Title:  Absence of Fear
Author: Anorien and Sairalinde 
Type: FPS
Pairing: Haldir/Faramir…mention of Elladan/Elrohir, Rumil/Orophin, 
Boromir/Aragorn
Rating: NC-17 
Beta: Ourselves
Warning: Abuse both physical and sexual. Incest. 
Disclaimer: J.R.R. Tolkien owns the characters. This story is A.U. of book 
canon. Faramir is based on David Wenham’s portrayal of the character in the 
movieverse of Peter Jackson.  This was written in fun that's all. 
Feedback: Yes please send to sairalinde @ hornofgondor.com 
or thechroniclesofosgiliath @ yahoo.com
Archiving: OEAM, Library of Moria, The Chronicles of Osgiliath, Saira's 
Library, other's ask. 
Summary: A.U. Haldir comes to Gondor for a meeting with the Steward and 
finds himself intrigued by the Steward’s youngest son. 
Notes: Please note that this story IS Alternate Universe. All the things you 
THOUGHT you knew from the books and movies MAY or MAY NOT be 
different.

// Indicate thoughts

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haldir stared at Denethor in amazement. The Silvan Elf had never met a man as 
obtuse and dead set against change as the Steward sitting across the table from 
him, glaring at Haldir and his brothers. 

"My Lord Denethor," Haldir said, determined to keep his voice neutral. "We are 
*not* here to take over your city, I assure you.  We are *trying* to form an 
alliance with Gondor." 

Denethor bit back a snarl and leveled his gaze at the blonde Elf before him.  He 
*hated* Elves.  They should all die a slow, painful death at the hands of a 
balrog, as far as he was concerned.   And of all the Elves he hated, Haldir was 
quickly getting to be high on his list.  Arrogant, cold, and haughty…even his 
own brothers said little to him.  And *where* was Faramir?  He knew better 
than to be late…especially when this meeting with these insufferable Elves had 
been scheduled for days.  //Of course, Boromir would have been on time.  And 
he would have handled this, rather than forcing the steward to waste his time in 
such a manner.  Typical Faramir though…the boy could do very little right.  Ah 
well…he could pay dearly for this.  Very, very dearly.//

~~~


Faramir rushed towards the large double doors of the council chamber. He was 
late and he was certain his father would be furious even if his excuse were a 
perfectly good one. 

Slapping at the dust on his sleeve he took a deep breath and looked at the guards 
who flanked the doorway. Both had a look of sympathy in their eyes...they 
knew much of what the young man had endured in these halls. Taking a deep 
breath as the guard opened the door he strode through trying to keep his head 
up. He knew that with visitors, especially *these* visitors his father would want 
him to look every bit of the Stewards son even if he wasn't the one he wanted to 
be attending this meeting. 

"My deepest apologies for my tardiness," he said bowing as his father looked up 
and gave him a piercing look.

Denethor studied his son for a moment, wishing with all his heart that just 
*once* Faramir could do something right. Considering Faramir's preoccupation 
with the Elves, he was surprised he hadn't been here fawning over the creatures 
from the moment they'd arrived. At least he would have been spared listening to 
Haldir, who, Denethor had no doubt, was not to be trusted under any 
circumstances. 

Turning his attention back to Faramir, Denethor rolled his eyes. "Just once, 
Faramir," he ground out between gritted teeth, "I would ask you not to 
embarrass me in front of our guests. Now kindly sit down and try not to 
embarrass me further." 

Haldir took advantage of the Steward's distraction and conferred with his 
brothers. They were obviously getting nowhere with their discussions, and he 
was almost to the point of asking to speak to one of the Gondorian councilors 
instead. Both his brothers agreed, and Haldir looked up to address Denethor 
once again. 

Before he could speak, his gaze traveled to the young man that was sitting 
timidly beside the Steward. He was the most beautiful man Haldir had ever 
seen, and he found himself wishing he would look up to meet his gaze.   His 
breath caught in his throat and his fingers curled in his lap as he fought the urge 
to reach across the table and gently tilt the young man’s face up so he could see 
his eyes.

"I am Haldir, " he said softly, ignoring Denethor's murderous look and staring at 
the young man. "I do not believe I have had the pleasure of making your 
acquaintance."  //Pen velui (lovely one), you are beautiful.  Please look at me.// 

Realizing one of the Elven ambassadors were addressing him, Faramir looked 
up slowly his eyes meeting with dazzling blue eyes. He realized he was staring 
for a moment as he looked at the Elf. He was quite simply the most stunning 
being he'd ever encountered in his life. 

"I..." clearing his throat he attempted a small smile, "I am Faramir, I am honored 
to meet you Master Elf," he said softly his gaze soon drifting back to the table. 
He could feel his father's eyes on him and wished yet again that he could have 
gone to Rohan instead of Boromir. 

Haldir reluctantly drug his eyes away from the young man, noting that he had 
the clearest, most beautiful blue eyes he'd ever seen. He was fairer than any Elf, 
and Haldir longed to learn more of him even though he seemed determined to 
stare unrelentingly at the table. 

//Faramir// The name rang in Haldir's ears long after Denethor began to speak - 
rather, to argue once more - and the three Silvan Elves were soon embroiled in 
yet another heated discussion about borders and Rangers and unwanted 
alliances. 

During the discussion Faramir listened patiently, all the while stealing glances 
at the one named Haldir. His long straight hair shone like Mithril in the waning 
sunlight. He relayed the information his father wanted him to, but carefully 
avoided offering any opinions or suggestions though many had come to mind. 

He knew that his ideas would not be welcomed. He would instead wait until 
Boromir returned and offer the ideas to him, they would be accepted by their 
father without question, but if he made them they would barely leave his lips 
before they were dismissed. 

As the negotiations seemed to be drawing to a close he looked up to see Haldir 
staring at him. Immediately his face flushed and he looked back down at the 
table not wanting his father to notice. //Why would an Elf even bother himself 
to look at someone like me? Perhaps my late arrival has offended him too? //

"Enough." Denethor stood and, forgoing all further pleasantries, stormed out of 
the room. Having to spend several hours with both his lesser son and these 
arrogant Lorien Elves was more than he could bear.  He made no attempt to 
keep his words from being heard, and he grumbled every step of the way until 
the doors closed behind him.

'At least Faramir isn't quoting that old fool, Mithrandir,' Denethor thought 
angrily as he strode to his chambers. Faramir was naive and easily misled by the 
vile old wizard, and had the irritating habit of agreeing with him in most cases - 
even siding with him on occasion. And those Elves! If *only* his good son were 
here, Boromir could take these inconsequential meetings and leave Denethor to 
his more pressing duties of running his city. But, alas, he was always left with 
the *other* son.  The son who was good for only one thing - and he wasn't even 
very good at that. Slamming the door to his bedroom, Denethor left word with a 
guard for Faramir to report to him at once after he left the meeting hall. At least 
he would find *some* relief on this day. 

Faramir winced as his father had stood up quickly half expecting a fist to land 
on his back as it had at other times when his father grew frustrated. Keeping his 
head down until his father had cleared the large doorway he looked up slowly, 
"I am sorry," he said softly. 

Haldir, startled at the rather abrupt and obvious dismissal, turned his attention 
back to Faramir. "I think your father has much to learn of Elven ways," he 
smiled at the young man. "You, however, seem to be more open to change…and 
offers of assistance."  


Orophin and Rumil turned to look at their older brother in surprise.  He was 
actually being kind to a total stranger!  He was rarely even kind to those he 
knew well, and he was being positively solicitous to the steward’s son.  They 
wisely kept their mouths closed and moved across the room, studying their 
brother intently.  

"My...openness to change and assistance is of no consequence. I wish I could be 
of more help. Perhaps if your party is able to stay until my brother Boromir 
returns you will find my father more...cooperative." Faramir stood up and 
bowed slightly to the Elves as he spotted a guard looking in the door sadly at 
him. He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to swallow the lump forming in 
his throat. Father was irritated, and he would pay for it as always. 

Haldir studied Faramir carefully for a moment before speaking. "No 
consequence?" he said slowly, noticing the way Faramir's eyes looked toward 
the door and almost visibly winced. //Whatever could bring so much sadness to 
such beautiful eyes?//

Rumil and Orophin began speaking quietly, wondering if this Elf speaking so 
kindly to Faramir was actually their brother.  He *looked* like him, but his 
entire demeanor had changed.  He was smiling!  Their brother *never* smiled.  
And he was speaking softly, seemingly trying to get the young man he was 
speaking with to relax.  

Shaking his head, Haldir tried to remain focused and not get distracted by those 
blue eyes that made him want to forget everything and everyone else on Arda.  
It was not like him at all to be so taken with anyone….let alone a mortal man!  
He prided himself on having ties to no one, and keeping any emotions he felt 
well under wraps.  Yet something inside him refused to allow anything but kind 
and soothing words to fall from his lips, and before he knew it, he was speaking 
again.  "As the son of the Steward, I would imagine you are well versed in 
strategy…and would know that turning away a powerful ally is never a wise 
choice." Standing up, Haldir walked to Faramir's side. "Maybe it is you that we 
should be speaking to, instead of your Father?"
 
Faramir looked up from his intent study of the floor when Haldir spoke and he 
began shaking his head, "Please...please do not ever say that in my father's 
presence," he found himself begging. If his father ever heard those words there 
was no telling what sort of rage it would throw him into.   “I...I am not...my 
brother will be returning from Rohan soon...I think you will find it easier to deal 
with my father when he is present," Faramir said softly, his gaze dropping away 
from the beautiful eyes of the Elf. "I must go," he said glancing at the guard still 
standing in the doorway. He knew that if he  tarried too long it would only 
enrage his father more and it would be even more painful. //Just go...get it over 
with.//  

Haldir's eyes widened in shock at the panicked undercurrent present in Faramir's 
voice. The young man was obviously frightened. Could he have misread the 
piercing blue eyes so completely? Was Faramir of the same mindset as his 
father? Did he so dislike and fear the Elves that he would use any excuse to flee 
from their presence? Or was the fear directly related to Denethor, and not Haldir 
and his brothers? 

"Faramir," Haldir said gently, fighting the urge to place his hand on Faramir's 
arm.  He wondered for a moment what had gotten into him.  He didn’t like 
touching people, and he didn’t like being touched.  Yet his brain and his heart 
seemed to be at odds with each other as he moved closer to the young man who 
seemed so frightened and innocent.  "I will do as you wish. I will say nothing to 
your Father. But I would like to speak with you again, privately. I would like to 
have at least one ally in Gondor."

Faramir looked back up and gave a tentative smile, "You do have an ally in 
me...but I'm afraid that will do little to help your cause," he said softly. "I would 
like to speak to you but...I will be required to explain my tardiness this 
afternoon and I fear if I keep him waiting much longer his mood will darken 
even further," Faramir explained carefully. 

Haldir's heart beat faster as Faramir turned and smiled at him. His smile is as 
mesmerizing as his eyes, Haldir thought to himself. "Then I shall look forward 
to speaking with you again, my friend," he said softly. "I will leave you to your 
duties, and hope that our paths shall cross again before I must take leave of your 
fair city."

"I hope that as well," Faramir said softly bowing his head slightly and then 
bowing to the other two Elves before he made his way for the door. 

The guard there shook his head, "He was angry, you best not tarry any longer 
my Lord," the guard said softly. 

Faramir nodded and quickly made his way up to his father's chamber hoping if 
he got there swiftly enough he would not have to endure too much of his father's 
wrath. He already knew what he would face, and hoped that his temper had 
cooled somewhat. It was but a small hope. 

Haldir stared thoughtfully after Faramir as he hurried from the room, apparently 
being called to more important duties than dealing with tiresome elves. 
Remembering the young man's smile, brief though it was, Haldir sighed, 
wishing he could have held Faramir's interest for a while, and gotten to know 
him better. 

He turned to his brothers and began discussing their plans for the evening. The 
three Elves decided to retire to their rooms for a few hours, and then meet back 
in the main dining hall for the evening meal. Haldir gave in to Orophin's pleas 
and promised to not bring up alliances or treaties or patrols with anyone that 
evening, especially Denethor, and the brothers looked forward to what would 
hopefully be a peaceful meal.

Rumil and Orophin were about to burst with questions, but as soon as Faramir 
left the room, the Haldir they’d known for most of their lives returned.  He was 
business-like and distant, and they both wondered if they’d been seeing things.  
Their brother was *not* one to befriend anyone, nor was he one who worried 
about making others feel better.  Many would not have even known the three of 
them were even family, for all the attention Haldir usually paid to his younger 
brothers.

~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Moving down the hallway as quickly as possible on unstable legs, weak from 
pain and humiliation, the only thought left on Faramir’s mind was to find some 
peace. Quite simply he had to find his room before he became a weeping mass 
of faded scars reopened before his father's feet. He stayed close to the smooth 
marble lined walls, both to cling to for support against the pain, and to hide his 
shame lest another meet him in the hall. Faramir knew if he met any other in 
these halls their eyes would burn right through his soul and see the disgusting 
truth, which lay there.  

Faramir staggered toward his room, finally managing to open his door on the 
second attempt. Shutting it quickly he slid down to his knees against it. Pressing 
his face against the cool wood he attempted to will his body to stop trembling. It 
had been worse than he thought it might be, his father's anger and frustrations 
from the day had all been taken out on Faramir, physically, emotionally, and 
worst of all...sexually.

He shuddered and tried to push his aching body up from the floor but found 
himself unable to. Finally succumbing to the pain of his body and in his heart he 
began to weep. Hot tears traced a path down his face as he quietly sobbed, 
having learned at a very young age how to cry without making a sound.

Faramir's mind replayed the horrible events in his father's study, the result of his 
being late today. Denethor screamed at him as the lash fell over and over again, 
reopening old wounds and adding new ones. "Weak, pathetic excuse for a man. 
You shame me and all of Gondor with your weakness," he seethed.

Clutching his ruined tunic closer to his body, Faramir knew the back was 
already laced with stripes of dark blood. The blood soaked material shifted and 
felt wet and cold against his back. He would almost welcome the blood and 
scars over the pain in his heart and mind. His sense of self-loathing for what he 
had been forced to do…not forced…he hadn't been forced to do *that*.

Denethor had raped him -- this was nothing new. He had been raping Faramir 
for years, but his ultimate shame, and this Denethor knew, were the times 
Faramir became aroused from the stimulation of *something* inside of him. 
Despite all of the pain and revulsion he would harden until he was aching for 
release, which was never granted. 

This time instead of using his hands, Denethor had used some type of leather 
cording to prevent his son’s release. As Denethor had finished himself he had 
drawn away roughly and shoved Faramir face first to the cold marble floor. 

 "Get out, worthless boy!" he barked, pulling his dark robes closed. 

Faramir swallowed the bile that rose in his throat and had finally managed to get 
to his feet. Jerking his breeches up and hurriedly pulling on his torn tunic he 
made his way out of the study and into a small antechamber, far away from his 
father's prying eyes. There he would face his ultimate shame alone. 
 
The pain in both his back from the lash and deep within him from his father's 
rough treatment almost sent him back to his knees. Tears stung at his eyes as 
those things coupled with the painful lack of release. Leaning against the wall to 
brace his shaking limbs and marring the white surface with bold red stripes his 
shaking hands went to the leather wrapped around him.

Releasing his bound arousal he bit back a scream, and needed only two quick 
strokes to take himself over the edge and relief from the pain of long denied 
completion. After a few moments he wiped a blood stained hand across his face 
and gathered himself. He would need the privacy of his chamber for only a 
moment, to gather fresh clothes and make his way for the bathhouse.  

Bringing his thoughts back to the present Faramir managed to push himself up 
from the floor. He wanted a bath...always afterwards he *needed* a bath, but he 
did not want to ask the servants. They would know what had happened, they 
suspected anyway he was sure. Now that he was older, and a Captain in 
Gondor's Army he carefully hid what went on between himself and his father. 
Not even Boromir knew, he knew they did not get along, but he did not know 
all of what Faramir had endured since childhood. //Childhood. As if I ever had 
one.//  

Slowly he gathered clean clothing and made his way for the public baths 
knowing that during this time of evening no one would be about them and he 
could take his time. Time to try and wash the taint from his body if not from his 
soul.  

As he walked his mind drifted back to Haldir. The Elf was so beautiful and 
perfect, that Faramir felt his even being close to the beautiful creature would 
some how taint him. He had been drawn by his sparkling eyes and his beauty 
but also his soft voice, and patient demeanor. Even when his father had been 
terribly unreasonable Haldir had been unruffled and stayed his course. Then 
again not everyone cowered to Denethor...only Faramir did. He gathered his 
things close and slowly walked toward the baths. He would have liked to run 
there, but his body simply ached too much.  
 
Once inside the bathhouse, Faramir checked the other chambers making sure it 
was deserted and as quickly as he was physically able to he stripped and 
grabbed a cloth and cake of soap. 

Hissing softly as he lowered into the steaming water he began scrubbing at his 
skin. Dunking his entire body under the water he scrubbed his hair over and 
over again trying to remove the scent of his father from his body. Attempting to 
remove his touch the only way that he knew. He scrubbed his entire body until 
it was red and raw and still he continued, wishing to wash everything away. He 
wished that he could also scrub his memory away.

