It's been almost two months since the Adventure. Two months. It is hard to believe time has passed so quickly since the end of it all. And you would think things would have gone back t normal.
I sit here under the tree in the shade, while you set about to tending my garden, dear Sam. I sit and pretend to pay attention to the book in my hands, but all I am really doing is watching you.
You, dear Samwise Gamgee, have become the most important person in my life.
I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case, time and again
I thought about it
You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You asked how my day was
It seems odd. I do not know when these feelings started, but I do not recall a happy memory where you were not considered my friend at the least. But I think I have always known that you would be more than just a friend to me.
You turn towards me, pausing in your work. You must have seen the daydreaming, far-away look in my eyes, for you are concerned.
"Are you alright Mr. Frodo?" I blink, suddenly drawn out of my own thoughts. There is worry in your voice. Perhaps, you fear a lapse back into the sickness that I suffer annually.
"I'm fine, Sam." You frown as if you don't quite believe me, but you nod your head, acknowledging that I do not wish assistance. You turn around and return to your gardening.
I do not think there has ever been a time when you did not refer to me as "Mr. Frodo". And you are the only one who has ever called me that. No matter how many times I've told you to just call me Frodo, you'd always insist "it's not right proper, Mr. Frodo." It seems odd Sam, but I believe I have grown to love the way you call me that and, now, if you called me anything else I would be heartbroken. It's your own way to make me listen to you, you know. You think of me as your superior, and, because of that, it's only right that I repay you with that respect by listening to you. Whenever, wherever, you'll always have my complete attention when you call me "Mr. Frodo".
You've already won me over
In spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall
Head over feet
And don't be surprised if I love you
For all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault
I didn't think it was possible, Sam. People had teased me about falling in love with males, but I had never really thought about it. That's what I think this is Sam; love. I think I have fallen in love with you.
I wonder if you knew all along. You were never one to hide your emotions. You seem to be able to judge people better than most. I wonder if you know.
Your love is thick
And it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver
Than I give you credit for
That's not lip service
You turn back to me, a worried expression on your face. I come back to reality and realize that I have been crying. Wordlessly, you come to my side and pull me into an embrace, allowing me to sob into your shoulder.
But I am not crying for sadness, beloved Sam. I cry for the love of you. I want to tell you how I feel, that I love you, but I am a coward. I do not have the courage to tell you what I feel. You rub my back, comforting me.
You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath
And the door for me
Thanks for your patience
You're the best listener
That I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long
My sobs subside, and, slowly, I draw back from you. How many times have you held me like this? More than I can count. After I was captured by the orcs, in the hospice in Gondor, innumerable times. I don't know how I would have made through the quest without you, dear Sam.
You gave up so much to follow me through this. You could have had such a more prosperous and joyful life. You suffered through so much to make sure I was all right.
I want you to know that it killed me to see you suffer the things that the quest put you through. It is incredible how many times you might have died, beloved Samwise. And my heart ached at every opportunity where you risked your life. You almost drowned just to accompany me into what surely must be Hell. You had the courage to go on when I did not. You had the heart to carry me up Mount Doom with almost no food and the same amount of rest. You even had to bear that confounded Ring.
You are a wonder, Samwise Gamgee. To have done all that and seen how weak I really am, you still insist that I am your superior.
"Sam?"
"Yes Mr. Frodo? Are you alright now?"
"I suppose so, Sam." I pause for breath, not entirely sure I am doing this. "But I think I could be better if I do this."
I quickly grab your suspenders and pull you close, my lips pressed against yours. It is a brief instant. I pull away and you stare at me with your jaw dropped.
"I love you, Samwise Gamgee."
You continue to stare at me with what must be shock in your eyes. I shake my head, almost ashamed of what I just did. I stand and turn, ready to lock myself in the library.
As I turn you grab my hand. I spin around towards you, almost surprised at the touch. You gently pull me back down towards you. You press my slight frame against you and kiss me fervently. The kiss is longer and when you pull away you leave me short of breath.
"I love you, too, Mr. Frodo."
I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now
You've already won me over
In spite of me
Don't be alarmed if I fall
Head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you
For all that you are
Icouldn't help it
It's all your fault
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Head Over Feet by Freakish Lemon
Story notes: Disclaimer: Alrighties, as y'all know, I do not own Lord of the Rings, which belongs to our dear friend Mr. Tolkien. The idea for this fic wasn't even mine. The idea belongs to one of my beta-readers, Brandy. The song "Head Over Feet" belongs to Alanis Morissette.
Yippee, disclaimer is over. Thanks to my "official" beta-readers Laura and Brandy, and to everyone else who helped me out with editing and criticism. Y'all know who you are. Okie dokie, last note, this fic is from Frodo's point of view. And it's slash. Yay!!
