Title: Gone too Far Away
Author: Anonymous slashlover
Pairings: Glorfindel/Elrond, Glorfindel/Erestor
E-mail: sl_anon@yahoo.com
Rating: R for self-mutilation (sorry if you aren’t into that) and angst
Author’s Note: There is non-canon character death.


It was late fall, what used to be his favorite season of the year. The 
colors made everything seem so perfect. The wind was now beginning to pick up,
sending the leaves in vibrant patterns around Imladris. It was just starting
to cool down, which made it intensely pleasant to be outside. The sky here
was nearly always cloudless. The smell of snow was just beginning to
infect the air and catch everyone’s breath from time to time. Fall had
always been his favorite time, ever since he had been an Elfling.

Now he hated it. No, worse than that. He loathed it. Loathed it with a
passion. Every gust of colorful leaves brought on another wave of
unquenchable grief. Every leaf that departed from the tree reminded him
of what he had lost. Every time someone smiled or laughed, even if they
quickly stifled it in his presence, made him want to do something
unspeakable. Still, the few Elflings around here couldn’t help it. For most
of them, this was their favorite season, and despite the fact that most of
Imladris was grieving right now, they were oblivious to it.

No one knew how terribly melancholy he felt. No one understood the pain
he was going through. All of Imladris had grieved the death. Only it was
worse for him. They hadn’t lost a best friend, a lover; his better half. 
They
hadn’t been the ones to see the always coolly stoic elf break down and cry,
sometimes for entire nights at a time. They had never been there at every
single rage he got into to calm him down. They had never been there all
the time. And he had. Every single instance, every time they had been
together, had been running through his mind for the past week.

He had not allowed himself to say his beloved’s name in all that time. It
would, he was sure, just end whatever restraint he had managed to
summon up. So, although he had been asked to say a few words, he had
declined. He had closeted himself up to cry. He, too, was not one to cry in
public. Never had been.  Still, all the rage and sorrow and despair was
bottling up in him, building up the pressure. He wasn’t sure how much
more he could take before it all became too much.

He had come out this morning because Erestor had forced him to. Erestor,
who had done his valiant best to keep a smile on his face, even though he
was in mourning. Erestor had woken him up this morning and told him
that he couldn’t stay inside anymore.

“It’s safer in here.”

Erestor had smiled sadly. “You have to leave sometime.”

“I’m not sure I do. Look what happened to him when he left.”

“That was a fluke. How many times had he been out there before? It was
what he did. It was what he was suited for. It was part of him. Just like
you.”

That started the tears up again. He furiously wiped them away, but Erestor
sat beside him on the bed and held him until the sobs subsided. “You’ll
never get over this unless you face it,” said Erestor primly. “So you’re
going outside. I want you to go sit in the gardens or something. Think
about anything else. It’s the only way you’re going to survive.”

“I have lost too many…I can’t go on.”

“Stop being ridiculous. Of course you can. And you will. I’m not giving
you a choice. We need you alive and well around here, now that he’s
gone.”

He had done as Erestor said. Erestor was stubborn enough to be able to
convince anyone to do anything. That was why he was wandering
aimlessly down the paths. The brisk wind whipped around his face,
forcing him to close his eyes. That was a mistake. His beloved’s image
appeared before him. Stumbling back, almost falling, he opened his eyes.
Breathing heavily, he leaned against a tree. Looking down, he saw that his
hands were shaking. Consciously, he calmed himself and stood still until
the tremors wracking his body had stopped. Only then did he feel it was
safe to continue.

At the next available opportunity, he fairly collapsed down onto a bench.
It was cold beneath him, but the cold seemed to take away the fantastical-
seeming outlook on everything. Nothing seemed quite real. It was though
he was looking at everything through a fog. Nothing was clear, and he had
the dismal feeling that nothing would ever be clear again.

I love you a voice seemed to whisper in the wind. I will always be with
you. I love you forever, meleth-nin.

“Liar,” he said, “liar.” He recalled that this was what his lover had said 
the
first night that they had slept together. Not even wanting to close his 
eyes,
he could still imagine it. It was completely improbable that they had ended
up as lovers; they were both surprisingly shy when it came down to
romance, and they had been sidestepping each other for decades.

Lying in his beloved’s arms, feeling complete for the first time in his 
life,
as his lover continued to trace gentle kisses down his neck and chest,
licking the perspiration from their rather frantic lovemaking, biting him in
certain well-located spots so that all of Imladris would know he was
claimed, he knew there was no one else he would ever be happy with.
Millennia of bliss had followed. They were elves, they were both
relatively immortal. There was no reason they ever need be parted. With a
sad smile, he recalled that they had been planning their bonding ceremony
only last week.

Tears started to trace down his cheeks, and he did not even have the
energy to brush them away. Feeling the sting in his eyes as the cold air hit
the salty liquid blurring his vision, he took a deep breath and rose to his
feet. He had been out here too long.

You are the most perfect elf I have ever known.

He smiled bitterly. That had been the note on his gift their hundredth
anniversary. They had been fighting but that had deftly ended the fight. He
remembered finding the note on his desk that morning. All work forgotten,
he had immediately gone to see his beloved and they had made love right
in his office. They hadn’t cared if anyone saw or heard them. That didn’t
matter. All that mattered was that they had been in love.

A fresh stream of tears coursed down his face. Leaning back against a tree
as he started to be overcome, he sank down to the ground and clutched his
knees to chest, hugging them tightly. He didn’t care if anyone saw him in
this undignified position. That wasn’t important.

Nothing, he realized, was important anymore. Nothing mattered anymore.
There was nothing that would spark any interest in him anymore. It was all
gone. Every spark of life was gone out of him. He was a shell of who he
had been, and nothing would be enough to convince him to pick the pieces
up again. His self had been scattered to the wind.

Pulling himself up, he knew it was time to go to be alone. He had broken
down again and it was at times like this that it was necessary for him to be
alone. He couldn’t bear for anyone, even Erestor, to see him like this. This
was just about as bad as it got.

Every gesture reminded him of his lover. When he pushed his long hair
out of his face, he was reminded of how his lover liked to play with his
hair after they had had sex. A bitter smile appeared on his face at that 
one.
When he heard the gentle tread of footsteps echoing behind him, he was
reminded of how his lover would sneak up on him and ambush him in
some secret place. He had lost count of the places they had made love. He
had scolded his lover once, only half in jest, “We are among the most
important elves on Arda. What would you say if someone caught us acting
like Elflings?”

“I don’t care,” his lover had replied. “I don’t care. I love you. I don’t 
care
who knows that. Nothing will convince me to stop this.”

He began to hum a song to try to get his mind off of things, as Erestor had
suggested. It took him about fifteen seconds to realize that he was
humming his lover’s favorite song. Once he realized this, he ran inside,
not caring who saw him or what anyone thought of him. He had to be
alone, he had to get away.

Then he made the mistake of going to his lover’s rooms. That had only
brought more tears. Ever since he had received the news, he had moved
back into his rooms.  Finally making it back to his room, he collapsed
down onto his bed, his body shaking with the force of his sobs. He didn’t
hear Erestor enter the room, didn’t notice his presence until the slender
dark-haired elf embraced him. “Shh,” Erestor murmured in his ear. He did
not tell him it would be okay, because they both knew that this would
never again be okay. Erestor was smart enough to understand that.

“Go away.”

“I’m not leaving you alone. You’re not well, and everyone here, myself
including, cares about you too much. I’m sorry, but I can’t leave you
alone.”

“If you care about me at all, you will.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m not going.”

He pinned Erestor face-down and drew his dagger. He pressed the tip
lightly against the back of Erestor’s neck. “You will leave now.”

“You’d have to let me up first.” Erestor knew when he had taken it too far
and wasn’t going to press the issue. As soon as the blade of the dagger was
removed, Erestor slipped off the bed. “You know where to find me if you
need anything. Anything.”

“Go away.” He buried his head into a pillow until he heard the gentle click
as Erestor closed the door behind him. He waited for a minute to make
sure that Erestor was really gone and then rolled onto his side.

He didn’t want to hurt Erestor. Erestor had done nothing but comfort him.
It was wrong of him to snap at Erestor and he would apologize later. There
was no need to take out his agony on Erestor.

Then he realized that he was still holding the dagger, could feel its cold
weight in his hand. It was, he realized with another sad smile, another gift
from his beloved. It was beautiful, with an ornately carved hilt decorated
with two rubies. Incomprehensibly impractical, it was still beautiful, and
he had never taken it off his person.

Almost before he realized what he was doing, the dagger was poised
expectantly at the soft skin on the inside of his forearm. Applying just a
little pressure, the cold steel bit lightly into his arm. A thin stream of 
blood
appeared. It was funny, but it didn’t hurt, not even a little. Pressing a 
little
harder, the blade sank a little deeper. A little more blood trickled out.

He knew that he was not in control of himself now and deep down he
knew that he should call Erestor. Erestor would take care of him and stay
with him until this fit of madness that had suddenly possessed him
stopped. Only he couldn’t stop himself. The slightly lightheaded feeling
that passed over him approached calm and collected. It was the first time
he had felt that way since he had heard the news. Seeing his lifeblood
leave his own body seemed to be a repayment. A life for a life.

Wanting to close his eyes, but keeping them open in morbid fascination,
he began to seriously work on his arm. Quick, vigorous slashes produced
the ever-calming lifeblood, dripping off his arm and soaking into the
sheets of the bed. It wasn’t long before he could no longer see most of his
arm for the blood that coated it. His slashes were not random, they were
clear and meaningful.

