Title: Love of my Life.
Author: Morgana. 
Author's Email: Morganalebeau@yahoo.com 
Web page: http://www.avalon.cobweb.nl
Main pairings; Elrond/Lindir, Erestor/Glorfindel and Elladan/Orophin. 
'Side' pairings; Glorfindel/OMC (Magolion) Elrohir/Magolion, 
Haldir/Legolas, Rumil/Mithrandir and Thranduil/surprise. 
Rating: NC-17. 
Summary: Like most couples who are together for some time, Glorfindel 
and Erestor are facing some commitment issues, which are made worse by 
miscommunication and the arrival of Erestor's not so nice brother 
Magolion. Problems follow. Taking a break from the relationship (and not 
by his choice) Erestor decides to visit Lothlorien to find some peace of 
mind there. Elladan accompanies him. But during their stay in Lothlorien 
disaster strikes; Erestor and Orophin are taken prisoner by Orcs. 
Glorfindel realizes the huge mistake he made in letting Erestor go. But can 
he still turn the tide and rescue his beloved from his terrible fate? A 
fellowship <eg> is formed and they are sent to rescue the poor chief 
advisor.
Disclaimer: Not mine, Tolkien’s. Hum, I guess Magolion is mine… And 
so is Remmen… 
Warning: mpreg, angst, graphic violence in later chapters, AU. I failed to 
get the times lines correct. The story wouldn’t work otherwise. 
Author’s Note: Beta read by Sulien. All remaining mistakes are mine. FB 
is always welcome, but flames get send to Sauron!

Love of My Life  
Love of my life you've hurt me  
You've broken my heart and now you leave me  
Love of my life can't you see  
Bring it back, bring it back  
Don't take it away from me  
Because you don't know  
What it means to me 
Love of my Life, don't leave me
You've taken my love, you now desert me
Love of my Life, can't you see
Bring it back, bring it back
Don't take it away from me
Because you don't know
What it means to me

You will remember 
When this is blown over
And everything's all by the way
When I grow older
I will be there at your side to remind you
How I still love you, I still love you
Back, hurry back
Please bring back home to me 
Because you don't know
What it means to me.
Love of my Live
Lyrics by Queen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Part 1


Erestor walked among the tall and ancient trees, which set this part of the 
forest apart from Elrond’s private gardens. He had come here to find some 
peace of mind, as he needed to sort out his thoughts. His relationship with 
Glorfindel could be called strained at best, and he could think of no reason 
for the rift between them or what he may have done to cause it. 
 
Placing the palms of his hands against a friendly oak tree, he leaned in 
closer, until his brow also rested against the tree’s trunk. Soothing energy 
seeped into his hands, traveling down his arms until it finally warmed and 
cocooned his entire body. “Thank you for this gift,” he whispered softly, 
grateful for the tree’s selfless act. It could probably feel his loneliness and 
melancholy. His long, dark hair tumbled forward, shielding his features, 
and hiding the first tears that were building in his eyes. Why were 
Glorfindel and he drifting apart? What had he done wrong? 
 
The air’s consistency changed, alerting him that someone was 
approaching. He released a deep sigh; he had hoped to find some peace 
here, but his restless mind was unable to unwind. 
 
“Erestor? My friend?” Lindir approached slowly, giving Erestor a chance 
to grow aware of his presence. “Why are you here all by yourself?” 
Erestor had always hated solitude and would always prefer having 
company to walking the woods by himself. “Is something wrong?” He 
came to a standstill behind Erestor and rested one hand on the dark-haired 
Elf’s shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. “I hope that you know that you 
can always talk to me.” He also felt the tree’s gift, the tranquil energy that 
now coursed through Erestor. 
 
Erestor composed himself, determinedly wiping away his tears and 
brushing wayward strands of hair back behind his ears. After drawing in a 
deep breath, he turned around to face his friend. “Lindir.” 
 
Erestor’s tone revealed much to Lindir, who promptly reacted by burying 
his friend in a tight hug. Rubbing Erestor’s back, Lindir said, “Talk to 
me.” Maintaining his hold on Erestor, he guided the raven-haired advisor 
over to a bench, where they sat down. “What is causing you such 
distress?” Erestor’s swimming eyes made him swallow hard. Making an 
educated guess he said, “Is it Glorfindel?”
 
Erestor whimpered softly. “You told me not to become his lover, but I 
ignored your advice.” Lindir and he had quickly become friends when 
they had first met in Lindon, preparing to accompany Elrond to Imladris. 
The minstrel and advisor had found they enjoyed each other’s company 
and the trust between them had deepened these last few millennia to the 
point where they confided unconditionally in each other. He had never 
achieved such trust with Glorfindel. “I should have listened to you back 
then.”
 
Lindir sighed deeply and used one hand to cup Erestor’s chin, forcing him 
to look at him. “Tell me what is wrong.” 
 
“Glorfindel and I have been lovers for a thousand years now, but…” 
Erestor briefly closed his eyes as his heart twitched with pain. “I think ‘tis 
over between us. He no longer desires me in that way.”
 
“What makes you think that?” Lindir tried to listen, instead of offering 
instant advice. When Erestor had first come to him with the news that 
Glorfindel wanted him as his lover a millennia ago, he had advised against 
accepting that offer, but Erestor hadn’t listened. Erestor had been in love 
– utterly and passionately in love – and the advisor had instantly accepted. 
Lindir however, had had doubts. He had been afraid that Glorfindel, a 
warrior who delighted in making conquests, would quickly tire of his lover 
and it seemed he had been right. For what was a thousand years to an 
immortal Elf? “What did he do this time? Or what did he fail to do?”
 
Erestor raised swimming eyes and met Lindir’s knowing stare. “He won’t 
touch me any more. When we go to sleep at night, he turns away from 
me.”
 
“Ai,” whispered Lindir, realizing how hurt Erestor really felt. “And this 
has been going on for how long?”
 
“A few months.” Erestor leaned back against Lindir, enjoying the close 
contact. “He is either away patrolling the borders or training with his 
guards. There are nights when he doesn’t come to bed at all and I wake up 
alone in the morning. His tone toward me is always civil, but clearly lacks 
affection and enthusiasm. He has tired of me. You were right.”
 
“I never wanted to be right,” mumbled Lindir, “I wanted the two of you to 
be happy.” Still rubbing Erestor’s back, he realized how heavily the 
advisor was leaning against him and he instinctively tightened his hold. 
 
“I should have known something was amiss when he did not want to 
officially marry me. The one time I mentioned binding ourselves, he 
pretended he hadn’t heard,” said Erestor in a saddened tone. “What did I 
do wrong? I don’t understand. I always tried so hard to please him.”
 
“Maybe you tried too hard and lost part of yourself?” suggested Lindir 
carefully. “I saw you change throughout the years. You changed your 
ways to fit in with his.”
 
“That is how a relationship works,” said Erestor, frowning. “’Tis about 
giving and taking.”
 
“But maybe you gave too much and took too little?” Lindir had mentioned 
this to Erestor before, but back then the other Elf had denied it. “You live 
for him. You try to read his every wish from his eyes. And yet you seldom 
ask – or get – something in return. Glorfindel is a warrior. He thinks and 
acts in ways different from ours. When you are fighting a battle you don’t 
have the time to consider consequences, advantages, or opponents. A 
warrior acts first and thinks later. With us it is the other way around. We 
think too much.”
 
Erestor pondered Lindir’s words, realizing there was some truth to them. 
Glorfindel and he were opposites in many ways and for them to remain a 
couple he had changed many of his ways. “Do you think that makes me 
less attractive in his eyes?” After all, he was no longer the same person 
Glorfindel had fallen in love with. 
 
“I don’t know about that,” said Lindir thoughtfully. “But you giving in so 
easily can have something to do with this loss of romance between the two 
of you.”
 
“His patrol should arrive before midnight; maybe I can talk to him then?” 
Erestor sought out Lindir’s eyes. “Maybe we can still work this out?”
 
“I hope so,” said Lindir honestly. He didn’t want to think of what would 
happen if the two Elves couldn’t work out their problems. Erestor was a 
kind and gentle soul and deserved someone who loved him. It would pain 
Lindir to see his friend alone again, for he knew that Erestor loved 
Glorfindel from the bottom of his heart. “Take small steps, Erestor, or you 
might chase him away.”
 
Erestor nodded once and then rested his head against Lindir’s shoulder. 
“And how about your beloved, my friend?”
 
Lindir nervously cleared his throat and blushed. After three millennia, he 
still managed to blush every time Erestor addressed this matter. “He is 
busy, as he always is. I relish the rare evenings when he calls for me to 
sing for him.”
 
“I still think you should probe Elrond’s feelings. Celebrian sailed for 
Valinor many centuries ago and you know how lonely he is. He might not 
let it show, but he is. The mere fact that he seeks out company – be it mine 
or yours – should tell you he doesn’t want to be alone.” 
 
“Erestor, we discussed this before. Elrond is far beyond my reach. I am a 
mere minstrel and he is the Lord of Imladris.” Lindir had resigned himself 
to loving Elrond from a distance many millennia ago. When he had first 
met Elrond in Lindon, it had been love at first sight -- for him. But Elrond 
had chosen Celebrian as his mate and she had given him three beautiful 
children, whom  Lindir loved as if they were his own. “I have learned to 
find my happiness in the evenings when we sit together and I sing for him, 
whilst he plays the harp. That is all I can ever hope for. And don’t you 
dare tell him!”
 
“I promised to keep quiet,” Erestor reminded Lindir, “And I always keep 
my word.” Their gazes locked and both read the longing and loneliness in 
the other’s eyes. “Wish we had fallen for each other. That would have 
made things much easier.” But there had never been any passion between 
them, just a deep sense of trust and belonging. They were as close as 
brothers.
 
“Erestor, you still have a chance to find out what is troubling Glorfindel 
and to work out your problems. Talk to him; make him open up.”
 
Erestor nodded, realizing he had more than Lindir would ever have; a 
lover… /Do I still have one? Or did I already lose him?/ 
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Erestor couldn’t sleep. For hours he had tossed and turned in bed and he 
was now wondering if Glorfindel would join him at all. He had seen 
today’s patrol return hours ago and he had hurried back to their rooms to 
wait for Glorfindel so he could properly welcome him home. But 
Glorfindel had apparently remained with his men, preferring their 
company to his. /What am I doing wrong?/ 
 
Pulling the blanket up to his shoulders, he pulled his knees toward his 
chest and wrapped his arms around them. His eyes – filled with immense 
sorrow – fastened on the full moon, whose silver rays illuminated their 
rooms. Well, strictly speaking these were Glorfindel’s rooms. He had 
moved into them when they had become a couple and he had quickly felt 
at home here. But now he was beginning to feel like an intruder, like he 
didn’t belong here. Maybe it was time to seek out his own rooms again? 
But he didn’t want to pack his belongings and leave; that was so final. 
Lindir was right; he had to find out what was causing them to drift apart 
and deal with it. 
 
Just when he had given up hope that Glorfindel would join him, 
movement near the doorway caught his attention. Peeking at the door, he 
saw Glorfindel enter soundlessly and then close the door behind him. His 
heart fluttered madly with love and desire at seeing the blond and he 
barely managed to force himself to remain in bed and wait for Glorfindel’s 
next move. 
 
The blond stripped and then slipped into bed, never speaking a single 
word.
 
Erestor’s heart missed a beat, seeing Glorfindel lying down with his back 
toward him. Hadn’t Glorfindel noticed that he was still awake? Or was the 
blond ignoring him on purpose? There was only one way to find out. 
Slowly, he inched closer, until their bodies finally made contact. Lying 
spooned behind Glorfindel, he draped one arm over the blond’s hips, 
gently caressing the silken skin. “I missed you.” His fingers moved 
through the golden tresses until they had uncovered part of the elegant 
nape of Glorfindel’s neck and Erestor gently pressed a kiss on the skin. “I 
am glad you are back.”
 
“Erestor… I am tired.” Glorfindel grumbled, displeased, and moved a bit 
away from Erestor, breaking their intimate contact. “We encountered Orcs 
today and it took us a long time to hunt them down. I would prefer to sleep 
now.”
 
Erestor closed his eyes at hearing the rejection. “I merely want to hold 
you.”
 
“Not this night. I need to sleep.”
 
Glorfindel had stopped moving away from him and Erestor realized why. 
The blond was already balancing on the side of the bed. Moving away 
further meant falling out of bed. Being rejected broke his heart and tears 
flowed from his unfocused eyes when he moved back to his side of the 
bed. Rolling onto his other side, they now lay back to back. Wrapping his 
arms around his waist, Erestor bowed his head and wept bitter tears. 
 
“Are you crying?” 
 
Erestor coughed nervously and quickly wiped away his tears. “No, not any 
more. You can go to sleep now. I won’t keep you awake any longer.”
 
“I do not want you to cry,” whispered Glorfindel in a fatigued tone, “But I 
cannot do this now. I am too tired.”
 
“I understand.” Erestor curled up in a fetal position, pulled the blanket up 
to his shoulders and decided he couldn’t take much more of this. Maybe it 
was time he moved back to his rooms and gave Glorfindel the privacy the 
Elda so obviously craved. Part of him hoped the blond would reach out 
now that Glorfindel knew he was hurting, but nothing happened. A few 
minutes later, the other Elf’s breathing deepened and steadied, telling him 
that Glorfindel had already fallen asleep. But there would be no sleep for 
him tonight, too bitter was his pain after having been rejected. 
 
/I cannot take this any longer either. ‘Tis time we end this charade. You no 
longer love me. If you did, you would ask me what was wrong instead of 
ignoring me and going to sleep./ Erestor’s heart wept sorrowful tears, 
realizing this was the last night he would spend in Glorfindel’s bed. 
Starting tomorrow, he would make his rooms in order and move back into 
them.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
It came as no surprise when Erestor found himself alone in bed the next 
morning. Glorfindel could be stealthy when necessary and had probably 
left long before sunrise. “I thought we were going to deal with this,” 
whispered Erestor, saddened. But how could he deal with this when 
Glorfindel wasn’t here? He had been left to sort this out alone. 
 
Like most mornings, he had woken up with an erection and it had been a 
while since Glorfindel had enjoyed finding him hard next to him. The last 
time they had been intimate had been months ago and Erestor’s body 
longed for the intimacy they had once shared. The blond’s scent was in the 
sheets and blankets, and it didn’t matter how much he tossed and turned, 
Glorfindel’s scent still invaded his nostrils, making him hard. Irregardless 
of how indifferent the Elda treated him, he still longed to feel Glorfindel’s 
hands on him. Like so many mornings in the recent past, he curled his 
fingers around his hard flesh and stroked his shaft. His body demanded 
release and if he didn’t give in now, it would continue to haunt him during 
the day.
 
Stroking slowly, he closed his eyes, imaging Glorfindel was still with him 
and that it was the blond’s hand bringing him to orgasm. Recalling all the 
gentle and soft touches the Elda used to bestow on his hard flesh, he 
quickly reached his climax, but when the cream dripped from the head, the 
ugly truth crashed in, tearing down the temporary fantasy he had built. 
 
