Title: A Bond of Brothers 
Chapter One - Stormclouds
Author: Oakenshield (Oakenshield@lonelymountain.zzn.com)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Elladan/Elrohir
Warnings/Spoilers: Incest
Archive: Anyone who wants it is welcome to have it, just let me know first.
Disclaimer: The characters and the places all belong to J.R.R. Tolkien, and I
am making no profit from this at all.
Summary: After 2000 years of denial, Elladan and Elrohir rekindle their love.

------

Chapter One -Storm Clouds


Imladris
Year 2495 of the 3rd Age


"So much grey sky. Where is the blue? It is like smoke, but it is too light.
No, it is like foam! I imagine it to be like sea foam, in the way it rolls and
catches the sun. Do you not think?"

"You are no poet, Elrohir!" Elladan dropped down in the grass at his brother's
side, propping his weight on his elbow and cupping his chin in his hand. 

Elrohir squinted up at the sky, raising a hand to shield his eyes from the
glare of the summer sun. "Well, what do you think they are?" he asked.

"Clouds," Elladan answered flatly, chewing the end of a blade of grass, "and it
looks like rain."

Elrohir swiped at his shoulder. "And you have no imagination."

"That one is a bear," Elladan said, pointing to a dark cloud that caught the
sunlight on the edges, giving it the shape of a squat four-legged beast. 

"I thought it was a sheep," Elrohir said, turning his head one way then the
other, studying the shape. "Hmm." He reached for the water bottle and took a
drink from it before offering it to Elladan. "This weather is ghastly. I do
wish the clouds would either break or let the sun out rather than merely hang
there oppressing the air." He pulled his sweat-dampened shirt away from his
neck and huffed. 

Elladan jumped to his feet and held out his hand with a wicked grin across his
face. "Then let us go and cool down."

Elrohir took his hand and let himself be pulled to his feet, frowning all the
while. "Pardon?" 

"In the river. Come." Still holding his hand, Elladan led the way through the
dry knee-high grass to the edge of the ravine.

Still frowning, Elrohir looked down at the steep bank of rocks bordering dark
water where two streams met to form a pool. It was impossible to judge the
depth and he was less than certain about jumping into it. 

"It is quite safe," Elladan assured him, kicking off his shoes and taking a
careful step down the bank. "I am going in anyway, I am roasting." Losing his
footing on a loose stone, he gave a cry and lurched backwards with his arms
flailing.

"Elladan!" Elrohir leaped forward and grabbed the back of his brother's shirt
only to be met with merry laughter. 

Elladan grinned back at him. "Oh you scare so easily!"

Elrohir released the grip on his idiotic brother's shirt and placed his hand
against his pounding heart in an attempt to still it. "Are you trying to kill
me?" he gasped.
 
"I would never dare." With a devilish smile, Elladan leapt from the topmost
rock and hit the water with a loud splash. 

He always had to do it. He always had to prove he was stronger, braver and
generally better than Elrohir. Elrohir knew deep down that he was but he would
never tell him so. 

"Yes, Elladan, you are so clever!" he called down. "Drown yourself to prove
your point." He peered at the water as the ripples ceased their flow. He
couldn't see his brother. "All right, you can come up now." Holding onto the
edges of the rocks, he picked his way down the bank. "Elladan, come up now,
this isn't funny." Anxiety pulled at his heart as he scrambled quickly down the
last few feet, not caring about his own safety.  Perhaps Elladan had fallen
onto hidden rocks? Or the cold had stolen his breath away. Or the water had
been shallower than it looked and he'd broken his neck. "Elladan!" he cried,
unable to stop his voice coming out as a panicked shriek.

Elladan emerged, spraying water. "Jump in, you lily-livered little elf!" 

Elrohir leaned his weight back against the warm rocks, feeling weak in the
knees. "You are mad!" He didn't know whether to laugh with relief or shout at
him.
 