He dared not pause for the feeling that he might lose his nerve. Some of
the pain was starting to become evident. Now he was having to bite his
tongue to continue. This had purged the madness out of him, but he wasn’t
finished yet. He couldn’t stop yet. By the time he was finished, he was
gasping in pain. The dagger dropped from his suddenly seemingly
nerveless right hand to land on the bed. It was covered in blood, from the
tip of the blade all the way to the hilt. The rubies were the only part of 
the
dagger that seemed to benefit from this. It was as if they had drunken in
the blood and that made them shine ever more radiantly.

Now that his madness was completely gone, he stared at his arm
objectively. With a completely clear mind, he rose and walked to the
bathroom to wash the blood off, leaving a trail of red behind him. The
crimson liquid soaked into the sleeve of his shirt, dripped onto and soaked
into his leggings.

It took several minutes of washing to clean the blood off and rinse it down
the sink. It took longer than that for the blood to stop flowing. When it
was all done, before he took out the clean white gauze and wrapped away
his shame, he stared at what he had done.

‘Elrond,’ it read.

Glorfindel closed his eyes as, once again, he began to weep.




Chapter Two

“I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel.”
	-Papa Roach


Note: This is so completely non-canon that it stuns me. I’m talking
seriously…Elrond dies!!!! He’s not supposed to do that!! So, don’t anyone
even think about flaming me for it.

Erestor opened Glorfindel’s door and immediately caught a whiff of the
acrid smell of blood. His gaze dropped to the floor. He could easily make
out the drops of blood leading either two or away from the bathroom.
Lying on the floor near the bathroom door was a bloody dagger. It was,
Erestor recalled, the same dagger that Glorfindel had threatened him with
the previous night. “Oh, Glorfindel, what have you done?” he murmured.
He could see Glorfindel’s form on the bed and walked over.

Glorfindel was breathing, Erestor noticed at once. That, at least, was good.
Gently, trying not to wake Glorfindel, Erestor surveyed Glorfindel’s body.
His eyes caught on the bandage wrapped tightly around Glorfindel’s left
forearm. “How could you do this to yourself, mellon-nin?” asked Erestor.
He had known that Glorfindel was grieving, but if he had known how bad
it really was, he would not have left last night, no matter the threat that
Glorfindel gave.

He was so lost in his thoughts of what should have and could have been
that when the first clap of thunder came, he jumped. Looking out the
window, he saw that the skies had grown dark and stormy. Vicious rain
began to pelt against the windows and Erestor could gauge the force of the
wind by the way the trees were tossed this way and that. Sitting beside
Glorfindel, he wished that he knew what to do. He had known Glorfindel
and Elrond forever, and it hurt him more than anyone knew to see
Glorfindel like this. He had rejoiced when they became lovers, for both
had lost too much in their lives. They had finally both been happy.

“Elrond?” murmured Glorfindel, rolling over and beginning to wake up.

“No, mellon, tis I, Erestor.”

Glorfindel turned back away. “Erestor, I don’t know what to do.”

Erestor knew better than to recriminate Glorfindel for what he had done.
There was no need to sink Glorfindel deeper into depression. But it had to
be mentioned, and Erestor had to know if Glorfindel intended to do it
again. “Do I have to take away all your weapons, mellon? I don’t want
you to be able to hurt yourself. It’s for your own good.”

“Yes…you probably should.” Glorfindel knew that Erestor was looking
out for him and was glad for that. He knew that he needed someone to do
that for him. “I’m sorry…I know I shouldn’t have…”

“Don’t worry about it, Glorfindel. Did you clean it? Disinfect it? Because
if you didn’t, then I’m going to do it for you.”

“Just leave me, Erestor.”

“I’m afraid that I can’t do that.” He had been walking around the room,
collecting the various weapons that Glorfindel owned. Lastly was the
bloody knife. Balancing the bundle in his arms, he said, “I’m going to go
put these somewhere you won’t find them. And then I’m going to come
back and we’re going to talk. Okay?”

Glorfindel nodded. “Can you bring some food with you?”

“Of course.” As Erestor left, a bright flash of lightning illuminated the
dark room. It showed the worry and concern on Erestor’s face, the sorrow
in his eyes and the grief in the lines of his face and posture. There was,
though, a flicker of hope in his face, a knowledge that life would go on
and that someday everything would go back to normal. All that the
lightning showed on Glorfindel was an utterly overwhelming despair, a
knowledge that life had ended and nothing would bring it back. They both
heard a crack as the lightning struck a tree. Another life had been ended.

*****

Erestor didn’t know how to help Glorfindel. Or at least not without
making it sound like he was upset with Glorfindel. Glorfindel was his best
friend and Erestor couldn’t stand to see him hurt like this. Finding some of
Glorfindel’s favorite sweets (and making carefully sure that there were no
foods that Elrond adored), and placing them on a tray, he walked up to
Glorfindel’s room.

“Glorfindel,” he said as he walked in. “I have some food for you.”

“Not hungry,” said Glorfindel, who was still lying in bed.

“You have to eat,” said Erestor, setting the food down on a table and
walking over to the bed. He sat by Glorfindel, stroking the golden hair
gently.  “Things won’t get better if you just lie here, mellon.”

“Things won’t get better if I do anything, Erestor,” said Glorfindel in a
dull voice. “Nothing is ever going to be right again.”

“Please eat.” Erestor sighed. “And have you cleaned out your…arm?”
Erestor wasn’t sure how to phrase it so it didn’t sound judgmental. He
looked over the bandage again and saw some faint traces of red. Was the
thing still bleeding? “Can I please see it?”

“I don’t need you to…judge me.”

“You’re my best friend. I’m here to help you, and if you don’t want my
help, then I’m here to stay with you to try and make your life livable
again.”

Glorfindel pulled away from Erestor, but Erestor was fed up with this. He
wrapped an arm around Glorfindel’s waist and held him still. “I’m going
to explain a couple of things to you, Glorfindel, and I don’t want you
going anywhere while I do. First off, I am here for you. I don’t care when
or for what, if you ever need me, I will stop whatever I am doing and
come to your side. Secondly, you aren’t getting anything sharp in your
presence when you are alone until I say so. Thirdly, every time you start
thinking about whatever it was you were thinking about last night, I want
you to come and talk to me.”

“I just want to die.”

Another crash of thunder.

“Do you honestly think that Elrond would want you to give up on life?”

Glorfindel honestly considered the question. Elrond had always been so
vibrantly alive. No matter how bad things got, Elrond remained optimistic
and determined. Oh yes, he did get angry, but he never gave up hope that
things would eventually get better. And that was what had gotten him
killed. He told Erestor as much, and Erestor laughed at him.

“Glorfindel, my dearest friend, you have been by Elrond’s side for the past
millennia, but you have missed so much!”

Glorfindel was hurt. He attempted to move away from Erestor, but Erestor
wouldn’t let go. “I loved him!”

“I never said you didn’t. Elrond always believed in living every day like it
was his last. You, you’re lying there, acting as though you were already
dead. You can remember him better if you…not necessarily move on, but
if you at least pretend that there is some point in living.”

“There is no point in living.”

“I said pretend. Do you think you can pretend?”

Glorfindel sighed. “Don’t play your mind games with me, Erestor. Elrond
may have liked them, but they drive me insane. Very well. I will pretend
to be happy, I will pretend that nothing is wrong.”

Erestor knew that that was going to be very hard for Glorfindel. “And I
will be there for you. I want you to know that. Now let me see your arm.”
He had to see how bad it was, though by the amount of blood he had so far
seen around the room, it had been quite bad.” He grabbed for Glorfindel’s
arm. Glorfindel made no protest.

Erestor closed his eyes when he saw how bad it truly was. Biting his lip
and tasting blood of his own, he said, “Glorfindel…” He trailed off. There
was nothing he could say that wouldn’t sound judgmental and nothing that
he could say without screaming at Glorfindel. So he would say nothing.

“I know its bad, Erestor. You don’t have to tell me that. And I know you
don’t approve of it…”

“Glorfindel,” said Erestor, switching topics until he could think of
something suitable to say regarding Glorfindel’s arm, “you promised to
pretend to act normally, and that means you will have to eat.”

With a sigh, Glorfindel sat up, as Erestor freed him, and walked over to
the food. “Who is running Imladris right now?” asked Glorfindel after a
few moments.

Erestor stood and walked over to stand beside the taller elf. “I am, or at
least I’m trying. There’s so much to be done.”

Glorfindel smiled. “Elrond was a genius.” He turned to Erestor and
embraced him tightly. “I miss him so much already. Every time I do
anything, I always turn to see Elrond do it with me, and he’s never there.
He’s gone Erestor. Nothing will ever bring him back.” He was sobbing by
now.

“I know. I mourn him, too. I know that it will never be in the same way or
to the same extent that you do, but I mourn. But we will make it through
this, Glorfindel. I swear to you that we will find some way to make it
through this.”

The two elves sat down, still touching, still both needing the warm
reassurance of another elf that cared. They sat in comfortable silence, each
occasionally taking a piece of food. Glorfindel’s arm was wrapped
casually around Erestor’s shoulders and Erestor’s head was resting lightly
on Glorfindel’s shoulder, his arm around Glorfindel’s waist.

They didn’t notice that the storm had stopped. Slowly, the rain dissipated
and the wind died down. The clouds began to part, and a few scant rays of
sunlight made their way to the ground. Elves once again began to emerge
outside. None minded the occasional inconvenience of a thunderstorm, the
rain provided needed nourishment for all of Imladris. And once the storm
was over, everything seemed a little brighter for the brief spell of
darkness.


