Title:  Immortal Love, Immortal Peril Parts 1 - 5
Author:  Eirien Rhovan  greenleafs_maiden@hotmail.com
Pairings:  Haldir/Aragorn, Aragorn/Legolas, Legolas/Haldir
Rating:  NC-17
Summary:  Set before The Fellowship.  Estel does not yet 
know his true identity and loses his heart to a certain 
Marchwarden.  Haldir guards his emotions as carefully as he 
guards Lothlorien and Estel leaves only to return two years 
later.  Has his absence made the Elf's heart grow fonder?
Archive:  Library of Moria & Trans Tasman Fic Force, Yes; 
All others please ask first
Disclaimer:  The One Ring made me do it.
Warning:  Some non-con in later chapters
Authors Note:  My first attempt at slash. 
Feedback:  Please.


Many thanks to my Beta, Caz, for doing a great job, and 
also for her support and encouragement!



Estel walked through the forest of Lothlorien, a small 
smile playing about his face.  After two years of wandering 
all over Middle Earth, fighting battles, living rough and 
learning the art of politics from watching the leaders he 
served, word had reached him of the problems faced by the 
Elves in Lothlorien in trying to rid their borders of 
encroaching bands of orcs.  He had come immediately to help 
the Elves in their attempt, feeling a closer bond of 
kinship with Elves than he did with members of his own 
race.  He felt at home here, more so than he did in the 
halls of men.  The peace and magic of Lothlorien had lifted 
his spirits instantly.  Although it was by far a more 
mystical place than Imladris, where he had grown up, with 
it's huge mallorn trees and eternal light, Estel 
nevertheless felt a sense of safety and peace within it's 
borders.

As he walked now, he finally admitted to himself that there 
was another, more personal reason that made him glad to be 
back here.  After exchanging greetings with Lord Celeborn 
and Lady Galadriel he had set off in search of the Elf who 
had haunted his dreams for the past two years.  The 
anticipation that had been building inside of him slowly 
began to give way to frustration, as after over an hour of 
searching proved fruitless.  Surely the Elf had known of 
his arrival; no one entered these woods without him 
knowing, so where was he?  As he walked many Elves called 
out to him in greeting, but he merely waved or spoke just a 
few words then moved on quickly, not seeing their knowing 
smiles.

Estel eventually found himself atop a small hillock near 
the outskirts of the city.  The sun was just beginning its 
descent and the hillock afforded him an excellent view of a 
spectacular sunset over the surrounding forest.  He allowed 
himself a moment to take in the beauty around him, calming 
him, giving him time to gain control of his emotions.  He 
knew he had no right to feel so disappointed.  The Elf had 
made it perfectly clear during Estel's last stay in 
Lothlorien that the man did not hold his heart.  Even so, 
they had parted on reasonable terms, and Estel had looked 
forward to their reunion, and had hoped the Elf had felt 
the same.  More fool I, he thought, for letting my human 
emotions get the better of me.

"Leaving so soon?"

The soft voice came from right beside his ear, causing him 
to start and silently curse himself for being so wrapped up 
in his thoughts that he had not heard the other approach.  
He recognised the voice instantly, and relaxed, but did not 
turn or take his gaze from the horizon.

"No, I simply remembered that this spot was a good vantage 
point for seeing approaching enemies, that is all."

"Ahhh... so you walked all the way here just to make sure 
that the fifty or so Elves on guard in yonder wood had not 
all been slaughtered without our knowledge.  Will you rest 
easy now that you know all is well, or is it your intention 
to walk the entire circumference of 'Lorien before 
retiring?"  came the reply, dripping in sarcasm.

"Haldir, if I did not know the sound of your voice then 
truly your choice of words would leave no doubt as to your 
identity."

He heard the Elf chuckle, amused, and finally turned to 
face him.  For a moment neither spoke, simply drinking in 
the sight of each other.

Haldir was wearing the traditional grey and black of the 
Galadhrim Marchwardens, Guardians of Lothlorien, his cloak 
securely fastened with an Elven brooch.  As Captain of his 
Lord and Lady Haldir would normally wear his sword and 
perhaps a concealed knife or two as his only weapons, 
directing his company of warriors rather than taking part 
in battle.  Estel now noticed that Haldir also carried a 
bow and arrows and had an extra knife tucked into his belt, 
a sure sign of how serious the threat had become.

Estel watched as Haldir slowly raised his right hand, held 
it against his heart and inclined his head in a gesture of 
respect.

"Welcome, Estel."

Estel mirrored the gesture, "Well met, Haldir o 'Lorien."

He was taken off guard a second time when the Elf stepped 
forward quickly and caught him in a strong embrace, 
pressing their bodies together.

"It has been too long since your last visit,"  Haldir 
whispered into his ear, sending shivers down his spine.  He 
returned the embrace, his hands almost involuntarily moving 
up the Elf's back, feeling the strong muscles beneath the 
clothing.  His body tingled where it met Haldir's and Estel 
could not help feeling disappointed when the Guardian 
pulled away.  Their eyes met, icy blue and dark indigo, and 
Estel searched the Elf's face for any sign of emotion, an 
acknowledgment of what they had once shared, but there was 
none.  In fact, he could not tell if Haldir felt anything 
at all on seeing him again so guarded was the expression on 
the Marchwarden's face.  Estel had hoped that his return 
after two years would have been sufficient to break through 
that icy veneer, but he saw it was not and was forced to 
admit that Haldir now saw him as nothing more than a 
friend, a companion.  He just wished his body did not react 
so violently to being in the Elf's presence.

Aware of the silence between them Estel tried to lighten 
the atmosphere.  "I do not believe that all visitors to 
this fair city receive a hug from the Captain of the Guard, 
Haldir.  Could it be that you have missed me?"

"Indeed, little changeling,"  Haldir responded, teasing the 
man with an old nickname.  "I have missed beating you at 
archery, wrestling and swordplay.  I do hope that during 
your travels you have learned some skills to make of you a 
more worthy opponent."  Before the man could respond Haldir 
turned and began heading back toward the city, calling back 
over his shoulder, "You have certainly not learned the 
importance of bathing!"  With that he disappeared into the 
woods.

Estel followed at a slower pace, knowing that Haldir would 
not be caught if he did not wish to be.  Disappointment 
coursed through his veins as he made his way back to his 
talan, remembering what he had once shared with the Elf.  
Four years ago he had come to Lothlorien for the first time 
at the behest of Elrond, his foster father.  Elrond had 
wanted him to learn all he could from the Galadhrim, and to 
meet the Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel.  Haldir had been 
the one to show him how to walk a path among the treetops, 
how to follow a trail even though it appeared to go 
completely cold, and finally how to take comfort and 
pleasure in the embrace of a comrade.

Estel sighed as he made his way up the ladder to his talan, 
remembering how young, how naive, he had been then.  He had 
been hesitant at first, not having been with another male 
before, but Haldir was so striking and persistent that he 
had finally succumbed.  Under the Elf's expert tutelage he 
come to know the pleasure there was to be had in the strong 
arms of another warrior.  It was not long before he had 
lost not only his inhibitions, but also his heart to 
Haldir.

Feeling suddenly weary Estel sat on the edge of his bed, 
his head resting in his hands as his mind wandered through 
the labyrinth of his past, recalling the night when he had 
made his fateful mistake and laid his heart bare to Haldir.  
He remembered how gentle Haldir had been in his refusal, 
explaining that while he took enormous pleasure in sharing 
Estel's bed, he could not share in his emotions.  Haldir 
had purposely avoided him for several weeks afterward, 
until eventually Estel had cornered him and declared that 
he was willing to accept whatever it was Haldir could 
offer, and nothing more.  He could see the doubt in the 
Guardian's eyes, but after short time of being pursued 
Haldir had agreed to resume their affair.

Reaching into his travelling pack Estel withdrew a clean 
pair of breeches and a tunic.  Haldir was right about one 
thing, he thought, he did need a bath.  He made his way 
back down the ladder and headed in the direction of a glade 
nearby where he knew there to be a pool fed by a warm 
spring.  Night had almost descended by now and he met few 
Elves on his way.  The pool was where he remembered and 
after stripping he slipped into the warm water, letting the 
heat relax his weary muscles as he washed the dirt of the 
road away.  Finally he rested against the wall of the pool, 
leaning his head back and looking at the stars.  He stayed 
that way for a while, willing his mind to be silent, but 
eventually he gave in, closing his eyes and allowing 
himself to be transported back to that time.  The warmth of 
the water was beginning to have an effect as in his mind he 
remembered the warmth in the feel of Haldir's body close to 
his, the hard muscles, the silken hair and the passionate 
kisses.  It was enough to begin a stirring in his loins, 
now, as thoughts of that time always did.  But despite 
their passion never once had Haldir, by word or look, 
caused Estel to believe that he had broken through the wall 
around his heart.  Over time just being around Haldir had 
become a bittersweet agony to Estel.  Comrades by day, 
lovers by night, it was not enough for Estel.  Haldir had 
been right to doubt that he could not separate their 
physical pleasure and his emotions.  He knew that Haldir 
cared for him, but did he love him?  No.  That much was 
obvious by the lukewarm reception he had received today.

When Elrond had written and suggested that Estel leave to 
learn the ways of men, as well as Elves, he had readily 
agreed.  Staying would have been pure torture.  Their 
relationship had always been on Haldir's terms, and now 
Haldir had made it clear that there would be no return to 
their passion.  With a jolt Estel realised that it was 
quite possible that Haldir had taken another lover by now.  
And how would he cope with that?  How would he cope with 
knowing Haldir took his ease with another?

Estel's eyes flew open as he felt a prickling at the back 
of his neck.  Someone was watching him.  Looking up he saw 
a form outlined against the darkening sky.  Haldir.  How 
long he had been there Estel did not know, but he knew it 
could not have been long or his ranger's instincts would 
have warned him before now.

"I see you have taken my words to heart, Estel,"  Haldir 
said softly.  Estel did not respond, merely gazing at the 
Elf who seemed to glow, his blonde hair like liquid silver 
in the moonlight.  After a short time Haldir began taking 
off his clothes, carefully and slowly folding each item, 
drawing out the suspense until he was completely naked 
before the man.  Estel could not prevent a soft sigh 
escaping his lips at the sight.  With some effort he lifted 
his gaze from the Elf's body to his face and saw with a 
start that Haldir was smirking at him.  So he thinks he can 
have me again, Estel thought, suddenly angry at his 
reaction to the Elf and Haldir's arrogance infuriated him 
even further.  I will not open my heart to him again, he 
vowed.  Still smirking Haldir lowered himself into the pool 
and made his way over to the man until they were face to 
face.

It would have been the most natural thing in the world to 
draw the Elf close and run his hands over that magnificent 
body and allow Haldir to do the same to him, but Estel knew 
that unless he wanted to return to the agony of loving, and 
not being loved in return, he would have to resist the 
urgings of his body.  It was plain by the expression on his 
face that Haldir believed him to be incapable of that.  
What Haldir failed to realise was the depth of feeling the 
man had for him, and also how deeply he had been hurt when 
Haldir had refused his love.  Estel realised that perhaps 
he had made a mistake in returning to Lothlorien and 
opening those wounds again, but now he used that pain to 
his advantage.

"How do you find the fair city of 'Lorien after two years 
absence, Estel?"  

"I find it as I have always found it, Guardian," Estel 
replied icily.  Two could play at Haldir's game he decided.  
It was obvious by Haldir's actions in joining him in the 
bath that Estel had mis-read his intentions earlier.  It 
would now appear that Haldir wished to resume their affair 
as if nothing had happened.  This time, Estel thought, it 
would be Haldir who would feel the sharp edge of rejection.

"And it's inhabitants?  Do you also find them as you always 
found them?"  Haldir inched closer, one eyebrow raised, the 
smirk firmly in place, confident he knew the answer 
already.

The double meaning in the question was not lost on Estel.  
"I find them to be as beautiful and magical as I 
remembered."  Haldir's grin widened triumphantly and then 
froze as Estel added softly, "It is I who have changed."

"Indeed?  And how is that?"

"I am not as easily swayed as I was when we last met."

To his surprise Haldir laughed at his words.  "I recall you 
being many things, Estel, but easy is definitely not one of 
them."  With that he closed the remaining distance between 
them, his hands gently stroking the man's sides under the 
water, running over his chest to softly rub the nipples.  
Leaning forward he began to nibble and kiss the man's ear.  
"Are you saying you do not want this?"

Estel felt his body reacting, the heat from Haldir's touch 
washing over him, hardening his nipples before travelling 
down his body and settling in his groin.  It took all his 
strength not to reach out and touch Haldir, kindling the 
fire that was already smouldering.  He amazed himself by 
remaining still except to move his head away from the Elf's 
ministrations.  Haldir looked at him, equally astonished.

"Estel?"

"That is exactly what I am saying, Haldir.  I do not want 
this."

"I do not believe you,"  Haldir said flatly.  Anger flared 
within Estel, overpowering and replacing the desire he 
felt.

"I came here to do what I could to help against the orcs, 
Haldir.  I do not intend to stay longer than a few weeks, a 
month at the most, and I doubt I will have time for your 
games."  The words came out harsher than he had intended 
and he saw something flicker for the briefest of moments 
behind the Elf's eyes, gone too quickly for him to 
identify.

Haldir looked at him for a long moment, as if trying to 
gauge if the man was indeed serious and then slowly removed 
his hands and backed away.  Estel watched as he climbed out 
of the pool and pulled on his leggings and tunic.  For a 
moment they looked at each other, neither one willing to 
drop his gaze.

"We shall see, Estel, we shall see."  Haldir spoke so low 
that Estel could barely hear him and then he turned his 
back and stalked off into the darkness.


