Title: Notes of Lindir, Minstrel of Imladris 
Author: Milly  
Author's Email: ElrohiradoresElladan@gmx.net  
Pairing(s): Lindir/Glorfindel, other elf/elf 
Rating: R  
Summary: It was written for a Halloween challenge, if I wrote it the right 
way it should become spooky...
Warning: Pov, AU, Angst, Char death, incest, others… (Better expect 
everything!) 
Disclaimer: I don’t own anyone or anything in this story.  
Authors Note: This was written as a Halloween challenge fic for the Lindir 
group, I hope you will enjoy it. I was allowed to do anything apart from 
having dwarves appear in the story. So you can imagine it wasn’t all that 
hard… ;)
Oh, this is *au*, I changed facts I know about deliberately whenever I 
needed, if it fitted into the story. I’m sorry if I annoy anyone by doing that. 
:(
Also you might want to know that every elf (apart from Glorfindel and 
parts of Galadriel’s family) is dark-haired. 
Actually this is based on another strange story I wrote while being sick for 
two weeks (paper & pen of course), but I had to change a few things 
about it so it would work for this challenge. ;)
Many thanks to my good friends Mira and Las for being so sweet and 
betaing the story for me. *hugs and kisses her sweets* And to Blue and 
Esteliel for their wonderful comments. It was such fun to write a story 
while having your thoughts on it. And… *smirks* thanks again to Esteliel 
for messing up the story for me. *laughs* You know what I mean. ;)

Notes of Lindir

Imladris, 3rd of May, 2813

I have lived here for two years now.  Forgive me, my name is Lindir and I 
am talking about Imladris. It was my habit to take notes when I was 
younger and lately, I feel that I should resume writing down my thoughts 
again.  I am the minstrel of Imladris, a task that has always filled my heart 
with joy, as in this realm, I find that music is more appreciated than in any 
other place I have seen on Middle-earth. 

Imladris is the most beautiful of all elven realms. Even though the Elves of 
Lórien and Mirkwood would not like to hear that, I presume. But it is true, 
for my heart finds everything it might desire here. The Elves are friendly 
and fair and our ruler, Elrond Peredhil, is most certainly among the wisest 
of our kind. I do not intend to speak less of Galadriel or Thranduil, but I 
have grown to trust in Lord Elrond’s words for they have always proved to 
be true.

However, neither the beauty of Imladris nor the kindest of the other elves 
can compare to Lord Glorfindel, the fairest and most illustrious elf that I 
have ever been allowed to meet. It is not hard to imagine why I fell in love 
with him the moment I met him. Perhaps it was his hair, that rare, golden 
colour which I had never before seen in my life, that drew me to him at 
first. For it is unusual for Elves to be light-haired, although I have been 
told that my Lord’s Lady carried the same trait. But Celebrían of Imladris 
left her home a long time ago and I dare not ask anyone if the rumours of 
her sad fate are true. 

No one here speaks of it, but I think it is true.  Why else would Celebrían’s 
daughter stay by her grandmother’s side and refuse to come back to her 
father? Perhaps, for the comfort she and Galadriel might give each other 
over a terribly sad incident?  Elrond does not speak of it, and Erestor will 
not look up from his work if I ask him, even Glorfindel refuses to tell me 
what happened.  So, I gave up asking questions.

This realm is strange ---wonderful--- but strange, and it carries a hint of 
mystery that scares me at times.  

Glorfindel laughs if I tell him that it scares me, but his eyes have a strange 
expression and his laughter sounds forced to my ears. And though even 
Erestor denies that he has heard of any unusual happenings, I see them 
look at each other, as if some deep, dark secret is being kept from me.

I hear screams at night. Desperate, terrifying screams that no one else 
ever seems to notice. And I hear crying following the screams, as if 
someone was fading from a broken heart. But it is me who is lying next to 
an elf who sometimes has terrible nightmares. 

For Glorfindel, the Balrog Slayer, the elf re-born, who witnessed the death 
of so many of his friends, is my lover. He has been sharing my room and 
my bed for more than a year now. However, it is not he who wakes up 
screaming.  He sometimes cries, but he never screams.   

Erestor once told me that it gave Glorfindel peace to have me around, 
and I am grateful if I mean that much to him. But love is a strong feeling, 
at least that is what my mother told me as soon as she thought me old 
enough to talk about the feelings elder Elves have for each other. 

