Harvester of Sorrow by Azzy

Your eyes
they often lie
and leave me feeling
misunderstood

our tragedy
plays out like a symphony
a breath and a whisper
are your clues

I don't need sympathy
or your apologies
why don't you understand?
The face you see
well it belongs to me
and I'm doing the best I can...

just to make you smile
just to make you smile
again...

Every now and then you have to see
that the wall we've built has landed on me
every now and then why don't we pretend
that things will come together in the end
every now and then just open your eyes
does every part of everything have to be right
every now and then- so that after a while
I might get through and make you smile

--The cruxshadows – heart on the sleeve



Elrohir looked over his shoulder before he slipped into Theodred's chambers. He knew the princeling would not be there. He had heard him move down the corridor earlier, so the elf would be alone about now...

"Hello," he whispered in his native tongue.

Legolas stepped out of the shadows at the window with a sad smile, and Elrohir came to stand at the window as well, looking out over the plain, seeing a forest in the distance. "Miss home?" he asked.

Legolas nodded slowly.

"I must ask you something, little Ferret," Elrohir said. "When I say home, what are the three first things you think of?" It was a trick and he knew it... but he had decided to take this approach to things, since his and Elladan's secret sign language was rather limited. – His and Elladan's secret signs... This nagging thought wouldn't let him alone. He was sure that Elladan had something to do with this, but where he fit in he didn't really understand.

Legolas looked deep in thought, until he reached out and touched Elrohir's hair, before ghosting his fingers over his chin. "Me?" Elrohir whispered.

Legolas nodded, and Elrohir paled.

The mute elf then made the sign for a rabbit, before grabbing a piece of cloth and petting it. "A cloth rabbit?" Elrohir breathed... "Ai! By the Valar..." he sighed, it was true, it had to be Elladan! No one else wore his face, and as a child he had had a stuffed toy rabbit. His father had told him that Elladan had sacked the attic room. Elrond had thought that Elladan had been sad and angry, but what if he had really been searching for something?!

But the next thing Legolas did really puzzled Elrohir. He grabbed some strands of his hair and braided it into a helpless chunky braid, but Elrohir could still see what it was he meant. "A Mirkwood warrior braid?" The half elf sat down in a near by comfortable chair and stared at the elf. "A Mirkwood braid, where does this fit in?" he mumbled to himself. He would have to give this some thought.

He must have drifted off for a while, because suddenly Legolas was sitting on his armrest. Elrohir looked up at the young elf. "Is there something wrong?" he asked, slightly puzzled by the youth's sad expression.

Legolas made the sign for mortal, and pointed at Theodred's wolf pelt.

"Theodred?"

The golden-haired youth nodded.

"Is there something wrong with him?" Elrohir asked, but upon seeing Legolas blush he chuckled. "Oh!"

"He is a good man, my friend" Elrohir said softly, seeing Legolas' goofy smile. "You did right in following him." He put his arm around the waist of the slender young elf. "I am sure he likes you too, my friend." Elrohir had come here as a collector of a stray elf, but had ended up as a regular cupid. Why or how this had happened he didn't really understand. "I am sure you will find a way to let him know," he whispered.

Legolas suddenly touched his face, making him turn his eyes to the youth; he wore a frown and asked why Elrohir was so sad.

"Sad? I am not sad," Elrohir said, knowing his lie would be detected right away. So he just sighed and rested his head against Legolas' shoulder. "I miss Dinalu." When Legolas didn't make one single move, Elrohir continued speaking, a little uneasy at first, but suddenly the words just flowed from him. "I wish he could get along with Elladan, and I wish he would understand how important it is that I don't hurt my brother. I cannot betray our pact. Dinalu should understand, after all, he used to have a brother." He sighed. "And this is why I am here all alone, if he had been here, I would not.... h-have been so lonely. I was already alone when I came here," Elrohir whispered and swallowed that lump in his throat. "He had been denying me access to his chambers, placing me in a guest room. He had not kissed me or held me for a long, long time. Neither have we been," he searched for the word and cleared his throat before whispering, "intimate, in over a year."