Chapter Three

The first rays of sunlight illuminated Erestor’s wearied features. The lines
of sorrow were wiped away in sleep, though. It was only in sleep that
Erestor found respite from the hell that life in Imladris had quickly
become. As the light hit Erestor’s eyes, he blinked several times and
rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He sat up and ran his hands through his
slightly-longer-than-shoulder-length dark hair, hoping to convince it to
look somewhat presentable. Knowing that he had to hurry, he got out of
bed and threw on his formal robes. They were black. Black was not his
choice of colors, but he was in mourning and it would look odd if he
didn’t wear them. A bird began to chirp its high-pitched song from his
windowsill. Erestor turned and saw the cardinal that had adopted him.
Erestor scattered some seeds on the windowsill and then went back to the
matter of making himself presentable for the funeral.

It took him about twenty minutes before he felt that he was ready to leave.
Mentally, he composed himself. He was going to have to be the strong one
today. Taking a deep breath, he headed down the hall and knocked on
Glorfindel’s door. There was no response. He knocked again, slightly
harder. There was still no answer. Shaking his head in mild confusion, he
opened the door (it was unlocked on Erestor’s orders) and looked in. He
saw Glorfindel sitting by the window, already dressed and ready.
“Glorfindel?” he asked softly, walking over. As he got closer, he could see
the tears rolling steadily down the blonde’s cheeks. He crouched down and
pulled the elf into his arms. “Shh, Glorfindel. We have to be strong.”

“You be strong. I can’t.” Glorfindel, nevertheless, took several calming
breaths. He was a warrior, and no one had actually seen him cry (except
Erestor, who would never tell, and Elrond, who was in no position to). “I
don’t think I can do this, Erestor.”

Erestor couldn’t help but nod. He didn’t think that Glorfindel was
emotionally ready to be put through this. Looking around the room, he
couldn’t help but notice that everything that even vaguely reminded
Glorfindel of Elrond had been removed. Glorfindel had gone to the
extreme, trying to block out everything that would bring back memories.
Erestor knew that that was not what Elrond would want for him to do.
Still, it was better for Glorfindel to do this than cut himself. Erestor
routinely checked Glorfindel’s room to make sure that there was nothing
that Glorfindel could hurt himself with and so far had found three daggers
and a kitchen knife. Erestor was at a loss as to how much more he could
do for his friend. “You loved him. You have to go down there.”

“I can’t face them.” Glorfindel was honestly surprised by how much
Erestor seemed to care. Erestor had always been a friend to him and a
friend to Elrond, but he had also seemed vaguely distant. Always ready to
join in on a conversation but somehow separated from them. Glorfindel
had often wondered about the elf’s reticence, but had never called him on
it. Now, though, Glorfindel was hard-pressed to recall any times where
Erestor was not within a minute’s reach of him. Not that he was
complaining, but it just seemed an entirely different kind of attitude.

“I’ll be with you, mellon-nin. You know that. You don’t have to stay long.
Just enough to show that you were there. You have to honor Elrond’s
memory somehow. He would want this from you.” Erestor stood up, and
then offered his hand to Glorfindel. Glorfindel took it and rose to his 
feet.

“Why are you doing this for me?” asked Glorfindel, finally voicing his
feelings.

“Doing what?”

“You always seemed so distant. Not cold, necessarily, but distant. And
now you are always at my side.”

“You lost your lover. I thought that you would appreciate some
company…and you need someone to take care of you when you decide
not to take care of yourself.” Erestor kept the malice out of his voice only
because of long practice in doing so. This was taxing on Erestor, to keep
Glorfindel from doing anything to himself and also trying to keep Imladris
running.

“I suppose you’re right. Come on, then, let’s go.” Glorfindel put an arm
around Erestor’s shoulders and Erestor followed suit. Together, they
walked downstairs, where a better part of Imladris was waiting. Someone
had asked Glorfindel to say a few words, but Erestor had told them no.
Glorfindel was a wreck already, and there was no need to put him through
anything more than what he had been through.

Elrond was in a closed coffin. The wreck of his body would have only hurt
Glorfindel more. Glorfindel had not actually seen the body, and that had
been due to careful scheming on Erestor’s part. The orcs had not been kind
to Elrond. They had beaten him nearly to death. They had then snapped
his spine. Next, they had cut off his hands and feet. It was about then that
Elrond had died. This did not stop the orcs, though. They beheaded Elrond
and then attempted to burn the body. Fortunately, some Imladris elves had
found the orcs at that point, and removed all of Elrond from the fire. But
Glorfindel did not need to know that. And Glorfindel especially did not
need to see that.

Erestor steered Glorfindel around the room, careful to avoid most
conversation. The last thing anyone, especially Erestor or Glorfindel,
needed was for Glorfindel to break down here. Erestor mostly just wanted
Glorfindel to be seen. This was a step towards closure, as well, and if 
there
was one thing that Glorfindel needed, it was for him to slowly get over
Elrond’s death. Most people seemed to understand that, for which Erestor
was thankful. He was not above being rude to people today to protect
Glorfindel. Normally a mild elf, he was noted for his sharp tongue when
annoyed.

“I don’t know how much longer I can stand this,” murmured Glorfindel.

“It won’t be much longer, mellon,” replied Erestor. “I have to say
something…”

“You’re doing it instead of me?”

“Do you mind?”

“No…it’s just…you’re going to have to leave me alone…and I don’t think
that I want that.”

Erestor smiled sorrowfully. “What happened to the Glorfindel that I
knew? The warrior? The Balrog-slayer?”

Glorfindel looked at the ground. “He died with Elrond.”

“Just stay here. I’ll make it quick.” Erestor squeezed Glorfindel’s shoulder
lightly, and then made his way to the front of the room. The room quieted
as they saw that Erestor was ready. Erestor closed his eyes and took a deep
breath. He hoped that he would manage to keep the tears back. Elrond had
been a dear friend to him and he Erestor mourned nearly as deeply as
Glorfindel. Clearing his throat, he said, “It is hard for me to find the 
words
to express what Elrond truly was to all of us. To me, he was a dear friend,
a wise councilor, a steadfast ally, and a grievous enemy. We didn’t always
agree but we always understood each other. Elrond had that gift. No
matter how different you were from him, it always felt like he understood.
And I think he always did. Elrond will undoubtedly be remembered by
history as a great elf, but all of us here knew him more personally, and
such a description of him, to me at least, appears lacking.

“He told me once, a long time ago, that life is worth nothing if not
appreciated. He always lived as though that day was his last. You may
disagree with me, but this tells me that he would not want us to destroy,
however inadvertently, what he created, just because he was no longer
with us. He would want us to live and prosper. None of us will ever forget
him. He was too strong and too…too omnipresent to ever truly leave our
minds.

“I knew Elrond since we were Elflings. Even then, I knew he was special.
Of course, by his birth and all the tragedy of his young life to that point,
everyone knew who he was. Others would have taken advantage of that.
Elrond didn’t. On many occasions, I saw him turn away favors bestowed
upon him because they were out of pity for him. Elrond did not want to be
pitied. He was special in a way that I have seen duplicated in precious few
elves. There was a spark of such vivid, vibrant life that you were drawn to
him, captivated by him. He had the gift of persuasion, of course, but there
was something else. And everyone who routinely came into his presence
knows of what I speak.

“I was with him when we founded Imladris. He was determined to make
this place a haven for all of Elfkind. I think he has succeeded in that. I
think that he would want for that to continue even now. I don’t know what
he would want any of us to do, because I can’t speak for the dead. I do feel
confident in saying, though, that he would want us to live.

“He would want us to live and keep up hope. He would want us to uphold
everything that he valued and everything he stood for. The things that
Elrond did for Imladris and for all of Middle Earth will forever be
remembered. His deeds and his reputation will be known to all of Arda for
all time.  His fame will not end with his death.

“But by the people of Imladris, those who knew him, those who called
him friend, Elrond was not only a mystical warrior-scholar-healer, an elf
to many only one step down from the Valar. He was our friend, our
confidante. He was my friend. I will never forget him. Mellon-nin, if your
spirit resides here today, hear me when I say that that which you lived for
will never die, and that which you died for will live on forever.”

Erestor pushed his way through the people to find Glorfindel. His friend
immediately attached himself to Erestor’s arm. They went upstairs, and
Glorfindel barely made it back to his room before he collapsed into
uncontrollable spasms of sobs. Erestor held him and soothed him. “We
have to be strong, Glorfindel. We have to keep Imladris together. I cannot
do that alone.”

“I’m not strong enough…”

“That’s why I’m here. I will be strong for you. I will take some of the
burden for you and we will make this alright. We will keep Imladris going
and we will never give up hope.” Gently, he caressed Glorfindel’s cheek.
“We will survive, Glorfindel. I swear that to you.”

Glorfindel nodded, trying as best he could to stop crying. He hated to cry.
“I can try, Erestor. That is the only promise I will make. I will try.”

“And that is all I am asking from you.”

There was a soft chittering from the window. Erestor looked over and saw
his cardinal. Smiling, he walked over to the window, opened it, and let the
bird in. The bird proceeded to ignore him and flew promptly over to
Glorfindel. It landed softly on Glorfindel’s shoulder and made itself
comfortable. Glorfindel was surprised at first by this, but then smiled. The
bird made him feel needed and welcome. “Is it your bird?” he asked
Erestor.

“That is a wild bird. It belongs to no one. It adopted me for a time, but I
think that you will be its next victim. It needs you. Look, one of its wings
is crooked, it cannot survive without help from someone. If the bird
decides it needs you, then you have to be willing to help it.”

Glorfindel smiled a little more. Something needed him now. Something
was depending on him.

It was a good feeling.

The kind of feeling that made life worth living.
Chapter 4

He smiled, removing his prize from beneath the pillow. It was just after
dark, and Erestor had finally gone to bed. Glorfindel did not mind
Erestor’s presence. In some ways, it helped him to almost forget that he
would never see Elrond again.  It was just that Erestor was so motherly
that Glorfindel felt like he was being smothered. Now he was all alone,
and he had finally managed to smuggle this dagger in unseen. Erestor was
extremely canny at finding all of Glorfindel’s captured weapons.