******

Estel awoke when the first rays of sunlight filtered 
through the window into the room he was sleeping in.  He 
was a little disorientated at first, but soon the soothing 
sound of Elves singing in the distance, greeting the dawn, 
reminded him of where he was.  He lay still for a few 
moments, eyes shut.  Knowing he was safe from harm here in 
Lothlorien, he had slept deeply for the first time in many 
nights, but he had not slept long.  Following his encounter 
with Haldir at the pool he had returned to his talan, his 
body tense, but it had not been danger that had kept him 
from resting, but desire.  He had experienced an almost 
overwhelming urge to go to Haldir, to take him roughly, 
possess him, as if by bending the Elf's body to his will he 
could somehow force from him the declaration he so wanted - 
needed - to hear.  It was too late for that now.  The 
challenge had been issued, and he would not back down.  
Instead he had relieved his need himself, quickly and 
efficiently, as he had done many nights alone in the 
wilderness.  Of course, he had thought of Haldir as he 
brought himself to climax, and for a long time afterward 
his mind had tortured him with images of the Elf and their 
confrontation in the pool, before allowing him to escape 
into the darkness of slumber.

Rising, he quickly dressed and armed himself before leaving 
the talan and descending the ladder to the forest floor.

"Good morning, Estel!  I hope you slept well."

"It would be difficult not to sleep well in Lothlorien, 
Rumil,"  Estel smiled as he greeted the Elf.  Although 
Rumil was Haldir's brother and they looked alike, they 
could not be more different in demeanour.  Where Haldir was 
stern and slow to trust, Estel had found his brother to be 
far more friendly and open.  He strode to meet the Elf and 
they embraced, clapping each other on the back, genuinly 
glad to be in each other's company again.

"I'm sorry I was not here to meet you yesterday, Estel.  
Haldir had assigned my watch to the furthest border in the 
east.  When I returned you had already retired and I was 
loathe to disturb you after your journey,"  Rumil 
explained.  They started walking together in the direction 
of the clearing where the Galadhrim assembled each morning 
to get their assignments.

"Do not trouble yourself, Rumil.  I was tired and sought my 
bed earlier than usual,"  Estel reassured him.

"I expect my brother more than made up for my absence and 
welcomed you to 'Lorien in a satisfactory manner," Rumil 
laughed.

Estel tensed at the mention Haldir and the implied 
innuendo, earning a sidelong glance from Rumil when he did 
not answer immediately.

"Indeed," he mumbled, ignoring Rumil's questioning gaze, 
and redirected the conversation to safer waters.  "Rumil, 
tell me, how dangerous is this threat from the orcs?"  
Rumil's mood sobered instantly.

"There are more of them now than there ever have been 
before, attacking in seemingly endless waves, particularly 
from the south.  But far more dangerous than that, they 
seem to be organised in their attacks.  They seem to be 
driven or directed by someone, or something, that was not 
present in their warfare previously.  It is puzzeling and 
disconcerting.  A few of our kind have fallen," he finished 
softly, and Estel looked up and saw the pain in his eyes.

"I am sorry,"  he said sadly and laid his hand on the Elf's 
arm.  Under normal circumstances an orc was no match for an 
Elf in battle, and for any orc to be able gain the upper-
hand and actually slay an Elf, spoke more volumes than 
words alone.  It was troubling to think that someone with a 
greater understanding of warfare than the usually less than 
intelligent orc captain was directing them from afar.

They slowed their steps as they approached the assembly 
area and many Elves came to greet the human.  They were 
already beginning to form little groups of six or seven as 
they were given their assignments for the day.  Estel's 
eyes kept straying to where Haldir stood, conferring with 
one Elf after another as they discussed the days work.  He 
had no doubt that Haldir would assign him to his own group, 
a thought that troubled, and excited, the ranger at the 
same time.

Eventually, Haldir looked in his direction and called him 
and Rumil over.

"Good morning, Rumil.  Estel,"  he said with a nod.  Estel 
merely nodded in return.  "Rumil, I would like you to lead 
a group to the western border.  There have been reports of 
orc tracks that need investigating."  Rumil nodded his 
agreement.  "Estel, you will join him.  Your skill at 
tracking will be useful."

Realising he had been granted a reprieve for today at 
least, Estel let out the breath he had not even been aware 
he had been holding.  He barely heard as Haldir briefed 
Rumil fully before turning and joining his own group and 
setting off.

Rumil gathered the other Elves who were to make up their 
watch and they left the clearing, guided by an Elf who had 
been in the party to come across the tracks the day before.  
The Elf said it would take about two hours to reach the 
spot and Estel found his mind wandering as they marched 
through the forest.  It was some time before he realised 
that Rumil had fallen into step beside him.  Glancing up he 
caught Rumil looking at him with a concerned gaze and 
offered a small smile of reassurance.

"You look troubled by something, Estel.  Is all well?"

He knew he could not lie to the Elf so instead chose to 
tell a half-truth.  "Perhaps I am still a little tired 
after my journey, but do not worry, Rumil, I will not 
hinder you."

"That is not what worries me.  I have fought beside you too 
many times to doubt your skill, Estel.  Something weighs 
heavy on your heart.  I have felt it since I first saw you 
today.  Did something adverse happen to you on your travels 
through the world of men?"

"Nay, Rumil, although I would indeed prefer to stay and 
live amongst your kind."  Turning toward the Elf Estel 
clearly saw the worry etched on his face.  How can they be 
so different? he thought. Why could it not be Rumil who 
causes these emotions within me?  Feeling a little ashamed 
and yet knowing he had to put the Elf off he added, "Now is 
not the time to discuss such things, Rumil.  Soon we will 
be hunting orc and I would not burden you with my 
problems."

Looking a little hurt, Rumil made no reply and quickened 
his pace to move to the head of the group.  Estel let out a 
long sigh.  He would like nothing better than to confide in 
Rumil.  He thought of him as a brother, so close they had 
become when he had lived here.  Often he and Rumil would 
share a flask of wine, sing songs and generally make 
mischief together.  When Estel had begun his relationship 
with Haldir, Rumil had told him how glad it made him to see 
them together, how happy Estel had made his brother.  Estel 
did not believe he had made Haldir happy, not then and not 
now.  In fact, he almost believed Haldir to be incapable of 
feeling an emotion as strong as happiness.  He would 
believe it if he had not seen how Haldir was with others, 
perfectly at ease, with a ready smile and quick laugh.  It 
was almost as if Haldir turned into a different person 
around him, somehow tenser and wary.  Estel stopped in his 
tracks.  It was only around him that Haldir acted this way, 
only the passion in his embrace told Estel that he felt 
anything at all.  Yet around others, around his own kind, 
Haldir was himself, his guard down.  It is because I am 
human, Estel realised at last.  He thinks me unworthy to 
give his heart to.  Feeling as if he had taken a physical 
blow, Estel forced himself to move again and catch up with 
the others.  They had come across the orc tracks and Estel 
forced himself to focus on the task at hand, grateful for 
the distraction.

******

They fell into a routine.  Every morning Estel would go and 
get his assignment, and each time Haldir would assign him 
to Rumil's group.  Often they would encounter small bands 
of orcs that were dispatched with quickly and they would 
return for the evening meal.  Estel felt the evenings to be 
more stressful than a whole day of fighting orcs.  He 
carefully avoided being in contact with Haldir, and the Elf 
seemed to be respecting his wishes, but Estel would often 
feel those dark eyes upon him, burning into him. When he 
looked in the direction of that heat Haldir would raise an 
eyebrow, almost in invitation before moving on and talking 
to someone else.  Estel found he was also avoiding Rumil.  
It was obvious to all by now that there was some sort of 
breach between the man and his former lover and Estel knew 
Rumil would wish to discuss it.  The man would excuse 
himself early following their meal and remain in his talan 
for the rest of the night.  Once, he heard Rumil knock on 
the door and softly call to him and he had pretended to be 
asleep until the Elf left.  How can I talk to him of this, 
he thought.  How can I tell him that my heart has hardened 
against his brother as I realise now I was a mere plaything 
to him, a novelty.

The days blurred into one and before he knew it he had been 
in 'Lorien for a month.  Remembering his words to Haldir 
that first night he began to make preparations to leave.  
During one of his days off he sat in his talan, checking 
his weapons and making repairs here and there to his 
clothing and armour.  There was a knock at the door and 
knowing it would be Rumil, and also knowing he could not 
put off being alone with him again he called out a 
greeting, putting aside his work as Rumil entered and sat 
on the lone chair in the room.

"So you are leaving so soon?"  Estel very nearly laughed 
out loud as he remembered that these were almost the exact 
same words Haldir had first spoken to him on his return a 
month ago.

"Yes, I'm afraid so.  I still have much to learn, and 
'Lorien isn't the only city besieged.  I must go and help 
others if I can and learn from them in turn."

Rumil nodded as he understood the wisdom in this; he knew 
Estel had ties in both worlds.  There was a long silence 
then, but not an entirely uncomfortable one.

"I will miss you,"  Rumil said softly, his dark eyes, eyes 
that were so like Haldir's, looking at him sadly.

"And I you, Rumil.  I am sorry we could not have spent more 
time together."  It was true; now that it came to it he 
regretted his actions towards the Elf.  Rumil deserved 
better.

"Estel, I do not know what has happened between you and 
Haldir."  When it looked as if the man would say something 
he held up his hand, "Nay, let me finish.  I would not 
interfere between you, but anyone can see that something is 
wrong.  You have not chosen to confide in me and I respect 
your decision, although I see the pain in you.  While that 
saddens me, on behalf of both you and my brother, I feel an 
even greater sadness at the loss of our friendship."

"You are right, Rumil,"  Estel said after a long moment.  
"I also have felt the loss of my friend.  Forgive me.  I 
did not want you to be caught up in the middle of this and 
have kept my distance knowing that your allegiance must lie 
with your brother."

"Must I choose, Estel?  Are things as bad as that?"

"No,"  Estel sighed, "Not really.  I merely thought Haldir 
would have spoken to you of our... estrangement, and that 
you would naturally feel more for him than for me.  I would 
not fault you for it, Rumil"

Rumil's eyes narrowed, "I do not know what my brother has 
done to you, or if this foolishness comes from your stay 
with men, but I am master of my own mind, Estel, Haldir 
does not choose my friends for me.  Do not doubt my regard 
for you.  During these past weeks there is no one I would 
have liked more to be fighting at my side.  You are as a 
brother to me, just as much as Haldir."

Estel felt the warmth radiating from the Elf as he spoke 
and responded by walking to where he sat.  He reached out 
and gripped Rumil's shoulder with his hand.  "Thank you,"  
he said simply.  They both smiled and the gulf that had 
been between them closed tight.

"Now that we have that out of the way..." Rumil said, his 
eyes serious, "There is something else that has been long 
overdue since your return, and I must ask a most serious 
question."  He stood and began walking to the door, opened 
it and reached for something on the ledge outside.

"What is that?"  Estel asked, confused, almost dreading 
what was to follow.

"Do you prefer red or white?"  Rumil asked, a wide grin on 
his face as he held two flasks of wine in one hand and two 
glasses in the other.

"Rumil, it is good to see that some things have not 
changed, my friend,"  Estel said with a laugh and took the 
flask of red wine and one of the glasses before settling 
himself comfortably on the bed.

They spent the rest of the afternoon in comfortable 
companionship, swapping stories, each one more outrageous 
than the last.  After finishing the wine they then braved 
the descent down the ladder, wondering loudly what was 
wrong with the ladder that it moved so violently, and 
joined the rest of the Elves for the evening meal.  By the 
end of the evening they had grown so raucous, their arms 
slung around each others shoulders, singing at the top of 
their lungs, that most of the other Elves simply shook 
their heads and smiled at them.  Taking this to be 
encouragement they launched into another song, unaware of 
the steady and unwavering gaze of one Elf, hidden in the 
part shadows.  Haldir looked on, an enigmatic look on his 
face, as he saw his brother and former lover resume their 
friendship.

Finally, after a stern talking to by Lord Celeborn, the 
pair moved on, walking an unsteady path to their talans.  
As they walked, Rumil asked Estel favour, that he would 
remain in 'Lorien for a few more days.  Haldir had informed 
them that a contingent of Elves from Mirkwood were on their 
way to strengthen their guard, and Rumil would have Estel 
wait until they arrived.  To this Estel agreed, and they 
parted with an embrace, each swearing that they would never 
again allow anything to come between them.


******


Estel made his way precariously up the ladder to his talan 
where he flopped down ungracefully on the bed without 
bothering to remove his clothing, his head spinning wildly.  
For the first time since his arrival in 'Lorien he felt 
completely relaxed, the balm of friendship soothing his 
troubled mind for the time being.  With a smile he shut his 
eyes, resisting the wave of nausea as he did so, and almost 
immediately a vision of an Elf with dark indigo eyes 
appeared in his mind.  Those eyes, so serious and 
unforgiving, sobered him a little, but he merely smiled at 
the apparition and drifted off into a dream filled sleep.

In his dream he saw Haldir standing completely still before 
him, watching him as if trying to memorise his image in his 
mind.  Estel knew this to be a dream as Haldir's face bore 
no sign of the arrogant smirk that seemed to be a permanent 
fixture now.  Before he had a chance to speak Haldir knelt 
beside the bed and his head swooped down to place a gentle 
kiss on the man's mouth.  He softly brushed his lips 
against the man's, almost reverently, before reaching down 
to remove the man's boots.  Returning from the foot of the 
bed Haldir kissed Estel again, a little more forcefully 
this time, and the man's arms reached out to embrace the 
Elf, desiring greater contact.  The Elf leaned back, 
snaking one arm around the man for support, bringing him 
into a sitting position.  Breaking free from the kiss, 
Haldir began to untie the fastenings of Estel's tunic, 
never taking his eyes from the man's as he slipped the 
garment over Estel's shoulders and cast it aside.  His 
fingertips ran a trail over the man's arms and shoulders, 
so soft it almost tickled, before beginning their descent 
over his chest, moving in ever decreasing, but tortuously 
slow, circles around his nipples.

