SONGFIC: Heaven Author: Lairéwen Email: lairewen01@yahoo.com Pairing: Glorfindel/Erestor Summary: When everything’s gone, all you have are memories. Rating: R Warnings: Character death Authors notes: This is my first attempt at slash. I'd really like to know what you think! Email me your opinions PLEASE! Hey, I'm not above begging! The story itself is a little depressing, but the plot bunny bit too hard for me to ignore it! Oh, if you think it sucks, please say why ok?! Otherwise I'll never get it right! Thank you SO MUCH to my beta Leanan! I really appreciate it! Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters in this fic, they all belong to Tolkien. The song in this fic is from Hayley Westenra's album `Pure'. *For Tina* Heaven No. That one word ran over and over in his mind. No. This wasn't happening, couldn't possibly be true. Any minute now he'd walk through the door and laugh at him for being so easily fooled. He'd be relieved and then angry, they'd kiss and it would all be over. All over and he could stop living in this nightmare. He closed his eyes, willed it to be so. He didn't hear the soft sound of footfalls, as a figure walked up behind him, didn't react to the gentle voice's concerned questions. Only when a comforting hand was laid gently on his shoulder did he turn to see the one who stood behind him. The sorrow in Elrond's expressive grey eyes brought him painfully back to reality. "It is time mellon nin." He said quietly. Time. Time to accept it, time to rip out the last piece of his heart. Time to say goodbye. Steeling himself, he rose from the chair and turned to face the Lord. His heart beat wildly inside his chest, tears barely contained in his eyes. He nodded and slowly followed the Elven-Lord out of the room. //A star shining in a universe far away, My heart knows that we shall meet again some sweet day// The courtyard was full of elves. There wasn't a spare inch of space available, yet as he walked by with Elrond, they all parted respectfully, allowing him passage. In the centre of the circular courtyard lay a platform made of wood. Atop the platform was a long woven wicker basket, covered by white silk that did little to hide the still form in the coffin. A form that had been full of life just a few short days ago. Life - and love. He remembered. Remembered his lips as he woke him that last morning. How delightful it had been to feign sleep until his lover was leaning right over him, then to reach out suddenly and pull his naked body close. How he'd loved the peals of laughter coming from the ruby lips then, laughter that had turned to moans as he'd engulfed those lips with his own and pulled his beloved's body even closer. He wondered if he'd known somehow, that it was their last day together. But no, his lover had not been gifted with the sight. Still, the passionate lovemaking that had ensued was without doubt the best he'd ever had. Not even on the night of their bonding had it been so good. He hadn't wanted to get up. He could have stayed in that bed all day. He wished now that he had. If he'd stayed, they wouldn't have gone riding, wouldn't have encountered the wraith scouting for the dark lord. Wouldn't have seen him struck down by the morgul sword. His eyes filled with fresh tears at the painful memory. If only he'd sensed it earlier. If only he'd been faster, smarter. But he hadn't been and because of that he'd lost the most precious thing in his life. He tried to force the images from his mind, but he could not. The terrifying sight of the mounted wraith coming towards them was one he'd never be able to forget. Neither had hesitated, both drawing their swords and charging into battle, knowing it was pointless to run. They fought for an age it seemed, trying to destroy the dark servant. It seemed as though they were winning. The wraith was backing off, especially after his lover sent a well-placed arrow into the throat of the demon's unfortunate mount, killing it instantly. He took the opportunity to dismount and strike a piece of flint against some dried wood to start a fire. He rushed towards the wraith with the burning branch, but too late. It recovered quickly and raised its sword. Before his eyes the tragedy played out. His lover saw the danger and grabbed the reigns of his mount, turning the horse around. The wraith had anticipated the move though and swung his sword in an arc. He vaguely remembered screaming as the sword sliced through his mate's stomach before he ran forward and shoved the flames in the wraith's face. It screamed in pain, retreating rapidly then vanishing as if it had never been. He dropped to his knees beside his lover's still form and pulled him into his arms. Trembling, he called to him, begging him to answer. Pale unfocused eyes met his. "Thank the Valar." He whispered. "Come, we must get you back to Lord Elrond." He moved to scoop his mate into his arms, but was stopped by a hand over his own. "It's too late." Came a hoarse whisper. "The wound is too great, even if I do survive, I will become a wraith. I could not bear that." His failing eyes flicked downwards. "Not much chance of that though. I'm sorry love, I'm bleeding all over you." He choked back tears. "Please, no. Don't go. Do not leave me!" "I am