Title: A Bond of Brothers 
Chapter Thirteen (a) - Falling Apart
Author: Oakenshield (Oakenshield@lonelymountain.zzn.com)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Elladan/Elrohir, implied Glorfindel/Elrond
Warnings/Spoilers: Incest
Archive: Anyone who wants it is welcome to have it, just let me know first.
Disclaimer: The characters and the places all belong to J.R.R. Tolkien, and I
am making no profit from this at all.
Summary: Glorfindel comforts Elrond and is wrongly accused by Elladan. 

-------

Chapter Thirteen(a) - Falling Apart


Somewhere in the House of Elrond a small clock chimed ten hours of the night,
and Glorfindel listened attentively to its gentle melody as he walked through
the moonlit passage with bare feet, dressed in a cream coloured robe, his
golden hair hanging loose down his back. 

The small bells ringing from the mantelpiece were the only joyful sound in
Imladris these days. No one shouted, no one sang. Things had been quiet for
years, ever since the twins had first run away, but it had never been this
unearthly silent. 

Glorfindel paused for a moment to look through the glass face set in the ornate
silver frame as the second hand slowly moved around, tick by tick by tick. The
time was wrong, he realised. It was somewhere near midnight. The clock was
slowing down. 

Celebrían had been the last to wind it, the morning she had left. Soon it would
stop, and Glorfindel wondered if anyone would bother to wind it again. Nothing
would be the same without Celebrían. She had brought life to this place, she
had brought joy to Elrond, she had brought spring and summer to the valley, and
now she was gone. 

He missed her so much. There had never been a woman so dear to Glorfindel as
Celebrían. She had been his closest friend for centuries, and there had never
been secrets between the two of them. He had always confided in her, and she in
him.

It still made him weep to remember the night she had come to him a month after
she had returned home, when she had been barely strong enough to leave her bed,
to tell him of her discovery of the newest torture of the orcs. He had hidden
his tears at the time, but they had fallen many times since. She should not
have had to suffer any more. 

It still made him sick to think of how he alone had aided her in removing the
foul spawn that had taken up inside her womb, to think how he alone had
poisoned her, held her, soothed her pain, and cleaned up the mess. It was a
secret that Elrond would never know about. Regardless of his promise to
Celebrían that he would not tell anyone, Glorfindel would never have had the
heart to add more pain to Elrond's sorry soul.

Elrond had returned from taking Celebrían to the Havens that evening, and he
had immediately shut himself away in his chambers, looking mournful and
exhausted. Galadriel and Celeborn had journeyed back with him. Celeborn was to
return to Lothlórien once he had rested, but Galadriel intended to stay in
Imladris for a while.

Glorfindel was glad that she was staying. He feared for the state of the family
and the realm now that Celebrían had gone and Elrond was in such a way. Perhaps
Galadriel would be able to support Elrond until he was recovered from his grief
and Glorfindel could hand the responsibility of overseeing Imladris back to
him. Elladan should have had charge of the realm in Elrond's absence, not he.
The duty had been a heavy burden to him, made heavier by the fact that Elladan
had been frequently reminding him that it was not his place.

Arwen had defended him against Elladan's words on more than one occasion and
her support had been a great comfort to him. Even so, Glorfindel knew that she
was afraid for her brothers. She had told him so, and for her sake he had tried
to be patient with them.

Elrohir had been wretchedly miserable since Celebrían had left, and had hardly
spoken to anyone, while Elladan had been more quarrelsome than Glorfindel had
expected. He had hoped that grief might have quelled the elder twin's temper,
but as always, Elladan was hiding his tears behind harsh words.

Despite their moods and detachment, Glorfindel could tell by looking at the
twins together that they had rekindled their love, and he did not wish to be
present when Elrond discovered this. It did not seem like anything could stop
them being together and Glorfindel was ever questioning himself about the
morality of keeping them apart. What was worse? Joining in a bond of love with
a sibling, or tearing apart a love that was so true? He did not have the
answers. He never had.

As far as he was aware, the children did not yet know that their father and
grandparents had returned. Perhaps that was for the best. Elrond would not wish
to be bothered, nor would he wish for his children to see him in such a
dejected state.