Estel heard his own breathing quicken as he waited for that 
contact.  Their eyes were still locked, and Haldir seemed 
to be in no hurry, delighting in the feel of the hair on 
the man's chest and in seeing the effect his simple touch 
was having on the human.  Becoming impatient, Estel reached 
for the Elf again, leaning forward to kiss him, but Haldir 
caught his hands and held them at his side.  He did allow 
the kiss though, and Estel felt the Elf's tongue against 
his lips, demanding entry, which he gave immediately.  As 
he felt Haldir's tongue search his mouth, tasting him, 
swirling, devouring, he felt an incredibly intense wave of 
desire wash over him.  He wanted this.  He wanted Haldir.  
He wished he had the strength to break free from the Elf, 
to overpower him and possess him, but it was too late for 
that now; the Elf's kiss had drained him of his strength 
before he had known what was happening.  Vainly he sought 
for domination of the kiss, his tongue chasing Haldir's.  
The Elf immediately pulled away and Estel whimpered softly 
as he felt the loss.

Haldir released one of his hands, which immediately flew up 
to stroke the Elf's long silver hair.  Estel could see the 
unveiled desire burning in the Elf's eyes and it almost 
undid him, knowing that his eyes were reflecting the same 
passion.  When Haldir laid his free hand on his chest and 
pushed gently Estel complied and lay back on the bed.  He 
was rewarded with another long, passionate kiss and could 
feel his cock come alive, throbbing in his breeches, 
demanding the same attention his mouth was receiving.  A 
small moan vibrated through his mouth, causing the Elf to 
exert more pressure, his lips crushing the man's.  Haldir 
caught Estel's free hand reaching up to anchor it above 
their heads, doing the same with the other, all his 
movements slow and deliberate.  Estel felt no alarm at 
this, all he knew was that Haldir was here, kissing him, 
touching him, his tongue so skilled that Estel felt as if 
nothing else mattered apart from that kiss as he shifted 
and moaned in his sleep.

Eventually, they both needed to break for air, and when he 
tried to reach down and use the time to divest the Elf of 
his clothes, Estel found that he could not move.  His hands 
had somehow been effectively and efficiently tied to the 
end of the bed.  Haldir smiled at him and smothered his 
protests with another kiss, and in his dream Estel allowed 
this, feeling his limbs turn to liquid while his cock 
hardened even further.  The sense of being helpless, of 
being completely at the mercy of the Elf held an undeniable 
sense of eroticism, fanning the flames of passion even 
higher.

Haldir ended his kiss and his fingers reached up to trace 
the line of the man's jaw, feeling the stubble of his 
beard, before resuming their former circular course on his 
chest.  After what seemed like an eternity Estel felt the 
Elf's fingers brush his nipples which hardened instantly 
and he arched his back, desiring greater contact.  He saw 
Haldir smile, and then he gasped as the Elf pinched both 
nipples painfully.  Anger flared in his eyes and he 
struggled weakly against his bonds.  Haldir ignored this as 
his fingertips traced a path down the man's stomach, 
dipping into his navel before following the path of the 
hair down to the top of the breeches, at which point Estel 
stilled again, his breathing now coming in small gasps, his 
eyes pleading.  Haldir stopped and placed his hands on 
either side of the man, his head leaning down, not towards 
his mouth this time.

"Do not fear, Estel," he breathed, as he licked and nipped 
at the man's ear, causing another moan to escape, "I will 
give you what want."  At those words Estel felt another 
strong wave of desire course through him and he moaned as 
he turned his head, trying to bring his lips into contact 
with Haldir's, but he was too late, the Elf had already 
pulled away.

He watched as Haldir removed his breeches, finally freeing 
his aching erection, before stripping himself.  At the 
sight of the naked Elf, Estel remembered his earlier 
intention and renewed his struggle to free his hands.  All 
he wanted to do was pounce on the Elf, turn him over and 
bury himself deep inside, claiming him.  Haldir chuckled 
softly as he saw this, as if he knew what it was the man 
was thinking.  His own erection stood proud as he waited 
for the man to comprehend that his struggling only served 
to tighten his bonds even further.

It did not take Estel long to realise this, and after he 
stilled again he was rewarded when Haldir's hands found his 
body again, stroking, caressing, teasing, covering every 
inch of the man's body except the places he most desired to 
be touched.  Starting at his shoulders, Haldir traced his 
way down over his sides, up over his stomach to his 
nipples.  For a while the Elf was held transfixed by them, 
rubbing his fingers back and forth, back and forth, over 
and again.  Estel had never known such sweet torture, his 
whole body jerking and writhing, wishing Haldir would 
increase the friction.  Even the pain of having his nipples 
pinched was better than these feather-soft caresses.  Even 
so, he could not stifle a whimper of protest when Haldir 
eventually moved on, trailing his fingers down over his 
hips, carefully avoiding his erection, before moving down 
his legs and coming back up along the inside of his thighs.  
Haldir's touch was so light, so sensual, that it left a 
trail of fire in its wake.  Estel knew he could not take 
much more, his cock weeping, his senses reeling.  His hips 
lifted and twisted, seeking to place his aching member in 
that path of that fire, but Haldir was relentless and did 
not yield to him the touch he most desired.  Sweat broke 
out over his body and he could not stop the constant low 
moans escaping his lips.  When Haldir leaned over and 
flicked his tongue over a hard nipple the moans escalated, 
and threatened to grow into a scream when the Elf withdrew 
and blew cold air over the spot, and then took the nipple 
in his mouth again, one of his hands playing with its 
partner.  Estel could do nothing except lie, quivering, his 
whole mind focused on what Haldir was doing to him, each 
flick of the tongue sending a jolt through his body, 
feeling the wetness on his nipple being blowed dry with 
soft breaths before being made wet again...

Wet.  

This was no dream. 

His eyes flew open and his whole body tensed.  The Elf's 
assault upon his body ceased.

"I'm glad you finally decided to join me, Estel.  You do 
sleep most soundly for a ranger."

"Haldir," he hissed.  Never had he known such anger, that 
Haldir would come to him like this, truss him up while he 
slept, taking advantage of his previous drunken state.  
"Untie me," he said with as much force as he could muster.  
His body still burned from the Elf's touch, his eyes 
flashing with rage and desire.  Seeing this, and knowing it 
to be a dangerous combination, Haldir smiled and shook his 
head.

"I think not, Estel."

"Is it your intention to take me against my will, then?  To 
force me?"  Haldir's eyes darkened.  Rape was a serious 
crime among Elves, and any Elf found to be guilty of it was 
ostracised and banished forever, not even permitted to 
cross the sea into the Grey Havens.

"Are you saying you wish me to stop, Estel?"  Haldir asked 
softly.  "All you have to do is say it and I will leave."  
As he said this, Haldir reached out and grabbed Estel cock, 
running his hand up and down the shaft, circling the 
weeping tip with his thumb when his hand reached the top.

This time Estel thought he would scream as the Elf's touch 
sent his desire spiralling upwards uncontrollably.  His 
hips jerked of their own accord and his breath came in 
ragged gasps.  After the torture of the earlier soft 
caresses this was pure bliss.  He found he could not speak 
as his hips began pumping in time to Haldir's hand, and 
when the Elf replaced the hand with his mouth, Estel felt 
sure he would find his release in seconds.

But Estel was not the one in control here.  Haldir held 
both his hips firmly, stopping the wild bucking, as he 
slowly ran his tongue up and down the shaft, swirling over 
the tip, tasting the man's essence before beginning a 
return path down to the base.  So controlled were the 
movements, designed to keep him at the brink without 
pushing him over the edge, that Estel thought he would 
surely perish.  The voice inside his head, that was told 
him he had to put an end to this, demand Haldir release him 
and leave, was slowly fading, sensing defeat.

Looking down, he saw Haldir's eyes upon him, watching his 
reaction intently.  Estel found this incredibly erotic and 
with a low moan he threw his head back, giving himself over 
fully to the sensations crashing over his body.  He felt 
Haldir release one of his hips and then cup his balls, 
playing with them gently for a moment before moving on down 
until his fingers eventually reached the man's puckered 
entrance.  Estel tensed slightly.  He had not been with 
another male since his last night here in 'Lorien, two 
years ago.  At first it had been that his heart still 
yearned for Haldir, and after time it had not seemed so 
important as he had thrown himself into fighting one enemy 
after another.  Haldir traced around the entrance lightly 
with his finger until Estel sighed and relaxed again, then 
gently pushed his finger through.  Not ceasing in his 
ministrations of the man's engorged member he began moving 
his finger, pushing further inside, searching for a certain 
spot, and knowing that once he found it there would be no 
going back for the man, if indeed there ever had been.

Estel knew this, too, but didn't care.  Nothing mattered 
now except how soon Haldir would allow him to fly over the 
edge of this passion and return to earth, sated.  He felt a 
second finger join the first, twisting and scissoring 
inside him, preparing him.  Then suddenly, even though 
Haldir's other hand still held him, his hips flew up 
violently, the action forcing his cock further into the 
Elf's mouth as the fingers inside him found their target.  
He was so close, so close, his whole body shaking.

He whimpered loudly when Haldir drew back and removed his 
mouth and the fingers left his body, leaving an unbearable 
emptiness.  Haldir sat on the edge of the bed and looked at 
him for a long moment, allowing the man some time to come 
back from the precipice.  His indigo eyes were dark with 
passion and he reached out, tracing a path over the man's 
jaw, his gaze following his fingers before looking up to 
meet the man's ice blue eyes.  Estel could barely breathe 
as he waited, his body as taut as a bowstring at full draw, 
only the slightest touch needed to release.

"Do you want this?"  Haldir asked.  Estel knew he was 
playing with him, recalling their confrontation a month 
ago.  This time Haldir had the upper hand though and the 
man's body demanded, without negotiation, that he swallow 
his pride.  He made no answer, but when Haldir's fingers 
made their way up to his lips he took them into his mouth 
eagerly, his tongue swirling as he sucked on them, 
mimicking the Elf's actions on his cock a few moments ago.

"So be it."  Haldir said softly and replaced his fingers in 
Estel's mouth with his tongue, his hand reaching out for a 
small vial he had placed near the bed earlier.  Estel 
lifted his head from the bed as he sought to deepen the 
kiss, their tongues clashing wildly, and he could taste the 
trace elements of his precum in the Elf's mouth.  He smelt 
a sweet, spicy scent as Haldir opened the vial and poured 
some of the oil over his fingers, then without breaking the 
kiss Haldir positioned himself above the man on the bed, 
smearing the oil over his own weeping erection.  Sitting 
back on his heels between the man's legs he allowed himself 
a moment to take in the sight before him.  As he ran his 
fingers up and down his own hard shaft he realised that 
never had he seen Estel look so beautiful, so taken by 
passion, and he knew his own climax would come quickly if 
he was not careful.  Estel was watching his hand upon his 
cock intently, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips, and 
Haldir felt a desire so strong as he thought of the 
pleasure that tongue could bring him that he very nearly 
lost control right then.

He guided his cock down the cleft of the man's backside, 
rubbing the slick head over the entrance again and again, 
causing them both to gasp and their breathing quicken.

"Saes, Haldir (please, Haldir),"  Estel gasped, and unable 
to stop himself the Elf lifted the man's leg over his 
shoulder and entered him in one motion, filling him 
completely.  Haldir had been unprepared for how tight and 
hot the man would be and had to close his eyes for a 
moment, his jaw clenching as he fought for control.  It 
felt so good,  so tight, so much better than with anyone 
else, and when he felt Estel relax and then flex his hips 
in a silent plea for him to move, he gasped and a soft moan 
escaped him.

Finally, when he felt he could risk it, he let go of the 
man's leg and pulled back slowly, leaving only the head of 
his cock inside.  Estel writhed underneath him, moaning 
sweetly, and he slammed back into him only to withdraw 
slowly again.

Estel felt as if he was floating, only the fact that Haldir 
was on top of him, inside him, kept him tethered to the 
earth.  He heard the Elf moan and, impossibly, felt his own 
passion go up a notch.  Haldir kept this rhythm for a few 
minutes, withdrawing and then ramming back into him, 
sliding over his prostrate every time.  

"Harder,"  he gasped, his eyes closed, and the Elf 
complied, slamming their hips together time after time, in 
a relentless rhythm.  Estel felt as if every pore of his 
body was alive, living only for this pleasure, for the feel 
of Haldir inside him.  He knew he couldn't last much 
longer, the pressure was building in his groin, a precursor 
of his climax, becoming almost unbearable.  He opened his 
eyes and glanced up to find Haldir looking down at him, a 
quizzical expression on his face.  Unable to form a thought 
coherent enough to wonder at this he closed his eyes again.  
He felt Haldir's hand close around his cock and the world 
ceased to exist for Estel as the Elf began pumping him in 
time to the thrusts of their hips.  It took but a few 
strokes before the pressure in his groin exploded and he 
came over the Elf's hand, spilling his seed on his stomach.  
This time he did scream.  He screamed Haldir's name as wave 
after wave of pleasure crashed over him.  Haldir felt the 
muscles holding him contract violently with the force of 
the man's climax and then he came too, ramming into the man 
with one final, shuddering thrust.

Haldir placed a series of tender kisses over Estel's face, 
starting at his forehead he worked his way down to his 
mouth, placing a final soft kiss there before rolling over 
to lie on his side beside Estel, needing to rest for a 
moment.  Both of them were breathing harshly, both bodies 
gleaming with sweat.  He reached up and gently undid the 
ties that bound the man.  Estel brought his arms down, 
rubbing his wrists.  His shoulders ached from the position 
he had been in, and he felt relief at being freed.  Haldir 
reached out and began massaging the closest shoulder 
tenderly, almost absentmindedly, and they lay that way for 
a while, neither one speaking, their breathing slowly 
returning to normal.  Eventually, Estel reached down to 
where Haldir had left his clothes by the side of the bed.  
Picking them up, he flung them at the Elf.  