And she was right. She was a good woman, wise and not as drawn back 
as some of the others I have met. It was her first real advice to me that I 
should care about my feelings, not about what others might think. It 
helped when I considered seducing a male lord of my people, as back 
then I did not know about Lord Elrond and his chief advisor… and I would 
have thought that a warrior like Glorfindel would spend his time with other 
fighters, not with a bard like me. 

But I was wrong about that and I never regretted falling for my incredible 
Balrog Slayer or choosing to live with him. It is just, sometimes, I fear that 
he is keeping secrets from me. There are times when Erestor suddenly 
appears and tells Glorfindel to come and see our Lord. Nothing unusual in 
that, of course, but why does he have to leave at any time of the day, no 
matter if I just want to be alone with him or if we are flirting rather 
intensively?

Well, like I already said, there are things that worry me; otherwise I would 
not write a diary like some young elfling that cannot keep his thoughts 
together if he does not write them down. But I think I should do this more 
often. It is not only enjoyable, but I also feel less frightened by the 
thoughts of what has happened during the last few nights. To my 
surprise, it seems that the screaming becomes more intense during a 
certain time of the year. Even more surprising, is that I at first did not 
notice how strangely disinterested in the matter everyone else seems to 
be.  

I think it is mainly that which upsets me so. To see how Glorfindel 
pretends not to hear the screams, and the way he and the others leave, 
even in the middle of the night. As if they have prisoners they wish to 
torture by robbing them of their sleep. But that is not our way. That is 
what the mortals I read about do to their elven victims. My lover would not 
be cruel towards a prisoner, perhaps on the battlefield, but never if the 
prisoner was at his mercy. I cannot imagine any of my friends to be that 
cruel. 

However, I should stop for today. If I am still writing when Glorfindel 
returns he will laugh at me. I do not want him to read this, it is not written 
for him. I mainly need to do this for my own sanity. It is hard enough to 
remember clearly what happened during the last year and as I intend to 
stay here longer, I should start on my notes now, before I forget about the 
beginnings. 

Glorfindel returns, I should hide this quickly. 

Imladris, 4th of May, 2813
~To mention it to those who couldn’t guess it. Feel free to tell me your 
guesses on who is screaming and why. I have a collection of what my 
friends thought.~

Spending a real night with Glorfindel again proved to be very enjoyable. 
You know if your lover is away that often, safely among friends, but still 
not in your arms, you start to worry that he does not love you that much 
anymore. But last night was perfect. It was not the lovemaking -though I 
presume you could call what we did incredibly nice- no, it was more the 
way I fell asleep in his arms again, protected from whatever might happen 
in the night.

And even as I hear the screams once more, I do not feel as terrible as I 
do if I have to listen to them alone, like I might have to again today. 
Glorfindel said that he will be late today and that I should not wait for him. 
It was as if he had tried his best to make last night wonderful so he could 
dare to leave me again today. 

But do not get me wrong, he is a sweet lover. He remembers my 
begetting day and our first date, our first kiss, and the first time we made 
love, though that does not mean much of course, as we have not been 
together for long. But still it is sweet to have one of the mightiest lords 
among our people kneel before me to surrender a present to me.

I have to admit that I like seeing him kneeling before me. It is a nice 
image, but he is far too strong to enjoy being asked to surrender to me, 
and it would not really be what I wish for either. But it surely would be 
amusing as a thought. You know, me… a simple bard of my people, 
having the Balrog Slayer, the re-born elf… give himself to me, like I would 
give myself to him any night.

Though I did not start taking notes to find out how often Glorfindel and I 
make love.  That is not important, at least not for trying to learn what 
these screams are about. And call me curious or indiscreet, but I would 
like to know what is wrong in the realm I intend to live in, at least until we 
leave for Valinor or until my Lord does not require my skills any longer.

Though I do not wish to think of that, for it would be the end of our 
relationship.  Glorfindel is Elrond’s seneschal, has sworn to protect him; 
he would never leave Elrond’s side to be with me. Aye, I know that he 
does not love me more than his honour and his pledge to stay in Imladris.  
Usually that does not disturb me; but on nights like this, when he does not 
return to my arms and does not intend to return soon; it makes me feel 
alone. 