He would not want anyone to see him in such a dejected state, but that did not
stop Glorfindel seeking him out. He had seen a single candle burning in the
parlour of the family's quarters and after some amount of debate, he had
decided to follow the light. He was worried about his dear friend, and he did
not think it would do Elrond one bit of good to be left alone. Of course, he
was stubborn and proud and would never ask for comfort, but Glorfindel knew him
well enough to know that he needed it.

He opened the door carefully and looked around it into the room. "My Lord?" he
called out softly. "Elrond? Are you there?"

His soul shuddered as he focussed on the figure of Elrond sitting before a
small table, shaking with silent sobs, his head buried in his folded arms. The
dam had burst and years of repressed sorrow were pouring from him. He had
apparently not heard Glorfindel enter. 

Torn between rushing to his side and leaving just as quietly as he had entered,
Glorfindel stood and fought to contain his own tears. He had seen such a sight
once before, for Gil-galad. He had never hoped to see his friend in such a
pitiful way again. 

His first thought quickly claimed victory as he saw Elrond tense a little and
he realised his presence had been noted. He hurried across the room to him and
crouched beside his chair, gently laying hand on Elrond's trembling shoulder.

"Oh, my dear friend..." he whispered, unable to find any words of comfort to
say. What could he say? What feeble, empty words could possibly offer
consolation to one so full of woe? 

Elrond sobbed anew as Glorfindel gently urged him to lift his head, trying not
to openly baulk as tear-stung grey eyes regarded him with misery. 

"Glorfindel... Ai, Glorfindel, what have I done?"

"Hush," Glorfindel said softly, putting a finger to Elrond's lips to silence
him. "I am here, if you wish me to be," he said, still unsure if his company
was required. "If you want to be alone then I will be dismissed."

"No," Elrond gasped, sniffing. "I do not wish for you to go. I do not wish to
be alone."

"Then you are not," he told him, stroking his dark hair back from his tear-
stained cheeks. "I am with you, as always. Fear not." 

He would always be with him. He was bound to Elrond by the authority of the
Valar, he had returned from death to aid him, and he always would. He had sworn
to serve him, support and comfort him, by means of both his power and his
tenderness. He had sworn to protect Imladris and all friends in and about it.
He had never failed in his task, and he would not now. 

Elrond closed his eyes as sadness emptied shamelessly from them and he leaned
into Glorfindel's hand. Glorfindel whispered soft words of comfort to him,
gently stroking his hand and dabbing the tears from his cheeks with the edge of
his sleeve. Was this what the Lord of Imladris was to be reduced to? Was this
strong hero of legends doomed to become a weeping wreck? He looked lost. He
looked faded. He had always been so beautiful. 

"I am here," Glorfindel assured him again, leaning in to gently lay a kiss
against Elrond's flushed cheek. He could taste his tears against his lips and
he wished he could drink them all if it would take away the pain. He would have
taken all of Elrond's pain into himself if he could. Elrond had already seen
enough sorrow to make him grieve for all eternity.

Elrond shuddered and opened his eyes to look at Glorfindel, turning in his seat
to run a hand into his hair, gripping the golden tresses almost painfully
tightly.

Glorfindel winced a little, but did not pull away or try to remove the hand.
Elrond looked like he had little enough to hold on to. 

A noise at the doorway distracted him for a moment, but he could not tear his
gaze away from Elrond, so deep was the fear of abandonment in his eyes. He
could feel his friend's ragged breath against his face. He felt the wetness of
his own tears against his eyelashes and the bitterness of Elrond's tears was
still upon his lips. Saltwater like the seas Celebrían was crossing.

"You have always been the light in the darkness, Glorfindel," Elrond whispered.
"You are a beacon to guide each and every one of us to safety and each day I
should thank Eru that you are here."

Glorfindel smiled weakly. He seldom heard such compliments and it embarrassed
him. He did not do his duty to earn favours or praise, though what he did went
beyond duty. He did it for love. He did it for Celebrían, who had always been
as a sister to him. He did it for Arwen. He did it for the twins, who he had
never stopped loving, despite their crimes and exile. And how he wished that
all could be well enough so that he did not have to do anything at all.

Once this house had been happy, once the family had been close and loving and
playful. Oh, how he missed those days.

"You have always pulled me out of the depths of my sorrow," Elrond whispered.
"You have always saved me from drowning in my grief."

