Title: Tomorrow 1-2/?
Author: Georgia (gondolinbalrogslayer@hotmail.com)
Pairings: Elladan/Elrohir Erestor/Rumil Elrond/Glorfindel
Rating: R
Summary: At the leaving of the elves Imladris is in turmoil, there are difficult
choices to be made for all involved
Disclaimer: Not mine no money no claim no sue
Warning: twincest

Part 1


Beta read by Anand. Many thanks.



"Elladan, he's going to ask us; you know he will." Elrohir spoke softly to his
brother. He didn't want to trouble his beloved, but this needed to be said. They
both knew that this choice was to come, although they never spoke of it. They didn't
want to shatter the bearable allusion of eternal peace that they had worked so hard
to build. Yet here they were so close to the end, and Elladan could not save him.
His brother, his lover who had always protected him through their darkest of days,
could do nothing but sit in a stony silence not even daring to meet his twin's gaze.


Elrohir swallowed and gathered his thoughts. He knew that this might well be the
last chance they had to talk about it. He did not know when Adar would ask them to
make their decisions. It could be any moment now. His brother had always helped him.
But it was not enough. No noble game of his brother's could even begin to serve now
he must try to do the same for Elladan. "Adar would have us come with him away from
Middle-Earth." 


He noted how his twin stiffened at the mentioning of their father. To Elladan he was
merely Elrond, while to Elrohir, despite everything, he would always still be Adar.
"We could you know," he stammered. "Go I mean." This wasn't coming out the way he
had hoped. All the eloquent words he had fathomed in his brain were lost as he
looked upon the only one on the face of Arda who he knew truly loved him. Words were
Elladan's expertise, not his. Yet another reason to adore and worship his lover. 

Still Elladan sat stock still, not even looking at him as he fumbled and faltered.
Somehow he managed to keep up his façade of indifference even at the brink of the
storm. And with that thought he was lost and emotion flooded over him. His eyes
filled with tears that began to run down his face. "Oh Elladan," he sobbed bitterly,
"I will go where you go. You know this. I cannot leave you." After that he broke
off. He was sobbing too hard to speak. There was everything left to be said; yet
there was also nothing. 

Still Elladan sat silent and cold, even as the one he had pledged his life to wept
bitterly in distress. He made no sign of acknowledgement that he even knew that his
brother was there. Elrohir in his despair wanted to grab him and push him up the
wall until he was forced to take note of him. He wanted to kiss his brother more
passionately than they had ever kissed. He wanted to tease Elladan until he was
begging. He wanted them to have just one more time where nothing else mattered but
them, before it all went away. But Elrohir could do none of those things; he could
only stare silently at the one he loved who was mercilessly shunning him in his
moment of need. He needed to be comforted; someone had to tell him it would be
alright. Elladan had always done that, but not now. Now Elladan did nothing. He
couldn't take the idea of them drifting apart. He couldn't bear to look at his love.
So he fled. He didn't know where he was going, but he flew from the room as fast as
his elfin limbs could carry him. He just had to get away before his worst nightmares
began to come true. 

Elladan, though he sat silently and unmoving almost as if he hadn't taken note of
his brothers outburst, had been well aware of it all. He was being torn apart
inside. For centuries now he had protected his brother from everything. He had loved
him, cherished him, and thought only of him every moment since that fateful evening
so many years ago. They had gotten through so much together, but now in the greatest
hour of need that they had ever had or likely ever would have, he knew of no way to
console his brother. He could not even console himself. He had known this day would
come ever since the beginning and he had tried to prepare for it over the centuries.
Yet, now that it was happening he was at a loss for what to do. 

Minutes passed before he finally rose from the edge of their bed where he had been
sitting and stiffly walked over to the window. Arda was changing; there was no doubt
about that. He would go with it to his death whether he truly wished it or not.
There was no doubt of that either. Even for love of his brother he could not change
that. "But Elrohir must go," he whispered aloud to himself as if saying so would
strengthen his resolve. "He cannot die just for love of me. I will lose him either
way. I would rather lose him to Aman." Yet in his heart Elladan knew this was not
really true. The noble part of him wanted his brother to go with Elrond and live
forever. Yet the rest of him knew that he could not live even a single mortal life
without his brother, and he wanted him to stay in Middle Earth with him. "No!" he
nearly shouted. "I cannot think this. He must go; my brother must live!" He could
say no more, even though no one was listening to him. The feelings and emotions were
too much for him now. There was no choice for him, but for his brother there was.
And he would not see his only love make the wrong choice. 

Little did Elladan know that someone was listening outside his door, someone who
knew better than anyone else the truth about what was really going on in Imladris.
Erestor had heard Elrohir running while he was sifting through old documents in
preparation for the coming trip to the Havens. Sensing that trouble had just been
stirred up between the brothers, he had headed to their chambers to try to speak
with Elladan. Hardly anyone could actually talk to Elladan as of late. Of all the
grief and turmoil that Erestor had seen in these last days, Elladan had taken the
worst of it. It was for Elrond's eldest son that he feared the most. He had stopped
outside Elladan and Elrohir's chamber door contemplating whether to knock and go in
or just to let things be when he had heard Elladan thinking aloud. 

So it was true. Elladan really would let his brother go with their father. While
that was comforting to know, Erestor knew that that didn't really change anything in
the entire situation. Elrohir would almost certainly choose to stay with his lover
above the wishes of that lover, his father, and even the Valar themselves if it came
down to it. The leaving of the elves was not going to be a simple thing for any of
them. 

Erestor headed back to his study contemplating what he had just heard. Though the
shadow of Sauron had recently left Arda forever, another shadow had lately fallen
upon Imladris. Though the seed of this shadow had been planted many years before, it
wasn't until now that the turmoil of the House of Elrond was coming to a point. 

He was so lost in thought that he nearly ran right into his friend, Glorfindel, who
was striding down the corridor. Glorfindel reached out and stopped him before they
collided. "Really Erestor, for the one who sees everything, you certainly are
blind," the blond haired seneschal tried to joke. 

Erestor just ignored the comment, for they both knew that this was no time to joke.
"How is Elrond?" he asked. 

Despite the comforts of his ever-attentive blond lover, it was no secret that the
elven lord was nearly overcome with grief as of late. The loss of his precious
daughter and the forthcoming loss of the land that he had sacrificed so much to save
would be enough to send any elf into a state of severe melancholy. Combined with the
possibility of losing his sons to the human fate as well, Elrond was in a sad state
indeed. This was the time that the elf lord was needed the most by his kin as they
prepared to depart from Middle Earth, yet there was reason to fear for his life. The
pain was becoming too much, and nothing Glorfindel could do seemed to be able to
stop it. 

"He's the same as he always is," Glorfindel replied wistfully. "He hardly eats; he
hardly sleeps, he hardly talks. He just is." The balrog slayer's eyes suddenly
filled with tears as he thought of his lover's diminished state. He feared that he
might loose him to Mandos, and he felt powerless to stop it. He who had slain a
balrog to save the royal family of Gondolin in his former life was helpless to ease
the pain of the one dear to his heart. 

Seeing his friend's pain, Erestor reached out and drew Glorfindel to him in an
embrace. Glorfindel, too stressed to argue, merely let himself be hugged, and soon
found himself weeping on his long time friend's shoulder. He had put up a façade for
so long, all of them had. But it was too much. Everything they had all worked for
was being pulled out from under them. He couldn't go to Elrond for support now as he
had for centuries. 

"Shh," Erestor soothed as he lightly stroked his friends blond head. "Everything
will be alright." He tried to sound confident, but he doubted he sounded at all
convincing. They stood there for several minutes, embracing in the hallway,
oblivious that someone might see them, only trying to escape reality for just a few
moments. 

Then without warning Glorfindel turned his face upward keeping his chin rested on
Erestor's shoulder and looked into his eyes. "You are so good to us, Erestor," he
said sadly. "You have taken care of all of us over all these years, and even now you
still choose to help us when you could easily go to Rúmil. Would that I had half
your loyalty." He paused before continuing, "Elrond wants nothing to do with me. I
can't help him." He was becoming more and more emotional as he went on, getting
louder and louder regardless of who would hear. "Why can't I help him, Erestor?" All
I want is to have him back." That was it; he couldn't say anything more. He could
only weep on his friend's shoulder like an elfling. 

Erestor was at a loss for what to do. He didn't know what to say. Glorfindel has
hurting, they all were. But Elrond needed Glorfindel to be strong for him, and he
had showed extraordinary devotion to his lover during this most difficult time. Yet
here was the famous balrog slayer with enough valor to sacrifice his own life for
his lord, pained and broken. 

"No Glorfindel!" he said firmly causing the other to look up in surprise. "He needs
you now more than ever. You being weak like this and doubting yourself won't do him
any good." Erestor knew his words were most likely going to set his friend off, but
there was nothing else to be said. 

The blond was ever quick to take offense to anyone calling him weak. Glorfindel
would get mad, shout at him, stalk off, and then later come to realize that what
Erestor had said was right. Erestor was not chief advisor to Elrond for his eloquent
speech; the lord did well enough with that on his own. Instead Erestor, regardless
of how bluntly he spoke, usually had the correct answer, though that hardly stopped
most of Imladris' inhabitants from getting thoroughly annoyed at times. Yet Erestor
had a kind of foresight at times, not strong like Lady Galadriel's, but a foresight
still the same. He could often make out what the actions of others would be, and in
this case, with Glorfindel, he was absolutely correct. 

