Glorfindel walked contemplating the past few days, he had gotten to know the elf he had become accustomed to calling Lirimaer, as if it was his real name. The more he spoke with him the more he had come to like him...actually like him, enjoy his company and come to take pleasure in the simplest things about him. The ceremony used to be a time for him and all to reflect upon his life, but afterward he tended to indulge himself in other's...and no matter who they were he never spent more than a few nights with them if even that, before moving on to the next. He wasn't oblivious to himself; Glorfindel knew he was attractive to both male and female parties, so filling his bed was no trouble.
But for the few days he had spent with his Lirimaer...he had lost interest in bedding any other, and even though Glorfindel wanted the beautiful elf...his beautiful Lirimaer, he wanted more from the elf than his body. He enjoyed simply spending time with him and loved so many things about him. His hair, his skin...his eyes, oh by the Valar how he loved this elf's eyes, he didn't show much expression but when he did half of it, if not more, was right there in his eyes. They were intense and powerful, if you were to look into them, as Glorfindel did, you would feel as if you are standing on the edge of the world, alone, and about to drown in a never-ending ocean. That is assuming his eyes were blue at the time, they changed color from a vast array of blue's and greens. Glorfindel was now able to perceive his moods by the color of his eyes, happiness comes in two shades, either they are a cerulean blue or a bright emerald color, when he is prideful they grow brighter almost a true sapphire color or a inspiring jade...but oh so beautiful, absolutely stunning. There were so many different shades and emotions to name, and he learned new ones every day and looked forward to it even.
Glorfindel even loved the elf's children, going as far as sword fighting with his eldest, and enjoying the gentle company of his middle child. He had yet to meet his youngest and was in fact headed to the archery tournament to meet with his Lirimaer and see his last child. He was a very prideful and wonderful father. He treated each of his sons with equal respect and adoration, he loved them each dearly and expressed his love for them openly and freely...again that pure love of absolution that he held, it was incredible.
It made Glorfindel happy reminiscing about the new things he learned about his infatuation every day. It was a shame that they couldn't get too in depth with one another without revealing who they were but it didn't stop them. They learned each other's favorite food and wine, favorite pastimes and hobbies. They were different granted, but they also had many similarities, and even though it had been a while for Glorfindel to go through the steps of an actual relationship...it was refreshing and he was actually enjoying it all.
As he walked he came upon Terrance. He seemed to be simply enjoying the day walking alone. Glorfindel couldn't help but stop the escort though and have a few words with him. He was curious about this elf for the simple fact his Lirimaer would speak of him rather often, and Glorfindel made it a point to get to know the things and people that were important to Thranduil.
Terrance was obviously very important to the elf he adored so much and he wanted to get to know him as well. He knew they were friends from early childhood so their bond was very strong but...other than that he knew nothing of him.
Terrance gave him a rare smile "My taurelasse awaits you at the tournament...I escorted him there but past that I did not think he required me to stay."
"Your Taurelasse?" Glorfindel asked
"A childhood nickname I gave him, it suits him well here when I wish to address him." Terrance said.
Glorfindel nodded, "So you no longer feel the need to watch as I spend time with him? You were never far when we were supposed to be alone." Glorfindel knew Terrance was never to far from Thranduil even if they walked from one end of the forest to the other Terrance would remain unseen but still there.
"I know that he can handle himself, but as I'm sure you can tell I am very protective of him, however, I don't consider you a threat anymore. You seemed to be only interested in his body at first but now your fondness for him has grown to a broader perspective...he deserves that...and I'm glad your admiration is not so limited." Terrance said.
Glorfindel smiled at him. "You are a good conversationalist when you are pleased with me, otherwise I feel the need to shield myself from your somewhat seething gaze. Also do not worry, hurting your taurelasse is my last intention." Glorfindel said once again looking at the gloved arm and the few scars he could see on Terrance's neck.
Terrance noticed the look and sighed. "I was burnt badly in a fire...partly in my devotion to my Taurelasse, protecting him. But I'd prefer you never mention your curiosity about my burns to him...he feels guilty that I have them since I got them trying to help him." Terrance said.
"Was he caught in a burning home or something?" Glorfindel asked. It was strange for elves to have lasting scars, he had to have been burnt terribly for them to be permanent.
"No...but it doesn't matter. He holds guilt to these scars I bear, although I would do nothing different if given a second chance. I just ask you not to mention them or inquire about them to him, I doubt he will ever forgive himself for what has happened." Terrance said.
"Have you forgiven him?" Glorfindel asked.
"I never blamed him to begin with, it was my choice, I could have avoided it if I wished but he was more important to me. He asked me once to forgive him but I told him what I am telling you. I never blamed him, so forgiveness is not needed." He said.
