Title: Im hiraetha... Im mela lle!
Author: Milly {surprise!!!}
Author's Email: ElrohiradoresElladan@gmx.net
Pairings: Estel/Elrond, *slightly* implied Glorfindel/Erestor 
Rating: R 
Summary: Read the challenge: 
http://depresso-girl.com/libraryofmoria/viewtopic.php?t=117. [Elrond bans
Estel for being in love with Arwen, later on he's sorry and goes after him.]
Disclaimer: I wished I'd own them, but I don't... the truth is sad enough,
there's no need to tortue me by poking into the wound by suing me. 
Warning: Mayor amounts of Fluff
Authors Note: Thanks to Sammy for the sweet challenge
and well... the usual... thanks to LoM of helping me find others that adore
slash and all... love you girls! *hugs*

Im hiraetha... Im mela lle!

He had been watching him, observing him, while he was regarding his
daughter, while he was drawing her and while his face carried this typical
dreamy expression. And he had been patient, he had hoped that there wouldn't to fight
with him. But he had to protect his daughter from his brother's destiny. He
would and could not bear another elf die like this... not another who was this
dear to his heart.

And Arwen... she was just like Elros, as lovely and as passionate.. she
would chose to become mortal just like his twin brother had done it before. And
he remembered the awful day when he had learned of his brother's death, he
would always remember it as if it had been yesterday... never forget it until
the world would pass and it just couldn't happen again. Not even if it would
make Arwen and Estel happy...

Slowly Elrond rose from his chair. If he tried to speak to him, maybe he
would understand.. he had fostered the young one since his mother had brought
him to Imladris and Estel was intelligent enough to understand him. 

*******************************************

Knocking the door of his son's room he waited patiently until Estel allowed
him to enter. The young man looked at him, obviously pleased to see him. "Mae
Govannen Atar." He greeted gently and Elrond smiled. Yes, yes his son would
understand his ideas. "Suilad penneth. I have to talk to you."

Estel smiled, unsure what to answer, because he did not know what Elrond was
speaking about. The only thing he remembered was being out for long without
informing Elrond about his leave but that had been three weeks ago and his
brothers had been with him. So if Elrond for some reason was angered by it he
would have summoned the twins and him to his study instead of coming to his
room. "Please tell me if I did something to displease you, Atar." He said after
a moment of silence and watched anxiously how the Halfelf started to pace
back and forth in his room. It was not like Elrond to pace.. 

The Elvenlord slowly shook his head. "No, Estel, you did not anger me. But I
am worried about you." Elrond finally sat down and looked at his son. "Am I
mistaken if I believe that you are in love?" And when Estel opened his mouth
to speak the Elda slowly lifted his hand and shook his head. "I want you to
speak the truth, Estel, you know that I will see it if you are lying to me." 

The young man gulped and nodded. He should have known this, yes, Elrond was
wise enough to see his feelings though he had thought that he had hidden them
well enough. "Yes I am." His answer was a mere whisper but it did not matter
for his father knew it without hearing it. 

"With my daughter?" Elrond asked calmly.

Estel sighed and closed his eyes. He had known that Elrond would not approve
to this love... that was why he had not told her about his feelings yet. But
perhaps he could convince him. There was still some hope left that he would
listen. If he promised to be careful.. if he told him that he loved her and
no other. But when he explained his thoughts the Elvenlord's fair face became
malcontent.

"You are not going to act upon those feelings, I forbid you to bind yourself
to anyone until I tell you differently." Elrond's command was spoken softly
but his eyes were strict and Estel knew that it was useless to speak against
it. He knew better than to disobey his father's wishes but this matter was
different, he could not wait until Elrond decided that he was old enough... 

And against better knowledge he lifted his head and looked directly into the
elf's eyes. "Please, Atar, you cannot ask this of me. I wish to bind myself
just like other males at my age. It is not possible for me to await the elven
standards of becoming adult without spending half of my life without a wife
and children."

Elrond looked at his foster son and his eyes dimmed dangerously. "Do you
wish to say that it is senseless to live in the Elven way to live?"