~~~

Haldir found it difficult to concentrate on the food during Denethor’s farce of a 
dinner.  As expected, the steward had made no effort to offer the Elves any of 
their usual fare, and Haldir and his brothers were forced to pick at strange and 
unknown meats and soups that were served to them by timid servants who 
simply sat the dishes down and left as quickly as possible, unwilling to speak to 
their Elven guests, or even look them in the eyes. But the food wasn't what was 
distracting Haldir. He'd looked for Faramir throughout the evening, hoping to 
speak with him again. Or, he admitted to himself, at least see those startling blue 
eyes once more, or the mesmerizing smile that Haldir knew he'd not soon 
forget. He wouldn’t admit that to anyone, but he knew it was true.  Faramir had 
stirred something deep within him…something that Haldir hadn’t even known 
existed until he’d looked upon the young captain.  He would be powerless if 
ever Faramir asked anything of him – of this he had no doubt.  He’d never felt 
anything like this strange sensation in the pit of his stomach when their eyes had 
met…he had no idea what it meant, but he’d give anything to feel it again.  

Haldir tried to hide his disappointment as the meal ended and Denethor stood. 
//Does Faramir so detest our presence that he cannot bear to share a meal with 
us? Or does he prefer to eat alone? Not that I would blame him - Denethor is not 
the most entertaining of hosts at his best, I'd wager. Still….I had hoped…// 
Haldir pushed his plate away and nodded toward his brothers, who told him 
they were going to explore the lower levels of the city. Declining their invitation 
to join them, he decided to talk a walk by himself, hoping some fresh air would 
clear his mind. Or give him time to dwell on his new friend for a while longer. 
Choosing one of the more secluded paths, he was soon walking silently down 
the deserted hallways, not wishing to speak to anyone except Faramir - and that, 
apparently, was not going to happen.
 

Haldir wandered the halls aimlessly for over half an hour, unable to think of 
anything but the steward’s youngest son.  He tried not to dwell on what these 
feelings were….he didn’t pretend to understand them, he only knew that he 
wanted to know more about the young man with the haunted blue eyes.  He 
rounded a corner quietly, sensing the presence of someone in the next room. He 
started to turn back, but he found the almost irresistible desire to see who was 
behind the stone wall.  Quietly peering around the doorway, he felt his stomach 
clench at the sight that met his eyes. A young man sat in the pool in a darkened 
corner, but Haldir's keen Elven eyes could make out scores of deep bruises and 
reddened skin on the man's back and shoulders. And even more disconcerting, 
the man was frantically rubbing his arms and chest and every other inch of skin 
on his already reddened and abused body. 

Haldir inched forward, his heart aching as he heard low, strangled sobs that 
seemed to echo off the walls. The hair, the profile, even the timid slump of the 
shoulders seemed familiar. "Faramir?" he whispered softly, approaching the 
pool and revealing himself, unsure whether or not the young man could even 
hear him. 

Faramir startled as he heard a voice softly whisper his name, the sliver of soap 
flying from his hand to splash into the murky water. He hadn't realized he'd 
nearly used the entire thing. Looking up slowly his shame was evident as he slid 
further down into the deep pool suppressing a wince as the water burned his raw 
skin he had only now noticed. 

"Haldir?" he asked confused, wondering why he was here and not still with his 
father. Normally visiting diplomats were treated to some sort of entertainment. 
Was his father's hatred of the Elves so much that he couldn't even entertain them 
properly? Sighing softly his eyes dropped back to the pool surrounding him, 
now cloudy from overuse of soap. 

"Mellonamin, (my friend) what are you doing?" Haldir asked softly, kneeling 
beside the pool and gingerly reaching out to touch Faramir's shoulder, without 
even thinking twice. "I was looking for you in the dining hall. I'd hoped to find 
you….but not like this… What happened to you, Faramir?"

Unable to shift away from the soft touch Faramir shook his head, "I...I did not 
feel like eating," he whispered softly. He could not explain what he was doing; 
he hadn't even realized he had spent so long this time. If Haldir had not arrived 
when he did, Faramir wondered if he even would have stopped had he began to 
bleed? "I...was...I needed...a bath," he said unable to offer any further 
explanation. 

Haldir studied Faramir for a moment. Even though the pale skin on his face and 
neck had been rubbed raw, he was still lovely. The redness on his chest and 
arms only made the multitude of angry bruises more noticeable, but his eyes 
were utterly mesmerizing to the Silvan Elf. "I think you are clean, Mellonamin," 
he said with a soft smile. 

Spotting a pile of soft-looking robes stacked along one wall, Haldir rose and 
grabbed the one closest to him. "Come with me?" he asked as he unfolded the 
robe and held it up, trying to entice the young man into leaving the water. "Let 
me help you back to your rooms? You look as if you need some rest - not 
another bath." 

Faramir stared up at the elegant Elf and wondered why he was wasting his time 
with someone like him? He swallowed down any protest he might have had as 
he found himself entranced by a beautiful smile. Slowly he rose up from the 
bath and allowed Haldir to help him with the robe feeling ashamed of the marks 
he knew were already dark on his body. 

Swallowing the lump in this throat, Haldir tried not to wince as he saw the 
bruises that colored Faramir's skin seemingly from head to toe. He couldn't help 
but wonder how the young man managed to walk, as it seemed no part of his 
body was free of the deep bruises and welts.  He gently wrapped the robe over 
Faramir’s shoulders and pulled the front closed, trying to keep the fabric from 
chafing already raw skin.  For the very first time in his long life, the Elf felt the 
urge to simply wrap his arms around another…wanted to hold him gently and 
assure him that no one would ever hurt him again; to kiss away the pain that 
furrowed the young brow.  //By the Valar, what is wrong with me?!  I don’t 
*kiss*…and I certainly don’t *hold*!!//

"Thank you," Faramir said softly as he tied the robe. "You...you shouldn't be 
here wasting your time with me. I can find my rooms on my own," he 
whispered not wanting to take anymore of Haldir's time.

Haldir couldn't help but wonder if perhaps Faramir had a lover who enjoyed 
those kinds of games - games that had obviously gone too far, if that were the 
case. Maybe that was why he didn't want Haldir to accompany him back to his 
rooms? But what kind of lover would do this, then leave the bruised and 
battered young one all alone to fend for himself? 

"Why are you here anyway? I would think you'd still be in the dining hall for 
the nights entertainment?" Faramir asked as he moved to a bench and picked up 
his clothing, which he planned to burn later. 

"I…." Haldir began, and then hesitated, not wanting to seem to forward. But it 
was not within him to lie, so he continued. "I was hoping to find you," he said 
simply, surprised at himself even as he watched Faramir's face for any sign of 
annoyance at his statement. "I wanted to see you again. I hope I have not 
offended you?"

Faramir's eyes widened when Haldir said he had been looking for him. 
"You...you wanted to see me?" he asked surprised. "I...no...no I'm not 
offended...though I am confused. Why would you want to look for me?" 
Faramir asked truly confused by the Elf’s presence. 

Obviously he still thinks I have some sort of sway with father, Faramir thought 
bleakly. Even though Haldir and the other Elves were right, no one would 
convince his father of that; no one except Boromir. "When my brother returns 
from Rohan you need to speak with him, he will get my father to see reason. I 
cannot...you must realize my council means nothing to him. I am the youngest, 
and…and the lesser son. Ask anyone you meet here and they will tell you that." 

Haldir stared at Faramir, confusion evident in his eyes. "Lesser son?" he 
repeated, the words feeling strange and dirty on his tongue. "I….Faramir, 
please. Don't say that. You seem determined to make me talk to your brother. I 
wish only to get to know you better. If I am coming across as too forceful, I 
apologize, but I care nothing about meeting your brother, or, for that matter, 
your father anytime in the near future. If you wish for me to leave you alone, I 
will do so, but I did not seek you for your council. I only sought you for your 
friendship and companionship.  Do you wish for me to leave you alone?" he 
asked quietly.

Faramir had not intended for Haldir to take his urging him to speak with 
Boromir that way. Hanging his head he shook it slowly. "No...no I believe it is I 
who is confused,” he smiled half heartedly, “I...why? Why seek me out for 
friendship or companionship when there is nothing to be gained from it? I 
cannot help your cause...only hurt it and while I would be happy to be your 
friend," he paused and looked up at the beautiful Elf standing before him, "I am 
not worthy of that station." 

Haldir's breath seemed caught in his chest as Faramir smiled at him, but the 
words that fell from the beautiful lips pierced his heart. "Faramir," Haldir said 
softly, wishing he could reach out and somehow touch him without causing him 
pain. "I think you have no idea of your real worth - no idea at all. I do not wish 
to 'gain' anything but your friendship, and I would offer mine in return, if you 
would accept such an offer.  I do not offer this lightly, as I truly do not have any 
friends…nor do I normally wish to.  But if you do choose to accept, I would like 
to help you back to your rooms. I…I saw the bruises, and know you must be in 
pain. I would like to help you."

Feeling his eyes well with tears, Faramir looked away as the Elf said that he saw 
his bruises, he had already known he had, but hearing it made him feel even 
more ashamed. Keeping his voice as steady as possible he nodded, "I would like 
that...thank you, Haldir," he said softly. He couldn't believe Haldir...an Elf, 
would wish to spend time with him. Be his...friend. 

Haldir smiled and placed a gentle hand on Faramir's arm, a gesture that could 
*not* have been more foreign him. "Thank you," he whispered softly, wanting 
to ask a thousand questions but worried that he'd sever their newly formed 
friendship before it even got off the ground.  He wasn’t even sure how 
friendship worked….he didn’t remember ever having a true friend….at least not 
since he was a very small Elfling, and that had been many millennia ago.  "How 
can I help you?" he asked. "I don't want to cause you any more pain. You can 
lean on me, or….I can hold on to you. Gently of course."

Faramir took an experimental step and hissed under his breath. Closing his eyes 
in shame and pain he nodded again. "Could...would you put your arm around 
my waist? I did not realize it was this bad," he said the last almost to himself. 

He was loathe to ask this beautiful being to even touch someone as impure as he 
was, but Faramir doubted his ability to make it all the way back to his room on 
his own. Before he had been driven by the need to be clean but now he only 
wanted to curl up into a ball and weep. His muscles screamed and his lower 
body felt as if it were on fire. Father hadn't been this rough with him in a long, 
long time...though it had been a long time since Boromir was scheduled to be 
away for a long period of time. As long as father was safe from Boromir 
discovering what was going on, then he would continue this way until a few 
days before he was to return. Giving Faramir's body time to heal before he 
arrived. 

Haldir unhesitatingly slid an arm around Faramir's waist, supporting him 
carefully, and wishing once again that he could simply wrap his arms around the 
young man and take all his pain away.  The feeling was a first for him…yet that 
simple fact didn’t make it any less real.  He wanted to help….and to touch him.

 "I have some salve that may help with the pain a bit," Haldir said, unable to 
fathom why anyone would hurt such a beautiful and caring young man, and 
wincing each time Faramir closed his eyes in pain. "I'll get you settled, then 
gather it from my room. Are…Faramir, are you sure you can walk?"

At Haldir's question Faramir laughed softly and shook his head, "I'm not sure 
about anything these days," he attempted to joke as his own arm slipped around 
Haldir's waist to try and steady himself against his new friend. He didn't 
understand why Haldir even cared, but he couldn't help finding himself glad that 
he did. 