This was more than Glorfindel in his current emotional state could take. What had
been sadness was easily and swiftly turned to anger. Glorfindel was known for his
quick temper and he could be quite whimsical at times. He jerked back forcefully
from Erestor and was very tempted to give him a good punch on the nose. However he
somehow managed to resist the temptation and instead spat out the first thing that
came into his mind. 

"What would you know of any of this, Erestor? It does not concern you. Elrond is
mine and not yours, so you will have to be content with your Lothlórien whore!" he
hissed at Erestor. 

He knew his harsh words were untrue, but at the moment he didn't care. All he wanted
was for it all to end, for things to be back as they were before all this strife had
begun. Erestor had the perfect love, and Glorfindel could not stand to see it as his
life with Elrond was decaying. He didn't even stay to hear his friend's retort; deep
down he feared there would be none. Erestor was the only elf he knew who could take
no outward notice of his tirades. This usually made him even angrier, and if he got
any angrier Erestor would undoubtedly have a crooked nose till the end of Arda. And
even in his enraged state he knew he would regret such a thing later, even more than
he would regret these words. So he did an about face and stormed down the corridor.
Just as he had suspected he heard no insolent rejoinder from Erestor as he made his
way out of the last homely house. 

Erestor simply stood and watched his friend go, trying to remind himself that he had
suspected as much from the blond. But still Glorfindel's words had hurt him very
much. Maybe it was because deep down in his heart he felt that the enraged whimsical
words that the speaker would no doubt come to his senses and beg pardon for, were
truer than Glorfindel suspected. It didn't really matter though. If ever he had
harbored affections for Elrond it had been many centuries ago, and now he was quite
happy in the loving relationship that he and Rúmil shared. 

His lips couldn't help but curve into a smile at the thought of his silver haired
lover. The only thing that was really keeping him going through all of this was the
thought that soon the two of them would be in the undying lands together where they
would live in bliss for all eternity. Rúmil had already asked for his leave from
Lord Celeborn, and the former warden of Lorien would no doubt be joining him soon.
Perhaps for all his loyalty to the residents of Imladris over the centuries the
Valar had granted him his happiness with Rúmil as a reward. With that blissful
thought pushing all the dark ones from his mind he strode back to his study to
continue his task. 

~ 

Elrohir had found himself in his favorite garden in Imladris. It had once been his
mother's garden. He was ultimately at a loss for what to do. The time was coming for
his kin to leave Middle Earth forever. The occupants of the Last Homely House were
preparing to leave it forever. Elrohir would not miss Imladris, for it had never
been a place of good memories for him. He and Elladan had gone journeying anywhere
in Middle Earth they could find rather than stay here. Elladan could not bear it,
and when Elladan was unhappy Elrohir was ultimately unhappy by default. It seemed
his brother has the source of his life force at times. The two of them were bonded
stronger than brothers, stronger than lovers. To Elrohir it seemed that they were
the same being, though it was his brother who took care of them both. 

Elladan had saved him, protected him from harm for centuries. Even more importantly
than Elladan's devotion to him was his love. Elrohir had never had to question the
fact that his brother loved him, even when they had been merely bickering elflings.
When they had gone from brothers to lovers he had known immediately that Elladan was
nearly consumed by the need to make him happy. It was the most beautiful feeling he
had ever experienced, and he knew that as long as he had Elladan everything would be
alright. But now he faced losing Elladan. One way or another it seemed that they
were ultimately doomed to lose each other. For who knew of the fate of men once they
died? Adar had always told his children that it was a cruel and terrible fate to
die. And despite the fact that he knew in his heart that he would stay for Elladan,
Elrohir was more afraid than he had ever believed he could be. 

As he sat in silence among the flowers that surrounded the little pond with the
statue of his mother in the center, Elrohir spotted his old tutor Glorfindel
stalking out of the house. He knew that Glorfindel was his father's lover; he always
had. It had bothered Elladan immensely. That had been one of the few things they had
disagreed on over the centuries. Adar deserved to be happy and since Nana was gone
he could see no reason why he should not take comfort in the arms of his seneschal.
But Elladan had loathed the blond almost as much as he loathed their father.
Although there was hardly anyone whom Elladan did not loathe. There was Erestor and
his lover Rúmil, a March Warden from Lórien. Elladan had for some reason always been
partial to the pair. He quickly grew tired of analyzing his brother's relations. "Oh
Elladan, what a fool you are my love. What fools we both are," he said half
whimsically, half despairing. With that he lay back on the grass and tried to slip
into reverie. 

~ 

Glorfindel had stalked out of the house to pace among the gardens that surrounded
the last Homely House until he was back in a decent mood. If truth be told, neither
Glorfindel nor most of Imladris' other inhabitants had been in a pleasant humor
since their return from Estel and Arwen's wedding. There were few elves left at
Imladris now, for many had already made the journey to the Havens. Now it was only
the lord of the house and his family and closest companions that remained. 

Glorfindel paced for some time from garden to garden thinking of his beloved Elrond
and what possibly he might do to help him. He could think of naught that he had not
already tried. He simply could not reach his lover through the wall of despair the
Lord of Imladris had built around himself. The more he paced, the more Glorfindel
realized the truth in Erestor's words. He was being weak and succumbing to the same
evil that was dragging his lover into the abyss. But it seemed that there was
nothing he could do about it. Without Elrond Glorfindel would never reach the
Undying Lands. Instead grief would send him to Mandos' Hall for a second time, and
it seemed very likely that that fate was before him. 

It was while he was lost in his thoughts that Glorfindel came upon the one garden
that he had taken great care to avoid. It was her garden, and looking upon the
statue of the silver lady of Imladris had always filled him with guilt. Yet now he
was standing at the entrance as if some unseen force had pulled him to it. He stared
up at the marble columns with fair green vines wrapping intricately around them. It
was undoubtedly the loveliest garden in all of Imladris, for its mistress had tended
it well in her time. And even now, much to Glorfindel's surprise, it seemed just as
if the lady had come out to tend it yesterday rather than centuries ago. Decay had
never taken Celebrian's haven even if it had taken her. And suddenly Glorfindel
understood why Elrond's youngest son loved this spot so much, despite the terrible
memories it awoke in all of them. Mindless of the grief that was bound to resurface,
Glorfindel cast fear aside and strode inside. 

Yes, it was just as beautiful as ever, and in the center it was not the ghostly
stare of the lady that caught his eye, but instead it was the troubled face of her
son who lay still as death on the grass. He really was being selfish only thinking
of his own troubles. Here was an elf who had lost his mother, been forced to choose
between his father and his brother, and was about to have to choose between being an
elf or a man. Glorfindel's heart went out to Elrohir. The seneschal had been their
tutor when he and Elladan were merely elflings. Elrohir was so pure then, and still
to this dark day it had not changed. Fate should never have treated him so unkindly.


Glorfindel's approach startled Elrohir out of his reverie. He slowly sat up and gave
the blond Elda a weak smile. "Will you not come sit with me, friend? You look in
need of rest." He beckoned his former tutor over to where he sat. 

He was surprised to see Glorfindel before him. No one ever came into this garden
save himself. Glorfindel was known to avoid it like Mordor itself. When he had
witnessed the blond stalking from the house, he had never suspected that he might
join him here in his special place. But he was happy that he had. 

Glorfindel smiled at the younger elf and slowly sat down beside him. The two sat in
silence for some minutes, enjoying the peacefulness that had comforted Elrohir
whenever he was in Imladris. Glorfindel found himself, for once, untroubled by the
memory of the lost lady who had once, and perhaps still was, the keeper of his
lover's heart. In truth that was what was really weighing him down. If Elrond faded
and went to Mandos before they reached the undying lands then he would lose his
lover forever. But if he instead went to Aman, regardless of his pain, would he not
wish to be with his loving wife again? Either way it seemed that Glorfindel's heart
was bound to be broken. He would like to believe that Elrond still loved him enough
to stay with him. But as of late, he was not sure of that at all. 

Suddenly Elrohir brought Glorfindel back from his melancholy thoughts. "What is it
like to die?" he asked with a façade of detachment that couldn't even begin to
disguise the fear and indecision that was hidden behind the question. 

"Well," said Glorfindel, not sure of exactly what to say. His experiences with death
were not exactly of the same sort as what Elrohir would experience if he remained in
Middle-Earth and became mortal. No elf knew of the fate of humankind after they
passed out of Arda. "When I died it was simple really. I died in battle. When my
body was consumed, my soul went to Mandos' hall." 

That was really all there was to say. There was no need to tell the younger elf of
the pain that was life in Mandos' Hall, all alone in darkness with nothing to do but
wait. He would not wish that fate upon any elf. Sometimes Glorfindel mused that the
fate of men after death could not be any worse than that of elves, and he often came
to the conclusion that it was probably a lot better. 

But that was not really the answer Elrohir was seeking and there was no one who
could give him that answer. He must decide for himself, and in his heart he knew
that he had already made the decision. But still he feared. "I wish that we had no
choice to make at all," he said sadly in a barely audible whisper. 

"Yes, Elrohir, I know it is hard. But you must do what your heart tells you is
right," said Glorfindel trying to comfort the younger elf. 