He was alone. Glorfindel had left without a word, or even a note. What did 
that tell him? “The time has come to get over you.” But the truth was that 
he wasn’t ready yet to move on. He wanted to be with Glorfindel, hold 
him, cherish him, and make love to him. Even after a thousand years his 
heart still burst with love for the Balrog Slayer. “Lindir, how am I 
supposed to work this out when he clearly wants no part of it?” 
 
Erestor sighed, wrapped his arms around his waist and rocked slowly, 
letting the tears spill from his eyes.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Erestor ignored the fact that the servant had given him the oddest look 
when he had told him to clean his rooms so he could permanently move 
back into them. He was in a particularly black and brooding mood today, 
something which had been occurring more frequently since their 
relationship had begun to deteriorate. He tried his best to hide it, but it 
always showed. 
 
Upon finally joining Elrond in his study to assist the half-Elf with today’s 
work, his cheerful mask was back in place, at least he thought so, but one 
of Elrond’s looks told him that the Peredhel already knew something was 
troubling him. 
 
Elrond studied his chief advisor, easily looking behind the front Erestor so 
eagerly presented. He knew his friends were struggling with their 
relationship and until now, he had stayed out of it. But Erestor looked 
dreadful, and when Glorfindel had left this morning to train with the 
guards, the blond hadn’t looked any better either. Someone had to act 
upon this and it looked like it was up to him to take this first step. “Please 
sit down, Erestor. I have some freshly brewed tea here. Would you like a 
cup?” Had Erestor even eaten breakfast? Seeing Erestor nod, Elrond 
poured them both a cup and then handed one to his friend. 
 
Erestor seated himself opposite Elrond and tried hard to avoid the half-
Elf’s probing looks, but to no avail. Elrond knew him too well to be fooled 
by his exterior. “Thank you,” he said, accepting the herbal tea. Holding the 
cup between his hands, he relished the warmth the liquid radiated. He 
stared into the tea and even caught a reflection of his brooding eyes in the 
swirling water. 
 
“Erestor, you look like you need to talk,” began Elrond carefully, “Maybe 
I can provide a listening ear?” He wanted to help them. Erestor and 
Glorfindel were his best friends and when the two Elves had become a 
couple he had rejoiced for them. 
 
“Is it that obvious?” Erestor put the cup down with a sigh. “I don’t know 
what to do any more.” He tentatively sought out Elrond’s gray eyes. 
 
“Why don’t you tell me what it is that worries you? I can only help when I 
know what we are dealing with.” Elrond didn’t want to pressure Erestor, 
but he also knew his advisor often needed to be nudged in the right 
direction where talking about his feelings was concerned. 
 
Erestor shrugged his shoulders in surrender. “I am moving back to my old 
rooms today.” He caught the shock on Elrond’s face and quickly averted 
his eyes. “Things are not working out between Glorfindel and I.”
 
“I am sorry to hear that,” said Elrond honestly. “I don’t mean to pry, but… 
What happened? The two of you seemed happy.”
 
Erestor shrugged again, and this time he stared at the floor, unable to meet 
Elrond’s probing glance any longer. “He has lost interest in me.”
 
Surprised, Elrond raised an eyebrow. “What?” He vividly remembered 
finding them making love in his wine cellar a few months ago. “I don’t 
understand.”
 
“Neither do I. He no longer wants to touch me.” Wringing his hands, he 
finally reestablished eye contact with the half-Elf. “Last night I waited 
hours for him, but when he finally did join me, he told me he needed to 
sleep. I merely wanted a kiss and to hold him. He nearly fell out of bed, 
trying to move away from me.”
 
Elrond’s eyes widened. Erestor was intelligent and cunning and his looks 
perfectly matched his character. The Noldorin Elf was extremely 
handsome and some Elves even called the dark-haired advisor a sensual 
beauty, which he was – even in Elrond’s opinion. Elrond seriously 
couldn’t imagine Glorfindel turning him down. Leaning back in his chair, 
Elrond closely studied the other Elf. Erestor’s eyes were as dark as the 
night, but radiated warmth and affection. The long, dark hair was seldom 
braided as its owner preferred it loose and Elrond had to admit the slightly 
wild look did suit the advisor best. His features were delicately formed, 
yet a firm jaw line gave Erestor a slightly exotic look, and the full, red lips 
just demanded to be kissed. The fact that the advisor preferred to wear 
black robes only served to enhance the handsome features. /How can 
Glorfindel possibly reject him?/
 
He knew for certain that several Elves belonging to his household had 
been in love with Erestor at one point. But Erestor had lost his heart to 
Glorfindel the moment the blond had joined their household and there had 
never been another for the advisor. Erestor only loved Glorfindel -- loved 
him from the bottom of his heart. Glorfindel knew how much Erestor 
loved him – didn’t he? The blond’s behavior surprised Elrond. “Did you 
already discuss this with him?”
 
“I have tried, but it is hard to talk to someone who isn’t there or doing his 
best to push you away. I am not sure talking will work at this stage.” 
Erestor sighed, distressed. “Maybe it would be best for us to go separate 
paths.”
 
“But you still love him.”
 
“I will always love him,” said Erestor passionately, staring into Elrond’s 
eyes. “He is the other half of my soul. He is the only one who ever made 
me feel complete.”
 
“And you are going to give up on him this easily?” asked Elrond, 
bewildered.
 
“I am not the one who gave up on us,” pointed out Erestor. “I have tried to 
talk to him, to reestablish some intimate contact between the two of us, but 
he continues to turn me away. There is only so much rejection I can take 
and this has been going on for months now.” Tears were building in his 
eyes, but he didn’t want to cry in front of Elrond and he forced them back, 
determined to hold on to his dignity. 
 
Sighing, Elrond considered his options, as it was obvious his friends were 
unable to work this out themselves. “Would you like for me to talk to 
Glorfindel and find out where he stands in this matter?”
 
“I don’t want to involve you in our problems,” whispered Erestor, a tad 
surprised that Elrond was making this offer. 
 
“The two of you are very dear to me and I would like to try,” said Elrond, 
though he was severely worried, hearing that the two of them had stopped 
talking. Once communication between lovers stopped it usually indicated 
far more serious problems. “Maybe at the bottom of it is some stupid 
misunderstanding the two of you never solved?”
 
Erestor shook his head. “I don’t think 'tis that easy. But you are welcome 
to try.” Maybe Elrond would succeed where he had failed, but he 
somehow doubted it.

Beta read by Sulien.
All remaining mistakes are mine.

Love of my Life 
Part 2


Erestor placed the last items in their old places. He had collected his 
personal belongings from Glorfindel’s rooms after lunch, and when he had 
closed the door behind him, it had felt like saying goodbye to their 
relationship. Part of him was deadly worried that the blond would 
welcome the fact that he had moved out and would do little or nothing to 
get him back. If that really was the case, it would prove to him that he had 
made the right decision to move out. He couldn’t be with someone who 
didn’t want him. /Please let him come for me. Oh, by the Grace of the 
Valar, let him realize he still wants me and thus confirm our love./
 
A knock on the door caught his attention and he quickly walked over to 
the doorway, wondering who it was. Opening the door, he froze, staring 
into an awfully familiar, yet unwanted face. “Magolion, what are you 
doing here?” Displeased, he found that his voice shook with emotion, 
easily giving away the emotional turmoil he was suddenly in, being 
confronted by someone he had thought belonged to his past and would 
never haunt the present again. He should have known better!
 
Magolion shoved the door open and confidently strode into the room. “Ai, 
what a warm way to greet your long lost brother!” Grinning like a 
predatory cat, he registered the shock and dismay on Erestor’s face. “Dear 
brother, I decided to pay you a visit to see how you fare. It has been too 
long since we talked last.” After looking about, he sat down and made 
himself comfortable. He thoroughly enjoyed seeing the shock on his 
younger brother’s face. “Come on, Erestor, welcome me to Imladris!”
 
Erestor stared at his older brother in obvious shock. Magolion still looked 
the same as he had when they had parted millennia ago. The long, raven 
hair easily reached the Elf’s narrow hips and the dark green eyes 
simmered with evil intentions. Even here, Magolion was armed, carrying 
his sword and long hunting knives. “I want you out!” Erestor didn’t care 
that the servant who was passing by in the corridor could hear him. “I 
don’t want you here and you are most certainly not welcome!” He hissed 
the words in anger, raised an arm and pointed at the doorway. “Out, now!” 
He could barely tolerate his sibling’s presence, which filled him with old 
anger and never dealt with pain. Magolion had hurt him too many times 
and too deeply for him to welcome him back into his life now. He just 
wanted the menace gone.
 
Magolion teasingly slowly made his way to the doorway after rising from 
the chair, grinning, now that he had managed to get under Erestor’s skin 
once more. There was no brotherly love between them, just hate. “As you 
wish, brother mine, but you had better accept that I am here to stay. My 
quarters are located in the guest wing in case you start to miss my 
charming presence and want to visit with me.” Leaning in closer, he 
pressed a poisonous kiss on his younger brother’s brow. 
 
His brow burned at the unwanted contact and Erestor jerked away from his 
older brother in horror. “Don’t you dare touch me!” He wiped his brow 
furiously with the fabric of his sleeve and stared at him as if he was 
dealing with Sauron himself. “Get out!”
 
Laughing softly, Magolion obliged his shaken brother and stepped into the 
corridor. Looking over his shoulder, he smiled and said, “Ah, dear brother, 
I will make your life miserable from now on.”
 
Eyes narrowed, Erestor slammed the door shut in his brother’s face. 
Swaying on his feet, he managed to cross the distance to his bed and he 
collapsed onto it, shaking like a leaf. Why now? Why did his nemesis 
have to seek him out now? /Glorfindel!/ Oh, by the Valar, once his brother 
found out he loved the Balrog Slayer, Magolion would go after Glorfindel 
in order to seduce him. “I will lose my beloved anyway. /Oh, Glorfindel, 
why? I do love you!/ Staring at the floor, he wondered how he could 
ensure his brother’s quick departure. He couldn’t allow Magolion to 
remain in Imladris, where his brother would doubtlessly do much damage. 
/I have to protect the ones I love, but how?/ He had never managed to 
outsmart his brother before.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
“Glorfindel? Can we talk?” Elrond entered his Captain’s office, already 
trying to get a first impression of the mood the blond was in. 
 
“Elrond?” Glorfindel frowned, wondering what his friend was doing here. 
They weren’t scheduled to meet for another hour, when the latest reports 
on Orc activity were due. “What brings you here, my friend?” He leaned 
back in his chair and studied the half-Elf in turn, finding the gray eyes 
worried, confirming his suspicion that Elrond was here for a reason. 
 
“I noticed how depressed Erestor looked this morning and wondered if 
you know what is burdening him.” Elrond saw the expression in 
Glorfindel’s eyes shift from open to guarded. 
 
“Erestor? I have barely spoken to him these last few days. I honestly do 
not know what is on his mind,” said Glorfindel honestly, but the subject 
was making him slightly nervous. “He looked depressed, you say?” He 
hated to admit it, but it had been a while since he had paid Erestor any 
attention. 
 
Elrond was worried at the lack of real response on Glorfindel’s part and 
decided on a more direct approach. “He mentioned moving back to his old 
rooms.”
 
“He did?” Glorfindel’s eyes narrowed, briefly showing panic, but then he 
shrugged his shoulders. “Well, if he feels he has to do that then I won’t 
stop him.”
 
Elrond shook his head in disbelief. “Glorfindel! Your lover is going to 
move out of your rooms and that is all you can say? Erestor is only one 
step away from moving out of your life as well! I thought you loved him!”
 
Glorfindel briefly closed his eyes and then released a deep sigh. “I thought 
I loved him too, but I am not sure any more.”
 
Elrond rose from his chair, placed his hands palm down on the desk, and 
glared at him. “Glorfindel! Start making sense!”
 
“Elrond, calm down.” Soothingly, Glorfindel raised his hands, hoping to 
placate the frustrated half-Elf. “We will talk, if that is what you want.”
 
Elrond gathered his robes close and sat down again, glaring at the blond 
from beneath an arched eyebrow. “Tell me your side of the story, but you 
had better have one hell of an excuse to treat Erestor as you have.”
 
For the first time during this conversation, Glorfindel had the grace to look 
ashamed. “I don’t know how to explain it, but… my feelings for him… 
they are gone.” He was relieved when Elrond merely nodded instead of 
losing his temper again. “I don’t know what to talk about when we are 
together and although I once craved his touch, he now annoys me when he 
wants to be intimate with me.” Another resigned shrug followed. “He is 
still beautiful, Elrond, but… Something is missing.”
 
Elrond nodded; this sounded very familiar to him. “During my marriage 
with Celebrian we had moments like these, but in our case our children 
pulled us through.”
 
Glorfindel finally met Elrond’s gaze head on. “Erestor and I have nothing 
in common. He loves to read and study. Or to walk in the gardens and to 
watch the stars all night long. I am a warrior, Elrond, to me these things 
are hardly worthy of my time.”
 
“And it took you one thousand years to realize this?” Elrond frowned.
 
“I was in love…” offered Glorfindel in explanation, “But lately I only see 
the differences between us.”
 
“Do you no longer love him then?” Elrond studied Glorfindel carefully. It 
was possible that the blond had fallen out of love, but somehow he didn’t 
really believe that. Glorfindel shrugged again and the movement began to 
irritate him. 
 
“I still have some feelings for him, but they aren’t strong or deep enough 
for us to remain lovers.”
 
“Lovers,” said Elrond thoughtfully, “I always wondered why you never 
proposed to him. It isn’t natural for us to live without some form of true 
commitment. Marriage would have created a much stronger bond between 
the two of you. Did you never consider binding yourselves?” 
 
Glorfindel decided to be completely honest with Elrond. “Erestor 
mentioned it when we were together for two hundred years, but I wasn’t 
ready to take that step. He never brought it up again.”
 
Elrond was slowly beginning to understand the rejections Erestor had 
suffered throughout the centuries. “And how did he react to that?”
 
“He never mentioned it again. I already told you that.” Puzzled, Glorfindel 
looked at the half-Elf, not really understanding why Elrond was repeating 
his questions.
 
“No, how did he react to the rejection? How did he feel? Did you explain 
to him why you felt you weren’t ready to commit to him?” Why had he 
never noticed the lack of ability to address his feelings on Glorfindel’s 
part? “You never discussed any of this?”
 
Glorfindel shifted uncomfortably on his chair. “In case you hadn’t noticed 
yet, Elrond, I am not much of a talker.” Yes, he could fool around, play 
the clown and entertain them, but he had never learned how to really open 
up to anyone. He knew he had caused the majority of the problems they 
were having, practically chasing Erestor away, but he didn’t know how to 
change his ways. “I know I am to blame for our problems, but…” 
 
Elrond growled softly when the blond shrugged again. “I cannot believe 
you are letting him go that easily! You should fight for him!”
 
“You just told me that Erestor is moving back to his old rooms. That tells 
me he has already made his decision. Why talk then?”
 