He blinked and swallowed in an attempt to still his tears, then he turned his
head to capture Glorfindel's lips with his own. Glorfindel gasped and lingered
for a second. He had to pull away, it was not right. His love for Elrond was
not honest, and he felt consumed by guilt every time he let his heart wander,
but not even the hope of a single kiss would make him betray Celebrían and the
children. 

The memories of a night many thousands of years before stabbed deep into his
very core. He had not been strong enough to resist when Elrond, grieving for
Gil-galad and seeking comfort, had blindly kissed him. He had betrayed both
Elrond and himself that night. He had satisfied his own lust and the wounds it
had caused to his heart and conscience had never fully healed. To be purely
selfish for once, he could not do it to himself again. 

"My Lord..." He pressed a hand to Elrond's chest to push him away.

Then the sound that had seemed like a soft footstep came again, followed by a
voice, full of hatred and malice.

"So, you are home, then."

Glorfindel gasped and retracted, cringing in pain as Elrond's hand didn't let
go of his hair immediately. There could not have been a worse person to see
them in such a way. "Elladan!"

Elladan was leaning against the half-open door and smirking, his gaze directed
over Glorfindel's head at Elrond. "Quite a pair aren't we, eh Father?" he said,
before turning and walking out, his head held high and his back tense with
suppressed fury.

Elrond leaned back into his chair, pale in the face, appearing to swiftly
comprehend what he had just done. He looked ashamed and afraid. "That boy will
be the death of me," he whispered.

Glorfindel squeezed his hand and darted after Elladan, chasing him out on to
the corridor. He could not let him go, seeing what he had just seen, without
explaining himself. He would not give Elladan more darts of accusation to fire
at him. 

"Elladan, wait!" he called after him, running to catch him by the shoulder
before he disappeared into his bedchamber. 

"Enjoying yourself there?" Elladan turned sharply to face him with cold hatred
in his eyes.

Glorfindel stared at him for a moment, feeling hurt, then something inside him
cracked. It was not his place to talk to Elladan in such a way, but he could
not help it, it had gone too far this time. 

"Have you any notion of how much pain you are causing your poor father?" he
hissed, using every bit of willpower he had not to shout at him. "Do you wish
to kill him?!" He held Elladan by the arm as he tried to turn away. "Your
mother wanted you and your father to try to make up, but instead you are making
things more difficult than ever. I would see her wishes granted. I promised her
I would take care of things..."

"Oh, did you?" Elladan retorted icily.

"Yes!" he answered. "Elladan, I know I cannot replace her, but..."

"Do you?" Elladan interrupted. "That is good, because you cannot. And if I have
anything to do with it, you *will* not. Do not think that I do not know what
you are about, Glorfindel." He pointed a finger at him. "Do not think I cannot
see how you look at my father."

Glorfindel felt faint. He thought he had always managed to hide his feelings.
"That is absurd," he said in an unsteady voice. 

"Oh you would say that." Elladan looked at him with narrowed eyes. "I can
assure you Glorfindel, I hate Lord Elrond and I hate you, but I love my mother
and I will not see you take him while she is gone." He yanked his arm free and
turned into his bedroom, slamming the door shut in Glorfindel's face.

Glorfindel had more than half a mind to go in after him, but he heard the key
turn in the lock before he could reach to the door handle. With a sigh, he
walked back towards the room where he had left Elrond. Looking after him was
more important than quarrelling with Elladan. He knew that the charges were
false. He knew that his intentions were innocent. He had not spent so many
millennia fighting his heart to be influenced by nothing more than petty, nasty
gossip.

"What was that about?" Erestor melted from the shadows, making Glorfindel
start. "I heard raised voices." He looked down the corridor.

"Elladan," Glorfindel sighed, glancing into the parlour to see that Elrond had
not moved. He did not wish to say any more about his quarrel with Elladan, nor
could he find a way to put it into words.

Erestor nodded in understanding and looked through the door to see that Elrond
wept. "Oh dear..." he sighed.

Glorfindel stepped past him into the room to stand beside Elrond once more. "My
Lord, you are exhausted," he said, helping Elrond to his feet. "You should
rest. Come." He held Elrond firmly as he leaned against him, almost asleep on
his feet. When had he last slept? "Will you help me get him to his room?" he
asked Erestor. 

He was certainly capable of assisting Elrond all by himself, but he did not
wish anything to happen again. He did not trust Elrond not to start something
that they would both regret. He did not trust himself not to finish it. He put
his arm around Elrond's back and let Erestor take his elbow and they led him
down the corridor to his bedchamber.