Haldir enjoyed the feel of Faramir's arm around his waist - even if it was only 
for support for a friend in need. As they slowly made their way to Faramir's 
rooms, the Elf had to bite his tongue to keep from asking his companion who 
did this to him, and why Denethor allowed anyone to lay a hand on his youngest 
son in the first place. //First things first. Let's get him comfortable….as 
comfortable as he can be in this condition anyway…then maybe he'll talk to 
me.// 

When they finally reached Faramir's door, Haldir hesitated. "May I enter your 
rooms, Faramir?" he asked softly. "Or is someone waiting in there for your 
return? Someone who would not take kindly to seeing you with me?"

Faramir startled at the question, "No, no one is here, please...please come in. I 
am sorry I can't be much of a host," he said softly as Haldir's hand pushed the 
door open. 

Stumbling slightly as they entered the room he whispered, "Give me just a 
moment," Faramir said weakly as the walk from the lower levels of the city had 
caught up with him. He hated feeling this way, this weak, and he could hear his 
father's derisive words echoing in his mind. Cutting words, his father’s voice 
calling him worthless, telling him that no one will ever love him except he and 
Boromir. 

Haldir's hold on Faramir tightened when he stumbled. He turned, sliding his free 
arm underneath the young man's legs, and lifted him effortlessly. Cradling 
Faramir carefully against his chest, he kicked the door shut behind him and 
smiled down at the shocked blue eyes that looked up at him through a haze of 
pain and surprise. "Don’t argue with me, please, mellonamin," Haldir said 
softly. "There is no shame in accepting help from a friend." 

Faramir's mouth opened only to snap shut again. He hadn't been carried this way 
by anyone in years. Boromir was the last to do so when he was twelve and had 
been thrown from a horse. He wrapped his arms around Haldir's neck and rested 
his cheek against his chest hearing the strong heartbeat under his ear. It 
somehow soothed his weary soul to hear it. 

As the strong Elf moved across the room cradling him gently against his chest, 
Faramir closed his eyes and suddenly realized everything he knew had changed 
in an instant. Breathing in the scent of Haldir’s hair, his heart skipped a beat. 
This was what he had dreamed of. The feelings moving through his heart of 
being cared for like none other. Haldir was simply being what he was, a good 
and kind soul and Faramir was quickly losing his heart to the handsome blond 
Elf. 

Faramir felt awkward as his new friend carried him into the room and gently 
laid him down on his bed. His face flushed red when his eyes locked with 
Haldir's shining blue eyes and he realized that he had not yet let go of his hold 
on the Elf. "Sorry," he murmured releasing him quickly and looking away. He 
truly wished to cling to him, to hold onto someone who did not want something 
from him, and who did not care for him out of duty. Someone who had chosen 
to befriend him. 

Haldir reached out to gently brush a lock of hair from Faramir's forehead before 
he even realized what he was doing. "There is nothing to be sorry for," he 
smiled, pulling his hand back to rest on the covers, and already regretting the 
loss of holding Faramir so close. 

"Try and make yourself comfortable, and I will return shortly with something to 
ease your pain and let you sleep peacefully." Taking one of Faramir's hands in 
his own, Haldir squeezed it gently. "I will return quickly, if you will allow me to 
invade the privacy of your rooms once again."

"Of course," Faramir smiled softly enjoying the feel of Haldir's hand wrapped 
around his own. Enjoying it too much in fact, as he felt his heart skip in his 
chest once more. Could one fall in love so easily? Or was he mistaking 
appreciation for something more? He shifted in the bed and tried to focus his 
thoughts elsewhere but they kept returning to how it felt being held by his new 
friend. Haldir felt...safe...a feeling that Faramir had only ever felt with his 
brother. "No need to rush, I don't believe I'll be hurrying off to sword practice 
anytime soon," he grinned hoping to see Haldir’s beautiful smile again. 

Haldir laughed, admiring Faramir for his sense of humor even when he had to 
be in such pain. "I shall hold you to that," he smiled, giving Faramir's hand 
another squeeze, then standing up slowly. 

Gently placing Faramir’s hand back on the bed, the Silvan Elf crossed the room 
and opened the door. “I will return shortly, mellonamin."   That was a word he 
seldom used…so seldom he’d sometimes wondered if he remembered what it 
meant.  But it fit…he did want to be Faramir’s friend.  At the very least.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With a final smile back at Faramir, Haldir hurried back to his room, relieved to 
see that his brothers had yet to return from their walk. He found himself 
dreading coming back here - whether his brothers returned or not. Being with 
Faramir made Haldir feel peaceful and relaxed in a way he’d never felt in his 
life, and he wanted nothing more than to make Faramir feel the same way.  He 
could sense that Faramir needed a friend almost as badly as Haldir did himself.

Haldir's laughter made Faramir feel inordinately more relaxed and happy than 
one in his condition should be, and he smiled as his new friend left, promising 
to soon return. Lying back against his pillow he stared at the ceiling 
wonderingly as he thought about Haldir. The fact that the Elf even wanted to be 
near him, especially after seeing the marks on his body was bewildering, and 
touching, and it was wreaking havoc on his emotions. //I cannot be falling in 
love with him, we only just met, this has to be some sort of misplaced 
gratitude.// Closing his eyes he thought about how it had felt to be held in the 
strong yet gentle arms. How could anyone built so powerfully be so gentle? 
Faramir was not a small man, yet Haldir carried him as if he were a child.  

When the door opened slowly a few minutes later and shining long blond hair 
flashed in the flickering candlelight, Faramir smiled, his thoughts abruptly 
halting as Haldir moved back into the chamber. 

"Hello again," Faramir whispered as the Elf approached his bed. For the first 
time in a long time, someone had managed to keep him from dwelling on 
hurtful things. Instead he had thought about Haldir. His gentleness, and his 
strength… and Faramir wondered briefly what it would feel like to press his lips 
against those smiling back at him.

Haldir thought that, without question, Faramir's smile was the most beautiful 
smile he’d ever seen in his life. He couldn't help but wonder why he didn't smile 
more often, then remembered the bruises and scars. And the way Faramir had 
been scrubbing at his already red and raw skin as he'd sat in the pool. 

"See," he smiled, focusing on the sparkling blue eyes and pushing the dark 
thoughts from his mind. "I said I would not be long, and Elves never lie. At 
least, the Lorien Elves never do." Hoping to get a laugh from Faramir, Haldir 
quickly set the salve and herbs on the bedside table and sat next to him on the 
bed.

Faramir laughed as Haldir implied other Elves might lie, remembering 
Mithrandir's lessons and shook his head in disbelief. 

"Will you let me tend to your wounds, Faramir?" Haldir asked softly. "I will be 
as gentle as possible.  I know it will still hurt, but I believe they do need to be 
treated…and I think it will help with the pain."

Watching Haldir set the salve and herbs beside the bed Faramir nodded slowly. 
"If...if you don't mind, I think it would help. I honestly hadn't realized it was this 
bad this time," he said softly not realizing his admission that this had happened 
before.  



"This time?" Haldir said, raising an eyebrow. "This has happened before then. 
Who did this to you, Faramir? Who would hurt someone so beautiful?"  As his 
last words escaped, Haldir struggled not to blush.  He’d never called anyone 
beautiful before, but the words fell easily from his lips as he looked at the young 
captain beside him.

Faramir's eyes widened, "Beautiful? I thought you said Lorien Elves did not 
lie," he scoffed trying to avoid the question. 

Haldir reached out and gently grabbed Faramir's hand. "We do not lie," he said 
firmly. "You are beautiful. Even if you do not yet realize it, you are, Faramir. 
But if you are simply avoiding my question, then I will not press it further. 
Make yourself as comfortable as you can, and I will see to your wounds, and 
speak no more of it. Tonight. But I will not give up on this, my friend. I cannot 
stand by and see you hurt like this again if it is against your will."

"I'm sorry, Haldir. I...yes, this has happened before... more times than I can 
count though this is one of the worst. He was...agitated," Faramir said softly 
never having spoken to anyone of this before. "When Boromir returns it will 
stop, so I have been counting the days praying that he might come home earlier 
than expected." He looked away from the Elf's open gaze and shook his head. 
"I'm afraid there is nothing that will change it." 

Haldir's heart dropped at Faramir's words. He'd heard the guards talking earlier 
and knew that Faramir's brother would be gone for several more weeks due to 
rumors of orcs on the outer borders of the city.  His words were a shock even to 
himself, yet again the words fell so naturally from his lips.  "I will stay with you 
until your brother returns," he murmured before he even realized what he had 
planned to say. "That is…if you will allow me the pleasure of your company, 
Faramir. As I said, I simply cannot go about my life and my duties, knowing 
that someone is doing this to you - is hurting you on purpose, and that no one in 
all of Gondor is able….or willing…to put a stop to it."

Faramir was startled by Haldir's words. //Stay with me?// "But...you are only 
here for the negotiations...I thought you were returning in a few days?" Faramir 
asked stunned. "I cannot ask you to stay...and...I cannot guarantee your presence 
will change anything... obviously the Elves being in Gondor did not stop them 
today," he added slowly. Haldir couldn't stay... could he? Could his being here 
actually impede his father’s attentions? Faramir doubted it. 

Haldir squeezed Faramir's hand and gently let his thumb rub over the young 
man's knuckles.  He’d never willingly held another’s hand, and the only time 
he’d touched anyone was to take what he wanted…not brutally, but as 
unfeelingly as possible, and seldom worrying about his partner’s satisfaction.  
"Faramir," he said, catching the young man's gaze and holding it, "I can accept 
that you do not wish to tell me who has hurt you. We barely know each other, 
and I understand your reluctance. But I can already see that the negotiations 
with your father will not end happily. I can send my brothers back to Lorien 
alone. It was my wish to take my time in returning. Our borders are safe, and 
there are plenty left to guard My Lord and Lady. As for my presence changing 
anything…I would dearly like to see anyone try to lay a hand on you while I am 
in Gondor. I assure you, they will not succeed. While it is true my presence 
today did not change anything, that is only because I did not know of 
this…abuse earlier. If you allow me to stay, you shall have some weeks free of 
pain and your wounds can heal. And when your brother returns, I will leave you 
in peace and return to my home." 

"You would do that for me? But...you don't even know me, Haldir. What if I 
truly deserved this? I am not saying I did but you have no way of knowing that," 
Faramir said softly though selfishly he relished the Elf's touch on his hand and 
chided himself. //He's only offering what he feels is the right thing; he doesn't 
care about you. He's just doing what is right in his mind. Nothing more and 
nothing less. You aren't worthy of him, stop feeling that this could be more than 
what it is.//

"I would do this for you this very night, if you will allow it," Haldir whispered. 
"Faramir, I *know* you did nothing to deserve this. I see nothing but beauty 
and strength in your eyes. Nothing to make you deserve even a harsh word, and 
certainly nothing to make anyone raise a hand to you, or cause you any pain." 
Encasing Faramir's hand between both of his own, Haldir studied the young 
man's face. "Will you allow me to stay, Faramir? To help you?"  //Please pen 
velui.  Let me help you.  I don’t know why, but I *need* to do this.//

Unable to find his voice Faramir struggled to swallow past the lump in his 
throat and whispered shakily, "Yes, please." He wanted to believe Haldir...but 
after years and years of being told that you did not deserve happiness, that no 
one cared for you…that you were weak...it was hard to believe otherwise. 
Haldir's kind eyes and honest smile were already making it difficult to keep up 
the argument even with himself. "Please stay," he found himself whispering as 
he looked up into his new friend's eyes. 

Haldir released Faramir's hand and carefully wrapped his arms around the 
young man, pulling him as close as he dared without hurting him.   Never in his 
long years had he wanted to hold someone, to keep them safe, to ‘touch’ 
anyone…yet here he was, cradling Faramir close and as gently as one would 
hold a lover.  //What is happening to me? How has he invaded my every thought 
without even trying?  Why is his mere presence having such an affect over 
me?//  "You are safe, Faramir," he whispered, resting his cheek on top of 
Faramir's head and breathing in the scent of his hair. "From this moment on, as 
long as you will allow me to stay with you, no one will harm you. You have my 
word." Smiling, Haldir leaned back slightly and tilted Faramir's face up until 
their gazes met. "And remember, mellonamin, I never lie."

Faramir felt warmth flood through him as Haldir pulled him close, that same 
feeling of security he had as the Elf had carried him. //Safe.// As Haldir drew 
away Faramir smiled, "I remember...I'll always remember," he said softly as his 
eyes stared into those of his friend. His heart seemed to skip in his chest as he 
looked into his sparkling eyes, Haldir’s lips mere inches away from his own. 
Faramir nearly gasped when that thought crossed his mind and he broke his 
gaze with Haldir finally looking away. 

Haldir jumped when Faramir turned away so abruptly, realizing that he had just 
been thinking about kissing the man he'd just sworn to protect. He wanted to 
take care of Faramir, but he found himself wanting to touch him, to keep him 
safe, to..….//No. Don't even think of that. He needs protection. He needs an 
ally. I can protect him, but I do not truly know how to be his friend…yet I 
cannot bear the thoughts of anyone hurting him.  The last thing he needs right 
now is someone to push themselves on him…someone who would have kissed 
him if he'd had only a moment more of being close to those full, soft lips. Who 
would….no. No!// "I’m sorry, Faramir," Haldir said softly, releasing the young 
man from his embrace. //By the Valar, what is wrong with me??//  "I did not 
mean to….to push myself on you. I would never do that against your will. 
Just…just untie your robe, and lie back so I can tend to your wounds."

Faramir closed his eyes briefly and then turned to look at Haldir, "No...no you 
didn't push yourself on me...I...I thought it too," he defended. He couldn't let 
Haldir think he was alone in his thoughts. "We...we were just so 
close...probably only natural," Faramir said laying back against the pillow. It 
wasn't a very good excuse, but what did he know of such things? The only 
experiences he had ever had were all with *him*. 

Faramir swallowed hard and tried to smile at the worried Elf. "It is alright," he 
whispered slipping the knot of his robe. He felt embarrassed but quickly 
struggled out of the robe keeping it about his waist as he rolled onto his side. 
Most all of the injuries were on his back and hips, so he faced the wall and 
waited.  

