Title: All About You (1/4)
Author: Camilla
E-mail: VerdandeUrdarbrunn@hotmail.com
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Aragorn/Haldir (some Haldir/Arwen, Arwen/Aragorn implied).
Summary: It's all about Arwen, isn't it?
Notes: Set before the fellowship. Epilogue in Lothlorien.
Disclaimers: Not mine! No money made!
Feedback: Yes, please!
Beta'd by: Sue. Thanks! You're my hero.


Part I

Arwen looked down at the gates of Rivendell. It was a beautiful morning, 
spring had just arrived and the sun had grown warm enough to melt the 
remaining ice in the mountains beyond. But  Arwen did not see the beauty of 
her surroundings this morning. She stood by the windows in her chamber, her 
hands held tightly around the pendant that hung around her neck.
Her father was down there, greeting a new guest. Clasped his hands in his. 
Pressing them gently.

The housekeeper stood at bay, waiting patiently to take care of the guest as 
soon as her father would let him go. Arwen wished he'd never come at all.
She had a thousand good reasons for not liking him. Still her heart jumped 
at the mere sight of him.

The innocent looking elven princess wet her lower lip with the tip of her 
tongue as her gaze fell on the guest's narrow hips, his muscled
upper-body, the silken hair that she'd once known the touch of, and could 
never, ever forget.

It was not easy, even for one immortal, to forget the first love. Even worse 
when they had broken your heart.

Her father could easily forget, though. Or so it seemed...
She realized with a sigh that it had been centuries since she and *he*
had first met and come to know each other so well, so it *would* be wrong of 
her to blame Elrond for welcoming him, but it still hurt...just a tiny bit.

She knew also this particular guest well enough to realize, he never
brought good news. With dread she prepared herself for the unavoidable first 
meeting as she saw the March Warden of Lorien enter the main hall with her 
father.

She still hadn't seen his face.
She would be safe as long as she didn't see his face!

With a shrug she disposed of such a thought, she was no longer a child, and 
went over to look into the mirror.
Beautiful, yes...But flushed. As if her lover had just returned, or left for 
good.
She straightened the fabric of her blue velvet dress and ran her fingers 
over the mithril circlet embracing her forehead. This one was made in 
Lorien, and suddenly she didn't feel like using it.  She took it off, 
letting her hair fall loose down her back instead.
And why did she even care how she looked?  This game was lost centuries ago.

***********************

"Haldir of Lorien" she greeted him. Motioned him in from the hall. "What a 
surprise to see you so soon, my father has prepared a banquet for 
tonight...We would surely have seen each other then."

"Arwen Evenstar!" His dark blue eyes were in hers. "I have missed you
Arwen." He took one of her hands in his and pressed his lips to the palm in 
a soft, fluttering kiss.
"Aren't you glad I am here?" He added and sent her one
of his ironic smirks. Enough to make her breath shudder as she redrew her 
hand from his.

" Of course I am...thrilled to see you again," she said politely. Knowing 
that he knew her well enough to see through her facade. "Not often does a 
guardian of Lorien travel this far...Surely you must have something 
important on your mind..." she trailed off, leaving it up to him to keep the 
conversation going.

Haldir smiled and threw back his grey cloak.
"I have", he replied in answer to her question. "It is you..."

"Me!" Arwen couldn't keep the surprise out of her voice. "What do you
want with me?"
Surely you haven't changed your mind after all these years, she
wanted to add, but let it go. It would not be right. She would only make a 
fool out of herself.
The fire in her bitterness was still intact she noticed.
It made her sad.

"It must be something important since it can't wait until dinner," she
continued, noticing how shallow it sounded. But not as shallow as him, she 
mused. Not by far...

"Arwen..." Haldir started out. "I will not delay this in social
conversation. I prefer action to negotiations," his voice was smooth, a
silken caress. Arwen had to concentrate to understand the meaning of his
words.

"And...?"

"I am here to do what nobody else will. I'm going to talk you out of this 
folly!"

"What folly?!" Arwen hissed, not used to being openly accused of anything, 
especially not folly. And by him, of all people!

" You know perfectly well what I am talking about.  Wedding this Ranger, to 
die with him...Are you at all aware of what you are doing?"
Arwen flushed with anger. It was one thing was to argue with her father and 
her brothers, but this was nonsense.

"I didn't know that my affairs were a topic of conversation in the Golden 
Woods," she said.

"But it is..." His voice was dripping with honey. Coiling up her
spine.
Some things never changed.

" He is no mere ranger either. He is..."

"Aragorn, son of Arathorn...Yes I know," he interrupted her. "But, my lovely 
one, what does that have to do with us? We are elves. Not men...And therein 
lies the difference...You will live forever. He, ….will not."

" Rather a man's age with him, than facing eternity without!" she said
sternly, firmly meeting his gaze. "And who are you, Haldir of Lorien, to 
come to my father's house and lecture me about love?!"

Haldir didn't answer at once. His eyes were on the floor. He raised them 
slowly. Tracing her with his gaze until it fell still in her eyes.

"Yes, who am I indeed, to lecture about love? For I don't know what love is, 
do I, Arwen?"

Suddenly she felt foolish to have brought it up.

"I am sorry, Haldir, I did not mean to...It's been so long. We should both 
let it slide..."
Haldir moved in to stand beside her. A lock of her black hair got caught 
between his fingers as he reached to her. He caressed it slowly.

"For an elf, you are very impatient, Arwen." He let go off her hair
and stroked her cheek instead.  Unsure what to do she stood still. Secretly 
enjoying the sensation of his touch on her skin.

"Don't you realize," Haldir continued. "We have centuries to take from.You 
have already lived for so long. You know we will never die! Even if our 
people are leaving, there will be a new world on the other side...We will 
never, ever truly end..."

” Well I know this, Haldir," she said and moved uneasy on the spot. Her 
hands held her upper arms as if protecting herself.
"I know it, and still it is not enough..."

"Then have him as your lover!" Haldir said, removing his fingers from her 
face. "And when he dies, find someone new. Someone you can live
with. Someone who will cross the sea with you...One of our kind!"

"Like you?!" Arwen wanted to laugh, if it hadn't been so sad. Was this some 
kind of proposal?

Haldir read her thoughts again. He was good at that.

" Me..." he smiled, "or someone else with similar features".

Arwen smiled back at him:

" You? Indeed!" Her voice grew thick with scorn.

Haldir sighed;

"Arwen,...Arwen, did I hurt you so badly?" He moved up now behind her. His 
finger found her neck under the hair and crossed it deliberately slowly.
" I never said, forever, you know..."

"Are you saying that, we still have a future?" she said, leaning in to his 
finger.

" We have eternity," Haldir replied. " Who knows what might happen...".

Suddenly she spun around, facing him. Her eyes were dark as
she moved in closer until only a few inches separated them.

"With you?! When did you become such a fool? You had your time with
me...What makes you think you can come near me again?"

"Because I can!" He said, and gave her a quick, confident smile before
moving in swiftly, grabbing the sensitive tip of her ear with his teeth. 
Touching it with his tongue. Making her fall into him with a deep, 
unintentional sigh.

"See," he said into her ear while holding her close to his body. "I can
still make you soften in my arms...Still make you sigh against my chest..."

A bitter laugh from the woman in his arms:

"And for that I should leave my Estel? Who trusts me, who loves me.And
whom I love back..."  She shoved him away from her with a motion of her arm. 
" I love him...And I'm staying here with him, until the day I die".

" Your father is against it," Haldir tried to argue.

"Who says my father is right?  He is not my watcher!" She replied.

" He gave you consent to wed me if I had wanted ...It doesn't make him a bad 
elf, or father, in my opinion..." he answered with a smirk.