Elrond’s frustration mounted and he stared at Glorfindel in disbelief. “He 
is moving out because you are neglecting his needs!”
 
“How can I know what his needs are when he doesn’t tell me about them? 
I cannot read his mind,” said Glorfindel slightly defensively. 
 
Elrond realized that his friends’ problems were much more serious than he 
had originally thought and he needed to evaluate everything he had 
learned before deciding on his next step. He had hoped that his visit would 
solve many of their problems, but this matter would take careful 
consideration and planning. Rising from his chair, he searched 
Glorfindel’s eyes. “If you aren’t willing to make this work you *will* lose 
him. Is that what you want?”
 
Glorfindel looked into Elrond’s gray eyes and said calmly, “Erestor 
already made his decision. What is there left to fight for?”
 
Annoyed, Elrond slammed his fist onto the desk, making Glorfindel jump 
back in his chair. “How can you say that? Erestor loves you!”
 
“But the question is; do I still love Erestor?”
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Lindir quickly learned that Erestor had moved out of Glorfindel’s rooms 
and hurried to his friend’s quarters in case the advisor needed his support. 
When he knocked on the door he was panting slightly because he had run 
here and when the soft ‘enter’ finally came, he practically tumbled inside. 
“Erestor!” Seeing the dark-haired Elf standing near the window and 
looking out over the courtyard with barely concealed tears in his eyes 
made Lindir rush forward and bury his friend in a hug. “I learned you had 
moved back in here.”
 
Erestor briefly rested his head on his friend’s shoulder, enjoying the close 
contact, but in the back of his head he wished it was Glorfindel who had 
hurried here to comfort him. Why was Glorfindel still ignoring him? Did 
he mean that little to the blond? For how long had he been fooling 
himself? “I tried to talk to him,” said Erestor eventually, raising his eyes to 
meet Lindir’s. “But he said he was too tired and went to sleep. When I 
woke up in the morning, he was already gone. I think it is very clear that 
he is no longer interested in having a relationship with me.” 
 
Rubbing his friend’s back soothingly, Lindir felt lost for words. “You 
cannot be certain about that until you really talk to him.”
 
“And when do I do that? Maybe he will notice me when I join him on a 
patrol and am captured by Orcs?” Erestor was at a loss; he simply didn’t 
know what to do. “Just hold me?”
 
Lindir nodded, tucked Erestor’s head beneath his chin and held him tight, 
rocking his friend ever so slightly. “The two of you need to talk.”
 
“Uhm, Lindir? Can I have a moment alone with Erestor?” Glorfindel stood 
in the doorway, watching them. When Lindir had hurried inside, the 
white-haired Elf had forgotten to close the door behind him, and he had 
found them locked in a tight embrace, which had caused a stinging ache in 
his heart. He knew that Erestor had always been loyal and faithful, and 
that the advisor and minstrel were merely friends, so he didn’t feel 
threatened in the least, knowing there was no physical attraction between 
them. In a way that saddened him, for Erestor did deserve a lover in his 
life, and Lindir would have been perfect for the advisor. They were both 
hopelessly romantic souls. 
 
Lindir glared at Glorfindel for interrupting their conversation, but he also 
knew Erestor and the Elda had to talk. Giving Erestor a last reassuring 
look, he said, “I will be back later.” When he turned, he continued to 
glower at Glorfindel, whom he held solely responsible for his friend’s 
misery. This time he closed the door behind him. 
 
Erestor -- suddenly facing Glorfindel -- quickly wiped away his tears and 
tried to compose himself. He did feel a bit more confident now that he was 
back in his own rooms, knowing he could tell Glorfindel to leave in case 
an argument broke out. “What do you want, Glorfindel?” He buried his 
hands in his sleeves, wishing Glorfindel would say something – do 
something – but the blond was merely staring at him with a sad look in his 
eyes.
 
“Elrond told me we needed to talk.” Seeing Erestor’s reaction to those 
words, he knew he had said the wrong thing. Erestor’s eyes were 
beginning to fill with tears again. 
 
“You are only here because Elrond told you so?” So much for Glorfindel 
hurrying over here out of his own accord! 
 
“Yes, I am.” Glorfindel nervously shuffled his feet, looking about and 
realizing Erestor had already moved his belongings back. “It seems to me 
you already made your decision so I don’t really know what we are 
supposed to talk about.”
 
Erestor’s heart began to break, hearing those words. “You don’t know 
why we need to talk?”
 
“Erestor, you moved out! That makes it pretty clear on where you stand in 
this and I am not going to force you to come back to me when you clearly 
want to be here!” Glorfindel shook his head in frustration. “I know I 
haven’t been an attentive lover and I don’t blame you for leaving me. I 
would probably have done the same thing if our roles had been reversed. I 
think it is a good thing that you are looking out for yourself and if you feel 
the need to be here – by yourself – I accept that.”
 
“You *accept* that,” said Erestor in a listless tone, his hopes being 
crushed at hearing Glorfindel’s damning words.
 
Acting instinctively, Glorfindel took a step forward and placed his right 
hand on his former lover’s shoulder. He waited until their gazes had met 
and then said, “I know what you want me to say. You want to hear that I 
love you, but I cannot say those words, not anymore. The truth is that I 
don’t know if I still love you in that way. I still have some feelings for 
you, but… it wouldn’t be fair to keep you in the dark whilst I try to figure 
out what I want, what I need. I would rather set you free, lirimaer.”
 
“Don’t call me that… Not any more!” Erestor defiantly stared at 
Glorfindel. He was searching for the right words to convey what he was 
feeling, but it was hard. The love of his life was standing in front of him, 
saying things he really didn’t want to hear. “But I still love you… and I 
want to be with you. Tell me what I can do to help you make up your 
mind. I will do whatever is necessary.”
 
But Glorfindel shook his head. “I cannot let you do that. Erestor, you have 
to put yourself first and by moving back in here you are making it very 
clear to me that you need your personal space back. I think I need mine 
back as well. Maybe it would be best if we didn’t see each other for some 
time.”
 
Erestor desperately searched for the right words to express his terror and 
only a human expression came to mind. “You are dumping me?” His eyes 
widened with horrified realization. “But I only moved out because…” 
Glorfindel silenced him by placing a finger across his lips and lost, he 
stared into the other’s azure eyes. 
 
“You moved out because you felt you had to and I don’t blame you for 
doing so.” Glorfindel gave Erestor a thoughtful look. “But never forget 
that it was you who moved out, Erestor. I didn’t end this relationship. You 
did.”
 
Erestor shook off Glorfindel’s hand and took a step a way from the blond. 
“I wanted to talk! I wanted to sort out our problems. ‘Tis you who chooses 
the easy way out!” His dark hair danced wildly against his back when he 
walked toward the door, opening it. “If you no longer want to be with me, 
say so!”
 
“I don’t have to, lirimaer. You already did that for me.” Feeling strangely 
defeated – though he had achieved what he had set out to do – he left, and 
practically ran into Lindir, who had been waiting in the corridor. 
Glorfindel averted his eyes, seeing the fury in Lindir’s. What did they 
want from him? He had ended their relationship because that was what 
Erestor wanted. Why else would his former lover move out? “Be there for 
him… Please.” After mumbling those words and seeing Lindir’s surprised 
expression, he quickly left the corridor.
 
Lindir stared after the blond in shock. He had been ready to tell Glorfindel 
what a fool he was to let Erestor slip away, but the Elda’s soft plea had 
kept the words from leaving his lips. That moment he had realized that 
Glorfindel still had feelings for Erestor, but for some reason the Elda 
refused to admit to having them. Glorfindel needed time. Hearing Erestor 
sob softly, Lindir quickly hurried back to his friend, reestablishing his 
former hold on the raven-haired Elf. “I am sorry, but I heard every word 
you exchanged!”
 
Erestor raised swimming eyes and returned Lindir’s embrace with fierce 
desperation. “Why? Why can't he tell me he loves me? That he wants me 
in his life? That he wants me to be his lover? I never moved out because I 
wanted to end our relationship!” Glorfindel utterly confused him.
 
Lindir steered the distraught Elf to the bed where they sat down. Rocking 
Erestor, he whispered, “Glorfindel already made up his mind as to why 
you did this.”
 
“I didn’t even get a chance to explain!” Erestor sobbed in Lindir’s arms, 
wishing it was Glorfindel who was holding him. “I wanted to get his 
attention! I wanted him to realize that something was wrong!”
 
Lindir sighed deeply, at a loss for words. Instead he continued to rock his 
friend. “I will stay as long as you need me.”
 
“Thank you, Lindir,” mumbled Erestor, upset. “I need someone close, but 
I just wish it were Glorfindel who was comforting me and not you! Ai, I 
am sorry I said that… Lindir, I…” 
 
“Hush now and stop talking. Let me hold you whilst you cry and once you 
calm down we will sort out this mess. But for now you need to let go and 
admit your pain.” The sobs grew harder and Lindir held on tight, hoping 
he would be able to support Erestor throughout this emotional storm.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Glorfindel slowly entered Elrond’s study and cleared his throat to 
announce his presence. He felt guilty for the way he had treated Erestor, 
but he really thought this was for the best. Erestor obviously wanted their 
relationship to end and he had decided to break it off before the advisor 
could. In the end, no one stayed with him. His family had died when 
Gondolin fell and he had also lost his lover in that attack. They all left 
him. Ultimately, in the end, he was always alone. So why postpone the 
inevitable? At least this way Erestor still had a chance to find happiness 
with someone else. “Am I interrupting?”
 
“No, you aren’t,” said Elrond, surprised to see Glorfindel at such a late 
hour. He had been about to retire for the night when the blond had entered. 
Watching Glorfindel closely, he saw distress and loneliness in the 
expressive sapphire eyes. “I gather you talked to Erestor?” He couldn’t 
shake the feeling that something was wrong – very wrong!
 
“Yes, we talked. I set him free, Elrond. There is no use in hanging on to 
something we once had.” Glorfindel, who had seated himself near the fire, 
was startled when Elrond suddenly rose from behind his desk and stalked 
toward him. “What?”
 
“What did you do?” Elrond glared at his friend, wondering if Glorfindel 
was still sane. 
 

“I set him free. I told him it was best we went separate ways. That is what 
he wants, isn’t it? That is why he moved out in the first place.”
 
“You stupid oaf!” Elrond had had it with Glorfindel. “I told you to talk to 
him! Not simply assume you know what he wants!” Elrond shook his head 
in frustration. “You need to talk to him! Ask him what he feels, and what 
he wants!”
 
“He wanted out, Elrond.” Glorfindel averted his eyes, and stared at the fire 
instead. Nervously, he began fumbling with the fabric of his sleeve. “And 
it is for the best. For him and for me. I don’t know what I want and Erestor 
shouldn't have to pay the price for my indecision.”
 
“He already has,” said Elrond, sighing. He sat down on the chair to 
Glorfindel’s right, still shaking his head in dismay. “Glorfindel, what do I 
do with you?” 
 
“I always knew he would leave me, you know? Everyone leaves me in the 
end.” Glorfindel didn’t know why he had said that, as he hadn’t wanted to 
disclose that information to his friend. Surprised that Elrond remained 
quiet, he added, “I lost everyone I loved when Gondolin fell. I also lost 
myself. When I was returned to Arda… I was surrounded by strangers and 
I felt utterly alone. Then I found a home and a family here, with you.”
 
Elrond listened carefully, trying to understand. 
 
“And then Erestor professed he loved me. Allowing him to love me 
frightened me immensely, but I still took that step. But in the back of my 
head there was this voice telling me it wouldn’t last. That he would leave 
me, like all the others had.” Glorfindel plucked at his sleeve. “I was happy 
for a while, during the first few centuries, but then the realization set in 
that it wouldn’t last.”
 
“And in order to prove to yourself that you were right you drove him 
away. Ai, Glorfindel, why did you not come to me instead? We could have 
talked about this.” Elrond’s heart softened, finally understanding why 
Glorfindel was acting this oddly. “But it may not be too late. Go to Erestor 
and tell him what you just told me and he might take you back. He loves 
you.” But to Elrond’s dismay, Glorfindel shook his head. “What? You 
aren’t going to talk to him?”
 
“No, I am not. I do think this is for the best.” Glorfindel nodded once. “I 
don’t want to give him the chance to leave me. I would rather leave him.”
 
Elrond was losing his patience. “Glorfindel, you cannot be serious!” 
 
Glorfindel’s eyes misted over with tears. “I do love him, Elrond. Deep 
down I love him, but I cannot be with him. He left me. He moved out of 
my rooms and left me. I cannot make myself that vulnerable ever again.” 
 
Elrond simply couldn’t understand his friend’s reasoning. “Then what do 
you want? To remain alone for the rest of your life?”
 
“If need be, but I can lose myself in temporary flings, as long as I don’t 
love these Elves.” 
 
“You are setting yourself up for a life of loneliness,” whispered Elrond 
saddened. “Please reconsider.”
 
Glorfindel slowly rose from his chair, his shoulders slumping, as if he was 
carrying the weight of Arda on them. “You can find me in my rooms, if 
you need me.”
 
“Your empty rooms,” pointed Elrond out to the blond, still hoping 
Glorfindel would reconsider and go to Erestor’s rooms instead.
 
“I know that!” growled Glorfindel in frustration. “But it is for the best.”
 
Elrond watched him leave the study. Glorfindel’s head had slumped 
forward in defeat. “Just keep telling yourself that, Glorfindel, but time will 
teach you how wrong you are.” After rising from his chair, Elrond decided 
a visit with Erestor was in order. He reckoned his friend needed all the 
support he could get.

Beta read by Sulien, thanks!
All remaining mistakes are mine.

Love of my Life
Part 3 


“Lindir? Thank you for staying.” Erestor sighed deeply, relishing his 
friend’s presence. He had taken a bath and had then slipped into a 
nightshirt. Lindir had tucked him in like he was a mere baby and he felt 
thankful for his friend’s care. Lindir was sitting on the bed, his back 
resting against the headboard and long, agile fingers played with strands of 
his raven hair. “I wouldn’t know what to do without you.” He rested his 
head on Lindir’s lap, and closed his eyes, surrendering to the sweet 
sensation of fingers combing through his hair. 
 
“You are most welcome, my dear friend,” said Lindir softly. Anguish was 
written all over Erestor’s features and he suffered along with his friend. 
“You shouldn’t be alone right now.”
 
“What do you think that Glorfindel is doing?” Erestor’s pleading eyes met 
Lindir’s. “He is all I can think of.”
 
Lindir moistened his lips and carefully considered his answer. “Erestor?”
 
“Yes?” Erestor closed his eyes again and rubbed his cheek against the 
fabric of Lindir’s robes. This was what he needed; attention, a listening 
ear, understanding and close physical contact. Things, which he had been 
denied for months. 
 
“What are you feeling right now?” 
 
Erestor frowned, but his eyes didn’t open. “What am *I* feeling?”
 
“Yes, you. Don’t focus on Glorfindel. Focus on yourself.” 
 