"You have proved your point, Haldir.  It's time for you to 
go."  Even though the words were softly spoken, the ice in 
his voice was unmistakable, and when Haldir would speak 
Estel turned to face him.  The Elf froze as he looked into 
a pair of steely eyes, eyes that held unconcealed rage... 
and something else.  Was it hatred?  He wisely decided not 
to press the issue, left the bed and dressed without saying 
a word.  When he finished he looked down at the man, his 
eyes full of an undefinable emotion.  Had he pushed him too 
far?  When the man did not speak again he turned to leave 
and walked to the door, pausing when he heard a voice 
behind him.

"Do not come here again, Haldir o 'Lorien.  You will not 
find me with my guard down a second time."

It was more than a command, it was a warning, and without 
looking back Haldir left, closing the door softly behind 
him.

Estel lay still for a long time, staring at the ceiling, 
his blood boiling.  Once again Haldir had won, had taught 
him that no matter how much he protested, no matter how 
much he denied it, his body still yearned for the Elf's 
touch, for the Elf to take him and fill him, pumping into 
him until nothing else mattered.  And despite his warning, 
Estel knew that if Haldir chose to press the issue, he 
would not be able to deny him, would beg him for it as he 
just had done.

Finally, exhausted, he closed his eyes and rolled over, 
feeling sleep beginning to overtake him.  Just before it 
did though, he remembered Haldir's questioning look during 
their lovemaking and his eyes opened in the darkness, a 
flush creeping over his face as he realised the cause.  
Without knowing, without any thought at all he had been 
speaking as he had neared his climax, calling out the same 
phrase over and over, "Meleth-nin, meleth-nin, ai! Haldir, 
meleth-nin. (My love, my love, yes!  Haldir, my love)".


******


Estel woke early and made his way to the pool to bathe 
before meeting the Galadhrim for his morning assignment.  
It felt good to be clean again after the exertions of the 
night before.  The warm water soothed his aching body and 
he allowed himself time to linger, composing his thoughts 
before he faced the others.  He knew that he and Haldir had 
been less than quiet; more to the point, that he had been 
less than quiet, and Elven ears were bound to have heard 
his cries of passion in the still night.  He knew there 
would be knowing looks, even a few good natured innuendos.  
He was not in the mood for this, but forced himself out of 
the pool with a sigh, dressed, and started to walk toward 
the clearing where the Galadhrim were beginning to 
assemble.  He was halfway there when he heard an Elf 
calling his name, turning toward the sound he saw Rumil 
walking in his direction.

"Morning, Estel,"  he said with a grin.  "How's the head?"

"Tolerable.  Yours?"  he replied, but before Rumil could 
answer another Elf came over to join them.  It was Taldin, 
one of the Marchwardens.

"Good morning.  Haldir left early this morning with a small 
party to greet our Mirkwood kin.  He'll be gone for a few 
days.  He asked me to extend his apologies that he was not 
able to wait and inform you himself."  Taldin had kept his 
eyes on Estel the whole time, a small smile playing about 
his lips, earning a quizzical look from Rumil.

"Did my brother leave any instructions for us?"  He asked 
the other Elf, giving Estel a quick look that the man took 
to mean they would discuss Taldin's strange behaviour 
later.  Estel was so relieved at not having to face Haldir 
that he barely noticed.

"Ai, Rumil, he asked that you and your group patrol the 
western border during your shift until he returns."  With a 
curious look he added, "He said that your other 
instructions remain the same."

Rumil looked slightly uncomfortable at this, and dismissed 
the Elf.  "Our thanks, Taldin."

Taldin bowed slightly but before he left he turned to the 
man with a grin, clasping his shoulder.  "Haldir was in 
high spirits when he left."  Although the words were meant 
in a friendly manner, Estel could not prevent a flush of 
embarrassment creeping up his neck... and anger at the 
Elf's indiscretion.

After he had left Rumil and Estel walked on slowly in 
silence, both burning with curiosity, but neither willing 
to question Taldin's cryptic comments lest they be 
questioned themselves.  Estel found it difficult to believe 
that Haldir's good humour was related to the events of the 
previous night.  They had hardly parted on good terms, but 
then he remembered the words of endearment he had 
unwittingly cried out in his passion, and felt his flush 
deepen.  It was obvious that Taldin at least knew of what 
had transpired and he knew it would not be long before the 
news reached Rumil.  Not wanting the Elf to hear it from 
another source, he grabbed Rumil's elbow and steered him 
away from the path.

"Come, Rumil, I would speak with you before we join the 
others."  He barely noticed the Elf's reluctance to follow, 
so wrapped up in his own thoughts as he was.

"Rumil, there is something you should know; I would have 
you hear it from me."  Pausing, not sure now of what he 
should say, he took a deep breath before continuing.  He 
wanted to make it clear to Rumil that he had not resumed 
his affair with Haldir, and yet did not want to seem as if 
he had been forced against his will.  "Last night I was 
roused from my sleep by Haldir... he came to me..."

Before he could continue Rumil gripped his arms.  "Did he 
tell you of his departure today?  Is something amiss, 
Estel?"  Rumil had misread Estel's hesitancy and drawn the 
wrong conclusion, concern reflected in his eyes.

"Nay, Rumil,"  Estel said quickly, trying to allay his 
fears.  "Nothing is wrong.  He has gone to meet the 
Mirkwood Elves, just as Taldin spoke.  There was another 
reason for his coming to me as he did."  There was a pause 
as Rumil digested this.

"You mean you have mended the breach between you?"  Rumil 
could not keep a note of hope from creeping into his voice.

"Not exactly.  I did not invite him to join me in my 
talan... and was asleep when he arrived.  Rumil, I will not 
lie to you.  I did not wish for this to happen, but 
Haldir...  he was very... persuasive.  Taldin's words this 
morning have made me realise that others know now also, and 
I wanted you to hear this from me."  He sighed as looked at 
Rumil.  The Elf wore a look on confusion on his face.

"Do you mean that Haldir forced you, Estel?"  He asked 
quietly, something close to shock and anger behind his 
voice.

"Nay, nay...  In the end I was a willing participant, but I 
want no more of this, Rumil."  Estel's voice was full of 
emotion, and now that he had started it was if a dam had 
burst inside of him and he poured out his anguish to his 
friend.  "I know Haldir does not feel for me what I feel 
for him.  I know that he thinks of me nothing more than his 
human playmate, a mortal worthy of desire but not love.  I 
do not wish to live like that, Rumil, having him and yet 
not having all of him, possessing his body but not the most 
important part... his heart."

Estel saw disbelief register on Rumil's face.  "You doubt 
my brother's feelings for you?  Is this the reason for your 
coldness toward each other?"

Another Elf, one of their group, came walking toward them 
and Rumil held up his hand in a gesture both asking the Elf 
to come no further and asking for a little more time before 
they joined the others.

"Have you spoken to Haldir of this?"

"He knows of my feelings, Rumil.  I confessed them before I 
left 'Lorien to become a Ranger.  He told me then that he 
did not return them."  Rumil placed his hand on the man's 
arm and Estel looked up, expecting to find pity in the 
Elf's eyes.  He saw only compassion and sighed deeply.

"Estel, I have a confession to make.  When it became 
apparent to me that Haldir would pursue you, I advised him 
against it.  Even though I thought of you as a friend, I 
knew it was a dangerous path for Haldir to walk, and I 
wanted to protect my brother."  Taking a deep breath he 
continued.  "There is a reason that Elves do not often 
choose humans as mates, and it is not that we think them 
unworthy, Estel.  On the contrary, we find humans 
attractive and are drawn to them, to their passion.  
Passion is not something that we can afford in our long 
lives, especially when it comes to loving mortals.  We must 
guard against it lest it devour us completely, and then, 
when the mortal dies, all that is left to us is 
overwhelming grief.  You know this, Estel, you know we can 
die from it.  If we were to feel as you do, with no thought 
of tomorrow or consequences, we would go insane."

"It would seem that your brother took your warning to 
heart, Rumil.  He takes what he wants and does not give me 
what I need in return,"  Estel spat out bitterly.

"Do not judge him so harshly, Estel.  My brother does love 
you."  Estel's eyes shot back up to meet the Elf's.

"And how do you know?  Has he told you?"

"Nay, not in so many words, but-"

"Then you know nothing!"  Estel turned to go, but was 
stopped by Rumil's hand gripping his arm to stall him.

"Do you not wonder why it is you are assigned to my group 
each day, why we are never assigned to the southern border, 
where the threat is greatest?  Do you not wonder at the 
'other instructions' Taldin spoke of before?"  When Estel 
did not reply, merely looked at him, his eyes flashing, 
Rumil continued softly.  "Haldir spoke to me before I saw 
you that first day.  Never before had he used his position 
to manipulate events for personal reasons but that day he 
did.  'Keep him safe' he said, 'keep him safe... for he 
holds my fate in his hands.'  You are no mere plaything to 
my brother, Estel."

Stunned, Estel found he could not speak, his heart beating 
so wildly he thought it would burst from his chest.  When 
Rumil released his grip and walked to where the others were 
waiting, he found he could not even move for a few moments.  
Could it be true?  Rumil's words had made sense; was he 
being selfish, asking too much of Haldir?  Walking slowly, 
he made his way to where the others were waiting for him, 
and they set off at last.  Estel could not help glancing 
toward Rumil throughout the day, hoping to catch his eye.  
He could tell the Elf was troubled, whether by the 
situation with the orcs or their conversation, Estel could 
not tell, and he wanted to reassure his friend that he need 
not worry, that he finally understood and things would be 
alright now, like they were before.

Estel did not get a chance that day though, and that night 
Rumil retired early, not even joining them for the evening 
meal.  Later Estel lay in bed, looking at the ceiling, 
mulling over what Rumil had revealed to him.  The more he 
thought about it, the more he realised that he had been 
blinded by love.  He had been brought up by Elves, and even 
though he had never seen it with his own eyes, he knew they 
could die of grief.  He should have realised that Haldir 
would try to protect himself from that.  Haldir would not 
be afraid of dying, but he had a strong sense of honour, 
and he would not allow anything, not even love, to come 
before his duty to his people.  And yet, he had as good as 
admitted to Rumil that he loved him.  Estel felt hope 
growing in his heart for the first time, and found he could 
not sleep.  He suddenly hated the Mirkwood Elves for taking 
Haldir away when he most needed to talk with him.  Smiling 
at himself, he punched his pillow a couple of times, trying 
to get more comfortable.  It was going to be a long couple 
of days until Haldir returned.

Estel's agitation grew as the days passed.  He had no idea 
what he would say to Haldir when he finally returned, but 
he had a fair idea of what he would do, and he could not 
help a broad grin from spreading over his face whenever he 
thought of that.  Celeborn and Galadriel had ordered a 
feast to be prepared to welcome the other Elves and it 
seemed that Rumil was very much caught up in the 
arrangements, unable to spare a moment for his friend, and 
even this could not dampen Estel's spirits.  He knew he 
would never ask Haldir to forsake his immortality, to be 
bound to him until he died, but simply knowing that he held 
the Elf's regard as no other did, was enough.  Knowing that 
Haldir did not think him beneath his love made the man's 
heart swell until it threatened to burst, and Estel 
intended to tell Haldir this as soon as he could.

Finally, the day arrived, and an Elf came to inform the 
Lord and Lady that the party should be in the city by 
nightfall.  Never had Estel felt so restless.  In an effort 
to make the time go faster he threw himself into helping 
with the final preparations, and even so the minutes seemed 
to crawl by, agonisingly slow.  The bulk of the Galadhrim 
had been given a day's respite to enjoy the feast and only 
those necessary for the protection of the city were on 
patrol.  At last the hour grew near, and Estel left to 
bathe and change.  He borrowed a tunic from an Elf of a 
similar size; navy blue with silver trimmings, and teamed 
it with a pair of soft blue leggings, wanting to look his 
best when his love returned.  In the distance he heard 
music and, knowing it could only mean one thing, he hurried 
back to the clearing where the festivities had begun, eyes 
searching the crowd eagerly.

Haldir was surrounded by Elves, laughing and talking, and 
his smile almost stole the man's breath away.  Estel took a 
moment to collect his thoughts as he watched Haldir.  It 
had seemed like an eternity since the Elf had left, and now 
he was back, and they could put the past behind them and 
start again.  A smile crept over Estel's face as he allowed 
his gaze to travel over the Elf's body.  The waiting of the 
past few days had seemed like torture to him and never had 
he seen Haldir look so desirable as he did in this 
moment...  then the crowd parted slightly and he saw the 
one that stood beside him.  Estel gasped and his eyes 
widened as he beheld the most attractive Elf he had ever 
seen.  The man knew he must be one of the Mirkwood 
contingent as he had never seen him before, and he wore the 
green and brown of the Woodland Elves.  He stood at 
Haldir's side the whole time, his posture straight, a broad 
grin on his delicately featured face that was framed by 
locks of flowing blonde hair.  Estel watched as Elves came 
up to greet the stranger respectfully, bowing before him.  
He must hold a place of honour, the man thought, and then 
he saw how the other Mirkwood Elves stayed close to him 
while the 'Lorien Elves flocked to him.  He draws them to 
him, his beauty, his nobility cannot be denied, even by 
other Elves.  He felt rather than heard an Elf come to 
stand just behind him.

"He does have that effect on one, doesn't he?"  A voice 
asked dryly.  Feeling a little sheepish, Estel turned and 
looked up into Rumil's eyes.

"Do you know him?  Who is he?" 

"He is none other than the youngest Prince of Mirkwood.  
His name is Legolas, which translates roughly to Greenleaf 
in the common tongue.  He has been to Lothlorien before, 
many years ago.  Mirkwood earned its name as it is often 
besieged by trouble of one kind of another, and his father, 
King Thranduil, sends emissaries here on occasion, asking 
for help, and sometimes sends soldiers to be trained.  
Legolas spent some time here as a youth, and afterward 
would visit when his father allowed it."