"But he might need to hear it from you so he can move past that guilt, you are not blaming him so maybe he finds justice in blaming himself instead?" Glorfindel asked.
"Possibly...but I will not place blame on something he had no control over, I cannot do that. Besides that hypothesis might go two ways. One: he could process the guilt and overcome it or, two: he could feel even more guilty since I had practically confirmed his suspicion that I blame him in the first place and he needed my forgiveness at all." Terrance paused. "No, I prefer it this way...and I hold true to my word that it wasn't his fault, and I will never blame him." Terrance smiled.
Glorfindel looked at Terrance amazed for a moment, this elf reveres his friend, truly reveres him like a real treasure or precious jewel...so much in fact he cares not for his own physical or emotional pain. After watching him for a few days it was obvious that this elf would never do anything that Thranduil would dislike and despite all this he still holds him in the highest regard and will remain forever faithful to him.
"I am returning to our talan, please escort Thranduil home, he has attracted much attention at the tournament...I give him to you freely as a test, bring him back safely to me and I might stop following you two." Terrance said with a wink.
Upon reaching the tournament, Glorfindel could instantly tell which one was Thranduil's child. They looked so much alike it was impossible for them not to be of some relation. And his Lirimaer was right, this young elf was very skilled with a bow, he was blowing right past those his own age and those past his age...he would defiantly make it to the finals. Glorfindel walked around a bit finally seeing his elf shying away from a few elf's that were speaking to him. He gave a Glorfindel a faint smile when they made eye contact and Glorfindel couldn't help but gleam at the gesture.
"I have a prior engagement, I appreciate your offer though." Thranduil said to one of the elf's whom was obviously trying to lure him away, but Thranduil simply walked up to Glorfindel. "I am glad you came, I was wondering if you were actually going to come." Thranduil said. "Although I am glad you did." He added.
"I wished to see your youngest, and he is quite skilled as you said." Glorfindel said.
"You had no trouble seeing which one was mine, did you?" Thranduil said.
"You two resemble each other so much it's uncanny, if he is not your son, he is your twin." Glorfindel said.
"Ah yes...a younger, shorter, and more childish twin." Thranduil said shaking his head.
"Very well then, he is your inner child." Glorfindel said.
Thranduil smiled at that thought. "Actually, I like that interpretation better than any other I have heard." Thranduil watched his son for a moment filled with pride once again, he loved his children so much and was more than happy to be able to spend time with them without worrying about his kingdom or duties, he was free of that burden now, and would be for many weeks to come.
"Tell me, you act as if you hardly see your sons...and you care for them so much is your occupation in life so demanding that it denies you of what you obviously want more than anything else?" Glorfindel asked.
Thranduil frowned. "Unfortunately it does, and I cannot abandon my position in life...and while I will greatly miss spending time with them and watching them live in such a free spirit, I will treasure it nonetheless." Thranduil paused and smiled at Glorfindel. "This will not make me bitter, these memories will comfort me when I am lonely or troubled and if I can remember them like I see them now...I will feel as satisfactory and content as I do now with these memories."
"Is that really enough though? I know you love your children, any can see that, but what about you?" Glorfindel asked. "I have spoken with your children idly and they speak so admirably of you and what a wonderful father you are...yet they worry about you becoming lonely." Glorfindel said.
"I have been alone for a few years, and it's not as if I never see my sons, the visits are simply far between is all...also I worry about their acceptance should I chose to be with another." He paused seeming a little troubled. "If I found someone and they rejected my decision in any way...you must understand they mean more to me than anything in this world and even if it meant denying my own happiness I would happily yield to their desire. They are all I have left of a family, and I will not abandon them to create a new one with another." Thranduil said as he took one last look at his youngest before walking away from the bustle of elf's and into a more quite and secluded part of the forest.
Glorfindel followed feeling guilty, he had upset his Lirimaer. "I am sorry...it was not my intent to trouble you so." He said approaching Thranduil cautiously. "I was told once that loving might be a mistake but it was one worth making." He said once he knew Thranduil was listening to him more intently now. "Love is one of the most splendid pleasures in life weather it is fleeting or forever I never denied myself of that feeling." He said.
"You live for yourself though, they way you act and speak is so free but my life is not one with such freedom...not only that I live for my children." Thranduil said.
"What about now? During the cleansing, this is your time to live as freely as you wish and that includes loving as freely or as much as you wish." Glorfindel said stepping closer to Thranduil happy that he didn't step away.
"Perhaps you are right. However, you know I do not feel even slightly comfortable with a fleeting love...I cannot be like that even if I tried." He said shaking his head. "I want them to accept me and a new partner...but I fear the pain of losing them or the one I love should either party be rejected." He said. "I can love as freely as I wish during this time, but what about after?" He asked.