"But it seems no matter which choice I make I will hurt someone dear to me. I love
Adar; I truly do. I have never shared Elladan's loathing for him. Oh how I hope he
knows that. I often fear that he thinks I hate him for no apparent reason, as he
thinks Elladan does." 

"He knows you love him!" Glorfindel broke in. "I can assure you that he does. Don't
let such worries add to your sufferings." Glorfindel had spoken with Elrond many
times over the centuries about his sons, and he was telling the truth when he
assured Elrohir that his father knew of his love. Elrond had always been aware that
Elrohir's distance from him was caused only by his love for his brother. That simple
thought had both pained and comforted the Lord for a very long time. 

"I am an elf," Elrohir continued, "I have lived my entire life with no other thought
than to be one of the Eldar forever. We rode amongst men many times during our
lives, but I never took it to heart that I might become one of them. I knew we had a
choice as the Peredhil, but I always assumed that my kin would stay in Middle-Earth
forever. Then there would be no reason to choose. I always had Elladan to worry for
me and Eru knows he does enough of that." 

He was strikingly calm for the emotional state he had been in only minutes before.
Somehow he was able to tell all this to Glorfindel as if he were merely reciting the
positions of a warrior in combat as he had when he was an elfling under the
seneschal's tutelage. 

"To journey to Aman would mean I could continue to be an elf. I know it is what Adar
would have me do; he has made that clear to me since birth. 'If ever I should leave
these shores, my children shall come with me to remain of the Eldar kindred.' I
believe he would wish Elladan to go as well, despite what my brother thinks and the
bad terms they have been on for so many years now. To go to Aman would mean I would
see my mother again. I miss her now as much as ever. But it's Elladan. He's not
going to come, and nothing I can say will change his mind. He hardly talks to me
anymore. I think he's afraid that I'm going to leave him. I don't think I can leave
him, Glorfindel. I don't think I can." Elrohir felt his emotions rising again and he
broke off. He looked into the face of the Elda and saw only compassion there,
compassion and sadness. 

Suddenly it hit him. "Glorfindel, what about you?" he said seriously, even though he
knew his words would probably upset the blond. Everyone was so caught up in their
own struggles that he doubted if anyone else had even thought of Glorfindel. "What
is going to happen when you and Adar go to Aman? Mother is there and he loves you
both." 

Glorfindel was utterly taken aback that this elf who was going through so much
turmoil himself had realized he had troubles as well. Truly Elrohir was a kind soul,
never really thinking of himself. His heart went out to the younger elf then and he
vowed in his own mind to do anything to keep him from harm. "I will be alright,
Elrohir. It is not in our hands what is to be done. I will not blame your father for
what ever choice he makes. Do not worry over me." 

"But Glorfindel, no one should be alone. You should not be alone." 

"Don't worry. Everything will be alright for your father and me, and for you and
your brother. Everything will be just fine. You'll see." He tried to sound as
convincing and optimistic as possible although he really didn't believe it at all. 

"Yes," replied Elrohir. "Perhaps it will be." 

~ 

Elladan had ridden out of Imladris alone soon after Erestor had left his door. He
realized that despite the fact that Sauron was defeated it was undoubtedly still
dangerous to ride out alone beyond the well-guarded borders of Imladris. However at
this point Elladan didn't care. He couldn't stand the last Homely House. He hadn't
been able to since mother left. So here he was galloping full speed through the
forest without any thought of turning back. This was the only way to live; riding as
fast as one could was the only way to escape one's troubles even for just a little
while. 

Suddenly he thought he could make out a camp up ahead. He was gaining fast upon it,
and he knew that he should get off the path before he was seen. The camp could be
anyone's, and not nearly all of the travelers at this time were peaceful with
Imladris elves. But Elladan could find no path to turn off. He was gaining on the
camp, and he would surely be spotted soon. He really should turn his mount around
and head back, but he didn't. At least if he died today there would be no choice to
make. Then Elrohir would go to Aman. 

"Who is it? Is it friend or foe?" asked one of the Lórien archers to his sharp-eyed
companion. 

"It is undoubtedly a foe. Everyone is a foe these days. We destroyed the enemy only
to have Middle Earth overrun by more fleeing evil creatures than ever before," put
in a cynical third elf. 

"It is an elf from Imladris. I can be sure of that much. I am wont to think that it
may be one of the Peredhil twins. But one of the Peredhil twins riding without the
other; that is unheard of," replied the lookout. 

"Well don't just stand there!" said the third archer. "He's gaining fast. What are
we to do?" 

"Well we can't exactly attack him if he's the son of Lord Elrond," replied their
captain. 

"We certainly can't just let him take our heads off now can we?" 

With that the rider swept past the guards, giving no sign of even noticing their
presence. Not far behind them Rúmil had to scowl for the fifth time this very day at
the incompetence of the escort to Imladris that had been afforded him. They spent
far too much time debating and absolutely no time acting. He watched Elladan gallop
by before shouting back at him, "Elladan, wait. Come back friend." 

Elladan abruptly spun his horse around when he recognized his good friend's voice.
He and Elrohir had had many dealings with the March Warden brothers from Lothlórien
over the years, and Rúmil had always been one of his favorite companions. He saw the
silver haired elf standing on the path waving him over. He smiled back and obliged. 

"Hello friend," Rúmil said. "What brings you out alone? I would chide you and tell
you should have an escort." He smirked. "However I'm sure you have noticed how much
good mine does for me. Come sit with me would you, if you have nothing pressing?" 

Elladan dismounted from his horse and embraced his longtime friend. "There is
nothing. I was only going out for a ride to clear my thoughts, but speaking with you
will undoubtedly help me more." Rúmil had always been helpful in all his troubles
over the years. He and Erestor were truly perfect for each other, for they were
exactly alike. Although he knew no one could save him from the melancholy struggle
that currently held sway over his mind, speaking with his friend would probably
offer him the most comfort that he could possibly acquire. 

Rúmil then led Elladan to his tent. He sensed the trouble in Elladan, and he was
worried for his friend. "Come in then. It is so good to see you again. I am on my
way to Imladris myself actually, but it is good to see a familiar face before I
arrive. I have been on the road from Lórien for many days now with only my escort
for company. I've been rather deprived of stimulating conversation." 

"You are coming to join Erestor then? No doubt you will find plenty of stimulating
conversation with him," Elladan replied. He couldn't help but be jealous of his
friend and his former tutor. They had the perfect relationship, and Rúmil was going
to Aman to be with his lover. All the strife that he himself was facing seemed
completely absent for them. 

"Yes," Rúmil replied breaking into a grin at the thought of being with his lover
again. "I plan to arrive in Imladris tomorrow about midday to give Erestor a nice
surprise. If you see him, don't tell him you've seen me. I want to catch him
completely by surprise and give him something more stimulating than my
conversation." 

Elladan couldn't help but snort with laughter at that, and they both laughed
heartily together. No Erestor and Rúmil were not exactly alike. True, they both
could help him through his troubles, but they used completely different tactics.
Erestor soothed by breaching the subject and thoroughly analyzing it. Rúmil helped
him by taking his mind off the subject for a time. However, nothing could take his
mind off the matter at hand. But there was no doubt that Rúmil's presence was
helping him all the same. He was laughing now, after all. He couldn't remember the
last time he had truly laughed. It was probably before the council, before the end
began. With the war and now this situation there had not been many instances when he
had felt like laughing. Yet here he was laughing at a mere reference to blissful
bedroom activities from a longtime friend. The experience was very uplifting to say
the least. 

"Support him, Elladan. He's going to need you now more than ever." Rúmil suddenly
became serious. 

Elladan was taken aback by that. How could Rúmil have known what was happening? He
was sure his expression was giving away his confusion. It was unlike Rúmil to be so
forward. 

"Really Elladan, you don't think that I wouldn't know what is going on do you?"
Rúmil said when he saw Elladan's expression. "I've been your friend for centuries. I
know what it is you face. I do not need the Lady's gift for that. I do not even need
Erestor's sight to see it." 

"Am I that obvious?" replied Elladan. He had tried to hide his pain from everyone
for so long. Until today when he had been so cruel to his brother he had thought he
had done a fairly good job of it. But here was his friend whom he had not seen in
months reading him like a book. 

"No not really. You must remember whom I fraternize with, and I know you well. I
know both of you well." 

"What am I supposed to do then? I have searched my mind for answers, but I can find
none. There is no path that will have a good end. I do not know what to do." 

"Elladan, all you can do is to make your own choice. The choices of those around you
are not for you to make for them." 

"My own choice has been made. It is for him I fear. I would have him go to Aman. I'm
not selfish, Rúmil. I want is best for him. But." he broke off. 

Rúmil reached out and covered his friend's trembling hand with his own and looked
into those sad gray eyes. "I know, Elladan, I know. No one will blame you for
wanting to have him with you. Instead you are to be commended for having the
strength to wish him to live on." 

What he said was true. Rúmil could hardly believe the sacrifice it seemed Elladan
was willing to make. He had never really understood why Elladan felt that he could
not go to Aman, but that was beside the point. Rúmil doubted he would have the
strength to send Erestor on without him. Yet here was Elladan, the one whom everyone
called selfish, willing to send his true love to Aman without him rather than doom
him to a life, and moreover a death, that he did not truly want. In all his years in
Middle Earth Rúmil had never seen such courage. 