"You are standing there sweating, I would not say *I * was the mad one,"
Elladan countered, wading to the edge, where the water lapped around his waist.
The thin shirt clung to him like a second skin, adding accent to every muscle.
His hair hung down his back and over his shoulders like a dark river against
the white of his shirt. Water clung to his eyelashes and made his skin glisten. 

It took Elrohir a moment to realise he was dumbly staring. He was faintly aware
of Elladan speaking to him, but the words weren't connecting with his brain.
The only sense working was his eyes, and they were occupied drinking in the
sight before him. 

A splash of water hit his cheek. 

"Elrohir?" Elladan grinned up at him. "Where are you?" He stretched to pull the
wet shirt from his back.

Fully aware that he was still gaping, but unable to stop himself, Elrohir
mentally chastised himself. He wondered if he looked just the same when
dripping wet. He supposed he must, and that shamed him into composing himself.
  
"Sorry?" he gulped. 

"I said are you coming in?" Elladan peeled the shirt off with some effort. "Or
do I have to pull you in? Really, the water is lovely." 
 
"Yes I am coming in," he answered somewhat shakily, bending down to pull off
his shoes. "But I have the sense to undress first so I don't arrive home
dripping through the halls!" He could hear that his laughter sounded
pathetically artificial but he had to try to act normal. He always had to act
*normal* however abnormal he was feeling. But he wasn't as good at it as he had
once been. 

Blindness suddenly struck him in the shape of something cold, wet and white
wrapping around his face and sticking to his skin like glue. He panicked for a
moment then realised it was Elladan's shirt, obviously thrown by his impatient
brother. Before he could remove it, he felt strong arms wrap around his legs,
pulling, then cold water engulfed him. He could hear Elladan laughing as he
surfaced, spluttering and gasping. He aimed a slap, but ever one step ahead of
him, Elladan had begun a rapid front crawl away from him.

"Come back!" Elrohir swam after him, grabbing him by the hair.
 
"Ow!" Elladan cried. "Pulling my hair, indeed! Elrohir, you shame me! Arwen
fights better than you do!" He spun around, tackling Elrohir by the waist and
throwing him back in the water. "You fight no better than a girl."

"Take that back!" Elrohir splashed water at him, laughing merrily, glad that
the uncomfortable moment had passed.

Elladan danced around him, poking at his ribs, keeping out of reach of his
slaps. "Not until you give me reason to!" he teased. 

A low rumbling above their heads interrupted their foolery and they both looked
up at the charcoal sky. Elrohir swallowed hard and lowered his gaze from
Elladan. The sound of thunder always stirred him and awoke memories he wished
to stay sleeping. Sweet memories of virgin kisses, of tender caresses; the
excitement of forbidden passion, the disgrace of illicit coupling. The strain
of centuries of secrecy, the pain of denial. He could never remove the images
from his mind, however hard he tried to... Elladan's face contorted in newfound
pleasures, mirroring his own, the cries that had filled the room masked only by
the mercy of the storm. The sounds and scents and sensations all carried on the
sultry air of thunder.
 
"I told you it was going to rain," Elladan said softly, not carrying the tone
of triumph that 
Elrohir would have normally expected.
 
"Yes." Elrohir shook himself, avoiding the strange look Elladan was fixing on
him. He knew his twin knew his thoughts, and likely shared them, but neither
would mention it. They had kept the Promise not to speak of it again. "Perhaps
we should head home," he suggested. "Though I doubt we will make it back in
time."

"We cannot get any wetter!" Elladan laughed, splashing him again. 

Elrohir turned his head to avoid the spray. "Still, we do not want to be struck
by lightning," he said, swimming back towards the bank. "We should find
somewhere to shelter. Thunderstorms can be dangerous things."

"Indeed," Elladan agreed, following him. "Thunderstorms have got us in quite
terrible trouble before." His voice grew faint half way through the sentence,
but for some reason only known to himself, he felt obliged to finish it anyway.

