Title: You’re not alone Type: FPS Author: zilah (zilah_o_imladris@...) Rating: NC-17 Disclaimer: Sad but true: they are not mine. I just play with them. No one pays me. Only the song in this story belongs to me. Warnings: WIP Pairing: Erestor/ Lindir Beta: Aline Author's Notes: I have wanted to try this adorable pairing very long time. I love Lindir, maybe because we have same profession and Erestor is just so sweet that I want him to be happy. And thank you Aline, for your excellent job. Without you, I was lost. Summary: Erestor is alone, but someone wants to end his loneliness. Feedback: I would be so happy if you tell me what you think. YOU’RE NOT ALONE Chapter 1. Lindir tried to hide his anger, when he saw a lonely figure sitting in a shadowy corner of the Fire- hall. “They are really blind! Can’t they see how beautiful he is? How his longing radiates from him? Cold, they say, but they are all wrong! You are not cold, Erestor nín (my Erestor), just shy and so sweet that I would give anything to make you mine,” Lindir thought to himself. When the night was almost over, the raven- haired Lord left quickly, disappearing into the shadows like so many nights before. Lindir stared at an empty seat for a long time, wondering about what he could do. Lindir had loved the advisor for a long time, but he had never dared to pursue him openly. And Lindir had thought him to be too much above him. But his heart ached when he saw Erestor’s loneliness. Lindir had seen him walking in the moonlight, so sad, that he wanted nothing else than go and hold him. Nobody deserved to be so alone, but Lindir’s feelings were not pity. Day after day he loved this raven- haired beauty even more, and all he wanted was to see his beloved happy. Slowly, he walked into his chamber, and after a long time wondering, he finally made up his mind. “Wait for a little bit longer, Erestor nín. I want to take away your loneliness. I want you.” Lindir started to compose a new song, which had itched in his mind for a long time. ******************************************************************** Erestor was confused. Who had sent him these gifts? They were short notes; with a few, beautiful lines in them, and always sent with some flowers. Now he had received four notes, and he had kept each one of them. He didn’t dare to tell anyone about these, for fear that this was only some kind of joke. But if this was a joke, someone had went to a lot of trouble for it. Erestor was quite familiar with poetry, but those lines weren’t from any known bard’s handwriting, of that, he was sure. And who was such a fool, that wrote beautiful poetry, only to make jokes with him? He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe, that someone really felt for him the way those notes spoke of it. No one wanted him, had ever wanted him before, and never would. He had cried out his loneliness many times, but he didn’t know how to change the fact. Everyone thought him to be cold and callous, but he wasn’t. Why else had he felt this pain inside of him? It was possible that these were sent because out of pity. Maybe someone had finally seen his pain, and had wanted to cheer him up? He didn’t know, and he would probably never find out the truth. But one thing he still knew: Whoever had sent him these, he had made him a favor, no matter which had been his motives. To think that someone had thought of him warmed Erestor’s heart. He didn’t dare to hope anything else, but sometimes he let himself dream, that maybe he would have someone to love too… someday… He looked at the newest note, reading it all over again. Again, a few lines, but this time in the note there was also a word. This was new. Other notes had been only short poems, without any sign of their sender. “Come to the Fire-hall tonight. Today you’ll hear a song, just for you, my sweet Erestor.” Erestor smiled mirthlessly. Had he not been in the Fire- hall every single night? And he had always been alone. No one had ever come to him. And he, pathetic, lovesick fool let himself to hope. “He will never love me.” He had never dared to tell anyone why he was in the Fire-hall every night. Lindir, the sweet minstrel, had been his secret love for a long time. The young elf was so beautiful, that Erestor’s heart nearly broke every time he saw him. And he was the very reason Erestor spent his evenings in the Fire- hall. Again, he thought that this was some cruel joke, meant to hurt him. Did he really want to know who had sent those notes to him? Maybe it was best to stay away tonight, and forget this riddle. Erestor hesitated for a long time. Finally, he decided to go, but he was going to settle himself, so that he would be able to escape quickly if necessary. ********************************************************************** Lindir sat at his usual place, preparing for the evening’s performance. This time he was unusually nervous. He tried to search for Erestor with his gaze, but there was no sign of him. Maybe the advisor wouldn’t come at all? Finally, Lindir saw him coming, and he sighed, relieved. This time the advisor didn’t sit at all, but stood near the door, obviously alert. “You don’t have to be afraid, Erestor nín. Soon your loneliness will