Title: A Bond of Brothers 
Chapter Four - Separation
Author: Oakenshield (Oakenshield@lonelymountain.zzn.com)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Elladan/Elrohir
Warnings/Spoilers: Incest
Archive: Anyone who wants it is welcome to have it, just let me know first.
Disclaimer: The characters and the places all belong to J.R.R. Tolkien, and I
am making no profit from this at all.
Summary: Elladan leaves for Lothlorien, ignorant to the fact that his family
are working to break him from Elrohir.

------

Chapter Four - Separation


Imladris
Year 2496 of the 3rd Age


Dusk was falling rapidly upon Imladris in heavy contours of shadows. The silver
crescent moon hung low in the sky as evening stars fought past the screen of
clouds. Silence was settling upon the land, save for the chattering of night
birds and the distant sound of the Bruinen gushing through its rocky bed,
swollen with melted snow.  Spring had come, and the land was growing green
again. Spring had come, which meant the time for Elladan to leave for
Lothlórien had also come.

Standing stiffly at the edge of the valley, the elder twin looked out over the
vista of his home, willing the calmness of the land to infuse with his body.
How far could he see? Treetops below, silver glimmers of moonlight on the
river, the icy caps of the Misty Mountains. How far did he wish to see? To see
through time would be nice. To see two years into the future, to how things
would be when he returned. Two years seemed like forever, and now the time had
come, he did not want to go away. He did not want to leave Elrohir. Two years
was far too long a time to be separated after being together little more than
half a year. 

He wondered why he had ever expressed a wish to become a guardian. He had known
then that it would mean spending months at a time in Lórien, months at a time
away from Elrohir. Though at the time he had first considered it, that had been
all he had wanted. And Haldir. Haldir had talked him into the idea, and
somewhere in a fog of passion, Elladan had liked the sound of it.  

Haldir. He could see him now, and he could hear him. That voice. He had never
been able to forget it. The voice that had whispered silkily into his ear in
the lingering hours of darkness, the voice that reminded him of days and nights
and weeks, when his arms had been full of nothing but Haldir, and his mind had
been full of nothing but Elrohir. 

Elladan had not seen the marchwarden for over a year, not since he had last
been in Lórien. They had never agreed they were having an affair, but neither
had they ever formally ended their dalliance. Elladan had more than a feeling -
and a sinking feeling at that - that Haldir would want him back in his bed.  

Now he had to see him again, and be under his training and command. The thought
of the abuse the Galadhrim warden might give this role made him shiver. Haldir
was a strange creature, powerfully built, nobly beautiful and very aware of the
fact; cold and proud in one breath, passionate and compliant in the next. It
was a volatile combination of qualities that had always made Elladan wary. In
one heartbeat he had wanted to care for Haldir and break his icy countenance,
and in the next he had wanted to mistrust him.

Oh, why had he been such a fool to jump into bed with every willing person? It
had not done anything to help him reach his goal of ridding himself of the void
Elrohir had left in his heart. In fact, it had only ever made things worse. He
had lain with more Men than Elves, some had treated him with worship devoid of
the personal touch he craved, but most had treated him roughly, devoid of the
care he required. Elves had only served to remind him of Elrohir in their form,
both Haldir and the beautiful golden-haired archer of Mirkwood that he had
shared a night with during his travels long ago.

Two years. He had never been apart from Elrohir for so long in his entire life.
True, in the years they had not been lovers, Elladan had travelled the lands
far and wide for months at a time, but always he had returned home, the pull on
his heart for the company of his twin being far too much to bear. He wondered
why he had roamed so much in his earlier years. Had it truly been wanderlust?
Or had he just been running? Running from his own feelings, running from
Elrohir, running from the pain and the denial of that one brief and fleeting
night that had burned in his conscience since it happened. Running from the
pain of Elrohir's rejection. 

Never had he dreamed that Elrohir felt the same love for him as he did for his
younger twin. Had he known, he surely would have killed himself trying to rid
his brother of his shame. Elladan felt no shame at their affair, he never had,
not even during their blind night together in their youth. Who had the right to
say that two people loving each other was wrong? He could not see it.  

