Title: Thirty Minutes
Author: Crista
Pairings: Elrond/Erestor, Elrond/Celebrian
Rating: R
Warnings: slash, angst/suicide, character death
Author's Note: Slightly AU, based on 30 Minutes by T.a.T.u.
Disclaimer: Tolkein's, not mine. I can't even claim the title as my own, it 
was taken from a song by T.a.T.u. I'm not making a profit, so please don't
sue.
Summary: It is the day of Elrond and Celebrian's wedding, and Erestor stands 
to loose everything.
Feedback: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, give me feedback on this one! Just put 
either "feedback," the title, or both in the subject of the e-mail. 
RinkRatNB@aol.com

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    Erestor sighed and glanced at the clock. Thirty minutes. Thirty minutes 
left until his world fell apart. He just wanted it over with, wanted it done so 
he could return to his daily life and bury himself in work that could 
probably have waited until the next day, or the next week. It didn't matter.
For weeks, it had been nothing but preparations, leaving Erestor with nothing to do. 
Elrond had not asked him to help, and Erestor was grateful for that. Glorfindel 
had shouldered most of the workload without complaint, knowing better than to 
ask for Erestor's help. It was bad enough that Erestor would have to be there 
today, because people would ask questions if the chief advisor was absent.
    There was a knock on the door, and Erestor knew without question that it 
would be Glorfindel, but Erestor was not sure he could face his blonde friend 
at the moment. He had thirty minutes to get control of himself, and Glorfindel 
probably would not be of much assistance. 
    "Erestor? I know you're in there."
"Just leave me alone."
    "Not today. Not now." Glorfindel said, and pushed the door open. He was 
already dressed in formal robes of pale blue silk and azure velvet, and 
Erestor swallowed hard, not wanting to be reminded. Glorfindel sat down beside
him on the bed with a soft swish of fabric and placed a gentle hand on Erestor's 
shoulder. "Meldir, you will make it through today. I promise you."
    "Would that I had such confidence as you." Erestor said, and Glorfindel 
sighed. "You do not have to be present at the reception, at least. No one 
expects the famously antisocial Chief Advisor of Imladris to put in more than a 
token appearance at any social function."
    "That is of little comfort, Glorfindel."
"It is all I have to offer." the blonde seneschal replied. He paused for a 
moment, then said quietly, "You should get ready."
    "I know." Erestor muttered, and reluctantly rose and pawed through his 
wardrobe until he found robes of such a dark red they were nearly black, 
embroidered with an intricate design of brighter scarlet and silver at the neck, 
sleeves, and hem. Glorfindel politely turned his back, and secretly was glad to 
do so. Those robes looked more suited to mourning than a wedding...but then, 
how could he blame Erestor? Today was a day of terrible loss for him...in just 
under a half an hour, everything he cared about would be destroyed.
    Erestor, now wearing the robe, walked into Glorfindel's view to open a 
small box that sat on the nightstand. He sifted through its contents until he 
found an elegant pendant on a long, slim silver chain. It was a single ruby, 
trapped by strands of silver wire that wound around it, forming a cage of 
delicate filigree. But a cage nonetheless, Glorfindel thought to himself.
Erestor slid it over his head, then set the plain silver circlet that was his symbol of 
office upon his head. Glorfindel watched silent as Erestor froze for a moment, 
a gleam of mithril on one hand catching his attention. It was a slim, 
unadorned band, and Erestor bit his lip as he slid it from his finger, put it in
the box, and closed the lid. Glorfindel knew immediately where he had gotten it, 
but said nothing. Erestor was correct, he no longer had any right to wear such a 
thing. Not today. Glorfindel sighed and bowed his head ever so slightly. "I 
must go, Erestor...I just wanted to check on you."
    "I know. I will be there, Glorfindel, though I condemn my heart to break 
with every word spoken. But I will be there."

