Title: Equal Night Author: Caranfiniel Email: Caranfiniel@aol.com Rating: R Pairings: Erestor/Glorfindel, Elladan/Elrohir implied Summary: A glimpse into Erestor and Glorfindel’s secret relationship mirrors a much larger reality. Beta: Special thanks to Joey! Disclaimer: I don't own what i write about. That's why we are the fans... we did not think of or discover these things first. Warnings: Hints of BDSM Author's Notes: Elvish translations: coranar – “sun-round”, astronomical year; ethuil and iavas – spring and fall (respectively); mela/melamin – love/my love; Menelmacar – constellation Orion; Valacirca – constellation Ursa Major Erestor reaches out and dips a mithril-tipped pen into an ornate inkwell. He lets it hover over the well for a half-moment, the excess droplet slips off the nib. Erestor's eyes are lightly lidded, the better to center his thoughts before his fluid script decorates the page in glossy black script. He writes in his journal: ******* He will slip through that curtain soon. I hope he hasn’t changed; he looked so perfect in his blue robes tonight. Not that it will matter much, stitchery has little to do with what we are here for. Damn this night, my heart beats so uncertainly. All through dinner I could only watch him and know what his coming this night would bring. How easy it would be for me to say I despise it, that I only want to get through this and return to our routine, the set pattern I am used to. That is what I want to say. It is not what I feel. This, in truth and by far, is one of two of my most cherished nights in the coranar. This night, we are equals. Only twice per coranar does this occur, on the beginning days of ethuil and iavas. The rest of the time there is always an imbalance of power. Since Midwinter night my power over him has gradually waned. No, he has not gained any power of me, but after this night, he will. Incrementally, slowly, but undeniably. It will start with something as inconspicuous as him grasping my wrists when he kisses me. His kisses will become more assertive. He will mark me with his teeth. On it will go like that until Midsummer, when Glorfindel’s power over me will be at its fullest. Then, little by little shall his dominance diminish, until we come again to Equal Night. And then it is again my turn. Do we choose this pattern? I would not say that we do. I have always believed that it chose us, for I would not admit to choosing him as my lover. Oh, how this night terrifies me, for I did choose him, in my heart, and tonight I *shall* acknowledge that, I always do. None know of this. None at all, not even Elrond. They believe that we dislike each other, Glorfindel and I, for we spat frequently by day. It never means anything, though we are both so established at our roles that it comes almost naturally. But by night all is different, and although it is only twice that we justly recognize it, there is intense love between us, even when I have him skillfully suspended between agony and ecstasy. I am tempted to entertain the notion that if any learned of this, of us, that the delicate dance between light and dark that men so dispassionately refer to as a year would falter…. ********* Erestor stops, hearing the whisper of the curtain drawn back. “Erestor,” he hears murmured, and without turning, he dips his pen in a cleansing solution, sets it aside and dusts what he has written with fine sand. He rises, his rich, dark robes fall open, revealing his pleasingly toned chest. He faces his lover and cannot hold back a smile as love, pure love, wells within. They move toward one another and embrace as though they had not come together in years. Glorfindel raises a hand to comb through Erestor’s long sable locks. Erestor leans into the loving touch and reciprocates by initiating a deep kiss. By the time he slowly draws back the words are all but clawing to be uttered. Glorfindel speaks first though. “You are everything to me,” Glorfindel whispers against Erestor’s pointed ear. “I adore this night and what it brings us. You are the one certainty in my life, Erestor.” Erestor feels himself growing almost light-headed and reaches for Glorfindel’s hand, beckoning him to the chaise where they lay in each other’s arms. “I love everything about you,” Glorfindel says simply, his clear blue eyes plainly captivated by the councilor in his arms. Erestor has yet to speak. Instead he silently sinks deeper into their embrace. Glorfindel brushes stray raven strands behind his lover's ear-point and tenderly guides Erestor's head to rest against his shoulder. Finally Erestor speaks so quietly that Glorfindel almost doesn’t catch what he says. “I do not wish to have to wait until autumn to have a night like this again.” Glorfindel is startled to hear such strain in Erestor’s voice and when he looks down at his snuggled lover he finds crystalline teardrops slipping from those beautiful obsidian eyes. “Erestor, mela, what troubles you?” Erestor looks down, surprised at himself for letting these emotions get the better of him. But this is what this night all about, after all, just as Glorfindel said. It is a night when the masks are removed and they are no longer Erestor, Chief Councilor and Glorfindel, Seneschal of Imladris, but Elf and Elf, in love and beloved. Erestor glances up again to meet Glorfindel’s concerned sapphire gaze. “I am not troubled,” he sighs. “It is just that… this is so perfect. This is what I want our love to be, every night. And every day as well. I weary of keeping our love hidden away. I want to tell all of Arda that I love you. I want to be held by you in the Hall on the high days.” Erestor laughed quietly, “I want the twins to tease us and to pretend to be ill when they see us holding hands.” Glorfindel smiled softly. “I want all those things too. I always thought that you did not though, and I never minded keeping the secret for you. Perhaps at breakfast on the morrow, then?” Erestor shook his head slowly. “I don’t know if I can, I don’t know if we can. It has been like this for so long, what if it goes wrong if we try to change it? I could never bear losing you. You see, this rhythm is from the very earth, we are a part of it, it is in us. This is what we are.” Glorfindel curiously looks at Erestor for a moment, silken blond strands framing his handsome face. Just the slight arch of his eyebrows is enough to give Erestor a blissful death and rebirth. “I have often thought of it,” Glorfindel says at length. “I am like day, you, like night. The duality between us is poignantly beautiful. We balance each other so perfectly. Perhaps you are right, that this must go on just as it always has.” “I know it must, Glorfindel, melamin,” Erestor says, a bittersweet light in his eyes. “Tonight we love, more strongly and radiantly, unreservedly, as one. Tomorrow night,” Erestor paused, a somewhat different gleam infusing into his gaze, “the first note for the seductive dance is struck again.” Glorfindel smiles slightly. Had it not been for that oh-so-familiar look in his lover’s eyes just then, he would have protested. But just that glint, that likely only he would have noticed at all, was enough to tell him that, yes, deep within, Erestor desired their power shifting just as much as he did himself. Erestor gently nuzzles Glorfindel’s throat, his nose nudging the cobalt hued robes off his lover’s strong shoulder, he leaves a soft kiss at Glorfindel’s collarbone. “Let us love, let us receive all from one another tonight. I love you so, my equal.” Eagerly Glorfindel sealed his lips to Erestor’s. Yes, the pattern would hold, he thought, that was just the way it was. Anyone might wish that Middle- earth would never turn from the blossoming season, but it always did. And for as beautiful as one season was, the next always brought something special and unique. The change was constant and necessary. They would miss the Menelmacar in the heavens without the winter months, or the Valacirca without the summer. “What shall we argue about on the morrow?” Erestor asked teasingly as Glorfindel’s skilled hands explored the contours of his thighs while removing the black velvet leggings. “That you are too good in bed,” Glorfindel breathed, trailing his moistened lips along Erestor’s strong erection. Erestor’s hips surged upward as Glorfindel suckled at the very base of his cock. Erestor laughed contentedly. “Let me remove those leggings from you, I wish to return that favor!” In the darkness outside of Erestor’s private chambers Elrohir waved excitedly to his brother, but put a finger to his lips to indicate silence. “You won’t believe this…!” Elrohir breathed against Elladan’s ear, lips curving in a mischievous smirk.