be over, if you would have me. And others will see, that you are not cold.” Lindir raised his voice in song. This moment he had waited. Tonight he would have his heart’s desire. * * * * No more darkness, no more shadows. I’m here and you’re not alone, ever again. My love is yours, till the end of Arda. Let me be your shelter, your freedom. Let me hold you, because in my arms you belong: In my arms, forever. In my love you are free, Free from fears and worries. Say that you want to be mine, till the end of times and beyond. Together we are free, seeing shadows and night no more. Say that we share this love, This life, which has given to us. Make me, us, our love reality Say that you love me. * * * * Erestor listened to the beautiful music, first absently, but then his head snapped up abruptly. “He is singing that poem! What in Arda… How…?” He glanced at the young Minstrel, and to his surprise, Lindir looked straight at him. Erestor’s thoughts raced, and his heart pounded almost painfully in his chest. It wasn’t possible… Erestor couldn’t take his eyes away from Lindir. The minstrel had always sung beautifully, but this time he was breathtaking. There was so much emotion in his music, that all listeners soon had tears in their eyes. And when the last note finally echoed in the room, everyone stared unbelievingly how the minstrel left his harp, and stepped down. Then, he walked straight to Erestor extending his hand. Lindir’s heart raced, as he waited for Erestor’s answer. Finally, he saw Erestor blushing, and happy, though a shy smile appeared upon the advisor’s face. Slowly, he took the offered hand. Without a word Lindir escorted his beloved out of the Hall. Chapter 2. Erestor didn’t ask where they were going. He didn’t care where they went, as long as he was with Lindir. This felt like a dream, he wasn’t alone anymore. After a long walk they finally stopped and Lindir opened the door. “Would you like to come in, meleth nín (my love)?” The elf asked, smiling at Erestor. Erestor couldn’t believe his ears. “What did you call me?” He breathed. “You heard me fully well. Are you not meleth nín? I meant every word I sang for you, Erestor.” Lindir said seriously. Erestor stepped in with his heart racing. He started to understand that his life had changed forever. Lindir led him to the couch and they sat down. “Are you sure you really want someone like me?” Erestor asked shakily. He had always been alone, and it was almost impossible for him to believe that Lindir really loved him. “Erestor, I do want someone like you! No replacements, meleth nín, just you. I want only you, till the end of Arda.” Lindir assured passionately; his beautiful eyes sparkling with emotions. “I… I want you too.” Erestor said softly, his voice almost choking. They stared at each other for a moment, which felt almost like an eternity. Neither of them knew who made the first move but, suddenly, Erestor was in Lindir’s arms kissing him fiercely. Erestor’s years of loneliness and hopeless longing faded away in one glorious and fleeting moment. His thoughts and senses filled with Lindir’s intoxicating closeness, loving kisses and caresses. With shaky hands, Lindir made haste to undress his meleth. He wouldn’t allow anything, not one single garment to stay between them. When he finally felt warm, silky skin under his hands, he lowered his head to taste and kiss everywhere he could reach. Erestor’s scent, his taste of need trickled into Lindir’s senses, setting him on fire. Erestor trembled violently when he felt Lindir’s bare, aroused body above him and his hungry lips upon his skin. When had their clothes disappeared? He didn’t know, neither cared. Gentle hands had moved upon Erestor’s abdomen, and his breathing couched with sheer waiting what was to come. Suddenly Lindir’s lips were once again upon his mouth, asking, demanding his answer. “Erestor… say it! Say that you love me.” He whispered. For a moment, complete silence fell between them. “I love you, Lindir.” Erestor finally breathed, looking into blue, beautiful eyes. Like in a dream, he saw how a blond head bowed down on top of him, and hot lips pressed around him. The last rational thoughts he could have had vanished like ash in the wind. Lindir’s name erupted from Erestor’s lips like a hoarse cry when Erestor yielded to him. Lindir feasted on his meleth as if he were starving. Erestor laid beneath him, completely drowned in his passion. Never had Lindir seen a more beautiful sight. When Erestor finally came to him Lindir wailed as if he were dying. For a moment, he could only pant, feeling waves of Erestor’s completion under his hands. He gathered all the strength he had and stood up, lifting the writhing elf into his arms and carried him to bed. Erestor laid on the bed, panting, with his eyes closed. And in the next moment, Lindir was beside him, holding him gently. Erestor felt gentle hands sliding carefully upon his buttocks, asking, begging for permission. He nodded silently, knowing that he couldn’t go back anymore. Whatever happened, he belonged to Lindir, now and forever. Slowly, careful and gentle fingers prepared and stretched Erestor; they caressed and explored, until a hot wave of pleasure burst through