Elrohir was weak-willed, he knew that. Always he had held his brother up when
that will had not been strong enough. Elrohir had pledged they would always be
together, and Elladan believed him, but now he was going away... Would Elrohir
be strong enough to keep the oath and keep the silence for two years? Elladan
cringed at his doubt in his own twin. 

He knew he would survive the two years, though every waking moment would be
plagued with thoughts of his brother, and every sleeping moment would be
plagued with dreams of him. It would be hard, but he would survive it and he
would come back to Elrohir and then...? And then, he didn't know what would
happen. It was impractical that they had not discussed it, but it had hardly
seemed to be important in relation to their jubilation of their rediscovered
love. 

"Elladan?" Elrohir's voice carried in a whisper through the darkness. "Elladan,
where are you, my dear?" 

Elladan could not stop a smile crossing his face, just at the sound of his
brother calling his name, his soft voice laced with anticipation. 

"I am right here, my beloved." He walked back through the trees. "I have been
waiting for you." He indicated to the blanket laid out on the floor, inviting
Elrohir to sit. 

For some weeks, Elladan had had this night in mind, trying to think of
something special to do but nothing had come to him that would be possible to
achieve without raising suspicion. A bottle and a blanket in the depths of the
woods may not have been the most romantic or creative of notions, but the
weather was in their favour and at least they would not be disturbed. They
would be able to make love without being forced to stay silent, without having
to keep one eye turned to a securely locked door. In the early months they had
been together, they had often taken night strolls into the woods, but Winter's
chill had deprived them of the opportunity to for too many months. 

"I found your message inviting me here. Found it and destroyed it," Elrohir
nodded with a smile. "I cast it into the fire. It would not be good for anyone
to discover where we are. This is our secret place, after all." He reached for
the wine bottle lying beside the blanket and pulled the cork out. "Elladan, did
you filch this from Father's cellar?" he asked with a wicked grin, as he smelt
the vintage. "He would go mad!" 

"What he does not know will not ail him," Elladan responded. "Drink, Elrohir, I
got it especially for you. I know how you love that year." He watched as his
twin put the bottle to his lips and tilted his head back to drink. Each
contraction of his throat was a suggestion to Elladan's mind, and he felt his
body stir at the sight. "Sweet Elbereth, the mere sight of you is enough to
undo me," he whispered as Elrohir withdrew the bottle, leaving wine glistening
red upon his lips.

"Have you made sure no one is around?" Elrohir glanced around the clearing, as
if he were expecting half of the population of Imladris to leap from the trees. 

Even after so many months, Elrohir was still nervous at the prospect of being
caught. They both were, but Elrohir more so. Alas for Elladan, the passionate,
reckless being that had thrown him to the floor in the gardens and torn his
clothes from his body had only stayed for a short while, before calming and
retreating back into the timid soul that he knew of old. Sometimes he grew
annoyed at his brother's apprehension; he would always see that they were not
in the position to be found or disturbed. But then Elrohir had always been a
panicky beast.

"No one ever comes here but us." Elladan lay upon the blanket and brushed a
kiss against his lover's lips, tasting the wine. "I do wish you could relax
more, Elrohir. Why are you always so edgy?" 

"Oh, I'm not!" Elrohir clearly forced the smile that crossed his face. "I am
fine. This is a lovely thought. Thank you. I am most pleased." Resting his head
upon Elladan's shoulder, he gazed up at the sky. "The stars are coming out now.
It will be a beautiful night."

Elladan nodded as he scanned the sky. He loved this spot especially, for the
trees sheltered them from the gaze of Eärendil's star. The thought of making
love beneath the sight of their fabled grandsire made Elladan feel most
uncomfortable. It felt blasphemous. "It is beautiful," he agreed, "though not
as beautiful as you."

A light slap made contact with his arm. "Well, you have to say that, don't you?
Else insult yourself."

The slightest smile curled his lips. "Nay, dear brother, you are far fairer
than I am, and well you know it." He reached and brushed his fingertips against
Elrohir's cheek, tracing the line of his jaw to his lips. "And no star holds
the light like your eyes. My dearest brother. My only love." 

"Elladan," Elrohir gulped his name.

"Hush, my love," Elladan pulled him into his arms. "Do not cry over me, I will
be back before you know it. Two years is nothing."

Elrohir sighed dolefully. "I wish I could ride to Lórien with you, but Father
says he needs me here."