Elrond looked at the floor as they passed the childrens' rooms, but Glorfindel
could see that he was crying. 

"We are almost there, my Lord," he said softly to him as he stumbled. "Then you
can sleep and for a while forget about the troubles of this day." 


Erestor opened the door to the master bedroom and lit some candles by the
window while Glorfindel lowered Elrond to the edge of the bed and removed his
boots and robe.

"I will make him something to help him sleep," Erestor said, before slipping
out of the room again. 

Glorfindel looked after him, feeling his stomach knot up. He would be strong.
He had to be strong.

"Glorfindel," Elrond whispered, watching Glorfindel's hands as they stripped
his clothes. "Please stay with me."

"I will," Glorfindel told him, leaving him in his leggings and undershirt as he
lowered him back onto the bed.

Elrond reached for his hand. "All night."

"It would not do to fuel Elladan's temper, my Lord," Glorfindel advised as he
covered him with the quilt, avoiding the reaching fingers. 

"What about Elladan?" Elrond asked, lifting tired eyes to Glorfindel's face.
"Please, I do not want to be alone."

Glorfindel smiled at him and touched his cheek. He could not have refused such
a plea for anything in the world. "All right," he gave in. "All right I will
stay."

"Beside me?" Elrond asked. "The bed feels so empty without her."

Glorfindel gulped and took a breath before sitting on the bed beside him, above
the cover, allowing as much space between them as he could afford. "Please do
not try to kiss me again," he requested in a shaking voice. "I took your pain
away the night Gil-galad died, and I have never stopped regretting it. You have
a wife now..."

"And she is gone!"

"She is alive!" Glorfindel reminded him. "She is your wife! Stop this now,
Elrond, or I must leave! You do not want this of me, you only want comfort, and
I will gladly offer it to you in any way that allows both of us to keep our
clothes on. I cannot lie with you, and I do not wish to. The guilt would be too
much for either of us to bear, and I fear it would break you further. Stop it."

Elrond regarded him for a long moment, then settled back with a sigh. "You are
right," he said quietly. "Forgive me, I am being a fool. I would never wish to
compromise you. I do not know what came over me. I am so sorry. I do not even
feel like myself." He rubbed his eyes. "I have made such a mess of everything,
Glorfindel. I have lost my sons and now my wife. Will Arwen leave me also?"
Tears filled his eyes again. "Will you?"

"No, I will never leave you." Glorfindel inched back towards him. "I will
always stay with you." He smoothed Elrond's hair back from his face and kissed
his brow. 

"You are my dearest friend," Elrond told him. "You always have been. You have
always comforted me in my times of need, and equally shared my times of joy,
and for that I love you."

"I know," Glorfindel replied, not wanting him to say any more. Elrond had
always loved him as a friend. Only as a friend. He had long accepted that
nothing more would happen, that nothing more could happen, but it still hurt.

"I know you would not let anything bad happen to us," Elrond said, his resonant
voice hoarse with weariness, "but I am unsure you can help me now. The twins
are beyond hope. And I fear for Arwen."

"I will look after them," he assured him. "And I will look after you." He had
promised Celebrían that he would, and it was his oath to her that he would hold
to, not the temper of Elladan.

"Yes, all of us Glorfindel." Elrond sat up and looked out of the window for
long moments, unblinking, unmoving. "My rule is yours, would you have it," he
eventually said, taking Glorfindel's hand.

As Elrond withdrew his hand, Glorfindel blinked down at his palm to see Vilya
shining there. "No, my Lord, I could not!" he cried, almost dropping the ring
into the sheets. "It is yours and only Elladan's after you. It is not mine to
take!" 

Elrond smiled feebly at him and shook his head. "You would leave a ring of
power in the hands of a madman?" 

"Oh, my dear Elrond, you are not mad!" Glorfindel took him in his arms and
kissed him on the cheek, relief washing through him as Elrond gave his reason
for wanting to give up the ring. It was no light reason, certainly, but
Glorfindel had thought for one awful moment that Elrond intended to follow
Celebrían into the West. The world would not be safe without him, and
Glorfindel did not think himself to be capable of taking Elrond's place. No one
was. If Gil-galad had intended anyone else to guard the land then he would have
given the ring to them. It was surely not only his love for Elrond that had
made the High King pass Vilya into his care. "You are weary with grief, but not
mad." He took Elrond's hand and slipped the ring back onto his finger, his own
hands shaking. "I cannot take this. Do not ask me to." 