Haldir almost told Faramir that he *wanted* to kiss him - and not just because 
they were close. Before he could get the words out, Faramir untied his robe and 
rolled over, causing Haldir to bite his lip to keep from gasping at the countless 
deep scars and dark bruises, both old and new. And his skin was still red from 
the bath, telling the Silvan Elf that Faramir must have been scrubbing long 
before he'd arrived and stopped him. He reached over for the salve and applied 
it generously to his fingers, moving closer to Faramir as he lay across the bed, 
determined not to press his new friend for more information on who would be 
cruel enough to cause him such unwarranted pain, though he was dying to 
know. "I will try not to hurt you," Haldir said softly as his fingers brushed over 
the angriest of the welts. "If you need me to stop, tell me, and I will do so at 
once."  He applied the salve carefully, with a tenderness he did not even know 
he possessed, and winced each time he saw the slight tensing of muscles in 
Faramir’s back when he touched a particularly sensitive wound.  

Faramir bit his lip from the sting but shook his head, "I'm fine. You won't hurt 
me," he whispered softly. For some reason he couldn't fathom he truly believed 
those words, Haldir would never hurt him. 

After some time of feeling gentle touches moving over his injuries, Faramir 
relaxed. As Haldir worked on his lower back he felt the robe being pushed 
slightly lower and tensed a little having to force himself to stay relaxed. He 
closed his eyes and tried to focus on Haldir's fingers, the smell of his hair, the 
warmth he had felt when they were close. 
 
Haldir continued his ministrations until all the exposed wounds had been 
treated.  He’d pulled the robe down until the cleft of Faramir's backside would 
be exposed if he moved it any further. "May I continue?" he whispered past the 
lump in his throat, unwilling to expose Faramir further without his consent.

The salve did sting at first but afterwards it felt soothing on his abraded skin. 
Faramir nervously swallowed when Haldir questioned him, "Yes," he whispered 
softly.  

Carefully sliding the robe further down, Haldir's eyes swam with tears as he saw 
the damage that had been done to Faramir's lower body. "By the Valar, 
Faramir," he swore softly, "who would be heartless enough to do this?" Afraid 
his words had embarrassed the man lying before him, he bit his tongue, laid a 
soothing hand over one of the few areas not marked by a new bruise or welt and 
continued, not giving Faramir a chance to answer. "Relax, Pen velui," (lovely 
one) he whispered, gently blowing over each welt as it was covered with salve, 
hoping to relieve the stinging he knew must be present on the fresher wounds. 
"Relax. I will be finished in just a moment."

Faramir's hand clutched at the bedclothes but he did not utter a sound as Haldir 
tended to the worst of his injuries. After what seemed an eternity he felt the robe 
being pulled back up covering him as best as Haldir could considering his 
position. 

"Thank you," he whispered as he heard Haldir resealing the bottle of salve. He 
lay still for a few moments and then spoke softly. "Where...will you sleep here 
with me?" he asked hesitantly. 

Haldir smiled and leaned back against the headboard, opening his arms to 
Faramir.  Never in his life had he spent an entire night with anyone, making it a 
point to summon someone to his talan when he needed relief and immediately 
ordering them to leave as soon as the relief was satisfied.  But it didn’t even 
occur to him to deny Faramir’s request.  "I would be honored to sleep here with 
you," he smiled, wondering why his arms should suddenly ache to hold the 
young man beside him. "Will you rest against me, Faramir?”

Faramir slid up the bed carefully into Haldir's waiting arms and rested his head 
against his muscular chest. Hearing the Elf's strong heartbeat under his ear once 
again made him smile. "Again, thank you my friend," he whispered sleepily.

“You are most welcome,” Haldir smiled, carefully pulling the blankets over 
them both and wrapping his arms around Faramir.  “Let me watch over you 
tonight as you sleep and when we awake, we will think of a way to keep you 
safe. I would like to watch over you every night that I am here, if you will allow 
it. The darkest of hearts will find mischief deep in the night, and I would have 
no harm come to you while I lie sleeping in another room."

The events of the day had caught up with Faramir and the feeling of warmth and 
safety within Haldir's gentle embrace soothed him. "Sleep well," he said softly 
as he yawned and curled even closer to the warm body next to his own. 
Unconsciously his hand moved up to tangle in the soft golden tresses spilling 
over Haldir's shoulder as Faramir slipped into sleep. The simple action seemed 
to relax him even further into his sleep.

Haldir supressed a small smile as gentle fingers tangled in his hair.  He'd 
snapped at many an Elf who'd dared touch him in such a familiar manner, yet 
tonight, with Faramir, he found it soothing.  It just seemed....*right*.  In fact, he 
mused, everything about holding Faramir seemed right.  //By the Valar!  What's 
gotten into me?// With his arms wrapped securely around the sleepy young man, 
Haldir smiled and pulled him closer. "Sleep well," he whispered, lifting one 
hand to gently brush the hair back from Faramir's temple. He withdrew his hand 
quickly, as soon as he realized what he was doing, and blushed furiously, but 
Faramir’s eyes were already closed, and he hoped the young man hadn’t 
noticed.  Studying the peaceful face resting against him, Haldir finally forced 
himself to look away, staring at the door as if daring anyone to enter and disturb 
Faramir's sleep.  He had no idea why he was suddenly, unaccountably, feeling 
so protective of someone he’d only met a few hours earlier, but he’d meant it 
when he said he would allow no harm to come to the young captain.  He could 
wonder about the hows and whys later…right now, he found that he only 
wanted to relax and enjoy the feeling of holding someone for the first time in his 
life.  Slowly, his eyes closed and he drifted off to sleep, yet his hold on Faramir 
did not lessen, and he stirred each time he heard an unfamiliar noise, 
automatically pulling Faramir closer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haldir awoke several hours later, more rested and content than he could ever 
remember being.  The room was cool, and he'd nestled down in the bed with 
Faramir, still holding him close.  The young man's cheek rested on Haldir's 
chest, and the marchwarden took the opportunity to study his friend's face.  The 
lines of worry were no longer around Faramir's eyes, and he looked as if he'd 
slept peacefully.  His skin was no longer an angry red, and looked pale and 
perfect in the morning sunlight.  

Never before had the Silvan Elf awoken to another’s touch, and certainly never 
to the feel of a warm body against his own.  It was well known in Lorien that 
Haldir *never* had overnight guests…and he certainly never stayed anywhere 
other than his own talan.  He smiled and lifted one hand to gently brush the hair 
back from Faramir's forehead, marveling at how soft it felt between his fingers, 
and not drawing away in embarrassment as he had the night before.  //I don’t 
know what has come over me, but I can’t seem to help myself.//  His own hair 
was still wrapped securely around Faramir’s fingers, and Haldir couldn’t help 
but feel touched at the unconscious gesture of trust.    Allowing himself a 
moment of indulgence, he let his fingers card gently through the shoulder length 
ginger colored hair and sighed contentedly.  //You are so beautiful, Faramir.  
Fairer then the Elves, and purer than any creature on Arda.//

Faramir felt trapped between sleep and wakefulness. He felt warm, and safe, 
much like he would when he would awaken next to Boromir when they were 
children and one of them had a nightmare. Odd that he didn't recall nightmares 
the night before, he didn't recall anything but peaceful sleep. That feeling 
of...contentment was a very rare thing for him since reaching adulthood. He felt 
a soft touch moving through his hair and he snuggled closer to the source of 
heat. As the last vestiges of sleep finally slipped away he realized he was in his 
own bed, and the warm body holding him so gently was not his brother. 
//Haldir.// The Elf truly had stayed the entire night with him, protecting his 
dreams. 

"Haldir?" he whispered his voice still husky with sleep as he tilted his head to 
look up into beautiful eyes sparkling from the morning sun creeping through the 
chamber.

Haldir's heart skipped a beat as Faramir awoke and slowly turned his head to 
look at him, happy beyond words that the young man didn’t tense and pull away 
when he realized he had shared his bed with an Elf.  "Good morning, pen velui," 
Haldir smiled, quickly moving his hand away from Faramir's hair and wrapping 
his arm back about him.  "I trust you slept well?"

Faramir smiled and nodded "That is the first time I have slept a whole night in a 
very long time. Thank you for guarding my dreams," he whispered softly. He 
was loath to leave the comfort of those arms, but he had duties to attend to and 
it would do him no good to be late today. Waiting a few more moments he 
steeled himself to sit up knowing his muscles would be aching once he did. 
Finally, he sat up and his forehead creased in pain, though the pain was nothing 
compared to what it had been the night before.

Haldir sat up and placed a gently restraining hand on Faramir's arm.  "Let me 
apply more salve and help you get dressed before you attend to your duties?" he 
asked, hating to see this gentle man in any pain at all, but knowing there was 
little else he could do.  "Perhaps I can loosen the muscles a bit to ease your 
pain?"

Faramir shook his head, "You have already done so much," he said guiltily still 
barely able to believe this stunning creature had stayed...had wanted to be his 
friend. "If...if you are sure, I think it may help," he admitted softly.

"I’m quite sure," Haldir smiled, as he urged Faramir to lie on his stomach and 
carefully examined the young man's back once again.  The salve had helped, 
and the welts had lessened, but he knew the dark bruises that still colored 
Faramir's back would heal only with time.  Faramir had been relaxed in sleep, 
but either the pain from sitting up or the thoughts of the day ahead had caused 
him to tense up, knotting the muscles in his shoulders and back.  Applying the 
salve liberally over his hands, Haldir moved to sit beside Faramir and began to 
gently knead tight muscles, being careful to avoid the deepest bruises.  "I know 
you don’t wish to tell me who has harmed you," he said softly, "but I do hope 
you haven’t reconsidered your decision to let me help you.  Will you allow me 
to stay here and watch over you until your brother returns?" 

Faramir's cheek burrowed against the pillow slightly as Haldir's hands began to 
move across his injured back gently. "I have not reconsidered your offer...but I 
will not ask you to do so. I would not impose upon you that way," Faramir said 
softly feeling the tightness at the base of his neck beginning to lessen with each 
gentle press and knead from the Elf. 

"You have not asked anything of me, pen velui," Haldir said as he continued his 
ministrations.  "I offer myself to you freely.  If this…..this coward tries to lay a 
finger on you, I would ask that you tell him that you are under my protection.  
Tell him…tell everyone…that you and I are more than friends.  That I have 
been honored enough to share your rooms, and that I will allow no harm to 
come to you.  Will you do that for me Faramir?  Will you let this black hearted 
demon know that you are no longer his to harm?"  Haldir told himself it made 
perfect sense.  To tell everyone in Gondor that he and Faramir were together 
would keep the Steward's son safe.  No one in Lorien would believe it, as they 
all knew Haldir didn’t *do* relationships, but they weren’t in Lorien.  Haldir’s 
brothers would do as Haldir bade them, and would not question him, not 
wanting to risk his wrath.  Haldir was not a violent Elf, but he was very set in 
his ways…and his business was his own, and no concern of anyone else, even 
his brothers.   

Best of all, Haldir knew, would be being able to hold Faramir during the night.  
It was never something he’d wanted before, and he still did not understand why 
it was so important to him now, but it was.  Holding the young captain during 
the night had brought Haldir the most peaceful rest he'd had in centuries, and he 
already looked forward to the coming evening, when he could wrap his arms 
around him once again.  It was an unusual feeling, but not entirely unwelcome.  
Somehow, without even trying, Faramir was breaking down the wall around his 
heart that he’d carefully built and maintained since he was a very young Elfling.  
And Haldir found that he didn’t mind….in fact, he welcomed this feeling, 
whatever it might be.

"I thought Lorien Elves never lied?" Faramir asked laughing softly. "It does 
make sense, and I suppose in some ways it is true, we are more than friends for I 
do not share my bed with my friends. No one has to know that it was only to 
sleep," he added hoping that his jest had not offended Haldir. His head sunk 
further into the pillows as Haldir's hands continued soothing his aches away. He 
wished that he didn't have to leave his room, but he could hear people stirring in 
the halls and outside his window and he knew that he would have to hurry to 
meet with his lieutenants.

Haldir laughed softly, yet another sound rarely heard from his lips, as he shook 
his head.  Running his hands lightly over Faramir's back, he let his fingertips 
gently soothe the last vestiges of tension away.  He found himself almost 
regretting that they shared a bed only to sleep, but doubted a man such as 
Faramir would ever desire to lie with an Elf in any other manner.  Doubtless, 
Faramir's heart belonged to someone else, and he was simply grateful for being 
offered the chance to live without pain until his brother returned.  "So we shall 
tell them that we are more than friends," he smiled, gently helping Faramir sit 
up and putting an arm around him to help him stand.  "And….I think it would 
help if we were seen together often.  If you have time to meet me for the noon 
meal, or the evening meal, or both, and can tolerate my nearness and my touch, 
we shall have all of Gondor believing us.  Unless," he teased, "you prefer one of 
my brothers?  Rumil is considered quite the catch back in the Golden Wood."

Faramir found that he loved the sound of Haldir's laughter and couldn't keep 
from smiling. As his friend helped him to stand on still somewhat unsteady legs, 
Faramir made his way slowly to a wardrobe and retrieved his clothing. His 
muscles were not nearly as stiff as before and he managed to get dressed with 
Haldir's aid. He felt odd allowing the Elf to help him dress, this was so far 
beneath his station and yet he stayed, caring for a mere man. "I do not mind 
your touch now, and I shall not mind it later," he answered softly as he laced his 
shirt. "And...I am quite happy with you, Haldir. I don't want one of your 
brothers." He felt funny saying those words because he honestly did not want 
them...but a part of him wanted Haldir for far more than a protector and friend.  
More than a part of him if he were truly being honest with himself.

Haldir adjusted Faramir's tunic and helped him to the door.  "And, I, pen velui, 
am quite happy with you," he smiled, leaning in and placing a soft kiss to 
Faramir's cheek before he realized what he was doing.  "Be safe," he murmured, 
turning away and trying to hide the blush that colored his face.  //Gods!  What is 
wrong with me?  I don’t *kiss*!!!  I just….don’t!!!!  And I certainly don’t want 
to be kissed!  Not by those, sweet, full lips….and I’m not dying to find out what 
it would feel like to explore every inch of his mouth, to see if he tastes as sweet 
as I imagine he would…And….oh by the Valar!  Shut UP! // "Send word if you 
have need of me, Faramir, or if anyone looks like they’re even *thinking* of 
harming you."