Estel's eyes widened. "You know that I would never speak against them. I
have as much respect for the ways of the Elves as I have for you and for the
Lady of the Light.. Atar..."

"I no longer wish for you to call me that, you are Aragorn, son of Arathorn
and whether you prefer to be called by that name or your Elven name does not
matter to me. You are no son of mine, you have never been and if you cannot
behave in the ways of my people you will leave my realm and go to meet your
own kind. Go and claim the throne of Gondor if you wish, I care not, but you
will not return to Imladris, for I banish you and I will order my guards to
escort you if you will not leave on your own." Elrond's voice was so cold that
Estel did not dare to hope that he wasn't serious. 

But still this felt worse than anything.. he had never thought it possible
that his father might ban him, it was just not like him to react like this.
Before he could even think about the consequences and try to plead with his
foster father Elrond ordered him to leave Imladris immediately and when he saw
the expression in the grey eyes he decided not to find out what the Peredhil
would do if he didn't comply...

************************************************

When he watched Estel fleeing from Imladris he felt nothing. It surprised
him, but he did not feel hurt for he had protected his family even though the
prize had been high. It was good that he would not be here when Arwen returned
from Lórien and that his brothers were gone and would not doubt their
father's decision. No.. no, not his brothers. They were his sons and Estel was
not. He was Aragorn, Arathorn's son and not his own blood.. though Elros... no,
he did not want to think about his brother.

Elrond went to the library. It was quiet as usually and he noticed his
advisors, playing chess in a corner of the room. On other days he would have
gone there and watched their game, it was always interesting to see who was going
to win. But today he just did not feel like it. So he took one of the books
and started reading but he felt he could not focus on it. His thoughts kept
traveling to the poor child he had sent into the wild. What had he done? 

Yes, Elladan and Elrohir had taken him with them at times though he had told
them that they should not, knowing what had happened to Arathorn when Estel
had been only two years old. But the child had never been allowed to leave
alone. Outside Imladris too many dangers dwelt and even in the company of his
Elven soldiers he feared for the young one's safety. And yet he had sent him
away, merciless and without a real reason. It was no crime to be in love and
Aragorn had not even acted against his wishes yet. This was not right, he was
known to be a wise and fair ruler and yet he had allowed his own feelings to
overtake when he had punished his... Arathorn's son.

"Check." Elrond looked up from his book and regarded his advisors. It was
obvious that Glorfindel was not too pleased about his situation but neither he
nor Erestor talked.. they never spoke during their games though he had heard
rumours that they did far more than speaking if they were alone. But he had
never bothered himself with their private life and he would surely not start
today. 

Again he started to read and suddenly he recognised the story. Estel's
favourite childhood tale... today everything seemed to be going the wrong way. He
knew this story very well, he had told it to Estel many times.. but though he
knew the plot and the end he found himself reading it more eager than ever
before. It was a sad story with a happy end.. just in the way a young confused
human child would want it to be after it had just lost his father. 

Ai... Estel had been such a shy boy when he had been young. Finding the most
comfort when lying in his foster father's arms and listening to him telling
stories or singing songs. And he had enjoyed having him close, facing his
own children becoming independent from him and grieving for his wife. It had
comforted him to know that the young one loved him without any question and put
him first before everyone else.
 
Yes everyone... even his sons who had played with him and treated him like
their little brother and his advisors who had patiently taught his young
protégé like they had taught his sons... and then all of a sudden he had not
been the first anymore. And slowly a nagging doubt sealed in his heart. Had he
*really* wanted to protect his daughter? Or had he been jealous that she was
dearer to Estel's heart than he was?

When the fair Lord had finally rescued the princess and won her heart he
rose, returned the book to the shelf and threw one last glance to the chess set.
Erestor resembled a lurking cat and Glorfindel seemed about to give up. But
he didn't bother himself with their game. If his Chief advisor would win this
time his senesal would win the next. So he just smiled at them and left the
room again. 