He turned quickly as the door creaked open and Erestor entered, carrying a
goblet. He had half-expected it to be Elladan. He would not have liked
Elladan's eyes to find that sight, though Elladan's suspicions could hardly be
fuelled anymore; he had already made the falsehoods true in his own mind.

"Come, my Lord, drink this." Erestor put the goblet into Elrond's hand. "It
will help you to sleep."

"Thank you," Elrond said to him after he had drunk the medicine. "Thank you,
both of you. I have not been the best-tempered person to live with these past
years, that I know, but the two of you have offered the most wonderful support
a person could have. I should thank you more often, but hear me now when I say
that I could not ask for better friends." He swallowed. "I do not know where I
would be without you."

"We are always here for you, Elrond, as you have been there for us in the
past." Erestor smiled at him from the end of the bed as he took the empty
goblet. "As far as I am concerned, and I think I speak for Glorfindel too when
I say that our duty to you goes beyond guarding your borders and keeping your
library. We have always taken care of this place, and we always will. You will
recover. Look to your own house. This place has brought life back to the most
wretched and injured souls. I am sure it will do the same for its Lord.
Remember the happy times, and allow the memories of the saddest times to heal.
You will recover from this grief. I know you miss Lady Celebrían terribly, as
we all do, but it comforts me to know that she will recover, and we will see
her again. Had she stayed with us then she would have faded, and she would have
been torn from us forever. This parting is only temporary. Always remember
that."

"I try," Elrond whispered, "but at the moment, the pain is all I feel. It is
suffocating me, and I cannot see a way out of the darkness."

"You will," Erestor said, passing a small smile to Glorfindel. "I am afraid you
have too many chains to anchor you to this world, my Lord. You cannot escape,
even if you wanted to."

"Lie back and try to sleep now." Glorfindel eased Elrond back into the pillows,
lying beside him as he had earlier requested. He ignored the strange look
Erestor gave him. He had already argued his innocence for one evening, he would
not do it again.

Elrond leaned his head against his shoulder and soon his eyes closed in sleep.
Glorfindel held him close and felt decidedly uncomfortable with the position,
but he could not bear to let him go. How glad he was that the two of them were
not alone. 

"Erestor," he said. "Do not leave this room this night as long as I am here
with him, do you hear me?" 

Erestor nodded. "I understand," he said, and did not question his friend as he
seated himself in a chair by the window.

Glorfindel sighed and felt Elrond's sleek hair against his cheek. At one time
he would have given anything to hold the Lord of Imladris in his arms like
this. At one time he would have let his mind wander into the realm of
fantasies. Those days had gone. All he felt now was sorrow and unease. 

He glanced up at Erestor, wishing the counsellor would say something to break
the silence, but Erestor had never been one to make idle conversation. He was
as silent as ever, staring out of the window, distant and remote, the starlight
glittering on his black hair. Glorfindel wondered what was on his mind as he
looked westward. Was he thinking of Celebrían?

Apparently feeling eyes on him, Erestor blinked and turned back to him with a
questioning smile upon his lips. 

"He just offered me Lordship of Imladris," Glorfindel confessed in a whisper,
unable to keep the worrying secret to himself.

Erestor's dark eyes widened. "What?!" 

Glorfindel sighed and nodded, glancing down at Elrond sleeping against him. "He
is so weary with his troubles, it has driven him to this. I hate to see him so,
it is like he does not care about anything anymore. Not even his rule."

"What did you say?" Erestor had an awful habit of asking the most stupid
questions sometimes. 

"I turned it down, of course, what do you think I'd say?" Glorfindel rolled his
eyes. "Elladan is the rightful heir, not I."

"But both sons are disgraced and disinherited," the counsellor argued. "Arwen
is talking of moving to Lórien with her grandmother. What if Lord Elrond did
leave or fall apart? I do not wish for this to happen, and you and I will do
everything we can to prevent it, but we must be realistic. I can hearten him
all I like, but there is every chance that the loss of Celebrían will
eventually be too much for him to bear. Who would the realm go to then?"

