Harvester of Sorrow by Azzy

Let me watch by the fire and remember my days
And it may be a trick of the firelight
But the flickering pages that trouble my sight
Is a book I'm afraid to write

It's the book of my days, it's the book of my life
And it's cut like a fruit on the blade of a knife
And it's all there to see as the section reveals
There's some sorrow in every life

If it reads like a puzzle, a wandering maze
Then I won't understand 'til the end of my days
I'm still forced to remember,
Remember the words of my life

There are promises broken and promises kept
Angry words that were spoken, when I should have wept
There's a chapter of secrets, and words to confess
If I lose everything that I possess
There's a chapter on loss and a ghost who won't die
There's a chapter on love where the ink's never dry
There are sentences served in a prison I built out of lies.

There's a chapter on fathers a chapter on sons
There are pages of conflicts that nobody won
And the battles you lost and your bitter defeat,
There's a page where we fail to meet

There are tales of good fortune that couldn't be planned
There's a chapter on god that I don't understand
There's a promise of Heaven and Hell but I'm damned if I see

Now the daylight's returning
And if one sentence is true
All these pages are burning
And all that's left is you

Though the pages are numbered
I can't see where they lead
For the end is a mystery no-one can read
In the book of my life

-- Sting – book of my life


Theodred was sitting in Legolas' private chambers, watching the ink dry on his letter. It was the hardest letter he had ever written, but at the same time the most liberating. Dinalu had talked to Thranduil, and in the end the king had allowed Theodred to stay, and with time, when he got used to it, perhaps he'd let him woo his son. Theodred smiled at this. He couldn't wait until he was officially allowed to show his love for Legolas.

He had tried to write this letter a million times, but how was he to explain to his father that he intended to stay in Mirkwood till the day he should perish? The only way he knew was to just disown his inheritance, saying that he was lost to Rohan, and that Eomer would make the most valiant successor where he himself had failed, in choosing his heart over his people. He chose to stay here with the woodland elves, until his weary body should rest in their soil.

Legolas sneaked up behind his lover and wrapped his arms around his neck from behind. "Meleth nin," he whispered in the young man's ear. Theodred rested his head back, looked up at his lover, and his heart sped up. "Meleth nin," he whispered back - it was the right decision, yes! And in this moment he was sure that King Theoden had never in his life experienced love like he had. If he had, he would never had tried to end their union.




The Grey Havens

Elrohir dismounted from his horse, and walked over to Arwen, helping his sister down from her grey horse.

"Let us go greet Cirdan," he said, taking Arwen's hand and leading her towards Cirdan's little house. They found him in the back, feeding the seagulls, cheering to himself as they caught the dry bread in the air like little flying acrobats.

"My lord Cirdan?" Elrohir said, squeezing Arwen's hand.

The white-haired elf turned around and smiled at the two half-elves. "You must be Elrond's children. I have been awaiting you."

"Yes my lord, I am Elrohir and this is Lady Arwen," Elrohir said with a smile. "I trust my father has sent a message regarding our arrival."

"He did," Cirdan said with a smile. "I have heard rumours about your exquisite beauty, lady Arwen, but now I see they were all true." The elven lord smiled at the female elf and then turned to Elrohir. "And you look every bit as regal and brave as your father."

"Thank you," they said in unison.

"Now." Cirdan said with a sad smile, "who will steer the ship?"

Completely dumbfounded, not having given that a thought, Elrohir looked at Arwen and said, "I will, I will take him to Valinor."

"No!" Arwen gasped. "You cannot do that!"

"And just why not?" Elrohir said.

"Because you would break too many hearts, Dinalu's, father's and mine," the female elf said burying her brother in a embrace.

"But he is my twin," Elrohir whispered pitifully.

"He is my brother as well," Arwen said in a chiding tone, pulling from the embrace, looking at Elrohir. "But so are you."

Cirdan looked at the youths, smiling. "Come, let us carry your brother onto the boat, and then decide who is to sail, giving all time to think."

Elrohir nodded with grim determination, worrying Arwen.

They helped each other pulling Elladan out of the wagon; Elrohir cradled his twin to his chest, giving in to his tears, making everyone present look at the ground in sorrow. "This was not how it was supposed to be, brother mine - you were supposed to be happy, hunting, riding, loving and singing. Not lying limply in my arms," he whispered. "It is so unfair."

"He chose this, Elrohir," Arwen said softly, wiping away tears from her brother's cheeks. "Never forget that. No one knows why, but he chose to do all these things in his mind instead of in life."

The little crowd of elves followed Cirdan and the young half-elves to the ship. "So," Cirdan said, "the ship needs a captain."