Estel digested this information as he turned back.  He saw 
that the party had already begun making its way to the 
tables and silently cursed, knowing it would be many hours 
before he would have a chance to talk to Haldir now.  He 
did however manage to secure a place at the meal that gave 
an excellent view of Haldir and Legolas as they sat side by 
side.  Although his thoughts were only of Haldir, he found 
his eyes kept drifting over to the Prince, who seemed 
perfectly at ease, laughing and chatting with the Lord and 
Lady before sharing a joke with the soldiers seated around 
them.  Once Estel caught him lean over and whisper some 
jest in Haldir's ear, causing the Marchwarden to almost 
choke on his bread, and he felt an unwanted stab of 
jealousy.  He studied Haldir intently, willing him to look 
his way, but the Elf seemed intent on enjoying his meal.  
Sighing, Estel glanced at Legolas again, only to be met by 
a steady gaze.  Estel felt a shock go through him; the 
Prince's gaze was so intense Estel felt as if he was trying 
to look into his very soul.  Whereas Legolas had been 
animated just moments before, he now sat stock still, his 
face serious, almost like an animal sensing danger.  Estel 
prayed that this face had not betrayed his earlier jealousy 
for the Elf to see.  Their eyes locked and held for a long 
moment, then Legolas smiled, and the sight of it was so 
breathtaking that the man could not help but smile back, 
and then the moment was broken when the Elf returned to his 
food and the conversation around him.

As the evening wore on Estel began to despair of ever 
having a moment alone with Haldir.  It seemed that the 
whole city was involved in a conspiracy, never leaving the 
Marchwarden alone, and always at his side was Legolas.  It 
began to get late and, finally admitting defeat, Estel 
found a secluded place underneath one of the huge mallorn 
trees a small distance away from the clearing.  He carried 
a flask of wine in one hand, a glass in the other, and sat 
down in the shadows intending to get drunk enough to push 
away the yearning of his heart and body for Haldir.  For 
tonight at least.

He had been sitting there unnoticed for some time, almost 
falling asleep, when he heard voices coming toward him.  
His head jerked up as he recognised one of them was 
Haldir's.  As the Elves moved closer he found he could make 
out their conversation, and wanting to listen so he could 
determine where Haldir was headed in order to follow him, 
he remained where he was, hoping he would not be 
discovered.

"... rude of you not to introduce us, Haldir."  Estel did 
not recognise the voice of Haldir's companion.  "I could 
feel his eyes upon us all evening."

"I'm sure you will make yourself known to him as it pleases 
you, Legolas, and we were having such a splendid time, why 
spoil it?  Estel has made it clear he wants nothing but 
space between us."  The man froze at the mention of his 
name, and his ears strained to hear more.

"He may say that, but his eyes tell a different story.  He 
wants you still, Haldir, I saw it on his face.  The 
question is, do you still yearn for him?"

Estel held his breath as he waited for Haldir to answer.  
After a few moments he heard the Elf sigh.

"My heart aches that Estel has turned his back on me, and 
yes, I cannot deny it, I still want him."  Estel let out a 
quiet sigh of relief, his heart pounding.  He almost leapt 
up, wanting to run to Haldir and feel his arms around him, 
to tell him he still felt the same.  Then he heard the 
other Elf chuckle softly.

"I thought as much, and having seen the man for myself, I 
do not blame you.  He is... compelling."  Then suddenly he 
added, "He was jealous of us tonight, at dinner."

"Jealous?"

"Truly.  If his eyes were daggers I would not be standing 
here before you."  Estel heard Haldir laugh, amused, and 
Legolas continued.  "I believe it showed itself on his face 
most clearly when I leaned over and whispered something to 
you.  I looked up and saw him watching us.  I must admit I 
felt a little uneasy at the time.  It was almost as if he 
knew what I was saying.  As I recall, I was making you a 
promise.  Do you remember what it was?"

"I do, my Prince, as I could not quite believe you would 
say such things with the Lord and Lady so close.  I only 
hope that you are an Elf of your word, Legolas."

"You know I am, Haldir."

There was a long silence then, and Estel thought that the 
pair had made their way silently through the trees, but 
then he heard something that made his heart stop.  It was a 
sound he had heard many nights, a sound he had yearned to 
hear again, but not like this.  A moan, a soft moan, that 
could only have come from one person, that could only mean 
one thing.  Estel drew his legs up and rested his chin on 
his knees, wrapping his arms around his head in an effort 
to silence those noises.  Suddenly his ears seemed to 
develop an almost Elvish sensitivity as every sound carried 
over to him.  He heard their breathing quicken, coming in 
sharp gasps, and more moans from both Elves now, mingled 
with rustling of leaves.  Not wanting to give himself away, 
he could only sit in misery, and he wished they would not 
tarry long.  His wish was granted when he heard Haldir 
gasp, his voice filled with desire.  "Not here, Legolas.  
Come with me, meleth-nin."  And they left at last, heading 
in the direction of Haldir's talan.

Estel waited until he was sure they were far enough away 
not to hear him, then he stood, leaving the empty wine 
flask behind, and began walking in the opposite direction, 
his head hung low.  His heart was aching and he quickened 
his pace, wanting to put as much distance between himself 
and the two Elves as possible.  Before he knew it he was 
running, as fast as his legs would carry him, aimlessly, 
blindly, not caring where he ended up, even if it was the 
dark of Mordor, as long as he could outrun this pain.

Eventually his lungs could take no more and he slumped to 
the ground, tears forming in his eyes.  It was his own 
fault, his insecurity had driven Haldir into the arms of 
another and now he had to bear the consequences.  He must 
leave, he could not stay and see these two together, 
knowing that they were lovers, feeling that Legolas had 
usurped his place in Haldir's bed.  The beautiful Prince 
and his steadfast consort.  And yet, somewhere deep down 
inside, despite the pain, Estel could not help feeling 
aroused at the thought of the two Elves together, bodies 
entwined.  So perfect they would be, so enticing to watch.  
He tried to block out the images in his mind, sobbing, and 
after a time he stilled.  Exhausted, he slipped into 
blessed unconsciousness.

Awaking before the dawn, Estel made his way back to his 
talan to change and arm himself.  He hardly saw a soul 
moving at this hour, but when he came across one early 
riser he asked the Elf to pass a message to Rumil that he 
had gone to the southern border to join the watch there.  
That done, he slipped quietly away before any could stop 
him.

******


Estel did not have to search for the contingent of Elves 
stationed along the southern border of Lothlorien, the 
sound of swords clashing, orcs dying and the stench of 
battle gave them away.  Although he had rested little the 
previous evening he immediately threw himself into the 
battle, slashing wildly with his sword, and found a kind of 
strange peace as the blind lust to kill overpowered him and 
made him forget all else.  The battle was short-lived 
though as, even with their newly acquired training, the 
band of orcs were no match for the strong group of Elves.  
Afterwards Estel was greeted warmly, even though all were 
surprised to see him there.  He was glad he did not have to 
explain his presence as everyone was kept busy removing and 
burning the bodies and tending to the wounded.

It was long after nightfall that Estel allowed himself the 
luxury of rest.  Finding a spot that gave a little privacy 
he eased himself onto his bedroll and closed his eyes with 
a deep sigh.  Due to the length of time it took to travel 
this far from the heart of Lothlorien, the Galadhrim were 
usually stationed here for a week at a time and slept in 
shifts, constantly on alert.  It had taken Estel the better 
part of the day to make his way to the border and now he 
was exhausted enough to fall easily into a deep, and 
thankfully dreamless, sleep.

He awoke at dawn the next morning, his body aching due to 
the excursions of the day before and for the lack of a 
proper bed.  With a wry smile he rose and stretched, 
thinking to himself that he was getting soft.  A month in 
the comfort of Lórien was beginning to have its effect on 
his travel-hardened body.

"Estel."  The voice broke him out of his reverie and he 
walked over to where the others were sitting in a circle 
having breakfast.  There were about 15 Elves in total, more 
than double the usual group of a watch.  With a glance 
Estel noticed that around half carried some form of wound, 
mostly superficial, but wounds nonetheless, and an anger 
stirred inside him at the thought of anyone harming these 
beautiful and graceful beings.

"Good morning," he said to no one in particular as he had 
not recognised who it was that called him over.  One of the 
Elves handed him a bowl with some food, which he took 
gratefully, realising that he had not eaten for a day.  
When they were done they were divided into two groups, one 
to patrol in each direction, although they were not 
permitted to travel too far away from each other in case of 
attack.  As they were about to leave a messenger from the 
city arrived and spoke with the leader of the group.  Estel 
waited with the others, checking his weapons.

"Estel, Anfiur has a message for you."

The other Elf moved away, giving them some privacy, as 
Estel approached.

"I have a message from Haldir,"  Anfiur began, and Estel 
felt his heart drop into his stomach.

"He asks that you return with me to Lórien.  He said that 
he has need of you elsewhere."

He wants to make me suffer, forcing me to watch him and his 
newfound love, Estel thought bitterly, then instantly 
regretted it.  He knew now that Haldir cared for him as 
much as he could, and this message was simply an attempt to 
place him away from danger.

"I am sorry, Anfiur.  Please pass on my regrets to Haldir, 
but I feel my time would be better served here.  As you can 
see, many Elves are wounded and I have some skill in 
healing."  Before the Elf could protest he added, "And they 
are hard pressed by the orcs.  My sword is needed here."

"I see that you speak truly, Estel, but I cannot go against 
the orders of my Captain."

The man bristled at the words; he would not be dragged away 
like some errant child.

"I say again, I am sorry, but I will not leave."

Seeing the resolve in the man's eyes the Elf sighed.  "I 
will tell him..."  he said, "but he will not be pleased.  
Do not be surprised if he sends another messenger 
tomorrow."

"Then tell him from me that my answer will be the same then 
also,"  Estel replied softly and moved to rejoin the group 
of Elves, anxious to depart.

Again the borders were attacked by Orcs that day and once 
more Estel allowed himself to fall into the trance-like 
state that came with killing.  He felt, heard and saw 
nothing except killing, welcoming the brief respite from 
the aching of his heart.

There was no message from Haldir the next morning, or the 
morning after that, and eventually Estel fell into a kind 
of routine.  Not a day passed without some sort of battle 
and when that happened Estel let himself be transformed, 
forgetting all else, and afterward he would turn all his 
attentions toward caring for the wounded until exhaustion 
overcame him and he slept.  It was the only way he knew to 
stop the dreams filled of an Elf with indigo eyes, to 
prevent the thoughts of his love with another creeping into 
his mind that threatened to drive him mad.  Eventually, 
another group arrived to take over from the ones stationed 
there, but despite protests from several Elves, Estel 
elected to remain at the border and join the second watch.  
He knew that eventually he would have to return to the 
city, even if it was to simply pack a few things and take 
his leave, but he was not ready for that yet.  He was not 
willing to face those demons again so soon.

In his mind he knew that he could not go on like this for 
very long.  His body needed rest, but he constantly pushed 
himself to the limit.  On the sixth day of being at the 
border he took his first wound, a slice to his arm, running 
from his shoulder to elbow, and he barely felt it so intent 
he was on exacting revenge.  After the fight his companions 
studied him, concerned, and tried to get him to rest.  
Estel gently rejected their ministrations as they attempted 
to help him dress the wound, announcing it was only 
superficial, that it looked worse than it was.  In reality 
it was more serious than he let on but he refused to let 
them see that.  Secretly he was glad this had happened.  It 
gave his mind something new to focus on.  But it also 
slowed him down and the loss of blood and the pain drew on 
his body's already depleted reserves.

When the week was over and the Elves made ready to return 
to the city when their relief arrived, he knew he could not 
survive another seven days without some rest and he 
reluctantly agreed to return to Lórien.

It was mid afternoon when they arrived and Estel quickly 
scanned his surroundings, hoping and yet dreading to find 
Haldir there.  Rumil saw him first and swiftly made his way 
to the man's side.  His anger that Estel should sneak off 
like he had and put himself in danger quickly died as he 
saw the haggard expression on the man's face, the dark 
circles under the eyes, and the bandage on the arm.  Worst 
of all was the haunted look in Estel's eyes.  Rumil looked 
at the Elves who had made their way back with the man, and 
a concerned look passed between them.  The Elves had known 
that he had been pushing himself too far, but had been 
powerless to stop him, unless they wanted to tie him up by 
force to keep him still.  All they could do was keep a 
watch on him, ready to intervene if the situation became 
too dangerous.

"Come with me," Rumil ordered, taking Estel by the arm that 
was not wounded.  Too weary to protest Estel allowed 
himself to be led away without saying a word.  They walked 
a short distance to private glade with a pool of warm 
spring water.

"Take your clothes off,"  

"Rumil -" Estel got no further.  All of a sudden the Elf's 
hands were upon him, roughly undoing the ties of his 
leather vest, and he was unable to stop him.  Soon he was 
standing naked, shivering.

"Get in," Rumil said, his head indicating the pool, and as 
the man obeyed he sat on the edge, watching him.  Estel 
leaned against the wall of the pool, letting the warmth 
envelop him and Rumil reached over to begin scrubbing the 
man clean with his hands, taking care around the wound and 
checking it for signs of infection.  There was nothing 
sexual in the touch, only relief and comfort, and Estel 
leaned into it with a sigh.  Once he had finished the man's 
eyes met Rumil's, shining with gratitude.

"Never do that again," the elf said, his voice hard.

Shifting his weight and wincing at the pain Estel replied 
with a wry smile, "Do not fear, Rumil, I think I have 
learned my lesson."

"This is no jest, Estel!"  The man looked up, surprised at 
the sharp tone.  He knew Rumil would be angry with him, but 
had not realised how angry.  "Do you realise what you have 
done with your little escapade?  Never have I seen Haldir 
so distraught.  He would not show it to others, but I knew.  
I almost had to physically restrain him from running off 
after you."