"Not I," Glorfindel stated with determination, incredulous that Erestor could
be suggesting such a thing. "And he will not fall apart. I will not let him.
Please do not suggest such a thing of me, Erestor, I do not want anyone to
think I am trying to bring that about." 

"Who thinks that?" Erestor frowned. "What do they think?"

"Elladan does, he said as much to me. He says he has seen how I look at
Elrond." Even now, he was probably looking at Elrond in such a way, and Erestor
could no doubt see it. At least Erestor was sensible enough to know that
nothing was meant by it. "Elladan thinks that I am trying to take his father."

"Wretched child," Erestor snapped with a vehemence that made Glorfindel flinch.
"They are both quite wretched. They gave me the creeps when they were but babes
in arms."

Glorfindel felt tears in his eyes but he held them back."It hurts so much to
think Elladan thinks that of me. He and I were so close once..."

As if the mention of his name had summoned him, the door abruptly swung open
and Elladan strode in, followed quickly by Elrohir who looked as frantic as his
brother looked furious. 

"What is the meaning of this intrusion?" Erestor demanded, rising from his
chair. "Your father is unwell and needs to rest."

Elladan ignored him and stood over the bed, even as Glorfindel was rising from
it. He did not know why he was still trying to defend himself when all attempts
were so obviously futile. But he had never been one to surrender easily.

"Elladan, please!" Elrohir sobbed, looking to Glorfindel. "Stop this madness!"

"I turn my back for one moment and you are in his bed!" Elladan raged.

"And Erestor was in the chair," Glorfindel countered, standing to face Elladan.
"Is it not clear to you that nothing *could* have happened, even if I wanted it
to? Why do you think this of me, Elladan? You may hate me, but do I not deserve
to know what I have done to receive such treatment from you?" He braced himself
for the answer.

"Who told of us all those years ago?" Elladan spat. "Who advised Mother to
leave? Who is now getting cosy with the broken-hearted Lord of Imladris. What
do you want Glorfindel? Is it just him, or do you want it all?" 

"This is not the place to argue!" Erestor took Elladan by the arm and all but
hauled him into the neighbouring room. 

Elrohir ran after them and Glorfindel followed, his fury rising. He could not
keep his temper with Elladan for a second longer.

"All right, Elladan, if you must know, your father did just offer me the ring
of power, and the realm, and more besides!" he said. "But I turned it down. I
turned him down. Do you honestly think I have that little respect for him? Or
your mother? Do you honestly think I have that little respect for myself?"

"Fine words, Lord Glorfindel, fine words," Elladan ranted, out of control. "Did
you talk him into disinheriting us too to make sure nothing stood in your
way?" 

The charges got worse and worse and Glorfindel could still not see where
Elladan had got such notions. "You wrongly accuse me!" 

"Oh, this is ludicrous!" Erestor cried, placing himself between Elladan and
Glorfindel. "Elladan, you are talking nonsense! These are the ravings of a
lunatic! Glorfindel is your father's most trusted friend, and his only wish is
to try to make things right in this house. He is a Lord in his own right; he
certainly does not want or need Imladris!"

"And what are you? The voice of his conscience?!" Elladan looked at Erestor
with fury. "I was not aware that you were involved." 

"Your parents asked me not to get involved but I must," Erestor said. "Elladan,
Elrohir, I must plead with you to stop this, for your father's sake. For all
our sakes."

Glorfindel shook his head at him, as touched as he was at Erestor defending
him. Such persuasion was useless now. It always had been. Tearing the twins
apart now would only bring more pain to them, and in Glorfindel's mind, they
had suffered more than enough for what they had done.

"It is not like we can just stop!" Elrohir said through tears, still turning
wide eyes to Glorfindel. "Do you think we wanted this? Do you not realise that
we tried to fight this for over two thousand years?! Do you not know that we
tried to stop it, many times?!"

"It was Mother's wish for us to be together if that meant we would be happy,"
Elladan put in.  

"Even at the expense of everyone else's sanity?" Erestor argued. "This is
killing your father!"

"It is killing me!" Elladan shouted at him.

Glorfindel shivered as he looked at the brothers. It was truly killing them,
both of them. Their immortality had been slowly failing since Elrond had
disowned them, and he wondered how long it would be before they were beyond
saving. Perhaps they already were.