sorry meleth." Came the pained reply. "Forgive me." Weak arms reached out and pulled his lover into one last, tender kiss. One final word came from between the wounded Elf's lips and then he succumbed to his injuries. The howl of pain and loss was heard for miles. //And you, you will be the flame that burns in my breast. And oh, I know just by knowing you I was blessed, Yes I was truly blessed// He stood beside his lover's body that been cleaned and prepared for his final journey. Elrond was speaking, talking about his friend's loyalty and warm heart. He didn't hear. As he gazed at the still, silk-shrouded form, his mind was pulled back to the night they had begun their relationship, many centuries ago. The November eve had brought with it a chill wind and a touch of frost. To venture out was folly and so many had found evening pursuits within the shelter of the Last Homely House. They had both retreated to Lord Elrond's library to read, not expecting the other to be there. A game of chess had ensued, an activity in which they were both equally skilled. They were a good match, warrior and scholar, long years of diplomacy had made one a shrewd, careful player, while the other had instincts honed to perfection from long years as a soldier, allowing him to swiftly analyse his opponent's moves. The game had gone on for hours and both were tiring, but neither would forfeit. Move and counter move; it was as intricate as any battle or debate. It was in the early hours of the morning, when both raised their eyes from the board and gazed at each other without a word, both simultaneously reaching for their kings to lay them surrendered upon their sides. He had leaned back and sighed deeply. "Tired?" A voice teased from across the table. He shot the other a withering glare. "It *is* three in the morning Mellon Nin." He had replied dryly, his companion's laughter echoing round the room. "You are weaker than I thought! The night is young yet!" The glare he shot him could have easily frozen the fires of Mount Doom, but his companion had only laughed again. "I suppose you can think of a better way to spend the night hours?" The reply was icily cool. The laughing Elf only nodded confidently. "Oh yes." He replied. "Do tell." He had returned, resigned. To his surprise, the other had not retorted, but had risen from his chair and was now walking towards him. "What are you doing…" He asked, slightly nervous now. "Answering your question." Came the soft reply before ruby lips were pressed firmly over his. His eyes opened wide and his mind told him to move, but his body refused to listen. He moaned in pleasure and deepened the kiss, his arms snaking out to encircle the other's waist. Before he knew what was happening he was being straddled, the other Elf's firm legs snaking round his thighs. Kisses became deeper and more passionate, hands began to wander. Kisses, caresses and moans, it was almost enough to undo them on the spot. There was no doubt as to where this was leading, though he had no desire to partake in that particular act in a library. With great effort, he stood and pulled his partner to his feet and silencing the other with a finger over his lips, shaking his head. "Not here." He whispered. "My quarters." The other nodded assent and he took him by the hand and led him to his rooms. //Heaven, Heaven, ooh waiting there for me Heaven, Heaven, ooh always let it be// That had been the beginning. Soon they realised that what they had was more that lust, it was love… and now that love was gone. At a gesture from Elrond, he stepped up to the pyre and pulled back a little of the silken shroud, revealing his beloved's pale face. Shaking, he placed a gentle, chaste kiss on his forehead. Then he stepped back and covered his love again. Elrond handed him a torch, the handle carved of white ivory, the top burning with a golden flame. Tears stung hot in his eyes as he lowered the torch and lit the pyre, committing his beloved to the flames. As the fire engulfed the still figure he let his last good-bye slip from his lips. "Naamarie, meleth nin." It seemed like they had only been together for a moment in time and he could still clearly recall their bonding day twelve hundred years ago. He laughed as he pulled his lover close. "There is no getting rid of me now!" "That suits me!" Came the affectionate reply. "Why should I ever wish to be apart from you?" He had answered that question with a deep loving kiss. Normally he was a little more reserved about public displays of affection, but today it did not matter. Today was their day. The music began and he found himself pulled into a lively dance. Grinning, he grabbed his mate round the waist and pulled him close. Arms wrapped around his neck and they danced wildly, to the cheers and applause of the others. The celebrations had gone on for long into the night. However, they had slipped off just before midnight, to the luxurious celebration chambers reserved especially for occasions such as this. The huge bed took up most of the room; the space that was left was lavishly decorated with carved white furniture and snowy satin. Thick drapes at the window shielded the room from prying eyes and bowls of ripe fruits and sweets covered a long table along with