"It is probably for the best. We would only be weeping all over each other once
we reached the borders."

"I wish you did not have to go for this stupid guard training." Elrohir pouted.
"And what after, Elladan? Will you be chosen for the border guard?"

"I will make sure I am awful at the job," Elladan told him with a grin. "No, I
will do well, but I will not stay in Lórien. Perhaps a year ago I wanted to,
but my place now is here with you and nothing will pull me from your side. I do
want the training and the experience. True, we were both brought up knowing how
to defend ourselves, and we can both wield a sword and fire a bow rather well.
But I would like to know how to defend myself - and others - properly. A few
times during my travels I wished that I had the skill of a Lórien bowman.
Fortunately, luck was on my side those times, but I know it will not always
be."

"You could train for that here," Elrohir sighed.

"Yes, I could," Elladan agreed, "but I am going to Lórien because it is all
arranged and it will be a terrible inconvenience if I withdraw now. You should
think about training too. Maybe one day Father will need us to help guard the
valley. I think for too long we have thought we are too good for it, but maybe
now is the time that should change."
 
"I do not think we are too good for it," Elrohir disagreed. "Glorfindel has
been captain of the border guard for years upon years." He shrugged. "Perhaps I
will ask him if I can join the guard here while you are away. It will give me
something to do, if nothing else. Something to pass the time while I am without
you. I cannot sit around on my rear for two years awaiting your return."

"Let's not talk about that now." Elladan fumbled in his pocket. "I have
something for you to remember me by while I am gone," he said, withdrawing a
small wooden box.

"What is it?" Elrohir took it from him and lifted the lid.  His eyes shone with
delight as he pulled the velvet wrapping back to reveal a highly crafted silver
ring set with an emerald stone. "Elladan. This was a gift to you from
Grandfather."

"And now it is yours," Elladan took his hand and slipped it onto his finger. "I
think it suits you perfectly."

Elrohir smiled at the gift, holding his hand up and turning it this way and
that so the moonlight caught the silver, making it shine. "I wish I had
something to give you."

"A kiss will suffice." Elladan caught his lips and pulled the younger twin over
his body, lying back so Elrohir settled flat on top of him. "I love you
Elrohir," he whispered. "I love you so much it hurts!" 

Deft hands removed his tunic. "It's not supposed to hurt," Elrohir whispered
against his skin. "I don't want it to hurt." He raised his head to regard
Elladan. "I want to take you this night. I know you prefer to take me, as I
usually do, but just this night... let me."

"Elrohir, I have to ride tomorrow!" 

"I won't hurt you." Elrohir blinked coyly at him. "Please let me have you."

So many times beneath so many Men... Too many years being the willing plaything
of mortal men, too many nights upon his knees, for whatever purpose. But this
was Elrohir. It was different. This was for love and he would give himself
easily. 

******

The sun rose all too early for Elladan. He wondered how long he had dozed,
after he and Elrohir had made love for what seemed like hours. It probably had
been hours, taking each other in turn with an insatiable fire burning in both
of them, until exhaustion had overtaken them and they had fallen in the leaves
to sleep.

He fidgeted a little beneath the weight of his twin lying against his shoulder
and felt a ghost of pain flit through his lower half. He couldn't remember a
time his body had felt so abused, and though it pained him, he grinned. Each
ache was a reminder of the pleasure.

He glanced down to see Elrohir gazing up at him. "Good morning, my love," he
kissed him gently. "How fare you?"

"Sore," Elrohir gave a coy smile. "Yourself?"

"Rather alike." Elladan sat up, stretching. "Oh, Elrohir, we must get dressed
in case anyone finds us like this. We have slept for far longer than we should
have." He rose to his knees and rummaged in the pile of clothing to find his
shirt. 

"I hate this!" Elrohir heaved a sigh as he stood and stepped into his leggings.
"All this sneaking around, rutting in the woods, no better than animals! Little
comfort for our love but bare leaves for a mattress and Ithil as a never-
blinking watcher of our sin. Oh, what I would give that we would not have to
endure this!"

"But we do have to endure it, regardless," Elladan told him, catching his hand.
"And we *are* animals, Elrohir; we are certainly no better than they are." He
drew his brother's fingers to his lips. "Animals care not about kin, why should
we? What makes us so special?"

