Switch by Morgana

"I can't stay long," announced Lindir, closing the door to Erestor's chambers behind them. "But I can return tonight and show you the things you need to know in order to get through the next few days."

Glorfindel spun around, grabbed Lindir's shoulders and hoped the white-haired Elf was so surprised by his action that he would answer his question. "Tell me: is Erestor in love with Elrond? Do you know?"

Lindir, taken aback, reacted automatically and nodded. "Yes, he is." His eyes widened, realizing he had given away his friend's best kept secret. "I never said that!"

"But you did!" Glorfindel released the stricken Elf, and grinned smugly. "I knew it!" Maybe his mission was easier than he had thought. "I am confident I can get them together!" Pacing Erestor's room, his toe hit something hard, and he looked down to find out what it was. A tome, but no, wait... Glorfindel picked it up, opened it, and instantly recognized Erestor's handwriting. "Yes! He keeps a journal!" Triumphant, he settled down on the bed and opened the journal.

"You can't do that!" Lindir -- feeling protective of Erestor's privacy now that his friend wasn't present -- tried to snatch the journal away from Glorfindel's hands, but the warrior wouldn't let him. "That's private!"

"Not anymore! I am Erestor now." Snuggling comfortably between the blankets, Glorfindel raised a hand, dismissing Lindir. "You should return to Elrond. And thank you for answering my question! Now that I know Elrond is Erestor's object of desire I might be able to successfully carry out this mission." Now that he came to think of it, maybe it had been Lórien who had put this journal in his path. "Go away."

Lindir shook his head at Glorfindel's behavior. "You will only cause trouble!"

"I am trouble, my friend. That's why Lórien entrusted this assignment to me."

"Nothing good can come out of this."

"I beg to differ. And close the door behind you. I have some reading to do and require privacy." Glorfindel didn't bother to look up, knowing exactly what kind of expression lay on Lindir's face. Once the door closed behind the white-haired Elf, Glorfindel's grin broadened. "Oh, Erestor, I am going to get you and Elrond together."




Lovely... Soaking in the bathtub felt lovely, and Erestor wasn't inclined to move at all. He had closed his eyes and gently splashed the water with his hand, creating small waves that rocked against his chest, sending tiny sparks of pleasure through his body. Well, Glorfindel's body to be exact.

It had taken him a lot of courage and time to finally convince himself to disrobe and to step into the bathtub. Glorfindel had been right in pointing out to him that he smelled. He had trained with the guards for hours and had been covered in sweat when he had finally headed to his rooms. Although he had seen Glorfindel's magnificent physique when he had dressed earlier that morning, it still felt strange to look at the warrior's naked body in the mirror. He felt like he was trespassing, which wasn't surprising. This was Glorfindel's body after all, and not his.

Closing his eyes, he enjoyed the sensation of the water cradling his body. Working out with the guards had been exciting and stimulating, but he did feel a tad tired now, and he only had one hour left before he was expected to join Elrond in the Hall of Fire for dinner.

Elrond... Just thinking the name was enough to make his groin stir and he blushed, finding that this body was very willing and eager to follow wherever his thoughts led. "I can't do this. Not now... Not like this." But he had grown hard and the tip of the erect flesh rose proudly from beneath the water. "No, not now..." Erestor tried to banish Elrond's face from his mind, but the large, gray eyes, high cheekbones, tongue moistened lips sent shards of desire through his groin. "I can't abuse his body like that..." But he was painfully erect and if he didn't take care of it now, the arousal might return during dinner and that would be truly embarrassing. It was better to take care of it now.

Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, Erestor tried to block out the thought that he still inhabited Glorfindel's body. He tried hard to imagine being in his own body – his own bath tub. After a moment's hesitation he curled his fingers around the enflamed flesh and stroked slowly. Elrond's face reappeared, and Erestor surrendered to his sweet desire, stroking harder. When he finally reached orgasm, his eyes opened, shocked, and watched how the hot cream dripped from the slit. Oh, he had really done it now. Guilt crashed into him now that the waves of ecstasy were lessening. "I am sorry, Glorfindel. I shouldn't have done that. This is disrespectful." It felt like he had abused the warrior's body, something he had never wanted to do. "I can never tell him." But one moment later he wondered if he could keep quiet. He would feel guilty keeping this quiet. Admitting the deed to Glorfindel might bring him some emotional release. "It won't happen again," he promised with a shaky voice. "I will control myself."




Second Age 1697

Lindir, Elrond and are finally leaving Lindon today and we will head for Imladris. I am looking forward to living in this peaceful valley and restoring some sanity to our lives.

Glorfindel stretched his legs, placed a pillow onto his lap to support the journal and then continued to read, involuntarily biting his bottom lip.

Accepting Ereinion's death is hard on Elrond. He loved our High-King with his whole heart and to be now without him, affects him deeply. Lindir and I try to support him, but he shuts us out. He says he wants to mourn alone, but I see him slide deeper into depression and isolation. It hurts to see him that way.

The entry stopped abruptly and Glorfindel turned the page, finding that Erestor had skipped a few days.

Elrond refuses to eat. Merely making him sip some water is already hard work, but he drank some to stop me from nagging. Elrond looks exhausted. I think he has grown tired of life and longs to enter the Halls of Waiting. I hope he finds the strength and courage to continue though. Maybe creating a home in the valley will help him find a new goal. I hope so. I don't want him to fade... I would follow him shortly. I love him too much.

Glorfindel grew saddened, only now realizing just how long Erestor had been in love with Elrond exactly. Flipping the pages another entry caught his attention.

The Last Homely House, that's what Lindir calls it: and Elrond has quickly adopted that. Elrond has become a little more alive, a bit more alert since we arrived. He throws himself into creating Imladris, perfecting it, and hides from his pain. At times, I try to make him open up to me. Keeping the pain all inside can't be good, but most of the time he brushes me off. Gently, but resolutely. If only Ereinion had survived. If only I had died instead of our High-King.

"Oh, Erestor, don't think like that! I am glad you didn't die at the Battle of the Last Alliance." But he understood Erestor's thinking up to some point. If he'd had a choice, he would have preferred for Ecthelion to live. He would have gladly given his life for his beloved. But fate had decided differently.

Elrond continues to improve. As he has great need of a Chief Advisor I offered to fill this position, and he approved. I know I am being selfish, but this means I can spend more time with him. And I want to be near him.

The Lord and Lady of the Golden Wood announced a visit. I wonder why.

Glorfindel smiled, encountering another sketch Erestor had made of Elrond. It must have been made during a rare moment of peace, because Elrond definitely looked serene.

I can't believe I am even considering doing this, but... Decades have passed by since Ereinion's death and Elrond seems to have recovered from it. Not wholly, I doubt he ever will, but as much as possible and I am now working up my courage to tell him. To tell him that I love him. I am scared though. What if he looks at me in disgust? What if he rejects me? Doesn't love me in turn? Maybe this is a bad idea and I shouldn't do this, but I love him! It is so hard to be close to him all day long, touching him, talking to him, occasionally talking strolls in the garden with him, and being unable to speak of my feelings for him! Oh, sweet Elbereth help me!

Glorfindel grinned manically, but then the smile faded. He never told Elrond. I wonder why. Growing curious he continued to the next entry, which wasn't as neatly written as all the others. The ink was smeared over the pages. Tears. Erestor cried when he wrote this.

I... I... I don't know what to write... I am devastated. I feel like the world has collapsed around me. Why did I ever think I had a chance with Elrond? Why was I so stupid? Stupid, stupid, stupid! I waited too long and now my chance is gone! I had just worked up enough courage to admit my feelings to him when Elrond stormed into the room, telling me that... that he had accepted Celeborn's proposal! He is going to marry Celebrían! I can't... I can't continue...