And before he knew what he was doing he found himself in his private
chambers, collecting his cloak and his weapons before rushing to the stables. Of
course this behaviour was incorrect.. he knew that he should have ordered
Glorfindel to prepare search parties and they would have found Estel if he was
Still in Imladris. But he did not have the patience to wait for them to return and
it was his fault that he was gone. And who would doubt that his decisions
were wrong? Either Glorfindel or Erestor would tell him that when he was back
but that didn't matter because either his little son would be safely in his
arms or the child would be gone.. and he would have different worries than his
advisor's comments. 

****************************************************

Elrond had been searching for hours, using the time to reconsider his deeds
and the earlier conversation. He had been unfair, had not even given Estel a
chance to explain his thoughts. This was a treatment worse than any prisoner
would get it and he had done this to his son. If the child was hurt he would
never forgive himself. And if he would find him, he would give up all his
pride and plead him to come back home. He would sing for him like he had done it
when Estel had been young, he would do everything. Even allow him to bind
himself to Arwen if it was necessary... If his son would just be save. 

Silently he started to pray to the Valar. They had taken his brother and his
wife from him.. taking such a young man would just be unfair. Men died, yes,
but they deserved to live a whole life and not only the first 20 years. He
closed his eyes. But Estel wouldn't die... he was still safe inside Imladris
and it would only take a few more hours until he would have him back... back
in his arms where he belonged. If only he was save and he would forgive him
the harsh words. 

It was no help that it started to rain and his clothes were soaked already.
Of course the wet clothes didn't disturb him, he had fought battles like
this. But even the sharpest eyes weren't good enough if it was dark and the rain
only became stronger, increasing his worry that he would not find his child
or if he did find him he would not find him unharmed. Suddenly he noticed a
movement and he quickly turned his head, eagerly searching the dark. "Estel?"
He yelled and eagerly waited for a reply. But there was none but the sounds of
the forest and the dropping of the rain. 

The night was stormy and if he had been honest he would have admitted that
it was senseless to search him alone. He should have returned to Imladris and
ordered his soldiers to search his child. Perhaps they would have been back
in his rooms already. And he could hold the young one close and tell him that
he was sorry. That he would never ever leave him again and that he loved him.
Yes, he loved him. Of course he did and he would freely admit that he
admired his courage and his skills as well as the pretty blue eyes and the firm
voice of his son if it would just bring him back. 

"Estel!" The Halfelf yelled one last time before he turned back. He had to
command a search even though it was against his wishes not to find his son
alone. But this wasn't about his feelings, he had put them above rational
decisions once today and it had proved to be bad. And Elrond Peredhil did not
make the same mistake twice. He softly asked his horse to go back and it complied
as usually. Yes, usually everyone complied to his wishes... but when he had
said that he wished for Estel to leave, it had not been what he had meant. 

Riding back to Imladris took it's time though he did not look as closely as
he had searched when he had started. He rather wanted to focus on riding home
quickly to alert Glorfindel... though he did not look forward to the thought
that he might disturb his advisors. But then, he did not intend to enter the
room and they would surely accept that Estel's safety was more important
than their pleasure. 

*******************************************

While he was busy considering what he would tell them in case they would
complain that it wasn't their fault that he had told his son to leave his horse
suddenly stopped and when he searched the trees and bushes for a possible
danger he finally saw what his horse had noticed minutes ago. He dismounted and
padded Melrûth's mane. "I owe you, my friend... remind me when we are back in
Imladris." He whispered to her and then turned his attention to the young
man who was dozing, leaned against a tree. 

"That is a most careless behaviour, penneth." He whispered gently and knelt
down next to the man, for the first time since he had met Estel he was unsure
if he could dare to touch him. And so he just knelt there and waited until
the young man slowly came back to his senses.

Estel opened his eyes. Not knowing if it was really Elrond who was speaking
to him or if he was just wishing for him to be here. He looked up and saw the
Halfelf regarding him with an unbelievable soft expression in his eyes. But
his foster father made no move towards him and said no word. And so he tried
to get up. "I did not manage to leave Imladris tonight.. I was too tired,
please forgive me."

