Harvester of Sorrow by Azzy

Chapter notes: Chapter 18 is dedicated to Morgana - remember; it takes 35 muscles to frown and only 4 to flip the bird. And then say "Bite me!" *hugs*
They flutter behind you your possible pasts
some bright-eyed and crazy some frightened and lost
a warning to anyone still in command
of their possible future to take care
in derelict sidings the poppies entwine
with cattle trucks lying in wait for the next time
Do you remember me? How we used to be?
Do you think we should be closer?
She stood in the doorway the ghost of a smile
haunting her face like a cheap hotel sign
her cold eyes imploring the men in their Macs
for the gold in their bags or the knives in their backs
stepping up boldly one put out his hand
He said, "I was just a child then now I'm only a man"
do you remember me? How we used to be?
do you think we should be closer?
by the cold and religious we were taken in hand
shown how to feel good and told to feel bad
tongue tied and terrified we learned how to pray
now our feelings run deep and cold as the clay
and strung out behind us the banners and flags
of our possible pasts lie in tatters and rags
do you remember me? How we used to be?
do you think we should be closer?

-- Pink Floyd - your possible pasts


Rohan

"I can't really see what is wrong," the old healer said to himself and pulled his beard deep in thought. He observed the elf who sat obediently on the bed, his discarded tunic beside him. "Elves don't get sick," the man grumbled and slowly moved to his large black bag full of remedies and odd smelling salves.

"There ain't nuttin wrong with your vocal cord, son," he said to his bag before turning around to the elf with a glass containing some herbs. "Methinks you refuse to speak," he whispered. The healer knew all to well that if he didn't find anything wrong with the elf, Theoden would find him incompetent, because something was clearly wrong. But if he stated as he believed, that the elf didn't speak out of sheer willpower, he would be ridiculed. He knew he'd better come up with a diagnosis, and quickly, and 'spoiled elfitis bratticus' would not look good on paper.

He looked at the elf and sighed. "All right, you need rest, son," he said and went back to his bag and searched for yet another glass jar and put it on the mantel. "I should leave you to your rest while I speak with Theoden." He made a gesture with his hand for the elf to lie down, but Legolas just blinked, looking stupid, until the healer came over and gently pushed him down in the bed. Legolas immediately curled up to a little ball, and the old man pulled the bed cover over him. The elf smiled thankfully and the man chuckled. "Now don't expect a story and a good night kiss, elf," and with that he left the room.




"Father," Theodred said trying to reason with the king, "we 'had' to help him, he was lost."

"But what I want to know," Theoden said and sat down on his throne, resting his head in his hand, "who were the ones after him, then?"

"I do not know," Theodred sighed and sat down on the top stair at his father's feet. "He was frightened out of his mind, father; they must have done terrible things to him."

"THINK son, for the sake of the gods!" the king yelled in a split-second of anger. "What if he wronged them?"

"I don't think so, father. You didn't see the state he was in when we stumbled across him," Theodred argued and looked pleadingly at his sire.

"You don't 'think' so?" Theoden sighed. "But you don't know for sure, now do you, son?"

Theodred sighed too, and lowered his gaze to the ground, counting little specks in the marble. "No, father." Silence fell between them for a while, until Theodred finally slumped his shoulders and whispered "He doesn't look like a wrong-doer to me, sire."

"Wrong-doers come in many shapes and forms," Theoden whispered back, and rested his hand on his son's hair, stroking it lovingly. "For what it's worth, I think you are right, that elf looks completely innocent, but that does not mean that he actually 'is' innocent."

Theodred looked up at his father "I know father, many have been deceived by innocent looks and sweet smiles."

"I am glad we see things the same way then," Theoden said with a smile.

Theodred, knowing better than to question his father's judgment, just rested his head against his father's knee saying, "What have you decided, father?"

"Theodred, I know you would like to protect this elf, and I can see why. He seems so fragile and vulnerable."

"..But..." Theodred said with a voice barely audible.

"He needs to be amongst his kin, my son," Theodred said and stopped petting the raven hair of his youngling. "I will write Elrond of Rivendell, and ask for someone to come and collect this stray elf."

"..But father" the prince objected, "he will not be able to make such a journey right now."

"Peace my son, they will not be here within the next moon."