"Then why didn't you?!" She hissed, unable to keep her emotions under
control.

Haldir grabbed her by the shoulders;

"I told you then, I'm telling you know...You were too young...I would have 
spent several centuries just raising you! But, I still hoped..."

"That when I grew up," she continued his thread. " When I had grown into a
mature elf...You could come back and claim me?" It was so clear to her now. 
Why hadn't she seen it before?
"Too bad...It didn't turn out that way..."

"Arwen!" Haldir said. "I just want you to be happy...Be it with me or
someone else...I do love you, even if I don't love you the way you want me
to all the time. But believe this: I do not want you to die!" His eyes were 
dark, more serious than she could remember ever seeing them. Still, it 
didn't light hope in her heart as she would have expected.

"Aragorn is...wise...and beautiful. A worthy ruler. He is everything I
want in a man..."

"But don't you see, that's exactly the problem.You shouldn't want
anything in a man. You should want it in an elf!"

"My experiences with elven males aren't very good." she muttered.

" But they can be," he said. "Please don't go marrying him out of anger."

"I'm not!" She said. "You don't even know him! You don't even know who
he..."

"Is? Oh, yes I do. I saw him the last time I was here, while you were in 
Lorien...And, I've watched him from afar... He is a worthy man! A born 
soldier. He *is* as beautiful as you say...But still, he is not an elf."

Arwen fell silent, giving him an opportunity to continue:

" They don't measure time as we do. They are so eager to live, they have but 
a short time...Your lover may outlive most of them due to his
heritage, but he will still be but a child compared to you, my love...When 
did ever a relationship between one of ours and one of them end well? Do not 
go through with this! It will only cause you grief and sorrow."

"I do not believe that!" She said. "Aragorn is a strong man, true to his 
word of honor, he will give me a good..."

"Word of honor?!" the elf in front of her exploded. "Men do not know any 
such word...Their hearts are as easily swayed as the first green in the 
spring. They have no experience with the world. They do not know how to be 
true to their hearts. Their flesh is open to seduction. And so are their 
hearts...No, Arwen, don't ever trust a man on his word of honor!"

"Aragorn is different!" She argued. Her voice tense but surprisingly cold.

"Really?" Haldir said. His mouth turned into a vicious grin.
"Show me a man who can stand by his word...Where is he? The man we're
arguing about? Shouldn't he be here? Defending his queen?"

Arwen managed a smile;

"He is in Mirkwood on Gandalf's bidding. He is hunting down the creature 
called Gollum."

"So he is going the Grey Wizard's errand, then?"

"So it seems...."

"Does he know about us?"

The turn of the conversation caught her by surprise:

"No!" She said. "Why should I tell him? It's been such a long
time."

"But it still grieves you, doesn't it Arwen? He should know what's in your 
heart..."

She just looked at him, silent, amused:

"I rather would not tell him. Men are sensitive when it comes to past
lovers, and...Haldir?! You're not jealous of him, are you?"
Surprise coloring her voice.

Haldir gave her a blank stare.

"This is not about me, or us, it's about you Arwen. All about you!"

" I guess I should be flattered," she said. "As it is ...I am not."

"Very well, I knew talking to you would do no good. But I am going to end 
this, at least I will try...You are too precious to be lost! At least
without a battle."

"What are you going to do?" she mocked him. "Tell him about our long gone 
relationship? He wasn't even born..."

Haldir just looked at her, a smile curling his  lips.

"Oh no, " he said teasingly. Letting the weight of his gaze rest in hers 
until she thought she couldn't take it any longer.

" You don't know me very well after all, do you? I can do a lot better than 
that!" he said, bowed slightly and without another word; left the chamber. 
Leaving only a lingering scent of sweet herbs and woodland behind.

********


He was not present at the banquet and she did not see him again that day.
The day after she learned that he had left.

Nobody seemed to know where he was headed, and that filled her heart with 
cold, unnerving fear.


Part II

Aragorn sat by the fire, resting his head after a long day of fruitless
hunting. The creature Gollum was nowhere to be found. The woods were not 
depressing as such, Aragorn was used to solitude, but perhaps they were a 
little too dark...

He had a hard time keeping his spirits up. He felt tired and weary. His back 
hurt from a clumsy jump from a rock. He should have gone down to the river, 
try to clean up a bit but couldn't really see the point. No one was there to 
smell him anyway...
He missed his fellow rangers and the Last Homely House of Rivendell, *his* 
home...He missed Arwen.

A sudden movement caught his attention. Quick and graceful like a cat he was 
on his feet, motioning his hand towards his sword.

"Who is there?" he said in a demanding voice, his eyes scanning the dark 
forest for signs.

"Good evening, Estel," a soft voice spoke from the darkness, "I've been
looking for you."

"And you are?" Aragorn replied, still frozen in place with his hand on the 
hilt of his sword.  A tall, slender elf stepped out of the dark. Aragorn 
registered long, blond, almost silvery hair and grey clothing. The colors of 
Lothlorien.

"I am Haldir," the elf said. "Haldir of Lorien...We have met before," he 
smiled, "but you were not much more than a child then...Now, you're a man!"
An unnerving smile appeared on the elf's face as he spoke those last words.
Aragorn couldn't quite work it out but decided to let it slide...He
relaxed and let go of his sword, deciding this was no enemy but an ally.

"Greetings, Haldir of Lorien" he said and bowed low, vaguely remembering 
having heard of the elf before, referred to as one of the Lady Galadriel's  
most trusted and revered elves, and a March Warden of Lorien. However, he 
couldn't recall having ever met him on any of his brief visits in Lorien.
"What can I do for you?" he said at last, as the elf stood still in front of 
him, measuring Aragorn with his gaze.
Haldir bowed low, never ceasing to smile as he rose and looked
Aragorn in the eyes.

"First of all; the Lady Arwen sends her greetings. I visited Imladris on my 
way here," he finished the sentence.
"Secondly, your hunt for the creature Gollum has proven a failure, so
far..." Haldir measured smirked. "It is also, " he continued, "in
Lothlorien's interest that this creature not be allowed to roam the woods. 
Other...forces are looking for him...We will not have them attracted to our 
realms. I am here to help." He concluded, surprising Aragorn with his 
frankness.

He smiled slightly.

"And why, Haldir of Lorien, if you'll forgive my bluntness, do you think 
your help will be needed?"

"I'm an elf!" The other one replied. "You might need my skills!"

As much as he hated to admit it, Aragorn saw his point. A strong elf, used 
to the woods, was never a bad idea. He could probably assume him to be just 
as skilled as himself when it came to both tracking and weaponry. The two of 
them could probably track the creature faster and more effectively.

"Welcome, then Haldir. Your help is much appreciated." He maneuvered towards 
the small camp fire, gesturing for the elf to make himself comfortable.

"Thank you, Estel." Haldir sat down gracefully with the bow and quiver in 
his hands. Aragorn recognized the white arrows of Lorien. Legendary for 
their precision. No, this was not a bad idea...

"So tell me..." he said, "how are things in Rivendell?"

"Well, when I left." Haldir answered. His voice was soft and low.

"And the lady Arwen?"

"Well." Haldir stated, offering him a slight smile. "She seemed very
confident in you...and your abilities." he continued. His eyes never left 
Aragorn's.

Aragorn blushed and cursed himself for not being able to avert his gaze. The 
elf's self-assurance was unnerving. It made him feel a lot younger than he 
was.
He was used to the ways of elves. Their calm and their pride. But for some 
reason Arwen's kin in Lothlorien had always had a way of making him feel 
inferior. They kept so much to themselves they almost became a different 
breed. A new species. The woods of Lorien were oozing with magic and the 
creatures living there seemed to absorb it. Becoming ethereal. Untouchable.