Erestor considered the question. “I don’t know what I am feeling. Right 
now I feel… safe, but that is because you are here. There is a gaping hole 
in my heart, but… I don’t want to talk about this.”
 
Lindir understood and backed down; content now that Erestor had tried to 
label his feelings. “Don’t seek him out tomorrow, Erestor. Try to stay 
away from him. You need some distance.”
 
Erestor swallowed hard, as tears began to form in his eyes again. “I don’t 
know how to live without him.”
 
“Then you have to remember what your life was like before the two of you 
became lovers. I recall you were more independent back then, stronger.” 
Lindir had wanted to continue, but a firm knock on the door stopped him 
short. He prayed to the Valar that it wasn’t Glorfindel. 
 
“Erestor? May I enter?” 
 
Lindir’s heartbeat involuntarily quickened, hearing Elrond’s voice. Most 
of the time he managed to hide his love for the half-Elf, but he was always 
afraid he would slip one day. Feeling Erestor nod against him, he called 
out, “My Lord, please enter.”
 
Elrond, who had recognized Lindir’s voice, stepped inside, a bit surprised 
to find the minstrel here. But when he saw them together, he smiled. 
Erestor was cocooned in a soft blanket, his head resting in Lindir’s lap, 
whilst the white-haired Elf was soothingly stroking the dark mane. It 
seemed Erestor had already found someone to sit with him and comfort 
him. “Lindir, Erestor,” he said, acknowledging them. Seeing Erestor’s red-
rimmed eyes, he realized the advisor had cried for quite some time. 
 
Sensing Lindir’s nervousness, Erestor took charge. “Please seat yourself, 
Elrond.” He still hoped that Lindir would one day find the courage to tell 
the half-Elf he loved him, and in the meantime he would do his best to 
help them build a friendship. “I know why you are here.”
 
“I came here to comfort you,” said Elrond, seating himself on the side of 
the bed, and exchanging a pleased look with Lindir. “But it seems you 
already have a good friend at your side.” He had seen their friendship 
deepen over the millennia and had often felt envious of Erestor, for Lindir 
was beautiful and had enchanted his heart a long time ago. After Celebrían 
had left, his thoughts had regularly turned to Lindir, but he reckoned he 
didn’t stand a chance with the handsome, younger Elf, who had never 
shown any indication that he was interested in males. 
 
“Yes, Lindir is a very good friend… the best.” Erestor managed a weak 
smile. “Did Glorfindel come running to you?”
 
Elrond sighed, distressed. “Glorfindel is severely… confused, let us call it 
that. I don’t know how else to phrase it. He did mention some things that 
greatly disturbed me and I will try to work with him on those matters. But 
for now I would advise you to concentrate on yourself. Let Glorfindel deal 
with his issues first.”
 
“So this is how it ends,” whispered Erestor, saddened. He found comfort 
in the fact that Lindir was close and that Elrond was here to offer him 
emotional support. “What do I do now?”
 
“You need to concentrate on your own needs, Erestor,” said Elrond in a 
kind tone. “You cannot help Glorfindel with this. This is something he has 
to sort out himself.”
 
Erestor wrapped his fingers around Lindir’s knee, making sure his friend 
couldn’t leave. “I will try to do that, but…” Magolion came to mind and 
he knew he had to warn them – Lindir in particular. Looking up at Lindir, 
he said, “My brother arrived in Imladris today. Magolion is here.”
 
Lindir turned deathly pale. “Magolion is here?” By the Grace of the Valar, 
this was bad news!
 
“I didn’t know you had a brother,” said Elrond thoughtfully. 
 
Erestor met Elrond’s curious gaze. “I don’t look upon him as my brother 
and you would do well to make sure one of the guards keeps an eye on 
him at all times.”
 
“You don’t trust him?” And why was Lindir trembling all of a sudden? 
Worried, Elrond studied the minstrel. Lindir’s lips had become a thin line 
and all blood seemed to have left his face, leaving him a deadly shade of 
white. 
 
“I don’t trust him.” Erestor pushed himself upright, leaning heavily against 
Lindir, wondering what kind of picture they presented to Elrond. Maybe 
he shouldn’t display his affection for Lindir that openly. Elrond might get 
the wrong idea. But suddenly Lindir’s arm enfolded him and he rested his 
head on his friend’s shoulder. “*WE don’t trust Magolion for a good 
reason.”
 
Now Elrond’s curiosity was truly piqued. “WE?”
 
Erestor didn’t want to address this now, but Elrond should know the truth 
about his brother. “Magolion and I are very different. There never was any 
brotherly affection between us. Whatever I had, he wanted. At first I 
didn’t understand why he stole potential mates away from me, but later I 
realized that he just wanted to hurt me.”
 
Lindir, feeling he should tell the next part, took over. “Erestor and I first 
met in Lindon when we were preparing to travel to Imladris with you. 
Magolion was there as well. When he saw Erestor and me together, he 
assumed we were lovers. We never were. Erestor and I are friends, maybe 
as close as brothers, but there never was any passion between us. But 
Magolion didn’t understand that and he decided to steal me away from 
Erestor. When I first met Magolion he was charming and attentive. At the 
time, I didn’t know he was Erestor’s brother and I agreed to let him court 
me.” Lindir’s voice suddenly hitched, making it impossible for him to 
continue. His eyes grew foggy with tears and memories.
 
“Magolion seduced Lindir,” said Erestor eventually when Lindir was 
unable to continue. His hand sought out Lindir’s, squeezing reassuringly. 
“He bedded him and the next time Lindir and I met, he appeared, gloating, 
telling me he had seduced my lover.”
 
“I was devastated,” continued Lindir in a shaky tone. “I thought he loved 
me. He promised me an official bond, which was the main reason I let him 
make love to me.” Averting his eyes, he admitted, “I felt used.”
 
Severely shocked by what he had just learned, Elrond stared at them. “And 
Magolion is now in Imladris?” He felt a deep sympathy toward Lindir and 
instinctively knew that confiding in him had been hard on the minstrel. 
However, he deeply appreciated the trust Lindir obviously placed in him.
 
“Yes, Magolion sought me out in my rooms this afternoon.” Erestor gently 
rubbed the knuckles of Lindir’s hand. “But my brother failed to break up 
this friendship. It has become stronger since then.”
 
Elrond, who had been observing Lindir, read old pain in the forest-green 
eyes. “And now you think he will cause more problems?”
 
Lindir nodded. “I know how Magolion thinks. I am safe from him, 
because I am useless to him now. But he can still hurt Erestor.”
 
“In what way?” Elrond’s head was reeling with all this new information. 
 
“Once Magolion knows that Erestor cares for Glorfindel he will go after 
our dear Captain. He will seduce Glorfindel just to hurt Erestor.” Lindir 
moistened his lips. “And Glorfindel is just as vulnerable as Erestor.” 
 
Elrond nodded in understanding. “I will keep a close eye on Magolion and 
our stubborn Balrog slayer.” He briefly paused to consider his next step. 
“Lindir, will you stay with Erestor tonight? I can keep him company 
tomorrow.” 
 
“I will stay with him,” confirmed Lindir, only now fully realizing what he 
had just told Elrond. The half-Elf now knew how stupid and naïve he had 
been in the past. Did Elrond now think less of him? But just then Erestor 
soothingly rubbed the back of his hand, easing his thoughts a little. Elrond 
was way out of his league anyway, so why worry about the Peredhel’s 
opinion of him?
 
Elrond got to his feet, pondering everything he had learned tonight. “I will 
order the guards to monitor Magolion and I will continue to talk some 
sense into Glorfindel.” 
 
“And I will take good care of Erestor,” promised Lindir passionately. His 
heart filled with a sweet longing, watching Elrond leave the room. If 
only…
 
“Lindir, you should tell him,” whispered Erestor softly – sleepily. Today’s 
events were taking its toll on him. 
 
“No, he is above my station. I would only make a fool out of myself by 
confessing my feelings to him.” Holding Erestor close, he listened to the 
raven-haired Elf’s breathing and was relieved when his friend finally 
succumbed to sleep. “Yes, sleep, my friend, and gather your strength. We 
aren’t alone in our fight against Magolion. Elrond is now on our side as 
well.” And they would deal with Glorfindel in their own time. For now, he 
needed to concentrate on Erestor’s needs.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Before retiring to his quarters, Elrond contacted the commanding officer, 
instructing the guard to keep an eye on Magolion. He didn’t want the Elf 
– who presented a real, potential danger – loose in Imladris. He also 
considered seeking out Glorfindel to warn him, but decided that could wait 
until tomorrow. Tired, he headed for his rooms, whilst Erestor and 
Lindir’s admissions replayed in his head. He intensely disliked Magolion 
after hearing Lindir’s heartfelt admission. It was very understandable that 
the minstrel felt used. 
 
Closing the doors to his rooms behind him, Elrond headed for the bed, 
where he sat down. When had everything become so complicated? Only a 
year ago Erestor and Glorfindel had been happy – or had seemed happy. 
Suddenly he wondered how long Erestor had been pretending that he was 
happy in love. 
 
He shrugged out of his formal robes, and clad only in his nightshirt, he slid 
between the covers. His mind involuntarily returned to something 
Glorfindel had said; that everybody always left him, and that he would be 
alone in the end. He understood the blond to a certain degree, because he 
felt the same way at times. And this was one of those times. But the 
difference between them was that he was more than willing to try again. 
He was still looking for a new mate, someone to share his life with after 
Celebrían had left for Valinor. 
 
And being honest with himself, he had to admit that he felt drawn to one 
Elf in particular. The first thing about Lindir that had captivated him right 
from the start had been the white-haired Elf’s enchanting voice. He had 
seldom heard someone sing with such palpable emotion. /And he is 
beautiful./ White hair was rather unique among his kind and it set Lindir 
apart from the rest. The large, green eyes spoke to him without the use of 
words and he often read desire in them. But what exactly Lindir desired 
remained hidden to him.
 
Yes, Lindir would be a good mate for him. The minstrel was artistic, 
friendly, always prepared to lend a helpful hand and desirable in every 
way he could think of. But after finding out how brutally Lindir’s trust had 
been abused by Magolion in the past, he suspected that the last thing the 
minstrel was interested in was building another relationship. /What a 
shame./ 
 
Grabbing a pillow, he hugged it tightly and cuddled up to it, imagining 
Lindir was in his arms.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Magolion used the cover of the night to extract useful information from 
the guards on duty, the cooks in the kitchen and the chambermaids. After 
only a few hours of intense questioning, he knew almost everything of his 
brother’s life here. Apparently Erestor was highly respected and a few 
Elves had even admitted being attracted to Erestor to him.
 
But he had learned the most important bit from a stable hand. Apparently 
Erestor had a lover. A sly grin had surfaced on his face, finally 
understanding why Erestor had nearly thrown him out of his room. /Now, 
dear brother, let us see if you have developed a better taste since Lindir./ 
 
He had questioned the stable hand further, finding out more about 
Glorfindel, the alleged Balrog slayer and reborn Captain of Gondolin. /A 
warrior? Erestor fell for a warrior? That is a first!/ That fact would make 
this even easier!
 
When he eventually also learned that Erestor had moved out of 
Glorfindel’s rooms, signaling a break of some sort, it was then that he 
knew he could make his brother truly miserable by seducing Glorfindel. 
 
After thanking the stable hand for supplying this information, he returned 
to his guest quarters. Sitting down in front of the dresser, he began to braid 
his hair. He put in warrior braids, which would doubtlessly draw 
Glorfindel’s attention during their first encounter, which he would 
carefully orchestrate. 
 
He had always hated his half-brother. Erestor had ruined their lives and in 
time he had learned to hate his younger brother. He had vowed to make 
sure Erestor was as miserable as he was. One of the things he had done to 
accomplish that was to steal Erestor’s first lover away from him.
 
Erestor had been blissfully inexperienced when it came to courting another 
Elf, something he had been quick to use against his brother. It had been so 
easy to steal Erestor’s lovers away from him and seducing Glorfindel 
would be the crown on his work. Apparently Erestor and the warrior had 
been together for a thousand years, so that meant his brother truly loved 
the Elda. Seeing Glorfindel in his arms would cause his brother the 
greatest possible heartbreak, which was just… perfect!
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Looking into the mirror, Glorfindel cringed at his reflection. He had tossed 
and turned throughout the night, never finding sleep for long. Guilt had 
woken him up, and at one time he had even started down the corridor to 
ask Erestor for forgiveness and to beg the dark-haired Elf to take him 
back. But he had turned around once he had realized where he was 
heading and why. 
 
He collected his clothes and slipped into green leggings and a gray shirt. 
After stepping into his boots, he draped his riding cloak over his 
shoulders, determined to find distraction by joining the patrol that left in 
the afternoon. In the morning he would train with his men. He had to do 
his best to avoid running into Erestor, for he had no idea how he would 
react when seeing his former lover. 
 
Stepping into the courtyard, he headed for the training grounds in need of 
some distraction. All he saw in his mind’s eye was Erestor, standing in 
front of him, crying. The pleading expression in those dark, chocolate 
brown eyes nearly caused his heart to break again. “I am sorry, Erestor, 
but this is for the best.” Erestor had moved out of his rooms, signaling 
their relationship had ended. 
 
Once he had reached the training grounds, he noticed he was a tad early. 
The guards hadn’t arrived yet, but there was already one Elf practicing his 
sword fighting skills. Leaning against the trunk of a tree he watched this 
Elf. The dark-haired warrior was obviously a skilled swordsman who 
knew how to wield his weapon effectively. The movements were fluid and 
graceful and spoke of considerable strength. This stranger could easily 
take out several Orcs. His curiosity piqued, Glorfindel wondered about the 
Elf’s identity. The stranger wasn’t wearing Imladris’ colors and Glorfindel 
was fairly certain he had never seen him before. 
 
Suddenly the Elf turned around, apparently lunging at an imaginary foe 
and Glorfindel’s heart missed a beat. For one moment he thought he was 
looking at Erestor, but this Elf’s eyes weren’t chocolate brown. /Who is 
he?/ Intrigued, he continued to watch.
 
Magolion felt Glorfindel’s eyes on him and smirked privately. His plan 
was working. He had seen Glorfindel leave his rooms, sword girded 
around his waist and had figured the blond would head to the training 
grounds first. So he had made sure Glorfindel would find him here. Going 
through his daily practice allowed him to show off his skills with a sword, 
hoping to impress the Elda. Once he had Glorfindel’s attention, the rest 
would be easy.
Ending his routine, he sheathed his sword and acted surprised at finding 
Glorfindel close. “My Lord, am I trespassing? I am a mere stranger here 
and unfamiliar with Imladris’ customs.” Bowing respectfully, he made 
sure he met Glorfindel’s gaze, knowing a true warrior never shied away 
from eye contact. 
 
“You aren’t trespassing. These are the training grounds and I must say you 
are skilled with a blade.” Glorfindel had trembled softly at hearing the 
other’s voice for the first time. Even that voice bore some semblance to his 
former lover’s. His heart still ached for Erestor, but he couldn’t take the 
risk that the advisor would leave him again. He had to accept that their 
relationship was over and that he was available again, able to court 
someone else... Someone he didn’t love and this Elf intrigued him. 
 