Faramir's eyes widened and he felt a silly grin spread across his face as Haldir 
pulled away from giving him a gentle chaste kiss. "I will. I will come find you 
for the noon meal," he said smiling happily. 

As he opened the door to his room he saw one of the servants carrying a stack of 
bed linens and on a whim reached back to take Haldir's hand pulling him 
through the doorway. Quickly he pressed his lips to the surprised Elf's. This 
particular servant he knew to be a terrible gossip, he knew once she rounded the 
corner the girl would practically fly to the wash rooms to tell the women there 
the tale of the young lord kissing a visiting Elf. 

When his lips lingered on Haldir's however, all thought of deception and 
servants fled his mind as soft lips moved against his own. Slowly his arms 
wound around Haldir's waist and he almost lost himself in the kiss. Pulling 
away abruptly, he whispered, "I'm sorry...I'll...I'll explain that later." Then he 
turned and made his way as quickly as he was able toward the barracks where 
his men were awaiting him.

Haldir watched as the young Lord hurried down the hall, and found that he 
couldn't stop smiling.  His fingers moved up to his lips, which were still tingling 
from Faramir's kiss.  He'd been too shocked to respond to the kiss the way he 
wanted to, but when Faramir's arms had wrapped around his waist, Haldir's eyes 
had fallen shut and his heart had started to pound.  And at that moment, Haldir, 
Marchwarden of Lorien, fell completely and utterly in love with Faramir, a 
captain of Gondor.

The Elf's fingers ran lightly over his lips as he stared after the retreating figure.  
//How can this be happening?  I…I am in love…in love with the most gentle 
and beautiful man on all of Arda!//  Leaning back against the door frame, he let 
his hand fall to his side and sighed.  //No one will believe this…I can hardly 
believe it myself.  I didn’t think I was capable of these feelings…but what else 
could this be?//
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Faramir looked down at his notes again and tried to remember where he'd last 
stopped counting. His mind kept slipping back to the hurried kiss he'd bestowed 
upon Haldir earlier. 

He had been distracted all morning with thoughts of the beautiful Elf, and had to 
re-count bed rolls several times. Normally his supply clerk would do this, but 
the soldier's wife had just had a baby so Faramir had granted him leave and 
instead of handing over the task to someone else, he took it upon himself to do 
it. He had to write a report for his father anyway, so he might as well just do the 
inventory himself. 

Looking back up from his notes he sighed softly. //Maybe I shouldn't have 
kissed him? It seemed like a good idea at the time...a perfect way to get the 
servants talking...but...But what if Haldir didn't appreciate someone like me 
kissing him?// Faramir ran his hand through his hair and gazed out the window 
of the supply room. //He couldn't have wanted to be kissed by someone like 
me...someone so far beneath him. I'll have to apologize when I see him 
again...IF I see him again. He may have decided this whole ruse was a bad idea 
now.//

***

Haldir was smiling as he strode down the hall to find Faramir.  He still wasn’t 
sure who they were putting on this show for, but he hoped whomever it was 
would be there to see that the Steward’s youngest son was *with* someone 
now.  Someone who would not take kindly to a single hair on Faramir’s head 
being harmed.  

He’d managed to postpone any further meetings with Denethor for a few days, 
but had talked with his advisors for most of the morning.  They had seemed a 
little more open to being allies with the Elves, but dared not speak too openly, 
obviously afraid of angering their Steward.  Haldir had tried to concentrate, but, 
to his surprise, found his mind wandering back to Faramir and the kiss they’d 
shared just before the young man had walked away.  Finally calling an end to 
the meeting, the Silvan Elf had hurried toward the training fields, eager to spend 
more time with his new friend.  //And eager to taste those lips again.  
Thoroughly, this time.//  In the back of his mind, he knew the kiss had simply 
been for the servant’s benefit – it was, after all, Haldir’s idea to let everyone 
think they were together – but he *had* enjoyed kissing the Faramir more than 
he believed possible.  Enjoyed it very  much, in fact.  Maybe too much.   He 
hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it all day.

Haldir stopped to ask one of the Rangers if he might know where their Captain 
could be found, and was pointed in the direction of the supply room.  Hurrying 
toward the door, he opened it quietly and his smile widened when he saw 
Faramir standing there, staring up at a shelf laden with bedrolls.  //Just as 
beautiful as he was this morning.  And hopefully he’s still feeling all right.//  
“Faramir?” he asked quietly as he entered the room.  “I hope I am not disturbing 
you?”

Faramir turned as he heard the soft lyrical voice call his name and couldn't stop 
the smile that spread across his face. "Not at all," he said writing down what he 
needed to and then crossed the room to him. After a moment his smiled slipped 
as he worried that Haldir was here to tell him that he'd rather not continue down 
the path they had spoke of that morning. "How...how have the negotiations gone 
today?" he asked, seeking for something mundane to try and avoid the questions 
he really wanted to ask. //Have you changed your mind? Did I offend you this 
morning?//

Haldir’s heart began to beat faster as Faramir came closer – a condition that was 
completely foreign to him.  But Faramir was….well, he was everything most 
men were not, in Haldir’s experience.  He was kind, gentle, honest, and more 
beautiful than anyone – man or Elf – that Haldir had ever seen.  As the smile 
left Faramir’s face, Haldir’s did the same and he resisted his initial urge to touch 
the young Lord.  “The negotiations went well,” he managed.  //There is no one 
in here to put a show on for, so naturally, he does not want you to touch him.//  
With a soft sigh, the Elf looked around the room, determined not to look back at 
the soft, full lips of the man in front of him.  “Are you feeling well?” he asked, 
finally letting his eyes settle on the parchment in Faramir’s hand.

"Still a bit sore, but the salve you used helped a great deal. I honestly don't 
know how to thank you, Haldir. You have truly done more than I deserve," 
Faramir said softly as his fingers gripped the parchment a bit tighter to keep 
himself from reaching out to touch the Elf. He didn't understand why he 
suddenly had the urge to touch Haldir, to feel him close, and it unnerved him. 
"I'm...I..." he trailed off unable to say the apology he had in his mind all 
morning as Haldir's eyes gazed into his own.

Haldir began shaking his head before Faramir had finished talking.  Sensing the 
uneasiness in the young man’s demeanor, his hand reached out and covered his 
friend’s.  “You deserve to *not* be hurt,” he said softly.  “You deserve to feel 
safe and secure in your own land, and especially in your own home.  You 
deserve to be cherished, not abused.  You deserve so much more than you’ve 
been given, Faramir.”  His fingers tightened over Faramir’s and Haldir moved a 
bit closer.  “Has something happened since we parted this morning?  You 
seem…..a bit ill at ease.”

Faramir stared at Haldir's hand covering his own and shook his head, 
"No...nothing has happened. I have been worried that...that I may have offended 
you, overstepped my bounds this morning. I...I apologize for kissing you that 
way. I did it so the servant could see...but...//I enjoyed it more than I ever 
dreamed I would// I am sorry. I won't do that again without your permission," 
his words spilled out quickly and he was glad that he'd been able to keep his 
thoughts to himself. He'd never felt these feelings before, and it was frightening. 
Haldir was trying to help him and he was going to have to put a damper on the 
attraction he was feeling for the Elf.

//Offended me?  With the sweetest kiss I have ever known??// Haldir smiled and 
lifted his free hand to gently tilt Faramir’s face up until their gazes met.  
“Faramir,” he said quietly, “you do not need my permission to kiss me.  
Besides, I think it was I who kissed you first in your rooms.”  //And I would 
give all the Mithril on Arda to kiss you again – right now.//  The Elf’s thumb 
traced idly over Faramir’s lips and Haldir’s tongue unconsciously slipped out to 
lick at his own lips.  “If this……*person*…..who hurt you is to believe we are 
more than friends, we should learn to be more comfortable with each other.  So, 
please, feel free to kiss me, or touch me, anytime you see fit.”  //If only you 
would kiss me or touch me because you *wanted* to, pen velui, and not simply 
to convince your abuser that you are protected now.//  Haldir’s heart skipped a 
beat at the unbidden thought.  This was so unlike him…he simply wasn’t the 
type of Elf to touch others, to speak with them softly, and think of them for 
hours on end.  //Gods…am I losing my mind?  Or simply my heart?  Or both?//

Faramir felt his heart speed in his chest as Haldir touched him so gently. As his 
thumb traced over his lips he found himself trapped by the Elf's shimmering 
gaze. His eyes slipped to Haldir's lips and it seemed the storeroom had suddenly 
become much hotter. "Thank you," he whispered unable to voice any of the 
multitude of thoughts running through his mind not the least of which that he'd 
very much like to kiss him now. 

Hearing a familiar voice outside the doorway calling his name, Faramir stepped 
away, immediately regretting the loss of Haldir's touch and met one of his men 
at the door. He spoke to the young lieutenant and then turned back to Haldir 
who was patiently waiting for him. "I imagine you came to find me for the noon 
meal?" he asked.

Haldir sighed at the loss of contact and willed his heartbeat to slow.  
//Remember….he wants to convince his abuser of our relationship.  He does not 
*want* a relationship!//  “Yes,” he said, forcing a smile to his face and trying to 
make his tone as businesslike as possible.  “I hoped we could enter the dining 
hall together.  Leave no doubt in anyone’s mind of who you are with now.  
Unless you have reconsidered?”

Faramir smiled, "No, I've not reconsidered, I had worried that you had. Now I 
know better," he said softly. "We have a little bit of time, my father detests 
people arriving late, but I think we can take our time. I need to drop these 
figures off in my room first, I have a report to compile after the meal," he 
explained tucking the parchment under his arm, and holding his hand out to 
Haldir shyly.

Thinking that Faramir wanted to hold his hand only because they may encounter 
his abuser, Haldir reached out and curled his fingers around the captain’s, 
smiling as they renewed their contact.  His arms ached to hold the young Lord 
close, but he was hesitant to make such a bold move. He had no idea if the 
coward who abused Faramir had crossed from physical abuse to sexual abuse, 
but would not have been surprised in the least if he had – and was more than a 
little afraid of pushing Faramir away.  //Besides, when his brother returns, 
Faramir will have no further use of me.  I should enjoy his companionship, 
enjoy holding him and touching him, but dare not dream of more.//   “I am at 
your command, pen velui,” Haldir smiled, “and should be more than happy to 
accompany you wherever you wish to lead me.”

Faramir smiled as Haldir took his hand and had to concentrate on keeping his 
heart from racing. "Mithrandir taught me a bit of Elvish," Faramir said as they 
began walking back up toward his room, "I am afraid I don't know the word pen 
velui though, or if I do, I do not remember it's meaning."

Haldir blushed slightly and gave Faramir a sheepish smile.  “It means ‘lovely 
one’,” he said softly. “It was the first word that came to mind when I saw you.  
And it is the word that seems to slip from my lips whenever I speak of you.”  If 
it was in Haldir’s demeanor to lie, he would have covered his words with an 
explanation that would not embarrass his friend – he would tell him that the use 
of the term would surely convince anyone who heard them that they were in a 
relationship.  But, as he had told Faramir earlier – he never lied, and he only 
hoped he had not made the young man reconsider their plan.  Faramir *was* 
lovely, and already the Silvan Elf was dreading the day he would have to leave 
Gondor.

Faramir stopped walking and because their hands were still entwined Haldir 
stopped with him. Facing the Elf he shook his head, "I am not lovely," he 
protested softly. "I am anything but...I am plain, and unworthy of such remarks. 
You on the other hand, I always had heard the Elves were beautiful, but I do not 
have the capacity for words to describe your beauty, Haldir," he blushed 
brightly from his words and looked down.

Wishing that Faramir could see himself the way Haldir saw him, the Silvan Elf 
shook his head and squeezed the young man’s hand.  “Pen velui,” he said softly.  
“Vanimle sila tiri.  That means ‘your beauty shines bright’.  It does, Faramir, 
even though you may not see it.  As for me….Among the Elves, I am nothing 
out of the ordinary.  But you, Faramir, you are breathtaking, more beautiful than 
any Elf or man, and it pains me to hear you say differently.”  Haldir’s eyes 
widened in surprise at his own words, but he knew they were true, even as he 
spoke them.  He’d never been romantic by any stretch of the imagination, or 
even *nice*, truth be told, yet here he was, practically throwing himself at 
Faramir’s feet!

Faramir's head was already shaking as Haldir spoke, "I wish you would not say 
such things. I do not deserve it," Faramir spoke softly. The only person who had 
ever called him beautiful was his brother and he knew that he only said that out 
of brotherly love. //He cannot find me beautiful. It just isn't possible to see 
something that is not there.// 

Deciding that they may be at an impasse from the look on Haldir's face, Faramir 
nodded slowly, "Thank you," he said simply and then began to walk beside the 
Elf once more toward their destination. //He thinks I am beautiful? Maybe he 
means in spirit? Boromir always says I have a beautiful and kind soul...and 
Mithrandir has said the same...maybe that's what he means. He cannot mean 
physical beauty, because I have none of that.//

Haldir realized that no one had ever taken the time to help Faramir see his own 
beauty and strength.  If only he knew who had made the young Lord see himself 
this way!  And if only Faramir could possibly want more than a false 
relationship, one founded only to keep him safe, then Haldir realized that he 
would gladly spend a lifetime making him see how special and lovely he really 
was.  //No.  He does *not* want that.  He does *not* want you.  This is a 
relationship of convenience, and nothing more.  He is your friend, the only 
friend you have ever had, and only that.  He will forget you when you leave his 
city and return to your home. //  

As they entered Faramir’s rooms, Haldir reluctantly released his hand.  “Would 
you allow me to move my belongings to your room?” he asked nervously.  “I 
am sure the……coward who hurt you will be watching us closely.  And I, of 
course, will find my sleep anywhere you like, if you would like to once again 
have your bed to yourself.  I don’t wish to force my attentions on you when we 
are alone.”  

Faramir set the parchments on his desk and turned to look at Haldir, "Of course, 
please go ahead," he said softly. "I...it is up to you but I think it might be more... 
believable if you slept here...in my bed," Faramir flushed as the words left his 
mouth. He knew it was for show but he had so enjoyed sleeping next to the Elf 
the night before. It truly was the first time he had slept well in years - it was as 
if Haldir's mere presence even protected him from his nightmares.