He looked at Haldir. His face, like carved, smooth marble. And burning
eyes, pieces of molten, dark glass under jet black lashes, all of it set in 
an ivory frame.
His lips seemed impossibly red against the pale skin. Like
forest-berries, Aragorn thought. With a tint of blue to them.
High sculptured cheeks, not a flaw in the pale complexion.
The elves of Lorien were beautiful, doubtlessly fascinating, but also very 
frightening. This one was no exception.

Suddenly he grew aware that the elf was studying him too.
"What do you see?" Aragorn asked, caught in a moment of  anticipation.
Haldir stretched his long limbs, putting his weapons to the side.

"I see, a tired, weary man...who's been alone for too long," he said.
"Someone who thinks me dangerous...but why?"
Haldir's half-smile along with his way of dragging out words made him
seem feline.

"I...I don't know." Aragorn answered. "It's...you, your kind is, different 
from the elves I know."

"Am I different, from Arwen?" Haldir asked.
Aragorn looked into the deep, blue pools of Haldir's eyes. What he saw in 
them was nothing familiar.  Ancient, and yes, disturbingly different.

"Yes," he said at last. "You are very different from her."

"Good!" Haldir said without any explanation and rested on his back, hiding 
his face from Aragorn's view.
Aragorn, unsure how he was supposed to behave sat still, musing over the 
elf's cryptic words.

At last the March warden spoke again;

"You could doubtless use a bath, Ranger!"

******

He had to admit it. The hunt went faster and was far more entertaining
when they were two. Haldir was the perfect companion.
He moved through the forest without bending a leaf, silent and quick. His 
seeing and hearing was exceptionally keen. He never spoke at the wrong time. 
And when he did speak he proved to have a dry, entertaining sense of humor. 
He seldom laughed himself but his eyes would sparkle with amusement.
Unlike Aragorn he never touched meat, but would help him hunt for food. Then 
they would sit by the fire. Aragorn with his freshly cooked rabbit, Haldir 
with his lembas, nuts and berries from the forest.

"The woods seem less gloomy now you're here." Aragorn said one night.

”Indeed? "Haldir replied, "but we still haven't seen anything of the 
creature in question." Suddenly he leaned forward and put a hand on the 
man's knee.
"But I do appreciate your company, Estel." he said and withdrew his hand. 
For some reason the spot felt empty afterwards. The weight of Haldir’s hand, 
brief as the moment had been, had been both comforting and, something 
else...Thrilling?

Aragorn put the thought to rest, smiling at his new friend:

"The feeling is mutual." he said and received a blazing smile in return.

Now, almost two weeks after the elf's arrival, he couldn't understand how he 
could have thought Haldir frightening. Haldir was just beautiful, and wise. 
And a good friend as well.
He didn't speak much of himself, though.  Only seldom could Aragorn catch a 
glimpse of the elf's past and his life in Lorien. A few anecdotes about him 
and his brothers, descriptions of the defenses of Lorien, that was all. 
Rather they spoke of  food and herbs, horses, games, politics, their gods, 
the rising of the dark
powers, the future of Middle-Earth and even the fact that the elves were 
leaving the shores.

"Are you going?" Aragorn asked, realizing that he didn't want Haldir to
disappear from his world.

"One day..." Haldir answered. " I might...."
The answer was not unexpected, but it saddened Aragorn nevertheless.

*******

"How old are you?" Aragorn asked another day.

"Older than you can imagine..." Haldir smiled back at him. " I had your lady 
Arwen as my own when she was but a maid. And I was already ancient then," he 
said to illustrate. He did not miss the turmoil of emotions stumbling across 
Aragorn's face.
"Oh", he said, leaning back in his feline way, "You weren't born yet, my 
friend. And she was so young...I thought you knew about it..."
Aragorn pulled himself together, deciding that of course it could not
matter, this was centuries ago. Arwen was *not* a young woman, measured in 
human years.

"How was she then?" He asked instead, deciding to pursue the matter for an 
opportunity to learn more about the woman he was to wed.

"Very much like she is now, actually" Haldir looked up at the sky, a
half-smile curving his lips into a sensuous bow. "Stubborn, independent, 
rash...Beautiful..." he added, just to see the slightest expression of 
jealousy flare to life in the man's eyes.
"Don't worry," he laughed. A deep, dry sound. "I do not love her like
that...anymore..." His eyes rested on Aragorn. For a long, lingering moment.

Aragorn's breath got caught in his throat. He could not possibly have read 
what he thought he did in those twinkling, blue diamonds in front of him. It 
had to be a mistake.

And yes, when he broke their stare and looked back, the elf seemed as usual. 
His eyes blank, but still very much alive under heavy lids. His lips caught 
in that half-amused expression so typical of him.

******

Aragorn talked to Haldir about his life. Even that dark chapter. Of his 
decision not to claim his rightful inheritance.  They were walking through a 
particularly bushy area. Aragorn had to fight his way forward. The elf of 
course, moved as if the vegetation did not exist.

"So much can happen yet," Haldir said. "Maybe you will have to claim it one 
day, out of a higher purpose, not of your own will...That has happened 
before."

"Can you tell the future?" Aragorn asked and looked back at him.

"...No..." Haldir said,  "but I do know a king when I see one."
Aragorn smiled, a bitter little smile. Half amused, half angry. A little bit 
flattered. Surely the elf just tried to be kind. Comforting.

*******

Aragorn admired Haldir. How could he not?! His grace, his beauty.   All 
displayed in the strong body that moved in front of him. A grey clad shadow, 
a wisp of silvery hair.

He would watch as the muscles in his thighs moved under the fabric, the hair 
danced across the small of his back. As the strong arms handled the bow.
Keen sight never missing the target.

And he would catch Haldir looking at *him* in much in the same way. Whenever 
he handled the knives or an axe, Haldir would come closer. Standing beside 
him and watch him as he worked.

Still, what was to come was beyond Aragorn's imagination.

It all changed the night they decided to bathe together. They had done it 
before. Chilly, quick swims in the river. Both of them freezing, eager to 
get it over with, not paying much attention to the other.

This was different. The weather was warm. So was the water.

They'd found a deep pool of water. Not big enough to take a swim in. But 
definitely big enough for two to bathe.
Aragorn undressed quickly. Eager to feel the warmth of the  water embrace 
him.
Haldir took his time. Slowly removing his garments on the shore when Aragorn 
was already in the water.
Aragorn turned to call at him and was momentarily stunned by the sight.


Part III


Haldir stood tall and proud on the shore. His elven skin reflecting the sun, 
making him shine like gold. Even his silvery hair had turned the color of 
the sun as he slowly turned to catch Aragorn's gaze.

Haldir was beautiful, Aragorn decided. No mere elf, more like a god of
sorts.

With a wicked smile the elf slowly turned around on the shore. Feet spread, 
hands out  his sides. Revealing to Aragorn's hungry eyes all there was to 
see.

Then he slowly, entered the water.

Aragorn saw him approach; filled with something close to dread he realized 
that his body had responded to the beauty in front of him.

He took several steps back, closer to the other shore, then stopped. Frozen 
in place when he realized that soon the water wouldn't be deep enough to 
cover him. Him and his embarrassing state.
The worst thing was that Haldir did not stop. He came straight towards him 
in the water.

"I have seen you looking at me." he said with a teasing little smile. "Why is 
that, Estel?"

Aragorn swallowed hard. But he could not answer. What was there to say?
Haldir moved in even closer.

"I would very much like to have you as my own, Estel." he whispered. His 
eyes partly closed. Only a trickle of blue visible under his lashes.