"And I feel like I am in the middle of two formidable forces, dying alone,"
Elrohir said softly, looking at Elladan then back at Glorfindel.

Glorfindel could not bear to see Elrohir's tears. He had always consoled the
younger twin in his troubles. There had once been a time when Elrohir would
have told him everything. He wished he could still comfort him as he once had,
but offering a hand to Elrohir's shoulder was all he could do now.

No sooner had he reached out to Elrohir, Elladan had smacked his arm away
forcefully.

"Do not touch him!"

Glorfindel recoiled and folded his arm against his chest, the gesture hurting
more than the blow. He had never hoped to see the boy he had taught to fight
grow up to use violence towards him.

A loud smacking noise brought his head up just in time to see Erestor's left
hand landing a blow to Elladan's cheek. 

"Get out!" the counsellor snarled.

Elladan gasped at the slap but looked up at him defiantly. "You cannot dismiss
me!"

"Oh, do you really think I cannot?" Erestor remained resolute. "Get out, or I
will drag you out and do not think I am incapable of doing so."

"You?" Elladan scoffed. "You are weak, Erestor, in body and in mind. You spend
your days behind a desk buried in books and papers because that is all you are
able to do. If you wish to challenge me, feel free. I would enjoy a little
action. I would gladly match twin blades with you."

Erestor swallowed and glared at him, pulling on the end of his sleeve to cover
the fingers that had been broken. Glorfindel stared at Elladan in disbelief,
just as Elrohir was doing. He had never thought Elladan would stoop so low.

"Oh, you think me to be a cripple, do you?" Erestor said calmly in a low voice
that made Glorfindel shiver. He had never heard his friend speak in such a way
before. "Elladan, I fought for this land centuries before you were even thought
of. I nearly lost life and limb to give your generation a world that you could
live in without fear. I escaped many trials, I engaged in combat with creatures
that you would soil your trousers to even think of. My limbs may have been
injured but I would still be more than capable of taking on a spiteful whelp
like you. You are a coward. You can do nothing more than use cruel words
against others' weaknesses. If you were truly as great as you think you are,
you would have the courage to stand up for what you think is right openly and
with confidence. Your body may have strength, but your opinions do not, and
neither does your heart, and in the face of that you are as weak and
defenceless as a newborn lamb."

Elladan's expression darkened further and his body tensed as if he were about
to lash out. Glorfindel readied himself to stop a fight, but Elladan suddenly
shrunk back and Glorfindel thought he saw tears in his eyes. Erestor's words
had obviously hit a nerve.

Elladan scowled at him, then turned to look at Glorfindel. "I am watching
you," he said quietly through his teeth before turning on his heel to leave the
room. "Elrohir, come," he called back to his brother.

Elrohir stared after his brother, about to follow him, but he turned to
Glorfindel instead, reaching a hand to him. "He is hurting so much but he won't
show it,"  he offered as an excuse for Elladan's behaviour. "He is lashing out
at everyone. Erestor, I can only apologise for him."

"You should not apologise for him," Erestor said stiffly. "I have thicker skin
than people would think. His words mean nothing to me."

Glorfindel looked from Elrohir to Erestor, worried that the Erestor might be
upset by Elladan's words but he did not seem to be. Glorfindel had never seen
him look so angry and it frightened him a little. He would have to make sure
that no further trouble came of this. He would not allow either Erestor or
Elladan to be foolish enough to challenge a duel. One of them would surely get
terribly injured, though he was not sure which one.

"He is just looking for someone to blame," Elrohir said. 

"But why must he blame me?" Glorfindel asked out loud, accepting Elrohir's hand
in his own. "Elrohir, please tell me you do not agree with your brother. I do
not know why he thinks such a thing of me, but the thought of claiming Imladris
for my own has never entered my mind! Perhaps I get a little too involved at
times, perhaps there have been times when I should have backed away, but you
are all so very dear to me."

"I know!" Elrohir wept. "Oh Glorfindel, Elladan and Father are tearing each
other apart like wolves. I know Father did wrong but I would like to sort
things out, but he will not move an inch and neither will Elladan. I love them
both so much." He lowered his head as his tears fell. "And I love you, you have
always been an uncle to us, and now we are broken apart. I do not blame you for
telling about us, you did what you thought was right; but you must see, we love
each other, right or wrong."