Haldir bit his lip and looked away, studying the books that lined the walls of 
Faramir’s room.  Every time the young Lord’s face flushed, Haldir found 
himself losing a bit more of his heart.  He was falling for the young Lord, 
falling hard, and could not seem to stop himself.  If only his attentions would be 
welcome.  Faramir had said he wished for them to share his bed, true, --- but 
only to make their story believable.   //It’s not like he could feel anything for 
you anyway, you foolish Elf!  No one can!  You *will* be alone for eternity, 
and you know it.  And up until a few hours ago, you were fine with that 
notion!//

“Yes,” Haldir agreed, forcing the emotion from his voice and nodding.  “We 
need to make this as believable as possible.  I understand that your brother will 
not return for some weeks, and I would take no chance that anyone doubt our 
story.”  Unable to help himself, he continued almost against his will even as his 
face turned crimson.  “But I must admit, I am happy that I will be able to hold 
you again this night.”

As Haldir said that he would be happy to hold him again Faramir's head 
snapped up and he looked at him for a moment. //Could...could he possibly be 
feeling the same thing I am?// "I will be happy for that too...I have never slept 
so peacefully," he said softly. Crossing the room to where Haldir stood he 
reached out and placed his hand tentatively on his arm. "I...find your nearness 
more than merely comforting," he said softly watching Haldir's eyes for any 
sense of revulsion at his admission.

Haldir’s breath caught in his chest and he rested a shaking hand over Faramir’s.  
“Faramir,” he murmured, swallowing the lump in his throat and telling himself 
to weigh his words carefully.  “I…I have found myself thinking of you all day.  
I have looked forward to being with you again, and….and I had hoped to 
continue the kiss we began this morning.  I failed to tell you how much I 
enjoyed that kiss, brief though it was.”

Faramir felt Haldir's hand tremble as it rested over his own and he found 
himself enthralled. //He thought of me? He wanted to continue the kiss?// 
Staring into the sparkling blue eyes he saw nothing but a look of sweet longing, 
the same look he knew was reflected in his own eyes. "I...I have thought about 
you all day as well. I can't tell you how many times I had to recount bedrolls or 
tents in the supply room because my mind would wander to thoughts of you," 
he whispered softly. "I know not what to do...the kiss we shared...I've honestly 
not shared many kisses in my life, and none as sweet."

Haldir dared to move closer, bringing Faramir’s hand to his lips as he brushed a 
soft kiss across each knuckle.  His heart pounded uncontrollably in his chest and 
he struggled to hold on to the last vestiges of his control.  The look in the young 
Lord’s eyes put aside any reservations Haldir had as he gazed into the beautiful 
blue eyes before him, and in that instant, the Silvan Elf lost his heart more 
completely than he’d ever dreamed he could.  Still holding Faramir’s hand, 
Haldir’s other hand moved to rest gently on the young captain’s lower back, 
remembering where each scar and bruise lay, and taking care not cause him 
pain.  “It was the sweetest kiss I have ever known also,” he said softly.  “And I 
feel I could lose myself in your arms for a lifetime, pen velui.”

Faramir felt as if his heart might race out of his chest as Haldir moved closer 
and kissed his hand. "I believe perhaps our deception has turned to a truth," he 
spoke softly leaning in closer to Haldir. //I'm falling in love with an Elf! This 
can't be happening yet it is...and I can't stop myself.// He knew this could end 
badly, he knew what his father would say and do but he suddenly lost any sense 
of caring about that. His father could beat him until he was broken completely 
and it would not change what he felt in his heart. He was falling in love with 
Haldir. Had been, he supposed, since the night before. Closing the final few 
inches between them he pressed his lips gently against Haldir's, the kiss 
tentative and halting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Haldir was more than ready for the kiss this time.  He pulled Faramir closer and 
released his hand, winding both arms carefully around his waist, making sure to 
avoid the mydrid of cuts and bruises he knew lay underneath the young man's 
tunic.  Faramir’s lips were soft and trembling beneath his own, and Haldir’s lips 
parted, allowing his tongue to slowly slide forth into the young lord’s mouth.  
He gently explored the delicious warmth, his eyes falling shut and his soft sigh 
lost within the sweet cavern behind Faramir’s lips.  After long moments of 
savoring the taste, Haldir’s tongue drew back, sliding along Faramir’s and 
inviting it to venture forth and explore his own mouth.    

Feeling butterflies fluttering in his stomach, Faramir lost himself in Haldir's 
kiss. The feel of Haldir's lips against his and his tongue sliding against his own 
was intoxicating. The man's hands tightened on the Elf's waist and pulled him 
closer still as his own tongue tentatively moved forward into Haldir's mouth. 
The heat, and sweetness was like nothing he had ever known. Soon the need for 
air was too great and he had to break away, feeling dizzy as he stared into 
beautiful eyes. He simply stared at the Elf, memorizing the look on his beautiful 
face before leaning forward to taste perfect lips again feeling that he could never 
get enough.

//Our deception has turned to a truth.//  The words rang in Haldir’s mind again 
and again.  He lifted one hand up to rest on the back of Faramir’s head and 
deepened the kiss, his body seeming to melt against his lover’s as Faramir 
pulled him closer.  He could easily just stand here and kiss the young lord for 
hours, he thought as the room was filled with soft sighs from both their lips.  
Pulling away breathlessly, Haldir gently let tendrils of Faramir’s hair trail 
between his fingers as he stared into sparkling blue eyes.  “Faramir,” he 
whispered softly, “could you ever see your way clear to love an Elf?”  

Faramir smiled adoringly at Haldir and nodded, "I think I already do," he 
whispered feeling his heart racing in his chest. Normally he might have checked 
his words and not so readily admitted his feelings, but something in Haldir's 
eyes spoke to him...telling him that he would be safe to admit how he felt. 

Haldir’s smile matched Faramir’s own as he heard the words that fell from the 
sweet, kiss-swollen lips before him.  He’d never dreamed of finding love, never 
even thought it was possible for someone like himself, but there was no way he 
could *not* fall for this beautiful man in his arms.  Words he’d never in his life 
said, and certainly never thought, rested on his tongue and he brought both 
hands up to tenderly cup his lover’s face.  “I love you,” he said softly, staring 
into shining blue eyes and falling in love all over again.  “When your kinsmen 
see us together, they will not be seeing a lie, for you have truly captured my 
heart.”

Faramir could not believe what he was hearing, what he was feeling in Haldir's 
arms. //How can anyone so perfect love me?// "I am not worthy of your love, 
Haldir, but I do feel the same. I have never felt this way before. I feel as if my 
heart may burst with joy just being here in your arms, kissing your lips," he said 
softly. Then he thought about their stations, their...differences. Haldir was an 
Elf.  He had seen so much in his long life and Faramir's short life was 
insignificant in the scheme of things. His father...Gods his father would be 
furious with him. "I...I am afraid that my father will be angry about 
this...about...us," Faramir said after a moment. When it was just a ruse he knew 
his father would be angry but Haldir would leave when Boromir returned...but 
what now? Will he still leave him?

Haldir’s arms slid carefully back down Faramir’s back, unwilling to let him go 
for even a moment.  He knew they should be leaving for the dining hall, but he 
simply didn’t ever want to let this moment end.  Stepping toward a chair that sat 
against the wall behind them, Haldir sat down and gently tugged Faramir down 
with him until Faramir sat on his lap.  He rested his head on the young captain’s 
chest and held him close for a moment before pulling back and staring into his 
eyes, noticing that they suddenly looked worried and more than a little afraid.  
“I know your father does not like Elves,” he said softly, “but surely he would 
have you happy?  I swear by the Valar, Faramir, I will do everything in my 
power to make you happy…anything and everything.  But something else seems 
to weigh on your mind.  Tell me, please, what you are thinking?”

Faramir smiled softly as Haldir pulled him down into a chair with him and 
curled his arms around his love. He bit his bottom lip afraid to ask the question 
playing in his mind but finally he decided that he had to know. "I...I am 
wondering what will happen now...when my brother returns will you still return 
to your home? Will you still leave...me?" he asked softly feeling ashamed at 
how needy his question had been.

Haldir’s heart broke at the very thought of leaving Faramir, and he shook his 
head at once.  “I don’t want to leave you,” he whispered honestly, lifting one 
hand up to rest on the young lord’s cheek.  His words were true…he didn’t want 
to leave Faramir’s side...and he had the distinct feeling somewhere deep inside 
him that that feeling would never go away.  “I will have to travel back to Lorien 
and speak with my Lord and Lady after your brother returns, but I have no 
doubt they will give me their blessing.  I have guarded the realm for centuries, 
and I believe they will be happy to see that I have finally fallen in love.  My 
Lady often told me my standards were too high – that I would never find an Elf 
perfect enough for me to fall in love with.  Little did I know that she said was 
true….that my heart would lie in the hands of a captain of Gondor.”

Faramir stared disbelievingly at Haldir. //...that my heart would lie in the hands 
of a captain of Gondor.// He smiled happily and curled his arms around his love, 
kissing him tenderly. "You will leave your home for me?" he whispered in awe. 
"I...I don't deserve such honors...I truly don't, but I cannot bring myself to be 
selfless enough to deny that I don't wish for you to be by my side, always," he 
whispered. It was so hard to believe that he'd only met this incredible being the 
afternoon before, and he was already willing to give up his home in the Golden 
Wood he has heard so many wonderful things of. "You will be alright? Staying 
here? I know that Gondor could never be the home Lorien is to you," he 
whispered, worried that Haldir was making a mistake...making a decision too 
quickly that he will regret later.

Haldir gazed into Faramir’s eyes for a moment, thinking of the Golden Wood 
that he’d protected for many long centuries.  It was the only place on Arda he 
truly cared for, yet it would hold little happiness for him unless Faramir lived 
within her borders, of that he had no doubt.  If he were to return, he would long 
for the young captain as he’d never longed for anything or anyone in his life.  
“Pen velui,” said whispered, “I have known you for less than a day, but I 
already know that my home is where ever you are.  I will find a place here, a 
place where my skills as a warrior can be put to use – and I would spend every 
minute of every day thinking of you, dreaming of you, and holding you at every 
opportunity, if you will allow me to do so.”

"I will...my love, I will always want you near me," Faramir said softly resting 
his head against Haldir's shoulder. There was so much he needed to tell him...so 
much that might change his mind. "Do you mind if we have our noon meal here 
in my room? I do not feel like having to endure my father's scrutiny right 
now...and there are some things...some things we must discuss that may change 
your mind. May change how you feel about me," he whispered feeling his heart 
constrict in his chest. He didn't want to lose Haldir after he had just found him, 
but he could not keep secrets from him. It was not in his nature to deceive 
someone he cared for.

Haldir placed a soft kiss on Faramir’s forehead and shook his head.  “Nothing in 
all of Arda will make me change my mind about loving you,” he whispered.  
“So, push that thought from your mind, I beg of you.”  His fingers trailed gently 
through his lover’s hair and he simply held him for long moments before he 
moved.  “I will tell the guard to find a servant to bring some food for us, and 
would love nothing more than to put my arms around you and listen to whatever 
you would like to share with me.  But it will *not* change how I feel.  You have 
my word, Faramir – nothing could make me stop loving you.”

"I hope that is true, Haldir," Faramir said softly, "I truly hope what I have to say 
doesn't change how you feel about me." Faramir untangled himself from Haldir 
and stood up. "It's...about the identity of who hurt me and has hurt me since I 
was a small child," Faramir said softly unsure exactly where to start. He had 
never talked to anyone else about the abuse. Some guards knew of it, though not 
the extent, and some of the healers knew...they couldn't help but know.

Tears of pain and anger filled Haldir’s eyes at the very thought of anyone 
hurting Faramir – and it sounded like the abuse had gone on for a very, very 
long time.  Rising from the chair, he blinked back his tears and shook his head.  
He walked to the door and asked the guard to have someone send food for two 
to Faramir’s room, then asked him to have someone send his belongings to 
Faramir’s room as well.  The guard nodded, and Haldir closed the door, turning 
toward his lover and giving him an encouraging smile.  

Haldir crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed, not sure if Faramir 
would want to be alone, or next to him as he talked about something so 
obviously painful – something that had apparently began in childhood.  “You 
heard me ask the guard to have my belongings moved into your room,” he said 
softly.  “That is how sure I am that whatever you say will not change my mind.”  

Faramir nodded and smiled softly. “Thank you for that,” he whispered trying to 
decide where to start. "The...the marks you saw on me were inflicted by my 
father. It was why I had to leave so quickly yesterday. I knew if I tarried too 
long, that it would be even worse than what I thought...and in truth it was worse. 
He has been doing that to me since not long after my mother died when I was a 
small child," the words seemed to spill out flatly devoid of emotion, as if he 
were reading the words rather than having experienced them.  "It started out just 
a slap across my face if I said or did anything that displeased him, 
and...escalated from there over the years." Faramir stopped speaking and 
wrapped his arms around himself looking out the window. He was unsure how 
to go on...how to tell Haldir the full extent. Loving someone completely meant 
more than just holding one another, but would Haldir want him in that way 
knowing...about the other?

Haldir shook his head as he tried to make sense of Faramir’s words.  //His adar 
did this to him?  Denethor hurt his own flesh and blood?  How in all of Arda 
could he raise a hand to his own son?//  Before he knew what he was doing, 
he’d moved off the bed and was standing behind Faramir, his chest pressing 
gently against his lover’s bruised and beaten back, and his hands resting on 
Faramir’s stomach.  “He had no right,” he said softly, pressing his lips to the 
young man's temple and biting back the anger at Faramir’s father that threatened 
to overwhelm him.  “No right to touch you, to hurt you, pen velui.  I have heard 
tales of men who would hurt their own children in this manner, but I never 
thought them to be true.  It *will* not happen again.  I will cut off his hands if 
he dares to lay another finger on you.”