When I awaken, I sometimes feel his arms around me, even though I 
might have fallen asleep before he returned. Usually, however, he has left 
already, training the guards, discussing things with Erestor or with Elrond, 
or just riding his beloved horse. It is rare that I fall asleep and wake with 
him by my side and I do not dare to tell him that it hurts my feelings. He 
would certainly laugh at me. And if he did not, that would mean I would 
cause him worry and he is far too full of cares already. That is something I 
cannot help him with, as he refuses to trust me with his secrets. 

It is something that I must get used to, as Erestor told me in a soft, 
compassionate voice. But his eyes betrayed him and I realized that he 
saw in me the lover of his best friend, not a bard and neither a good 
friend. He does not care for me at all; he just hopes that I will make 
Glorfindel happy. It seems that no one, apart from Elrond, is as important 
to him as my lovely, golden haired lover. I know that Erestor would protect 
me with his life, but he would not really be doing it for my account, but for 
Glorfindel’s. 

It is a depressing truth, and it caused me to lock myself up and sing and 
draw for hours when I first learned of it two months ago. But now I am 
dealing with it and I will try not to complain about it. At least I seem to 
have proved my worth and that is a nice thought as well. Forgive me. It is 
not my intention to speak about Elrond and Glorfindel that much. Though 
I am sure they are somewhat related to whatever secret exists here. But 
try not to think about the person you love. It is not as easy as it might 
sound. After all Erestor and I have a very common interest. We both want 
to see Glorfindel and Elrond as happy as possible.  Although I do not 
think that anyone has ever really seen Elrond happy for years. 

He laughs with us and I have seen the gentleness with which he treats 
Erestor, but he always seems sad and worried. Glorfindel says it is 
because of those the lord has lost and because of his duty to protect 
Imladris from harm. Sometimes, it makes me wish I was at least a few 
centuries closer to their age so they would give me more serious 
answers. 

My lover becomes angry if I try to use his passion against him, no matter 
how curious I might be. I most certainly do not want him to turn away from 
me and find a new consort. You might think me a coward now, but I have 
two answers to that. First; I am a bard not a warrior.  It is no insult to me 
to be seen as a coward. And, second, even the bravest warrior would not 
wish to lose a lover as passionate and as wonderful as Glorfindel. 

Though I seem to be in a strange mood today, I do know that I am lucky 
to be the one chosen by my lord. No matter how much I want him to 
share all of his life with me, no matter how much I dream of it, no matter 
how romantic the thought, I realize that if Glorfindel had to choose, he 
would stay in Imladris, rather than follow me into exile.  Elves are not 
perfect; no one can expect my lover to be. 

The screaming has not started yet. I should make myself a cup of hot tea 
and pray that I will find sleep before it begins. As without Glorfindel by my 
side, it will be worse, no matter if I pretend to read or to write or to distract 
myself in some other way.

I will return to this tomorrow.

Imladris, 6th of May, 2813

Yesterday, I did not find any time for writing, but I presume that will not be 
all that bad. It is not like I intend to write every day. Yesterday was 
remarkable, though I just did not feel like writing about it last night. To my 
utter surprise, Glorfindel invited me to come spend the day with him. We 
went riding with Elrond and Erestor, who seemed to need a break as well 
and apparently, there was not anything else they needed to do.

It was a great morning. We stayed at the river, listened to the singing 
birds, and watched the children play in the water. They were foolish, but it 
was enjoyable to see how much fun they had, and it was nice to just talk 
to and laugh with the elven lords. It surprised me how openly Elrond 
spoke of his love for Erestor and it was amazingly sweet to see our 
mighty lord rest in his lover’s arms. 

As always, Erestor’s mien shone with love as well as with the need to 
protect his lover from any harm. I do not know if Elrond is aware of it, but 
he usually looks as if he had to fight off demons, and suddenly I found 
myself wondering if the screams at night might be his. He has certainly 
seen terrible things and the sorrowful expression that often shadows his 
beautiful grey eyes…I should stop talking about how pretty our lord is; if 
Glorfindel found out he would kill me; that is, if Erestor did not do so 
before him.

When we set out our food, Erestor actually fed Elrond. It looked so cute 
that I merely stared at them, forgetting to eat or at least pretend to be 
taken aback by their behaviour, until Glorfindel poked my side. I just 
never saw them act that way before, as if for just for one day, most of 
their trouble had been taken from them and they just enjoyed being 
together. 