"I know that, my dear child," he said, taking him in his arms, relief flooding
through him as he was assured that Elrohir did not hate him. "I saw that the
morning I saw you together, and I wish now that I had never said anything." He
glanced up at Erestor. He would not have said anything if Erestor had not
persuaded him to be righteous, but the blame was not Erestor's either.

Elrohir cried in his arms for a moment then withdrew. "If... if you had joined
Father in his bed..." he began.

"I never would." Glorfindel took Elrohir's face in his hands to look into his
eyes so Elrohir could see the truth. "What I say is true. I would never do
that, especially not when he is so vulnerable. I have more decency than that."

Elrohir lowered his gaze and pulled his head away. "You love Father, though you
know you should not," he said with a tremble in his voice. "You cannot, you
must not, yet you do. I know how that feels, so I would not blame you for
wanting to give in. Perhaps you understand Elladan and I better than you
think."

Glorfindel swallowed and took a slow breath. He had never wanted to imagine
Elrohir being as insidious as his twin, but there was a strong edge of
manipulation in those words.

"I love your father, that is true," he admitted, choosing his words carefully.
"But unlike some folk I have the sense and decency not to pursue a foolish lust
when I can see the untold damage it would do to the ones I love."

Elrohir bit his lip then held his head high. "Then you are stronger than we
are." 

Glorfindel shivered at how hard his voice sounded. "Oh Elrohir, do not let your
brother's bitterness rub off on you," he said. "You have always been so sweet."

Elrohir sniffed and wiped his tears with his sleeve. "I will not let anyone
turn me bitter," he whispered. "Not Elladan. Not him." He glanced through the
open door to his father's bedroom where Elrond slept soundly, then went out
after his brother.

Erestor followed Elrohir's fading shadow with narrowed eyes. "I know not which
is worse, Elladan's direct cruelty or Elrohir's simpering sidestepping."

Glorfindel watched the younger brother too, and felt his tears consume him.
Elrohir's words would not leave his conscience, even though he had tried so
hard not to let them into it in the first place.

"Oh Erestor, I do wonder sometimes if they are not to be pitied!" he sighed. "I
believe Elrohir when he said they tried to fight it, but what he said to me is
right! I am the same as them. How long can one fight a love so strong, even
though it is wrong?" He looked to Elrond's door where Elrohir's eyes had passed
but a moment before. "I would never do anything..." But did that really make
him so much better than the twins? Was it not bad enough that the feelings were
present to start with? 

He was surprised to find Erestor's arms around him. The counsellor was always
so detached, often shunning physical contact of any kind but his arms held
Glorfindel firmly. 

"I know," Erestor whispered as his hand found a place in Glorfindel's hair.
"You are better than they are, your words were true. You would not pursue
something that would hurt other people. And I will not pity them. It is you I
pity most next to my Lord." His lips brushed Glorfindel's temple. "Oh, my
friend how it pains me to watch you suffer so for a love that will never be."

Glorfindel leaned into his arms, so grateful for the comfort. For months he had
been the one to comfort everyone. No one had offered any support to him. "I
love him so much," he sobbed. "I live only to love him, yet I know he will
never love me back.  I do not wish him to. He has a wife and children and I
would never, *never* come between that! I cannot help my feelings but I can
help my actions!"

"Shh. I know, you do not need to convince me." Erestor held him tighter and
Glorfindel felt him sigh. "How do you endure it? I will never understand how
you can make yourself suffer so much. There are so many who desire you. Could
you never turn your sights elsewhere? You deserve to have someone to care for
you." 

As always, Erestor's suggestion was obvious, but not easy.

"I cannot just snuff out my feelings," he said, pulling away to wipe his eyes.
"I know many lust after me, Erestor, but I wish for love. I have been alone for
so long, if I were to offer myself to someone it would have to be worth it." 

"I am certain there are those that love you also," Erestor said with a strange
smile. "I am sure there are those that love you with the love you feel for Lord
Elrond."

"I would not have anyone feel unrequited love as I do," Glorfindel said with a
small laugh. "If anyone does feel so about me, I would advise them look
elsewhere to someone who would not bring such heartache." He could never
imagine turning his love elsewhere. It would feel like cheating. He had always
loved Elrond, and he always would.

Erestor gave a wry smile and squeezed his hand. "Practise what you preach, Lord
Glorfindel," he whispered. "Come, let us return to Elrond."