Faramir melted back into Haldir's arms and closed his eyes as he spoke softly. "I 
feared you would think less of me...but," squeezing his eyes shut tightly he felt 
his body shudder in Haldir's arms, "but that is not everything. Most everyone in 
Gondor knows I am Denethor's 'lesser son' as I said yesterday, most within these 
walls know that he has beaten me, though they do not breathe a word of it 
beyond this house...Boromir does not know of most of it. It is why he never 
marks my face or chest. The...the other...the other things… I know that with 
love and a relationship that you will want me physically...and you need to know 
that you will be with a man who is unclean. When I was thirteen he 
began...doing more than just beating me when he was angry," Faramir's words 
ground to a halt unable to give voice to the vile things his father had done to 
him over the last ten years.

Haldir took a deep breath and he knew at that moment that he could easily kill 
Faramir’s father.  His teeth ground together and his eyes narrowed as he 
pictured *anyone* hurting their own child in that manner, and especially that 
pitiful excuse for a Steward hurting dear, sweet Faramir.  “Seron vell,” (my 
beloved), he said softly.  “That Pen thaur  …that abominable one… who calls 
himself your father, is not worthy to breathe the same air you breathe.  I would 
find him and kill him where he stands if I did not have you in my arms.”  Gently 
turning Faramir around in his arms, Haldir pulled him close, silver tears falling 
from his eyes and landing on his lover’s face.  Haldir had never let anyone see 
him cry, at least not since he was of age, yet he was unable to stop his tears 
now.  “You are not unclean, melethen.  You are pure and perfect, and I love 
you.”

As Haldir turned him around and he saw tears in his love's eyes his restraint 
broke and tears slipped down Faramir’s face as his lover held him close. He 
sobbed quietly against Haldir's neck. "I do not deserve you, I truly do not, but I 
cannot let you go," he barely managed to utter the words as his body shook from 
the emotional turmoil roiling through him. "I...I have never told anyone 
this...not even my own brother," he whispered surprised at how it seemed to 
make his soul feel less burdened having shared his secrets with another.

Haldir’s tears mingled with Faramir’s as he pulled him even closer.  After a 
moment, he bent down and slid one arm beneath his lover’s knees, lifting him 
easily, and carried him over to the bed, much as he had the night before.  This 
time, however, he settled Faramir in his lap, and leaned back to rest against the 
headboard as he cradled Faramir against his chest, rocking him gently, and 
kissing away his tears.  “My sweet Faramir,” he murmured softly, “you have 
borne this burden alone for so many years.  You have more strength than 
anyone I have ever known.  But you will be alone no more, pen velui.  I will be 
beside you as long as there is breath in my body.”

Faramir was surprised as Haldir scooped him into his arms and carried him to 
the bed. He remembered how that had felt the night before and wrapped his 
arms around his love, resting his tear stained face against the soft fabric of his 
tunic. "I am not strong, or I would have been able to stop it long before now," 
he said sadly. Curling closer to Haldir he closed his eyes and tried to relax into 
his gentle touch. //He has not rejected me, even after knowing all of this.// 
Faramir couldn't help but wonder how Haldir could possibly still want him after 
admitting all of that, but he thanked the Valar that he did.

“That is….that is why you were bathing so long last night,” Haldir said, almost 
to himself.  “Why you were rubbing your skin until it was raw.  He…he did this 
to you last night, did he not?”  

Faramir nodded, his breath hitching as he tried to answer, "Y..yes," he 
murmured softly, "After I left you at the council chamber."

//So, his own father was using him while I was admiring the tapestries!//  “I am 
so sorry,” Haldir said softly.  “If I had known, I would have made him stop.  I 
would have cut off his member and fed it to the pigs in the lowest levels of your 
city!”

Faramir shook his head; "You cannot say anything about this, Haldir. He cannot 
know that I told you...no one can," he said worriedly. "Promise me. Promise me 
you won't do anything," Faramir sat up looking into Haldir's eyes, his own 
thoughts frantic. "It will end now, he has always said that no one would ever 
love me except he and Boromir...now that I have found you, I don't believe he 
will ever touch me again."

Haldir saw the panic in his lover’s eyes and felt his heart break all over again.  
//He said that no one would ever love you?  My darling Faramir…he was so 
very wrong.//  “Please, melethen,” Haldir pleaded, “he has hurt you.  I cannot let 
him go unpunished for everything he has put you through….”  

"No, Haldir, please...please do not. This is why Boromir does not know; he 
would kill his own father if he knew. I hate my father, I stopped feeling any 
love for him the first time he...he...I've not loved him for many years but he is 
the Steward. You want an alliance between Gondor and Lorien - killing the 
Steward is not the way to achieve that!" Faramir pleaded. "Please...it will end, 
yesterday was the last time. And knowing that I have you...I will be strong 
enough to deny him."

Haldir could see the rising panic in Faramir’s eyes and reached out to pull him 
back into his embrace.  “Faramir,” he whispered, holding his lover close, 
“please…I cannot stand to see you like this.  I would love nothing more than to 
make him pay for touching you, to be punished for every time he struck you, or 
harmed you, or….or ra...abused you.   It will be the most difficult task I have 
ever undertaken, but if you ask it of me, I will not touch him.  But if you ever 
reconsider, I will kill him without the slightest mercy or hesitation.”
  
Faramir shuddered when Haldir said that he would kill his father without mercy 
or hesitation. Part of him wished he could allow it, but he could not. "Thank 
you," he whispered softly sinking into Haldir's arms again. Hearing a soft knock 
at the door he looked up at Haldir only just then remembering he had asked for 
his things to be brought and for food to be brought to them.

Haldir gently kissed Faramir’s forehead and sighed.  “I will see to our food,” he 
whispered as he carefully untangled himself from his lover and gently deposited 
him back on the bed.  Walking over toward the door, he continued.  “You, my 
pen velui, lie here and relax.  And unless you object, I will tell the guard to tell 
your company you have been called away on business for the afternoon, and 
will return to them tomorrow.  I would like to stay here with you for the rest of 
the day, and speak of happier times.  You could tell me of the good times in 
your life, and I could tell you tales of my Lord and Lady, and of the Golden 
Wood.”  As he spoke, he took the food-laden tray from the servant with one 
hand, and a box filled with his belongings with the other.  He dismissed the 
servant and looked toward his lover, waiting for his answer before giving the 
guard who waited outside the door his instructions.

Faramir smiled, he knew he should not take the rest of the day off but he was 
still sore and would much rather spend time with Haldir. "That sounds 
wonderful, I would love to learn more about you and your past," Faramir said 
softly. He would still need to finish that report, but it was not a pressing matter.  
He was still amazed that after all he told Haldir, he still wished to remain with 
him. //This is the kind of love I've read about but never dreamed I would feel. 
He stays, even after knowing what I've allowed all these years.// Faramir pushed 
all of the darker thoughts aside, wanting to learn more about Haldir, and think 
of happier times.

Haldir gave the guard his orders, and then brought the tray of food back to sit on 
the table by the bed.  He sat behind his lover and gently urged Faramir to lean 
back against him, careful not to put any pressure on his back.  “The fruits and 
sweets look excellent,” he smiled, softly kissing the side of Faramir’s neck, “but 
I think I shall find nothing as delicious as you, pen velui.”  If Haldir had heard 
these words spoken earlier, he would have rolled his eyes and sneered, thinking 
that whomever would talk like that, would lay their soul bare in such a manner, 
was nothing more than a blithering idiot who wanted nothing more than a few 
hours pleasure.  But he meant every word…he honestly could not think of one 
single thing that tasted as sweet as the man in his arms.

Faramir's stomach rumbled and he almost laughed at himself. This would be the 
first meal he'd had since the noon meal the day before. As Haldir kissed his 
neck and teased him, he found himself giggling. Something he hadn't done in 
years and shook his head smiling, "You so easily find ways to make me forget 
everything and just feel happiness," he whispered.

Haldir smiled and wrapped his arms around his lover, taking both of Faramir’s 
hands in his own.  “Your laughter is more beautiful than the sound of a 
thousand elves lifting their voices in song,” he said softly.  //I will make you 
forget, Faramir.  I will spend the rest of our lives making you feel happiness and 
laughter, and more love than you can imagine if you will let me.//  Bringing his 
lover’s hands to his lips, Haldir kissed the tip of each finger before releasing 
them and sliding the table within reach.  “Your stomach, however, threatens to 
drown out the sound of your laughter, so we should fill it at once,” he teased, 
pressing another kiss to Faramir’s temple.

~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Faramir couldn't remember a time when he'd enjoyed writing an inventory 
report more. He was lying on his stomach writing out the report while Haldir sat 
beside him reading one of his books. The only distracting thing was one of 
Haldir's hands was trailing lightly up and down the length of his back. How the 
Elf knew exactly where each mark and bruise was to avoid them he didn't 
know...and didn't care as he tried to concentrate on the final few lines of the 
report. "You know...you are making it very difficult for me to write this don't 
you?" he asked wondering if he should have stayed at the desk in the corner, but 
happy that he hadn't. 

Haldir laid his book on the table next to the bed and smiled at Faramir.  He 
hadn’t really been able to concentrate anyway, as his eyes kept wandering to the 
man beside him.  He would never have thought it possible to fall so hard so fast, 
yet he couldn't stop thinking of Faramir…of his taste, his scent, his smile, his 
laughter, his gentle beauty.  "Oh," he grinned, "do you wish for me to stop?" His 
fingers crept underneath Faramir's tunic and ran carefully along his spine. "I 
could always go back to my rooms and leave you in peace. Wait…..*this* is my 
room now, so that would be out of the question." Leaning forward, the Silvan 
Elf stretched out next to his lover and rested his head on one hand. "I can’t seem 
to help myself," he said softly. "I simply find you intoxicating, Melethen."

Faramir nearly snorted and had to strike out the last word on his report and 
rewrite it. "I'm anything but intoxicating...but I am glad you stayed here with 
me. It made dealing with all of these numbers much less boring," he said 
smiling. Gathering the parchments he stretched and laid them on the chest at the 
foot of his bed, wincing slightly when the damaged skin on his back reminded 
him of the marks there. Rolling onto his side he matched Haldir's pose and 
smiled, "We missed the noon meal, I'm sure we will need to make an 
appearance for dinner, your brothers may think you've been Elfnapped," 
Faramir teased as he watched Haldir's eyes sparkle in the lowering sunlight. 

Haldir rested one hand on Faramir's hip, his thumb running in soothing circles 
over the light leggings that covered the young Captain's lower body. "I think 
they would welcome the very idea of someone taking me off their hands,” he 
laughed.  “I will need to speak with them though.  There's no need for either of 
them to stay in Gondor any longer. I don’t even want them around 
that……hûachaseb (cowardly dog)who calls himself your adar." Moving closer, 
Haldir pressed a chaste kiss to Faramir's lips. "I would keep you away from him 
if I could," he said softly. "So you wouldn't have to be in the same room with 
him, and wouldn't have to bear the thought of him looking at you."

Faramir sighed softly as Haldir's lips pressed to his and nodded, "I wish it were 
that easy," he whispered. He was still trying to come to grips with the very idea 
that Haldir, an Elf, cared for him. Said he loved him...was protecting him. He 
did not deserve this beautiful creature's love, but he could not deny that he felt 
the same. From the moment their eyes had first met he had felt a warmth run 
through him...as if he wasn't meeting someone new but someone he had known 
forever. "Will...will your brothers approve? Of...this, of us?" he asked curiously. 
What if Haldir's kin did not think it was right for him to be with a man and not 
an Elf like himself? What then? Would he bend to his kinsman's wishes?

"My brothers…." Haldir hesitated. "They will be happy that I have found love at 
long last. They may be….taken aback when they realize that I am actually 
capable of loving someone, to be honest, but they will accept our relationship." 
Wrapping his arms carefully around his lover, Haldir held Faramir gently and 
closed his eyes. "All of Lorien will love you, seron vell." He had no doubt that 
his words were true. His brothers would be shocked, but they would support his 
decision when they realized that this was truly where their eldest sibling's heart 
lay.  Like Haldir, Orophin and Rumil had figured that Haldir would live for an 
eternity as he had up until this point in his life…alone and quite happy to be that 
way, never desiring a relationship of any kind.  All of Lorien would be shocked, 
in fact.  

//Capable of loving someone?// Faramir was slightly confused by Haldir's 
words. The Elf who lay beside him was unlike anyone he'd ever known. Loving, 
kind, gentle...why wouldn't they think he was capable of loving someone? 
Listening as Haldir continued, he found himself smiling. Faramir nuzzled his 
face against Haldir's neck and felt his heartbeat skip. //He does love me. If he 
intends to tell his brothers, and his people...then he does truly care for me.// 
"I...think my brother will be happy for me too," he whispered softly. //At least I 
hope he is.// Faramir pulled back and looked at the serene face his fingers 
tracing lightly over the pale almost shimmering skin. "Are all Elves this 
perfect?" he asked softly. 

Haldir smiled and gently caressed his lover's face. "Not perfect," he said softly, 
"though I have heard that we sometimes appear that way when we are truly in 
love and are loved in return." Closing his eyes, he held his lover close, inhaling 
the sweet scent that was uniquely Faramir's and smiled. 

Haldir’s mind wandered to Faramir's brother and he swallowed the lump in his 
throat, more worried about Boromir's reaction that his own brothers'. It had been 
clear from their first meeting that Faramir thought very highly of Boromir, and 
the fact that he'd said Boromir would kill their father if he knew that Denethor 
had abused him made him realize that Boromir must dearly love his younger 
brother too. If Boromir wished it, Faramir might change his mind and ask Haldir 
to leave at once. It was highly unusual for a man to fall in love with an Elf, and 
Faramir's older brother may not accept him as part of their family. His stomach 
clenched at the thought and he pulled Faramir closer. "I hope your brother won't 
hate me," he whispered. 

"He won't hate you," Faramir said softly. "I...he's hot tempered and a bit over 
protective of me sometimes... but he will listen to me. To what I want," he said, 
remembering all the times that Boromir had been so vehemently against 
something, only to change his mind once Faramir had convinced him that it was 
what he wanted. 

"I suppose we should make our way downstairs for dinner. My father will be 
expecting us since we were not at the noon meal. This...will be uncomfortable 
for both of us I am sure," Faramir said softly not looking forward to spending 
the evening under his father's scrutiny and truly hoping that Haldir's presence 
would achieve what they hoped. 