It was such a good morning that it saddens me to report that it did not end 
even half as nice as it began. In fact the evening was horrible. But I will 
try to explain how it came to be, as correctly as possible, as I am still not 
sure how it started.

Like I mentioned earlier, we had noticed some children playing in the 
morning and they stayed there, just like we did. They were enjoying the 
soft beams of the late spring sun and playing happily together.

Until we suddenly heard them yell for help. Glorfindel got up immediately, 
almost causing me to drop to the ground in surprise and Erestor stood 
even before my lover had started to run. I was surprised at their speed, 
even though I knew that Glorfindel had been training the guards more or 
less every day for many years. But Erestor ran just as quickly as 
Glorfindel, obviously trying his best to keep up with my lover’s pace. 

Neither Elrond nor I understood what had happened at first.  When we 
realized that one of the young ones was about to drown, and stood up as 
well, Glorfindel and Erestor had already reached the bank and helped the 
child. 

All four of us, just like the child’s friends, were very upset and tried to help 
the boy, for he was limp and had a blue tinge to his skin. Well no, not all 
four of us tried to help. It took several moments until I noticed that Elrond, 
our most skilful healer, just stared at the boy. He did not speak, did not 
move, nor did he react in any other way. He just sat there and then I 
suddenly noticed, he cried. 

It was a very strange way to react, I presume. But luckily, his inaction did 
not cause the child to die, as somehow Glorfindel and Erestor managed 
to revive him. Soon he was coughing and spitting water and we all sighed 
from relief.

But our happiness did not last. Of course, it was wonderful that the child 
survived, but Glorfindel raged when he heard that the children had been 
playing silly games. They had been pressing each other beneath the 
water, and we did not notice as we had moved a bit away from the river 
when we had our meal, so we would not get wet.

It was not Glorfindel’s reaction that really scared me though. I understand 
that you get mad if your protégés behave in such a stupid way. However, 
there was Elrond who was sobbing like a child, soaking his lover’s robes 
with his tears, and there was Erestor who glared at the youths as if he 
was about to murder them. 

Both of them obviously overreacted, or at least I think they did. But who 
am I to judge? I am a simple bard, I am supposed to tell tales and sing 
ballads. It was just a strange feeling that while I was feeling sorry for the 
almost drowned child, Glorfindel was yelling, Elrond was crying and 
Erestor was staring at the children with cold fury. 

I did not consider the thought when I tried to understand their behaviour 
yesterday.  That both Glorfindel and Erestor might have been reacting to 
Elrond’s tears, shocked that the ruler of their realm, their dearly beloved 
friend, would react in such a way.
 
However I did today, but it confuses me why Elrond would cry at the sight 
of a drowning child. Though I do not know what he experienced in his 
childhood of course, as it was rather long before my birth. It is not like 
anyone ever tells me anything. 

Oh yes, I feel bitter about that at times. But even though I am still shocked 
by what happened yesterday, it also adds to my curiosity. I really need to 
know if it is Elrond who is screaming that terribly and if it is him, why he 
does it. I am just not sure if I will dare risk my position while trying to find 
out what causes this trouble. And I have lately started to wonder why it is 
that no one, not Glorfindel, not Erestor, not Elrond or anyone else ever 
speaks about the noises at night. 

One would assume that the guardian trainees and the young scribes 
would tattle about things like that. But either they manage to keep it from 
me better than any other rumours they discuss or they do not speak 
about it. Maybe they do not dare to speak about it?

I do not know. It just convinces me that I really should keep my notes 
hidden. Because, even though I do not think that my lords would do me 
any harm, I still fear them a little. They most certainly never committed 
any crime. But one never knows, it is not like I know them well. And with 
all the secrecy, one cannot help wondering why they never tell me about 
their life, apart from the events I already know from the history books of 
our people.

Imladris, 10th of May, 2813

Nothing has happened lately. Of course, there still are the screams at 
night, but they sadly are not special to me anymore. I am getting used to 
them, and it worries me that I do. Terrifying screams and frustrated crying 
should make you feel sad and sorry. You should not stop caring about it. 
But it just starts to tire me lately. 

I know it is not right. Please understand as you read this, I am not a 
heartless elf. I love my fellow elves usually and I care for their feelings. It 
is just that if you hear the same thing too often, after a while you become 
numb to it. And even though I feel guilty about it, I cannot help it.

