Title: Christmas at Bag End  
Author: Aderin Iris (aderiniris@hotmail.com)  
Pairings: Frodo/Sam, Folco/Fredegar, Merry/Pippin  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Christmas Eve at Bag End in the form of a poem.  
Authors Note: This was written with the tune of “While Shepherds 
Watched Their Flocks By Night” in mind, but this gets quite monotonous 
as this whole thing is twenty four verses long, so it’s also fine 
without the melody. It was also written quite quickly, so please excuse 
any errors or squished rhymes (I was careful with the squishing of the 
rhymes though...not too many, I don’t think...). Basically, enjoy, it’s 
just a bit of fun, and please send me any feedback you have!  
 
 
On Christmas Eve, six hobbits sat  
Around a roaring fire –  
Merry, Pippin and Fredegar,  
Folco, Frodo, Samwise.  
 
They sat and talked of many things –  
Of food and drink and sex.  
Well, after all, they’re in their tweens,  
What else do you expect?  
 
Then Frodo said, with gleaming eye,  
“I know where Bilbo stores  
Compromising pictures of elves,  
Men, hobbits, even dwarves!”  
 
Freddy and Folco shook their heads  
And Merry followed suit.  
Pippin declined, though secretly  
He yearned to see the loot.  
 
Sam looked up, curiosity  
Inflamed by Frodo’s words.  
He said he’d like to see the things  
Of which he had just heard.  
 
Then Frodo grinned, and led his friend  
Out of the cosy room.  
They crept through the dark corridors,  
Half shadowed by the gloom.  
 
Then giggling as if they’d had  
A bit too much mulled wine,  
They slipped into Bilbo’s study,  
Now partners in the crime.  
 
Then Frodo found the stack of smut;  
They looked through them with smiles.  
Who would have guessed bows and arrows  
Could be used in that style?  
 
Sam looked amazed and said, “Can you  
Really have guys with guys?”  
Frodo answered, “I don’t know but  
I know I’d like to try!”  
 
Sam was surprised, but didn’t want  
To let the moment pass.  
He locked Frodo into a kiss  
And squeezed his master’s arse.  
 
Back at the fire, Folco announced  
That he would go to bed.  
Fredegar quickly looked around.  
“I’ll walk you there,” he said.  
 
The couple went to Folco’s room,  
The fourth one on the right.  
“Well,” Folco said reluctantly,  
“I guess this is goodnight.”  
 
“Wait!” Fredegar said suddenly.  
“I think I’d rather like  
To give you your Christmas gift now,  
If that would be alright.”  
 
Then Folco sighed, “There’s only one thing  
That I want from you.”  
Then Freddy gasped and said, “You mean  
That you would like that too?  
 
I’ve loved you since we were quite young,  
Seduced by all your charms!”  
Then Folco bravely took Freddy  
And wrapped him in his arms.  
 
There were only two hobbits left  
Sitting up in the night,  
When Merry said to Peregrin,  
“I’m starved, let’s grab a bite!”  
 
Pippin agreed, always ready  
To eat another meal.  
They both wandered to the pantry  
To see what they could steal.  
 
Merry stepped onto a large box  
(To survey the whole room),  
And Pippin saw his silhouette  
Outlined against the moon.  
 
As Pippin gazed upon his friend  
He thought, “For you I pine.  
I wish that I could speak my thoughts –  
I wish you could be mine.”  
 
Pippin dejectedly bit in  
To a cream bun he’d found.  
“Why, Pippin!” Meriadoc cried  
As he jumped to the ground.  
 
“What is it?” Pippin asked, wishing  
Merry wasn’t so fair.  
“You’ve got some cream,” his friend explained,  
“Around your mouth – just there...”  
 
With that, Merry leaned towards him  
And softly kissed his lips.  
When finally they broke apart,  
He breathed, “I love you, Pip.”  
 
“I love you too!” Pippin then cried,  
“I know it, though I’m young.”  
And so the two of them then spent  
The night among the buns.  
 
And so with hobbits neatly paired  
And having lots of fun,  
All I have left to say is  
Merry Christmas, everyone!