Elrohir shrugged and retrieved his shirt from the floor, shaking leaves from
it. "I suppose, if you put it like that." He passed Elladan's remaining clothes
to him without meeting his eyes. "But what will we do, Elladan?! Kiss in the
shadows for the rest of our lives? Make love in stealthy silence behind locked
doors?"
 
Elladan felt his insides twist, the cold blade of memory stabbing deep into his
soul. "You are not thinking of backing out of this, are you Elrohir?" 

"Oh dear goodness! No!" Elrohir dropped to his knees and embraced him. "How
wrong I was to deny us this for as long as I did! I don't know if you can ever
forgive me for it, Elladan..."

Elladan rose to kiss him. "Hush, my brother. I forgave you a long time ago.
True we have wasted many precious years, but we are together now, that is all
that matters. Do not worry. I don't like to see you so downcast. Everything
will be as it should be, no matter what may come about in the next two years,
do you hear me?  I would never let anyone part us. I will never forsake you.
Trust me as you always have, Elrohir, I promise things will be right in the
end." He would have longed to linger in the kiss but he knew time was running
short. "We really must make a move, love," he sighed. "Father will have my hide
if I am any later. I was meant to meet with him at eight."

"Oh my! Elladan! Look at the sun!" Elrohir cried, waving an animated arm at the
sky. "I believe eight was some hours ago! It is now time for you to leave for
Lórien! What about Father's meeting?" He got tangled in his clothes in his
fluster and it took some amount of yanking of cloth and cursing under the
breath before he was decent.

"All my things are packed and ready." Elladan finished dressing in haste,
pausing only to quickly braid up his hair while hiding a wide smile at his
brother's state. "I can just jump on my horse and leave. Knowing Father he
probably wanted to make a speech, or give me a sermon. I can happily live
without either. But you are right, we must move quickly."

Hasty footsteps charging through the leaves brought them both to the house to
halt with a skid on the balcony, as Elrond seemed to materialise from between
the pillars.

"I did not recall seeing either of you after supper last night," he said,
raising a stern eyebrow. 

Elladan swallowed. That look had always made him nervous, ever since he was a
child. It was the glare reserved only for when he was in extra big trouble. It
had been many years since he had received 'the eyebrows' with such intensity.

"He was with me," Elrohir piped up. "I am sorry, Father, I didn't mean to put
anyone to trouble. I merely wanted to spend some time alone with my brother
before he departed. I am sure you would not be angered with us for wanting
that." 

Elrond cast his eyes only briefly to his younger son, before returning them to
the elder. "And did your activities last night keep you sleeping so late that
you missed having breakfast with me, Elladan? I specifically wanted to see you
this morning, and I am saddened that you could not make it. I had some very
important things that I wanted to say to you."

Elladan glanced away from the power of his Father's glare as the other eyebrow
raised to join its mate. "I... I am sorry!" he sighed. "But we were awake most
of the night..." his words trailed off as he searched his imagination for an
appropriately convincing lie. "We were..."

"Talking," Elrohir interjected. "I am most sorry, Father, it was my fault. I
kept him up very late." With that a naughty smirk pulled at the corner of
Elrohir's lips and Elladan had to lower his head again before an identical
smile conquered his own face.

"All my things are packed." Elladan took Elrond by the arm and walked down the
stairs to the courtyard. "I just need to say my goodbyes. Please do not be so
gloomy - just think, you are not seeing me for two years!" 

"Your escort is waiting for you." Elrond nodded to the party on impatient
horseback. "Indeed they have been waiting most part of an hour. Now say your
goodbyes and we will be off." 

We? Elladan questioned to his own mind. Indeed, Elrond did look like he was
dressed for travel. Perhaps he hadn't escaped the talk after all. 

He turned to look at Elrohir, to find his brother was avoiding his eyes. He
felt the same pain that he saw reflected in Elrohir's face. No word of goodbye
would be said now, more than enough had been said last night. To say goodbye
now would only reduce both of them to tears. Taking a breath to push back the
emotion that was welling in his throat, Elladan moved along the line to embrace
Celebrían. 

"Farewell, Mother." He hugged her tightly. 

"Farewell, my son." She kissed his cheek then pulled back to grasp both his
hands tightly, he thought rather tighter than she needed to. "May wisdom and
courage go with you, and may you find your true path in your dreams." 