several bottles of Rivendell's finest wine. All this went unnoticed however, as the couple had eyes only for each other. He pressed his lips to his mate's, gently easing his tongue into the other's mouth. Lips parted and his tongue began a through exploration, while his hands began to divest his lover of his celebratory robes. His partner returned the favour and it was not long before they were both naked and entwined within the other's embrace. He found himself being gently guided to the bed and pressed into the silky sheets. Warm lips trailed kisses from his forehead, moving to his eyes and lingering there for a moment. Then the sensual mouth continued, raining the lightest of kisses on his lips. As he resumed his exploration of his lover's body, his mouth moved down across the expanse of his mate's chest, making him gasp with pleasure. Further he travelled, feather-like kisses making hid beloved tremble as they trailed across his abdomen. He gave a low cry as the kisses reached his arousal and he grabbed hold of his lover's shoulders and pulled him close. "By the Valar, I love you." He moaned hoarsely. A low chuckle came in reply. "I love you too. Now let me prove it." Moving until he was astride his mate's thighs, he leaned down, kissing him thoroughly before slipping between his open legs. A hand moved and he gasped as gentle fingers wrapped around his aching arousal and began to stroke softly. He moaned, the sound muffled as his mate's kiss engulfed his mouth completely. The kiss ended too soon and he groaned at the loss thought it soon became a cry of pleasure when his mate moved down and took him boldly into his mouth. He bucked his hips and groaned as he was brought to the edge of his desire by his lover's thorough attention. With a ragged cry his release washed over him, his erratic breathing halting his speech. Pleased, his bonded reached over and palmed the bottle of vanilla- scented oil that had been placed there by a considerate servant. Sitting up, he coated his own arousal with the sweet scented fluid, before shifting and gently rolling his lover on to his stomach. Grasping his hips he positioned himself by his lover's entrance. With a single firm thrust he slid fully into his partner's warmth. He felt his lover slide into him and he groaned. "Ai, please," he moaned softly. "Hush." Came the voice as it purred against his ear. "All things come to those who wait." With that he began to move, slowly at first, but then increasing in speed and rhythm. He moved with smooth carefully positioned thrusts, trying to give his mate as much pleasure as possible. He moaned as his lover moved against him, feeling the sweet pleasure increase with each thrust. He felt himself grow hard again, despite having come so recently and as his lover screamed his name and shuddered deep within him, he felt his own control slipping, though he had no complaints. To lose control to his bonded lover was something he would always willingly submit to. He let out a small gasp as his mate collapsed onto his back. Rolling over carefully, so as not to move his lover too much, he shifted onto his back and held his bonded close on top of him. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?" He grinned at the figure atop him. "Not in the last few minutes!" Came the cheeky reply. He laughed and pulled his lover against him for a deep kiss. "Well then," he whispered, "I had best prove my love to you as you have just proved yours to me!" With that, he proceeded to show his new mate just how much he meant to him until they were both utterly spent. Exhausted, they drifted into sleep still wrapped in each other's arms. //So why, tell me why the good die young my old friend I pray that heaven waits for everyone in the end// Tears fell unchecked down his face as the pyre burned steadily. He cared not who saw his grief, they had never hidden their love before, he would not hide it now. His breathing was ragged; he had to force the air into his lungs. Breathing felt like such an effort now that his heart was gone. He felt Elrond lay his hand on his forearm. "Why?" He choked. "Why was he taken?" He had become so protected from death in the last peaceful centuries. Death had been all but forgotten, an easy thing when one was immortal, but all the more painful when it did strike, for when an eternal flame is extinguished, it is a young death, no matter the age. "I wish I had the answers mellon nin." Elrond replied. "No-one knows why these things happen. But I know in my heart that this is not the end. The Valar are not that cruel. You will be with him again, of that I am sure." He turned pain-filled eyes to the Lord. "You truly believe that?" He asked softly and Elrond nodded. "Aye. It may be many years, longer even, but you will hold him in your arms again when he is released at last to Valinor. Then eternity will be yours and this heartache will be but a distant memory. But until that day comes, you must be strong and hold true to your love. I know it will not be easy, sometimes I think I cannot last another day without Celebrian, but you can, you must, make it through. You are not alone. I will be here for you whenever you need me." He nodded, moving his hand to cover Elrond's. "Thank you." He whispered