Aragorn turned pale, then red as the words and their implications registered 
in his mind.

"No!" he cried out. Panicked by the words, by his embarrassing
state. Everything, all together made him want to leap on to the shore and 
run. But he was effectively trapped by his own arousal.

"But you like me, don't you?" Haldir murmured and reached out for him.
Instinctively Aragorn pushed his hand away.

"No, Haldir!" he said, almost overwhelmed with shame and sorrow. "I'm
not...I do not...Take men to my bed."

"But I'm not a man," Haldir replied quickly. "I'm an elf."
Reaching out for him again he moved closer .

"Don't!" Aragorn shouted, making it a command. "Don't come...!"

Haldir stood as if a statue carved in rock. Still and motionless as only an 
elf could.

"I'm not...You are my *friend*. I would never..." Aragorn stumbled in his 
words.

" But you've been looking at me!" Haldir said, his eyes were wide open now. 
Deep, blue orbs met his own.

" I'm...There's not much beauty to see in these woods", Aragorn tried to 
explain.

"So you *do* think me beautiful, then?" Haldir was smiling again, his hand 
still raised. Ready to reach for him.

" Yes!" Aragorn said. "Yes, but it does not change the fact that I will not 
have a male in my bed. I do not, do...that" His voice trailed off as he 
spoke.

" Then why don't you step out of the water, Estel? If I have so little
effect on you. Why don't you just...go?" He lowered his arm and gestured as 
he did. Letting the man know the passage was free. He would not stop him 
from leaving.

Aragorn stood still, unable to move. So very conscious of the elf in
front of him. Cursing his own body. Cursing for not being able to stop 
himself from reacting to Haldir's words and actions.

Haldir smiled again. Not so confident this time. Almost sad. Then he turned 
his back to Aragorn and said;

" I know what you are hiding , Estel. But I will not force you. ..Let all 
this be forgotten. I was wrong."

Shameful and sad Aragorn watched Haldir turn and walk back to the shore.

He did not want to hurt him. And neither did he want to dwell upon his own 
reactions. But he knew he had to do both. To move from the water and cross 
to  the shore was the hardest thing he had ever done.

********

Haldir didn't come back to camp that night. Aragorn spent hours accusing
himself, wondering from where things had gone so terribly wrong...
Could he have done something different?
Not even in the darkest corners of his mind could he have imagined what
kind of desires the elf nurtured. Nor how he could have gotten him, Aragorn, 
so
wrong.

And then there was his own reaction. His body had turned against him,
causing the worst embarrassment of his life.

And Haldir, the good friend Haldir, was he lost now that he knew he and
Aragorn didn't want the same things from each other?

Exhausted Aragorn let down his guard and fell into an uneasy sleep. He would 
have been easy prey for any creature looking for a meal that night, but the 
one who found him was Haldir.

He was there when Aragorn woke up, sitting with his legs crossed and his 
back toward him. Aragorn had to look twice to notice the change in Haldir's 
appearance:
His hair, usually a soft, spun cloak around his shoulders with only two
or three braids in it was braided into one single row. A thick, shiny rope 
that coiled down his back.

"Why...Have you done that? Your hair...?" Caught by surprise Aragorn spoke 
even before  rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
Haldir answered over his shoulder:

"So you wont mistake me for a woman, " he said. "Only the Gods know how you 
would react to *that*..."
Startled Aragorn looked up. Shocked by the childishness in the words of the 
old and wise creature.
Finally Aragorn caught his eye, and saw the humor burning inside of them.

"I am sorry Haldir!" The words broke out of him before he had a chance to 
stop them. "I didn't know...I...I am sorry if you misunderstood my
intentions." He trailed off, knowing that no words would be exactly right in 
this moment.

" You have never been with a man, have you?" Haldir spoke in a soft,
comforting voice.

"No," Aragorn admitted. " I have never felt any need for it."
Haldir, looking as confident as ever gave him a smug grin.

" I thought you *had*" he said. "See, when I was last in Rivendell you were 
just a child, but slowly growing in to manhood."
Haldir came to sit beside him. It should have been comforting, but
Aragorn felt himself tense.
" You spent a lot of time with Elladan and Elohir, full grown elves...Many 
times your age," Haldir continued.
Aragorn tried to protest;

"But..."

"I know that now!" Haldir interrupted. "But back then, Elrond was worried, 
that they might....take an interest in you...I thought I saw, or maybe I 
wished to see, that they did. That you were already bedded ...I see now that 
I was wrong. Forgive me!"

Aragorn was too shocked to answer properly.

"Elrond was...Worried?"

Haldir laughed;

"Oh, yes he was...Not all are as innocent as you, Estel. And living there 
with the twins, Glorfindel...And Elrond..."

"Don't!" Aragorn raised one of his hands. "...tell me things I rather would 
not know..." he continued, feeling somewhat lighter at heart.

"As you wish," Haldir smiled. " But forgive me for being so wrong."

Aragorn fell silent for a while. Then he spoke;

"What happens next, Haldir? With us...here?" he motioned around him to the 
woods surrounding them.

Haldir smiled down at him;

"I came here to hunt the creature Gollum," he said. "And that's what I
intend to do. Unless you want me to leave."

"No!" Aragorn said without doubt. " I want you to stay."

"Good," Haldir answered. " Then I suggest that you get up so we can begin 
our day."

With one swift motion the elf was on his feet. Aragorn followed
closely behind. He felt utterly relieved, yet, somehow, disappointed.

As they left the clearing , the elf first with his quick, light steps, then 
the man in long, yet graceful strides, Haldir suddenly stopped. He took his 
cloak from his arm and while draping it over his shoulders he turned to 
Aragorn with a purely seductive smile.

"Now, that you know you can have me..." he said. Eyes and voice somewhere 
between teasing and serious. "How does that make you feel?"

With those words he turned his back to the man and started walking again. 
With hammering heart Aragorn followed. Wishing, with all of his might that 
those words had never been spoken.

*************

It made him feel awkward.
Awkward and slightly ill.

His thoughts dwelt upon those words a little too often for him to be
comfortable. As he watched the slender elf in front of him, the rolling
hips, the muscular upper body, his thoughts traveled where they should not; 
back to the scene by the river. The naked Haldir under the sun.

What would it have been like, he thought, to have that strong, marble body 
holding him? Those long, slender legs wrapped around his own.

Thoughts that were forbidden, but still came back, no matter how many times 
Aragorn tried to refuse to acknowledge them.

And those lips? Those red-red lips...Thinking that it was a very *real*
possibility, something he could have if he wanted, was both intoxicating, on 
the brink of tempting and sickening at the same time.

Thoughts he learned to fear.

"I've been in the wilderness for too long," he thought. "It will pass as 
soon as I am home, with Arwen..."

Arwen...only thinking of her made guilt spring forth in his heart.
Haldir, on the other hand, acted as if nothing had happened. Calm and
peaceful he strode through the wood, speaking as if nothing had passed 
between them.

*********

After the first day Aragorn asked him to unbraid his hair. He missed the 
sight of the flaxen hair flowing in the wind, the way it reflected light, 
the sun and the moon, the glowing embers by the camp fire.

Haldir did as he asked. To Aragorn that was both comforting and unnerving. 
Comfortable in the sense that things were back to normal. That one braid had 
reminded him too much of what had happened. Unnerving because it proved he 
had a kind of power over Haldir. He did it on Aragorn's request. Changed his 
look to please him.

Aragorn started to regret that he had urged Haldir to stay after the
incident. Though he knew very well that the blame and the guilt was solely 
his own.
So were his new, uncomfortable thoughts.

