Title: Elrond’s keep fit scroll Author: Chaotic-Binky Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Erestor/Glorfindel, Elrond/Celebrian (no het), Galadriel/Celeborn (no het) Summary: Erestor and Glorfindel read Elrond’s previously locked away secret scroll. Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, I just dream about them! Warnings: AU. M/M, slash, anal, Glorfindel and Erestor were sitting at a desk together, in the library, reading a scroll and tittering. ‘Oh look! This is a good one’ said Glorfindel pointing at a particular place on the scroll; Erestor snorted with laughter so loudly that Melpomaen the head librarian felt that he just had to go and tell them to be quiet. ‘My Lords; this is a library and we are not supposed to make too much noise’ he said quietly hoping they would both get the hint, ‘this really is not library behaviour, now is it?’ ‘Mel don’t be such a Mr. Stiffypants’ laughed Erestor ‘Just look at this’ he gestured towards a particular place on the scroll and in spite of himself Melpomaen started to quietly giggle. ‘You can laugh out loud’ offered Glorfindel ‘we won’t tell anyone’ ‘Where did you get this from?’ asked Melpomaen. ‘Elrond’s personal shelf’ replied Erestor ‘But it’s locked – I have the key myself’ ‘Nothing remains locked to the Chief Advisor Mel’ laughed Erestor waggling his own version of the key. All three then sat together and in various turns each pointed to places on the scroll; the resultant explosions of uncontrolled laughter to the point of tears brought an irate Elrond out of his office. He stormed over to the small group and said in a very loud voice ‘Well?’ ‘Well what?’ asked Glorfindel feigning innocence. ‘What are you all laughing so loudly for’ Elrond asked slowly and deliberately, as though seeking information off a small human child. ‘We are laughing at this scroll Elrond’ braved Erestor ‘let me quote: Lord Elrond’s personal fitness plan – Yes you too can have a body like the famous Lord of Imladris’ At this point Elrond snatched at the scroll and Erestor wasn’t letting go ‘Help me Fin’ he shrieked. Glorfindel went to Elrond’s side ‘Let go of it Elrond or else I will have to kiss you’ ‘You wouldn’t dare; Erestor would kill you’ ‘Kiss him, kiss him’ Melpomaen and Erestor chanted together. ‘Get away Glorfindel’ threatened Elrond ‘if Erestor doesn’t kill you I will myself’ ‘You won’t be able to Elrond. In the past you could have done’ laughed Glorfindel and poked Elrond in the belly, which rippled ‘but now you need to follow your own fitness plan, getting a bit pounds heavy aren’t you?’ ‘How dare you’ Elrond exploded ‘this is all muscle’ ‘Let go of the scroll Elrond or else I will carry out my threat’ smirked Glorfindel. ‘You had better let go Erestor, or else!’ Elrond warned then his eyes went wide as he was held in strong arms and kissed. Elrond tried to yell for help, he really did, but found it hard to make any coherent noise at all with Glorfindels lips clamped over his own. He tried to beat off the large body against him but found he just didn’t have the strength; in the past he wouldn’t have had this problem. He let go of the scroll. The kiss ended ‘Are you going to stop being so precious now?’ Elrond nodded angrily that he would and he was released. He slumped down into the chair and looked defeated ‘If Celebrian gets to hear of this I will poison all three of you. That, I can do!’ Erestor gave Elrond a sympathetic smile ‘Look you used to have the body on this scroll and there is no reason why you can’t be as fit again’ ‘I’m always too busy, otherwise I would. Do you think I like being this heavy or this weak?’ ‘You can delegate My Lord, no need to do as much as you do on your own’ offered Melpomaen ‘I would be glad to take some of your work, my assistants run this library so I have very little to do’ ‘We could train in private if you want’ Glorfindel offered. ‘Alright’ agreed Elrond heavily ‘I leave it to you to work out the details’ he stood up and with a slumping posture he went to walk away. Erestor put his arms around the defeated form in front of him ‘Elrond, we weren’t laughing at you but at the scroll. Why did you write a scroll like this if it wasn’t for public reading?’ Safe from the confines of Erestors hug which was reinforced by Glorfindel and Melpomaen Elrond replied ‘I didn’t write the scroll, Thranduil had it written because I refused to marry him’ the others looked confused and to answer their questioning glances Elrond continued ‘Thranduil wasn’t always as slim as he is now – I refused him because he was extremely lazy and morbidly obese.’ ‘Was I dead at the time?’ asked Glorfindel. Elrond sighed heavily and sat down at the desk; the others sat too. ‘I thought that was just rumour’ said Erestor to Elrond ‘although for about two centuries Thranduil didn’t step outside his kingdom – no one saw him, apart from you that it seems.’ ‘We met once in secret – Oropher was very eager to make a match between us; I saw him and was repulsed, he was so lazy he wouldn’t walk anywhere and was carried by several servants on a bed slung between two poles; he actually boasted that he hadn’t walked for the past five years, apparently he was rich enough and important enough not to have to. Thranduil said he thought I wouldn’t be so discriminating being as I am peredhel.’ ‘What an awful situation Elrond – it doesn’t matter how you look or what your makeup is we still love you.’ Erestor empathised. The others nodded in agreement. ‘Well…I have to lose this weight; he will positively die with laughter if he sees me like this’ Elrond looked unhappy but was secretly glad that the issue had been forced – now he would have to get back into shape especially as there was to be a meeting of the elven kingdoms the next year. It was highly likely Thranduil would be there. ‘Why don’t we destroy this scroll’ asked Glorfindel. ‘I keep it in the vain hope that one day Thranduil will get overweight again and I can send it back to him.’ laughed Elrond ‘You don’t need this Elrond – by next year you are going to be so sleek and gorgeous that you will be the object of this scroll personified’ Glorfindel added that he thought Elrond was nearly there anyway. ‘I will dispose of it’ said Erestor firmly taking the scroll and putting it inside his robe ‘now, let us all go to lunch where I can be your personal food advisor Elrond’ A year later at the Meeting of the Elven Kingdoms in Lothlorien, Elrond and his party arrived on their horses complete with the colours and banners of Imladris and various others belonging to the past histories of the accompanying Elf Lords who had all sworn fealty to their Ruler. They were an impressive sight but especially so was the Lord of Imladris himself. He was beautiful, grace personified, elegant and sleek. Galadriel stared open mouthed ‘Look at him Celeborn – he is lovely’ she salivated. Celeborn looked with feasting eyes ‘I would give him one’ he chuckled. Galadriel looked disgusted ‘Shut up – he’s our daughter’s husband’ ‘Lucky her’ was the retort. The party dismounted – were greeted properly and shown to their talans to freshen up. Elrond was so happy ‘Ha! Did you see their faces Celebrian?’ ‘I am so proud of you my love – I can barely stop looking at you myself’ she grinned ‘I am so glad I told Erestor about the scroll – I knew he would know what to do with it’ Elrond was shocked ‘I should be really angry with you my sweet one’ he twined his fingers through her hair ‘I really do think you should pay for your actions you little minx’ Celebrian leaned closer, ‘Shall we play little red riding hood and the great big warg my love – I will let you be the warg this time’ she offered. Elrond gave a wide grin and chased his wife up the stairs to their rooms. Later that night Glorfindel and Erestor had just settled into bed when Erestor took a large scroll and nudged Glorfindel ‘Remember this?’ he asked. ‘I thought you destroyed it’ murmured Glorfindel whose hands were already stroking Erestors chest. ‘Too funny to destroy’ squeaked Erestor as Glorfindel tweaked his nipple. ‘Put it down – you don’t need it my love, I will keep you fit’ grinned Glorfindel. The scroll dropped by the side of the bed and Erestor put his arms around Glorfindels neck, pulled him down and marked him with a bite. They kissed and stroked each others bodies; each feeding the others passion, with soft exhalations and cries as they consumed each other with caresses, kisses, sucking bites and licks. Erestor flipped Glorfindel over on to his back. ‘Bring your legs up my love’ he breathed heavily. Glorfindel complied and exposed his most private place to Erestors eyes. Erestor flipped the cork off a small bottle of oil and poured some on to his fingers. Glorfindel watched expectantly and with mounting excitement. He cried out when Erestor licked the underside of his arousal and took it into his mouth; then he grabbed Erestors hair as his