    Glorfindel found Elrond standing alone on his balcony, wearing robes of a 
soft cream color embroidered with gold. "Mae govannen, mellon-nin. You look 
nice."
    "Mae govannen, Glorfindel. Hannon le."
"You are most welcome." he said, and Elrond sighed. "What are you doing 
here, Glorfindel?"
    "I am trying to change your mind. You do not even know her, Elrond!"
"This is not about Celebrian. That is not why you are here. You would have me 
back out, cling to Erestor like he is all I have left. Well, he is all I have 
left, but in a quarter of an hour I will not even have that! Do not think he 
is the only one who suffers today, pretending it a day of joy."
    "Then why do you still insist upon doing this?"
"Erestor cannot give me an heir, Glorfindel, and Lothlorien will be a strong 
ally. And both of those things are important..I have seen it, Lady Galadriel 
has seen it...do not pretend that I have a choice."
    "There is always a choice."
"What would you have me do, Glorfindel? When the final hour is upon us and I 
have strayed from my path, and suddenly there is no one to protect this place? 
Would you ask me to deny my people safety for my personal desires?"
    "Without hesitation." Glorfindel said quietly. "This time...yes, I 
would. Flee to the West, leave Middle Earth to its own devices. We are not bound
to this place. I would ask that you save a life today...is that so wrong?"
    "You would ask that I save one life, but it would be dearly bought. At 
the price of this valley."
    "So be it." Glorfindel retorted. "Wallow in your cowardice, then, and
I shall see you later."
    "That is much too bold!" Elrond snapped, and Glorfindel glared. "And
if it is? What would you do about it, Elrond? It is my job to tell you truth and 
so I do. If you do not like it, that is no concern of mine! I will not leave 
my friend to die like this!" he snapped, and stormed out of the room.

    Lord Celeborn was silent as he walked down the hall toward the gardens. 
He felt terrible, truth be told. Elrond and Celebrian had never exchanged more 
than three words, and he knew that this day was likely to be the cause of much 
grief, both for Elrond and for his Chief Advisor. Celeborn had seen the look 
in Erestor's eyes when the Lorien Lord had reluctantly broached the subject, 
seen the look in his eyes when Elrond had accepted. The look of one betrayed, 
of one who had just lost everything. Celeborn had been surprised, to say the 
least, when he had learned Erestor would be there today, duty or no.
    His musings were interrupted when Glorfindel came storming down the hall, 
 clearly both angry and upset. There were tears in his eyes, but he looked 
furious at the same time, and Celeborn stopped in his tracks. What did any of 
this have to do with the blonde seneschal? Glorfindel stopped dead when he 
noticed Celeborn and looked down, letting blonde hair spill in front of his
face. 
"Lord Celeborn, mae govannen."
    "Glorfindel? What is wrong?" at those words, Glorfindel tensed slightly, 
but looked up and managed to smile brightly at Celeborn. "Nothing, my Lord. 
Nothing at all."
    "You are crying."
"Tis a joyous day." Glorfindel replied, without conviction, and Celeborn 
sighed. "For who?" he said bitterly. "For Galadriel, perhaps."
Glorfindel's smile faded, and he looked away. "Someone should be happy, I suppose."
    "What is your part in this tale, Glorfindel? Why do you speak with the 
bitterness of loss?"
    "One of my dearest friends is going to die, Lord Celeborn. I hardly think 
that joy is appropriate. Elrond could save him, if he wished...but there will 
be no help for Erestor, no one to soothe his wounds and reassure him, because 
that person is the one who inflicts them. I would help him if I could, but it 
seems I have no power to do so." Glorfindel swallowed hard, choking back 
sobs, and looked away. Celeborn hesitated a moment. "If you do not wish to be 
there, I will make your excuses. I would make Erestor's as well."
    "I swore I would be. Erestor as well. And the hour is nigh upon us, the 
hour where hearts will be broken. But I thank you for your understanding." 
Glorfindel bowed slightly and left.

