When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I can't explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.
There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.
-- Pink Floyd – Comfortably Numb
The plains
Another twig snapped. Legolas spun around scanning the dark. Who ever it was, they had seen him where he had not seen them, hiding – yes they had to be hiding, becoming one with the trees and rocks. His nightmare scenario quickly became reality when he suddenly felt something hard hit his back, and in the next second his face was buried in the ground. He tried to lift himself on his arms, but it just resulted in him being pushed into the ground harder this time. Legolas coughed and spit out a mix of blood, saliva and dirt.
Suddenly the weight on his back shifted. This was no tree falling over. This was a living creature on his back. Then why had it not bitten him yet? He was not in pain other than from the fall. Then he heard something; it made noises! And something else in the dark answered it.
It took Legolas some time to figure out, but it seemed like they were communicating in some odd way. The noises and grunts seemed to be planned; this surprised him and scared him at the same time.
The second creature sat down next to Legolas and at first the elf just held his breath in the hope that it would let him go, but then he suddenly felt a sharp pain on his scalp. The creature let go of his hair once more, and now it suddenly pulled Legolas' ear so hard that he was forced to turn his head along with the forceful pull. He opened his eyes slowly and looked directly up in the face of a young elf-like being with hair on its face. From the pictures Elladan had shown to him, he guessed that this had to be a mortal man.
The bearded face smiled down at him, but Legolas found it more a snarl than a smile. The young man turned to say something to the other one still sitting on Legolas' back. And they both laughed and the man who was gripping his ear yelled something out loud and an answer came back from several voices from the forest.
The grip tightened and Legolas felt himself panic. His heart beat like a rabbit. Who were these mortals? Why had they trapped him? And more importantly – what would they do to him? But his worries were brought to a halt when the young mortal sitting next to him pinched his cheek hard. Legolas tried to recoil but the force that held him down was too big, and so as the man continued to poke, pull and pinch him, almost as were he trying to decide what piece he should devour first, Legolas started to cry. His tears mingled with the dirt on his face as he lay there on the ground.
"It is a elf," the man said and pinched Legolas' ear once more.
"Pretty," said the man on Legolas' back.
"Too pretty for his own good!" laughed a man that stepped out from the bushes.
Legolas lay quietly, not understanding a word the men were uttering. All he understood was the crude laugh, and he closed his eyes wishing that he had never ventured out, that he had just stayed in the cave and been bored.
"Captain?" the man on Legolas' back said, "what do you want done with him?"
The man at Legolas' side looked down at the elf and suddenly pulled the elf's head back by his hair. "We'll make him scream, my friend," he hissed at Legolas' frightened expression.
Instinctively Legolas felt nothing but fear of the young man at his side. The man meant him no good, he could feel it. And when a couple of hands ripped off his boots he looked quizzically up at the young man who now wore a large grin. "Frightened, little elfie?" the man chuckled but Legolas just blinked and frowned, thinking of a possible way out from underneath the weight on his back.
If he had been able to, he would have screamed when his leggings suddenly and brutally were torn off, exposing his bare skin to the wind. Instinct told the frightened elf to get out of there fast, and he made a last effort to crawl out from under the man on his back, but was just rewarded with a knee in his neck keeping him in place. He let out a painful thin sound, sounding more like a pathetic squeak but the young man at his side just laughed more, and patted Legolas' hand. "Don't worry," he chuckled, "you'll like it."
Legolas made one more futile attempt to get free, but quickly lost the struggle as the knee on his neck forced him further down in the dirt.
The young man slapped Legolas across the face and the elf just gasped in surprise. The man looked at him as one would look at a rare animal, and hit him once more. Still no sound came from the fair-haired elf. "He's a mute," the man mumbled. "HE IS MUTE!" he yelled and laughed before he stood up and smiled. "This will be fun."
Mirkwood
Elladan felt like a trapped animal pacing the royal talan. He had begged and pleaded with his father to return to Rivendell soon, but Elrond was apparently having fun in Mirkwood, not having the same duties here as at home. And now some guests were about to show up, and a feast would be taking place. Elladan growled to himself. He wanted no feast; he wanted to go home. He had been looking forward to seeing Elrohir, but even his twin had changed since he had bonded with that damn blond. He was not even Elrohir anymore; he was just an elf. If his heart had been able to break even more, it would have. He sighed, but then he suddenly heard light footsteps in the hall, and he hid behind a drape. Why, he didn't know, as he had no reason to hide.
He watched as Elrohir entered with Dinalu at his side.
"I wonder where Elladan is hiding?" Elrohir said and leaned against his husband. "I haven't seen him all day."
Dinalu smiled at Elrohir's worries and kissed his ear gently. "I am sure he is just out enjoying the sun. There are a lot of interesting offers here in Mirkwood, and I am sure your brother will receive one or two."
"I don't think he is so easily seduced," Elrohir mumbled.
"Are you jealous, little one?" the blond laughed.
"No," Elrohir stated and let Dinalu lift him up on the dining table. "You don't understand..." He took a deep breath. "He is just so fragile, and he has never been the one to just frolic around."
"There is a first time for everything, my love," Dinalu whispered and kissed his husband sweetly on the forehead.
"Not for Elladan," Elrohir whispered but relaxed against his husband's feather light touches.
What did he mean, not for Elladan? Elladan wondered. He watched the two kiss and caress until they forgot about the conversation that had bought them there. He leaned against the large window frame and closed his eyes. This should had been his, these sweet little endearments spilling from Elrohir's lips should have been for his ears only.
"Hush, forget about Elladan, he's fine," Dinalu whispered.
Elladan froze. Had he really said that? Had his ears deceived him? They must have, for Elrohir said nothing in his defence.
Witnessing their rapidly heating coupling left Elladan feeling like a intruder. He even had the decency to blush as he heard Elrohir's voice moan softly – the most angelic sound he could think of. It sent shivers through his body, and tears to his eyes. He had to get out of this hideout. It was no longer a place to hide; it had become a trap.
He pulled the curtain to the side gently, careful to make no sound, and tried his hardest not to look at the two elves on the table. This was supposed to be mine, all mine – he thought to himself as he crept out of the dining hall.
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Chapter end notes: Add note to chapter 11 & 12; this is slightly non- con'ish, I couldn't write it more graphic than this...
- I'm sorry I really wanted to.