him. “Lindir! Now… by the Valar! Take me.” Erestor pleaded, and wild longing burned within him. Finally, after a moment, which seemed an eternity, he felt a warm body leaning on top of him. Trembling and moaning, Erestor clung on to Lindir’s shoulders, and he finally joined them as one. “Erestor! Mine… say it.” Lindir demanded hoarsely. “Yours! Now and forever Lindir nín.” Erestor whispered, feeling complete for the first time in his life; and all rush faded away. Finally, they were one, as they were meant to be. Erestor held his meleth while he moved inside of him, leading them towards ecstasy. He softly caressed Lindir’s blond hair, which had dampened with sweat and their shared passion. Tears of joy ran from his eyes when Lindir bowed his head, kissing him all over again. Lindir cried Erestor’s name loudly when he finally found his release. Erestor’s hoarse cry echoed in his ears, making his ecstasy even more intense. He buried his head into the crook of Erestor’s neck, sobbing in painful rapture. Lindir felt arms around him, pulling him even closer. He had never felt anything like this; never knew that his beloved’s closeness would feel like this. Erestor was finally his. And he was Erestor’s. Warm happiness rippled inside of Erestor when he still held Lindir in his arms, not wanting to let go. Nobody had ever possessed him like this, with so much love that his heart almost burst with happiness when he thought of it. Lindir raised his head, kissing Erestor, and when he looked into his meleth’s eyes he saw Erestor smiling at him lovingly. Finally, Lindir saw his meleth’s fëa (soul) glowing for him, in all its beauty, and all fears and shadows were gone forever. They kissed and caressed each other for a long time, with all the fervor of their newly- awakened love, knowing that they belonged to each other. “I never believed that something like this would ever happen to me.” Erestor said softly, when he rested his head on Lindir’s chest. “You were wrong. I have loved you since I first met you and I knew that I would never want another.” Erestor glanced at Lindir, surprised. “But… but you weren’t even reached your majority when you came to Imladris with your parents.” “I wasn’t, but I was old enough to grieve them when they sailed to Valinor, leaving me behind. And I’ll never forget how you found me crying and consoled me.” Erestor frowned, remembering the encounter. “But how… are you sure that your feelings are not mere gratitude?” He asked quietly, not daring to meet Lindir’s gaze. “They are not. Despite my grief, I fell in love with you, because you were the most beautiful creature I had ever seen, and your compassion told me that your fëa matched your stunning appearance. I have you now, Erestor nín. And I haven’t any intentions of ever letting you go.” Tears of happiness formed in Erestor’s eyes. He had been sure that nobody had ever wanted him, because of his shyness. Everyone thought him to be cold and emotionless. Lindir was the only one who had ever seen under that façade. “Don’t cry, meleth nín. You are not alone, nor will be, ever again.” Lindir whispered, cradling him gently. “It feels so good to be in your arms. You are the reason why I went to the Fire- hall every evening. I had never had the courage to come to you, not even as a friend, but I loved to see you and listen to you.” r “Oh, meleth! You will be in my arms for the rest of your life.” Lindir assured him. They didn’t sleep that night, but held each other close, kissing and talking quietly, and when their passion stirred again, Erestor took Lindir, making him his own, forever. Chapter 3. Erestor woke up with a start and, to his dismay, he realized he was getting late. He made haste to get up, but stopped in his tracks after realizing that he wasn’t in his own room. Suddenly, the strange dream he had seen at night, started to come back. Or, had it really been a dream? “What in Arda? I don’t sleep naked.” He thought and studied his body, which felt somehow… unfamiliar. His skin was flushed, and his lower body ached and felt somewhat sore. Erestor caressed his skin, confused. He felt… claimed, completely possessed, and he didn’t know what to think about it. He knew he was alone. “But, if it had really happened, where was Lindir?” Erestor’s thoughts raced through his head and chilling fear made him shiver. Could it be possible that Lindir was gone, leaving him after having his way with him? Erestor started to remember last night’s events and his confusion grew. Something exceptional had happened last night. He had never yielded to anyone so completely before… he couldn’t resist, nor could he deny anything to Lindir. “For Valar’s sake! I love him so much but, what if… he doesn’t return my feelings, even if he said so? Why did he leave me like this?” ******************************************************************** Lindir stepped out from the bathroom, stretching enjoyably. Last night, in Erestor’s arms, had been the most wonderful one in his life. He had never known that such passion and pleasure could even exist. Lindir’s smile grew when he saw Erestor, his meleth. But his happiness faded when he noticed that Erestor had buried his face into his hands, and he could hear his