Estel swallowed, a small wave of guilt washing over him.  
He had not meant to cause anyone pain, had only wished to 
escape.  When faced with the man's silence Rumil found his 
anger rising.

"It was I that convinced him, finally, to send a messenger.  
To ask you to return and join my watch again.  When your 
answer came back, when you did not return with the first 
group, and they told us of your state of mind, even I was 
tempted to follow you and drag you back if need be.  But I 
had hoped you would come to your senses before this."  He 
gestured toward the man's wound with a wave of his hand.

Tired of being shouted at Estel felt his own anger 
stirring.  "I do not need a nursemaid, Rumil.  As you can 
see I have returned, relatively unharmed, and Haldir...  he 
has no right to command me.  He has made his choice.  He 
has Legolas now to take my place, has he not?"

The last sentence hung heavy in the air, and Estel felt an 
overwhelming sense of weariness fall over him.  Rumil stood 
and looked at him for a long moment.

"You are a fool, Estel, and you fail to see what is before 
your very eyes.  So wrapped up are you in your own desires, 
you reject that which would give you, and those who care 
about you, great happiness."  He turned to go, then once 
again faced the pool.  "Haldir has not yet returned from 
his watch.  I suggest you seek him out upon his return.  
Resolve this now, lest it destroy you both."

Estel remained motionless where he was for some time after 
Rumil left, staring off into space.  Eventually he realised 
that darkness had almost fallen and slowly rose out of the 
pool, grimacing at the ache in his tired muscles.  He 
rummaged in his pack for some relatively clean clothes and 
after dressing set off in toward the heart of the city.  He 
knew Rumil was right, and even though he felt a knot of 
panic in the pit of his stomach at the thought, he knew he 
had to confront Haldir and make his peace with the Elf 
before he left Lórien for the final time. The evening meal 
was long over by the time Estel approached the pavilion, 
but many Elves were still present, singing songs or talking 
softly in groups.  Estel's eyes were immediately drawn to 
Legolas; the Mirkwood Elf seemed to have an aura of light 
around him, and all were drawn to him, like moths to a 
flame.  There was something odd about the scene, and it 
took a few moments before Estel to comprehend what it was.  
Haldir was not beside him.  In fact, the Marchwarden was 
nowhere to be seen.  Estel quietly left the pavilion, not 
wishing to draw attention to himself.  He had only gone a 
short distance when he heard someone speak behind him.

"You could try the river."  The man spun around at the 
sound of the voice; a voice that had echoed in his mind 
over the past ten days, taunting him.  

"What do you mean?" he asked sharply.

"Haldir.  You might find him at the river."

For a moment the two stood, their gazes locked on each 
other, and Estel could almost feel himself drowning as he 
gazed into those bright blue eyes.  He was unsure of what 
his reaction should be and the Elf gave nothing away, his 
expression impassive.  Close up the Mirkwood Prince was 
even more stunning, if that were possible, but what held 
the man was the Elf's eyes, they seemed to have a life of 
their own, an intensity that was unequalled in any that 
Estel had beheld before.  Gods, Haldir, but you have one 
worthy of your love here, he thought, and suddenly he was 
unsure of what Haldir's reaction might be if he did find 
him.  Why should the Marchwarden give him a second thought 
when he had this?

As if reading his thoughts Legolas broke the silence and 
said softly, "He would be glad to see you."

In an instant Estel felt all the frustration he felt rise 
to the surface, that this Elf who had taken his place in 
Haldir's heart should be able to read him so easily 
infuriated him more.

"And what if he is more than glad to see me, Legolas?  And 
I him?  What then?"  he spat out, wanting to hurt, to get 
some sort of reaction.

"Then I would hope it would bring you both some peace, 
Estel."  This was not the answer Estel had been expecting 
and he felt his anger ebb away, leaving only the dull 
familiar ache in his heart, and he looked away, unwilling 
to meet the Elf's gaze any longer.

"Do you love him?"  he finally whispered.  Legolas waited 
for the man to look back at him before replying.

"Yes."

"And he loves you?"

"Yes."  There was another long silence.  "He also loves 
you, Estel.  Whether you choose to believe that or not, I 
know it to be true."

"How do you know?"  The question came out harsher than he 
intended and he had to fight to keep the anger from 
surfacing again.  It irked him that Legolas could be so 
calm, so composed, and even more so that he should be so 
affected by it.

"He told me," came the simple answer.

"He told you?  Just like that?  And tell me, Legolas, do 
you not feel betrayed when he tells you that and professes 
his love for you at the same time?"

Legolas looked at him for a long moment before answering; 
he could see the man's agitation, and did not wish to 
further inflame the situation and precipitate another hasty 
departure.

"No, I do not, Estel," he began slowly, "for I know that 
his love for you does not diminish his feelings for me, in 
the same way that I know his love for me does not take away 
the love he has for you.  There is room in his heart for 
the both of us."

"So you would share him then, like a piece of meat?  You 
would not care when we share a bed and you are left alone 
through the night.  Your heart would not be tortured at the 
thought of him and me together?"

"It need not be that way, Estel... for either of us,"  
Legolas said softly and taking a step forward he lifted his 
hand to gently stroke the man's cheek, an invitation 
clearly written in his eyes.

Estel gasped and stumbled back as if he had been burnt.  
Indeed, he had felt the heat in that soft caress, and it 
seemed to stem from the fire burning in the Elf's eyes, 
eyes that held him now in an uncompromising and unwavering 
gaze.  Estel could do nothing except stare, open-mouthed, 
as the full import of the Elf's words hit him.  This was 
not happening, it could not be happening, he thought as his 
mind tried to find a way to reject what his heart secretly 
desired.  That Legolas, this perfect being of light, would 
want him was shock enough, but to have found a way to have 
them both was beyond his comprehension.  Then, before words 
of protest could make their way to his lips, Legolas had 
taken hold of his hand and began leading him through the 
forest, and Estel found himself powerless to do anything 
but follow.

As they neared the river the Elf slowed his steps, and when 
they reached the edge of the wood Legolas turned and placed 
a finger to his mouth showing Estel he wished for him to 
remain silent, then gestured toward the water.  Estel 
looked in the direction he was pointing and saw Haldir 
resting on a rock, gazing out over the river.  He looked so 
beautiful, seemingly at ease, his silver hair flowing down 
his back, that the man's heart skipped a beat and he felt a 
shiver go through him when Legolas leaned forward and 
breathed one word into his ear.

"Watch."

Estel was so transfixed by the sight of Haldir in the 
moonlight that he was rooted to the spot, could not have 
moved if he wanted to, and Legolas disappeared from his 
side only to emerge from the trees behind where Haldir sat.  
Estel watched as the Woodland Elf approached slowly, 
murmuring Haldir's name and wrapped his arms around the 
Marchwarden, leaning into his back and placing a kiss on 
the tip of his ear.

"He's back.  He's safe."  

Despite the gentle sound of the river, Legolas' words 
carried clearly to where Estel stood, and the man knew that 
the Elf had deliberately made it so.  He saw rather than 
heard Haldir sigh and lean back against Legolas' chest.  
His relief was so evident that Estel felt tears prick at 
the corners of his eyes.  After a time Haldir spoke, more 
softly than Legolas, and Estel held his breath and strained 
to hear what he would say.

"For the first time ever I find myself at a loss, Legolas.  
I know I am the cause of his pain, and it's tearing me 
apart.  We are at a crossroads, him and I, and I do not 
know what to do.  If I follow the path of my heart and 
offer myself to him completely, submitting to him as he 
seems to need, I turn my back on all that I am.  Our people 
are leaving Middle Earth and eventually I will be forced to 
live with him in the lands of men, always yearning to cross 
the sea and join my kin.  I will diminish, without purpose, 
becoming a ghost of what I once was, and his love for me 
will fade.  And when he dies nothing will be left to me 
except darkness.  None of my kin will remain, and I will 
wander aimless and alone until death claims me also.  And 
yet, if I do not, I fear he will never forgive me, and I 
cannot bear the thought of him walking the Earth with 
hatred in his heart for me, and that hatred will torture me 
and bind me to him just as closely as his love."

Estel listened, his tears flowing freely now, and glanced 
up to see Legolas looking in his direction.  Silently he 
thanked the Mirkwood Prince, knowing he had received a 
great gift.  He had been granted a glimpse into his 
beloved's heart, a brief look into his immortal soul, and 
was humbled by the experience. He saw Legolas raise one 
eyebrow, and he nodded his acquiescence, seeing clearly now 
what it was he must do.

Legolas turned his attention to Haldir once more, running 
his tongue along his ear.  "Hush, love, it will be alright.  
I promise."  Reaching down, he began to undo the fastenings 
of the other Elf's tunic and added, "And you know I always 
keep my promises."

Soon the tunic was cast to the ground, closely followed by 
Haldir's undershirt, until he was naked to the waist.  
Continuing to lick and bite the ear presented to him, 
Legolas' arms snaked around until his fingers found their 
home at Haldir's nipples, gently rubbing and tweaking until 
they were hard peaks and Haldir was moaning softly.  Estel 
felt him own breathing quicken and could not prevent a gasp 
from escaping when Legolas moved so that he was standing in 
front of Haldir and began removing his own clothing.  Just 
like in his dreams, they were perfect together, their 
beauty boundless, effortless.  When Legolas was completely 
naked Estel watched as Haldir wrapped his arms around his 
waist and rested his head on the muscled stomach for a 
moment.  He murmured something against the flawless skin 
that Estel could not quite catch and began moving his 
tongue in circles around the Elf's navel.  His hands 
travelled up Legolas' back, caressing, massaging, and then 
made their way back down to cup the firm buttocks, 
squeezing gently before returning on their former path.  
Estel could clearly see the desire on the face of the 
Prince and felt his own passion stirring in response.

After a short time Legolas gently pushed Haldir away and 
knelt before him, removing his boots and leggings.  The 
Marchwarden's erection was clearly evident now that it was 
released from its bonds and when Legolas took him in his 
mouth Estel heard Haldir moan.  Estel watched as Legolas' 
tongue swirled up and down the shaft, drawing more moans 
from its owner, moans that trailed off to a whimper when 
Legolas released him and stood up.  Pulling the Guardian 
into his arms, they kissed, and when Estel saw Haldir grind 
his hips against the other Elf, rubbing their erections 
together, he could take no more.  Breaking free from the 
spell he had been under he emerged from his hiding place.  
Haldir immediately released Legolas and turned at the sound 
of his approaching footsteps.

"Estel!"  he gasped and made a grab for his discarded 
clothing, only to be stopped when Legolas placed a hand on 
his arm.

"Wait, beloved."

Haldir looked at Legolas uncertainly then turned toward the 
man again.

"Estel, what are you doing here?"  he asked, clearly 
discomforted.

"I have come to claim what's mine."  Estel responded 
quietly, and began moving toward the pair, removing his 
clothing as he walked.  He paused only to divest himself of 
his boots and leggings and then closed the distance until 
he stood a mere foot away from the two Elves, close enough 
to touch.  His eyes did not leave Haldir's face, and then, 
without speaking he turned and caught Legolas in a searing 
kiss, a kiss full of desire... and promise.  Their tongues 
explored the newness of each other's mouths, chasing and 
dancing, until they were both forced to break away to catch 
their breath.

"What is this?"  Haldir whispered, clearly affected by the 
display.

Reaching up to brush away a strand of silver hair Estel 
replied, "It would seem Legolas and I have come to an 
arrangement, meleth-nin."

"And do I not have a say this 'arrangement'?"  Haldir asked 
haughtily after a slight pause, his eyes narrowing.

Legolas laughed at the response, earning a glare from the 
Guardian.  "It appears that Haldir is most put out by our 
plans, Estel,"  he grinned.

"Indeed, my Prince," Estel replied, enjoying the light tone 
and relishing the thought of what was to come.  "Perhaps we 
should continue without him.  What do you say, Legolas?"  
He was rewarded when he saw Haldir's eyes widen with 
surprise.

"I believe we should, Estel.  How would you like to 
proceed?"

His eyes not leaving Haldir's face, Estel reached out and 
placed a hand on Legolas' shoulder, pressing down gently so 
that the Elf knelt before him.  He saw Haldir's eyes widen 
even further when Legolas obeyed the unspoken command and 
closed his mouth over Estel's erection, gently sucking on 
the tip and moving his lips up and down the shaft, teasing 
him with his tongue.  After a few minutes Estel could keep 
his eyes open no more as he felt the passion course through 
his veins.  All his thoughts concentrated on what Legolas 
was doing and he buried his hands in the Elf's hair, 
bringing his hips forward so that he could be taken deeper 
into that talented mouth.

With effort he forced his eyes open when he heard a sound 
to his left.  Haldir eyes seemed to be glued to Legolas' 
mouth, soft moans escaping his lips.  Without even 
realising it he had taken himself in one hand, pumping his 
erection in time to the movements.  With his last coherent 
thought for some time Estel reached over and batted the 
hand away.

"I told you I have come to claim what's mine," he said 
huskily, and drew in a sharp intake of breath when Legolas 
moaned at the words, the vibrations on his cock sending 
shivers through his entire body.  His eyes locked with 
Haldir's and he saw the love and desire he felt reflected 
in the dark depths.  