Elrond shook his head and gestured for him to stay. "It is I who has to be
sorry, penneth. I should never have hurt your feelings by banning you. There
is nothing you could do to deserve such a treatment and I admit that my
judgment was wrong and unfair. I came here to ask you to forgive me and to tell
you that if you want to bind yourself, I will accept your choice even if you
love my daughter."

A confused frown crossed Estel's face. Only some hours ago Elrond had rather
wanted to see him leave Imladris than hear another word about a possible
marriage between Arwen and him. And now he agreed to it? The Peredhil were known
to be stubborn if they believed that they had made the right decision and it
was very unusual for them to admit that they were wrong. He looked up at his
foster father and couldn't help but feel a little suspicious. Elrond
Perehil, the wise ruler of Imladris, famous for his courage as well as his
healing powers knelt before him, told him that he had been wrong and asked him to
forgive him? "Why did you change your mind, Mylord?"

It hurt... it hurt to hear such a calm, aloof question from Estel's lips.
But he deserved it just like his foster son deserved to hear a true reply. "I
did not allow you to defend yourself and I heard what I wanted to hear, just
to have a reason to force you to either leave or comply to my wishes. It was
wrong..."

Estel was still unsure how he was supposed to react, but Elrond sounded
really sincere and he could not help but to wish to throw himself into his
foster father's arms and just tell him that he loved him and that he could
never stay mad with him, no matter what he did. "Do you mean that you reconsidered
my ban and allow me to return.. home?" He asked, careful not to sound too
hopeful. 

Home... yes, he would allow the little one to come home with him. Elrond
smiled almost shyly. "Yes, penneth, that it is what I meant to say. If you want
to come home with me, you will be most welcome." He carefully regarded his
forster son's eyes. Knowing them well enough to see if he would be rejected.
But instead of the confusion that had been there only moments ago he know saw
what he usually saw in them. Love and Trust. And though he knew that he didn't
deserve this he was overjoyed to see that Estel had forgiven him his words
already. It would take time to make him forget about this, but at least he
wasn't angry or truly hurt.

"I will come home with you, Atar." Estel said, careful not to sound too
relieved and before he knew what to think or how to reject Elrond had caught him
in a tight embrace and he felt himself relaxing, enjoying a touch he had
missed for a couple of years. For a couple of moments neither Elrond nor he
spoke a word, for neither of them wanted to break the spell of the moment. Then
Estel carefully pulled the elf closer into his arms. "I would go anywhere as
long as you are there." He admitted and fought the tears of happiness that
threatened to overtake his voice. 

********************************************

"I could show you the way to Mount Doom if you wish." Elrond's voice was so
serious that Estel was unsure whether his foster father was joking or not.
And then he felt soft, yet firm lips, pressing against his forehead and an
unbidden image from his dreams crept into his mind. Dreams of Elrond, taking him
to his bed and tucking him in. But instead of the innocent touch he had
craved for the first years of his life he wanted more. He wanted the halfelf to
undress him, to moan above him and to claim him and no matter how much he
wanted to replace those wishes by thinking of Arwen so lovely and pretty he just
could not absolutely ban this images from his thoughts.

Before he knew what he was doing he pressed his body against the slender
Lord told him that he loved him, that he had craved for his touch for years and
that he would do whatever he could if it would just please him. This was not
the time to think, he had been cold and wet for hours and now that Elrond
finally held him he felt warm again. And he was not rejected, no... instead of
beeing pushed away and told off he felt the halfelf's lips against his own.
Then without any further talk he felt himself pressed against a tree and gentle
but insistent started to take off his tunic. 

When he saw Estel's bare body Elrond needed to pull himself together. He
wanted him, wanted him more than he could admit. But he had to be sensible. "Do
you want this? Are you aware that I will claim you as mine and bind myself to
you if you allow me to go on?" The Elf asked unsure if he would be able to
stop himself if the man would reject him. A short glance at the younger was
enough to know that he was most welcome to go on. And when he was done with
taking off those disturbing garments he was suddenly pushed against the cold,
muddy ground. He gasped in surprise, not prepared to be caught beneath
another's body but he allowed Estel a moment to think that he had control over
his actions before he pushed him down. Maybe he would allow him to take this
position... another time. But not tonight. 