It makes me wonder if the other elves just grew accustomed to the 
heartbreaking noises a long time ago. Maybe that is why they do not care 
anymore? If I feel like that after a mere period of two years, why would 
others not feel like it after a far longer time? 

But I presume that I am merely trying to calm my fears. After all, it is not 
nice to live with people that do not ever talk about something that is 
distressing, something that should worry and scare them at least a little. 

I have come to a conclusion; there is something I need to do. But it might 
take long and I will have to leave soon. If you find these notes and there 
is not anything added to them, please contact my family as there might be 
a bitter secret in this realm. Maybe even a deadly secret. And even 
though I try to tell myself that it will be alright, I cannot help feeling scared 
about what I might find out.

This is only getting harder. I have to leave now, while I still find the 
courage to do what I consider my task. I cannot wait before I stop caring 
about the poor creature that seems to be in trouble. If I do not return, it 
was not a good idea to not inform anyone before I left. But if I do return, I 
might at least have a few hints that help me to solve this riddle…

Imladris, 13th of May, 2813

I managed to return, though it was not easy. It is still difficult to remember 
what happened during these last few days. What I can remember is that it 
terrified me to see just how mad Glorfindel can become. A whole day of 
pleading and crying and begging was what it took to convince him to untie 
me again. I have never seen him tremble with rage before. Not like this. 
He was very close to striking me when I woke up and could not tell him 
where I had been the past three days. 

And even though it might be confusing to you, I felt safe and loved that he 
was that angry, that worried. I had not ever considered that he might 
worry about me. Seriously worry, I mean. That he might be scared that I 
could have been hurt. But he was, even though he did not want to admit 
it. He threatened to cane me like a disobedient trainee if I dared to leave 
like that again, for several days and without telling him. 

It is just that I really cannot tell him what happened, for I do not 
remember. Although I do not think that he would have been happy with 
my reply if I could have told him. No matter what really happened, I was 
going behind his back, trying to find out things that he and his friends 
want to keep hidden. Perhaps he would have been far angrier if I could 
have told him what happened. 

All he could tell me is that he found me lying on the ground, with several 
light wounds that might have come from falling down, mainly bruises and 
abrasions, nothing serious. But it seems that I also hurt my head and did 
not react when he slapped me, not even when he kissed me. So he 
carried me to our room and tied me to our bed. 

It sounded logical… well more or less. I presume it might be logical to an 
ancient Balrog Slayer who became angry at his mate. Strangely, it seems 
that he did not even consider asking Elrond if I might be seriously hurt. I 
should try to remember that my lover is not sweet and sensitive if I enrage 
him. That might prove an important fact in the future. 

Although I do not think that it will help me much, I will have to find out 
what happened. I have to remember what happened during these past 
days, but Elrond told me that things like that can take a while. He also told 
me that I have to try tying up Glorfindel the next time he falls asleep, to 
tickle him with a feather. 

You might imagine that I was surprised upon that counsel. I tried asking 
Erestor, but he blushed and did not reply. They surprised me. After all 
they usually do not tell me anything about their private life, and I cannot 
imagine them playing such games at night. Although that may be 
because I do not wish to imagine such a thing, maybe because the 
thought of the sad and sorrowful Elrond and his protective lover playing 
*any* kind of games at night confuses me. 

I should just be grateful that neither of them thinks that I have to worry 
that Glorfindel stays mad at me, but I have to admit that I admire my own 
courage. After all, I fear that they might be responsible for the screaming I 
hear at night. And still, I treat them as my friends and ask them for help. 
Perhaps I am not really the coward I always thought I am. Or maybe I am 
just stupid.

Imladris, 15th of May, 2813

My memories of what happened have not yet returned. Neither has my 
courage nor my desire to leave and try to find out. I might be foolish 
enough to risk my life like that once. I do not think that I will dare to try it 
again. Not that I am scared that Glorfindel might actually hit me. (Yes, I 
actually considered that thought and did not think it as unpleasant as one 
should imagine.) But I fear whatever caused me to run fast enough to fall 
to the ground. I am not clumsy; I see no reason why I would just fall to the 
ground after going for a walk and picking some flowers.

No, I think I have a reason to be scared. No matter how much I would like 
to find out what happened. It is merely my mind that is keeping me from 
doing it. Knowledge is good. Knowing things while still being alive and 
sane is even better, and to ensure that the latter will stay true, I prefer to 
wait and hope that my memory returns. 