The dagger was not his own. He had taken it from one of the men at the
funeral. He had slipped it up his sleeve and Erestor had not noticed. Now
he was all alone, and soon he would be with Elrond again. That was what
was most important. Only now it was not sorrow he felt, nor depression,
only a solemn determination to end his life. That meant that his wrists
were a less viable option than, say, his carotid. He placed the cool tip of
the blade to his throat, testing his own courage. Erestor had called him
brave. It would take a truly brave man to be able to kill himself. Now
Glorfindel had to see if he was as brave as everyone liked to call him.

He took a deep breath. He had to think about this. This could not be any
spur of the moment decision. He was too rational for that right now. Any
decision he was about to make had to be a rational one.  Firstly, then, he
had to think about those that he would leave behind. Notably, there was
Erestor. It was difficult to know how Erestor would take it. Glorfindel
really didn’t know Erestor as well as he might like to.  It was fairly safe 
to
say, though, that there was much that Erestor could not do in Imladris.
Imladris would not remain long with just Erestor ruling it. That was one
thing in favor of Glorfindel putting the dagger down right now.

Then again, there were the pros to killing himself. He would see Elrond
again. He was sure of that. Also, all the emotional and psychological pain
would gone and there would be no more feelings of hopelessness and
absolute endless despair that would never be fixed. Glorfindel knew that
that alone would be worth dying.

Glorfindel looked up to hear a chirping from the window. He looked over
and saw the cardinal at the window. Picking up a small something from
the table nearest to him, he chucked it at the bird. With a reproving
squawk, the bird flew off. Glorfindel shook his head. The bird knew
nothing. The bird did not feel his pain. The bird understood nothing about
why this was the right choice for him.

Glorfindel took in a deep breath. This had to be done quickly, or he knew
he would lose his nerve. He felt his hand trembling and hated himself for
this momentary weakness. He shook his head and gripped the dagger
tightly. Soon he would be with his beloved again. In one smooth stroke, he
sliced through his neck.

*****

Erestor laid down in bed. It had been a long day. What with the funeral
and then comforting Glorfindel all through the rest of the day, he was
more exhausted than he had ever been. He would have never thought that
it would be. He dreaded thinking about what it would be like to run
Imladris. He remembered seeing Elrond exhausted at the end of nearly
every day. And Elrond was far better at these administrative things than he
was. Erestor knew that this would test him as nothing else had.

He closed his eyes and Elrond’s face entered his mind’s eye. That caring,
casual smile and the long nights that the two had once spent together as
friends, drinking, watching the stars, playing chess, talking. A very long
time ago, Erestor had made the most grievous mistake of his life. He had
fallen in love with Elrond.  At the time, such a thing was not an
impossibility, and for a while, Erestor had thought that Elrond might grow
to care for him, too. Only months after Erestor had decided that he loved
Elrond, Elrond had met Glorfindel. It had been love at first sight for both
of them. Erestor had known that he stood no chance.

Erestor had loved Elrond from afar for millennia. He had never really
hated Glorfindel. As a reasonably rational elf, he knew that Glorfindel was
not to blame, as Erestor had never had the courage to tell Elrond of his
love. Erestor became friends with Glorfindel, though he had never quite
been able to stay as close to Elrond. It hurt too much. He had never fallen
in love again, and doubted that he ever would. Elrond had captured his
heart fully and Elrond would always have his heart, even though he was
now dead.

A soft chirping from the window pulled him out of his musings. He looked
up and saw the cardinal on the windowsill. Erestor knew a few words of
the cardinal’s tongue, and could make out some of what the bird said.
Mostly, what he got out of it was ‘danger’. Rising from his bed, he dashed
down the hall to Glorfindel’s room. The door was locked. Erestor sighed.
He took a few paces back from the door and threw his shoulder into it. The
door crashed open.

Erestor did not care about the stinging pain in his shoulder. That didn’t
matter. What mattered was Glorfindel, who was collapsed down on a
chair, streams of red coursing down his clothes. As Erestor watched, the
bloody dagger slipped from Glorfindel’s hand to land with a dull clatter on
the floor. Walking over, Erestor could tell that Glorfindel was still alive, 
if
only barely.

“Glorfindel, why do you do this?” murmured Erestor under his breath. He
inspected the wound quickly. It was not as deep as Erestor might have
expected. Perhaps it was not fatal. He called at the top of his lungs for
someone to help him. Meanwhile, he ripped a length of the sheets off of
Glorfindel’s bed and bound it around Glorfindel’s neck. Erestor looked up
at the cardinal, which had joined him and was waiting outside the window.
Casting a glance at Glorfindel, Erestor opened the window and the bird
flew in to land on his shoulder, chirping happily.

*****

Glorfindel awoke and realized that he was not in the Hall of Waiting.
Instead, he was lying in a clean bed with white sheets. The air smelled like
flowers and fresh earth. He reached up to his neck and felt a thick bandage
there. Grimacing, he tried to decide how Erestor had caught him this time.
A soft twittering issued from beside him. “Stupid damned bird,” he
mumbled.

“That stupid damned bird saved your life,” said Erestor, walking over with
a beatific smile. He sat down on the bed beside Glorfindel.

“I don’t want to live,” said Glorfindel. “I want to die. I want to be with
Elrond.”

“You swore to me that you would try to live.”

“I tried…”

“You did nothing of the sort. As soon as I left, you attempted to kill
yourself. Only the bird saved you. I cannot trust you to be alone…”

“What am I, a child?”

“Elrond would not want you to die. I won’t let you die.”

“So now what? You’ll be at my side all the time?”

Erestor smiled. “Absolutely.” He ran his hand through Glorfindel’s golden
hair. “I want you alive. Imladris needs you alive. Elrond would not want to
see you die. I can guarantee that. I knew him longer than you.”

“You’re driving me insane.”

“That’s the plan.”

*****

Erestor collapsed down into the chair, exhaustion heavying his eyelids.
Glorfindel was sleeping peacefully in the bed in the healing ward. Erestor
knew that he didn’t actually have to stay, as there were healers here all 
the
time, but he felt that he owed Elrond this much. Elrond, why did you have
to go and die? All of us loved you far too much. Erestor wondered idly if
Glorfindel would hate him if he knew how Erestor had always felt about
Elrond.

“’Restor?” asked Glorfindel sleepily.

Erestor opened his eyes. “Yes?”

“Are you still here?”

Erestor felt that that was a remarkably stupid question, but said, “Of
course I’m here, Glorfindel. Sleep now.”

“Will you stay all night?”

“I promised that I would stay here with you.”

“What will we do tomorrow?”

Erestor smiled at this. “So we are going to try to rule Imladris ourselves?”
A brief nod from Glorfindel. “Then tomorrow, we shall deal with the trade
party from Mirkwood and the diplomat from Lorien. They have been
waiting here for several days now, and I have been waiting until you are in
control of yourself before I leave you alone for too long. It appears that
that was the right thing to do. So get some sleep. We have a lot of work to
do tomorrow. I will make sure that you are so busy, you will have no time
to dwell on anything else.”

Glorfindel mumbled something unintelligible and then settled back down
to sleep. Erestor stood up, stretched, and looked at Glorfindel. While
sleeping, Glorfindel looked like an angel. Erestor smiled at himself. He
was not one to dwell on the fanciful. Perhaps it was just the stress and the
sleeplessness. The cardinal settled on his shoulder and pecked lightly at
his ear. Erestor swatted it away, but it refused to budge.

Erestor walked over to Glorfindel’s side. A slight smile grew on
Glorfindel’s face, something that Erestor had not seen in nearly long
enough. He truly is beautiful. Erestor was surprised at that thought. The
only elf he had ever considered beautiful was Elrond. Are you falling for
Glorfindel? That would be a terrible mistake. He is so far in grief right
now. He would think you are just trying to take advantage of him.

“Sleep softly, my beautiful Glorfindel,” Erestor said softly.  He smoothed
down the golden hair and returned to his seat. He could not, hard as he
might try, draw his gaze from Glorfindel. Glorfindel had become, in his
mind, the very picture of perfection. Shaking his head at his own needless
foolishness, he closed his eyes. As he drifted off to sleep, Elrond’s face
began to fade in his mind. It was replaced by Glorfindel, Glorfindel as he
had been once, before Elrond’s death. The Glorfindel that had been
radiantly alive and radiantly beautiful, the one who had, unknown even to
Erestor himself, forced his way into Erestor’s heart, usurping Elrond and
making a place for himself there. I think I love you, Glorfindel.

Rising to his feet one last time, and walking over to Glorfindel’s bedside,
he said what he had never dared say to any elf before. “I love you.”




Chapter 5

Erestor woke up with an incredible pain in his neck and back. He made a
mental note to never sleep in a chair again. Unfolding his twisted limbs, he
cautiously stood up, staggering a little as his legs regained feeling again.
He stretched, hoping to relax his muscles, but that only made the pain
worse. Grimacing and muttering a curse under his breath, he resumed his
walk. Slowly, his muscles began to unwind. It was nothing like better, but
it was a lot closer. Only now did he pay any care to Glorfindel, who was
still sleeping soundly. Glorfindel had curled up on his side in the bed and
was clutching the blankets tightly in both hands.

Erestor sat on the edge of the bed and laid a gentle hand on his friend’s
shoulder. Shaking Glorfindel slightly, he said, “Mellon?  It’s time to wake
up.”

With much difficulty and incoherent mumbling, Glorfindel opened his
eyes and looked at Erestor. “Can’t I just sleep?” He half sat up, lying
down just enough to ensure that he would be able to fall asleep in seconds
again if he won this conversation.