Tonight Estel would be his and he would claim him as such. The young man
obviously agreed with his thoughts as he turned wordlessly to his stomach nearly
begging to be taken. Elrond was fairly sure that it would be his first time
but he was also convinced that the man had witnessed the other Rangers
warming each other during the cold nights and that his mind and his thoughts had
stopped being innocent a long time ago. Still touching yourself and watching
others was different from the actual act and he felt Estel shivering beneath
him when he started to prepare him. He silently cursed that he had nothing but
some herb salve somewhere inside his robe, but having that was better than no
aid to prepare him.

Aragorn trembled when Elrond finally finished his preparations and entered
him. But the pain vanished as quickly as it had appeared and while the
pleasure seemed to burn his wet skin the Halfelf whispered reassuring words to
him, elvish words of which he had heard some when he heard his brothers talking to
each other but also a few he heard for the first time tonight. But though he
could only guess what Elrond was telling him it felt good to hear the
loving, tender voice in which they were spoken, matching with the gentle, almost
shy thrusts inside him. It felt like making love, something like the bond
Erestor and Glorfindel shared. Not the demanding sometimes violent lust between
the Rangers. And when he moaned and pleaded for the Elda to claim him
thoroughly he had forgotten everything around him. The rain, the mud and the
harsh words that had been spoken earlier.

Moans, such sweet moans he had never thought the man capable of filled
Elrond's ears when Estel found his release, spilling his seed to the ground
beneath him. He felt tightness surrounding him but he tried to keep himself
from giving in too pleasure already. This felt far too good to end so soon. But it
was selfish to think so. Estel was supposed to have a sweet first time and
if he stayed inside him long after he had... Elrond cursed himself for
considering so much. This was supposed to be an act of love, not a strategy
game. And as soon as he had given up thinking he groaned before shuddering in
pleasure and spending himself into the body beneath him. 

*****************************************

After a moment of silence Elrond carefully pulled out, kissing the younger
man's lips with utmost tenderness and with sweet words of Love on his lips he
helped his new lover to cloth himself. Then, when they were dressed he
whistled, calling Melrûth to come back to them. He mounted and pulled Estel up
into his arms to hug him close and tight. It was still raining and the wind was
pulling on their wet, black hair and blowing Elrond's braids into his love's
face. 

Estel caught one of the braids, pulling on it playfully like he had done
when he had been much younger and receiving a stern glance in return. "Do not
believe that just because I love you and wish to cherish having your love for
the rest of my life, I am incapable of making you behave, Estel. I am still
able to turn you over my knee if I must. Though I have to admit that pushing
you into my bathtub and cleaning this mud out of your hair will be my first
priority."

The young man's eyes glinted mischievously. "If you think that you will be
able to catch me to get me into some rose scented water to make sure that I
smell and look like those advisor's of yours..." He received a light slap in
return, knowing well enough that he wasn't allowed to make fun of Erestor and
Glorfindel, however much his beloved mentors might invite being laughed at. But
instead of apologizing for his behaviour and promising that he wouldn't fail
again he started to chuckle and against all hopes Elrond did as well,
shaking his head and declaring that he would make him beg for forgiveness for
his impudent bearing once they were warm and dry again.

Though in his heart Elrond knew that he would spoil him worse than he had
done before. He would allow him to his bed whenever he felt like it and he
would sing for him and show him what it was like to be with one of the oldest
and wisest creatures on the face of Arda. Yes Estel would never get bored, he
was sure about it and neither would he ever grew weary of the young one's
cheekiness or his pranks. Of course he spoke against them, but he craved to see
what he made up next, he always had. Because his lover was just as
unpredictable as he was cunning and intelligent and caring. Yes he had captured
his heart though Elrond could not say when it had happened... but it was such a good
feeling to love with the knowledge that he was loved in return.


Elvish words: 
Im hiraetha, Im mela lle = I am sorry, I love you
Mae Govannen = Well met
Atar = father
Suilad = hello
Penneth = young one 

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