“Thank you for your kind words,” said Magolion, accepting the 
compliment. “It has been some time though since I have had the 
opportunity to train properly.”
 
“You are new to Imladris,” said Glorfindel, trying to keep the 
conversation going. “Where are you from?”
 
“I resided in Mirkwood for some time, but my heart eventually guided me 
here. I heard of Imladris’ beauty and had to see for myself.” Magolion saw 
the interest in Glorfindel’s eyes and knew his plan would work as long as 
he proceeded carefully. “I took part in many of King Thranduil’s border 
patrols and sharpened my skills fighting Orcs and deadly spiders. After 
seeing such darkness I needed to see Imladris’ light.”
 
Glorfindel nodded in understanding. “The valley is beautiful and its ruler 
very wise. You will enjoy your stay here.” Glorfindel raised a hand, 
signaling for the raven-haired warrior to follow him. “But I should mind 
my manners. I haven’t introduced myself yet. I am Glorfindel.” His 
companion suddenly stopped in his tracks and when he looked at him, he 
found the other’s eyes big and filled with respect. 
 
“I have heard many tales of your valor, Lord Glorfindel,” said Magolion, 
pretending to be awed in Glorfindel’s presence. “I am honored to make 
your acquaintance.” Bowing again, he sat down on the grass when 
Glorfindel signaled for him to seat himself beside the blond. “My name is 
Magolion.”
 
Glorfindel nodded, pleased. “Will you stay here for long or are you merely 
passing through?” He was definitely interested in learning more about this 
Elf who so closely resembled Erestor in appearance. The fact that 
Magolion was also a warrior attracted him even more to this raven-haired 
Elf, figuring they had more in common than Erestor and he ever had.
 
“I plan on staying for quite some time, my Lord.”
 
“Please, no titles,” said Glorfindel, quickly correcting him. “We are 
warriors and there is no need for titles among peers.”
 
Magolion inclined his head in approval. “But of course, Glorfindel. I am 
not fond of titles either.” He smiled warmly at the blond and when 
Glorfindel returned that smile he already felt victorious. Seducing 
Glorfindel and luring him into his bed would be easier than he had 
thought!


Beta read by Sulien
All remaining mistakes are mine.

Love of my Life
Part 4 

 
Lindir woke first the next morning and smiled dotingly at the lap full of 
dark-haired Elf sprawled across him. It was beyond him how anyone – let 
alone Glorfindel – could reject Erestor. Looking up, he caught Arien’s 
first golden rays illuminating the rooms. It was time to wake Erestor and 
take him to Elrond’s study. He did think it would be best if Erestor wasn’t 
alone for the next few days. “Erestor? Wake up.” Tickling Erestor ever so 
lightly, he smiled as a muffled groan escaped his friend’s lips.
 
Erestor reluctantly woke up, and raising his head, he met Lindir’s 
sparkling eyes. A smile began to form on his face, but then faded as he 
recalled what had happened yesterday. “You are a good friend,” he said in 
an awkward tone. “I am glad you stayed.”
 
Lindir nodded in understanding. “We will eat breakfast together and then 
you should join Elrond in his study.” 
 
“You will make sure I get no time to brood,” said Erestor wistfully. 
 
“I will do my best.” Lindir then leaned in closer and pressed a brotherly 
kiss on Erestor’s brow. “Why don’t you take a bathe? I will arrange for 
breakfast in the meantime.”
 
With slow and sluggish movements Erestor pushed himself upright. After 
swaying on his feet momentarily, he disappeared into the bathroom, where 
he first splashed ice cold water on his face. He stared in the mirror, but 
then quickly looked away again. He simply couldn’t face himself this 
morning. Last night’s argument with Glorfindel returned to him and he 
wondered what he could have done differently. Maybe he had been wrong 
to simply move out of the blond’s rooms. Maybe they should have 
discussed it first, but when had he been supposed to do that? Glorfindel 
had avoided him most of the time. No, moving out had been the right thing 
to do. He simply couldn’t have spent another night in Glorfindel’s bed. 
 
“Erestor? Is something amiss?” Lindir stood near the doorway and had 
been alerted, not hearing any water fill the pool.
 
“Lindir, everything is fine. I just need a moment to collect myself.” 
Erestor filled the pool, removed his nightshirt and stepped into the warm 
water. Cocooned by warmth, his tears reappeared, leaving his eyes. 
Sobbing softly, he mourned the loss of his love. 
 
“Erestor? Are you crying?” Lindir had heard the sobbing and had grown 
increasingly worried. Not getting an answer, he quickly made his decision 
and entered the bathroom. Erestor was shaking like a leaf and the sobs 
grew increasingly louder. Following his instincts, he shrugged out of his 
robes and descended into the pool, quickly wrapping Erestor in a tight 
hug. Words were redundant, knowing that Erestor merely needed to feel 
someone close. They stayed like that for long minutes and when Erestor’s 
sobs finally faded, the dark eyes finally met his. “Feeling better now?”
 
“A bit,” said Erestor, his voice hitching. “I wonder what is wrong with 
me.”
 
“You are mourning the loss of your relationship,” explained Lindir 
patiently. “Which is normal.”
 
“It is?” Erestor wiped away his tears and began to free himself of Lindir’s 
embrace. “I need to stop doing this.”
 
“Crying will help you heal.” Lindir let him go and Erestor left the pool. 
 
Erestor quickly dried his skin and hair, and then stepped into the bedroom 
to select today’s robes. Lindir also dried himself and then joined his friend 
in the bedroom, where he slipped into clean robes, which Erestor kindly 
lent him. “Erestor?” Coming to a standstill in front of his friend, he 
cupped Erestor’s chin in his palm. “You *do* know that you can always 
come to me when you are in need of a friend? Don’t lock yourself up in 
here.”
 
Erestor managed a weak smile and hugged Lindir close. “Thank you for 
your continued support.” He was thankful that Lindir remained at his side 
after everything they had gone through. “And be careful around Magolion. 
He might not have the means to hurt you, but you should remain alert 
nonetheless.”
 
Lindir smiled encouragingly. “Magolion has hurt me in the past, that is 
correct, but I came out of it much stronger. He won’t be able to intimidate 
or use me ever again.” He would do his best to protect his loved ones from 
Magolion’s evil scheming. “And Elrond now knows as well.”
 
“Elrond…” Erestor smiled conspiringly. “Maybe we could meet for 
dinner? The three of us?” He couldn’t have Glorfindel, but maybe he 
could help Lindir attract Elrond’s attention. Until now he had refrained 
from meddling in his friend’s affairs, but he wanted Lindir to have a 
chance with the half-Elf. 
 
“Erestor, I am never invited to those dinners. They are private.” Lindir 
carefully steered his friend toward the doorway. 
 
“Maybe you can sing for us?” He would excuse himself during dinner, 
giving them a chance to spend the evening together. Yes, that might work! 
Plotting in this way also distracted him from thinking about Glorfindel too 
much. The blond was never out of his thoughts, but focusing on Lindir and 
Elrond provided him with a distraction, plus he was helping his friends to 
get to know each other better.
 
Lindir smiled sweetly. “I will sing for Elrond and you any time.”
 
“We are agreed then!” said Erestor, momentarily cheerful. “We will have 
dinner together!” Seeing Lindir’s slightly amused expression, he knew his 
friend had realized his hidden agenda, but he didn’t mind. /If Elrond is 
only remotely interested in you I will make sure he finds out that you are 
in love with him!/
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
After breakfast Lindir and Erestor went separate ways. Erestor headed for 
Elrond’s study, whilst Lindir sought out the Hall of Fire to compose music 
and work on new poetry with his fellow musicians. But in order to reach 
the Hall of Fire he had to pass by the stables and his heart stopped beating 
momentarily, seeing Glorfindel and Magolion standing in the courtyard, 
the blond already mounting Asfaloth. Magolion held the reins of a black 
stallion, which he had never seen before. “No, this cannot be happening.” 
He had been afraid that Magolion would move in on Glorfindel, but he 
hadn’t thought it would happen this quickly! 
 
What was he to do? Glorfindel was smiling warmly at Magolion, 
apparently joking with the raven-haired Elf. /He has no idea he is trying to 
befriend a snake that will lash out at him and bite him when he least 
expects it./ He had to do something before Glorfindel made the worst 
mistake of his life! He knew how cunning Magolion was when it came to 
hurting Erestor.
 
Running down the stairs, he quickly headed toward them, trying to catch 
Glorfindel’s gaze. “Glorfindel!”
 
Glorfindel frowned questioningly, seeing Lindir approach. Recalling that 
Lindir had been comforting Erestor last night, he couldn’t help but feel 
curious. “Lindir, what brings you here?” Was something wrong with 
Erestor? He didn’t want to care, but he did.
 
Lindir smiled at Glorfindel. He had to do something now, before 
Magolion found a way to use his likeness to Erestor to his advantage. “I 
see you have already met Erestor’s brother Magolion?” He smiled sweetly 
at the dark-haired Elf, seeing instant anger appear in the green eyes. /He 
didn’t want Glorfindel to find out just yet!/
 
“Erestor’s brother?” Glorfindel’s eyes narrowed, fastening on Magolion. 
 
“Ai, you know my half-brother? I didn’t know that.” Magolion tried to 
look repentant. “I haven’t seen Erestor for centuries and I forgot that you 
could be acquainted.”
 
“You are Erestor’s brother?” Glorfindel stared at Magolion in disbelief.
 
Lindir felt a flash of satisfaction, realizing Glorfindel was now looking at 
Magolion in a different way. 
 
“Yes, Erestor is my younger half-brother.” Magolion smiled brilliantly at 
Glorfindel. “And I am impressed and proud, finding him holding the 
position of chief advisor at this court. I look forward to enveloping him in 
my arms again. I hope he will find a moment to welcome his brother to 
Imladris.”
 
Lindir’s eyes narrowed dangerously. /You hate Erestor./ But Magolion 
was an excellent actor and he could tell to his utter dismay that Glorfindel 
believed the lies. 
 
Glorfindel felt dizzy when he realized he had tried to impress Erestor’s 
brother. /That is why he reminds me of Erestor so much. I should have 
known./ He sighed and then addressed Lindir again. “Is there anything you 
want?”
 
“Lord Elrond wants you to report to him after today’s patrol instead of 
counselor Erestor, for understandable reasons.” Lindir caught a flash of 
‘something’ in Glorfindel’s eyes, but failed to label the expression. 
 
“Understood.” Glorfindel signaled for Magolion to mount. He had 
promised to show the dark-haired Elf around Imladris and couldn’t go 
back on his offer now. But before leaving, he leaned in closer and 
whispered, “Lindir, how fares Erestor?”
 
Lindir’s features softened, once more reminded that Glorfindel still loved 
Erestor, but for some reason the warrior was fighting admitting that truth. 
“He’s trying to deal with the loss.”
 
“The loss?” Realization suddenly hit Glorfindel hard.
 
“Losing you, Glorfindel,” said Lindir softly. Finding that Magolion was 
waiting for Glorfindel near the stables, he used this moment to warn the 
blond. It was up to Glorfindel to heed his warning or not, but he couldn’t 
simply stand by and let the Elda head toward his ruin. “A word, 
Glorfindel.”
 
The blond nodded, but was growing impatient, uncertain what else Lindir 
wanted to address. 
 
“Magolion and Erestor aren’t friends. I wouldn’t get caught up between 
them if I were you. Most certainly not if you ever want to rekindle your 
relationship with Erestor.” Lindir hoped he had phrased that tactfully 
enough, as he didn’t want to sound condemning of Glorfindel’s actions.
 
“Lindir, you might mean well, but I decide whom to befriend or not,” said 
Glorfindel slightly defensively. He understood what Lindir was trying to 
say, but he disliked the idea that the minstrel was warning him not to 
befriend Magolion. 
 
“Magolion will only bring you pain and grief,” said Lindir, speaking from 
personal experience. “But it seems you need to find out for yourself.” He 
had done everything he could and now turned away from the blond. 
 
“Lindir?” Glorfindel reached forward and managed to rest one hand on the 
Elf’s shoulder. When Lindir looked at him, Glorfindel saw concern in the 
green eyes; concern which was aimed at him. “You will be there for 
Erestor, won’t you?”
 
Lindir nodded once. “But I shouldn’t have to be there for him. He needs 
you, Glorfindel. He still loves you.”
 
“I know he loves me,” said Glorfindel in a miserable tone. For one 
moment it seemed as if he wanted to add something, but then he pressed 
his heels into Asfaloth’s flanks, steering his horse toward Magolion. He 
had chosen his path and now he had to walk it alone.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Elrond rose from behind his desk the moment Erestor entered his study. 
His advisor carried several scrolls, which needed careful reading, but first 
he studied the dark-haired Elf. Looking closely, he saw a faint echo of last 
night: red-rimmed eyes, which were still slightly swimming with emotion. 
Erestor was trying hard to pretend he was fine, but Elrond wasn’t fooled. 
“Erestor, please sit down and join me for tea.” He had prepared this herbal 
tea especially for Erestor, hoping it would soothe his friend’s nerves.
 
Sitting down opposite Elrond, Erestor placed the scrolls on the desk. 
“These are on Orc activity mostly,” he said, not looking forward to 
answering the half-Elf’s questions about his mental state. Seeing the 
concerned look in Elrond’s calm eyes, he knew it was only a matter of 
time before the questions came pouring out. 
 
Elrond handed Erestor a cup of herbal tea and then leaned back in his 
chair, nursing his own hot drink. He gave Erestor a moment to settle down 
and Elrond sipped his tea carefully, as it was still awfully hot. 
 
Realizing it was best to get this over with, Erestor volunteered the 
information Elrond probably wanted. “Lindir stayed with me last night. He 
doesn’t think I should be alone for longer periods of time. He thinks I am 
going to brood about Glorfindel.”
 
“Is he right?” Elrond offered Erestor a slice of almond cake, knowing it 
was the advisor’s favorite.
 
Although Erestor wasn’t hungry, he gave in and ate. He hadn’t eaten much 
at breakfast and knew he had to keep up his strength in these stressful 
times. “Yes, I tend to brood. Lindir knows me well.”
 
“I must confess that last night took me aback. I knew Lindir and you were 
friends, but I had no idea you were *that* close.”
 
Seeing a chance to compliment Lindir, Erestor said, “Lindir is a kind and 
romantic soul and I enjoy talking to him. We have grown close these last 
few millennia, especially after Magolion hurt him.”
 
Elrond nodded. “That is another thing that surprised me; Magolion. I had 
no idea you had a brother.”
 
“Half-brother. I try to avoid talking about him, as we aren’t on the best 
terms – which is an understatement if I may say so. Magolion has always 
hated me and Lindir paid the price for that loathing.”
 
Now that the topic was back to Lindir, Elrond shifted curiously in his 
chair. “So Magolion used Lindir in order to get to you?”
 