"He's going to stay with me. He told me just today in a fit of passion that he will
go where I go. I hate myself for being relieved. I hate myself for wanting him with
me. It seems that nothing I do convinces him to make the journey. I fear it is only
because I do not really wish it. I cannot bear to think that I condemn him to
death." 

"No Elladan that is where you are mistaken. You cannot make his choice for him and
neither can he make yours." 

They sat in silence for a time before Elladan said, "You are too good to me, Rúmil.
What have I done to deserve a friend as good as you?" 

"Don't forget my friend that you have done the same for me in the past. Now go to
him! Go and tell him you love him. Go now for it is getting dark." 

They got up and embraced again before they headed out to Elladan's horse. 

"Thank you friend, you have been very kind," Elladan said in parting before he
headed on his way. 

~ 

Glorfindel had left the garden feeling much better. He knew he should apologize to
Erestor, but right now he needed to see Elrond. Undoubtedly the encounter would only
depress him, they always did now. His lover hardly made any response to him anymore.
For centuries the two had slept every night intertwined together after passionate
lovemaking. Now Elrond simply curled up on the edge of the bed and fell asleep
hardly taking any notice of his mate. 

Glorfindel realized that his lover was under a lot of stress, and he had tried
everything imaginable to support him. But the stress was definitely getting to him,
also. It was going to be another long sleepless night for the blond although he
supposed just being near him was better than nothing. His lover hadn't banned him
from his sight, at least. Perhaps hope wasn't all together lost. He had told Elrohir
that everything would be alright. He doubted it would be for any of them, but at
least he could still hope. Without hope there would be nothing left. 

When Glorfindel reached the chambers that he shared with Elrond he knocked softly
before going in. He was struck that he was knocking at his own chamber door. It
hadn't always been this way, but now every move from him must be examined least it
might upset his lover. 

Elrond was sitting in his chair reading yet another book of lore. The elf lord had
always been the studious type, but lately it had all but consumed him. He hardly
ever left the room, and if he did it was likely that he was headed towards the
library to get another volume. He actually looked up from the page when Glorfindel
came through the door. That was a good sign. He fixed his gaze on the blond for a
moment, as if to acknowledge his presence, before returning to the book before him. 

Glorfindel smiled at his lover like he always did. There was silence for a time as
Elrond read, or at least appeared to be reading. Sometimes Glorfindel thought that
perhaps the elf lord stared at the book but did not even fathom the words.
Glorfindel changed into his sleeping robes and was removing the plaits from his long
golden hair when he was startled by the sound of his lover's voice. 

"Have you seen my sons lately?" 

The question was simple. It was hardly a conversation, but still Glorfindel felt
like weeping from joy. That was how bad things had become between the two of them.
Mere words from his lover were a huge victory for the blond. 

"They are here in Imladris. I spoke with Elrohir in the gardens today, in fact," he
replied cheerfully. 

"That is good. I need to speak with them soon, particularly Elrohir." Elrond had had
enough. He had to speak. He couldn't remember exactly when he had last spoken with
anyone, but it had been days for sure. "I believe I lost Elladan's love centuries
ago, but I still hope that my youngest son loves me enough to come with me." 

He stopped after that. What was he doing talking like this? He tried to hide his
pain, but he knew that it was no use. He knew that hurt was radiating from his eyes
for he saw it reflected back at him as concern in his blond lover's eyes. Ever since
he had let his daughter go, life had been unbearable. He was fairly certain that his
eldest son would steal from him the last of his children who still might make the
journey with him. And what of Glorfindel, Celebrian, all of Middle Earth? It was all
too much for the elf lord to take. He couldn't even think clearly. 

Glorfindel, seeing the pain in Elrond's eyes was filled with new hope. His lover
never showed his pain; he spent all his efforts in hiding it. Yet here he was
speaking to him about his fears, if only just a bit. It was definitely a start.
Glorfindel was a warrior; he knew how to press the advantage when he had it. Being
timid had gotten him nowhere as of late with Elrond. He was going to have to be bold
to get a reaction from him. 

With that logic in his mind, he walked slowly across the room and stood behind his
lover's chair. Elrond took no outward note of his lover's actions, and Glorfindel
took that as a good sign. He lowered his hands into Elrond's shoulders. He felt his
lover jump, but surprisingly he didn't pull away. Perhaps this was going to work
after all. 

The elf lord sitting before him was incredibly tense, and who wouldn't be if they
spent all of their time in a wicker chair? Slowly and gently Glorfindel began to
massage the tension out. Still Elrond did not object, instead he even seemed to be
enjoying it. Elrond had always loved it when Glorfindel did this to him after a long
stressful day of running Imladris. As Glorfindel's confidence grew he began to move
his hands in a sensual dance across his lover's back. There was no doubt that Elrond
was enjoying this. He was arching his back up into the blond's hands. This was
definitely progress. 

Elrond had been surprised when Glorfindel had crept up behind him. He wanted to tell
the blond to stop, but when he felt the other elf's hands on him he couldn't make
himself protest. It felt so good to be touched by his beloved. His hands made the
tension go away not only from his body, but also from his mind. His lover had always
had a knack for doing that to him. So he allowed the blond to continue his
ministrations, all the while telling himself that he would put a stop to it in just
a moment. But 'just a moment' did not come. 

When Glorfindel grew confident that Elrond wasn't going to pull away he bent his
head forwards and gently teased his lover's right ear tip with his lips. He felt
Elrond tense, but it wasn't a surprised kind of tension. Whether in his mind Elrond
still loved him or not, Glorfindel was uncertain, but there was no doubt that his
body did. At this point Glorfindel was willing to take any sign of affection that he
could get from his lover. 

He continued the light, teasing ministrations on Elrond's most sensitive spot while
he let his hands slip down to the other elf's chest. There was no denying it now;
Elrond was definitely reacting to his touch. Glorfindel was in heaven. He had not
felt his lover in his arms in much too long. He let instinct take over and soon
found himself kissing down Elrond's jaw line. 

Elrond gave himself up to the feeling of Glorfindel's soft mouth teasing his
sensitive skin. Unable to help himself he parted his lips in anticipation. 

Like a flash Glorfindel pounced covering Elrond's mouth with his own. He snaked his
way around the chair so he was now kneeling before his lover, never breaking
contact. Yes, this was it; this was all he needed to feel that everything was
alright. He ran his tongue lightly over Elrond's teeth, asking for entrance into his
lover's hot mouth. Not only did the other elf oblige him, but also he found his
tongue sparing with another. Elrond's hands were on him now, teasing his body into
full arousal. 

Glorfindel found himself overcome with the bliss of his lover's touch, his hot mouth
on his own, and the soft tongue that was entangling with his almost violently, now.
It had been much too long. 

Elrond knew he was enjoying this too much. He had vowed to himself not to fall into
the temptation that was his gorgeous blond lover. Yet here he was kissing and being
kissed like there was no tomorrow. And worst of all he was thoroughly enjoying it.
Another moment and he would be lost for good. There would be no rational thought
left in his mind, only the heat of passion. He wanted this so badly. He wanted
nothing but to be close to the other elf. His hands were on Glorfindel now. His
lover was just as aroused as he was. Yes, he wanted this. 

No, his body wanted this, not him. Reason flooded his passion-drugged senses. They
could not do this. Suddenly he pulled back from Glorfindel and set his lips that had
become bruised and red under the other's ministrations in a firm line. "No," he said
firmly and practically shoved the other elf away from him. The look of anguish on
his lover's face pained him straight to his heart. He did want to make Glorfindel
happy, but he just couldn't. His tormented mind would not let him feel the bliss of
joining with his lover. The dark thoughts that troubled him would not let him go. 

Glorfindel fell back unto the floor his mouth agape with surprise. Only a moment
before he had been passionately kissing his lover as if nothing had changed. There
had been no doubt in his mind that Elrond had wanted his touch as much as he had
wanted his. Why then had the elf pushed him away like that? What had he done to
deserve this scorn? As far as Glorfindel knew he had been the ideal loving and
supportive mate, but Elrond was treating him no better than a common harlot of whom
he wanted nothing to do with. It pained him deeper than he had ever known. Dying in
shadow and flame was nothing compared to rejection from the one he had pledged his
heart to. 

Glorfindel's eyes shone with tears. It took all the strength he had to maintain his
composure to rise from the floor and walk over to the bed. He was defeated. Elrond
really didn't want him anymore. If he could push him away even in the heat of
passion then there really was no passion. They needed to talk about this. But even
if he thought Elrond would be willing to speak of it now, Glorfindel doubted he had
the strength. He simply climbed into the bed and pulled the blanket up to his chin.
He curled his legs up to his chest and made himself as small as possible with his
back to his love. It took all of his strength to hold back the sobs that wanted to
rack his frame. He could not let Elrond see that he was hurting so much as to weep.
If Elrond didn't care about him, then he would not burden him by making his grief
known. He was Glorfindel, the balrog slayer. He had never been one to weep. Yet this
was the second time in one day that he had succumbed to tears. The silent tears ran
down his face. He did not see that Elrond also had tears of sadness overflowing from
his own eyes. 

~ 

Elladan entered the chambers that he shared with his brother. Elrohir was already
lying on the bed, although he wasn't asleep. He looked at Elladan through the
darkness, but even with elven vision he could not make out his lover's expression.
He wanted to be held and comforted by the only one who could truly comfort him. He
wanted his Elladan. What happened tomorrow would be tomorrow's problem. For now he
just wanted to be with his love. 