"I am so sorry, Erestor... That was bad timing." Glorfindel slowly began to understand why this air of hopelessness and defeat surrounded Erestor when he was close to Elrond.

It has been three weeks since Elrond announced his betrothal and I have felt like dead ever since. I couldn't write in my journal, couldn't face my feelings. I was so close, but I lost him. I lost him to Celebrían. She arrived yesterday and everyone can see she is of pure heart and in love with Elrond. I try to be cross with her, for falling in love with him, but how can I? I am in love with him too, but she acted faster and she won his heart. I can already picture what the rest of my life will be like. I will have to watch them, watch their happiness grow whilst my heart freezes and becomes as hard as stone. I don't want to be jealous, but how can I not?

Glorfindel briefly looked up from his reading. Tears were building in his eyes, and his gaze shifted to the mirror, seeing his reflection – seeing Erestor seated on the bed, near tears. "I wish I had known." Forcing himself to continue reading, he scanned the next entry.

It is official now. They exchanged marital vows and are bound for all eternity. I feel empty, cold... lost.

Rubbing the paper with his thumb, Glorfindel felt apprehensive when turning the page.

I am in charge of Imladris for the moment. Elrond and Celebrían want to spend some time alone. I can't blame them. I would want the same thing if I was married to Elrond... but I am not.

Elrond returned to his duties today. I ruled Imladris for two weeks and everything went smoothly. I feel dead inside though...

Celebrían announced she is pregnant. With twins probably, knowing Elrond's bloodline. I should be happy for them, but I am not. I live in darkness.

For the first time since he had begun reading this journal, Glorfindel considered closing it. This was Erestor's life, not his. But then he remembered Lórien's words, and he knew he had to continue – for Erestor's sake.

I held the babies in my arms for the very first time and... I saw so much of Elrond in them that I instantly adopted them. I can't give Elrond my love, but I can love the babies like a father.

The twins are taking their first steps... Elladan always falls over...

Glorfindel chuckled. "I hope Elladan never reads that bit!" Skipping pages, his hands stalled once more, seeing smeared ink and a shaky handwriting.

The Lady Celebrían was mortally injured... Elrond and the children are beyond comforting... I feel guilty for ever having been jealous or furious with her for being loved by Elrond... Now I wish they had tortured me in her place. Seeing Elrond and his children in this state makes my heart ache.

Glorfindel swallowed hard. He had been part of Elrond's household for two centuries when Celebrían was attacked and still remembered the grief that had smothered the family. Back then, Erestor had seemed the only calm, rational one, and the raven-haired Elf had taken over all duties from Elrond, so the half-Elf could care for his family. Not once had he considered what it had cost Erestor to maintain that calm exterior whilst he was hurting inside as well.

That faithful day has finally come; she is leaving for the Havens. Elrond has cried bitter tears in the privacy of his rooms and I lent him all the strength I could muster. Seeing him in such pain hurts me in turn.

She has left. Celebrían is now on her way to the Undying Lands. I hope she will find peace of mind there. The Lady Galadriel and the Lord Celeborn are staying in Imladris, and are taking the children under their wing now that Elrond is incapable of consoling them himself. I am torn between running Imladris and comforting Elrond. He needs me, but I am the only one who knows the way Imladris works. I feel drained, but I will never turn Elrond away.

Elrond stormed into my room last night, whimpering and crying hard. I was at a loss, not wanting to overstep any boundaries, but in the end I pulled him close and rocked him. I helped him lie down and I sang for him all night long. He fell asleep when Arien began to rise. It was a draining night.

Shaking his head, Glorfindel raised his eyes and sighed deeply. Poor Elrond. Poor Erestor. Glorfindel had tried being there for them back then, but he had been relatively new in a very close family. A family Erestor was considered part of.