Placing a soft kiss to his lover's forehead, Haldir sighed and slid off the edge of 
the bed. He entwined his fingers with Faramir's and gently helped him from the 
bed. "Are you in pain, Meleth?" he asked, straightening his tunic with his free 
hand and pushing his dread at sharing a meal with the one creature on Arda he 
had quickly grown to hate to the back of his mind. 

"No, I feel much better than even a few hours ago," Faramir said softly. He gave 
Haldir's fingers a gentle squeeze and scooped up his report with his other hand. 
"I'll drop these off on our way. We will get through this together," he said as he 
saw a hint of *something* in Haldir's eyes. //He dreads sitting at that table as 
much as I do.// 

Haldir smiled at his lover and nodded. "Always together," he agreed as they 
walked from Faramir's room and headed toward the dining hall. They walked 
slowly and Haldir watched Faramir intently, noting that he seemed as reluctant 
to enter the dining hall as Haldir himself did. 

The Silvan Elf knew that his most difficult task would be refraining from 
confronting the Steward now that he knew his true nature, but he *had* 
promised Faramir he would not cause trouble. They dropped the report off and 
continued toward the entrance of the dining hall, where Haldir pulled his lover 
to a halt. "He cannot hurt you, meleth," he said softly. "I swear he will suffer if 
he dares to even try."

Faramir nodded slowly, "I...I cannot say I am not worried, but with you by my 
side it makes me stronger," he whispered. Leaning forward he pressed a soft 
kiss against Haldir's lips before drawing away and taking a deep breath. 
Squeezing Haldir's hand they turned and walked into the dining hall together. 
His father was just entering from the other side of the room and his eyes 
widened in a flash of anger as he saw the two of them holding hands. Faramir's 
gaze immediately drifted to the marble floor in front of him as they moved to 
their seats.

Rumil’s eyes were wide as he watched his brother walk into the hall hand in 
hand with the Steward’s son.  Elbowing Orophin in the side, he directed his 
attention toward the door, and both brothers stared at their eldest sibling as he 
and Faramir crossed the room and sat down.  Before Haldir said a word, 
Rumil’s questions were frozen on his lips as he noticed a sparkle in Haldir’s 
eyes that had never been there before.   

“You, tôr, (brother) are in love,” Rumil said, his own eyes filled with shock at 
seeing his brother this way.  He couldn’t have been more surprised, especially 
when Haldir simply nodded and actually smiled back at him.  The Haldir Rumil 
knew rarely smiled, and would normally have glared and directed a biting 
remark at him in response.  But *this* Haldir looked…happy?  //Is that even 
possible?//

“I am,” Haldir smiled, resting his arm around Faramir’s shoulder and giving it a 
gentle squeeze.  “With a mighty Captain of Gondor, no less.  But we will speak 
of this after our meal.  Faramir has need of my attention….elsewhere.”  Cutting 
his eyes across the table, Haldir’s gaze steadily met Denethor’s and he raised an 
eyebrow.  //Ah…you are not so quick to insult your son when he is not alone, 
are you, you coward?//

Denethor’s eyes lifted from Faramir’s and met Haldir’s gaze.  Seeing the fire 
behind the Elf’s blue eyes, the Steward quickly looked down at his plate, 
already planning on making Faramir sorry for this embarrassment at the earliest 
opportunity.  //I will kill them both.  That hideous Elf *dares* lay a hand on 
what is rightfully mine?  And that repulsive boy who thinks he could hold a 
candle to his older brother?  We’ll see how quickly his smile is erased when I 
beat him within an inch of life…//  At that thought, his mind pictured Faramir 
naked and bleeding, legs spread wide and tied to his desk, whimpering in pain 
and humiliation, begging him to stop.  He would *never* stop…they both knew 
that.  The mental image made his cock stiffen immediately underneath his robes 
and he could almost taste how good it would feel when he buried himself deep 
in the boy’s body, his thrusting made easier by Faramir’s own blood - the only 
lube Denethor ever used.  “Faramir,” he said with a cold smile on his face,  “I 
would speak with you after our meal.  Please report to my 
study……alone…before you retire.” 

Faramir felt his face flush as Haldir spoke to his brother, and then as his father 
spoke his mouth opened to speak but his words seemed caught in his chest. 
//report to my study...alone// He swallowed hard and looked down at his plate 
determined not to acknowledge his father's words for the moment.

Haldir cleared his throat and smiled politely at his host as he squeezed Faramir’s 
hand.  “I do apologize, my *lord*,” he said, keeping his voice low, and speaking 
the title with obvious distaste, “but Faramir and I have plans after our meal, then 
we shall retire to his room together.  You are most welcome to stop by and 
speak with him then.  I am quite sure you have a few words of……advice for 
me as well.”  

Rumil gasped at the thinly veiled anger in his brother’s voice and wisely kept 
his mouth closed as he waited for Denethor’s caustic response.  He was further 
surprised when the steward’s eyes narrowed and he nodded faintly, and then 
looked down at his plate.

Denethor’s face flushed, and he clenched his fists under the table, his erection 
disappearing immediately.  Haldir’s words were polite to anyone who was 
listening, and the steward couldn’t make a scene in front of so many people.  
//Worthless creature…pawing at the boy like that! And Faramir…such a whore!  
I bet he’s offered himself to that filthy Elf and his brothers a hundred times 
over, probably begs to be fucked at every opportunity!  When those animals 
finally leave my city, I *will* make sure the boy knows that he belongs to me, 
and *no one* else is to touch him.  IF I let him live, that is.//  

Haldir rested his forehead against Faramir's temple and squeezed his hand again 
underneath the table.  “I am sorry if I overstepped my bounds, seron vell,” he 
whispered.  //But how else can we keep you safe?  He *must* know you are no 
longer his to abuse...and you deserve to live without this fear, my sweet 
captain.//  

Faramir shook his head slowly his eyes still fixed upon his plate. "You have not, 
I...I did not know how to answer," he whispered softly for only Haldir to hear. 
His heart was beating rapidly in his chest and he doubted he would eat much, if 
any of his meal. He simply wished to be out of that room and away from his 
father as quickly as possible.

“Faramir,” Haldir said softly, squeezing his hand again and moving closer.  “We 
wanted him to see that we are together.  There will be no falsehood in my eyes 
as I look at you adoringly, and your….*steward*  will see that.  All of Gondor 
will see how I feel about you.  Please look at me, Pen velui - do not be afraid.”

Faramir turned to meet Haldir's gaze and suddenly felt calmer gazing into his 
love's eyes. "Yes, we wanted him to see us," he whispered. He could feel 
Haldir's brother's staring at them across the table and tried his best to look up 
and pretend that he didn't feel an overwhelming desire to bolt from the room. 
The only thing keeping him there was Haldir's presence, his strength, and the 
calming feel of his hand in Faramir's.

Haldir’s fingers stayed curled around his lover’s throughout the meal as he 
picked at his food, glancing between his lover and Denethor repeatedly.  He 
noticed his brothers could feel the tension, and were unusually quiet and 
contained.  In fact, everyone in the room seemed on edge, and even Haldir felt 
restless.  Deciding to make no secret of their relationship, Haldir turned toward 
his brother and smiled.  “I have fallen in love with the steward’s son, Rumil,” he 
said loudly enough for Denethor to hear as he squeezed his lover’s hand gently.  
“I would ask you and Orophin to return to Lorien and inform our Lord and Lady 
that I will not be returning for some time.”

The announcement brought smiles to the faces of almost everyone in the room, 
and several of the guests toasted the couple.  Haldir smiled and accepted 
everyone’s good wishes, as his gaze drifted toward the head of the table.  
Denethor sat perfectly still, his face frozen and his eyes cold as he stared at his 
youngest son.  

“I bid you all a good evening,” he said abruptly, standing and pushing his chair 
back against the wall with a loud crack.  “The meal has been………….most 
enlightening.  And I think I will take you up on your offer to visit *my* son’s 
room another night.  I find myself feeling ill at the moment.”  Without another 
word, Denethor strode from the room, his robes flapping around his feet and his 
hands clenched at his sides.

As Denethor's chair scraped across the floor and slammed against the wall 
Faramir jumped, dropping his fork with a clatter, and he sat motionless staring 
down at his plate. He reached out to retrieve the dropped utensil and noticed that 
his hand was trembling. Quickly he pulled his hand back as if he'd been 
branded. Instead he sat with his shoulders hunched and his hands clasped in his 
lap. He could not bring himself to look up at Haldir's brothers whose eyes he 
could feel fixed upon him.

“What was *that* about?” Rumil asked Haldir.  “Does the Steward not wish 
for….”

Haldir raised one hand, cutting his brother off mid-sentence, his gaze never 
leaving Faramir.  “I am sorry, seron vell,” he said, taking both of Faramir’s 
hands in his own.  Trying to take the focus off of his lover, he spoke loudly 
enough so everyone in the hall could hear him.  “I find that I am suddenly tired 
and wish to retire.  Will you join me?”

Faramir nodded slowly as Haldir took his hands. "Yes," he whispered softly. 
Looking up briefly he could feel his face flush and he bowed slightly to Haldir's 
brothers. "Goodnight," he whispered.  As they stood, Haldir wrapped his arm 
around Faramir's waist, a movement that the man was more than grateful for. 
"I'm sorry," he whispered as they made it to the doorway, "I am sorry that I 
embarrassed you in front of your brothers. They must think you have fallen in 
love with a mouse."

Haldir lead his lover through the door and stopped.  He wrapped both arms 
around Faramir, holding him close.  “You could never embarrass me,” he said 
softly, pressing his lips against Faramir’s temple and feeling his lover tremble 
against him.  “I think my brothers are jealous.  I fear I may have to fight both of 
them for your affections after they have seen how handsome my Gondorian 
Captain is now that they have had the chance to inspect your sparkling blue eyes 
up close.”

Faramir laughed nervously and shook his head, "I don't think that will be an 
issue...I don't think I looked up from my plate the entire meal," he said softly. 
"Please...let's just return to our room?" he asked still feeling unnerved but much 
calmer than he had moments before. Haldir's nearness seemed to soothe him.

“Of course, seron vell,” Haldir said softly, keeping one arm securely around his 
lover as they walked back toward Faramir’s room.  His anger at Denethor had 
steadily risen throughout the meal, but he was more worried about Faramir than 
anything else at the moment.  As they reached the door to their room, Haldir 
hurriedly opened it and stepped in, taking his lover back into his arms at once.  
“I am so sorry,” he whispered as he rained soft kisses over Faramir’s face.  “He 
is angry, but we did expect that.  He will not have you to take his anger out on 
now, pen vuin (dear one).  You are safe.  He cannot hurt you.”

Faramir sunk into Haldir's embrace and closed his eyes as feather light kisses 
brushed over his face. He felt treasured and wrapped his arms around his love. 
"I know...he cannot hurt me now," he whispered, "And I love you so very much 
and thank you for standing by me." No one except Boromir had ever stood with 
him against his father and even Boromir faltered in that sometimes. Wrapping 
his arms tighter around his lover Faramir kissed him tenderly, a soft and gentle 
press of lips but soon it turned to more. He knew that he was still trembling but 
now it was more from passion than from fear.

Haldir’s arms tightened around his lover as Faramir’s lips sought his own.  
Sighing into the kiss, he pulled his love closer and welcomed the seeking tongue 
into his mouth, loving the way Faramir tasted, the way he tentatively explored 
the inside of his cheek, and licked at his teeth.  In all his many years, the Elf had 
never found anyone who had this effect over him – the ability to make his blood 
race through his veins and his heart pound in his chest with a simple kiss.  “I 
love you, Melethen,” he whispered as he drew breathlessly away from the kiss 
to stare into sparkling eyes.  “You make my heart race and my body yearn for 
you more with every passing second.”

Faramir smiled as he gazed into Haldir's shimmering eyes. "I feel the same way, 
though I have never...never been...I..." he trailed off unable to explain. He had 
never been with anyone other than his father, he had never kissed another 
except when he was a young boy and one of the kitchen maids kissed him 
quickly for helping her when she slipped and fell. His father had punished him 
for just that innocent kiss.

Haldir placed one finger underneath his lover’s chin and let his thumb trail 
lightly over kiss swollen lips.  “You have never been….what, seron vell?”  he 
asked softly.  “Please, do not be ashamed to tell me anything.  I want to know 
everything about you – what you feel, what you are thinking, what you 
want….everything.”

Faramir felt his face flush again, "I have never kissed anyone until you...my...he 
would not allow me to *be* with anyone. Even a once childish innocent kiss 
had earned his wrath," he spoke softly. "I...he is the only one I have ever *been* 
with," he said his voice halting unable to continue. He did not wish to think of 
*him* anymore. Faramir watched Haldir's eyes and felt himself shiver when he 
saw the realization dawn in the Elf's sparkling eyes. //Did I say too much? Will 
he still want me knowing that?//

“Oh, melethen,” Haldir whispered softly.  “I didn't know.”  //He has ruined so 
much for you, my beloved.  But he cannot ruin this…..he cannot ruin *us*.//  “I 
will show you what it is like to be loved, Faramir, really and truly loved.  I think 
I know how to do that now.  For every time he touched you, I will touch you a 
thousand times more, and my every caress will be with all the love and 
tenderness I possess until you forget that anyone ever touched you before me.  I 
will not make you regret loving me, Faramir.”

Faramir smiled and shook his head, "I could never regret loving you, Haldir," he 
spoke softly but his words were clear and strong. Nothing in this world was he 
more certain of than that. He would never regret Haldir's love. "I worried...that 
you may not understand ...that you might think that I am simply too broken and 
not worth the effort, but I see that is not true, that will never be true."   

“You are not broken,” Haldir whispered, brushing a stray lock of hair behind his 
lover’s ear.  “You are perfect, and strong, and breathtakingly beautiful.”  Taking 
Faramir’s hand, Haldir led him over to the bed, where he lay down and gently 
pulled his lover to lie beside him.  “I could so easily drown in your eyes,” he 
smiled, trailing his fingertip gently across Faramir’s face.

Faramir leaned into the gentle touch and closed his eyes. "You are the perfect 
one," he whispered opening his eyes to gaze into Haldir's. "I cannot believe that 
you see all of those things in me. I have never known love before, but I know 
that is what I feel for you. And...and I'd like you to show me more...if...if that's 
what you would like," Faramir said softly. He was nervous, and in truth was still 
sore, but he wanted