Elladan was surprised that Elrohir wasn't ignoring him when he walked in. In a
similar situation Elladan himself would undoubtedly be haughty and unkind. That
would never happen though. Elrohir was never as cruel as he had been. He was always
caring and supportive, and all he asked for in return was his brother's love.
Elladan felt that he had failed his lover in the worst possible way. He knew he had
treated his brother very badly, and he was terribly sorry for it. His talk with
Rúmil had made him see that he must cherish every moment that they had rather than
push Elrohir away in the hope of saving him. "I'm sorry," he whispered through the
darkness. In spite of all his eloquence that was the only thing he could bring
himself to say. 

Elrohir smiled, "Come here, Dan." Elladan walked over and sat down shyly on the edge
of the bed. Elrohir laughed softly and grabbed his brother. "No silly, come here."
He pulled Elladan so that he was on resting atop him. 

Elladan straddled his hips and gently kissed his brother on the tip of his nose.
"You are too kind to me, love," he said. "I have been awful, and I do not deserve
your love." He buried his face in his twin's shoulder sadly. The muffled sound that
escaped resembled, "Please forgive me." 

"Shh, brother," Elrohir soothed, gently stroking his hair, "now is not the time for
words. Please, just kiss me now." 

Elladan looked up surprised. But he wasn't going to question good fortune. If his
lover still wanted him after what he had done, then he would have him. The look in
Elrohir's eyes was one of pure love and need. Elladan swiftly captured his brother's
mouth in a hungry kiss. 

Elrohir responded just as passionately. He snaked his arms around Elladan's
shoulders and pulled his brother down onto him. There was nothing quite as fitting
for him than to feel his twin's body, so like his own, pressed against him. The
contact always served to arouse him immediately, and this time was no exception. As
Elladan's tongue explored his mouth and caressed his tongue, he felt desire burning
deep within him. He needed this, not just now, but for the rest of his life. His
brother was the only one that could make him feel whole. 

Elladan felt his brother's arousal against his stomach, and he was just as hard. He
broke up their passionate kiss to explore Elrohir's body. He ran his tongue across
his cheek onto his sensitive ear. He nibbled it lightly and gently blew his warm
breath onto the damp tip. As always, this drove his brother wild with lust. 

Elrohir moaned and reached up to grab the headboard. He needed his brother now.
"Please Dan don't tease," he pleaded with his lover. 

Elladan kissed him lightly on the lips before trailing his mouth down his body. He
went as slowly as he could bear. He was teasing despite his brother's plea. He knew
that if he drew this out for as long as they both could stand that the final release
would be all the better. But he also was aching with need. When his mouth reached
its destination on his brother's arousal he felt Elrohir shudder with need. 

"Yes brother please don't stop," Elrohir nearly shouted. He was squirming beneath
Elladan. His lover's mouth on him was so hot. He grabbed his brother's hand and
sucked his fingers getting them moist so they could do their work. And then
Elladan's fingers left his mouth and were probing at his entrance. The sweet bliss
of the double stimulation was overcoming him. He wasn't going to last long.
"Hurry.need you now," were the only words he could string together, and Elladan did
not disappoint him. 

Once they were joined together they certainly did not last long. Elladan knew that
there was no other creature on the face of Arda who could give him such bliss. There
was nothing more beautiful in his eyes than the sight of his dear Elrohir moving
beneath him in pleasure and moaning with desire. Much too soon they were both spent.
They cried out their release together as a single voice, a single declaration of
undying love. 

Elladan swiftly cleaned them up before collapsing alongside his lover. They lay in
silence, arms wrapped around each other, as close as they could possibly get. Now
their kisses were chaste and loving, and they snuggled tightly together as they
slowly drifted off to sleep. 

Elrohir felt his brother close to him, and he knew that he could never live without
him. They were one being, and without his other half he could never be happy.
Tomorrow could be the day that Adar came to ask for them to come with him. Tomorrow
might be the coming of strife. Yet until Anor rose they were safe. For now as they
lay together no harm would come to them. With those thoughts in his mind he drifted
off to sleep with his head snuggled against his lover's chest. 

Elladan felt his brother fall asleep. He held Elrohir possessively. He felt as if he
could not let him go, ever. But he would let him go. He loved him so much that he
would. Nothing could change that. Yet his last thought before he drifted off was
that he wanted to be with his brother forever. 

But there was to be no forever together for the sons of Elrond. 

Part 2



When Elladan awoke the next morning, Anor's rays were shining through the window and
resting on the forms of him and his sleeping twin. His brother's head was resting on
his chest and his arms were wrapped tightly around him. Elladan smiled. Elrohir
certainly knew how to make him feel needed. He gently stroked his sleeping lover's
raven hair and found himself humming a tune he had heard the Hobbits singing before
the Council. He was humming. That was rather surprising, but then again having
Elrohir close could do amazing things to his spirits. 

Elrohir stirred under his brother's tender ministrations. He was delighted to hear
his love humming softly. Undoubtedly today was going to be a better day for the two
than yesterday had been. There would be no petty fights to be reconnoitered at days
end. He smiled and hugged his Elladan tighter as he gained full consciousness. "Love
you," he mumbled between morning yawns. 

"I love you too, Ro," Elladan replied, leaning down to lightly kiss his brother's
forehead. "Do you forgive me?" he asked remorsefully. He needed the assurance that
Elrohir didn't hold his foolish actions the day before against him. He had been so
selfish ignoring his love in his time of need. He knew that Elrohir had already
forgiven him, but still he needed to hear it from his beloved's lips. 

"Elladan, of course I forgive you." Elrohir hated to see his brother distressed. "I
thought I had made that clear last night. It is forgiven and forgotten." He was glad
to see the relieved smile on his lover's lips. "Just one thing though," he began. 

"And what is that?" Elladan inquired. He would do anything his brother asked of him,
save making the journey to Aman. That he could not do. It was a grief that he could
not overcome, even for love of his twin. 

"Don't ever do it again. I need you with me. Don't shun me when you're hurting. Let
me comfort you instead." 

"Agreed brother. You have my word," Elladan replied, relieved that his brother's
request had not been as he had feared. He wrapped his arms tightly around Elrohir's
waist and pulled him up on top of him. "You are too sweet," he said kissing his
brother's cheek. "What made you come to your senses?" Elrohir asked out of the blue,
as he relished his brother's ministrations. Elladan was currently sucking on his
neck, and he was reluctant to interrupt him. However he was curious and he would
likely forget to ask if he let his mind be taken over by passion before he got his
answer. 

"Rúmil," Elladan replied, hardly removing his mouth from his lover's skin long
enough to say it. 

"Really Dan, you're eager enough. I'm trying to have a serious conversation with
you, and you can't even be bothered to pay attention." Elrohir wasn't really annoyed
at all. He was thoroughly enjoying what his lover was doing to him, but if they
didn't stop soon they would spend the whole day in bed. "Come now Dan, we need to
talk and you know it. It's not going to do us any good to simply pretend it isn't
there," Elrohir chided his lover softly. 

Elladan groaned, but he obliged his brother and ceased his passionate enterprises.
"What is there to say that has not already been said?" 

"Plenty, but first get up." Elrohir sat up and captured his brother's hands in his.
He moved off their bed pulling Elladan upright as he did so. Ever since they were
elflings the only way to get Elladan out of bed in the morning was to literally drag
him out of it. 

Elladan groaned but obliged. He sat on the edge of the bed watching Elrohir shuffle
in the wardrobe. "What's the big rush to get dressed? There is no patrol to join, no
Council to oversee, nowhere to run off to, we may do as we please." 

Elrohir looked over his shoulder at his brother. "Ada may visit us today," he said
quietly. He tossed a shirt and leggings to Elladan before quickly donning his own. 

Elladan caught the offending garments easily. He pulled the shirt over his head
before replying, "That's what you said yesterday. That's what you will say tomorrow.
Why do we not just go to him, make our decisions known, and let it be done with?" 

"No," Elrohir shook his head decisively. "Things are not well with Ada. He will come
to us when he is prepared to hear our decision. We should not force it upon him
before that." In truth Elrohir was dreading the moment that he would have to voice
his decision to his father. He didn't want to see the hurt on his face or the
disappointment in his voice. 

"You could give me the answer he wants, you know," Elladan said simply. 

"As could you, brother," Elrohir shot back. This was a frivolous way to talk about
it and they both knew that they would make no progress if they continued that tack.
The easiest way to get Elladan to come off it was to suggest that he change his mind
as well. His brother had made it quite clear that he had no intention of doing so. 

Elladan's face saddened considerably as he mused over how much easier things would
be for all of them if he could only take that step. But he could not do that; the
guilt was too near to his heart to think of traveling to Aman. "I've told you
brother, I cannot make the journey." 

"And I've told you that my decision is to stay with you. If you do not want me to
try and change your decision then please show me the same courtesy." Elrohir turned
away and walked out onto the balcony of their chamber. He knew that Elladan meant
well, but nothing was going to change his mind. He wished his brother would simply
accept that he would stay and support him in his decision. 

Elladan moved up behind his brother and encircled his arms around his waist.
"Darling, I just want you to be happy that's all. I just have to be sure that you
are making this decision for you and not for me. I want you with me, but more than
anything I want you to be happy. I wanted to make your decision for you, but that's
not my right. Just know that if you want to go to Aman I would support you." 