Erestor wanted desperately to say yes, that he would watch over
Glorfindel while he slept. He knew he couldn’t, though, and so he said, “It
really would be better if you did get up.” Erestor slipped his arm around
Glorfindel’s shoulders. “We have to start getting things in order around
here. I need your help.”

Glorfindel wrapped himself around Erestor, pulling Erestor down into a
lying position. “I can’t handle it today…”

“That’s what you say every day. Now, come on. You have to get up and
come with me. There’s work to be done.” Reluctantly, he freed himself
from Glorfindel’s arms and stood up, running a hand through his hair. It
would be wonderful to get a bath and change his clothes, but he wasn’t
sure whether he trusted Glorfindel enough to let him stay here alone, even
in the healing ward. Glorfindel could be cunning when he put his mind to
it. After all, hadn’t he gotten a dagger past Erestor?

Glorfindel sat up and hung his head. “I…you’re angry with me, aren’t
you, Erestor?”

Erestor shook his head. “Of course not, Glorfindel. Why would I be angry
with you?”

“I’ve caused you so much trouble…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done
everything that I’ve done. I should be in more control.” Glorfindel
straightened up and looked Erestor in the eye. “I swear, on my love for
Elrond, that I will never try to hurt myself again. I will stop being a 
bother
to you.” Glorfindel cast his eyes down on the sheets again, ashamed at
what he had put his friend through.

“You’re not a bother to me at all.” Indeed, thought Erestor, it was only
through dedicating so much of my time to you that I realized how much I
care about you. “It’s just been a long few days, that’s all.” Isn’t that the
truth?!

Glorfindel frowned, realizing something. “You mourned him as deeply as
I, didn’t you?”

Erestor frowned. “Probably not, Glorfindel. He was your lover. I was his
best friend. I mourned Elrond, I still do for that matter, but I doubt that 
it
goes as deep as yours did.” Erestor shook his head slightly; somehow he
doubted that his mourning for Elrond had actually been any less than
Glorfindel’s. It was just that Erestor had long ago learned how to bundle
up emotions and shield them, conceal them, from the rest of the world. It
was the only way he had survived as long as he had. “So, are you going to
get up or am I going to have to drag you?”

Glorfindel involuntarily smiled. Then he realized what he was doing and
smiled even more broadly. It had been a long time since there was
anything to smile about. He had thought that any happiness on his part
would somehow indicate faithlessness to Elrond. Now he saw, though,
that Elrond would not have wanted him to be miserable all the time.
Elrond wouldn’t have done any of this if Glorfindel had died. At least
Glorfindel didn’t think so. Elrond just didn’t seem the type. Now
Glorfindel realized that he was thinking about Elrond without even getting
really upset. He supposed that this meant he was getting over the whole
mourning process. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood
up. Yawning and stretching his arms above his head, he said, “I suppose I
shall get up. I will make only one request.”

“I’m listening.”

“Can I bathe before we do anything else today? And I need some fresh
clothes.” Glorfindel smiled again. “I assure you that I will not do anything
to hurt myself. I made that oath, and I will not break it.”

“I do not doubt you, mellon-nin. I suppose I shall offer you a small
measure of trust. I could do with some clean clothes as well. Very well, I
propose that we bathe and change and then meet back here in…say an
hour. Is that sufficient time for the Lord Glorfindel to ready himself?”

Glorfindel smiled at Erestor’s mocking of his grooming habits. Elrond had
often joked with him about it as well, oftentimes in Erestor’s presence.
Sighing theatrically, he said, “I suppose I can manage it in an hour.
Though don’t be surprised if I am late.”

Erestor grinned broadly. Something had broken Glorfindel out of his
depressive mood. Erestor was not sure what it was, but he was not
complaining. The only thing that he could see as annoying was that
Glorfindel would no longer be relying on him for everything. Somehow, it
made their relationship closer without Erestor having to do much. Erestor
was smart enough to know not to try anything with Glorfindel; Elrond was
only just dead. To do anything with Glorfindel would be disrespectful to
Elrond’s memory.

Shaking his head at the sudden change in Glorfindel’s behavior, Erestor
left the healing ward and headed for his room. What he would love right
now was a long cleansing bath. The only thing that Erestor could imagine
would make it even slightly better would be if Glorfindel was there as
well. Erestor mentally chastised himself for this thought. Glorfindel would
not be interested even if Erestor offered. Erestor knew that he had to be
intelligent about this. If he ever wanted to be more to Glorfindel than just
a friend, he couldn’t rush things.

As he walked down the halls, everything seemed to be somehow more
alive. It could have been that the sun was shining, really shining, for the
first time since the news had come back.  It added a radiant glow to
everything where there had been none before. Erestor somehow didn’t
think that that was the reason. Or at least not the whole reason. There was
a deeper something in play here. Elrond had been Imladris’s master, and
Imladris had, strange as it seemed, responded, in a way, to Elrond’s
moods. When Elrond was grouchy, the weather was bad. When Elrond
was elated, the weather could not be better.

Thinking of the connection between Elrond and Imladris forced Erestor to
think of Vilya. Fortunately, the orcs hadn’t taken it from Elrond’s corpse.
Erestor was not enough of a fool to allow the ring to be buried with
Elrond. Right now, it sat in a box in Erestor’s room. Erestor knew that
someone would have to take ownership of him; most likely it would end
up being either himself or Glorfindel. Erestor wasn’t sure that he wanted
the burden of that much responsibility, but he wasn’t sure that Glorfindel
was capable of handling it. At least not yet.

Erestor sighed and dismissed these troubling thoughts. They could wait
another day or so. Right now he should be rejoicing in the change of the
weather and Glorfindel’s sudden sanity. So he decided to let go, to relax.
Today would be a good day; the first one of its kind since the terrible
news.  Involuntarily, the memory of having found out assaulted his mind
and he had to lean against the wall for strength.

The elf burst into the room. The first thing that Erestor noticed was the
pale, ghost-like face of the elf. Then he saw the tear-trails down the elf’s
face. That was when he knew something was dreadfully wrong. “What is
it?” he asked, managing to control his voice.

The elf had been unable to find his voice for several moments.  Finally, he
managed to say, “It’s the Lord Elrond…he…he was…was…killed…”

Erestor consciously stopped the memory from playing through in his head.
Later, he could deal with purging those thoughts from his head. Right
now, though, he reminded himself, was a time for happiness, not dwelling
on sore memories and miserable feelings.  Stepping away from the wall,
he entered his room.

*****

Glorfindel didn’t know what had brought about such a change in his
mood. There was no reason he could cite. It was just that when he had
woken up this morning, it had seemed that there was nothing anymore that
he need be worried about. It was curious, but he even felt that his past
actions and mourning had been stupid. He knew that they were not, but it
proved to him, somehow, that he was starting to get over Elrond’s death.
He knew that it would be a long process. He was willing to face it, though,
now, in a way that he had not been able to before this morning. He was
willing to look ahead, not behind. The burden had mysteriously been lifted
from his shoulder. If he had not been an almost avowed atheist (apart from
the fact that yes, he had met Mandos), he would have thought that the
Valar had something to do with it. Or Elrond, at least, reaching out from
the Halls of Waiting. Though he was relatively sure such things could not
happen.

Smiling at allowing himself these idle musings, something Elrond had
long ago strictly forbade him from doing, he entered his room. Looking
around, he saw how empty he was. All the missing objects, he realized,
were things that reminded him of Elrond. Now he decided that it was
stupid for him to have removed them. All the things that reminded him of
Elrond were all cherished memories. Now that he was over the worst part
of his grief, he felt that it might be time to return them to their places.
Maybe he could even convince Erestor to let him have his weapons back.

His thoughts fell once more on the dark-haired elf. In many regards,
Erestor resembled Elrond, both mentally and physically. Glorfindel
remembered that when he had first met them, he was certain that they
were lovers. It had taken a surprisingly large amount of reassurance from
both of them that there was only friendship between them. Glorfindel had
never been sure, but he felt that there had been at least a little love on
Erestor’s part. He had never questioned Erestor about it; as long as Erestor
never made a move on Elrond, it was none of Glorfindel’s business, really.
For the first time, he believed that he was going to get to know the real
Erestor. He had the feeling that before this time, all he had ever known
was the shielded Erestor. Glorfindel wanted to know why Erestor shielded
himself, and found himself curiously wondering how difficult it would be
to break that shield down.

For some reason, Glorfindel thought about the fact that he was not sure
that Erestor had ever had a lover, male or female. It could have just been
that Erestor was very secretive about his personal life, but Elrond knew
more about Erestor than he did, and Glorfindel was sure that Erestor
would have confided in them if he took a lover. Glorfindel couldn’t
imagine why Erestor would have never taken a lover. There was nothing
unappealing about Erestor at all. Though Erestor had a sharp tongue,
Glorfindel could remember numerous moments of tenderness.

Glorfindel frowned at himself. He had never thought about Erestor this
way before. It was strangely disturbing. It was almost as though he was
falling for Erestor…no, you aren’t. You can’t, he told himself. He found
himself wondering why not.

*****

“I just want them both to be happy.”

“I am doing what I can. And you’re helping, too. You’re helping
Glorfindel to realize that it’s okay to get over you, that he doesn’t have 
to
spend every waking moment on dwelling on you.” Mandos looked at
Elrond and smiled. Elrond was a pet project of his; Mandos had gone out
of his way to make Elrond’s life bearable as he had known Elrond’s
eventual fate.

“I never knew that Erestor loved me. How could I have been so blind?”

“He was not for you, Elrond.”

“Do you think that they could be happy together?”

“That’s why we’re doing what we can for them. Erestor’s love will help
Glorfindel to move on with his life. Glorfindel’s love will help Erestor to
become the elf that he is deep down. You hurt him, near mortally
wounded him, when you took Glorfindel as a lover…” Mandos held up a
hand to prevent Elrond from saying anything, and continued, “…part of
him died that day. He has never looked upon another with anything
approaching love since. He started to love Glorfindel on his own, I had no
hand in that.  I’m just helping to…nudge them along, as it were.”