"You are talking like Grandmother," he said, intending mirth to lace his voice
but none found its way out. Celebrían stared long at him, and he was torn
between moving away from her eyes and staring deeper into them to try to fathom
out their meaning. He could feel she was trying to look deep into his soul, but
he could not see into hers. "Glorfindel." Shaking himself, he pulled free and
moved along to clasp the Elf Lord's hands to find his old mentor was unusually
taciturn. "Farewell." 

"Farewell, young Lord," was the only reply Glorfindel gave, and Elladan was a
little hurt by it. "I will not be riding with you to the borders, as you
requested. Your father will now be accompanying you for a while as he has grave
things to discuss with you."

"I see," Elladan whispered, glancing at his mother then back at Glorfindel. A
cold feeling suddenly washed over him, telling him that something was amiss, he
should not go, he should not leave Elrohir... He pulled a shuddering breath
into his lungs and turned his eyes to Elrohir. He could feel a sense of nervous
foreboding in his twin's heart, though the emotion was shut to him as soon as
he touched on it, and Elrohir raised his head to smile at him. Even so, Elladan
was not fooled, he knew Elrohir's heart, and he knew Elrohir's gift of
foresight - though not all that strong - was stronger than his own. Something
was very wrong within his family...

"Elladan!" He found himself tugged into Arwen's arms, breaking his train of
thought. "I am going to miss you so much!" 

He could not find it in himself to return her hug with equal vigour. "Look
after Elrohir for me while I am gone," he whispered, feeling a lump knot up in
his throat. "Promise me, Arwen. Take care of him." He wasn't sure why he felt
so anxious. 

"I promise I will," Arwen told him, her deep eyes shining with more
understanding than he expected to see.

Heavy footsteps took him to his brother. Though they had said goodbye the night
before, some words needed to be said once more. 

"I love you, Elrohir," he whispered softly near his ear as he embraced him
tenderly. "I will think of you always while I am gone." He felt Elrohir shudder
as he held back tears. "Find me in your dreams, as you shall come to me in mine
each night."

"I love you," Elrohir whispered back. "And do be careful of Haldir." 

"I will, do not worry." Elladan pulled back and looked to where his escort was
waiting. With one final squeeze of Elrohir's hand, he turned and mounted his
horse. He knew he visibly winced as he seated himself in the saddle, and was
rewarded with a coy smirk from Elrohir. "Do not let the valley fall apart while
I am gone!" he called back to his family, with a smile, avoiding looking at
Elrohir lest he be weakened. "I will return before you have missed me, no
doubt!" He turned his horse to follow behind the others, glancing back over his
shoulder at Elrohir as they left the gates.

The party trod across the narrow bridges and climbed carefully up into the
valley. Part of Elladan wanted to gallop ahead, to feel the wind in his hair,
and the last chill of the dying morning upon his face, but his heart was heavy
and he soon fell behind the rest of the company. The pang of worry he had felt
in the courtyard was now twisting terribly within his soul, shortening his
breath and stinging his eyes. Normally Elrohir would be the one to be overtaken
by these sorts of feelings, Elladan had never suffered such a sensation of
intuition, yet he knew - as a foal knows to stand as soon as it breathes - that
something terrible was going to happen.

Things had seemed very strange around the family the past few months, and
Elladan had often wondered if something was going on that he was not meant to
know about. He knew Elrohir had felt it too, though he had not spoken to his
brother of it. His father had been in odd moods, and his mother had seemed very
sad. Glorfindel seemed unusually uncomfortable, and Erestor was even more terse
than usual. Things had been strange ever since that morning they had walked in
on the end of an argument between their parents to find their mother in tears,
their father not in sight, and Glorfindel rushing from the house in a fluster. 

Elladan often wondered if perhaps he and Elrohir had put the world out of
kilter making their blood-bond that day, though he doubted the Valar took
*that* much notice of them. At least he hoped they did not.

It was so strange. Only days later Erestor had left the valley with the
smallest escort Elladan had ever seen. He had only been able to find out that
he had been bearing an important message from Elrond to Galadriel and Celeborn.
When he had questioned the counsellor about it on his return home, he had only
been rebuked for being nosy. Perhaps Haldir would know something? He always had
an inexplicable amount of knowledge about secret business.