"'If' they come at all," Theodred whispered more annoyed than intended.

"Now do not interfere with my decisions, young man," Theoden said with a stern voice. "This is final, now go and fetch me the healer, I wish to hear his verdict on your strange elf."

"Yes, father," Theodred sighed and slowly got up. He didn't understand why Theoden would just send the elf away. But there was little he could do once the king's mind was made up. He bowed respectfully to his father and ruler before he hastened out the hall to find the healer.




Rivendell

Night had fallen in Rivendell, and that made Elladan restless. He paced back and forth in his room, trying to figure out ways to find his little charge. He had to act fast or he was sure that the young elf would be eaten by wargs or something similarly awful.

A knock on the door.

A knock again.

And this time Elladan heard it. "Enter!" he snarled, wondering who would have the nerve to come visit him at this hour. Elrohir had been the only one to ever do that, and Elrohir was not here. It could of course be his father, coming for a father/son chat. Now this he didn't need at all, Elrond's worried gaze and carefully chosen words.

But to his surprise it was the dark advisor entering his chamber. "Erestor!" he said with surprise written all over his face. "What are 'you' doing here?!"

"I could hear you couldn't sleep," was the reply given.

"You could 'hear' that?" Elladan asked, getting an eerie feeling that the advisor knew all he had done.

"Yes," Erestor replied, "my chambers is underneath yours, and you stomp around like a raging bull."

"Oh!" Elladan gasped and blushed slightly. "I am sorry for keeping you up."

Erestor smiled an odd smile. "You didn't keep me up, sleep seems to elude me these days" (or this millennia, the elf thought dryly).

Elladan sat down like a sack of potatoes in a chair and managed a smile. "What did you want then?"

"Show you a trick," said Erestor.

"A trick?" Elladan repeated and raised a eye brow.

"Indeed," Erestor said. "Do you know why you can't sleep? I do." He sat down on the bed and smiled a warm and reassuring smile towards the rapid paling youngster. "You listen."

"Listen?" Elladan whispered, not really believing this was happening. It all seemed so surreal.

"Yes, you listen to the wind, the chickadees, other elves talking in another room," the advisor said. His voice dropped to a whisper, "and then to your own heartbeat, that little nagging voice in your head, or thinking about all that you didn't get done today that you need to do tomorrow."

Elladan nodded, this was all true.

"What you need to do," Erestor whispered, leaning forward towards Elladan, the flames orange dim light playing on his features leaving his eyes in pitch darkness. He looked like something out of a scary old fairy tale. "What you need to do is to hear nothing, see nothing and think nothing." The advisor smiled broodingly. "You need to find your special place."

Elladan nodded but didn't understand.

"All you need to do, is to lie down on the floor, close your eyes, and I will guide you."

Elladan's mouth formed an 'o' but no sound came out.

Seeing Elladan's surprise and slight discomfort, Erestor quickly added "Do not worry Elladan, it is nothing improper."

Elladan smiled a strange smile which Erestor was not able to read, but lay down on the floor as directed and closed his eyes.

"Remember penneth, nothing is out to harm you, everything is just there for you, and only for you," the voice said, the voice that was Erestor. And while Erestor began to speak, Elladan relaxed and had a feeling he was sinking through the floor, and once out on the other side he was in a world of his own. Pictures of vast gardens and large ancient trees flashed before him as he walked down a little path in his mind, letting Erestor's voice guide his way.

He found himself in a little cottage in the woods. This is my special place? Elladan thought to himself. It was not very flattering, I had thought something more... uhm... dashing? Extravagant?

"Shhhhhhhh," a voice said. Elladan spun around and saw no one. He was confused - it was not Erestor's voice, for he could still hear the advisor chanting in the background. This was someone else. Elladan felt as though the hair rose on his neck, feeling an icing cold rush down his spine and back up in his brain. "Who's there?" he whispered but only received a deep rumbling chuckle.

Erestor saw the young elf stir and look troubled. He quickly took Elladan's left hand and with his free hand he rubbed soothing little circles over the half-elf's forehead. "Hush now, Elladan, remember nothing is there to hurt you, everything there is for your pleasure alone," he whispered. Elladan seemed to relax, and so Erestor continued.
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