“Like I said, I just want them to be happy.” Elrond had seen what
Glorfindel did to himself in grief and had wanted nothing more than to
take Glorfindel in his arms to comfort him. Mandos had forbidden Elrond
to even visit Glorfindel in a dream, though, saying that it would be better
to let things take their own course. Now Elrond could see why. He hoped
that his best friend and his lover would be happy together. Both of them
deserved it.


YAY!! Couldn’t help but add that part about Mandos at the end! Thank
you for all your overly kind reviews. I don’t deserve any of them! But by
all means continue them : )






Chapter 6

Unsurprisingly, Erestor arrived back at the healing ward twenty minutes
before Glorfindel. Even though he had, after bathing and dressing, told all
of Elrond’s advisors that they would be meeting again. He smiled to
himself. It seemed as though the world was beginning to right itself. His
smile broadened as Glorfindel walked in the room.

Glorfindel looked magnificent. Dressed in fine robes (with sleeves long
enough to cover his arm and a neck high enough to cover the bandage
there) with his golden hair flowing freely around his shoulders, Erestor 
fell
completely in love with him. Controlling himself, though, he forced on a
teasing face and said, “I suppose I was a fool to believe that it would only
take you an hour.”

Glorfindel smiled as well. “I did warn you, Erestor.” Something, though,
in Erestor’s teasing tone bothered him. In Glorfindel’s experience, people
put on that kind of act when they were trying to hide something.
Glorfindel didn’t want Erestor to hide himself. “So, what have you
planned for me today?”

“Nothing too strenuous. We will meet with Elrond’s advisors. There is a
lot of work to be done…”

“And I have prevented you from getting this all done by demanding your
attention around the clock,” interrupted Glorfindel bitterly.  Now he could
see how Erestor saw him; as a bothersome nuisance that distracted him
from the real work of running Imladris. It now seemed so foolish to him to
think that he could be attracted to Erestor. It was pointless; Erestor would
never develop feelings from him.

Erestor frowned and walked over to Glorfindel, shaking his head. “No,
Glorfindel. You are not a nuisance to me. I am your friend, that’s what I’m
here for.” Almost, he reached out to take Glorfindel’s hand, but then
thought better of it. Glorfindel might see through that. Erestor was trying
to work on a solid friendship right now, not confuse Glorfindel with ideas
about how much Erestor really wanted him.

Glorfindel saw the hesitation in Erestor’s eyes and wondered what the elf
was hesitating to do. He grabbed Erestor’s hand on a whim. “Come on,
then. Let us go.” He saw the surprise in Erestor’s eyes, but no resistance,
either. Does he perhaps have feelings for me, as well. It would not seem as
much a betrayal to Elrond if my next lover was one who loved Elrond as
dearly as I did. Erestor’s hand was slightly smaller than his, but just as
strong and callused. Glorfindel was momentarily surprised by this, but not
for long; Erestor spent a fair amount of time in the yard and was reputed to
be quite good with a sword and excellent with a bow, went out on just as
many patrols as Glorfindel and Elrond did, had killed just as many orcs as
them.

Erestor frowned. “Okay.” He pulled his hand free. As much as he would
like to hold Glorfindel’s hand, it just didn’t seem right. They walked down
the halls in a comfortable silence.

Glorfindel paused outside the door. “I don’t know if I’m going to be able
to do this.”

Erestor put a hand on Glorfindel’s shoulder. “It’ll be fine. I’m here with
you. Now, come on.” He opened the door. A dozen elves were already
seated and waiting to begin. At the head of the table were two chairs, not
one. Glorfindel and Erestor took these seats.

“Thank you for coming today,” said Erestor. “It’s important that we try to
put Elrond’s death behind us. There is no point in forgetting the future
because we are too busy remembering the past.”

Glorfindel reached under the table and gripped Erestor’s hand tightly.
Erestor flinched slightly, but otherwise showed no reaction. Continuing to
hold hands under the table, Erestor began to detail what he wanted done.
Not usually prone to extravagant hand gestures, Erestor did not feel that
the loss of one hand significantly impacted his ability to conduct a
meeting.

After nearly twenty minutes of this, he stopped, smiled, and turned to
Glorfindel. “So, do you have any comments, Lord Glorfindel?”

Glorfindel was stunned by that statement. It seemed so cold and
impersonal. Yet Erestor was gently stroking the top of his hand under the
table in a very affectionate manner. These two things seemed to
completely contradict each other. “…No, I have nothing to add.”

Erestor nodded. “Then this meeting is ended. I will see all of you again
tomorrow morning, at the same time.” He remained seated until all the
others had left, and then turned to Glorfindel. “I'm sorry that I took 
control
like that…but I wasn’t sure that you could handle this. If you want to do
tomorrow’s meeting…”

“No, you look like you have everything under control.” Like you don’t
even need me around. Feeling suddenly worthless again, he freed his hand
from Erestor’s and stood up.

Erestor frowned, a little confused by Glorfindel’s actions. And a little 
hurt,
as well. “What is it, Glorfindel?”

“Do you want the truth?”

“Yes.” Erestor walked over to Glorfindel, who had stepped away, and put
his arm around Glorfindel’s waist. “I want to know the truth.”

“It’s just…the way you handled the meeting…it was like you didn’t even
need me around…like I…like it doesn’t matter if I’m here or not because
you’ve got everything under control…”

Erestor laughed. “Meetings have always been my thing. It’s when it comes
down to actually getting the work done that I become lost. I’m sorry if I
made you feel that way, Glorfindel. I didn’t mean to.” I want to kiss you.
Erestor closed his eyes. “So, are you hungry? It’s been a while since
you’ve eaten much.”

Glorfindel shook his head. “No, I’m not hungry at all.” It was the truth.
Many things might have returned to normal, but his appetite was still
gone. He would even go so far as to say that he felt that if he did eat
something, he would probably throw it back up.

Erestor nodded. “Okay. So…what do you want to do now? I want you to
enjoy yourself today. It’s a beautiful day today…what say we go outside?
We could go riding…we could spar…whatever you would like.”

Glorfindel grinned. “You are reputedly good with a sword…are you good
enough to best me?”

“I am vain enough to think that I can at least give you a good fight.”

“Fair enough. Let me change, though.” Glorfindel looked down at his fine
clothes. “I fear that these are not the best for swordplay. I shall meet you
in the yard shortly.”

*****

Glorfindel was surprised. Erestor was better with a sword than Glorfindel
had thought possible. It seemed for the odd moment now and again that
Erestor would actually win. Elves had gathered around to watch the two.
Clearly, they had not thought that Erestor had the skill to even provide
much of a challenge to Glorfindel.

“Ready to yield yet, Glorfindel?” asked Erestor elatedly. This was a
wonderful way to get rid of pent-up emotions. He felt so much freer than
he had in weeks.

“You’re going to have to try harder than this if you want to beat me,” shot
back Glorfindel teasingly.

That was right before he misstepped and tripped over a rock. He struggled
to remain standing, and then fell soundly on his back. Erestor stood above
him, then placed the sword point delicately to Glorfindel’s neck. “Do you
yield?”

Glorfindel really, really didn’t want to yield right now. He saw a weakness
in Erestor’s stance, smiled a little, and smashed the flat of his sword into
Erestor’s left knee. Erestor fell down to his knees, giving Glorfindel the
seconds he needed to get back to his feet. Erestor was just as agile, though
Glorfindel could see the way he winced before he put any weight on his
left leg. “Did that hurt?”

“Yes, you arrogant elf, that hurt.” Erestor began a brutal offensive, 
forcing
Glorfindel to give more and more ground until his arm began to tire.

“Okay, okay, okay, Erestor. We’re friends. There’s no need to try and kill
me.”

“Do you yield?”

Glorfindel hated to do this. It would severely hurt his pride. But he could
see that Erestor was more in the mood for this than he was. Erestor would
win, no matter how long this fight was to be drawn out. “Fine, Erestor. I
yield.” He threw down his sword.

Erestor smiled and stepped back. “’Twas a good fight. We should spar
more often.”

“Depends on how badly we plan on injuring each other,” joked Glorfindel,
retrieving his sword. The two began to head inside.

“True enough. My knee is going to sting something awful.”

“I’m sorry about that.” Glorfindel felt genuinely regretful. You’re never
going to win his heart if you hurt him. Idiot.

Erestor smiled and squeezed Glorfindel’s hand affectionately. “I probably
deserved it. It’s my fault that I let it happen. Think nothing of it.” He
wanted so badly to kiss Glorfindel right now.  He took a deep breath and
continued to walk.

Glorfindel could tell that Erestor was struggling with some unknown
demon. “Is something wrong, Erestor?”

Apart from the fact that I am falling in love with you? “No, nothing’s
wrong.” He walked slightly ahead of Glorfindel. If he didn’t want to lose
his mind to this infatuation, he would have to put some distance between
himself and Glorfindel. This is folly, plain and simple.

Glorfindel was sure he had done something wrong. “If I have done
anything to offend you, Erestor, please tell me what it is.”

“You have done nothing, Glorfindel.” Erestor, as much as he didn’t want
to leave Glorfindel alone, couldn’t deal with being around Glorfindel right
now. His mind was dropping into irrationality, and he needed some time
alone to calm himself and sort his thoughts and feelings out. He would
send someone else to stay with Glorfindel until such time as he was
willing to face Glorfindel. “I shall see you later, mellon-nin.”

As Erestor faded out of sight, Glorfindel closed his eyes. In a voice so 
soft
that only he could hear it, he said, “Please don’t leave me all alone.”

Author’s Note: Aww, poor Glorfindel. Don’t worry, things will get better
next chapter.