"It is a fine morning, my son, is it not? A good morning to set out riding." 

Lost in the midst of his thoughts Elladan started as he found his Father
drawing his steed beside him. 

"You look very pensive." Elrond looked askance at him as he slowed his horse to
a plod. "Is everything all right, Elladan? I hope you would tell your mother
and I if something were amiss." 

"I am fine." Elladan turned to face his father. "Why do you ask?"

Elrond gave a slight shrug. "No reason." 

Elladan sighed, staring at the valley below. He assumed the time for the speech
he had been trying to avoid had come. "What did you wish to speak with me
about?"

"Well, you are my heir," Elrond stated seriously, "and one day all this will be
under your rule." He waved an arm behind to indicate to the valley. "How do you
feel about that?"

Elladan blinked, a little taken back by the question. "I cannot say I had
really given it much thought."

"No, of course not, but..." Elrond pursued.

"Well..." Elladan looked down over the land. "Well, I quite like the idea of
it. I think I could do rather a good job of it. I hope I could."

"I am sure you could," Elrond smiled at him, and Elladan noted a sad tinge in
his eyes. 

"Why do you ask?" He shifted uncomfortably in his saddle, already disliking the
sound of the conversation. 

"How would Elrohir feel about ruling?" Elrond asked. "What do you think?"

"Elrohir?!" Elladan laughed. "He has no desire to rule at all. Give him a
stable to rule and he would be happy enough!" 

Elrond nodded. "That is well. I wondered if there would be any conflict between
you about who would rule, as you are twins."

"No, there never has been," Elladan assured him. "I am the elder - albeit only
by minutes - and I am the heir. There's never been any argument about that."

"So you have never discussed the idea of ruling together?"

"No, not at all," Elladan frowned. "That is not possible, is it?" He tried not
to make his question sound hopeful and was sure he failed.

"No, it is not possible," Elrond said firmly. "It would not be proper at all.
That is why I am asking. The realm would be ruled by you and your wife."

"My wife?" Elladan choked, wondering where on earth that notion had suddenly
jumped out from. "What?!" The image of himself with a blushing bride on his arm
would have been most amusing, were his father's words not spoken so seriously.

"I assume you do intend to marry sometime?" 

Elladan was sure the colour drained from his face in that second. "I am sorry
Father but I cannot say I had given that much thought either." 

"No, no, of course you haven't," Elrond patted his arm, "but I was just
wondering. Would you like a marriage to be arranged, or would you choose your
own bride?"

Elladan floundered for a second. "I do not know. Father, you cannot ask me
this! I cannot answer this! Why do I need to be married to rule?"

"I am concerned for both you and your brother," Elrond told him. "You have
grown up to be very handsome, and I am proud of that, yet neither of you have
ever taken a life partner, at least not as far as people see. Elrohir has never
showed interest in anyone other than his horses, while until very recently you
spent all your time hopping in and out of every available bed." He arched an
eyebrow. "I do hear of things, Elladan, and I do not approve of my firstborn
having a reputation as such a..."

"Tart?" Elladan spat, his back stiffening. "I do not act like that anymore,
Father. Things have changed."

"So you have found someone?" Elrond questioned and was answered with a shrug.
"I would like you to tell me, Elladan. If it has changed your attitude so much
then it must be serious."

"I have no one," Elladan answered carefully. "I merely decided to change my
ways by myself. I think I have outgrown my 'bed hopping' behaviour. I am taking
this training with the Lórien guard, and when I return I wish to take a post on
Glorfindel's border guard. I think it's about high time I grew up and took some
responsibility, as you said to me some time ago."

"We were under the impression that you would be moving to Lórien for the
foreseeable future." Elrond frowned.

"I did consider it," Elladan replied, "but Imladris is my home, and my family
are here. I have spent too long roaming. I wish to settle a while now. If that
is well with you?" 

"It is very well with me." Elrond smiled. "I am glad that you want to settle
down. I must admit that your behaviour has worried me ever since you came of
age. And it sounds to me like you have found yourself a lover here in
Imladris."

"Maybe I would consider marrying," Elladan diverted the topic onto safer
ground. "I would perhaps like children one day. But I didn't think it was
something I had to strongly consider for many centuries yet." He hoped his
Father did not have enough powers to tell that he was lying through his teeth.
 