"Partners at times are kept after the ritual...they are as commonly kept as they are not. Allow yourself to make a mistake to take a chance in all his, granted it might hurt in the end..." Glorfindel cupped the beautiful face in both hands as he continued. "But just as you are filled with happiness at watching your children now and will be comforted by the memories, would you not be comforted by the memories of a love you had during this time as well...My Lirimaer...?" Glorfindel said trailing of slightly as he leaned forward kissing Thranduil gently.
Thranduil went ridged for a second at the contact, but couldn't seem to stop himself from testily kissing back at first until he disregarded his fear and surrendered to the skilled lips of this bold elf. Soon the gentle kiss became more. It became more possessive as strong arms wrapped around him trapping his body flush against Glorfindel their mouths still locked in an unbreakable hold. The heat of Glorfindel's tongue shot past Thranduil's lips startling him although he allowed it nonetheless.
The heat and power this elf demonstrated was enticing but also a little frightening. Thranduil was not used to being dominated so easily without a fight and he had fought with this elf at the beginning, but now he looked forward to meeting with him and his beautiful smile seemed imprinted to his memory...and this kiss, he would sooner die before he forgot this kiss, so powerful and wanting...wanting of him.
The kiss soon broke off and Thranduil found himself breathless in Glorfindel's arms, he hardly noticed the other's strong arms were practically holding him up...apparently his knees had given way underneath him. He pulled away a little shakily although Glorfindel was reluctant to let go of him so soon.
Glorfindel smiled at the flushed appearance the other wore. "Did that feel like a mistake Lirimaer?" He asked touching Thranduil's arm gently.
"No...I guess it didn't." He said lowering his head in an attempt to hide the obvious flush that increased across his cheeks.
"I've wanted to do that for so long..." He said running a hand through Thranduil's hair. "You are an amazing elf and you as just as beautiful on the outside as you are inside, you seem to sacrifice so much for love of the one's you hold dear and deny yourself what we have just shared." Glorfindel pressed his forehead to Thranduil's. "Don't...do not deny yourself any longer and please do not deny me the privilege of becoming dear to you as well." Glorfindel said.
Thranduil frowned but not is disapproval only in contemplation. "I must think on this matter...it has been long since I have become close to another, it feels somewhat foreign and a little frightening."
"I am sorry, I did not mean to frighten you at all..." Glorfindel was cut off.
"Do not misunderstand I enjoyed myself, the intensity and feeling was a bit overwhelming is all, frighten was the wrong word...immense is more appropriate." Thranduil said.
"That's good to know...strange how much we have changed since our first meeting, although I believe it is for the better." Glorfindel said.
"Maybe...please join me for the midday meal, I would appreciate the company." Thranduil said changing the subject quickly so they would not face an awkward silence...or even a comfortable silence.
"Of course." Glorfindel said, he would allow Thranduil to set the pace of this; he managed to make the first move so now it was up to Thranduil should this progress. Glorfindel knew he couldn't pressure Thranduil for it would only push him away, but he was perfectly content waiting for him.
Thranduil and Glorfindel decided to share their food near a small lake, it wasn't empty there were a few elf's lounging about in the water but they were far from where Glorfindel and Thranduil were relaxing. But it appeared to be a very relaxing day for most, many were simply napping or simple and peaceful conversation. Besides the archery tournament not much was going on today.
Glorfindel enjoyed sitting with Thranduil in silence as they laid on the cool grass together eating fruit and bread. They drank sweet wine and conversed lightly over mindless things that would be forgotten with the next day. Thranduil enjoyed this though; it was nice to be treated like an everyday elf and for those around him to do the same...just normal everyday elf's nothing more or less.
Haldir saw Glorfindel a few yards away form him as he was coming out of the lake after a swim. He hadn't seen Glorfindel in a good few days and when he caught a glimpse of him he was always with that pretty elf they saw a few days ago. Honestly it wasn't like Glorfindel to focus so intently on one elf, granted he wasn't used to rejection but...his behavior around this one seemed a little different than what he was used to. He was kinder and gentler; he treaded softly around this one and was respectful to his escort rather than challenging him. He seemed genuinely interested for once.
Haldir smiled a little at the situation, he knew Glorfindel for so long and his behavior was that of someone who was in love. Glorfindel would probably never admit to it but Haldir could clearly see it in his friend's eyes, if this relationship progressed he would fall deeper and deeper until his life would be incomplete without the other. Haldir had been waiting for this day, Glorfindel was alone far too much in his life and this pretty elf by his side seemed to lighten his whole world, who wouldn't want to come home to that?
Haldir decided not to bother the happy couple and let things between them go as they will without his outside interference, they seemed to be doing fine on their own anyway.
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Chapter end notes: [Lirimaer]- lovely one
[Taurelasse] - Forest Leaf