small pink ring was massaged and a finger was inserted. ‘Don’t make me wait’ he begged ‘take me now’ ‘Shh! my love, very soon I will be slamming my huge cock into you, you need just a little more patience’ Glorfindel groaned ‘You are cruel’ then cried as waves of rippling pleasure spread through his body as Erestor touched his prostate. A second, then third finger was added as Erestor looked intently and with love at Glorfindel ‘Please, Erestor’ ‘Please what my love’ teased Erestor softly ‘Please, please, please take me before I go insane’ Erestor oiled himself as Glorfindel stared wide eyed with anticipation and strained his legs further upwards and apart. Erestor positioned himself and gently entered Glorfindel. He buried himself all the way to the hilt and stopped as he watched Glorfindel exhale and felt the tight heat around him relax. He withdrew and pushed again positioning at just the right angle to hit Glorfindels prostate at every thrust. Glorfindel never ceased to be amazed at the extent of the fullness he felt when Erestor took him and how that hardness within could always give him such incredible and exquisite pleasure. Erestor could play his body to achieve extreme heights of ecstasy and knew just when to speed up or slow down and when to be rough or gentle. Erestor thrust with quickening speed and very soon was slamming into Glorfindel body with extreme force. Glorfindel yelled his pleasure and held his own arousal and began to pump it up and down. Erestor put his hand over Glorfindels and looked him in they eyes ‘Come for me my love’ he panted and Glorfindel came with a roar. Erestor felt the contractions around his own hardness and yelled his orgasm to the whole of Lothlorien; he then collapsed onto Glorfindels chest breathing heavily. ‘I love you so much Fin’ he exhaled as he softened and slipped out of Glorfindel. ‘I love you too Erestor’ said Glorfindel barely able to control his breathing. They held one another tightly until they fell into reverie – it had been a hard day; they could clean up the next morning. The next day Thranduil’s party arrived. Thranduil was accompanied by his son Legolas who was sitting astride a large black horse. After they dismounted they were greeted by Galadriel and Celeborn who then led Thranduil and his son to Elrond and Celebrian for them to greet him too. ‘Greetings Thranduil’ smiled Elrond ‘It is very good to see you again’ Thranduil couldn’t stop staring ‘You look even better than when I last saw you, how is that possible?’ ‘Maybe it was the keep fit scroll you sent me?’ Elrond rejoined sweetly. Thranduil went red ‘I was foolish to do that Elrond; I was young, spoilt and unfeeling. However; I think I have shaped up well too don’t you think’. ‘You look stunning’ exclaimed Celebrian. ‘And you, My Lady, you are very beautiful’ complimented Thranduil, who then kissed the back of her fingers. The party moved further down the line to be greeted by the other Lords and officials in attendance. ‘Gods, he is handsome’ exclaimed Celebrian ‘how could you say no to that?’ ‘He wasn’t like that then’ Elrond replied. ‘I’m glad you refused, I have the most handsome elf here all to myself’ she grinned wickedly. ‘Behave’ Elrond smirked. Weeks later back in Imladris Erestor looked for Elrond’s scroll. ‘Fin, I can’t find that scroll anywhere’ he said in a state of near panic. ‘When did you last see it?’ ‘In Lothlorien, remember?’ ‘Was it left down the side of the bed by any chance?’ ‘Yes’ squeaked Erestor hopefully. ‘Celeborn asked me for it to draw a map upon – he didn’t have any spare parchment on him’ Glorfindel offered as an excuse. ‘Shit! How could you be so stupid’ screamed Erestor Glorfindel put his arms around Erestors rigid, angry body ‘Look there are many ways we can get out of this – there could have been two copies for instance – or you meant to destroy it but were waylaid, any number of excuses can suffice’ ‘Elrond is going to be so angry’ ‘Erestor everything will be alright trust me. Galadriel and Celeborn are very discreet, you know this. They will not do anything to cause embarrassment.’ Back in Lothlorien Galadriel and Celeborn were reading a particular parchment together and screaming with laughter at the various drawings and writings about their son in law. ‘Definitely one for our private collection my dear’ laughed Celeborn ‘lets lock this away and get it out when we need our next belly laugh. Sweet of Glorfindel to give it to me wasn’t it?’