Elrohir's voice grew thick with emotion as he continued. "Now along comes that man, Eomer. I know what it is he wants, Ai.. Why do my body and my heart want two different things?" He looked up at Legolas, searching for some kind of answer in his kinsman's eyes, but when he saw Legolas was crying, he was no longer able to hold back his own frustration, and his tears began to fall as well. He had been crying so much for such a long time while he was in Mirkwood, so he had come to loathe the taste of his own tears, but right now they only felt liberating. "I don't want to cry," he offered weakly. "I want..." He fell silent, and just buried his head in the other elf's chest, feeling the mute elf's arms wrap around him, in an effort to soothe him.

When his tears finally subsided, he sat up straight once more, blinking as he wiped the wetness off with his sleeve. "Forgive me," he said with a hard voice. "I never meant to loose my composure." He took a deep breath to steady his shallow breathing, letting the air out slowly. "Right, then," he mumbled to himself, before he turned to look at Legolas again, who still looked like his heart was breaking. "Don't worry about me, little one, I will manage – you see, it will all turn out right in the end."

Legolas nodded weakly, but Elrohir saw in his eyes that he did not really believe it.

Elrohir stood up from the chair, and Legolas slid down in the warm seat. "I must tell you something, but you have to promise me to not try and tell Theodred in any way." It seemed stupid to stand here and tell a mute elf to keep his mouth shut, but he felt he had to do it.

"I had a talk with Theodred's father, King Theoden," Elrohir said. He looked down at his feet. Why had he just sat there and encouraged the elf to pursue his heart, and now he was telling him that it was impossible? Ai, he most certainly was confused these days. "And he," Elrohir paused, -just get it over with- he chided himself, "told me we have to leave for Rivendell as soon as possible."

Legolas looked confused and made the sign for leave and then he pointed at the pelt once more...

Elrohir's heart sank as he nodded. "Yes, we are to leave Theodred, too."

The young elf just shook his head in refusal.

"If it's any help, I understand why you won't leave," Elrohir said, "but unless we come up with something quickly, then we have to leave, with or without Theodred!"

The youth looked a bit anxious, but at last he smiled and nodded, and Elrohir nodded back.

"Good! Then I will try and stall the king."




Rivendell

"Glorfindel, Erestor," Elrond said with a sigh. "I am glad you both could find time to have this meeting."

"But of course, my lord," Glorfindel said and looked over at Erestor. Both of them had noticed the worn look on their lord, but had decided to let Elrond speak first.

"I wanted you both to give me your counsel on this," Elrond said and pinched the bridge of his nose. "My son... Elladan..." he paused and looked up at Erestor, "is not well."

"No he is not," Erestor agreed.

Glorfindel was apparently oblivious and blinked confusedly. "What is wrong with Elladan?"

"He..." Elrond started, and Erestor took over with an icy smile. "He cut off his own ear as a gift for Elrohir."

"Oh!" Glorfindel gasped and blushed weakly at his own stupidity.

"I have been trying to find out what needs be done about this behaviour," Elrond said. "If his mother had been here, she would have known how to mend him, but she is not. There are only the three of us here."

"With all due respect, what about Elrohir and Arwen?" Erestor said. "Perhaps they can wake him from this state."

"I would rather not bring home Elrohir to see his brother like this. It would be devastating for him, and I do believe he is having a hard time himself. He would push all his troubles away for the sake of his brother. But we all know troubles do not disappear. They bottle up if they are not dealt with, and I simply cannot ask that from Elrohir," Elrond said and with a loud sigh he reached for his glass of water on his desk.

"I see your point, my lord, but although Celebrian is not here, her mother is," Glorfindel said with a smug grin. "And she is as wise as her daughter."

"Ah yes, Lady Galadriel," Erestor murmured. "I do think you are right, Glorfindel."

Elrond gulped down the water and smiled at the Balrog slayer. "Lorien," he whispered. "You are a genius Glorfindel... yes, his heart and soul will mend in Lorien."

"So be it, my lord," Erestor said with a smile. "I will go and write a letter for the lord and lady."

"Yes, you do that, Chief Councilor."
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