Elrohir halted half way into pulling himself up on the rocks. Years upon years
it had lain buried between them, now Elladan was pulling it up with flippancy.
"We said we would never speak of it again," he hissed, resisting the urge to
turn around and slap his brother's face, "let alone joke about it! Just the
*thought* of what we did fills me with so much shame I could die!" He could
feel the colour rising in his cheeks.

"I am sorry," Elladan said quietly, laying a hand on his shoulder. "I did not
think." 

Warm hands against his skin… He shook the memories from his head once more.
"Well, do not think about it again!" He pulled himself up on the rocks, knowing
that his wet clothes would betray his awakening arousal, but hoping Elladan
would be polite enough not to draw attention to the fact. 

"It was not entirely bad," Elladan ventured cautiously as he followed him up
the bank.

Elrohir spun on his heel. "Shut up!" As if he was in a daze, as if his hand was
working under its own control, he struck his brother across the face. Not a
slap, or even a light blow. A punch.

Elladan reeled back stunned, raising a hand to the red mark spreading across
his cheek.

Elrohir stared at his hand, unable to believe that it had just caused pain to
his twin, who he had never raised a hand to in malice in his life. "I am
sorry!" He enfolded him in a hug. "Elladan, I'm sorry!" 
 
"Well," Elladan breathed, stretching his jaw to test its movement. "I suppose I
do have to take back what I said about you fighting like a girl."

Elrohir felt sick. "I am so sorry!" He cupped his brother's face in his hands
and kissed his cheek. "Did I hurt you? Please forgive me, Elladan, I would not
deliberately hurt you for anything!" He felt his insides tense as he instantly
recognised his echo of Elladan's words to him that night. He dared to look into
his brother's face.

Elladan gave a rueful smile. "Nor I you," he whispered, reaching out to tuck a
stray lock of hair behind Elrohir's ear.

Elrohir closed his eyes as he felt his body start to tingle in response to
Elladan brushing his fingertips against the sensitive point of his ear. He was
wavering between pulling away and leaning in when the sky growled again and a
large spot of rain hit his cheek. 

"Come this way!" he heard Elladan shout, and when he opened his eyes, he saw
him running. He dashed after him, following him up the bank to a stretch of
overhanging rock. "We can shelter here, the rain is driving in the opposite
direction." Elladan crawled into the hollow under the low hanging ledge and
shifted over to allow his brother room. 

Elrohir sat down beside him and drew his knees up against his chest as he
shivered. "I wish we had not gone in that river now."
 
"Cold?" Elladan held out his arm to offer the warmth of a hug.

Elrohir shook his head. "I am all right." He tried to tell himself it was only
a hug, like any other hug, but at that moment he didn't trust himself not to
make it into something more, even if only in his mind.  
 
"Please yourself." Elladan shrugged, adopting the same pose and hugging his
shins. 
 
"How long do you think the rain will last?" Elrohir asked softly as
distraction.

"Years," Elladan quipped. "Really, how am I supposed to know?"

Elrohir looked at him straight-faced. "And here I was under the impression that
you knew *everything*." He ducked in anticipation of the playful slap Elladan
aimed at his head.

"In answer to your earlier question," Elladan said, "I rather like to think the
clouds are ghosts of dragons. The sunlight keeps them at bay, but when the rain
comes along they get angry and start to roar."

"But dragons like gold," Elrohir argued. "Surely they would be more attracted
to the sun?" He relaxed, leaning closer to Elladan, but not close enough to
touch. Though apparently pushed aside, the moments before were still a little
near for his comfort.

"They are Balrogs then!" Elladan laughed. "Have we not had this argument
before?"

Elrohir nodded, laughing. "What is it with you and me and thunderstorms?" He
regretted his words as soon as they were out.

A tense moment of silence passed before Elladan shifted closer to him and
leaned against his shoulder. "You may not be cold but I am." 

