Title: Without you Author: Zilah Type: FPS Characters: Elrond/Erestor Rating: R Disclaimer: Sad but true: they are not mine. I just play with them. No one pays me. Beta: Tena Author's Notes: This one is a fluffy story, but contains angst too. However, it demanded to be written. And thank you Tena, for your excellent work. Without you, I was lost. Summary: Arwen has something to tell to Elrond. WITHOUT YOU Erestor was working in his study, but raised his head when someone suddenly stumbled into the room. He smiled when he saw it was Arwen. Soon his smile faded when he saw that Arwen had tears in her eyes. Deep in his heart, Erestor was happy that Arwen still sought comfort from him, even if she was an adult. He had always been very fond of Elrond’s youngest child. Like so many times before, he rose and walked to Arwen, pulling her in his arms. “What is wrong, sweetheart? Tell me.” Erestor said gently. “I told him, Erestor.” Arwen sobbed against Erestor’s chest. “Told him…told who? Told Elrond? What did you tell him, why are you so upset about it?” Erestor asked. “Aye, I told ada… that… that I am betrothed now, to Aragorn. I couldn’t do this any other way, for I love him.” Erestor wanted to weep too, when he heard Arwen’s words. Her choice meant that she would become a mortal woman. Elrond’s worst fear had become truth. “You must go to him, Erestor. He needs you now. I’m so happy that he has you beside him, so that he isn’t alone.” Arwen whispered sadly. “I will go to him, but what about you?” “I will manage. Aragorn is here.” Erestor hugged Arwen one more time, before hurrying towards Elrond’s study. His heart ached when he saw his mate sitting behind his desk, completely still. Only Elrond’s eyes seemed to still be alive, and Erestor could see pain and despair in them. “Come with me, meleth.” Erestor said and picked his hervenn up. Elrond obeyed silently and let Erestor lead him into their bedroom. Erestor undressed Elrond gently and lowered him on the bed. He was worried for Elrond; he didn’t seem to even realize that he was there. After undressing, Erestor lay beside Elrond and took him in his arms. They were silent for a long time. Only Erestor’s soft whispers and loving words sometimes broke the silence. Finally, Elrond’s mask broke and he burst into tears. For a long time he wept in Erestor’s arms, until his tears finally ran dry. Erestor had tears in his own eyes too, when he looked at Elrond’s pain. He kissed his exhausted mate softly, and whispered: “I know that it hurts, but I won’t leave you alone no matter what happens. I will be with you always, meleth. Elrond couldn’t answer, his emotions threatened to overwhelm him. Now he understood what Master Irmo had meant with his enigmatic words after their bonding. Elrond still remembered the event like it happened yesterday. * * * * * Flashback: Elrond didn’t sleep immediately. He just held Erestor close, caressing his face and hair. In his mind, he sent a silent prayer of thanks to the Valar. //You have granted me a gift more precious than I am worthy to receive. He is so loving, so beautiful. It’s nothing but miracle that he loves me// Elrond had hardly ended his prayer, when he felt something. It was like someone was touching his mind carefully. //So, you finally decided not tot fight against that which was written in your life’s tapestry a long time ago. You are right. Your mate is one of the most incredible elves to ever live in Arda. His emotions are deep like The Endless Sea and that makes him more powerful than any other of his kin. Someone weaker would have faded long time ago because of your actions.// Elrond trembled, and he had tears in his eyes. //I’m so sorry, Híren. I didn’t know. I thought that I had no right to love him, to accept his love.// //You must let Celebrían go. She is the mother of your children and that was meant to be, but that part of your life is over. She is happy and free now, and she has her soul- mate beside her. You are nothing more than a dear friend and happy memories to her.// //I let her go. I have never wished anything but happiness for her. I turn to Erestor and will love him till the end of Arda.// //So be it, my child, and remember this: we chose him for you for a reason. There will be great joy but also deep sorrow in your path. His love will be steady and solid, giving you strength to go on and your fate goes along with Arda’s future.// //So be it. I’m greatly blessed to have him. I’m going to do my best to cherish and love Erestor till the end of Arda. I will keep him safe and give him everything I have, everything I am. All my love I give to him. This I swear.// The connection faded, leaving silence behind. Elrond was stunned, but in his heart was complete peace. Finally, he understood that this was what was meant to be all along; that this was what they were born for. What a fool he had been when he had tried to deny this. This precious creature, who slept peacefully in his arms, was the very reason to live and fulfill his quest. End flashback: * * * * * “What are you thinking of, meleth?” Erestor asked, when Elrond didn’t answer. “I thank for Valar every day that they gave me you, Erestor nín. Without you and your love, I couldn’t continue. Love me, saes. I need you now.” Elrond said with a hoarse voice. He looked into Erestor’s beautiful, dark eyes and his heart almost stopped when he saw unreserved love and affection blazing in them. “I will love you, always, meleth nín.” Erestor said softly, kissing his mate with all the love, he held for him. Despite his grief, Elrod felt a familiar heat rising inside him when their kiss deepened. He groaned against Erestor’s lips, begging for more. Erestor couldn’t deny anything to him. Elrond meant everything to him, and Erestor was ready to do anything to take his beloved’s pain away. Erestor took his time, praising and caressing Elrond’s body, until he was writhing beneath him, begging to be taken. “Look at me, meleth.” Erestor demanded, settling between Elrond’s legs. He was relieved to see that the sparkle had returned in Elrond’s eyes. Erestor smiled at him lovingly, as he slowly took him. “Do you feel how much I love you?” Erestor whispered, as he started to move. “Ah… Aye! Erestor…I love you so.” Elrond sobbed, clinging on his mate. He forgot the world around him, he forgot his grief, and he forgot everything else but his Erestor within him, loving him ever so gently. A broken cry escaped from his lips, when he finally reached his peak. Erestor followed soon, and Elrond cradled the trembling elf in his arms. The heat finally settled and only sweet warmth and languor was left. Elrond kissed Erestor’s damp brow, feeling himself completely loved and safe. “Are you feeling any better, meleth?” Erestor finally asked, studying carefully Elrond’s face. “Arwen’s decision is hard to bear, but still, I understand her.” “And how so? My heart too almost broke when I heard her decision.” Erestor said, surprised. “I can understand that it is possible to love someone so much, that even death would be easier to bear than a whole eternity without him. I understand, because I love you that much, meleth. Without you, my life would be meaningless, empty and cold.” Elrond whispered softly, smoothing Erestor hair. “Oh, Elrond! I love you, too, more than life itself. Sleep now, meleth. I won’t leave you, ever.” Elrond snuggled closer to Erestor and slept, but even in his slumber, he could feel Erestor’s love wrapping around him like a warm, protective blanket. Erestor lay wide-awake, holding Elrond close and thinking about his words. Now he understood Arwen’s choice, for he too would choose Elrond rather than a whole eternity without him. FIN.