*****************

Three days passed. Things *did* get better as they continued in the same 
rhythm as before, smoothening things over with normality and comforting 
routines. Still Aragorn caught himself watching the elf more and more often.
Watching him, his body, his facial expressions.

At last he had to admit that his friendship with the elf had transformed 
into a growing fascination. Unwilling to admit that it had something to do 
with the scene by the river he tried to explain it with the elf himself. 
That there really *was* something extraordinary about the way he looked, the 
way he moved. That it was something about him that was clear for all to see, 
not just him, Aragorn.

***************

Sleeping with a man. The thought had never occurred to him. It had ever been 
anything to consider. Maybe the elf was right, he thought...maybe he wasn't 
a man, but an elf. And maybe that was something different!

No!

He would *not* go there.

Still something undefined made him want go back to it, over and over again. 
Maybe it was the utterly erotic creature that was Haldir, maybe it was...No!

He would *not*!

This was a battle he was not willing to engage in. There was no reason to. 
He did *not* want Haldir. Never had!

Haldir began to annoy him. Whenever they sat together by the fire, in what 
used to be Aragorn's favorite part of the day, he could feel anger rise and 
flush his face with even the slightest sigh uttered by the other.

They hardly spoke to each other anymore. Aragorn knew it was his fault, but 
was unable to do anything about it. Maybe they should part, he thought, but 
unable, unwilling to make the suggestion more than a thought.

Surely Haldir must feel it as well, he reasoned. That we're falling out with 
each other. But Haldir seemed as calm and comfortable as ever. Cool and 
untouchable.
Aragorn gritted his teeth. Unable to sleep at night, he watched Haldir's 
profile as he stood guard. Spent his own guard watching the same profile 
relax in that slumber the Elves called rest.

Sometimes he thought he saw the elf looking back at him. An amused smile 
curling his lips.

Aragorn fell into a gloomy state of mind.
A confusion that would not let go. Thoughts that gave him no rest. And no 
answers.

The attraction Haldir had spoken of seemed gone. Never did the elf show any 
sign of it. He kept his promise, Aragorn realized.
The elf did behave himself. Aragorn did not. *Could* not!

"Were you jealous?" he asked one night. Voicing the thoughts that had rushed 
through his mind all day. He knew it was stupid, but was not able to help 
himself.

" Jealous? Of whom?" The elf asked surprised.

"Elladan and Elrohir..." Aragorn answered. "Back then when you thought they 
were bedding me?" It was too late to stop now. He had no choice but to ask.

Haldir paused for a while, then he smiled:

"Yes I was," he said,  " I was very jealous. You were beautiful...You still 
are!"

"And Arwen?" Aragorn asked with a voice hardly audible. "Are you jealous of 
her as well?"

Haldir laughed;

"Do I envy her the death of a mortal? No, Estel! I don't." He sighed before 
continuing. "I have had many lovers...Most of them I've outlived. I have 
been through far too much to end it that way."

Aragorn felt slightly disappointed by those last words.

********

The next evening brought a change. They could feel it in the air itself as 
it was stirring in a new way. The trees and the animals seemed disturbed. It 
was as if the woods had been invaded by something strange and unfamiliar.

"Men!" Haldir said. "I can hear them...They are four, maybe five. There are 
women among them."

"Let's go to visit then," Aragorn said. "Maybe they'll bring us some news."
Inwardly he sighed with relief. Finally someone who maybe could break the 
spell Haldir had cast on him. Get him out of his wrecked state of mind.

They were a family of five. A middle-aged man and his young wife, two
daughters who couldn't be hers as they were in their early teens, and a son 
closer to twenty. The wife was pregnant. They brought a carriage and two 
ponies with them.
They didn't look poor but not wealthy either, they were clad in the same 
blue material with white trims. The fabric was worn but not filthy.
Farmers, Aragorn decided, living close to a city. Or merchants..

They bowed low as the ranger stepped out of the shadows. Aragorn was
surprised at first, then he realized that he wasn't the one receiving the 
courtesy at all. It was the glowing, beautiful creature behind him.

"Welcome, Master Elf!" The man greeted him. "Welcome! What a pleasant
surprise! I'd never thought we'd be lucky enough to see one of your fair 
people on our journey...Come! Come! Please! Have a seat by the fire..."
His eyes fell on Aragorn, a twitch and a blink and his features
were smooth again;

"You too Ranger...Come and have a seat...Traveling
together, are you?" The question was for Haldir, of course.

"Yes, we are," Haldir moved as a graceful deer among the humans. His voice 
so rich and clear after the hard rasps from the man." I am Haldir of Lorien, 
this is my friend Estel."

"Lorien!" the young boy cried. "Does it really exist?!"
Haldir laughed at him. One of the girls came running, put down a soft
looking blanket for Haldir to sit on, her braids dancing with every
move.
Bright, young eyes, shining towards Aragorn's elf.

The wife and the girls turned to busily pulling nice smelling packages out 
of the carriage. Aragorn's stomach screamed by the mere thought of a decent 
meal. He was more than happy to let Haldir do the speaking, he told himself, 
as long as there would be food.

He sat down as far from the others as he could without being completely
rude, stretched his arms towards the fire, watching as the women prepared 
some good smelling meat over the fire. Still, he did not have eyes for the 
food alone.

Crowded with questions and admiring stares Haldir looked quite comfortable 
in his elven serenity.

"Have you never seen any of my people before?" He asked the young boy, who 
blushed every time  Haldir's eyes met his.

"No," the boy admitted, shyly looking down.

"He was sweet," Aragorn thought and cursed himself inside. Aware of a 
sinking feeling in his stomach as he registered the boy's unruly, red curls 
and big, shiny eyes.

" You're staring at my ears," Haldir continued. "Would you like to touch 
them?"
The boy looked happy but uncertain. He looked at elf with a shy look that 
begged for reassurance.

" Just...do it, " Haldir murmured and the boy's hand rose to caress the
pointed tip of the elven ear.

To Aragorn the whole thing looked purely obscene. Disgusted he tried to
remove his gaze, only to meet Haldir's deep, blue eyes across the fire.

The shameless elf was staring at him! Staring him right in the eye, as the 
poor boy beside him were gently touching his sensitive ears.

"I'm not accepting this challenge," Aragorn told himself. "Why can't he
understand that?" His eyes flew back to the caressing fingers.

He hardly noticed that someone put a plate in his hands, and that it was 
hot. He ate without tasting as Haldir's voice laughed at the boy. His 
parents roaming around him, anything to please the elf!

They were merchants, and they were lost, of course. No one in their right 
mind would enter these woods voluntarily these days. The ranger gave the man 
directions back as his eyes never trailed of the scene in front of him.

He should be looking at the young, pretty girls, he knew that. That would be 
a normal reaction after being away from the world for so long.  But he 
couldn't!
His eyes went straight back to the charming elf. Now with one arm draped 
lightly around the young boy's shoulders.


Part IV

" I could have had that boy. What do you think? Should I go back and take 
him?"

Haldir glanced back at Aragorn. They had just left the small camp and
approached a clearing in the woods. It was past midday and the air was still 
warm.

"Why?" Aragorn answered. "He's just a child. Why would you ruin his
innocence?"

" Ah...Men and their values..." Haldir's eyes were teasing. "Are you
offering to take his place? "

" I didn't think I was the one in question here," Aragorn said, his cheeks 
were burning .

Suddenly Haldir spun around all his calmness peeled off in one, swift
movement.

"But you are," he said passionately, "you are the one in question...It's all 
about *you* Estel." He reached up and whispered in to Aragorn's ear. So 
close that his breath tickled Aragorn's skin. His voice soft and low:
" I would love to feel your hands against my skin, trace your scars with my 
tongue. I would feel your body shiver and your knees buckle as I give you 
pleasures never experienced before. I would...kiss you, Estel, in your most 
secret places.Feel you, touch you, suck you..." His breath shivered a 
little.