Elrohir could see the goosebumps crawling over his twin's skin. He recalled a
time he had seen that happen for very different reasons when Elladan's skin had
been aflame but he chased the thought away before it could grip him. "If you
are cold, I must say that it serves you right." He slid his arm around his
brother's shoulders, resisting the urge to stroke the cold bare flesh to warm
it. He rested his cheek on top of Elladan's head, sniffing as his wet hair
tickled his nose. 

Long moments they sat in silence, as they often did, content just to be in the
presence of each other. But Elrohir wasn't content, and he longed for idle
conversation, but he could not think of anything to say.

Elladan beat him to it. "Isn't it odd how history repeats itself, Elrohir?" he
said. "It feels like it is laughing at us."

The evermore-familiar feeling of the knotting in his stomach returned. "Hush,"
he whispered in a strained croak. "Please, Elladan, we should not talk about
it."

Elladan raised his head to look at him. "So you keep saying, but perhaps we
should."
 
"No," he said firmly. "The more we talk about it, the more we think about it
and the more..." 
He bit his tongue.

"The more what?" Elladan questioned.

/'The more I want to do it again,'/ Elrohir voiced silently to himself.
"Nothing," he said. "But please shut up about it now." 

He silently cursed Elladan as cruel memories taunted his mind and his heart.
And he cursed himself for allowing them to. He wondered why Elladan wanted to
drag it all up again now. Why now after so long? He supposed the memories
brought on by the storm were as strong for his brother as they were for
himself, and he wasn't sure if that made him feel better or worse. 

It made it more difficult knowing that Elladan was probably feeling the same
way as he was, probably fighting the same war with his conscience. It made it
easier for it to all happen again. He was well aware of how easily it could
happen again. Maybe now, while they sought warmth in each other's arms, as they
were tucked away under the rocks with only the rain as a witness.

"Do not look so pensive," he heard Elladan say, as if he were far away and not
an inch from his ear. 

Elrohir didn't answer, choosing rather to look ahead at the heavy curtain of
rain. He couldn't look at Elladan a moment longer for he knew his eyes would
betray his feelings. 

"Elrohir, will you not look at me?" Though spoken as a question it was not a
request. "Have I upset you?" Elladan reached up to touch his cheek.

"No." Elrohir instinctively turned his face into the caress. "No, it's just…"
His words trailed off as he tried to figure out how to get himself out of
telling the truth. He saw a shift in his brother's set features and he knew
trying to protest his desire would be futile. For the first time in his life,
he hated the way that they were so close they knew each other's thoughts.
Normally he liked it, but normally there were never secrets between them. 

Elladan sat back from him, so fiercely that the rocks must have grazed his
back. "Well, a fine hypocrite you are, I must say!" he spat.

Elrohir sat rigidly, avoiding his twin's gaze, listening to the thrum of the
rain and the thud of his heart. "It is your fault for bringing old feelings to
the surface!" he suddenly cried, if only to break the silence. "Let me remind
you who said we should talk about it." Trying to lay all the blame on his
brother made him feel no better, for he knew he was just as guilty. Probably
more so.

Elladan gave a staggered laugh, that carried irony rather than humour. "*Talk*
about it, yes! Not act upon it!" 

"I was not going to act upon it!" Elrohir hastily argued.

Elladan looked askance at him.  "You want to though. Your tense posture shows
me as much even though it prevents your groin from doing so."

Elrohir blushed, though whether it was from his brother's frank words or his
own shame he was not sure. "Do not be so crude!"

"You deny it?" Elladan arched an eyebrow.

Elrohir buried his face in his hands, just to escape that gaze for a moment. "I
do not know why this is happening! Perhaps it is the storm, perhaps you talking
about it, perhaps a combination of it all, but I cannot help myself! I cannot
stop myself!"
  