With his free hand he reached out and pulled Haldir to his 
side, their lips locking in a passionate kiss.  He allowed 
the Elf entry into his mouth, feeling the tongue swirl 
around his.  Releasing his grip on Elf's waist, his hand 
snaked down, searching, until at last it found its target 
and his fingers closed around Haldir's cock, gently 
squeezing and stroking.  The Elf reached out and began to 
gently caress the man's nipple with his fingertips.  The 
double assault on his body caused Estel to feel a jolt of 
pure passion run through him and he involuntarily tightened 
his grip on Haldir's cock, making them both moan in unison.  
He knew he could not last this way much longer, feeling his 
knees already weakening, and reluctantly broke free from 
both embraces.  He joined Legolas on his knees and was 
immediately caught in a bruising kiss, the Elf pushing his 
tongue deeply into his mouth.  Estel felt as if he had 
never been kissed so completely before and his hands began 
exploring the Elf's body, searching for tender spots.  When 
he felt Legolas' hand wrap around his weeping cock he 
moaned and leaned forward, pushing the Elf onto his back, 
and covered him with his body.  Legolas writhed beneath 
him, causing their erections to rub together and he moaned 
into the Elf's ear.  Suddenly he could wait no longer.  He 
wanted to bury himself in the Elf's body, wanted to see if 
he felt like Haldir, hot and velvety smooth.

"Do you have..." he gasped.  

"I do," Haldir said and left to rummage through their 
discarded clothing as Estel ran his tongue down Legolas' 
throat, gently biting the flesh of his shoulder, then 
further down until he took a hard nipple in his mouth.  He 
gently sucked as he swirled his tongue around the swollen 
flesh, running his fingers along the Elf's erection as he 
did so and smiled as Legolas' moans increased and his hips 
bucked wildly.  He was so distracted by the reaction that 
he did not feel Legolas' hands grip his sides until it was 
too late and he suddenly found himself on his back with 
Legolas straddling his hips, pinning him down.  Taking one 
of the man's earlobes between his teeth Legolas murmured 
"Im anira le (I desire you)," causing a thrill to run down 
Estel's spine.  Haldir had returned with the small vial 
and, leaning back, Legolas took it from and began smearing 
the oil over his cock, watching as Haldir bent to kiss the 
man, his long hair brushing over the short dark curls 
covering the man's chest.  He ran his slick fingers over 
Estel's erection, feeling it twitch under his touch and 
then lower between the man's legs, teasing the puckered 
entrance, rubbing in circular motions, driving the man's 
passion higher until he slipped one finger inside, hearing 
a muffled groan as he did so.  Not wanting to waste any 
time, Legolas pushed another inside, then another, twisting 
and scissoring, and he finally found the spot that made 
Estel tear his mouth away from Haldir's with a cry, his 
hips flying upward into the touch.  Legolas watched as 
Haldir shifted position and began licking Estel's cock, 
taking him fully in his mouth, and the sight was so 
intoxicating that it took an immense effort not to touch 
himself and bring his release then and there.

Instead he reached out and cupped Haldir's chin, forcing 
him up, bringing their faces together for a kiss.  His 
fingers kept moving inside Estel, rubbing his sensitive 
spot, and he knew the man's desire would spiral higher with 
the sight of the two of them kissing.  It wasn't long 
before Estel's breath was coming in short, harsh gasps.

"Gods!  You are killing me,"  Estel said, "Lle demada, Im 
ere' itofn fair (You forget, I am a lowly human)."

Both Elves chuckled and Legolas removed his fingers, 
earning a frown from the man.  Gripping his hips, the 
Mirkwood Prince gently flipped Estel onto his stomach and 
drew him up until he rested on his hands and knees.  
Caressing his back with one hand he guided himself to the 
man's entrance, slowly pushing into the heat until he was 
fully sheathed.  Estel groaned and leaned back, granting 
the Elf greater access.  Turning his head the man called 
Haldir's name softly, and balancing on one hand he used the 
other to guide the Elf to kneel in front of him.

When Legolas began moving Estel wrapped his lips around 
Haldir's erection, using the momentum of the thrusts as he 
sucked up and down.  Both Elves were moaning softly now, 
and Estel could feel four hands trailing over his back and 
shoulders, soothing, and when Legolas shifted slightly and 
began sliding over his prostrate he increased his 
ministrations of Haldir's cock so that all three of them 
began flying toward the edge.  He felt Legolas' hands grip 
his hips as he began pumping faster, harder and the man 
knew the Elf was close to his peak.  He allowed Haldir's 
cock to fall from his lips and rocked back to meet those 
thrusts with equal abandon.

"Hold off, Haldir.  I want you for myself, meleth-nin,"  he 
managed to say as he clenched his jaw, feeling his own 
approaching orgasm beginning to build, and used all his 
strength to fight it off.

"Do not fear, love, I am yours,"  Haldir breathed, then "By 
the Valar, Legolas, you are beautiful!"

The words drove Legolas over the edge and he began pounding 
into the man, spilling his seed into the hot flesh 
surrounding him with a cry, and Estel forced his hands into 
fists, digging into the soil, in an effort to control his 
own desire.  He felt the Elf relax and lean over his back, 
trailing soft kisses up his spine, his arms snaking around 
to embrace him and hold him tightly.  They stayed that way 
for a moment while Legolas recovered from his powerful 
orgasm and Estel forced his breathing to slow; and then 
Legolas withdrew gently, leaving an aching emptiness inside 
him.

Moving to one side Legolas lay on the grass, a look of pure 
contentment on his face and Estel drew himself up until he 
sat on his heels.  He sat there for a few minutes while 
Haldir watched patiently, allowing the night breeze to flow 
over his body, cooling him.  Then he nodded and at the 
signal Haldir reached for the vial of oil and covered both 
his hands before reaching out to stroke Estel's still 
weeping cock.  Estel closed his eyes and allowed the 
blissful feeling of that touch to wash over him, until the 
tightness in his groin grew too much and he gently removed 
Haldir's hands before he became powerless it control it.  

With no further preparation Haldir placed his legs on 
either side of the man and gently lowered himself until 
Estel was fully sheathed inside him.  Leaning back slightly 
to allow the Elf to position himself Estel sighed as he 
felt the familiar warmth envelop him.  He waited while 
Haldir shifted into a more comfortable position and wrapped 
his arms around the Elf's waist, hugging to his chest, not 
moving.

"My love,"  he whispered as he ran a lazy tongue around one 
nipple, smiling as Haldir arched his back into the caress 
with a soft gasp.

"Ai, meleth-nin,"  Haldir replied, running his fingers up 
and down the man's spine.

They stayed this way for a long moment, enjoying the feel 
and touch of each other, hands running over silky skin, 
lingering on tender spots before moving on, until Estel 
leaned back and their eyes locked.  Estel placed his hands 
on Haldir's hips and began to gently guide him, setting a 
slow pace at first, wanting to draw out the experience as 
long as possible.  They eventually fell into a steady 
rhythm and with each thrust Estel felt his desire growing.  
He had already been pushed right to the precipice and back 
again, and he knew he could not hold off much longer.  The 
feel of Haldir around him, holding him in a velvety, 
searing hot grip, riding him, was too much.  He reached 
around and grabbed the Elf's buttocks in a firm grip, 
forcing the Elf to move faster then leaned his head forward 
and ran his tongue along the Elf's collarbone and down the 
smooth chest, to tease a nipple.  He felt Haldir's erection 
twitch against his stomach and knowing his own climax was 
not far away he released his grip on one buttock and began 
pumping the Elf in time to his thrusts.  He heard Haldir 
groan his name over and over as he began slamming down, 
impaling himself fully on the man, taking as much of him in 
his body as he could, and then his seed spilled out, 
cascading over the man's hand.  Estel felt the muscles 
around him clench tightly and the tension that had been 
growing in his groin finally exploded.  He called out 
Haldir's name as he thrust upward one final, forceful time, 
and they held on to each other tightly for support.

Estel rested his head against the Elf's chest listening as 
Haldir's heart beat wildly before slowly returning to a 
normal rhythm.  He wanted nothing more than to be able to 
stay like this forever, feeling safe and warm and loved in 
the arms of his beloved.  Out of the corner of his eye he 
saw Legolas walk into the river and begin to wash himself, 
leaving them alone on the bank, and he reluctantly pulled 
away so that both he and Haldir could lie down.  He lay on 
his side and rested his head on one hand while the other 
traced small idle patterns over Haldir's chest.  Estel 
found that he could not tear his eyes away from Legolas, 
who stood waist deep in the water, almost glowing in the 
moonlight.

"He's beautiful," Estel whispered, in awe, and looked down 
when Haldir made no response.  Leaning down he planted 
small, feather-light kisses along the Elf's brow.  "Im 
meleth le (I love you)."

He felt Haldir stiffen slightly at the words and quickly 
quelled anything the Elf might say with a kiss.

"Shhhh, meleth-nin, let me finish," he whispered against 
his lips, while his hand stroked and caressed until the Elf 
relaxed again.  "My love for you is enough to make me want 
to stay here forever, to be with you from this day until 
the day I die, not caring about anyone or anything else.  
But I also love you enough to let you go."

"What do you mean, Estel?" 

Taking a deep breath, and feeling his heart break a little, 
Estel replied, "I mean that I leave Lórien tomorrow.  We 
both have our own destiny to fulfill and the path you must 
take I cannot follow, no more than you can follow mine.  I 
will always carry the memory of you with me wherever I go, 
Haldir, and who knows, perhaps our paths will cross again 
before you leave these shores and we will remember what it 
is like to feel this way once more."  He saw the tears well 
up in the Elf's eyes and bent to kiss them away.

"I will miss you," Haldir whispered finally.

"And I you...  but I know I leave you in more than capable 
hands, my love," looking up to see Legolas emerging from 
the river and walking slowly toward them.  "You belong with 
him, Haldir, someone who can accompany you on your 
journey."

Legolas reached them before Haldir could respond and shook 
water over them both.  Estel laughed and rose, moving to 
collect his clothing.  Although the parting was 
bittersweet, he felt as if a weight had been lifted from 
his shoulders.

"Are you leaving, Estel?"

"Ai, Legolas, I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow."  
Throwing on his leggings and tunic he remained barefoot, 
carrying his boots, and walked to where the Mirkwood Elf 
stood.  He pulled the Elf to him with one arm around his 
waist and caught Legolas' lips with his own.  When they 
parted, Legolas' eyes searched his face, looking for any 
sign of something being amiss.  Finding none, the Elf 
smiled, and with a final glance at Haldir, Estel turned and 
walked away.

The next day Estel said his goodbyes to Galadriel and 
Celeborn, thanking them for their hospitality, and to 
Rumil, and began the long trek out of the city.  Haldir and 
Legolas were nowhere to be seen and he could wait no longer 
if he wanted to cover any kind of distance that day.  At 
noon he came to the edge of the wood and after walking for 
a few minutes turned for one final look.  And he saw them, 
two figures standing at the edge of the wood, watching him.  
He lifted his hand in greeting and saw some sort of 
exchange pass between them, before one of them began to 
make his way to where the man waited.

Estel watched the fluid grace of the Elf's movements as he 
approached, the sun glinting off his blonde hair, turning 
it golden.  With a sigh he wondered if the Elf would always 
be able to affect him as he was now.  All he had to do was 
walk toward him and Estel felt as if the world had stopped 
spinning.

"Legolas," he said, "I thought you and Haldir had gone on 
watch, or else I would not have left without saying 
farewell."

"I decided that Haldir needed to take a day off, and 
although he was reluctant at first I finally managed to 
persuade him,"  Legolas said, smiling, then laughed as 
Estel replied dryly, "I can imagine."

Legloas suddenly grew serious, his eyes fixed on the man's 
face in an intense gaze.

"You surprise me, Estel," he said softly.  "I do not know 
if I could have done it."

"It was not easy, Legolas, the temptation of you both 
almost swayed me, but in the end I had no choice.  I will 
not be the cause of his destruction."

"You are wise beyond your years, Estel," Legolas whispered 
as he took the man's face in both his hands, leaning in to 
brush their lips together.  "An-band, melethron.  (Be safe, 
lover.) If you ever have need of either of us, just send 
word and no matter the distance, or how great the peril, we 
will answer your call."

"Thank you, my Prince,"  Estel whispered and they looked at 
each other for a long moment.  "Namärie, Legolas. 
(Farewell, Legolas)."

"Namärie,"

With a final wave of his hand toward the figure standing in 
the distance, Estel turned and walked away.  

It was many, many years later that he finally stood at the 
border of Lothlorien again, and he was no longer Estel 
then.  Somewhere along the way his destiny had overtaken 
him and forced on him a new identity as the road he 
travelled veered further and further away from his heart.

End.



Title:  Immortal Love, Immortal Peril;  Epilogue
Author (including email):  Eirien Rhovan  
greenleafs_maiden@hotmail.com
Pairing(s):  Haldir/Aragorn/Legolas
Rating:  NC-17
Summary:  Set after The Return of the King.  Aragorn and 
Legolas return to their beginning at the end.
Archive:  Library of Moria & TTFF, Yes; All others please 
ask first
Disclaimer:  The One Ring made me do it. 
Author's Note:  Those who have not read Pts 1 - 5 may not 
understand this.  I also shamelessly stole a line from the 
movie 'Gladiator', so please forgive me for the small 
crossover.  Those of you who have seen the movie will know 
which one. 
Feedback:  Please.

Many thanks to my beta, Caz, for her encouragement.  :)


Legolas was worried.  The man should not have travelled 
this distance, not at his age.  Even though he had not once 
complained Legolas knew that the journey must have been 
taking its toll.  When Aragorn had announced that he was 
making a tour of his realm, both Legolas and Arwen had 
strenuously advised against it, but he had stubbornly 
ignored their protests and would not be swayed.  It had 
been too long since his subjects had seen him, he had 
declared, and he would not allow something so trivial as 
old age to deter him.

Not that Aragorn looked his age.  He was approaching 200 
years old but had kept his body lean, practising with his 
sword almost everyday, even during the long peaceful years 
of his reign.  His face still held its regal bearing with 
very few wrinkles, only lines of wisdom marring its 
perfection, framed by thick dark hair sprinkled lightly 
with grey.  Lucky for him, Legolas thought, and then 
allowed himself a wry smile as he added, lucky for me.  The 
man could still draw moans of desire from him when he 
wished, even though the times when they shared their bodies 
with each other were few and far between now. 