Aragorn found it impossible to move. He just stood there, letting the
elf's sweet words tumble in his mind as the hot breath on his skin sent
shivers through his body. Making it react against his will. His body so weak 
to the seduction. His will trembling. The creature in front of him; so 
beautiful, so cruel, so full of wicked games. Soft elven skin, sparkling 
eyes.
Those eyes; evil twins, filled to the brim with promises.

He could feel his blood pumping, a red fog shadowed his sight and his pulse 
was pounding loud in his ears. His senses were heightened, making his body 
aware and sensitive, utterly, perfectly, alive.

Through his confused mind he registered  Haldir moving in closer, his
pink tongue darted out to wet his lower lip.  Aragorn's hips jerked
forward. An involuntarily movement, impossible to hold back.
It brought a wide grin to Haldir's face, red blossoms of shame to his own.

He closed his eyes. Let the humiliation sink in.

"Now what," he thought "Now what?"

Haldir's lips on his own. A tongue sliding along them, trying to find an 
entrance to his mouth. He opened it, having no choice in the matter, it was 
a reaction not led by his will. He separated his lips and let the elf's 
tongue find it's way in to play with his.

The kiss was deep, it shot directly through his body and spread to his
groin. Hot flames and cinnamon. This was passion. Pure and whole.
The elf wrapped his strong arms around his neck, forcing him to make the 
kiss even deeper. His own hands laced at the small of Haldir's back, 
pressing him close.

He still hadn't opened his eyes. Didn't want to...

Haldir moaned into his mouth and rubbed lightly against him. Made his
erection obvious to the man. Made him understand that he was not the only 
one caught by the moment, the fire and the heat.

Aragorn kissed him eagerly. Didn't want to think. Didn't want to stop. He 
drank of Haldir's mouth. Possessed the wet cave with his smooth tongue. Felt 
the firm pressure of his full, sensuous lips, the hands on his neck. And the 
strong, slender body in front of him. Haldir's long, silken hair fell over 
his hands. He grabbed a handful of it, without letting go, felt the texture 
between his fingers.
The smell of the wood, hot spices. The smell of arousal. Of promises. Of 
pleasure.

Finally, with an act of will, a moment's sanity, he broke away.

"Oh, Gods!" he cried out with passion. Rubbed his lips with the back of his 
hand while taking several steps back, away from the creature in front of 
him.

Haldir stood still for a moment. Like a child afraid to break the spell.

"Don't go!" Haldir said at last. Letting out his breath. His eyes burning 
dark on the white surface.
"Don't leave me, Estel!" He reached out a hand to the terrified man. His 
voice had a hint of something desperate. Almost fragile.
"Don't leave me like this," he whispered , “not like this again,. I *need* 
you!"
His voice was intense but hardly audible,
"Let it go Estel, I beg you...For you are not doing well with this. And as 
much as *I* want you...." Haldir lowered his lids;
"I believe that you want *me* even more...come to me, Estel!"

Aragorn shook his head slowly. He could not! Would not! And still. The
temptation caught him, forced him to stand still. He could not run, as he 
should.
Spellbound he remained on the spot, could not take his eyes of the strong 
warrior. His burning eyes. The wet lips.

The attack was sudden and unexpected. Haldir crashed into him so hard that 
he fell on the ground with the elf on top before he had time to react.

Strong fingers struggled with the lacings and clasps on his tunic, demanding 
lips forced kisses from his mouth.

He could hear himself moan. The touch of Haldir's hands on his chest as they 
found their way in under his clothing. Caressing his right nipple between 
strong fingers. The tongue that slid down his throat. Teeth that teasingly 
touched his flesh. Soft lips, heavy breath. The firm erection that pressed 
against his own through the fabric.

" No " he said, but heard how weak it sounded as another moan escaped his 
lips.

" Estel, my lover!" Haldir whispered into his ear." My love!"
His hand reached down and caressed Aragorn through the clothes with strong 
fingers. "Do you want me?" he said. His tongue were swirling over Aragorn's 
now partly exposed chest.
"Do you want me?" he repeated. Voice unusually hoarse with passion.

Aragorn's hips buckled against the touch, his hands rested on the elf's
shoulders. And yes, he wanted this. The physical sensation destroyed his 
last defenses and he gave himself over. Completely.

"Yes!" he shouted. "Yes! I want you!" He caught Haldir's face in his hands 
and forced the eager elf into a deep, rough kiss. His beard rasped against 
Haldir's smooth skin, his hands laced in his hair.  His tongue plundered the 
other's. Crushing his mouth over his.
Finally he pushed Haldir's head a few inches away, enough to catch his eyes.
"Have me, then," he said with heaving breath. It was meant to be demanding, 
but came out as just a whisper.

Haldir smiled, but not triumphant as Aragorn had expected. His unfocused 
eyes made the smile utterly sensuous. Lustful, it went straight to Aragorn's 
groin.

"I will," Haldir murmured over him. And made the tension in Aragorn's body 
even worse.

He flung Haldir over on his side and followed quickly so that he
was on top of the elf. Then he repeated Haldir's actions by trying to force 
the clothes from his body.

Spread like a golden angel on the ground, Haldir reached out and caught
Aragorn. Pulled him close to feel their bare chests against each other.
Aragorn kissed his neck, licked a trace down to his hard nipples. Caught one 
of them in his mouth, lightly squeezing in between his teeth, forcing a 
whimper from Haldir. His body jerked under the Ranger and Aragorn could feel 
the flexing muscles in his upper body.

He went lower and slid one finger on each side inside Haldir's leggings, the 
elf raised his hips from the ground so Aragorn could pull the garment down 
to his ankles.

He attacked the soft flesh on Haldir's belly with his mouth, and hesitated 
but a second before he wrapped his hand around the throbbing shaft between 
the elf's thighs. Touching it as he would touch his own. Forcing loud moans 
of pleasure from the elf beneath him. Salty tears of desire from the proud 
member in his hand.

"Estel!" Haldir moaned."Estel!"

Aragorn looked up;

"Isn't this what you wanted?" he asked. "Isn't this what you've been craving 
for?"

Haldir looked back at him with blurred eyes;

"Yes,"he said and wet his lips. "This is what I wanted!...And this!"

With his catlike grace he moved under Aragorn and threw him over. Reversed 
their positions once more. Kicking his boots and the leggings off as he 
straddled Aragorn. A naked god of pure lust with a trembling mortal between 
his thighs.

" And you want this," he continued. Reached back and forced his hand in
under Aragorn's remaining clothes. Catching, caressing his spear with an 
expertise that went behind Aragorn's comprehension. He played him like a 
complicated elven instrument. Forcing small sighs and moans out of the man's 
mouth as his fingers touched him in unfamiliar, strangely pleasurable ways.
Teasing and taunting. Caressing and squeezing. All the time with an amused 
smile on his lips and his eyes locked in Aragorn's.

"I like the way you cry!" he said teasingly. "Do you want some more?"

Aragorn just closed his eyes, unable to speak or meet his eyes. Haldir threw 
his head back. His soft hair landing on Aragorn's thighs, creating a new 
sensation.

Haldir closed his eyes as well, enjoying the moment, and the pleasure. One 
hand on the man’s shoulder while the other one were still playing behind his 
back.
Aragorn's body buckled against him constantly. Forced Haldir to ride him 
off, like a beast. The rough hair against his own smooth body made him gasp 
for breath. Even better than expected, he thought, *so* much better.