"You are more than old enough to control your body." Elladan looked frostily at
him. Elrohir, we have ignored this for a long time and we can continue to do
so, as you made me swear to," he reminded him. He spoke in a tone low with
restrained anger. "You want us to do it again? Is that what you want? You want
us to make love? To become lovers? Or do you want another clumsy spell of
groping in the dark before telling me we must pretend it never happened? I
cannot do that again Elrohir. I will not have you reject me again! If your body
wants release go and find it with someone else, but do not use me again," his
voice cracked and he looked away, clenching his lips tightly together.

Elrohir felt tears prickle in his eyes. He never realised he had hurt his
brother so much. Elladan had hidden his pain well, even from him. "I have never
used you." He laid a hesitant hand on his forearm. 

Elladan wrenched his arm away. "Yes you did! You used me that night."

"I did not!" Elrohir quickly protested, rising to his knees to move closer to
Elladan. "I was confused, I was scared. You hurt me."
  
"I didn't mean to. I did not know what I was doing, and neither did you. You
cannot use that as an excuse." He summoned a breath and turned to look Elrohir
in the eyes. "The truth is you were a coward, and you still are. You took what
you wanted from me then you told me we should put it down to confused feelings
and adolescent lust and you walked out on me. Now over two millennia later, you
tell me this. How am I to believe you?" Though he was raging, his eyes didn't
convey anger. Only hurt. 
  
"Because I love you!" Elrohir shouted at him, wanting in the only way he could
to stop his twin's pain. "I love you, and more than I should, and I don't think
my heart can ever be whole without you! That is the truth! There, I have said
it! Are you happy now?" He sank back, breathing hard, trying to comprehend what
he had so suddenly blurted out.

Elladan blinked at him. "The truth?" he whispered.

Elrohir nodded. "Yes." He was trembling, but the weight of the secret was
finally lifted from his heart and he felt lighter than he had in centuries.

Elladan sighed, running his hands back through his hair to push it from his
face. "Your confession grieves me as much as it relieves me, dear brother." He
shifted to face him. "If you forgive me for confessing this, the truth is…" He
closed his eyes and struggled to find words before they all came out in a rush.
"The truth is I want you, and I have only kept silent to keep our oath. You
left a gap in my heart that night, Elrohir, that no other has been able to
fill. And believe me I have tried. I have tried to fight my heart. I have taken
many lovers; I must have bedded every whore in Bree and had to force my body to
respond to them. Then when I accepted that women did nothing for me I gave in
to that urge and took men, all skilled in the arts of lovemaking who made my
body feel on fire, but none were able to warm my heart the way you did." 

"What now?" Elrohir whispered, realising the enormity of the situation. His
hasty words had changed their lives forever and there was no way of going back
on it this time. "We cannot lock this away and pretend it isn't there."

Elladan looked doubtfully at him. "And when someone finds out? Arwen? Father?
Mother? What then? You will run, as you always do."

Elrohir nearly cried as his brother voiced his doubt in him. He knew he was a
coward, and he knew he probably would run. But he also knew that he wanted
Elladan more than anything else, and it was time to admit it aloud. "Not this
time, Elladan. Not now." He smiled and took his brother's hand, interlacing
their fingers. He leaned in for a kiss as Elladan titled his head towards him. 

Their lips touched shyly, lighter than breeze, then Elladan looped his arms
around the back of Elrohir's neck and pulled him in closer crushing his mouth
in a bruising kiss, parting his lips with a swipe of his tongue. Tongues
duelled, and lips clashed against teeth, drawing blood.  The kiss was
desperate, zealous, impulsive, but there would be plenty of time to learn each
other's mouths another time. For the moment, they craved only the taste and
feel of each other that centuries had failed to steal, familiar even after so
long.  

Elrohir pulled back, breathless. "But we must be careful not to be caught," he
said, forcing a modicum of reason back into his passion-addled mine. "No one
must know of this."

"I actually thought about shouting it from the rooftops!" Elladan smirked. "No,
forgive my sarcasm, you are right. No one must know but us." With a wide grin,
he pushed Elrohir onto his back and straddled him. "But no one can see us here,
can they?"