Elrohir relaxed into his lover's arms. "I know. I have thought long of the impending
choice, and while part of me would wish to go, I could never be happy without you.
Eternity without you would be no life at all. If you are staying in Middle Earth
then there is no choice to make. I shall stay with you, and nothing will change
that." 

Elladan kissed his brother lightly on the cheek. "As much as I hate myself for
feeling it, I am relieved that you will stay with me. You are my other half and even
a mortal life without you would be too long away from the one I love." 

"Do not chide yourself for feeling it, love. We are bound whether the Valar would
bless our union or not. We are one soul. I want this; my heart wants this." 

His brother's words flooded Elladan with a million emotions at once. He was relieved
and elated, but the feeling of sadness was far from leaving his mind. He was at a
loss for a reply worthy of his lover's declaration. But the only words that he could
muster summed up his feelings just as well as any other that he might ever fathom.
"I love you, more than words can say." 

~ 

Glorfindel awoke to find that he had indeed been able to find sleep the night
before. He realized that he was alone in the bed, and he was instantly wide awake
with worry. He sat up quickly and was relived to see Elrond asleep in his chair. At
least the half-elf hadn't done anything rash. That had been Glorfindel's fear for a
while, that all this grief his lover was keeping inside of him might come to the
surface with disastrous results. However, things were definitely getting even worse
if Elrond was resorting to sleeping in his uncomfortable chair instead of in the bed
with him. Something had to be done. His lover was obviously hurting, and he had
plenty of reasons to be hurting. But why would he not let himself he comforted? It
made no sense to Glorfindel at all. 

Glorfindel sat up in the bed and brushed his messy blond hair away from his face. As
relief from his momentary panic settled in, he became fully aware of what had
transpired the night before. The memory of how his lover had forced him away swiftly
turned his relief back to panic. What is life without Elrond? There had been
centuries of life before he and Elrond had become lovers, but those days had been
plagued by the painful memories of happiness from his former life. It had been hard
for him to continue to live while the only thought in his mind had been of his
former lover Ecthelion, who was still in the Halls of Waiting. 

Elrond had saved him; in truth it was not Mandos who had restored him to life, it
was Elrond. Elrond had given him a home in Imladris, been a trusted friend, and
finally released him from his pain by becoming his lover. Glorfindel could not
imagine eternity without Elrond, but the other elf's behavior seemed to prove that
was exactly what Elrond had in mind. 

Glorfindel crawled slowly out of the bed, and made his way over to the wardrobe to
dress for the day. Elrond was fast asleep sitting up in the chair. His eyes were
closed, something that only happened when the half-elf was thoroughly exhausted.
Glorfindel was careful to make as little noise as possible so as not to disturb the
other elf. He was in no mood for a confrontation this early in the morning. He just
needed to get away from everything and think. 

Elrond did not stir as Glorfindel dressed. He was still asleep, or at least he
appeared to be, as far as Glorfindel could tell. That was strange, as Elrond would
often wake when Glorfindel made the slightest movement in the night. But Glorfindel
decided not to question his good fortune that he was not going to have to deal with
Elrond now. Instead he donned his shirt and leggings, braided his hair, and swiftly
left the room. 

He left the last Homely House in favor of walking beneath Ithil's rays. As he left
the house he caught sight of two figures embracing on a balcony above him. He shaded
his eyes from the glare of Ithil and saw that it was none other than Elladan and
Elrohir. Elrohir shot him a smile and waved to him. Glorfindel waved back and
couldn't help but smile also when he saw Elladan give his brother a tender kiss on
the cheek. It was obvious that the two had settled their differences. Glorfindel
couldn't help but be a bit envious of the younger elves' relationship. When they
disagreed, which was seldom to begin with, they were apart for a day or two at most
before making up and all but forgot about the trouble. 

He wished that his relationship were quite so simple. Elrond had been distant since
the War of the Ring had begun, and since the return from Arwen's wedding nearly a
month before, things had been as they were now between them. 

As he reached the onset of the forest surrounding the house he caught sight of a
host from Lórien. He was certain that it must be Rúmil arriving to join Erestor for
their journey to Aman. Erestor would undoubtedly be very happy to see his lover. He
cringed when he recalled the harsh words be had used to his friend the day before.
He really owed Erestor an apology for his harsh retort when his friend was only
trying to help. But this was not the time to do so, as Erestor was certainly going
to be thoroughly occupied with blissful activities. 

Rúmil caught sight of Glorfindel as he and his escort at last came in sight of the
last Homely House. He smiled and headed over to greet the other elf. "Hello friend,
I hope I find you well." 

"Come now friend, don't waste your time out here talking to me. There is a certain
elf stuck inside sorting scrolls, who has been awaiting your arrival for weeks." 

Rúmil embraced Glorfindel quickly before replying, "I suppose you're right. I should
be going. But you won't be rid of me forever. You will be subjected to my company
before long." He shot Glorfindel a friendly grin before hurriedly heading for the
house. 

Glorfindel smiled at the silver haired elf's retreating form. How could anyone help
but adore the kind and generous creature that was Erestor's lover? What on the face
of Arda had possessed him to say those awful things about him the day before? 

Glorfindel thought aloud, though no one could hear, "It is good that they have the
perfect love, for they deserve it so much more than I." 

~ 

Elrond was surprised that Glorfindel had actually taken him to be asleep. In truth
he had not slept a single moment throughout the night. Being half-elven had its
advantages. It was a good deal simpler to feign sleep by closing his eyes than
trying to fake the glassy far-off look of a sleeping elf. He hardly ever slept that
way, but apparently Glorfindel had believed him truly asleep. That was good because
that was his intention. 

Elrond was at a loss for what to do, so the only thing he could do was to avoid the
situation at all costs. Last night had been a mistake. He should never have allowed
it to get so far. And the hurt in Glorfindel's eyes had nearly broken his heart in
two right then and there. That was what had haunted him all night long. That one
glance of anguish from his lover had touched him deeper than any past hurt. 

Glorfindel was still his beloved. Glorfindel was the one who had set him free from
all the pain that he had suffered. Life had not been kind to Elrond; many close
friends as well as lovers had been taken from him. Glorfindel had always been good
to him first as a friend and later as a lover. 

"How could I have let this happen?" He mused aloud to himself. Glorfindel deserved
so much more than this. When they had finally become lovers, Elrond had been too
consumed with passion to think that this might one day come to pass. All he knew was
that he loved the blond with an all-consuming passion. He had buried his pain in
their new relationship. He had tried to forget, and in doing so he had wronged
Glorfindel. 

He couldn't bear to see his lover sad, especially a sadness that he himself had
caused. Yet it was for Glorfindel's own sake that he pushed him away. If only
Glorfindel would leave him on his own terms then Elrond wouldn't need to fear for
him. It pained him more than he had ever been troubled before to do so, but it was
the only way to set things right. He could see no other way. He had made a mistake
and he would be punished, but Glorfindel had done no wrong. 

His sons were another matter. He knew what Elladan's choice would be but Elrohir, he
hoped, would make the journey. But in his heart he knew and feared that it was not
to be so. His sons were closer than anyone else knew, closer even then they
themselves knew. He had never condemned their relationship; his conscience would not
allow him to. He saw so much of himself in it. 

He could hardly comprehend the thought of losing them. They had been distant for
centuries, but they were still here, still alive. To lose them to mortal death would
be more than just losing his sons. 

Middle Earth had judged Elladan for taking his brother as his lover. Falsehoods
abounded in the realms of elves and men alike of how Elladan the selfish deceiver
had seduced Elrohir the innocent away from his home and family. Elladan had always
voiced to anyone that would listen that his father had been the first to condemn
him. Though Elladan believed it was so, Elrond had never blamed his son for that.
Neither had he condemned his son for any other wrong. 

If it hadn't been for that one fateful day, then perhaps it would not be happening.
Elladan would go to Aman, and Elrohir would be freed from the choice as well. That
was what Elrond feared, that Elrohir would stay for Elladan. He himself might have
become mortal for Elros if circumstances had been different, and the bond of his
sons was closer even than his was with his long dead brother. He did not want to
lose his sons to the same fate that had taken his beloved Elros away from him. 

It seemed to him that the very circumstances which had surrounded their lives, and
which would make his remaining children mortal, may well have been chosen for them
from the beginning. 

~ 

Erestor was becoming very fed up with the task at hand. There were multiple scrolls
and books recording even the most mundane occurrences of history, and it was up to
him to decide which of those would make the journey. It was at times like these,
when he was feeling particularly lazy, that Erestor mused that he could justify not
bringing any written materials at all. Surely the Valar knew everything anyway. But
Erestor knew better than to simply leave all the texts behind. In truth, that was
what was causing him so much vexation. If it were up to him, the entire Imladris
library would go to Aman. However, he doubted that even Cirdan's fleet would be up
to the task of transporting the extensive collection. 

But right now Erestor's mind was far away from books. His mind was reeling with the
many possible outcomes of their situation. The twins would reconnoiter as they
always did, but that would not change the question. Elrohir would be torn between
his brother and elvenkind. Erestor had little doubt which choice the younger elf
would make, but what of Elladan? 