So it was that the King and the Elf found themselves here, 
further north than Legolas would have liked, inside the 
woods of old Lothlorien.  Earlier that morning Aragorn had 
ordered the small retinue of guards accompanying them to 
wait while he entered the forest.  The guards had shifted 
uneasily, obviously not willing to disobey their King, but 
neither were they completely happy about the situation.  
Legolas had to admit that he agreed with the men on this 
occasion.  One brave soldier managed to find the courage to 
voice their concerns and finally Aragorn had thrown his 
hands up in despair and asked if they were staging a 
mutiny.  When the question was met with horrified 
expressions he had grabbed his pack and stalked off into 
the wood, calling back over his shoulder that he would 
return before nightfall.  Legolas had spent a few moments 
quietly reassuring the guards that all will be well before 
he had quickly followed the man, falling into place at his 
side.

He did not like this place, not now.  The trees spoke to 
him of their grief, and where as they had once stood tall 
and proud, they were now bowed, as if their sorrow weighed 
them down.  This forest had once been alive with the sound 
of birds and woodland creatures, filled with the light of 
the Elves who had made their home here.  All were gone now, 
leaving the trees to their fate, and as the man and the Elf 
made their way through familiar but overgrown, paths 
Legolas felt a shiver run down his spine.  Why are we here, 
Aragorn? he thought.  We can find nothing in this place 
except ghosts.

They walked into the heart of the wood, not speaking, and 
Legolas felt his uneasiness grow with every step.  At last 
they paused in a small clearing and Aragorn looked up and 
turned, as if gathering his bearings.  With a small shock 
Legolas realised that they now stood in what had once been 
the heart of the city of Lňrien.  Long ago this had been a 
wide expanse of light and air, filled with brightly covered 
pavilions.  Now it was dark and wild and dreary.  Looking 
up he was not surprised to see that the talans used by the 
Elves still remained.  He knew the craftsmanship used to 
build them would withstand for many years to come.  
Suddenly the man started walking again and Legolas sighed 
sadly, following.

Eventually Aragorn stopped at the base of a large mallorn 
tree and Legolas came up behind him, placing a hand on his 
shoulder.

"What are we doing here, Aragorn?" he whispered.  Holding 
on to the Elf's hand Aragorn sighed.

"I do not have many years left to me, Legolas," he said 
softly.  "I wanted to come here one last time.  To see it 
once more.  Maybe it was a mistake, but it is done now."  
Legolas leaned his head to rest against the man's, sighing 
his name, and they stood that way for a long moment before 
Aragorn broke the silence.

"This was his tree."

With a start Legolas realised that Aragorn was right.  
Looking up he saw Haldir's talan just as it always was, 
waiting for its owner who would never return.  His sharp 
Elvish eyes saw something else as well and an idea suddenly 
struck him.

"Do you want to go up?"  he asked, but did not wait for an 
answer as he began to climb the tree effortlessly.  It took 
but a few moments to reach his target and he saw that his 
eyes had not deceived him.  At the entrance of the talan, 
hanging slightly over the edge, as if in silent invitation, 
was a ladder.  He dropped the free end down the side and 
looked over the edge, watching as the man hesitantly began 
to ascend.

They walked into the talan together, waiting just inside 
the door.  All was as if Haldir expected to return at any 
moment.  Along one wall was his bed, carefully made up with 
a small table beside it.  Above the bed hung an ancient 
bow, made during the first age of Middle Earth and given to 
Haldir by Lady Galadriel as a gift.  Next to the bow was a 
window, placed to allow the first rays of dawn to enter the 
room.  Along the wall opposite the door stood two chairs 
and a table, upon which a few items rested.  The only other 
remaining furniture was a small chest that had housed 
Haldir's clothing and personal items.  It was unlocked now 
and Aragorn and Legolas both knew it would be empty.  
Covering all was the thick layer of more than 100 years 
worth of dust.  Their entry had disturbed the dust, which 
now floated lazily in the air, creating a misty, almost 
dream-like atmosphere.

The pair moved further into the room cautiously, almost 
reverently, and Legolas crossed the floor to inspect the 
items on the table.

"A bottle of miruvor, probably the last in Middle Earth," 
he murmured picking up the flask before something else 
caught his eye, "And a letter... addressed to you."

"What?"  Aragorn exhaled, disbelieving.

"See for yourself."

Suddenly the air around Aragorn seemed heavy and he felt 
his pulse quicken, as he gingerly stepped towards the 
table.  He almost expected Haldir to leap in from the 
window and laugh at him for being so hesitant.  Legolas had 
found a clean cloth and was wiping the dust from two 
glasses that had been placed next to the wine.  Aragorn 
could do nothing except stare at the folded parchment, as 
if it was some sort of holy relic too fragile to touch.

"Well?  Aren't you going to read it?"  Legolas asked, as he 
poured the drinks.

Aragorn watched as his hand reached out as if it had a mind 
of its own and picked up the letter.  With a quick glance 
toward Legolas, who, he noted, had spread the cloth 
fastidiously on the seat before sitting on one of the 
chairs, he slowly unfolded the piece of paper as he sat in 
the other chair.  He was a little disconcerted to notice 
that his hands trembled slightly as he did so.  He was 
exceptionally glad when his voice remained steady as he 
read aloud.

"Aragorn of the Dúnedain, son of Arathorn, King of Gondor 
and Arnor, Elessar, Strider; I, Haldir o Lórien, humbly 
greet you." 

Both the man and the Elf smiled at the use of the names, 
knowing the manner in which Haldir would have used the 
titles.

"If you are reading this it means that I have made my final 
journey to the Grey Havens and you have come for one last 
look of our fair wood.  It also means that I have won a bet 
I made with Rumil when I said that your sentimental human 
heart would make you unable to resist the temptation of 
entering my private chamber a final time.  Rest assured 
that I will claim my prize, whatever that may be, in an 
appropriate and humble manner, as is my way."

"Poor Rumil,"  Legolas said, laughing as he took a sip of 
the miruvor.  Aragorn smiled as he swallowed a mouthful of 
the wine also, savouring the sweet taste.

"I know Legolas will be with you now, as he has been since 
you began your long journey to become the man you became, 
and I leave you a bottle of our finest wine to share.  I 
hope you enjoy it, as it is surely the last left in the 
whole of Middle Earth by now.

It has always been to my everlasting regret that I was 
never able to tell you what our time together meant to me, 
what you meant to me, and although I do not wish to open 
any old wounds I would tell you now.  

First of all, a little of the history that is Legolas and 
I.  We had been lovers for many centuries before I met you.  
He was always too emotional for an Elf, and a Prince, had 
such an enthusiasm for life and everything in it, and of 
course, he is far too beautiful for his own good.  I was 
immediately drawn to that beauty and passion, as are all 
who meet him, and he stole my heart without even trying."

Aragorn looked up to see Legolas gazing off into the 
distance, his eyes dark with emotion, and the man knew he 
was remembering those days.

"Then you came into my life, wild and full of youthful 
abandon, like a tempest, and before I knew it I was riding 
the storm with you.  I found myself unable to resist you, 
and against the council of Rumil, I gave in to temptation, 
and apart from a few uneasy moments when I feared for your 
mortal life, I never looked back from that decision.  I saw 
the strength in you, the compassion, the love and passion 
that seemed to flow from your every pore and I envied you 
the ability to express and feel those emotions, as I could 
not.  Never before had I felt that I could throw away all I 
held dear, but there was a time when I almost did, Estel."

Aragorn felt his heart ache at the mention of the name of 
his youth, his mind filled with memories of Haldir calling 
it.

"If you had asked it of me I would have abandoned myself to 
my emotions and followed you wherever you led.  I thought 
it was not possible for me to love you any more than I did, 
but when you released me, gave me your unconditional love 
and allowed me to follow my own path, I discovered that I 
was wrong.  I never loved you more than I did at that 
moment, and I have carried that love with me ever since and 
will do so for all eternity."

Aragorn paused as Legolas got up and walked over to window 
and stood with his back to the room, his hand clasped 
behind him.  He had no idea what the Elf was thinking but 
knew he himself was having trouble controlling his 
emotions.  He took another sip of his drink before 
resuming.

"Our time together was all too brief, Estel, but I will 
always be thankful for it.  I feel blessed to have known 
your love, and Legolas' love, and even though your time on 
Earth will some day come to an end, know this - you will 
live on forever in the hearts of two Elves.

Finally, tell Legolas that I will await him in the Grey 
Havens, constantly on watch for the day when I see his ship 
sailing toward me, and there he shall find his reward for 
keeping his promise to me so faithfully.

Im meleth le, Estel.

Yours always,

Haldir"

They did not move for several minutes, each lost in their 
own thoughts, then Aragorn carefully folded the parchment 
and placed it in his pocket.  The wine forgotten, he 
crossed the room to where Legolas stood and snaked his arms 
around the Elf, and felt his hands come up to hold his arms 
to his chest.

"He made you promise to watch over me, didn't he?"  he 
whispered.

"Ai, Aragorn, but it was a promise I was glad to make.  I 
love you and I will not be parted from you until I am 
forced to."

"Remember that night by the river, Legolas?  The night you 
and I became lovers for the first time?"  Aragorn waited 
for the Elf to nod before continuing.  "Afterward, when you 
were bathing, Haldir and I talked and I told him that I 
loved him enough to let him go.  The same holds true for 
you, Legolas.  You have been my steadfast ally, my most 
loyal supporter and constant companion, and I know I would 
not have travelled thus far without you, without your love.  
I told Haldir that the two of you belonged together and you 
do.  I release you from your promise, Legolas; you have 
kept it well.  Now go to him."  After a pause he quietly 
added, "I envy you...  I envy him."

Legolas turned in his arms, and Aragorn saw the Elf had 
been weeping.  He reached up to wipe away the last tears 
gently before placing a light kiss on the Elf's lips.

"I will, Aragorn," Legolas whispered, "But not yet.  Not 
yet."

With that he reached for the man's hand and led him toward 
the bed.  He slowly turned down the blanket to reveal the 
clean sheet beneath and turned the pillows over so that 
their dusty side was beneath them, and pulled the man onto 
the bed beside him.  They made love slowly, but not without 
passion, the warm afternoon sun slanting in through the 
window, both feeling the presence of a third.

Afterward, when they lay in each other's arms, knowing they 
should begin to make their way back to the waiting guards 
before a search party was sent out, but neither willing to 
move just yet, Aragorn turned to Legolas.

"Have you made any other promises I should know about, 
melethron?"

Legolas laughed and replied, "Nay, meleth-nin, I have but 
one promise yet to keep, but it does not involve you or 
Haldir."

Intrigued, Aragorn rose up on one elbow to regard the Elf, 
one eyebrow raised in silent question.

"Gimli."  Legolas said, a slight smile playing about his 
lips.  "I promised to visit his 'glorious' glittering 
caves."  When Aragorn laughed he added, "But never fear, I 
could not resist the temptation to torture the dwarf a 
little and made him promise to allow me to show him all the 
delights of Fangorn Forest in return for his generosity."

The both laughed out loud at this, feeling light of heart, 
their ghosts laid to rest, and rose to dress.  Taking the 
last of the wine with them they left the talan and Legolas 
waited until the man reached the ground before pulling up 
the ladder and carefully hiding it away.  It was not likely 
that any traveller would come this deep into the forest, 
but he did not want to take any chances.  Then he joined 
Aragorn and they retraced their steps, hand in hand, back 
to the world outside.

Once along the way they heard a single bird singing, 
breaking the silence of the wood.

"It sings for you, Legolas,"  Aragorn said quietly and 
Legolas squeezed his hand, smiling.  "Do you think it will 
stay, and its kin will join it, filling Lothlorien with 
song as it once was?"

"Perhaps, Aragorn, perhaps,"  Legolas replied, not really 
believing it to be so; the birds heard and felt the same as 
he did, the sorrow of the trees.

"I hope so," the man murmured.

********

Ten years later, Aragorn died, and Legolas was at his side, 
his companion to the last.  On the morning of his 
departure, before he left Minis Tirith for the final time, 
Legolas made his way to the throne room and stood for a 
long time gazing at something on the wall above the twin 
thrones, tears streaming down his face.  A bow hung there, 
an ancient weapon from the first age of Middle Earth, once 
a gift from a great lady to her faithful Captain, now a 
symbol of the alliance that had once existed between men 
and Elves.

"Not long now, my love," he whispered through his tears, 
his voice full of grief and longing.  "I promise."  Then he 
turned and walked away, riding off to search for his friend 
and inspect his beloved caves.  

While the dwarf and the Elf made their journey word reached 
them that the Lady Arwen had passed away and Legolas knew 
his time had come.  After he had made a grumbling Gimli 
keep his promise to go through Fangorn Forest, Legolas at 
last travelled for the final time through Middle Earth to 
the sea.  He made a boat, for none were left to him now, 
and set sail for the Grey Havens, for the eternal light of 
the Valinor.

After what seemed like an eternity he at last heard a sweet 
sound through the sea mist.  The Elves on the bank were 
singing to him in greeting, and his heart soared.  He was 
home at last.  Then, as if by magic, the mists parted and 
he saw all his kin lined up to meet him.  He leapt from the 
boat and embraced all of those he had missed so keenly in 
the long years since they had left Middle Earth.  Then he 
saw him, standing slightly apart from the rest, a smile 
fixed on his face, his indigo eyes burning with love and 
desire.  Legolas broke free from the embraces of the others 
and slowly walked to where Haldir stood, waiting for him.

"Meleth-nin, you have come at last,"  Haldir said as he 
opened his arms.

Legolas fell into the embrace, weeping from sheer joy, then 
lifted his head and caught Haldir's lips in a fierce kiss.  
When they broke apart, breathless, Haldir laughed.  

"I have missed you too, Legolas, and now we have all 
eternity to make up for lost time, melethron."  Then 
Legolas saw Haldir's eyes narrow slightly as he added, "But 
did you have to bring the dwarf?"

THE END