“Magolion thought that he was stealing my lover away from me, but 
Lindir never was my lover. Magolion didn’t believe me when I told him 
so. I didn’t think it was necessary to warn Lindir about my brother. When 
I found out Magolion had seduced him it was already too late. He had told 
Lindir that he loved him and that they would bind themselves in a 
ceremony. Lindir, who was at that point in love with my brother, fell for it. 
He has regretted it ever since.”
 
Elrond felt saddened that Lindir’s trust had been abused in such a way. “I 
cannot order Magolion to leave Imladris until he has wronged someone.”
 
“At that point it might already be too late.” Erestor sighed deeply, sipped 
his tea and growing restless, he rose to his feet to pace the study. His 
pacing took him close to the window and he absentmindedly looked 
outside, hearing noise coming from the courtyard. “Oh, no…”
 
Alarmed at the desolate tone of Erestor’s voice, Elrond quickly rose from 
his chair and joined his friend, also looking outside to find out what was 
upsetting his advisor. Glorfindel had dismounted and one of the stable 
hands was leading Asfaloth toward the tables. A dark-haired Elf stood 
next to the blond, smiling brilliantly and ever so lightly touching the Elda. 
“Don’t tell me that is Magolion.” 
 
“Yes, that is my half-brother,” confirmed Erestor in a hoarse tone. “He 
didn’t waste any time.” His heart contracted with pain, finding that 
Glorfindel was ever so slightly leaning into Magolion’s touch whenever 
his brother rested a hand on the small of the Elda’s back.
 
“I cannot believe Glorfindel would fall for him.” Elrond determinedly 
shook his head. “I do think he still loves you.”
 
“That doesn’t matter,” said Erestor in sudden understanding. “Glorfindel 
feels I abandoned him by moving out and that is why he ended things with 
me. He is afraid, Elrond, afraid to commit to me. With Magolion there 
won’t be any commitment. My half-brother isn’t looking for a lover or a 
mate, he is merely seducing Glorfindel to hurt me.”
 
“I cannot understand why he wants to hurt you. You are brothers!”
 
“But Magolion and I were never friends,” said Erestor in a thoughtful 
tone, feeling strangely numb. His eyes followed the two Elves until they 
had entered the Last Homely House and disappeared from view. “We 
never shared a bond like you and Elros did,” he said, seeking out Elrond’s 
eyes, “Or a tight connection like Elladan and Elrohir. Magolion and I are 
too different to get along.” 
 
“But still…” Elrond wished he had visited with Glorfindel yesterday 
evening instead of postponing it. Maybe then Glorfindel wouldn’t have 
fallen for Magolion’s manipulation. “I will talk to him later.”
 
“I doubt that will make a difference,” whispered Erestor, strangely calmly. 
“And we shouldn’t forget that Glorfindel is an adult who can make his 
own decisions. He won’t listen to you and Magolion won’t give up on 
seducing Glorfindel.”
 
“Aiya, is there anything I can do to help?” offered Elrond, frustrated that 
he couldn’t solve this situation for Erestor.
 
“Glorfindel is on his own now,” said Erestor softly, trying to calm down 
the thundering of his heart, realizing he would never feel the blond’s arms 
wrapped around him again. “We can only hope that he will realize 
Magolion isn’t what he pretends to be.”
 
Acting instinctively, Elrond reached out and folded an arm around his 
friend’s shoulders, guiding him back to his chair. “I don’t want you to sit 
in your rooms tonight – alone and brooding. Join me for dinner and maybe 
a game of chess later?”
 
Erestor gave Elrond a grateful smile. “Invite Lindir as well. He has a great 
singing voice.”
 
Elrond nodded his approval, liking the idea of spending time with Lindir. 
“I will invite him.” He briefly wondered about the faint grin on Erestor’s 
face, but when it was gone a moment later, he thought he had just 
imagined it. 
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Farewell sweet earth and northern sky,
For ever blest, since here did lie
And here with lissom limbs did run
Beneath the Moon, beneath the Sun,
Luthien Tinuviel
More fair than mortal tongue can tell.
Through all to ruin fell to the world
And were dissolved and backward hurled
Unmade into the old abyss,
Yet were its making good, for this –
The dusk, the dawn, the earth, the sea –
That Luthien for a time should be. 
 
Elrond wiped away the tear Lindir’s voice had managed to draw from his 
eyes. The minstrel’s voice was sweet and full of emotion, making him feel 
part of the song. “You have a rare gift, my friend.” 
 
Lindir blushed at hearing Elrond’s compliment. He had been stunned to 
hear that he was invited to join the two Elves in Elrond’s rooms for dinner, 
but quickly realized Erestor had had his hand in this. “Thank you, my 
Lord.” Shifting on his chair, he fumbled the fabric of his robes, feeling 
strangely shy and awkward. He briefly looked up to meet Elrond’s probing 
eyes, and seeing the emotion in them, he quickly averted them, looking 
straight into Erestor’s amused ones. /He set me up!/
 
Erestor read Lindir’s face like an open book. Yes, he had arranged this and 
planned to retire to his rooms in a few minutes. Maybe an evening alone 
would work wonders where Lindir and Elrond were concerned, but first… 
“Their love was such sweet bitter pain.” And so was his, for his heart still 
ached for Glorfindel, but he ruthlessly pushed that need away, telling 
himself to focus on Lindir and Elrond instead. Both Lindir and Elrond 
gave him concerned looks and he forced himself to smile reassuringly. 
“But the time has come to let go of past loves and to look toward the 
future.” 
Erestor smiled, as this was going as planned. “Pray tell, Elrond, does 
anyone special warm your heart?” 
 
Lindir was now blushing furiously, wishing the ground would open and 
swallow him. Erestor wasn’t going to do this to him, was he? No, his 
friend would never expose him in such a way! He had to believe that!
 
Elrond reminded himself that Erestor probably had a good reason for 
asking this question and Lindir had turned a charming shade of red. Was it 
possible that…? Could Lindir be in love with him? No, he couldn’t 
possibly be that lucky, but then again, Erestor was asking and Lindir 
blushing, even averting his eyes. He decided to take the risk. “Yes, there is 
a certain someone.”
 
“A male Elf?” probed Erestor, noticing the meaningful looks Elrond was 
giving Lindir.
 
“Yes.” Elrond smiled encouragingly at the two Elves.
 
“Hum…” Erestor cleared his throat, hoping he was reading Elrond right. 
The half-Elf had never mentioned anything to him about being attracted to 
Lindir, but then again, Elrond was entitled to his privacy. “You see, Lindir 
here has a special someone too, but he is too shy to tell his beloved.” 
 
“Erestor!” Shocked, Lindir pushed back his chair and jumped to his feet. 
“You promised not to tell him!” Realizing he had just given himself away, 
he quickly covered his mouth and tried to flee the room, heading for the 
doorway. But Elrond moved faster and blocked his path. 
 
“Wait!” Elrond’s thoughts raced, hoping he had understood correctly. 
“Wait, Lindir, please!” Gathering a shaky hand in his, he guided the 
minstrel back to their table and made sure he sat down. Pulling up an 
empty chair, he sat down next to Lindir, momentarily forgetting about 
Erestor. “Did I understand correctly? Am *I* that special someone?” 
Staring into Lindir’s big, frightened, and embarrassed eyes, he held his 
breath, hoping Lindir would be honest with him.
 
“Erestor promised to keep quiet,” grumbled Lindir, displeased.
 
“I did remain quiet for three thousand years,” said Erestor slowly, making 
eye contact with his friend. “But honestly, Lindir, I also told you to admit 
your feelings to Elrond.” He felt a bit guilty for betraying Lindir’s trust in 
him, but if he read Elrond right, Lindir might thank him later!
 
“You shouldn’t have told him!” objected Lindir.
 
“Well, technically, I didn’t tell him,” said Erestor smugly, “You did.” 
 
Lindir sighed, distressed. “I am not talking to you.” 
 
But Erestor knew Lindir didn’t mean it. He also knew it was time to give 
them some privacy. “I will join you tomorrow in your study, Elrond.” 
Faking a huge yawn, he rose from his chair and stretched. “I am tired.”
 
“I will accompany you!” Lindir, seeing a way out of this awkward 
situation, tried to jump up from his chair, but Elrond’s hold on his hand 
made him sit down again, hanging his head in defeat. 
 
“No, you will stay here and we will talk,” decreed Elrond. His gaze shifted 
from the minstrel to Erestor and he gave his advisor a thankful smile. “He 
is in the best hands with me. I won’t hurt him.”
 
“I know you won’t,” said Erestor firmly. He briefly squeezed Lindir’s 
shoulder for support and then left the room, giving them a chance to talk. 
As he continued walking, he suddenly realized he was on his way to 
Glorfindel’s rooms and immediately turned around, afraid to discover 
Magolion had already found a way into Glorfindel’s bed. Marching 
toward his own chambers, he mentally prepared himself for a lonely night.

Beta read by Sulien.
All remaining mistakes are mine.

Love of my Life 
Part 5
 

“Lindir?” Elrond cupped the minstrel’s chin in the palm of his hand and 
raised the handsome face. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” The feline, 
green eyes danced nervously about in their eye sockets. 
 
“I didn’t think you were interested in me in that way.” Lindir swallowed 
hard, growing increasingly nervous now that Elrond held his stare. “I 
didn’t even know you were interested in males.”
 
“It has been millennia since I last had a male lover, Lindir.” Elrond rubbed 
his thumb against the soft skin in a sensual caress. “And to be perfectly 
honest with you, I had no idea you were attracted to me or I would have 
acted on it sooner.”
 
Lindir stared at Elrond in disbelief. “But… you are Elrond Half-Elven! 
You rule Imladris and I… I am a mere minstrel!”
 
“A minstrel who has touched my heart,” said Elrond softly, letting a 
fingertip ghost over Lindir’s lips, gently tracing them. “And apparently, I 
touched yours too.” 
 
Lindir moistened his lips and closed his eyes, making his next admission. 
“I never thought you would want me, especially now that you know I let 
Magolion use me in the past.” 
 
“Magolion.” Elrond growled the name. “He had better not come near you. 
I still remember how to wield my sword.” Unexpectedly, Lindir’s eyes 
opened and stared at him with open wonder and admiration. “Did you 
think I would judge you for being in love? Magolion used you to get to 
Erestor. I would never judge you for that.” Cocking his head, he searched 
the dark, dilated pupils in a sea of turquoise. “I will make him pay if he 
dares laying even a finger on you…” His voice trailed off, his tone clearly 
showing his intentions. 
 
Lindir smiled shyly and raised a shaky hand to caress a strand of Elrond’s 
hair. His touch was hesitant and uncertain, but when Elrond leaned in 
closer to rub his cheek against the palm of his hand, Lindir began to calm 
down and accept this, no matter how unexpected it was. “I never thought 
this day would come. I will thank Erestor later for making me let that one 
slip.”
 
“He is chief advisor for a reason,” said Elrond smugly. Caressing Lindir’s 
face, he purred his pleasure at finding the minstrel leaning into the touch. 
Elrond smiled, realizing their courtship would be slow, sensual and 
romantic. He was already looking forward to slowly making Lindir his.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Glorfindel wasn't sure why he was taking Magolion along to his rooms. 
When Lindir had told him that the dark-haired Elf was Erestor's brother, 
his first instinct had been to avoid any further contact, but he found 
comfort in the contact and Magolion was pleasant company. During their 
ride, he had watched the dark hair dance against the Elf's back and it had 
been easy to pretend it was Erestor with him and not Magolion. 
 
Magolion, who had fallen into step beside Glorfindel, looked at the blond 
with a predatory expression in his eyes. The Elda literally radiated pent up 
sexual energy. Seducing him would be easy. "Are you upset because I 
forgot to mention that I have kin here? I honestly didn’t know you were 
friends with my brother." 
 
"There is more to this than you know," said Glorfindel hesitantly. He 
didn't want to discuss ending his relationship with Magolion right now. "I 
was just surprised because Erestor never mentioned you to me." Not once 
during the thousand years they had spent together had Erestor brought up 
his brother.
 
"It has been a while since I saw him last," said Magolion, pondering what 
strategy to use to placate Glorfindel and stop the questions. /He is a 
warrior and will appreciate it if I act like one too./ He quickly made up his 
mind and slid an arm around the blond's waist.
 
Glorfindel was briefly stunned at the contact and almost pulled away from 
Magolion, but in the end his need for close contact won. It had been 
months since Erestor and he had been intimate and he craved an intimate 
touch, even if it came from Magolion. 
 
"Ah, I feel it too. You need me." Acting quickly, Magolion pushed 
Glorfindel against the wall, effectively pinning the muscular body with 
his. Seductively, he rubbed his lower body against Glorfindel's groin, 
grinning when he encountered the hard bulge beneath the breeches. "You 
want me."
 
Glorfindel wanted to push Magolion away, but lacked the strength and 
conviction to do so. "Is it that obvious?" He groaned needily when 
Magolion rubbed his hard flesh through the fabric of his breeches and 
suddenly the lacing was undone, warm fingers slipping inside. At the same 
time an eager and agile tongue teasingly licked his earlobe before teeth 
pulled it into a warm mouth to suckle on it. "Yes, I need it..." 
 
"Then let me. I want you too," whispered Magolion sensually into 
Glorfindel's ear, whilst the tip of his tongue traced a delicately curved ear 
tip. He had already slipped one hand inside and now curled his fingers 
around the slick erection. "I found myself attracted to you the moment I 
laid eyes on you." Suckling the skin beneath Glorfindel's ear, he left a 
passion mark above the collar for Erestor to see. 
 
"I... want this..." panted Glorfindel, "But we... shouldn’t... do this..." 
Although Magolion's dexterous fingers did incredible things to his 
erection, part of him warned him not to go any further. Magolion wasn't 
Erestor. He didn't love Magolion, didn't even really want him, but Erestor 
had moved out of his rooms and their relationship had come to an end. 
Why not lose himself in this fling? His heart missed a beat, finding 
Magolion had gone down onto his knees in front of him and was now 
pushing down his breeches to fully free his member. Before he got the 
chance to object, demanding lips closed over the tip of his erection. A 
swirling tongue lapped at the slick head and Glorfindel instinctively rested 
his hands on the dark head, urging Magolion on. Looking at the bobbing 
head, it was easy to pretend it was Erestor, and not Magolion, bringing 
him to orgasm.
 
Magolion grinned, relaxed his throat, and took in Glorfindel's length, 
suckling softly. One hand settled possessively on Glorfindel's buttock, 
squeezing firmly, whilst his other manipulated the testes. He could tell that 
the blond was close and hummed softly, letting the sound vibrate around 
the hard flesh. /Glorfindel is mine now. Erestor, you didn’t take care of his 
needs. You made it so easy for me!/
 
Glorfindel was nearly delirious, moaning incoherently. Running his 
fingers through the thick, raven hair, he thought of Erestor, not allowing 
the truth to settle in; the truth being that Magolion was with him and not 
Erestor. Thrusting into the welcoming and warm mouth, he quickly found 
release. His heart thundered madly, but once the waves of ecstasy faded 
away, he could no longer deny the truth. Seeing Magolion smugly lick him 
clean, he was overcome with guilt. What he was doing was wrong. Instead 
of letting Magolion pleasure him, he should be doing his best to win 
Erestor back. /But Erestor already made his decision./
 
"Glorfindel! Erestor!"
 