"You have never shown much interest in women, Elladan," Elrond sighed. "I have
noticed."

"Neither has Elrohir!" Elladan cried in defence of himself, biting his tongue
as soon as he said it. "I mean, I do not really think it is relevant!" He
forced himself to calm down before he uttered something he would regret. "I
have just not met the right woman yet," he added. 

"What about Elrohir?"

"What about Elrohir?" Elladan repeated, feeling his heart start to hammer. "I
don't think it is appropriate for me to be discussing his preferences."

"No, very true," Elrond said. "But what of you, Elladan? You are not keen to
tell me if you have a lover at the moment, I suspect you do but that is neither
here nor there. Would you marry before you would rule? Reputation is
everything, my son; you will need to uphold it. I know some folk think you and
Elrohir are..."

"Are what?" Elladan froze, his breath sticking in his throat. This was not a
good turn in topic. In fact, it was getting onto extremely dangerous ground,
and he hoped his brain was fast enough to think of safe answers to his father's
questions.

"Are a bit...." Elrond seemed to cringe a little. "I do not want to offend you,
Elladan, but folk do talk..."

"What do folk say?" Elladan swallowed hard, feeling his heart skip a beat. /'He
knows!'/ he thought. Then he chased the thought away. There was no way anyone
could know, they had been so careful. But if people were thinking something
between them was odd, they had obviously not been careful enough. 

"They think the two of you are a little... peculiar," Elrond said. "You spend
all your time with each other, these past months especially. You know I have
always felt that you should grow apart a little and let other people get close
to you. I had a twin myself, Elladan, as you know, so I do not speak blindly.
Elros and I were close beyond words, yet when he chose mortality aside from my
path." A sad shadow crossed his face. "Well, it broke my heart. I would not see
you or Elrohir suffer the same fate."

Elladan smiled sadly at his father. "I do not believe that will be our fate. In
all honesty, we have not discussed it, but I am sure whether we choose to stay
in Middle Earth or to sail to Valinor with you, we would fare alike. I know we
would." 

True, they had not discussed it, but Elladan knew in his heart that their fate
would be to stay in Middle Earth and live and die with each other. They would
not be permitted to be together in Valinor, and if they could not be together
properly in this life then Elladan wished for them to journey together into the
afterlife, where their souls would become one again.

"You can never tell what will happen, Elladan," Elrond said gravely. "Fate is
so fragile, and you can never know what is around the corner. To bind yourself
so closely to a sibling, it's... Well, it is not healthy. I can imagine you
will miss Elrohir greatly while you are away but I would like you to take the
time to cast your sights around. Make some new friends." He looked plaintively
at his son. "Do not think ill of me for what I say, only know that I do it out
of concern." 

"I understand what you say," Elladan answered quietly. /'But I do not like the
sound of it,'/ he voiced silently to himself. "Do you listen to this gossip,
Father?" he dared to ask. "Do you think my brother and I are peculiar?"

"Elladan, you are my sons. I love you." Elrond smiled that strange sad smile
again. 

Elladan let his breath out slowly. He had not even realised he had been holding
it. "Why all this sudden talk of my inheritance?" he asked. "You and Mother are
not thinking of leaving, are you?"

"Goodness, no!" Elrond laughed. "I was just curious, that's all. No, do not
worry; your mother and I are quite happy where we are for a long time yet. We
were just talking the other day, and realised that we had never really
discussed this with you. So we thought - well, your mother thought - that I
should." 

"Then all is well." Elladan smiled. "You had me worried for a moment." His
words were spoken falsely, for he knew that all was not well, and he was still
very worried. He knew he should not bring it up, but he could not help himself.
"Father, may I ask..." He was going to ask anyway. "Why did Erestor take off to
Lórien so suddenly after the autumn festival? It seems strange for you to send
him riding on the wings of winter. Are you sure everything is well, for much
seems strange to me."

"That is nothing for you to concern yourself with," Elrond assured him. "It is
personal business. And yes, everything is fine, I promise you." The Lord of
Imladris reached to squeeze to his son's shoulder. "Anyway, let us catch up
with the party." He broke his horse into a trot. "Just promise me you will
think of what I have said while you are away." 

"I shall certainly think over it for a long while," Elladan whispered.