    Elrond watched as the guests filed in and took their seats, and he 
swallowed hard when he saw Glorfindel take his seat in the front. His
seneschal's appearance was as impeccable as ever, save for one thing. His sapphire eyes 
were bloodshot and red-rimmed, and Elrond felt as stab of guilt for doing that to 
his friend. 
    His attention was drawn away from Glorfindel when a dark-haired figure 
robed in deep scarlet walked in, carefully avoiding Elrond's gaze. Erestor
took his seat beside Glorfindel, and they exchanged whispered words that Elrond 
could not here. Erestor looked up enough for Elrond to note with some surprise 
that his eyes were dry, though lined and shadowed with exhaustion. Elrond could 
identify with that; he had not slept well lately, either. He saw Erestor give 
a strained smile and say something to Glorfindel, and a flick of one wrist 
drew his hand to Elrond's attention. A hand completely unadorned. The mithril 
band was gone. Elrond wondered what Erestor had done with it, then wondered 
whether he really wanted to know the answer to that question...
    His thoughts were interrupted by Celeborn's arrival. The Lord of 
Lothlorien walked straight to Elrond and bowed deeply. "Forgive me." he said
quietly, and took his seat beside Erestor. Elrond saw Erestor stiffen, and Glorfindel 
tightly grasped his friend's hand. Elrond did not hear Glorfindel's words, 
but rather saw them on the blonde's lips:"It will be over soon."
    The rest was something of a blur to Elrond; he remembered Celebrian, 
dressed in flowing white, taking his hand, he remembered Galadriel fixing him
with a gaze like ice, he remembered Mithrandir speaking...
    "Are there any who know of any reason these two Elves should not be 
joined to day, with Elbereth witness to their union?" Elrond looked at Erestor, almost 
pleading, and it seemed everyone followed his gaze. Erestor froze for a 
long moment, then shook his head ever so slightly and looked down, dark hair 
spilling over his shoulders. He was shaking, and Elrond heard the slightest hint 
of a choked sob. Glorfindel looked first at Erestor, then at Elrond; he 
started to rise, but Galadriel pulled him back to his seat. This exchange did
not go unnoticed by Mithrandir, who waited. Glorfindel was not to be so easily 
restrained, and with a rough jerk of a powerfully muscled arm, he freed himself 
from her grasp and stood. "I do."
    "Then speak. What is your reason?" Mithrandir said, and Elrond 
stiffened. He felt Celebrian's gaze on him before she turned to face
Glorfindel, but Elrond could only focus on Erestor, still fighting back tears, his head 
bowed.
    "Lord Elrond does not love her...his heart is given to another." 
Glorfindel said, and Mithrandir turned to Elrond. "Lord Elrond?" he asked,
and Elrond managed a slight nod. "He speaks the truth."
    "Then if this person is present, let them make themselves known." Elrond 
saw Erestor raised his head, saw Mithrandir look at him in sudden 
understanding...but Erestor bit his lip, rose, and turned away. "Tis not my
place to interfere." he said softly, and started to leave, but Glorfindel grabbed his
arm. 
"No! You cannot just throw this away, Erestor, not after so many years!"
    "Tis not my choice to make! it is Elrond's, and only Elrond's, and he 
has chosen! I was there that day, Glorfindel, and perhaps it is best that I do 
not remain with one who would betray my trust so easily!"
    "Do you think I wanted to do that to you, Erestor?!?" Elrond burst out. 
"Do you think I wanted to give it up?!? But the safety of my people depends on 
this, I have seen it! I do not have a choice!"
    "Is it any better to condemn your lover to death?!?" Glorfindel 
retorted, and a murmur passed through the crowd at that. 
    "Enough." Celeborn's voice cut through the noise, and all was
instantly silent. "Let Erestor speak on his own behalf."
    "And what would you have me say?" Erestor said. "It is true that I
love Elrond, it is true that we were together for many years, it is true that I 
would have him back if I could. But I cannot in good conscience let my feelings 
interfere with the safety of Imladris...I have sacrificed many things for my 
home over the years, and they will not be in vain, any more than this. Elrond, 
a'amaelarain..." Erestor said quietly, and at last met his lover's eyes.
"I am not giving you a choice." before anyone could argue, Erestor was gone.