sobbing. Silently, Lindir closed the distance between them and kneeled before Erestor, taking his hands. “What is the matter, meleth? Tell me, saes (please). I truly hope you don’t regret last night.” Lindir said gently, trying to soothe Erestor. He flinched when the elf finally met his gaze and he saw bare pain blazing in those beautiful dark eyes. “I… thought you had left me.” “Oh… Erestor nín (my Erestor)! How in Arda could you think that I would leave you like that? I love you, with all my heart. Even a whole eternity with you wouldn’t be enough for me.” “I didn’t know what to think when I woke up alone. At first, I almost thought it had been just a dream…” “Our love is no dream and I’m going to prove it to you.” Lindir whispered and pulled Erestor onto bed with him. He sensed Erestor’s hesitation, but soon the fire between them burned, and they melted in each other’s arms. Lindir pulled Erestor on top him and wrapped his legs around slender hips. “Take me, meleth, I want you so much.” Lindir whispered, swaying his hips pleadingly. Erestor felt so good in his arms, making Lindir’s longing grow almost painfully. Gentle hands and lips wandered over his writhing body, but it wasn’t enough. Lindir needed to feel Erestor within him, right now. He cried Erestor’s name when he finally pushed in, yielding completely to his meleth. Together, they drifted beyond all conception and the only thing left was the blinding rapture that shook their bodies. Lindir couldn’t turn his gaze away from Erestor’s face. Erestor’s beauty at the moment of his completion shook Lindir’s very core. He held Erestor tightly in his arms, soothing the violently trembling elf and whispering words of love. He would never let Erestor go, not as long as he lived. “I love you so much, Erestor nín. I really want to be right here… forever…” “I don’t know what I have done to deserve you, but I will never doubt your love again. I never knew that it was possible to be this happy.” Erestor whispered hoarsely, resting his head against Lindir’s shoulder. “That’s good to know, because I will never let you go.” Lindir said, possessively. Erestor chuckled, blushing. “I’m content with that. I never thought that someday, someone would just come and claim me as his own, but I like the feeling.” Both were languid and, furtively, they slipped into reverie; Erestor was still being tightly held in Lindir’s arms. ********************************************************************* Imladris’ people quickly noticed the new, happy couple. Many were astonished; they had considered the Chief- councilor cold and emotionless, but they had obviously been wrong. No one could not notice that Lindir and Erestor loved each other deeply. Both clearly shone with happiness and love and were rarely seen alone. But no one could have ever expected the incident that took place when they celebrated the first anniversary of their courting. Lindir sat on his usual place in the Fire-hall, preparing for the evening’s performance. This time, Erestor sat beside his lover; a warm smile upon his face. Lindir stood up, but people were surprised, when he didn’t start singing the song, but began to speak instead. “This last year has been the happiest in my whole life and many of you knows the reason. But, what you don’t know is that yesterday I and my beloved Erestor were bound to each other. And now we declare our vows in public. As some of you remember, a year ago I sang a song, which spoke of my feelings for Erestor. Now we will sing that song as it were was meant to be sung all along. All the elves in the hall gasped with surprise when Erestor stood up and stepped beside his beloved hervenn (husband). Lindir started to play his harp and sang about his love, for all to hear. But, this time, Erestor’s rich and warm voice joined Lindir’s bright and beautiful singing. * * * * SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME Together: No more darkness, no more shadows. Lindir: I’m here and you’re not alone, ever again. My love is yours, till the end of Arda. Erestor: As mine is yours, and has been so long. My life is yours, till the end of times and beyond. Lindir: Let me be your shelter, your freedom. Let me hold you, because in my arms you belong: Erestor: My shelter, my freedom you will be, and I will never let you go. In my arms you will stay. Together: In my arms, forever. Lindir: In my love you are free, Free from fears and worries. Say that you want to be mine, till the end of times and beyond. Erestor: So be it, and I’m yours, Till the end of Arda I will love you. No more fears, no more solitude. Only you and your love. Lindir: Together we are free, seeing shadows and night no more. Say that we share this love, This life, which was given to us. Make me, us, our love reality Say that you love me. Erestor: I choose freedom. I choose joy. With you I will share my whole life. I choose love, I choose you, My whole being will be yours. Our love is real, and has always been. I say that I love you. Together: Together we are free, seeing shadows and night no more. We share this life, this love, which was given to us. I say that I love you, and let our hearts to sing. Till the end of Arda I will love you. * * * * FIN.