He noticed that the man was about to burst and quickly removed his hand, 
afraid that once the need had ceased, Aragorn would be regretful and pull 
away. Haldir didn't want that. He *needed* Aragorn. He *wanted* him. He 
moved back and removed the rest of Aragorn's clothing. The man himself 
helped him by moving, so that finally they were both naked in each other's 
arms.

"At last", Haldir thought. Relieved that the hunt was over.

He positioned himself between Aragorn's thighs and started wetting his
member with saliva. A sudden spark flashed in the ranger's eyes and caught 
his attention.

"No!" Aragorn said. "No, you wont have me like that!" His voice was a hoarse 
rasp. But his eyes were serious.

Haldir hid a surprised expression.

"Very well, then" he said. "Why don't you have *me*?" He rolled over onto 
his back, lifted his hips and reached out a couple of welcoming arms to the 
man.

Aragorn accepted the invitation.

With his body tense with need, he moved over the elf , wetting himself with 
spit as he had seen Haldir do, and guided by his hands he positioned his 
erection over Haldir's tight entrance.

" Do it!" Haldir said with a low, strangled voice. "Fill me with your lust!"

With those words Aragorn lost his sight again and felt rather than saw
his hardness disappear into the slender elven body.

Haldir cried out, half-way between lust and pain.

"Have me, Estel! Have me!" he cried. And Aragorn sheathed himself inside.
Rocking his hips, moving slowly at first. Then harder, faster, as the
muscles around him relaxed and let go.
So hot. So tight.
He leaned on his arms. Hair plastered to his forehead and Haldir's gasps and
moans beneath him.

"Come, come" Aragorn murmured, but didn't know to whom or why.

His rocking movements became a rhythm. Each thrust brought his belly in
contact with Haldir's erection that would jump at each caress. Aragorn found 
it unbelievably arousing.
He wouldn't last long he knew it. And when Haldir pulled him in to a kiss he 
lost his hold and with a last hard thrust he spilled himself in the elf's 
beautiful body. So much warmer than he thought it to be...So much softer...

He fell on top of he other male, the elf  still caught in his arms.
He lay panting, waiting for his pulse to slow down. The dark thoughts coming 
back. Sanity  returning. Then; a soft murmur in his ear:

"That was nice Estel, now could you help me find the same peace."

"What?" Aragorn asked surprised, "what am I to do?"

" Kiss me Estel, down there...Take me in your beautiful mouth."

The pledge was so sweet! Without hesitating,  Aragorn arched down to find 
Haldir's rock hard member and covered it with his mouth.
He took him in as best as he could. Played it with his tongue. Sucked the 
salty hardness in.

He closed his eyes, and actually enjoyed it, as he felt the skilled elf move 
against him. React to his ministrations.

"Estel! Estel!" Hands grabbing fistfuls of hair.
" Yes...So good..."

And then, without warning his body jerked upwards, filling Aragorn's mouth 
with salty semen which he swallowed without thinking. Sucking it all out of 
him.
Every last drop.

"Yes...!" A last sigh from Haldir."So nice!"

They spent several minutes in each other's arms. Just enjoying the feeling. 
Of being spent, of being alive. With each other.
Haldir played with Aragorn's hair. His own flowed like a silken piece of 
garment over Aragorn's chest. His chin rested on Aragorn's upper arm.

"Arwen..." Aragorn said at last. "You wont, tell her, will you....?"

Haldir rose his upper body, leaning on his arms he looked down at the man.

"No..." he said..."I wont tell her...but she will know. She's an elf."
Aragorn looked up into the Elf's twinkling eyes. He was smiling.

He was actually smiling!

"And you find that amusing..." Anger was back in Aragorn's voice.

"I thought you knew...You were after all raised among us..." Haldir replied 
innocently.

Aragorn tried to clear his thoughts;

"And why, exactly, will she know?"

"Because she's an elf." Haldir repeated. "She will know."

He rose from his half-lying position and grabbed his clothes off the ground. 
He slid his tunic over his head without removing his gaze from the partly 
stunned, partly angered man.

"And you are sure about this?" Aragorn asked. Voice strangled, fear shone 
through it now.

"Yes," Haldir said, still smiling. "I am sure...I'm an elf."

"So you are!" Aragorn muttered and sat up. He caught a leaf from his hair 
and tossed it aside.
"And you never considered....telling me this ...before...?" He made a
gesture to the ground where they had been lying.

"I thought you knew," Haldir repeated. Still calm, still smiling, pulling a 
soft boot over his ankle. "You are not going to blame this solely on me, are 
you, Estel?"

Aragorn rose with a deep frown on his forehead.

" I can't remember me seducing you into this madness? Can you?"

Haldir laughed out loud. A clear, thrilling sound.

"No!" He admitted. "But I still thought that you knew!"

Aragorn fell still. A numb, aching pain gathered in his lower belly. Regret, 
but above all, fear. The consequences could become severe, he knew that.
Still he asked;

"And how will she, as an elf, react to it?"

Finally the grin disappeared from Haldir's face;

"I don't know!" He said. "You know her better than I do, now...What do you 
think?"

"Not good!" Aragorn said. "Her reaction wont be good."

"I am sorry, my friend..."Haldir said and tried to put a comforting arm
around Aragorn's shoulder, only to be shrugged off. He accepted this without 
a word and left the clearing and the brooding man to be alone with his 
thoughts.

Aragorn noticed that he didn't look back as he disappeared among the trees.

*******

When Haldir found Aragorn again it had become night. The sky was a deep blue 
and the leaves of the forest shone in silver under the rising moon.

He sat by the river, consumed by his own thoughts when he noticed the elf. 
Dressed in his grey elven cloak he was almost invisible in the night. Still, 
no sign of surprise showed on the Ranger's face.

"I am sorry." The elf spoke and kneeled by the man. Taking his head in his 
hands he leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to
his forehead. " Let me comfort you," he offered, slowly caressing the mans 
temples with his thumbs. "Let me soothe you, and make this easier to bear."
He leaned in to a kiss again. This time stolen from the lips.

Aragorn, consumed by thoughts of loss and regret did not fight him.
The damage was already done, he did not wish to think of it. Did not wish to 
face all the possible consequences, the scenarios he conjured up in his 
mind. The elf would comfort him, he knew that. Keep all his tormenting 
thoughts away.

******

As the hunt continued things were almost as before, even before the scene by 
the river.
Aragorn smiled again. Even laughed. It was as if all the bad
things had never happened, with a few exceptions. Like the one where Aragorn 
fell asleep under a grey elven cloak, firmly held against a white, slender 
body. And that he woke up in the same position, showered with passionate 
kisses. His fingers tangled in long, silvery hair.

"My Estel," Haldir would murmur against his throat. "My beautiful one."

As autumn drew near and the leaves turned to gold it became apparent that 
they would have to leave Mirkwood soon. Day by day, without any of them 
saying so, they drew closer to the border of the woods. Their time together 
was ending.

"I will have to go back to Rivendell." Aragorn stated. "To see Arwen..."

"Do you still want her?" Haldir asked softly. No anger or jealousy apparent 
in his voice.

"...Yes..." Aragorn answered calmly. "Just like I've always wanted..." he 
broke off. A blank stare in to the night as his thoughts drifted.

"Good luck then, my friend." Haldir put a hand to rest on his shoulder. "The 
borders of Lorien needs my protection.These are perilous times, and I have 
been away much too long."

"Why?" Aragorn asked him. "Why have you been away for so long?"

"Don't you know that, Estel?" Haldir whispered. " I was caught by another 
kind of star."

*********

They traveled together for another twenty days before they took different 
paths.

With a last lingering kiss they said their goodbyes.