I wish it would. I would like to know why I was running, if I was running. Or 
if someone else ensured that I would fall to the ground, someone who 
knew that if I hit my head, I might forget what I saw. Would one of them 
hurt me so I could not tell anyone what I saw? I do not even remember if I 
reached my aim or if I was stopped before that. 

Nothing… I can remember my earliest childhood, I can remember my 
youth, my guard training, that I had to stop my training because I would 
not have made a good soldier. I can remember how I became a bard, 
how my mentor used to compliment and chide me back then. And I 
remember how much fun I had in my life. I know how much I love 
Glorfindel, no matter what he might do while he is not with me. But it still 
scares me that I cannot remember the days that might help me to solve 
the riddle.

Damn, it seems that Glorfindel returns. If you read this and do not find 
more entries, please at least try to help me. 

Imladris, 24th August, 2813

I do not know where to start. I feared I had lost these Notes… and it 
depressed me, now that I am so much closer to the solution than ever 
before. I had been eavesdropping last night. I know I should not have and 
my heart was racing like that of a hunted rabbit that hears the dogs 
coming. But I did. And what I heard greatly confused me.

I have been sneaking around the forbidden door.  Oh forgive me, you will 
not understand. It is hard not to skip the facts I learned, because it all 
seems so clear to me now. Not perfectly clear like a diamond, but as clear 
as water that is only slightly muddied. I started to fear the truth during the 
last month. I am unsure if I will be able to bear it. It is more complicated 
than I thought, far more complicated. I have seen pictures, heard voices, 
and heard crying, screaming and babbling. And I know that Glorfindel and 
his friends are involved. I just do not know their position in the puzzle. It is 
one of the few things I cannot really understand yet. 

But I know they are talking to the screaming elf at times. I know they do, 
though he never replies. Sometimes I wonder if he is deaf. Maybe he 
cannot hear that they are talking to him. Or maybe he cannot talk? But if 
he can scream, I do not think that someone ripped out his tongue. Or can 
you scream without a tongue? I do not know. 

I never met someone without a tongue, though I was told that it was used 
as a punishment for liars amongst the Orcs. That is strange, of course. 
Most of us had assumed that Orcs just kill each other if they become 
mad. But it seems that they are more civilized than we want to believe as 
we see the sorrow they bring to us.

The prisoner never looked at me. And of course he never spoke to me 
either. Not back then when I entered his room and then ran away in 
horror as I feared what they might do if they found me in his room, and 
certainly not now while I do not dare to enter his room anymore. It is 
locked, you know, the prisoner’s room. Which is not surprising, I presume. 
I would lock my prisoners up as well. But it terrified me back then, 
because I did not know how to explain to them that I had been staying in 
a room for a day with their prisoner as my only company.

He did not mind that I looked at his pictures. He was drawing when I 
entered the room and still drawing when I left it again. His pictures are 
incredible. You do not only see the faces on them, but also understand 
what the expressions mean. No, you can feel what they feel while you are 
looking at them. It is a strange gift. I know I heard them talk to me. But I 
am still not sure if I am not merely growing mad. 

The picture of the elf with the beautiful sad eyes was talking to me. It 
made me feel so sad. It must be Elrond when he was younger and I wish 
I could remember his words. I wish I could, but I cannot. It is a terrible 
feeling. I know there was fear in his voice, fear and despair. He wanted 
me to help. But I could not face what I heard. It was sad; I think that is 
why my mind decided to forget.

Rather forget than to relive the old, old pain in those beautiful dark eyes. 
It might have given me a clue, as I did not receive any answers to my 
questions from the prisoner. 

I did not dare mention him to Glorfindel or the others. My ears told me 
that he is being prepared for something. I have no clue for what he is 
being prepared, but I heard how his tangled hair was brushed. There was 
no sound of protest, even though I know that he can scream louder than 
anyone else I have ever heard. I heard my lover sing to him softly, in a 
tongue I did not understand. I heard Erestor speak, seriously and calm. 
But I did not hear any sound Elrond made. 

They talked about strange things. About a bargain, about having to fulfil 
what they were supposed to fulfil. They spoke of war and death. And it 
scared me enough to leave. I pray to the Valar more than just once or 
twice a day now. It has become one of my habits to pray to them. To pray 
that they might protect the poor elf from whatever they think necessary to 
ensure peace.