Elrond told me his heart was lost to him. That he would love Celebrían forever and that he would never love someone else again. My hope has been crushed. It's time I accept reality and give up. Elrond is lost to me.

Glorfindel leafed through the journal until he had found the last entry, dated yesterday.

Why won't the Elven Sickness take me? I don't know how much more I can take. When I lie awake at night, I wonder how many more millennia I have to watch Elrond, never being able to touch him the way I want. I want to hold him, and whisper sweetly into his ear. I crave touching him, and being touched in turn. I want to make love to him – to really know him. Why can't I? Oh, Lórien, please grant me sound sleep and peaceful dreams tonight. I don't know how to cope any more. Why can't Námo simply call me to his Halls?

"So you called on Lórien for help. That explains his involvement." Glorfindel closed the journal and placed it on the bed. He had spent most of the hour reading and dinner time approached quickly. He needed some sort of game plan. "Well, the good thing is that I am in Erestor's body," he mused, aloud, hoping to become inspired, "Maybe I should just seduce Elrond?" He nodded, thoughtfully. "Aye, I like that idea."




"Glorfindel?" Arwen looked the blond over quizzically. She had seldom seen him this 'messy' before. Glorfindel always wore his warrior's braids; he was proud of them, and now the hair was hanging loose down his back. Not that it wasn't becoming, he still looked very comely, but different.

Erestor startled from his musings, being addressed by her. Realizing it was he she was addressing took him a moment. He still didn't react directly when called Glorfindel. Looking at Arwen he tried to remember what Glorfindel always called her. "Pen-neth? I am not late for dinner, am I?"

Arwen placed her hand on his arm and steered her friend toward the Hall of Fire. "No, we are not. Adar and Erestor excused themselves though. They won't be joining us tonight." Why did Glorfindel tense beside her? Lifting inquisitive eyes, she studied him and realized the expression in the sapphire eyes was slightly off. "Apparently Adar is worried about Erestor, who has been acting most oddly all afternoon. He judged it wise to have a private dinner tonight."

Erestor's eyes almost bulged from their sockets. "A private dinner?" Oh, by the Valar, what was Glorfindel up to? Knowing the blond was alone with Elrond whilst being in his body was most disconcerting. He had kept his distance all these years, respecting the fact that Elrond wanted to remain faithful to his wife and now Glorfindel was changing everything!

"Come with me, Glorfindel. We aren't late yet, but we will be if we remain standing here." Arwen gently pulled the golden-haired warrior along, puzzled by the panicked expression on the other Elf's face. Why was Glorfindel so upset?

They finally reached the Hall of Fire, which was already filled with the members of Elrond's household, and guests. Arwen guided a shocked-looking Glorfindel to the main table, where she helped him seat himself. She had never before seen Glorfindel in such a trance-like state.

"Sister? What ails Glorfindel?" Elrohir leaned in closer the moment Arwen sat down next to him. Glorfindel sat to Elladan's right, as always at the end of the table.

"I don't know," said Arwen in all honestly, "But we should keep an eye on him."

Elrohir nodded once and elbowed his twin in the side, who sat next to him. "Keep an eye on Glorfindel, dear brother."

"Why?" The frown that creased Elrohir's brow now also appeared on his.

"Look at him!"

Elladan complied, and also noticed the distant expression in Glorfindel's eyes. As he was closest to the fabled Captain, he leaned in closer. "Does something trouble you?"

Feeling caught and cornered, Erestor gave a half-nod. "I had hoped to talk to Elrond tonight." He had missed the half-Elf and had looked forward to seeing him at dinner.

"About Legolas' upcoming visit no doubt," said Elladan, smirking from ear to ear. He had caught Glorfindel and Legolas once – almost in the act – but things had still been heated enough between them and he had quickly reached the right conclusion. Elladan wasn't sure why Glorfindel and Legolas kept their relationship a secret, but he wasn't going to meddle. "I am certain you look forward to having him here in Imladris again." The dumbfounded look Glorfindel gave him, didn't throw him off and he chuckled. "You don't have to pretend innocence with me, my friend."