He had heard Elladan's declaration the day before. Elladan the deceitful should
really be called Elladan the noble. He had always wondered what it was that had hurt
Elladan so. He saw the guilt in the younger elf's eyes; he saw the pain that
radiated from his form. For all their trusted friendship, Elladan had never confided
in him about it. But Erestor had a deep suspicion that it was this pain that was
keeping the elder twin from making the journey. 

Erestor was tired, tired of working, tired of thinking. He needed a rest. In truth
what he really needed was Rúmil. He had not seen his lover in far too long. If Rúmil
were with him, then life would not be quite so hard to stay in control of. 

There was also Glorfindel and Elrond to worry about. Glorfindel was on the edge of
falling apart completely and not without reason. Erestor was just as clueless about
the change in Elrond as the other elf. There was no doubt that Elrond was hurting,
but he had always worked through his pain with love for Glorfindel. There had to be
something deeper hurting Elrond than the impending journey and mortality of all his
children. But try as he might, Erestor could find no hint of what it was. He had
hoped that Glorfindel would finally get through to his lover, but as of yesterday
that had proved a false hope. Time was running out, and so were Erestor's ideas. 

Erestor was suddenly startled from his thoughts when two soft hands covered his
eyes. He nearly leapt up in fright; he had not even heard anyone come in. He was
about to prepare for a struggle when he heard a familiar voice whisper in his ear,
"Guess who." 

Erestor spun around quickly, but instead of attacking an enemy he met his lover's
lips in a searing, passionate kiss. He pulled Rúmil possessively unto his lap and
wrapped his arms around him, never breaking their kiss. He thrust his tongue into
the hot mouth that was waiting for it. All other thoughts left his mind as he became
fully aware that his beloved had at last arrived. 

Rúmil settled into his lover's lap. This was where he belonged, in Erestor's arms
with Erestor's mouth on his. He sucked greedily on the other elf's tongue when it
entered his mouth, causing Erestor to moan with pleasure around their kiss. 

When they were forced to break their kiss, they were both gasping for air and hot
with desire. Their time apart had caused them both to be saddled with a need that
could only be satisfied in each other's arms. 

Daintily Rúmil climbed out of his lover's arms and flounced provocatively to the
library door. He quickly shut the door and turned the key in the lock. He turned
back to Erestor and shot him a coy grin. 

Erestor was up and striding across the room in a flash. No words were needed between
them. The idea of joining with his lover in the Imladris library amongst all these
books had a certain erotic appeal that had him more aroused than he was to begin
with. 

Rúmil met him half way, and before they had time to think they had collapsed on the
soft rug in each other's arms. Rúmil climbed astride Erestor and leaned down to
capture his lips in another demanding kiss. 

"I missed you," Rúmil gasped out when they at last broke the kiss as his lungs
welcomed the burst of air. He rested his head on his lover's chest and looked
mischievously into his eyes. "I wonder, did you miss me?" he said teasingly. He
smirked at his lover and provokingly ran his hand down from his chest into the
other's robes. The feather light touch made Erestor moan with need. When Rúmil's
hand reached his arousal he gasped. "Ah, it seems you did miss me indeed," Rúmil
said, as he felt his lover hard and ready for him. He agonizingly slowly divested
the other elf and himself of their clothes. When they were both naked Rúmil leaned
down and pressed his skin against his lover's. 

"I love you," Erestor crooned to Rúmil, pressing kisses against his lover's chest,
"and I missed you." Rúmil's hand on his erection was driving him mad with lust. He
needed to be inside Rúmil now. He needed to be one with the elf that owned his
heart. He thrust up against Rúmil as he kissed down his lover's neck. "I missed you
so much." 

The feeling of Erestor thrusting against him and into his hand was too much for
Rúmil. He was overcome with passion. He needed Erestor inside of him. He moved his
hands up to Erestor's shoulders. He heard Erestor whimper at the loss of his hand,
but he quickly replaced it with his own arousal rubbing against that of his lover.
Erestor's whimper soon turned into a moan of passion. Their mouths met again as they
drove their bodies together in passion. 

Suddenly without warning Rúmil quickly rolled them over so that Erestor was on top
of him. "Show me how much you've missed me Erestor," he said. "I need you now." 

Erestor was more than happy to oblige. 

~ 

"Did you hear that, brother? It seems the elusive March Warden has finally arrived."
Elrohir grinned at his brother as sounds that were easily identified as passionate
lovemaking met their ears. 

Elladan's eyes widened. "Is that coming from the library?" he asked in disbelief. He
could hardly imagine his former tutor engaging in carnal activities beneath the gaze
of his precious books. 

Elrohir, eager to find out as well, opened their chamber door slightly and listened.
"Yes, they are most definitely in the library." He was shutting the door when a cry
of passion that sounded distinctly like "Rúmil!" filtered in through the crack.
Elladan grinned and said, "It seems that Rúmil's surprise went well." On meeting his
twin's confused look he added, "I met him while riding in the woods yesterday. He
told me not to tell Erestor of his arrival because he wanted to surprise him. But
you'd think they would have more discretion. Anyone could hear them if they were
only here to listen." 

"But there is no one to listen; everyone else has left for the Havens save Ada,
Glorfindel, and a few stray border guards. Why should they not do as they please?
These last days have undoubtedly been as hard for Erestor as they have been for us."


"Always the compassionate voice of reason, aren't you brother." It wasn't really a
question at all. He grabbed Elrohir's hand in his. "Come on it's too nice a day to
be cooped up in the house. We've wasted enough of it already, and your horse hasn't
been out since our return from Gondor." 

Elrohir did not protest and simply let himself be led by his beloved. His thoughts
did not stray to the impending meeting with Ada, or to his fate as a mortal. His
only thoughts were that he was with the one he loved, and that was all that
mattered. 

~ 

"I didn't even know you were on your way. Why didn't you send word?" Erestor asked
his lover who was resting his head on his shoulder. He ran his hand through the
silky silver tresses, damp from the exertion of their passion. 

"I wanted to surprise you." 

"It was a very nice surprise. But how did you know I was in here?" 

"Glorfindel told me. I met him as I arrived." 

Erestor was not at all pleased to hear that his friend was wandering around outside,
instead of with Elrond, but it was to be expected. "Tell me, how did Glorfindel look
to you?" 

Rúmil frowned, "Like all of Arda had suddenly come crashing down on him. What has
happened to him, Erestor?" 

Erestor sighed and replied, "His relationship with Elrond is not going altogether
well. After the return from Gondor, Elrond became very distant from everyone, and
Glorfindel is taking the worst of it." 

"Is it not understandable that Elrond would become despondent? He did after all just
give his daughter over to mortality, he is leaving Middle Earth forever, and there
is also the loss of his sons to consider." 

Erestor looked up in surprise. "You know of Elladan and Elrohir's choice?" He did
not know that anyone else knew. Middle earth certainly had never expected that the
twin sons of Elrond would become mortal and pass out of existence, and though Rúmil
was a trusted friend, he had never heard of the Pedrehil discussing their
forthcoming choice with anyone. 

"I met Elladan on the road yesterday. There is no doubt that he will stay when the
time comes, and from what he said to me I gather that Elrohir's path is with his
brother." 

"He spoke of it to you?" Erestor was surprised and somewhat hurt as well by that
revelation. He had always trusted that Elladan would come to him if he felt he
needed to speak of it. 

"Only because I was there when he was at last overcome by the need to speak of it.
His only care seemed to be for Elrohir. He fears that his brother would rather go. I
told him that his brother's fate was out of his hands, and all he could do was
support him in his choice." 

Erestor nodded approvingly. Even if Elladan had not confided in him, at least he had
chosen one who gave him the same answer. "I don't think I could have said it better
myself. You should have been an advisor instead of a March Warden you know." 

Rúmil laughed softly. "I learned it all from you beloved." He paused before
continuing on a more somber note. "Middle earth has greatly misjudged Elladan. Do
you know, Erestor, why he will not go?" The question had been in his mind since his
conversation with Elladan the evening before. He knew that there had been a great
rift between father and son many years ago. It was assumed that it was over Elrohir,
but there was no proof of that. 

"No, I have never known what really happened. But something happened, bigger than
his incestuous union. That much I know, though I doubt that any person knows what it
is save Elladan and Elrond. There is some guilt in Elladan that does not sleep." 

"I wish I knew what it was. I hate suffering. Suffering should be gone now that the
shadow of evil is past, but it seems that suffering has hardly even begun for some.
Perhaps Aman will be nicer than here." 

"Do not worry for Elladan and Elrohir. If Elladan heeds your advice then they will
be alright. As long as Elrohir is with him, his pain will be bearable. If they are
together, then it is for Elrond and Glorfindel that we should fear instead. I have
never seen Elrond cut off Glorfindel. It worries me that he will not share his pain
with his beloved." 

"We should go and see Glorfindel. He should not have to hurt alone," Rúmil replied
simply. He moved to sit up, but Erestor's arm around him stopped him. "Come on, get
up." 

Erestor groaned. "I'm exhausted. We need to lay here for a few hours more." 

Rúmil gasped in mock horror. "Could it be that Erestor, Chief Advisor of Imladris,
could be getting too old for his job," he teased. 

Erestor scowled. "Me old, not likely." 

"Get up then." 

"Alright, alright," Erestor said, and allowed his lover to pull him up into a
sitting position. 

