Fire was quiet at this late hour and a great place for one elf to brood. Glorfindel lay sprawled across the couch and gazed deeply into his wine. Estel's confession weighed heavily on his mind and he didn't know what to do.

"What troubles you so my friend?" Erestor asked quietly.

Looking across the room, he watched as the other elf walked over and sat next to him on the couch. Swirling his drink in the wine glass, Glorfindel gazed into the fire and smiled tiredly.

"Everything my friend."

Erestor was concerned by his friend's tone and waited patiently for him to speak. He had observed Estel coming back to Imladris with a defeated and heartbroken expression. Somehow he knew that the boy had confessed and it didn't turn out to well.

"Do you know that Estel loves me Erestor?"

Glorfindel looked over at his friend and watched him nod. Sitting up straighter, he turned and faced his friend.

"I take it everyone in Imladris knew this but me?" Glorfindel asked in irritation.

Erestor gazed down at his hands and smiled sadly. "I am not to sure about everyone besides myself, Elrond, and maybe the twins."

The blond seneschal had a sudden urge to break something or even fling his glass. It would have been satisfying to destroy something but wouldn't solve his problems.

Glorfindel tightened his hand on the glass steam. "How could I have been so blind as not to notice something like this?"

Erestor gently reached over and took the glass away. Placing it on the table, he gazed at the blond and shook his head.

"Estel made very sure that you would never know and he almost did a good job hiding it from the rest of us." Erestor smiled in reassurance at the blond. "The only reason the rest of us knows is because Elrond noticed he was acting strange and pointed it out to me. And the twins probably figured it out because he is there younger brother and Estel never could hide things from them."

Glorfindel shook his head in denial. "But I still should have noticed and if I had known then somehow I would have stopped it."

Grasping the blond firmly on the shoulders, he gazed determinedly into his eyes. "We cannot choose who we love Glorfindel, it just happens. Now stop beating yourself up about it."

The blond seneschal finally nodded in agreement and Erestor released him. "Good now the big question is do you truly care about him like he feels for you?"

Sad blue eyes met brown, and Glorfindel dropped his head into his hands. "No, I have never thought of being in love with him before Erestor and I am unsure I ever can."

The advisor placed a comforting arm around his friend's shoulders. "I take it you have told him this?"

Erestor watched the blond nod and sighed. This was turning out to be a big mess and he wasn't to sure how to solve it. At least now Estel and Glorfindel knew how each felt about the other and would have to figure this out on there own.

"Then that is all you can do my friend. Just treat him as you normally do and hopefully time will restore everything back to normal."

Glorfindel could hear a shred of doubt in the advisor's voice and smiled sadly. He had a feeling that it wasn't going to be that easy and nothing was ever going to be the same again.
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