"May your gods lead your path to me once more," Haldir said, with his hand 
still on Aragorn's. "And if not," he continued; "I wish you a good
life...And may you fulfill your destiny with glory."

"And you, Haldir of Lorien," Aragorn replied. "May you find someone, who 
will make you shine as bright as you do now, for eternity."

A last touch of slender fingers. A squeeze and he was gone, swallowed by the 
woods  he had come from.

******

"Haldir!" Arwen said.
Her back turned to him. Her long, dark braid fell over her blue clothing, 
screaming to him about her innocence, their promises. Then she went from 
proud to beaten in the blink of an eye.

Silvery tears down her cheeks.

Aragorn didn't say a word. Hadn't said a word since he entered her chambers.

Still dirty from his time in the wilderness.  Still, with the scent of the 
elf on his skin.
Now it felt obscene. To enter her father’s house, her presence with this 
guilt on his mind. Still so fresh, living and vivid. Not  just a memory. 
Very much reality. A presence.

"He said you would be easy to sway..." she said,
Her words, and the implications hitting him like a burning fist.

"He said...?" Aragorn rasped from his throat.

"Haldir," she said..."Is a master of the art...of  …..the seduction." The 
last word came out as a whisper. Her eyes grew distant, as if struggling 
with old memories.  Her old ones, to his new ones.

"He would prove to me that it was wrong... to love you...to wed you..."

She sank down on a chair, just looking at him. He swallowed hard. Unable to 
do anything but to stand there. Hands clenched into fists by his sides.
Arwen would not lie. He knew Arwen.

" So it was all..." he said, unable to keep the disappointment from his
voice.

"Yes!" she said. "He set out to find you, to have you. I should have
known." Her voice grew suddenly closer to more bitterness than Aragorn had 
thought her capable of. His sweet Arwen...Guilt raced through him again, for 
having caused her this grief.

"It's all my fault!" She screamed with a passion unlike anything Aragorn had 
heard before."I should have warned you! I should have gone after him! I 
should have known!"
Her chest was heaving. Her eyes were closed tight. Her
fingers closed into fists as well. "I am so sorry, Aragorn." She said at 
last. Her voice trembling with emotion. "I should have known!" She
swallowed hard before continuing "...Tell me..did he have you for but one 
night or did it...last?"

Aragorn didn't know how to answer.

"Does it matter?" He asked.

Arwen smiled bitterly.

"So it did then...Yes, I should have known that Haldir would find my Estel 
worthy of more."

Silence fell between them. At last Aragorn cleared his throat;

"So did he?" He asked.

"Did he what?"

"Prove you wrong?"

"...To love you?..."

"Yes."

"No!" She said. "He proved himself wrong!"

But her heart was heavy with grief.

******

Two nights later she dreamt of him. He sat by the borders of Nimrodel,
playing with the clear water, catching it in his hand, letting it go again.

He looked up and caught her eyes.

"I told you so, my Evenstar." He taunted. "You may have him, you may wed 
him, even die for him if you like. But he will not be only yours 
again...Ever! I will be there, between you in the bed you share as mortals."

He rose and came closer. So close she could almost feel his breath.

"So easily swayed are the hearts of men.Not even Arwen Undomiel can change 
that." He smiled and continued; "He fell for me in those woods, Arwen. He 
fell for me, and now you can never be sure. Think about it...whenever 
there's a male elf of my resemblance about, you can not be sure if he'll 
think of me or not. It wont go away Arwen...*I* wont!"

And with those words he faded. The Mallyrn trees of Lorien disappeared back 
into the mist.

*******

Those same words came back to haunt her later, when she saw her beloved set 
from Rivendell in a mixed company of halflings and dwarfs, wizards and men. 
And with a young, slender elf by his side.

She knew she should think about the quest. The peril and the Ring. But all 
she could think of was the blond  Prince of Mirkwood wandering by her loved 
one's side.

And she knew she had fallen in to the trap.
That Haldir was right...
He would always be there with them.
He *would* not go away.

*******




Epilogue:


It was unavoidable. They would have to pass through Lorien. And
grief-stricken as his heart was, he still grew nervous as they approached 
the woods.

The responsibility for the company, Frodo and the Ring lay heavy upon him.
And still, he could not help but wonder; would he be there?

Anger.

Boiling, hot, solid anger, was what he felt when he thought about him: The 
cunning elf that had had him at his mercy once.
Who made him feel things he shouldn't. Forced emotions from him. Stole them 
together with his kisses.

The betrayal...

It hurt. Still.

So much shame, humiliation.

Still Aragorn knew that the company desperately needed the protection of 
Lothlorien if they were to survive. He would have to swallow his anger. 
Remain in control.

To meet him so suddenly was still a shock.
His features unchanged. His ethereal beauty hitting him in the chest. Made 
him blush against his will.

"The dwarf breathes so loud," he said, "we could have shot him in the dark!"

Not a single emotion on his face. No expression at all.
His coldness froze Aragorn to ice. With gritted teeth, determined not to 
show his feelings faced with this arrogant creature he lowered his head. 
Asked for protection.

"For the company's sake..."he thought. "For the company..." He let the
thought become his torch and his anchor.

***************

On their way through the woods he was watching him. He tried not to let the 
feline grace impress him. Tried not to remember the reasons why he had loved 
him. Only why he hated him.

His anger was healthy around Haldir. Haldir, who didn't look at him once, 
didn't recognize him as the friend he had claimed him to be, once, since 
they entered the Golden Woods.

Suddenly a gaze in the wrong direction distracted him. He thought he saw 
Haldir's eyes fall on Legolas.

The lithe elf seemed unconscious of the attention he got, as Haldir's
predatory eyes seemed to roam over his backside.

Another burst of anger rose in Aragorn. He would not sit back and watch as 
this creature bent another's will with his ruby red lips and glittering 
eyes!

Aragorn ignored  the fact that Legolas was many times his age, and very well 
capable of looking after himself.  And that Aragorn was also having problems 
of his own with trusting Legolas, mainly because he was male, and an elf.  
He decided that Legolas was under his protection, and that nothing of the 
sort would happen as long as they were in Lorien and Aragorn could have a 
say in the matter.

He decided to watch.
To snatch the prize away from the Guardian. Deny him the pleasure, if he 
could.

******************

That night, after having received the hospitality of the Lord and the Lady 
of the Woods, Aragorn spotted a lean figure, leaning against a trunk. Close 
enough to their camp to watch every movement, hear every word.  Aragorn knew 
who it was. He would have known even if the hadn't been so familiar with the 
sight.

Furious he rose up and closed the distance with a couple of his legendary 
strides; he caught him by the small collar of his tunic and pushed him 
violently up against the trunk.

Haldir did not fight back.

"No! You wont have him!.He is under my protection." Aragorn hissed.

"Who?"

Haldir's amused expression made him even angrier.

"Legolas! Who do you *think* I am talking about? The dwarf?"

Haldir laughed throatily. He straightened himself and removed Aragorn's
hands. Strangely enough Aragorn found it hard to resist once the elf touched 
his wrist with his fingers. He cursed his own weakness but let the elf go.

Suddenly Haldir's lips were on his.

Kissing him tenderly, a tongue slid behind his teeth, forcing his own to 
play along. Captured it before he had time to think.
Stunned Aragorn broke the kiss.

"What was that about?" His voice exploding in the night.

Haldir smiled at him.

"I do not want the prince," he said and moved in closer. He cupped Aragorn's 
face in his hands, as he had done so many times before in the dark forest of 
Mirkwood.

"I have told you before," he said, with a voice, so hot, so dripping with 
passion that Aragorn had to steady himself against the trunk. "It is all 
about you, Estel...All, about you!"


End

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