~ 

Glorfindel had once again found himself sitting in a garden. He seemed to be doing
that a lot lately. Whereas before, his time had been spent either doing his duties
as Imladris's seneschal or with his lover. But now there was no border patrol or
guard training to oversee. His time of service in Imladris was finished, and he
wondered if his time with Elrond was also coming to a close. 

He was skipping stones into a pond. He had become quite good at it over the years.
When Elrond had first taught him he had been fairly hopeless, but now his throw was
rather impressive. 

He had run out of patience. It simply hurt him too much to allow his lover to push
him away like he had the night before. 

His thoughts were interrupted when he caught sight of Erestor and Rúmil walking
toward him hand in hand. They were the perfect picture of love and devotion. He
didn't say anything when they sat down beside him on the grass. He just continued
skipping his stones. 

"See I told you, you wouldn't be rid of me for long," Rúmil said to break the
silence. When Glorfindel made no reply he continued, "You're getting rather good at
that." 

"I've had a lot of practice lately," he replied glumly. 

"You must forgive Rúmil, friend. He doesn't know how to be melancholy. The idea
escapes him. He's happy all the time." Erestor rubbed Rúmil's palm between his
fingers lovingly. 

"It's rather difficult to be happy right now," Glorfindel replied. He gave up on the
stones and let his hands fall idle on the grass. "It's difficult to do anything
right now." 

"What has happened Glorfindel?" Erestor asked simply. "I know something happened, so
don't deny it." 

Glorfindel slumped forward in anguish. His blond hair fell in front of his face.
There were no tears; he was past tears. "Last night he..." he broke off. He couldn't
bring himself to say it aloud. It was just as if it could all be a terrible dream
until the moment that he accepted it by actually putting the scene into words. 

Rúmil reached out and brushed the stray blond hairs back behind the other elf's
ears. "Tell us Glorfindel, please. We only want to help you," he said soothingly. 

"He pushed me away. Even in the heat of passion he still pushed me away." He hoped
that had told Erestor all he needed to know. He doubted he could bring himself to
say more if he tried. 

Upon hearing Glorfindel's confession, Erestor immediately filled with guilt. He felt
as if this was his fault. He had told Glorfindel just the day before that he was
being weak. Now Glorfindel had gone and taken a new step, and he was hurting more
than ever. 

It didn't make any sense to Erestor. Obviously Glorfindel was not going to get
through to Elrond, and that was an unheard of occurrence. In the past, the best way
to deal with Elrond when he was hurting was to leave him alone with his lover. But
this time the plan had failed miserably. Erestor was going to have to take matters
into his own hands. He could not simply sit and watch the lives of his trusted
friends fall apart. 

"I will speak with him," Erestor said solemnly. "I promise you, Glorfindel, that I
will find out what is causing this." 

Glorfindel looked up when he heard Erestor's vow. His friend's devotion never ceased
to amaze him. Erestor would do anything, not only for his lover, but also for his
friends. 

"Thank you, friend," he said. Remembering his rudeness the day before he continued,
"And I give you my utmost apologies for my harsh words yesterday. They were both
uncalled for and untrue." 

Erestor reached over Rúmil and grasped Glorfindel's hand in his. "It is forgiven and
forgotten friend. I can only apologize for inspiring those words in you. But let us
think of it no longer." 

Glorfindel's eyes shone with a new hope as he gazed into his friend's eyes. In the
back of his mind he knew that the hope was likely to be futile. But any hope was a
reason to continue fighting for the happiness that he once shared with Elrond. 

Then Rúmil broke the silence. "Well, I for one know a certain advisor who could use
some practice at his skipping stones." 

~ 

Elrohir lay on his back with his head resting in his brother's lap. The stars
overhead had him enraptured as they had so many times before. They had ridden around
Imladris for several hours, and now they were sitting halfway between the stables
and the house. 

"There must be many worse fates than death," he mused aloud. "Think of Atada
spending eternity sailing across the sky. I think it would be better to die." He
said these things for both his brother's benefit and his own. We wanted to reassure
his brother that he really did want this, but also he needed to reassure himself as
well. The fear was far from gone. 

"Don't, brother," Elladan said. "Let us not speak of it. It will not change
anything. My choice is made, and if yours is as well, then no words will change it."


Elladan was weary with worry. Nothing could chase the "if only" feelings from his
mind. He did agree that mortality was hardly a bad fate, but he doubted that Elrohir
truly believed it. Right now he just wanted to be at peace with his beloved before
tomorrow came and threatened to take it away. There was still Elrond to contend with
after all. 

~ 

Erestor knocked lightly on the door to Glorfindel and Elrond's shared chambers. He
planned on keeping his promise to Glorfindel, and the best way to see something done
was to act on it as soon as possible. Glorfindel himself had been entrusted to
Rúmil's care. The silver haired elf's upbeat personality had already done wonders
for him. Erestor could only hope that everything would be alright, and the four of
them would spend the rest of time together in Aman. 

Thinking it was Glorfindel returning for the evening Elrond waited tensely for the
other to come in. When no one came and a second knock met his ears, he called,
"Enter." 

It was Erestor, not Glorfindel, who came through the door. Elrond didn't know if he
should feel relieved or dismayed. On the one hand it was a delay in the encounter
with his lover that would no doubt be painful. But Erestor was known for coaxing
elves into sharing what was on their minds. Elrond did not want to speak of his
anguish. 

Erestor was not impressed with the scene that met his gaze, but neither was he
surprised. Elrond's hair was unkept, and he looked exhausted. He was sitting stiffly
in his chair near the window surrounded by volumes of lore. 

"I've been looking for that volume," he said, to break the ice. He tapped his
fingers lightly on one of the books on Elrond's table. 

Elrond seriously doubted that Erestor had come to discuss his new habit of hoarding
books. Undoubtedly he had talked to Glorfindel and knew all that had transpired
between them the night before. "Please sit down," he said more formally than he
would usually address his friend, and he motioned toward to chair across from him. 

Erestor did, and he searched his mind for a plan of action. The way to get this done
was to talk about the things he did know. Hopefully this talk would inspire Elrond
to tell him what he wanted to know. This typical course of action had usually worked
for him, but one look at the unyielding expression on Elrond's face shook his
confidence in his own ability. 

Through the window Erestor could just make out the forms of Elladan and Elrohir
walking toward the house in the moonlight. "They look so much like Elros," Erestor
said simply. 

Elrond looked like he had just remembered something he had tried hard to forget.
"Yes, they look just like him, and I fear they will share his fate." 

This was progress. "You know they are here awaiting you. They expect you to approach
them on the matter." 

"I know this, and I will as soon as I feel able to bear their answer." He would see
them tomorrow. Yes he would be able tomorrow. 

"Delay will not alter their choice," Erestor replied. 

"You say it as if there is but one choice instead of two. I fear you are right. If
one choice is made then the other will be made as well. I can not imagine them
parting ways." Elrond paused unsure of whether or not to continue. "I also feel that
perhaps their fate was ultimately chosen for them even before their birth." It
didn't matter that he said it aloud. No-one in Middle Earth could comprehend the
meaning behind his words. No-one else had been there. 

However Erestor did indeed understand what Elrond had said. "Then Elros's gift
shares Elros's fate." 

Elrond's solemn expression changed to one of utmost surprise. "You knew," he
faltered. "You knew that he promised me a gift? How?" 

"Before he came to you that night, he told me of the promise he would make." 

"And do you believe it, Erestor? Are they Elros's promised gift?" 

Erestor had often wondered this point himself over the years. The resemblance of
their features in both mind and body to their father's brother was remarkable, but
who could say if such a thing was even possible. But being the great diplomat that
he was, he knew exactly what to say. "Even they were not meant to be they are, in
that you saw them as such." 

"It is a cruel fate that would force me to lose my brother twice. And a cruel fate
that would have me lose all my children. But I have not been good to Elladan; I
deserve to have to see him go." 

"And Elrohir, what of him?" His talking was obviously doing Elrond good. He was much
more open now than he had been when their talk had begun. 

"I can think of no other road for him besides with his brother. Though it pains me
to think of it, I cannot blame him. Had circumstances been different I cannot rule
out that I might have done the same. I cannot blame either of them for anything, not
even Elladan." 

"Is that why he will stay, because he thinks you blame him?" Erestor knew it wasn't
true, but he suspected that Elrond perhaps knew the real answer. 

"Elladan's guilt is not with me; it is with himself. Though I have fed that guilt
more than it was my right to do, the guilt that drives him is in his own heart. It
is his, not mine, not yours." 

Erestor saw his chance. "But what is your guilt Elrond? Elladan has his, which
pushes him to his choice. What is the guilt that you hide that brings you to do what
you are doing?" 

Elrond shook his head. "No, Erestor." 

"Please tell me, friend. Glorfindel is hurting. He does not understand. I do not
understand. It makes no sense. I know you; you are too noble to do this for
yourself. And what's more I know you still love him. Why are you doing this? There
has to be a reason." 

"I cannot tell you Erestor, like Elladan I feel the need to hide my shame." 

"Please Elrond, for Glorfindel's sake tell me." Instead of coaxing he was now merely
pleading with his friend. "He cannot live without you. Tell me why you are doing
this." He broke off, unsure of what more he could possibly say. 

Something snapped inside of Elrond at the mentioning of Glorfindel's need of him.
That was the problem after all. He averted his gaze away from Erestor. He was silent
for a time before, in a barely audible whisper, he said the words that were haunting
him. "I am still bound to Celebrian." 

TBC