    There was a soft knock on the door, and Erestor sighed. "Who is it?"
"Celebrian. May I come in?"
    "Of course you may, my Lady." Erestor replied graciously. She was the 
Lady of Imladris now, he could not refuse her. She walked into the room and shut 
the door behind her. "Lord Erestor, mae govannen." she said softly, and 
curtsied deeply. Erestor shook his head. "My Lady, 'tis I who should bow to
you." he said, and suited action to word. Celebrian sighed. "I will not stay long, 
Lord Erestor, as my presence surely does naught but trouble you."
    "Of course not, my Lady. You are always welcome." Erestor replied 
politely. Celebrian smiled sadly. "You owe me no courtesy, Lord Erestor."
    "You are Lord Elrond's lady; I owe you every courtesy." Erestor said 
softly. "I admire your devotion to duty, my Lord....and that is why I am here. I 
wanted to tell you...it was a very brave thing you did today, and very 
selfless...and it will be forgotten by no one."
    "I would rather it was." Erestor said quietly. "I would rather not 
receive pity. I wish Glorfindel had not spoken."
    "You are fortunate, to have a friend so devoted as he." Celebrian said. 
"Ai, Lord Erestor, please forgive me for what I have done."
    "It is not your fault. It is no one's fault. It is just how it is. And 
certainly Lord Elrond deserves no less of a lady than you." Celebrian looked 
down, her golden hair falling about her shoulders. "My Lord...I will never 
understand how you can be so unselfish... had I been in your place today, I
would have given in."
    "I would have as well.' Erestor said quietly. Celebrian looked at him 
for a long moment before saying softly, "Lord Elrond would like to see you, my 
Lord. He asked me, when I told him I wished to seek to you, if I would talk you 
into coming to the reception...but  will not force you to do so."
    "I will have to speak to him eventually...but I will not do so tonight." 
Celebrian nodded. "I did not think it wise, either. I will leave you now, my 
Lord...but, on behalf of your people, I will say this:hannon le, mellon-nin."
    "You are most welcome, my Lady. And my sincerest congratulations." 
Celebrian closed her eyes for a moment, and a single tear spilled down her fair 
cheek. "Hannon le." she whispered, and left.

    Elrond swallowed hard when he saw Erestor enter the room, and Celebrian 
laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Peace. Now is not the time." she said. 
Erestor looked over in their direction and caught Elrond's eye, shaking his
head ever so slightly. His gaze then turned to Celebrian, and he smiled slightly 
before turning away to speak to Glorfindel.
    "What happened, my Lady? When you spoke to him?" Celebrian sighed softly 
and let her gaze drift across the room to the dark-haired figure. "I learned 
how extraordinary he truly is."
    "How so?"
"I had expected hatred, anger, withdrawal...I did not expect to be afforded 
every courtesy and treated with naught but respect and kindness...I did not 
expect him to say you deserved no less than me, or to offer
congratulations...but he did." Elrond looked at his advisor with renewed respect, then his 
gaze dropped to the floor. "He was always..." Elrond trailed off and sighed,
choking back tears. "ai, I don't even know how to describe him. I can hardly blame 
him for not wishing to speak to me right now."
    "He said that he would, but not here."
"As always, the soul of discretion. It makes him a fine diplomat."
    "It is a terrible thing, to loose one such as him." Celebrian said 
softly. "Would that there was a way to spare him."
    "There may yet be." Elrond replied quietly. "If we are lucky."
"Let us hope we are." Celebrian said softly. "Let us hope."