"You will stay,," Arwen said hotly stomping her foot on the ground, looking every bit like their mother when she was angered. "I will not have you throw away your time here like this! And besides. We will meet him again regardless."

"He will be with mother, right?" Elrohir whispered weakly.

Arwen nodded. "Yes, mother will take care of him and nurse him, and when we leave these shores, he will wait for us on the white beach."

"Oh, I want to believe that," Elrohir whispered.

"Then it shall be so," Arwen said.

Cirdan turned to the little crowd of Rivendell guards who had accompanied them there. "Will any of you steer the ship?"

The elves looked away, none of them willing to leave family and friends just yet. But then one little elf stepped forth. "I will steer the ship, my lord," he whispered.

"Are you sure?" Cirdan said. "You realise that you cannot return here, once you set foot on the white shores."

"Aye," the little Noldor elf said, raising his head to meet Cirdan's eyes. "I have no family or lover here, they all reside in Valinor, and my heart greatly desires to see them again. But I made a vow to Lord Elrond, and so I have no other obligation here on Middle-earth than to serve my lord."

Cirdan smiled a loving smile at the young elf. "I cannot think of any better way for you to show your affection for your lord, my friend."

"Thank you," the little elf said.




Hours Later

Elrohir had placed Elladan in a narrow bed in the boat, and had kissed his brother goodbye, until Arwen had dragged him from the boat and unto the shore. "Do not prolong your sorrow, my brother" she had said. And Elrohir had just followed in a dreamlike state.

The little elf had hugged his friends and walked aboard the ship. "What is your name, my friend?" Elrohir said, grasping the elf's wrist.

"Arod, my lord," the elf said.

"I will have the minstrels compose a song in your honour." his voice broke and he let go of Arod's wrist. "Ta-take care of him," he whispered.

"I will, my lord Elrohir," Arod smiled. "I will guard him with my life."

Elrohir nodded, failing to find the words to answer. H just watched Cirdan removing the board to the boat. This was a nightmare, he told himself, and every happy moment they had shared as children flashed through his mind. "We will meet him again soon, right?" he whispered through his tears, leaning on Arwen.

"Yes, that I promise," Arwen whispered back, wiping her own tears away with the back of her hand.

They watched the boat disappear into the horizon, and Arwen rested her head on her brother's shoulder. "You should ride to Mirkwood," she whispered. "You should be with your husband."

Elrohir nodded. "Will you return to father?"

"Yes."




Years later - Rivendell

Dinalu and Elrohir lay back on the bank of the Anduin, feeling the afterglow on the rocks from the day's hot sun warm their bodies. This was the time of the midsummer festivities, and so guest had arrived from afar. And much to Elrond's joy, Elrohir had come with both princes of Mirkwood and the prince of Rohan, now Legolas' bound mate and a grown man. It had worried Elrohir to see how fast it seemed the years left their mark on Theodred, but had chosen to rejoice in Legolas' love instead of worrying about the inevitable.

Dinalu turned his head and kissed Elrohir's shoulder. "Beloved?" he whispered.

"Yes," Elrohir whispered, "what?" He turned his head and kissed his husband on the forehead.

"Look, its Eärendil," the blond elf whispered and pointed up in the sky at a bright star.

"You are right," Elrohir mused, caressing Dinalu's stomach with his hand. "Do.do you think Elladan is flying with him?"

"I'm sure he is," Dinalu said softly.

"Oh, I want a ride too!" Elrohir said with a little smile.

"Knowing you, you will nag you grandfather and Elladan for ever," Dinalu chuckled.

"I probably would," Elrohir chuckled back. "You were right all along my love, I never lost a brother." The half elf took a deep breath and whispered, "he's just waiting for me."

Dinalu rolled on top of his husband with a lazy smile. "I love you," he whispered, kissing Elrohir softly.

"I know," Elrohir snickered, wrapping his arms around Dinalu. Feeling loved, warm and happy, he was sure that Legolas had figured out who had kept him as a child, but he had never wanted to address the matter, and Elrohir kept his last wish to his brother, never revealing his knowledge, not even to Elrond. He just saw no reason; everything had almost turned out perfectly hadn't it? - Even Thranduil had warmed up to Theodred, and finally allowed his son to marry the man. And through rumours they had heard that the old king of Rohan had installed Eomer as the next in command. This warmed Elrohir's heart, knowing that Eomer would be a kind and thoughtful ruler when that time came. But that time would not come yet, and now was the time for love and enjoying the things one had in life, not the "what ifs," and "has beens." It was a time to harvest the happiness that had emerged from all the trials and sorrow they had undergone. And Midsummer had always been the perfect time for that. "Midsummer harvest," Elrohir whispered.
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