Erestor, uncertain what to make of Elladan's hints, was about to ask for clarification when dinner was served. Silence descended onto the Hall now that everyone was eating and he was forced to postpone his question, unwilling to disturb this peaceful silence. When a goblet filled with the sweetest miruvor Imladris ever produced was set before him, he stared at it, wonderingly, but in the end, he sipped – and continued to sip when another goblet was offered him.




Elrond felt slightly nervous, knocking on Erestor's door. For the last few hours, he had privately debated whether or not to express his attraction for his friend. But in the end, he had decided that it wasn't worth the risk; losing Erestor's friendship would hurt him most deeply should the attraction be one-sided. He didn't feel comfortable taking that risk. Instead, he would be the best friend Erestor could wish for, and he was determined to find out if he could help Erestor ease the burden of his heart.

"Enter!" Glorfindel checked himself over in the mirror one last time. He had changed into robes of dark sienna, had undone the braids in his hair and had taken great care to comb the tresses until they shone like liquid black. Turning around, he walked toward the door.

Elrond opened the door and was frozen to the spot. Erestor had never looked more desirable before. The advisor was a true vision of divine beauty and grace. Searching for words, his gaze encountered the food. "I see they already brought dinner." He was very proud when his voice didn't tremble in the presence of such beauty.

Erestor wouldn't see the effect this is having on Elrond, mused Glorfindel, But I do. Elrond was impressed, and avoiding his gaze. /This attraction is mutual. Whatever doubts he might have had now faded. Glorfindel stood in front of the half-Elf, and heard Elrond suck in his breath when he raised a hand to reach behind him.

Oh, was Erestor going to touch him? Elrond's eyes remained trained on the hand that continued to come closer, but then disappointment set in, finding Erestor was merely pushing the door shut.

"Why don't we sit down, my friend?" Glorfindel – determined to act more like Erestor would – gestured for Elrond to seat himself. "Dinner has already been served and we shouldn't let it grow cold."

Entranced, Elrond allowed Erestor to steer him toward the pair of chairs. His eyes wanted to widen, when his friend's hand came to rest against the small of his back, but he managed to hide his surprise at the touch. To show that he was agreeable to this, he leaned into the touch.

Glorfindel smiled triumphantly, making certain Elrond didn't see his smug expression. After Elrond had seated himself, he did the same, and found that the half-Elf was more interested in looking at him, than eating dinner. Slow, remember, you have to go slow. Erestor would never rush this and proceed very slowly. Too slow as far as he was concerned, but he had to act like Erestor. He had to prevent Elrond from becoming suspicious of him or his actions. "Eat," he said, softly, smiling invitingly.

Elrond complied, but didn't taste anything of the food the cooks had prepared; he was too focused on his best friend, and the easy and comfortable expression that graced the noble features. In the end, he managed to say, "You look better this eve."

"I feel better," said Glorfindel, offering Elrond wine, which the half-Elf drowned in one go. "Maybe a little rest was all I needed."

"I doubt that," replied Elrond, determined to get to the bottom of this. "You suffer from a broken heart, my dearest friend. I have asked you to confide in me time and time again, yet you refuse to tell me the name of the one you love. Do you really think his heart can never warm up to you?"

Elrond's frankness took Glorfindel aback, never expecting it. It did make him realize something: Elrond and Erestor were best friends, each other's confidant, and they weren't used to keeping secrets. Their friendship went deeper than he had thought. "And what would you do, when you learn the name of my love?"

"Confront him!" Elrond nodded, fiercely. "Truly, Erestor, you are a gift and I would regret losing you to anyone, but I rather see less of you and know you happy than having you always close and suffering."