    Elrond did not see much of Erestor for the next few days, and he worried, 
despite the fact that Glorfindel said it was not personal; Erestor was just 
busy. That in itself was no surprise; always the Chief Advisor of Imladris was 
buried in papers at his desk. Still, Elrond was rather relieved to see him 
when Erestor sought him out. "Mae govannen, my Lord." Erestor said with a
polite nod and slight smile. "Is Lady Celebrian well? Does she like it here?"
    "Aye, she does."
"I am most pleased to hear it." Erestor said, and Elrond motioned Erestor to 
sit, which he did. "And what of you...mellon-nin?" Elrond asked. "How do
you fare?"
    "Well enough, my Lord. Well enough."
"Ai, Erestor, no need for titles between us."
    "I could not be certain." Erestor said. "You understand."
"All too well." Elrond replied, and Erestor looked up at him. "I was never 
angry with you. I wanted to be, I think, but I never really was."
    "I cannot express how glad I am to hear you say that."
"You do not need to." Erestor said. Elrond hesitated a moment, then asked, 
"Erestor? Your ring...what happened to it?"
    "I still have it. It is in my jewelry box...I could do no greater 
dishonor to you and Lady Celebrian than to wear it, and so I do not."
"Alright...I just wondered." Erestor nodded. "Do not worry about it. And 
with all due respect, I do have things to be doing today, if you would be so
good as to excuse me."
    "By all means, go ahead, the realm does not stop running for us to
talk."
"Indeed." Erestor said, and left.

    "Lord Erestor?" Celebrian's soft voice startled Erestor, and he looked 
up from his work. "My Lady, what brings you to the dark confines of my
study?"
    "If I may entreat a word?"
"Of course, my Lady." Erestor said, setting his work aside. "Please, have
a seat."
    "Hannon le." she paused for a moment and sighed. "There is no easy way 
for me to say this, my Lord, but I would rather you heard it from me than Lord 
Glorfindel..." she trailed off, and Erestor sighed inwardly. The enmity 
between Lady Celebrian and Lord Glorfindel was no secret to anyone; he resented
her bond to Elrond for Erestor's sake, and Celebrian found his ill will
unpleasant.
    "Glorfindel does not always say things gently." Erestor relied 
noncommittally. "Please, continue."
    "My Lord...I am expecting children, twins."
"But my Lady, that is wonderful news!" Erestor exclaimed without missing a 
beat, though there was a part of him inwardly screaming. Celebrian, for her 
part, was surprised by his reaction. "You...you are not upset?"
    "Of course I am not, 'tis wonderful news. Congratulations." Erestor
said with a warm smile. Celebrian smiled in return. "Hannon le, Lord Erestor. I 
will not keep you from your work any longer." she left then, and Erestor
waited until she was certainly out of earshot to weep.

    It was late at night, and Erestor sat alone in his room, fingering a 
mithril ring in one hand and holding a dagger in the other. He was tired, but he 
could not sleep, and he hadn't eaten in a long time. He couldn't even
remember when he had last tried to force food down his throat; he had given up the 
fight when he found he couldn't keep it down anyway. Erestor knew he was
fading, he had known he would before the process even started. It was a slow 
procedure, and always Erestor felt cold and lightheaded, and more than once he
had fainted. He did not want this to keep dragging on, he did not want to wait for
the inevitable. His gaze flickered briefly over to the nightstand, where a piece 
of paper lay, and he kissed the ring he held and set it on top of the sheet of 
parchment and picked up a glass partly filled with amber liquid. He drained 
it in one drink, making a face at the taste of the strong liquor, and waited a 
while for the numbing effect to work before bringing the dagger to his throat 
and closing his eyes....Erestor barely even felt the metal bite into his skin.

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Please give me feedback on this one...if I get enough positive feedback, I'll 
write a sequel to this fic. If any of you are all upset about Erestor's 
death, give me feedback on that...if I write a sequel, I'll most likely bring
him back. Just put "feedback," the title, or both in the subject of the e-mail. 
RinkRatNB@aol.com