Chapter 7

Erestor had just begun to fall asleep when someone knocked on his door.
His first impulse was to ignore it and go back to sleep. It would be so easy
to do. He wanted to curl up and try to sleep. He hardly slept at all these
days and it was starting to affect him. Somehow, he doubted that whoever
this was wanted something urgent from him. Just as he was rationalizing
all of this to himself, though, something else occurred to him. He was,
technically, running Imladris. This could be some emergency. He
remembered several times when he had had to wake up Elrond in the
middle of the night. Mumbling a curse under his breath, he departed from
the warmth of his bed and walked over to the door. Wiping the sleep from
his eyes, he opened the door.

It was Glorfindel. Erestor involuntarily smiled. “What can I do for you,
Glorfindel?” He put a hand on Glorfindel’s shoulder. There was a haunted
look in Glorfindel’s sapphire eyes that worried Erestor a little. “Is
something amiss?” He stepped back from the doorway. “Come in, mellon-
nin.”

Glorfindel stepped inside and Erestor closed the door behind him.
Glorfindel realized that he had never been in Erestor’s rooms before. They
were just as he had expected; cold and impersonal. There were few things
in the room. Upon closer inspection, though, all of them seemed
meaningful. Erestor apparently was not one who collected things just for
the sake of having them, but had simply a few things that meant the world
to him. The room was not exactly welcoming, but it seemed to fit
Glorfindel’s mood. “Do you remember that you told me that I could come
and talk to you…whenever I needed to?” Glorfindel paused for a long
moment. “Well…I think that I need to.”

“Of course, Glorfindel. Sit down. Would you like something to drink? To
eat?” Erestor sensed that this would be a painful conversation and was
doing what he could to delay its beginning. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to
help Glorfindel. He did. It was just that taking all of Glorfindel’s pain 
onto
himself wasn’t necessarily the smartest of ideas.

“No…thank you.” Glorfindel looked at the ground. “I can go if you’d
like.”

“No. Don’t even think about it. Sit down.” He watched as Glorfindel sat
down and then seated himself. All thoughts of sleep were gone from his
mind. Glorfindel looked so upset right now that he just wanted to take
Glorfindel into his arms and hold him. If he thought that that was what
Glorfindel wanted, he would not have hesitated to do so. However, he was
all but certain that Glorfindel did not want him to.

For the first time, Glorfindel saw the tiredness in Erestor’s face. Erestor
had done a good job of hiding it, but now it showed through. Glorfindel
cursed himself for taking up Erestor’s time. He knew that Erestor had
enough trouble of his own, trying to mourn Elrond and yet continue to run
Imladris, without him being such a time-consuming burden. He almost lost
his nerve; he almost got up and walked out. He would like to think that
Erestor cared enough about him to chase after him, but once again, that
was one more strain that Erestor did not need to have placed on him. “Life
has become too hard for me to handle,” he said. Then he realized how
pathetic he sounded and hated himself even more. “I’m sorry, Erestor, I
shouldn’t have woken you…” He began to rise to his feet.

Erestor was too fast for him, though. Erestor pushed him back down into
the chair. “No, mellon. I’m not letting you go anywhere. You’re obviously
upset about something. I’m your friend. I want to help you. So tell me
what’s wrong, tell me what’s on your mind, and we’ll work through it
together.” Part of him was so tired of Glorfindel’s behavior, but he
couldn’t let that show.  Now he cared too much about Glorfindel to be
willing to let anything happen to him. He moved his chair closer to
Glorfindel’s, close enough so that he could hold Glorfindel’s hand. “Talk
to me. The only way things are ever going to get better is if you just talk 
to
me.”

Glorfindel nodded. He knew that Erestor was right. To have Erestor
holding his hand was reassuring as well. He felt himself falling even more
in love with Erestor. Pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind,
though, he began to speak. “I don’t know why it is, Erestor, but…I don’t
feel that I love Elrond any longer.” There. He had said it. And it was true.
Ever since…ever since the second time he had tried to kill himself, he had
no longer felt much love for Elrond. It was to Erestor that his heart now
belonged. “I feel like such a traitor. I feel like I could have not really 
ever
loved him…if it only took me a week to get over him. I feel…I feel like
such a bad person…I feel like…not that there’s no point to living, but that
I will never find the point of living…that I am doomed to just wander
around blindly for the rest of my days.”

“But you don’t feel like…hurting yourself again?” That might be more
than Erestor could bear. He didn’t like to see Glorfindel so vulnerable.
Though it attracted Erestor, in Erestor’s mind, Glorfindel had always been
the strong type, the type that would never crack, no matter the pressure.
Erestor didn’t want to ever walk into Glorfindel’s room and see a bloody
knife again, or Glorfindel collapsed on some piece of furniture, near death.
Erestor didn’t know what he would do if Glorfindel actually succeeded in
killing himself.

“No. I don’t. I want to live…no, its not so much that as there’s just as 
little
point to me right now to dying as to living. I feel so lost, Erestor.” What
makes it so much worse, Erestor, dear friend, is that I have fallen
completely in love with you, and I don’t think that you feel the same way
about me. “I’m sorry…you don’t need my burdens as well as yours.”

“I take them willingly, Glorfindel. That is what friends are for. That is
what I am here for. I am here to help you. I don’t want you to feel like you
are ever a burden on me. Because you are not. Not at all.” I wish that you
loved me. Then I could hold you all night long and show you that there is
a point to living. Only you don’t love me and I don’t think that you ever
will.

Glorfindel nodded. “I suppose you are right. I’ve always…I’m not used to
not being completely in control. I’m used to being strong. And now…it’s
like I’ve lost who I really am and now I’m just…a shadow of myself…that
doesn’t make any sense, does it?” Glorfindel shook his head. “Maybe I’m
just going crazy.”

“You’re not going crazy. It’s just that something really bad happened to
you. Your body is overcompensating for the loss. It’ll take a while, but
I’m certain that things will go back to normal.” I hope they do. I’m not
sure that I like this new Glorfindel. Perhaps, though, he has been this way
all along and I’ve just never been around to witness it. If Glorfindel stays
this way, he will drain all the life from me. “And I will be here for you
while that’s happening.”

“I don’t deserve a friend like you.” Glorfindel realized he was wallowing
in self-pity again and stopped himself. “Let’s stop talking about this. It’s
only putting me in a worse mood. Can we talk about something…normal?
Anything. Just to get my mind off…off of everything.” Or I could just
leave you alone so that you can get some sleep. I’m sure that that’s what
you’d prefer. But I really want to stay with you longer. I like to see you
like this. You look…vulnerable…somehow. “If it wouldn’t be too much
trouble.”

Erestor smiled; he didn’t like talking about this, either. “Well, I’m sure I
can think of something amusing to get your mind off of your troubles.”
After a few seconds of delay, he launched into an amusing story about an
incident, years ago, when he had dared Elrond, who was famed for his
inability to cook, to prepare dinner for the two of them. The ensuing
disaster was enough to bring tears to Glorfindel’s eyes, who had never
known about this incident, having been away on a trip when it occurred.

“Did that really happen?” asked Glorfindel, amazed that Erestor would do
something so malicious to Elrond and that Elrond would actually attempt
it. You did love Elrond, possibly as much as I did. I can tell. The way your
face lights up, the way your eyes light up, when you mention his name,
gives away everything. I don’t mind. He’s dead now, and as far as I know,
nothing ever came of your love for him.

Erestor nodded. “Yes. Taught me quite a lesson. I never again made him
cook anything again.” Erestor realized how tired he was just now. As
much as he would love to continue to entertain Glorfindel, he did need
some sleep if he was going to be able to run Imladris come tomorrow
morning. He just couldn’t figure out the right way to phrase his request so
it wouldn’t sound like he was kicking Glorfindel out.

Glorfindel seemed to get the hint, though, and stood up, pulling his hand
free. “I’ll leave you to your rest, Erestor. I can tell you’re tired.”

Erestor nodded. What I would like more than anything is for you to stay
here with me tonight. Even I am not foolhardy enough to ask that of you,
though. “Okay, then. I wish you sweet dreams.”

Glorfindel made it most of the way to the door before turning around. He
was tired of beating around the bush. It would eat at him until he knew
exactly how Erestor felt about him. And this was one sure way to find out.
Drawing on reserves of courage that he did not know he possessed, he
said, “I’m not sure that I want to go.”

Erestor, who had walked back over to his bed, frowned and asked, “What
do you mean?”

Glorfindel swallowed hard. “Please don’t hate me for saying this…but it
won’t leave me until I put it out in the open. Ever since Elrond died, it 
has
been…I said earlier that I am not in love with him any longer…you have
replaced him in my heart. Over the past few days, I have grown more and
more attracted to you…I understand if you don’t feel the same…”

“Are you saying that you wish to spend the night here?” asked Erestor,
bemused.

“If by that you’re assuming that we will have sex…then no. I don’t know
exactly how I feel about you…all I know is that I want to figure it out. I
know that this could be…a disgrace to my love for Elrond…but you loved
him as much as I did. I want to know if there’s anything between us that
exceeds the bonds of friendship.”

Erestor nodded. “Okay, then. Come to bed.” Erestor turned his back on
Glorfindel and got into bed, leaving it up to Glorfindel to make the final
decision.

Glorfindel was amazed that it had gone that well. He had expected Erestor
to say no. Only now he was stuck with deciding whether or not to go to
Erestor’s bed. Part of his heart told him that it would be a betrayal to
Elrond. So he almost just walked out of the room. But part of his heart
said that he couldn’t mourn Elrond forever, and that would not be what
Elrond wanted of him.