I wonder if he knows what they intend to do with him. If that is why he is 
crying and screaming. He is beautiful, at least what I have seen of him so 
far. And even though he was wearing the most simple of clothes and his 
hair was a tangled mess, I would have loved to see his face, but I did not 
dare to ask him to turn. Neither would I dare to ask him to turn tonight if I 
were to meet him.

For I fear what I might see. I fear that the eyes of the elf might match the 
sadness and frustration of his screams, and I would not know how to 
comfort him. I do not even know if he would understand my tongue. 
Maybe he just speaks the ancient tongue that Glorfindel used? I do not 
know how old he might be. Though I think that he might be Elros, Elrond’s 
lost brother. I have heard tales of him. Most had him choose to become a 
mortal a long time ago. But I heard rumours that might be wrong. 

Rumours, here in Imladris, even though it seems that there are so many 
things that are not rumoured about here. But I mainly do not know how to 
name the imprisoned artist, for I am sure that they actually care for him, 
or at least cared for him a long time ago. Why would you imprison a fellow 
elf? What crime could be bad enough to make you take the freedom from 
someone you used to like, maybe even love?

I do not understand this. But at least I know where to find the forbidden 
door whenever I want to now. And I know that Glorfindel is involved, 
though I am not sure about his part in the story. Maybe I promised too 
much. Perhaps I am not closer to the solution than I have been on any 
other day. It does not really matter, because apart from my fear, I know 
my duty.

Tonight, once Glorfindel has returned and fallen asleep, I will try to free 
the elf. I am scared, no, terrified. The mere thought of it makes me sweat 
and cry. But I cannot wait until they sacrifice him to the Valar nor do 
whatever else they think necessary. I will have to be silent, far more silent 
then ever before, and also faster than ever. 

I know where they put the key, for I have watched them. It is my task and 
I have to fulfil it. If I fail, I at least was not a coward, for once in my life. 
Glorfindel returns. Wish me luck as you read this, for I will need it. If 
Erestor and Elrond decide to stay longer, I will be in great trouble. But so 
far they have always left together. I hope they decide to do so now.

Imladris, 25th August, 2813


The truth took me by surprise. It really did. You might be able to imagine 
that as soon as you know about it. But I will try not to skip the facts I know 
of now. Sad facts… I wish I did not know them. Although it was surely my 
own fault, that I discovered them. No one asked me to mingle with things 
that are highly above me and no one pleaded with me to feel all that 
sorrow. 

I went to the forbidden chamber again. It was locked of course, but I 
found the key where they put it and unlocked it. Silently, I opened the 
door, stepped inside then closed and locked the door from the inside. I 
had been right about his hair, he looked different from the last time I had 
seen him. His hair was sparkling now and he wore tidy, dark robes.

I tried to convince the elf to come with me, I tried my best, I really did. I 
told him I would save him, take him away and protect him from the harm 
they might do to him. But he did not react. He ignored me and resumed 
his drawing. It surprised me that he had not started to scream, but I think 
it was a little too early for that. 

Perhaps, they would return to see him if he started to scream? I knew that 
I wanted to be away at that time. But he just would not come with me. I 
felt so helpless and alone, staring at his back as he refused to look at me. 
I kept pleading with him to come, until I heard footsteps on the stairs and 
realized that I had stayed for too long. 

My heart was racing. I hid, but then remembered that the door was 
locked. Obviously, someone outside had noticed that the door was locked 
from the inside as well for I heard a yell that sounded worried as well as 
furious. “Whoever you are, open the door immediately.” It was Elrond’s 
voice, a stern order, a command that was to be followed. But I did not 
dare to open the door. I was far too scared of what he might do. 

The door did not help me for long. It only took a few moments before 
Elrond had mumbled some strange words and the door opened without 
being unlocked. My heart stopped beating and my whole body froze. I did 
not know what to say or to do and I think I would have stood there without 
doing anything even if I had not been too scared to move. 

Elrond looked at me.  His surprise to see me was written in his eyes and 
all over his face. But he did not turn me into a frog… he did not use any of 
his many skills. He looked at me and asked me what had made me come 
to this place. It took all my courage to tell him that I feared for their 
prisoner, that I wanted to protect him from the harm they wanted to do 
him.