and Elrond offered a soft smile in reply. They stood for many hours, watching the flames and even after all the others had gone, they remained, until the fire was nothing more than smoke and ash. "It grows cold," Elrond said softly. "We should go inside." "You go my friend. I wish to spend some time alone." He said quietly. Elrond nodded. "You know where I am should you need me." Replied the Elven Lord as he turned and left his friend to walk back towards the House. He stood, still staring at the smoke from the pyre. In the plumes he thought he could see his beloved's face as he slowly drifted up to the heavens, through the darkening sky. //And love, love is how we cross that bridge to the light A star that is what you are in my darkest night Be always by my side// He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again, the smoke was all but gone and the sky was completely dark. Matted clouds had settled over the night sky, hiding even Ithil's glow. "Where are you?" He whispered and as if in answer to his question, a gentle breeze wafted across the sky, clearing a few of the clouds. In the tiny expanse of night now visible, something glittered. A single star, brighter than a silmaril to his eyes, glowed in the heavens. Not Earendil, the position was wrong, but an entirely new star, the only one to shimmer in the velvet blackness. His eyes locked upon it, drinking in its brightness, letting it cast a light on his gloomy heart. "Is it you?" He asked softly, knowing he would get no reply. He hardly dared hope, though it was possible, he surmised. If Elrond's father was up there, why could not his beloved dwell there as well? He felt suddenly comforted by that thought. Elrond had claimed his father was always nearby, that anytime he wanted to see him, he just had to look to the night sky. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he stared at the silver orb. It seemed to be directly above him, no matter where he moved. Guiding him, watching him. "Oh Valar." He whispered brokenly. "Thank you." He stood standing there for many hours until the night faded and a new day began. As golden light flooded the dawn sky he lost sight of the Silver Star, but his heart felt somewhat lighter. It was still there and he would see it again that night. He would see it every night, until the Valar eventually released his love from the Grey Halls. Until then, he would take his strength from the light, allow it to be a constant reminder of what they had and would have again, just as Elrond had said. //Heaven, Heaven, ooh waiting there for me Heaven, Heaven, ooh always let it be// The wait would be long and he knew that. But as the sun rose higher in the sky, he began to feel more confident that he could do this. His beloved had never been afraid of anything; it would not do for him to start fearing the future now. He would honour his mate's memory and he would be strong. Taking in a deep breath of early-morning air, he strode purposefully to the gardens where he had made his bonding request. He came to the tree they had been sitting under and knelt. He laid his hand on the bark and remembered the stunned look on his lover's face when he had asked him to become his bonded, and how overjoyed he had felt at the blushing consent he'd received. "I love you so much." He whispered. "I love you too. It surprises me sometimes." Was the reply. He smiled and took the other's hands in his own. "I have a question for you." He said, slightly nervously. "You can ask me anything, you know that." He laughed slightly and freed his right hand, slipping it into his pocket. He emerged holding a small box covered in midnight velvet. He flipped it open to reveal a simple mithril band with a single ruby in the centre. "Then – I would ask if you would consent to bond yourself to me, that we may always be together." He looked into the other's eyes, almost afraid of what he might find. His fears were unfounded though, as the gaze that met his was full only of love and deep joy. "Aye." He replied and smiled. "I will bind myself to you, for all of eternity." His eyes were filled with tears of joy as the mithril band was slipped onto his beloved's finger. He pulled his newly betrothed close and kissed him. "I swear," he whispered, "I will love you for all time. Nothing will ever come between us." Nothing will ever come between us. How well he remembered speaking those words. He stood and held his head up high. He would always hold to that. Their love was too strong to be defeated by death. "I will see you again," he vowed. "Even if I have to wait until the end of time." He smiled softly as the light caught his own bonding ring that was ever a reminder of their love. "Amin mela lle Erestor. Forever." With that, Glorfindel turned, walking towards the house where friends and family were waiting for him. For until the day came when they would at last be reunited, he would follow Erestor's dying request, the final word he had whispered softly into Glorfindel's ear. "Live." //Heaven, Heaven, ooh waiting there for me Heaven, Heaven, ooh always let it be// *The End* So, what did you think? Did you guess which one died? It's funny, I felt worse about putting Glorfy through all that pain than I did about killing Erestor!