Glorfindel's eyes widened with shock. He had easily identified Elladan's 
voice, and when he looked at the younger half-Elf, he froze with shame. 
 
Elladan's glance had been amused, finding his two former tutors in such a 
compromising position, but it quickly changed into disbelief and then 
shock, realizing it wasn't Erestor on his knees. The eyes that stared back at 
him weren’t chocolate brown. "Glorfindel? I thought... Erestor and 
you...?" Distraught, he mumbled an apology, blushed, and quickly turned 
around to walk away. When he had happened upon them in the corridor, it 
hadn't been his intention to watch, but the sensual scene had fascinated 
him. 
 
Realizing it wasn't Erestor with Glorfindel had thoroughly shaken him. 
/Not Erestor? But I thought Glorfindel and Erestor loved one another./ 
Elves cheating on each other was unheard of! Finding that his feet had 
carried him to Elrond's study, he resolutely opened the door without 
knocking first, in dire need of his father's council. "Ada? I just saw 
Glorfindel in the corridor and he was with a stranger... They were... 
being..." Oh, how to phrase this? "Intimate." To his left, something heavy 
hit the floor with a loud thud, and turning around, Elladan found that 
Erestor had dropped a book. "Erestor?" Oops, this was bad. Why hadn't he 
checked if the councilor was present before blurting out something so 
delicate?
 
Elrond had been studying a map, but now looked up and walked toward 
his son. "Elladan!" He cast a concerned look in Erestor's direction, 
wondering how his friend would react to learning this upsetting news. He 
really needed to have a word with Glorfindel. Such conduct wasn’t 
appropriate and certainly not for his Captain who should be setting an 
example for their people!
 
"If you would excuse me... There is a matter I have to attend to." Erestor 
quickly fled the room, unable to deal with the Peredhil right now.
 
Elrond let Erestor go, realizing his friend needed a moment to compose 
himself. He would speak with his friend later. "Elladan, why must you 
always be this careless?" Elrond collapsed onto his chair and signaled for 
Elladan to approach. He had tried to teach Elladan some diplomacy and 
tact, but it always seemed to backfire. Looking at his son's face, he 
realized witnessing such an intimate scene had truly upset Elladan. The 
younger half-Elf had never expected to find Glorfindel in such a 
compromising situation with a stranger.
 
"I didn’t know that Erestor was here!" Elladan blushed, hoping Erestor 
would forgive him for barging in like that. If he had known his former 
tutor was present he would never have blurted that out! He had seen the 
hurt in the chocolate brown eyes and would do anything to take his words 
back. 
 
"Ai, 'tis not your fault," said Elrond thoughtfully. "You didn’t know that 
Erestor and Glorfindel had ended their relationship."
 
Elladan's eyes widened. "They did what? But they seemed so happy!" His 
heart instinctively went out to Erestor, after having witnessed Glorfindel's 
public misconduct. The Elda's behavior puzzled him though. He had never 
known Glorfindel to act in such an unfitting manner before.
 
Elrond nodded once. "I will tell you everything you need to know, but we 
need to act now and limit the damage which has been done." He planned 
on talking to Glorfindel personally and sending Elladan to comfort 
Erestor. Slowly, he rose from his chair, a plan forming in his head. "Walk 
with me, Elladan. I need your assistance."
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Glorfindel had never before felt so ashamed of his behavior as now. 
Unable to meet Magolion's eyes, he quickly tucked his shirt in his 
breeches and redid the lacing. "What we did was wrong."
 
Magolion knew when to back down and give his prey a way out. Looking 
petulant, he bowed his head. "You are probably right, but my passion for 
you overwhelmed me and I thought you would welcome my touch." 
 
Glorfindel hadn't been expecting those words, and guilt came crashing in 
on him. "It wasn’t your fault alone. I didn’t stop you." And Elladan had 
witnessed this escapade. It was only a matter of time before Elrond knew 
and eventually Erestor. Even if his former lover had been willing to take 
him back, Erestor would no longer want to touch him now and he didn't 
blame the advisor. His behavior was utterly unforgivable. 
 
Realizing he needed to give Glorfindel some privacy, Magolion took a 
step away from him. "I am sorry if I trespassed. That was never my 
intention. I should probably leave now, but maybe we can spar again in 
the morning?" /Give a little and take a little. Make him feel guilty and feed 
his need for contact. He doesn’t want to be alone, but after this incident he 
won't dare look at Erestor ever again. That will drive him back into my 
arms./ Ah, this was working out well.
 
"I am not sure we should meet again," whispered Glorfindel, uncertainly. 
 
Magolion nodded once, not pressuring Glorfindel, knowing pushing the 
blond would chase him away. "I will be there, just in case you reconsider." 
After giving Glorfindel's hand one last reassuring squeeze, he released the 
limb and walked down the corridor, eventually disappearing from view.
 
Glorfindel quickly stepped into his rooms, immediately closing the door 
behind him. Leaning against the door for support, he panted hard. What in 
the Valar's name had possessed him to let Magolion do that to him? True, 
it had been months since he had felt an intimate touch, but this had been 
uncalled for. But Magolion had made it so easy for him! The dark-haired 
Elf had practically offered himself to him!
 
"It should never have happened," whispered Glorfindel absentmindedly. 
"He is Erestor's brother!" But it was too late now for regrets. Elladan had 
seen them and Glorfindel mentally prepared himself for a confrontation, 
most likely with Elrond. The ruler of Imladris couldn't condone such 
misconduct and would call him on it. 
 
But how would Erestor react when learning he had acted like a harlot, 
letting Magolion have his way with him? /Ai, I never wanted to hurt you, 
Erestor. I still love you... but you left me... like Ecthelion did. Everyone 
leaves me... Always leaving me alone.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Elladan carefully approached Erestor. It had taken him some time to locate 
the elusive Elf, but he had eventually found the advisor in one of the more 
secluded gardens, seated on a bench. The lost expression in the chocolate 
brown eyes made him halt in his tracks, wondering if he had the right to 
disturb Erestor whilst the elder Elf was clearly upset. But his former tutor 
had never let him get away with sulking when he had still been an Elfling. 
Apparently the tables had been turned and it was now his place to comfort 
the other Elf. 
 
Remaining silent for now, he sat down beside Erestor, occasionally 
glancing at the other's face. Erestor seemed distant to him and he wasn't 
even sure the elder Elf had registered his arrival. "Erestor?"
 
Erestor shook himself from his musings. What use was there in worrying 
about Glorfindel when the blond had obviously found a companion in 
Magolion? /But Magolion is only using him, you know that,/ his inner 
voice chided him. /He will hurt Glorfindel./ 
 
"Erestor? Can you hear me?"
 
Elladan's hand unexpectedly covered his, jolting Erestor back to reality. 
"Elladan, what are you doing out here? I thought it was your turn to work 
with the healers today?" 
 
"The healers can do without me," said Elladan, softly rubbing the back of 
Erestor's hand. Erestor had always been a good friend and now it was his 
turn to be there for the elder Elf. "But you look like you can do with some 
company." 
 
Erestor sighed, resigned, realizing Elrond had told Elladan what had 
happened these last few days. "I will get used to being alone again, 
Elladan."
 
Elladan flinched momentarily. "I thought Glorfindel and you were happy. 
I don’t understand why he would end this relationship and seek out 
another's company."
 
"My brother's company," whispered Erestor knowingly. Hearing Elladan's 
sharp intake of breath, he realized that Elrond had not told Elladan about 
Magolion yet. "Yes, my brother. You heard correctly. Magolion is my 
half-brother and out hunting Glorfindel."
 
Thoroughly confused, Elladan's eyes met Erestor's. "Please explain this to 
me?"
 
"My brother and I never got along, pen-neth. He hates me and wants what 
I have. I had Glorfindel, so now he wants him as well, thinking he can hurt 
me in that way."
 
"But his actions *are* hurting you!" Elladan had a hard time 
understanding why one brother would do this to the other. Elrohir would 
never intentionally hurt him! 
 
"That is what he wants, pen-neth." Erestor grew tired of discussing this. 
"Lindir tried to warn Glorfindel, but he is stubborn and will do his own 
will. I am afraid Magolion will badly hurt Glorfindel."
 
"Then you must warn Glorfindel yourself. He will surely listen to you!" 
Caught up in his own passion, Elladan raised Erestor's hand and cradled it 
tightly against his chest. To him, Erestor and Glorfindel were family. They 
had helped Elrond and Celebrían raise them and their happiness was 
important to him. "You cannot let him go toward his doom like that."
 
Erestor gave Elladan a warm smile. "Your loyalty does you credit, 
Elladan. But your father is already on his way to talk to Glorfindel. I 
shouldn’t meddle in this matter. Once Magolion realizes I still have an 
interest in Glorfindel he might hurt him more."
 
"You still love him," said Elladan wistfully. Cocking his head, he easily 
caught the echo of tears in the chocolate brown eyes.
 
"Of course I still love him." Erestor smiled sorrowfully. "I doubt I will 
ever stop loving him, but as long as he cannot admit he needs me and 
commits to me, I will have to love him from afar." 
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
When the knock on his door finally came, Glorfindel actually felt relieved. 
Waiting had been the hardest part. "Enter." His instincts told him to expect 
Elrond, though in his heart he hoped it was Erestor. 
 
"Glorfindel, we need to talk!" Elrond marched into the room, his robes 
swirling around him. 
 
Glorfindel cringed, easily recognizing Elrond's foul mood. /I don’t blame 
him for being furious with me./ "Before you say anything, I know I 
misbehaved in the worst way."
 
Elrond's eyes narrowed. "Just what part of your immature behavior are 
you referring to?"
 
A violent flinch moved through Glorfindel's frame. "I should never have 
engaged in such inappropriate behavior in public. I don’t know what I was 
thinking."
 
"That is the problem, Glorfindel, you aren't thinking!" Elrond impatiently 
paced the Elda's bedroom. "Glorfindel, he is Erestor's brother!"
 
"I didn’t know that at first," said Glorfindel in a guilty tone.
 
"But Lindir told you! You knew you were getting involved with Erestor's 
brother when Elladan found you in that corridor. How do you think 
Erestor feels about this?" Elrond studied him closely, finding regret and 
guilt in the azure eyes. "Seriously, Glorfindel, what are you doing? Why 
are you making this so much worse?"
 
Glorfindel drew in a deep breath. "Elrond, I apologize for my misconduct, 
but don’t tell me to forget about Magolion. I spent one day with him, and 
we already have more in common than Erestor and I ever had! He is a 
warrior. He understands me."
 
"He cannot replace Erestor," said Elrond ruefully, "but you need to find 
that out by yourself. I am afraid you will get hurt though. Even Erestor 
thinks so and he knows his brother well."
 
"Erestor..." Longing and melancholy echoed in his voice. "No one can 
replace Erestor."
 
Elrond easily caught the need and love in Glorfindel's voice and once 
again wondered why the Elda was acting in this way. Moving closer 
toward his friend, Elrond rested a hand on the blond's shoulder. He waited 
for Glorfindel to raise his head and look at him. "Why don't you go to 
Erestor and talk to him? I am sure he will take you back if you admit to 
making mistakes."
 
"Why should I go to him? Let him come to me! He moved out, I didn't." 
Pouting, Glorfindel brushed off the half-Elf's hand and he took a step 
away from him. 
 
"Stop being so damn stubborn!" Elrond felt like pulling out his hair, 
utterly frustrated now that Glorfindel refused to act rationally. 
 
Glorfindel raised his head and met Elrond's furious gaze. "I apologized for 
my behavior, Elrond, and I ensure you it will never happen again, but 
don’t make my decisions for me. If Erestor still wants me, he should come 
to me and tell me. If he doesn't..."
 
Elrond brusquely turned around, infuriated that Glorfindel wasn't listening 
to him. He didn't want Magolion to further hurt Glorfindel, but the blond 
just wouldn't listen. "Then find out for yourself that Magolion is no good 
for you!" Contrary to his gentle nature, Elrond slammed the door shut 
behind him. Glorfindel had never refused his council before and to find 
the blond beyond reason now was infuriating!
 
Elrond headed for the Hall of Fire, hoping to find Lindir there as he was in 
need of a listening ear and sound council himself.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
"You must excuse me now, Elladan." It was dinner time and Erestor 
wasn’t inclined to join them, knowing Magolion would be gloating at his 
newest conquest. "But I do want you to know that I appreciate you 
spending time with me when your duties lie elsewhere." He did feel a bit 
guilty, knowing Elladan was supposed to be assisting the healers.
 
"I am certain Elrohir is helping them by now." His twin had always 
possessed the uncanny ability to read his mind and Elladan hadn't been 
shielding his thoughts. "You loved fussing over us when we were children 
and I love returning the favor now."
 
Erestor graced Elladan with a warm, grateful smile. "You should join your 
father for dinner. He will surely want you to attend."
 
Elladan gave Erestor a long, pondering look. "No, I won't join my father 
this evening. I am more in the mood for a private, comfortable dinner for 
two. Your place or mine?" he asked cheekily, enjoying seeing Erestor's 
stunned expression. 
 
"Elladan?" Erestor hoped Elladan had been jesting.
 
"Seriously, I don’t think it would be good for you to be facing Glorfindel 
and Magolion now. Maybe we can have dinner in your rooms? You need 
to eat, and so do I."
 
Erestor smiled in understanding. Elladan had worried him for one moment 
when he had thought the half-Elf was making a rather indecent proposal. 
 
Elladan drew the attention of a servant who was passing by and requested 
food be sent to the chief councilor's quarters. At the same time, he also 
asked the she-Elf to inform Elrond that his son and chief councilor 
wouldn't join him for dinner. The she-Elf blushed slightly, being 
addressed by the Lord's oldest son and quickly left, fidgeting nervously 
with the fabric of her dress. 
 
Her reaction hadn't been lost on Erestor, who smiled dotingly at the young 
half-Elf. Falling into step beside Elladan, he wondered, "You are of the 
right age to choose a mate, still you postpone that decision. Is there no one 
who captivates your heart?"
 
Elladan gave Erestor a puzzled look, whilst opening the door to the 
advisor's rooms. "Curious, are you?" 
 
Smiling, Erestor nodded once. He walked toward his closet, removed a 
comfortable evening robe and changed his clothing after going into the 
bathroom. By the time he returned, the servants had arrived, carrying 
dinner with them. After setting the food on the table, the maids left, giving 
them their privacy. 
 
Erestor sat down and watched Elladan make himself comfortable. The 
half-Elf lay sprawled in his chair, letting his feet bungle over the arm rest. 
In his opinion Elladan had always been the more open and expressive 
twin, at times even reminding him of Elros, whilst Elrohir had definitely 
taken after his father – being the more quiet and brooding one. "You never 
answered my question, Elladan." Looking at the food, he felt slightly 
nauseous. The last thing he wanted was to eat, as he still felt sick with 
longing for Glorfindel, but he knew he had to keep up his strength and 
reluctantly started on the soup, dipping pieces of bread in the warm liquid. 
"So, pray tell me, have you already lost your heart to someone?" To his 
utter delight, Elladan blushed and spilled some of his soup.
 
