Do not despair Author Elizabeth Coffey Email elizabeth@markcuk.demon.co.uk Pairing Frodo and Sam Rated R for talk about suicide Summary Frodo contemplates ending his life, Sam is there for him Title Do Not Despair Frodo and Sam had just returned to the shire after their quest to destroy the ring. And after meeting Merry and Pippin in the Golden Dragon for a few beers they were walking back to Bagend. “Well, see you tomorrow Sam” Frodo said as he opened his front gate. “Well..if your sure Mr Frodo..” Sam said looking at the ground. Frodo turned to Sam and lifted his head. “What do you mean Sam?” Sam looked into his masters blue eyes and blushed. 'Dear Sam what's wrong?” “Well, we're 'ome now and your safe now the rings been destroyed..” “What are you trying to say” Frodo said gravely. “You won't need me anymore” Sam looked at Frodo as he said this. “Oh Sam I will..don't say that” “Sorry, sorry Mr Frodo..” Sam turned away from his masters shocked face and wiped a tear from his eye. “Sam?” “I'll be off then, give my love to Bilbo” with that he left his master and headed home. All Frodo could do was watch him leave. With a deep sigh he walked up to his front door and knocked. His uncle Bilbo opened it and seeing Frodo he took him in his arms. “Your back my dear boy, I missed you” Frodo didn't answer but instead burst into tears. “Frodo, lad whatever's got you so upset” “Bilbo, it's Sam he's gone” “What do you mean?” “He said..I didn't need..him anymore” he sobbed. “Sam didn't mean that Frodo, he'll come back you'll see. Come into the lounge sit by the fire, I'll fix you some tea”, Bilbo said as he led Frodo to the chair by the log fire. Frodo ate the tea his uncle gave him then he went up to run himself a bath before bed. “Frodo!” called his uncle. “Yes uncle!” “I've got to..well Gandalf he wants me to go to the grey havens in a month” “Oh, allright uncle” “Sorry lad but you'll have Sam, listen I'm going to..well I want to travel a bit so I'm leaving now and I'll be back in month” “Bye uncle” Frodo went into the bathroom before his uncle could answer. Bilbo left Bagend. Frodo lay back in the hot water and he thought about the quest and Sam, a tear came to his eye. He sat up and cried out in pain as his shoulder hurt where the Ringwraith had stabbed him. “Oh Sam, please come back..” he felt sad. Bilbo and Sam had left him and he was still in pain with his shoulder. He thought about ending his life, after all he would be going to the grey havens with his uncle in one month, where you never return from. He knew it was where you went to die. Sam was on his way to Frodo's he felt guilty about leaving him earlier. He arrived at bagend and opened the door. “Frodo, it's Sam!” he called. Frodo was by the bath sitting wrapped in a towel with a razor in his hand. He was staring ahead as if in a trance. Sam went upstairs and saw the bathroom light was on, he slowly opened the door and saw his master with the razor at his wrist. He ran to Frodo and grabbed his hand. “Frodo, let me have the razor” said Sam gently. His master didn't answer just stared at him. Gently Sam took the razor from Frodo and put it safely back in the cabinet, then he turned back to Frodo. “Come on Mr Frodo, lets get you dressed into your nightshirt” Frodo let Sam dress him and lead him to his bedroom. “Sam, why did you come back?” “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you” “Bilbo's gone, just leave me..” “Never, I'm never going to leave you” Frodo sighed the deepest sigh Sam had ever heard, then tried to get out of Sam's grasp. “What are you doing?” “Let me go Sam!” Frodo struggled “I don't understand Mr Frodo” “I want to die, oh Sam..I.. he fell to his knees in tears. Sam quickly took his master in his arms and held him as he sobbed with despair. “Frodo me dear, don't cry, you don't want to die, I..don't want you to die,, please Frodo” said Sam. “Oh Sam, dear Sam in a month I'll be going with Bilbo to the grey havens..” “I don't understand” “Sam, I'm not coming back..I'm going to the undying lands Sam” A look of realisation came over Sam's face. “No..I mean your safe now” “My shoulder still hurts, Gandalf said it always will he wants me to go Sam, I'm sorry” “Oh..so why” Frodo looked at Sam with sad eyes. “I'm going to die soon Sam, I may aswell get it over with..” “No..Frodo, don't say that, I'd be sad if you killed yourself..I'd miss you..I love you” Sam looked down then. “Sam..look at me” Sam lifted his head and looked into Frodo's blue eyes. “You love me Sam?” “..yes” “I never knew, I mean since when” “Since on the quest..I realised how much you meant to me” Frodo was shocked he had never realised Sam had feelings for him. He thought they were just friends. “I'm sorry Mr Frodo, I shouldn't have..” “No sam, dear Sam it's okay..I love you too Sam” He took Sam's face in his hands and kissed him on the forehead. Sam gasped at Frodo's gentle kiss. Then they found each others lips and kissed the sweetest kiss Sam had ever known. Frodono longer wanted to die he now only wanted Sam. The End.