Are you really going to make this so easy for me? Glorfindel couldn't help but wonder why Erestor remained so vehement in keeping this attraction a secret. It was obvious that the half-Elf returned the sentiment. If only Erestor had told Elrond centuries ago! "I am not ready yet to reveal my beloved's identity," he said eventually, reminding himself to take this slow.

"But at least you are now considering telling me his name?" asked Elrond, hopeful. He had made more progress during these last few minutes than in the last few decades!

"I might," said Glorfindel, leaning in closer, and placing his hand atop of Elrond's. "You are the best friend I could ever wish for. Thank you." Elrond practically beamed with pride at his words and Glorfindel smiled brilliantly. Aye, it is only a matter of time before I can get them together. If it had been up to him, Elrond would have graced Erestor's bed that very night, but that would have been moving too quickly. And he preferred no longer being in Erestor's body when the two raven-haired Elves actually did the deed. He was more than happy to satisfy Legolas' desires and there was no need to include Elrond in his activities.

Enraptured at finding Erestor placing his hand on top of his, Elrond smiled adoringly at his best friend. Perhaps there is hope for us yet. Inside his heart, the certainty grew that Erestor's secret love wouldn't remain a secret that much longer. Elbereth, make that my name leaves his lips when he finally admits the truth. Settling comfortably in his chair, he maintained a tight hold on those long, elegant fingers throughout dinner, even if he did limit them to the use of one limb only. Erestor had reached out to him, establishing this first, tentative contact and he wasn't letting go again.




Elladan exchanged an amused glance with his twin. "I can't remember Glorfindel ever reacting so strongly to Adar's miruvor before."

Elrohir chuckled softly, supporting the blond Captain when Glorfindel swayed dangerously. "Maybe he had a bit too much... Or the miruvor was a bit too strong." He eyed Glorfindel closely; the Elf's eyes were at half-mast and unfocused. The blond was unsteady on his feet and mumbled incoherently. None of the whispers made much sense.

Erestor had never felt this awful before. Come to think of it – though thinking was extremely difficult at the moment – he had never drunk that much miruvor before. But he had seen Glorfindel drink the sweet liquid occasionally and he had been scared to draw attention to himself if he acted differently. Now his head was reeling, the corridor spinning and his knees felt like cotton. If it hadn't been for the twins supporting him, he doubted he would have made it back to his rooms – Glorfindel's rooms that was.

He allowed them to maneuver him into the room. A moment later, Elladan assisted him in sitting down on the bed, and then Elrohir's nimble fingers began to unbutton his shirt. He tried to sweep them away, but the twin just chuckled, amused.

"Glorfindel, cooperate! We are only trying to help!" Elladan shook his head, chuckling as well, and helped his brother undress Glorfindel.

Cold air hit his sensitive skin and Erestor shivered. Blanket... He wanted a blanket. Oh, that blanket of fur! He reached for it, and pulled the soft fur toward him whilst Elladan guided his head down onto the pillow. Yes, he wanted to sleep. Maybe Lórien would have mercy on him and he would wake up in his own body in the morning. Mumbling softly, he pressed deeper into the comfort of the bed and pillow and curled up beneath the blanket of fur.

Elladan frowned, thoughtfully. "Isn't he supposed to lead tomorrow's patrol?"

Elrohir nodded. "He is no condition to do so."

"I will take his place," announced Elladan, grinning wickedly. "Oh, Elrohir, the sentries told me Legolas is speeding ahead of his escort. I wouldn't be surprised to find him in Glorfindel's bed tomorrow morning."

"Ah, another reason to fill in for him." Elrohir smiled at his twin. "I will join the patrol as well. It has been a while since we rode together."

Elladan folded an arm around his twin and they walked toward the doorway. "I wonder how Erestor fares. Adar sounded concerned earlier."

"Our father is a healer," said Elrohir in a gentle voice, "If anyone can help Erestor heal from whatever ails him, it is Adar."

They closed the door behind them, leaving their charge to his slumber.
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