So he slipped his clothes off and walked to the strange bed. Erestor
immediately snuggled up to him, resting his head on Glorfindel’s
shoulder. Glorfindel put his arm around Erestor’s slender waist and closed
his eyes. For the first time since Elrond had died, Glorfindel felt nearly 
at
peace.















Chapter 8

Erestor woke up first. It wasn’t even light outside yet. He started to roll
over onto his side, but realized that he couldn’t, because there was a head
on his shoulder and an arm securely wrapped around his waist. At first a
little confused, he began to sit up. Then all the memories of the previous
night presented themselves and Erestor realized who he was in bed with.
A huge, almost idiotic, smile passed across his face. Knowing now that he
would never be able to get back to sleep, he settled down, staring at
Glorfindel, occasionally stroking the golden hair.

Slowly, dim rays broke through the window, illuminating the room.
Occasionally, they would catch on Glorfindel’s hair in just the right way,
and for an instant, the entire room lit up. It looked like it would be a
beautiful day.  As time went on, the room grew brighter and brighter, but
Glorfindel still did not wake.

Erestor was not about to wake him up. He knew that, like him, Glorfindel
was not sleeping well. Any night where a good and healthy sleep could be
derived was worth treasuring. As far as Erestor was concerned, Glorfindel
could spend all day in his bed. It mattered not a whit to him.

Eventually, though, Glorfindel stirred. He was a little confused, because
he wasn’t used to waking up next to someone else. The first thought that
entered his mind was that this had all been a bad dream and that he was
still in bed with Elrond. The thought was reinforced with a quick glance
up to see a dark-haired slender elf. As he awoke, though, his mind cleared.
This was not Elrond’s room. And that meant that this elf could not be
Elrond.

“Good morning, Glorfindel,” said Erestor.

“Do I have to get up yet?” mumbled Glorfindel, burying his face into
Erestor’s shoulder. He had never been a morning person, and had been
even less so since Elrond died. Every new morning meant one more day
that he had to deal with the fact that Elrond was no longer here. “Can’t I
stay here longer?”

Erestor chuckled. “You can, if you wish, but I must get up. There is work
that I must see to this morning.”

And I am keeping you from it. Glorfindel rolled away from Erestor, turning
completely away from him. “Okay, then.”

Erestor wondered what he had said wrong. “Glorfindel, what is it?” He put
a hand on Glorfindel’s side. But really, he wasn’t in the mood for more of
Glorfindel’s moodiness. Not first thing in the morning.

In a sudden moment of clarity, Glorfindel realized that Erestor really did
care about him, but was tired of Glorfindel’s moods. So he turned back
towards Erestor. “Nothing. What do we have to do today?”

Erestor collapsed back down onto the bed from his half-sitting position.
“There are so many things that to list them all would take the entire day.”
He wrapped his arm around Glorfindel’s shoulders. “Come to think of it, I
don’t want to get up, either.” He shook his head. “Too much work to do. It
will be the death of me. I don’t know how Elrond managed it all.”

Glorfindel rested his head on Erestor’s chest. He could hear Erestor’s heart
beating slowly. He felt so alive. “That’s why I’m here, Erestor. Surely the
two of us, intelligent elves, can manage to almost finish the work of one
brilliant elf.” The time had come, he knew, to stop being such a burden to
Erestor and to actually become a productive person again. He had to pull
himself together.

“Are you sure?” Erestor wanted nothing more than to hear Glorfindel say
something like that, but he wasn’t sure if Glorfindel was truly better
enough to be able to take on a heavy workload, or indeed, any workload at
all. “I can muddle on without you, you know…but I would like any help
you could give.”

The door burst open and a servant walked in. Erestor made no effort to
push Glorfindel off of him, and Glorfindel made similarly no effort to
move away from Erestor. Both saw the slight astonishment on the
servant’s face. Finally, the servant managed to find the words that he had
been sent here to say. “Erestor…the trade delegation is awaiting
you…should I…what should I tell them?”

Erestor didn’t want to laugh at this elf’s confusion. So he smiled and said,
“Tell them that I will be there shortly.” He even managed to contain the
laughter until the door closed.

“I guess you should get up, then,” said Glorfindel. What he wanted was to
spend all day in bed with this beautiful elf that he was sure was at least
mildly attracted to him. He began to move off of Erestor, but Erestor’s
surprisingly strong arm held him in place. “What are you doing?”

“I am now…we are the most important elves in Imladris. If we want to
keep someone waiting, we can. And I, for one, am now immensely
comfortable. Unless you have some burning desire to get up.”

No, no burning desire to get up. A slight burning desire for other things,
but that’s not important right now. “Erestor, they’ll be angry with you.”
He completely agreed with Erestor, though. This was a comfortable bed;
they were both still sleepy enough to not want to get up yet.

“Do you care? Because if you really want me to go, then I will. After all,
I’m sure that sitting through hours of a mind-numbing meeting will be
much more enjoyable than staying here in bed.” Erestor realized just how
sexual that sounded and winced slightly. Though he meant it with all his
heart, he didn’t want to intimidate Glorfindel any more than was strictly
necessary.

“I really do think you should go. I’m sure that we can set aside some time
later for spending here in your comfortable bed. But to earn that, you have
to sit through your mind-numbing meetings. Meanwhile, I will be in
Elrond’s office, seeing to all the correspondence that I’m sure has piled up
into mountains by now. We will see each other at the noon meal and then
we shall decide what to do with the rest of our day.” All of this, of 
course,
was absolutely the opposite of what Glorfindel actually wanted to do.

Erestor groaned. “Tell me you’re kidding.”

“Nope.” Glorfindel turned to get out of bed.

Erestor acted faster. He pinned Glorfindel down on the bed, his hands
pinioning Glorfindel’s wrists to his sides, and grinned at him. “I can think
of much better things to do.”

“As I said a few moments earlier, there is ample time to be spent in bed.
However, the trade delegation will only wait so long before they leave.
And you really don’t want that to happen.” Glorfindel’s heart was racing;
did this mean that Erestor wanted him as much as he wanted Erestor? He
sincerely hoped so. “So I think that you should get off me and get
dressed.”

Erestor sighed but did not move. “I am afraid that I will need some
assurance that I will actually have you in my bed later in order for me to
move now.” His stomach tightened; this was the moment of truth.

Glorfindel grinned; he knew exactly what Erestor was saying. Freeing one
of his hands from Erestor’s grip, he pulled Erestor’s head down and kissed
him lightly, searchingly. Erestor tasted so much different from Elrond.
Seeing that in all other ways they seemed so alike, this surprised
Glorfindel a little. Where Elrond tasted of cloves and cinnamon, Erestor
tasted like a multitude of things; among them were mint and honey. It was
an addictive kind of taste, something Glorfindel knew he would be coming
back for later.

The kiss lengthened and deepened. Glorfindel pulled Erestor fully down
on top of him and tangled his hands in the dark hair. Erestor, for his part,
managed to show a little self-restraint. He restrained himself from doing
anything more than just kissing Glorfindel and running his hands along
Glorfindel’s perfect chest. Anything more, he knew, would have to wait
for later.

Eventually, as all good things must, the kiss ended. Erestor smiled and
pressed a gentle, almost chaste kiss to Glorfindel’s forehead. “I think that
that is assurance enough,” he whispered into Glorfindel’s ear. Then his
tongue darted out and ran down the pointy ear. Glorfindel shuddered in
pleasure.

Lightning-fast, Glorfindel reversed their positions. “It had better be,” 
said
Glorfindel confidently, sitting up and looking at Erestor lying under him.
It was a sight that he knew he could get used to. Erestor looked absolutely
perfect to him, in his own way even better than Elrond. Erestor smiled
confidently up at him and raised a hand to caress Glorfindel’s cheek.
“Because that’s all you’re getting until I’m confident that you’ve got off
your lazy ass and done some work.” He grinned cheekily.

“Oh, you’ll pay for that later,” said Erestor. “Don’t worry about that.
Unfortunately, though, it does not appear that I can get any work done
now. You seem to be sitting on me. So unless you move, it appears that I
will be sitting here on my lazy ass all day.” He half-sat up and kissed
Glorfindel again, pulling Glorfindel down on top of him as he lay back
down. This kiss lasted as long as or longer than the first, and neither 
really
seemed like they wanted to get up at its conclusion.

Finally, though, Erestor pushed Glorfindel off of him and actually made it
out of bed. Scowling at the thought of actually having to go and work, he
pulled at Glorfindel’s arm. “Uh-uh, you have to get up, too. I seem to
recall you saying something about Elrond’s correspondence.”

Glorfindel groaned theatrically, but pulled himself out of bed. “The
tortures you put me through, Erestor.” Slowly, he began to pull on the
clothes he had deposited on the floor the previous night. Erestor, however,
disappeared into the bathroom so that he could at least give the appearance
of cleanliness and dignity. He emerged about twenty minutes later and
found Glorfindel lounging on the bed again, only this time he was fully
dressed.

“I thought you were going to work,” said Erestor, pulling his hair back and
restraining it with a small black clip. “In fact, I believe that that was 
part
of our agreement.”

“I was waiting for you.”

“How thoughtful of you. I suspect, however, it was your innate laziness
that you just didn’t want to go and work.” He walked over to the bed and
pulled Glorfindel up. “That is something that I am going to have to
remedy.”

They walked to the door hand in hand. Erestor opened it and they walked
out. They continued to walk through the hallways together, though they
were no longer holding hands. When it finally came to the turning where
they had to separate, Glorfindel turned to Erestor and kissed him briefly.
“I love you,” he murmured to Erestor.

Erestor smiled up at Glorfindel. His smile was so intense that it could have
lit an entire room. “I love you, too.”

Author’s Note: Wow! I actually finished a fic! Anyhow, would anyone be
interested in seeing a sequel? Prequel? Both? Neither? Should I just stop
writing altogether? All opinions are welcome.



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