"I would rather not answer." Elladan wondered how he had gotten himself 
in this situation. He had just wanted to keep Erestor company and to make 
sure the elder Elf wasn't brooding! 
 
Erestor leaned back in his chair and his eyes narrowed, considering his 
possibilities. "Would your love by any chance be silver-haired, Elladan?" 
Oops, now Elladan spat out the soup he had dared drinking. Elegantly, 
Erestor offered him a napkin to limit the damage done. "I gather I am 
right?" He knew he shouldn't be teasing Elladan, but it kept him from 
worrying about Glorfindel and Magolion. 
 
"How did you know?" Elladan gave Erestor a shy look. Did his former 
tutor really know who he was in love with? But he had been so careful! 
Not even his secret love knew he was the object of Elladan's desire! 
 
"One only needs eyes to see," said Erestor in a kind tone. "You didn’t tell 
Orophin yet?"
 
Elladan hung his head in defeat. "Nothing ever escapes your attention. 
Yes, you are right. I am in love with him." Peeking at Erestor's calm, 
chocolate brown eyes, he added, "I didn’t tell him. And I don’t think I ever 
will." 
 
Erestor frowned. "And why is that?" Elladan wasn't shy, at least he didn't 
think so.
 
"Orophin lives in ‘Lorien and my destiny lies here in Imladris. I doubt he 
is willing to leave the Golden Wood to be with me. It would be too big a 
sacrifice." Puzzled, he watched as Erestor's expression changed from 
curiosity to concern.
 
"I am not your father, but may I give you some parental advice?" Elladan 
was old enough to be his son and he had often felt like a parent, when 
helping raise the twins. 
 
"Of course." Elladan curled his fingers around the cup of hot tea, warming 
his hands. He would never dismiss Erestor's council, knowing that even 
his father heeded it. 
 
"Take the risk and tell him. Don't worry about what can happen. Find out 
what *will* happen. Maybe you are right and you will be disappointed 
because Orophin doesn’t feel the same way or wants to stay in ‘Lorien. 
But maybe he *does* feel the same way and he is willing to live here. You 
won't know until you ask." Reaching out, he rested a hand on Elladan's. 
"Trust me on this. Love is too precious to turn away." 
 
"You would know," escaped Elladan lips, unintentionally, and he 
immediately regretted those words. "I am sorry... I didn’t want to bring up 
Glorfindel." He involuntarily held his breath, hoping he hadn't made 
Erestor upset. But the elder Elf surprised him by smiling serenely and 
uncovering a strand of golden hair from his robes. 
 
"When Glorfindel and I admitted our feelings for one another, I asked him 
for a lock of his hair." Erestor tenderly ran his fingertips along the golden 
strand. "And he gave it to me. I have carried it with me since then. 'Tis my 
most treasured possession... Even now that we are no longer together." His 
eyes filled with love and longing, and it wasn't long until the first tears 
appeared. Slightly embarrassed at crying in front of Elladan, he quickly 
wiped them away with his sleeve. "I am not the best company right now, 
pen-neth."
 
Elladan reversed the hold on their hands and now cradled Erestor's in his. 
"Is there still a chance that the two of you might get together again? I do 
think the two of you are very right for each other."
 
Erestor carefully considered the half-Elf's question. "I hope so, but I doubt 
it. Glorfindel has never been able to commit to me and has always been 
afraid I would eventually leave him. When I finally moved out of his 
rooms he saw his worst fears come true, but he drove me into moving out. 
I never wanted to leave him, Elladan. I still love him." Dreamily, he 
fingered Glorfindel's golden lock. "I will always love him."
 
"Ai, Erestor." Elladan gently squeezed Erestor's hand. Although he should 
be heading back to the Healing House he was unable to leave Erestor 
alone in his suffering. Hopefully Elrohir understood and didn't mind 
taking over his duties for the night. In answer, he felt his twin respond, 
reassuring him he would help the healers instead. Focusing on Erestor 
once more, he smiled encouragingly at his former mentor. "Maybe 
Glorfindel will come to his senses."
 
Erestor's smile became sorrowful. He didn't dare hope Glorfindel would. 
Quickly changing their subject, he said, "Elladan, you shouldn’t be sitting 
with me when you are needed elsewhere."
 
"I told you earlier; Elrohir has taken over my duties. I am not missed. I can 
stay here with you." Elladan's smile suddenly burst with pleasure. "I 
finally get the chance to fuss over you for a change! You used to be a 
mother hen when Elrohir and I were little! Now it is my turn to mother 
you!" 
 
Erestor suddenly got very worried, seeing a very determined expression in 
the amused gray eyes. "Pen-neth?"
 
"Oh, we can play chess! Or I can read to you! And I want to tuck you in 
when you go to sleep!" He was barely able to stay seated as his 
enthusiasm got the better of him. "Give you a goodnight kiss!"
 
/Oh, the horror!/ Erestor startled at Elladan's enthusiasm. "You were a 
child back then! I am an adult!"
 
"That doesn’t matter to me," said Elladan, wickedly. "Oh, I am looking 
forward to this."
 
/Please, someone save me!/ But secretly he enjoyed Elladan's worry and 
desire to take care of him. They had raised the twins well!

Beta read by Sulien.
All remaining mistakes are mine.
Love of my Life
Part 6
 
 
Erestor couldn't really believe it, but Elladan had actually done it. The 
half-Elf had tucked the blankets around his form and was now leaning in 
closer to press a chaste kiss onto his brow. Cross-Eyed -- because he was 
trying to look at his former pupil -- he managed to hold on to his 
composure when Elladan's lips touched his forehead. This was 
embarrassing! Why had he ever agreed to this?
 
Elladan was really enjoying himself. Seeing Erestor squirm, he grinned 
wickedly. "Too bad I like Orophin, or I might have fallen for you instead."
 
Erestor could tell Elladan was teasing him but still... "You are beginning 
to scare me."
 
"I will take that as a compliment," said Elladan, laughing. He quickly 
sobered though. "I can stay if you would like me to."
 
"No, that isn’t necessary. I can spend the night alone." It would be strange 
though, without Lindir for company. But the white-haired Elf most 
certainly preferred Elrond's company now that they had admitted their 
feelings to each other. It wouldn't be fair to chain his friend to his side. 
"You should sleep in your own bed tonight and I am no child that needs 
watching."
 
Elladan reluctantly agreed, realizing he had done everything he could for 
Erestor. "If you need anything let me know?"
 
"I will," promised Erestor, thankfully, "And now go, and dream of your 
silver-haired sentry."
 
Elladan blushed weakly, nodded once, and then left Erestor's rooms, 
wishing he knew of a way to lessen his former tutor's pain.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Elrond found comfort and strength in the fact that Lindir was sitting next 
to him. The minstrel had sung several songs during the evening, 
entertaining and distracting him. Beneath the table he reached for Lindir's 
hand, gently curling his fingers around his beloved's. From the corner of 
his eye he observed Magolion and Glorfindel in turn. Glorfindel was 
seated at his table to his left, and Magolion at one of the guests' tables, but 
he caught them looking at each other several times. 
 
Keeping Lindir's warning in mind that Magolion was a ruthless opponent, 
he realized he had to come up with some sort of game plan. He cared too 
much for Glorfindel to allow the blond to be hurt further. If only his friend 
would listen to him!
 
"You cannot really stop Glorfindel if he wants to do this," whispered 
Lindir, thinking his remark rather bold. Elrond and he had talked much 
during the evening, but mostly about Erestor and Magolion. Lindir still 
wasn't sure what to make of this development. Elrond had told him they 
would go slow and that he wanted to court him properly, but he still wasn't 
sure what to expect. 
 
"But I don’t want to see Glorfindel hurt." Elrond rubbed Lindir's knuckles 
beneath the table, their hands hidden from view. 
 
"At least he had a warning. That is more than I ever had." 
 
The traces of bitterness that echoed in Lindir's voice chilled Elrond's heart 
and he sent a harsh glare in Magolion's direction. Overcome with a fierce 
protectiveness for his beloved, he hissed, "I will throw him out of Imladris 
if he even looks the wrong way at you."
 
Lindir was slightly taken aback, hearing that firm tone. "You should worry 
about Glorfindel instead. I am no longer of any interest to Magolion."
 
Those words touched Elrond's heart. "But you *are* of interest to *me*."
 
Lindir actually blushed. "Maybe you shouldn't say such things in public." 
He wasn't good at hiding his feelings, and one could easily tell he was in 
love. He wasn't sure how Elrond's children and household would react to 
learning this fact.
 
Seeing his beloved's nervousness cautioned Elrond to be more careful in 
public. "But it *is* true. I *am* interested in you." His gaze met 
Magolion's for one cold moment and his eyes narrowed, sending the other 
Elf a clear warning to stay away from his beloved.
 
Magolion understood perfectly, but dismissed the Lord's warning glare. 
His interest lay with Glorfindel.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Erestor had woken early that morning and had dressed somewhat 
sluggishly, missing Glorfindel's presence. He caressed the golden lock of 
hair before slipping it back into a pocket. Sighing his distress, he left his 
rooms to head for the library where he intended to archive several volumes 
that had arrived from Lothlórien the other day. 
 
Lothlórien. He had visited the Golden Wood several times in service to 
Elrond and was quite fond of it. Maybe it was time he visited there again? 
It would definitely put some distance between Glorfindel and he. /That 
might be just what I need; some time away from Glorfindel./ Though at 
the same time his heart ached with loneliness, wanting nothing more than 
the blond close. /But he is with Magolion now./ And his brother would 
hurt Glorfindel. 
 
As he walked down the long corridor, he looked outside. In the distance 
were the training grounds and he easily identified the two sparring forms, 
engaged in playful battle. He halted in his tracks, his Elven vision enabling 
him to follow the elegance and fluidity of the warriors' movements. It was 
a real shame that Magolion hated him with such a passion. His brother had 
the makings of a great warrior, but hatred had poisoned him from within 
and he had long given up on Magolion. 
 
Glorfindel lost his footing for the briefest of seconds and was now pushed 
back against a tree trunk. Magolion didn't waste any time and pressed his 
body against Glorfindel's, taking the other's lips in a bruising kiss. Feeling 
sad and lonely, Erestor quickly averted his eyes, continuing his walk, 
determined to ask Elrond for a favor.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
"Elrohir, can you stay here and work with the healers? I really want to 
check on Erestor." Elladan gave his twin a pleading look. It was still his 
turn to work with the healers, but as Elrohir wouldn't leave for patrols for 
a few more days he hoped his twin would help him out. "He really worries 
me."
 
Elrohir nodded once. His twin had told him about Erestor and Glorfindel 
ending their relationship and that development worried him as well. Like 
Elladan, he cared a lot for their former tutors. "Go on then. I will stay here. 
But don’t forget to keep me informed." 
 
Elladan thanked his twin by bestowing a quick hug on him and then raced 
out of the Healing House, heading for Erestor's rooms.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Elladan froze. He had just past by the stables and was about to leave the 
training grounds behind him when he caught sight of Glorfindel and 
Magolion. The two Elves were kissing, and Magolion was running his 
hands down Glorfindel's sides. Although his instincts told him not to get 
involved, he couldn't help interfering. "In Elbereth's name, Glorfindel, 
why are you doing this?" 
 
Shocked at being called on his behavior by Elladan, Glorfindel pulled 
away from Magolion, breaking off all bodily contact. Shuffling his feet, he 
found that he couldn't be cross with Elladan, knowing he *was* behaving 
in an odd way. When he had reached the training grounds this morning, he 
had found Magolion already there and his need for the other Elf had 
overwhelmed him. Magolion wasn't Erestor, but the Elf was warm and 
willing, just what he needed. "Elladan, I can explain..."
 
But Elladan cut the blond short. "Glorfindel, don't you know that Erestor 
is pining for you? Why don't you go to him? Talk to him!" Elladan was 
only one step away from dragging Glorfindel off to talk to Erestor, but 
knew he couldn't force his former mentor to face Erestor. 
 
Magolion wasn't certain what to do -- how to act. Apparently this young 
Elf cared greatly about Erestor and he wondered what effect that would 
have on his prey. "Glorfindel, I don’t want to cause you -- or my brother -- 
any unease. Maybe it would be best if we stopped this now, before it 
becomes... more."
 
Glorfindel was tempted to give in, but if he did and Magolion left, he 
would be alone again. "No, please stay." Turning toward Elladan, he 
rested his hands on the half-Elf's shoulders and said, "Elladan, you must 
accept that Erestor and I decided to go separate ways."
 
"But he still loves you," protested Elladan, ignoring Magolion.
 
/And I love him -- still,/ thought Glorfindel, but he didn't admit it aloud. 
"Pen-neth, why don't you look after Erestor? I am sure he would enjoy 
some company." 
 
"Are you dismissing me?" Elladan stared at his former tutor in disbelief. 
 
"I will leave with the patrol within the hour and I need to prepare for 
departure." Glorfindel hoped Elladan would leave quickly, growing 
uncomfortable at the way the half-Elf was looking at him. A sense of 
abandonment and disappointment spoke from those deep gray eyes. "Go 
and see to Erestor, Elladan."  
 
Elladan moved away from Glorfindel. "I cannot believe you are doing 
this!" Shaking his head, he finally made eye contact with Magolion and 
startled at seeing the cold, predatory glare in the other Elf's eyes. /You are 
going toward your doom, Glorfindel. Why won't you heed our words? Our 
warnings?/ Sighing deeply, he turned away and continued walking toward 
Erestor's rooms, hoping to find the elder Elf there.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
"Elrond? I have a request." Erestor soundlessly entered the Peredhel's 
study and sat down, waiting for his friend to look up from the scrolls he 
was reading. Making this request would be hard, but his heart told him it 
was the right thing to do. 
 
Elrond realized the seriousness of the situation when he looked into 
Erestor's calm and determined eyes. "Yes, what is it, Erestor?" He was 
surprised to see Erestor here. Hadn't his advisor planned to archive the 
newly arrived books from Celeborn? "What troubles you?” /Except from 
Glorfindel and Magolion?/
 
"I want to travel to the Golden Wood and spend some time there. I need to 
put some distance between Glorfindel and I. I simply cannot watch him 
fall into my brother's trap." Erestor averted his eyes and stared at the floor. 
"I need time to sort out my thoughts, my feelings and my needs. I cannot 
do that when I am focused on Glorfindel and Magolion."
 
"But once you are gone, Magolion can seduce Glorfindel openly!" Elrond 
didn't agree with Erestor's decision to leave, but also knew he couldn't stop 
his friend if Erestor's mind was really set. 
 
"I disagree. He might lose interest in Glorfindel without me being present 
to watch the seduction." Erestor gingerly met his friend's eyes. "You must 
understand that I cannot stay. Seeing them together hurts."
 
Elrond released a deep, tormented sigh. "An