And then it was Elrond who froze, obviously shocked that I had thought 
them capable of harming a fellow elf. I countered that they had locked him 
up and my lord shook his head. 

“You misunderstood what you saw, Lindir. He is not locked away as a 
prisoner. We had to lock him up because we could not keep him from 
harming himself. It was the only choice we had left. Glorfindel told me that 
you heard the screams. Do you think any happy elf would scream and cry 
every night for centuries? If he would chose to return to us, I would be 
more than happy to allow him to. But he does not want us. He refuses to 
speak until it is necessary. He ignores us and nothing apart from his 
drawings seems enjoyable to him.”

I had to admit that I had misunderstood their actions. It even saddened 
me that I wrongly accused them. But still, I could not help but mention the 
bargain and the sacrifice that was to be made.

When I did, Elrond lowered his head and nodded. “Yes,” he agreed, “yes, 
there is a terrible sacrifice he needs to make to ensure that the peace is 
kept. But he understands his duties, he knows we cannot escape from the 
bargain, he knows what would happen if he refused to fulfil it.”

That confused me, as you might imagine, to be forced to fulfil a bargain 
did not seem such a wonderful fate to me. There was not much I could do 
though. It was impossible to ask him to flee with me while Elrond was 
around. And so I turned to leave them, just looking back at them once, to 
see how Elrond stood there next to him and started to whisper.

It caught my interest as it sounded sweet and pleasant, and then, for the 
very first time I saw the other elf turn, turn to face Elrond. And I froze 
when I saw that they looked alike, so very alike. Even the despair of their 
eyes matched. Now I am sure he is Elros, the brother of Elrond. And I 
wonder what happened to make him refuse to stay close to his brother. I 
have been told they stayed together whenever they could in their youth.

Imladris, 26th August, 2813

Thranduil of Mirkwood has arrived in Imladris. He came here in the early 
morning, and I cannot pretend that I was not touched upon seeing the 
King of the realm I lived in for my first 60 years. It is sad how much I still 
miss him, even though I left Mirkwood over a century ago. But still, 
Thranduil is a handsome man, much like Elrond. He has lovely black hair 
and fair features. 

He is just silent, not as open and friendly as Elrond is towards me. But 
then, I was not his best friend’s lover. Maybe he would have acted 
differently towards me if I had been. It is not as if I would really care. I am 
with Glorfindel, I love him and I am glad to have great friends like Elrond 
and Erestor. Just… why did he come here? 

Political business, I am sure. But it is mean that he came here, once 
again waking the sweet loving feelings I felt for him when I was young. It 
confuses me, as now I am supposed to eat next to him. For Elrond 
refused to allow me to leave the table. He said that Thranduil would 
certainly be glad to see another familiar face and that they might wish for 
some entertainment later.

Later I can refuse, pretend that I do not feel well. I am sure they would not 
force me to stay against my will. But I fear that I should dress for dinner 
now. Just…how? I do not want to make Glorfindel wonder. Neither do I 
want to wear the colours of Imladris before my King. I presume I will go 
for Mirkwood’s dark green – light green combination. And if anyone asks 
me about it, I will just tell them that I thought it a suitable colour to greet 
the King of Mirkwood. 

Perhaps, though, it would be better not to remind him that I am from 
Mirkwood, if he does even remember me at all.  I do not think he will. So 
maybe it will be for the best to wear the colours and braids of Imladris. 
After all, I do not live in Mirkwood or Lórien, but still, I would enjoy 
wearing green again. And it is not like anyone will really care what a 
simple bard is wearing, will they?

Glorfindel is coming upstairs. Maybe I will just ask him for suggestions. 
After all, I can claim that I am worried about our guest’s well being.  

Imladris, 26th August, 2813, later

It was a nice meal. In the beginning, it was just like any other meal with a 
highly ranked guest. A bit stiff, but very delicious food and rather polite 
conversation. Elrond talked to Thranduil and thanked him for coming to 
visit Imladris once more. All the pleasant compliments were exchanged 
and they talked about political questions for a while, until I grew bored 
and could not follow their conversation anymore. 

After a while, Thranduil decided to talk to me. He asked me how I like 
Imladris, if I miss Mirkwood and if I know any new songs he might want to 
hear. It seems that he actually remembers me and of course I feel 
honoured about that. Although it might be possible that he was merely 
informed who would sit at the table he would eat at and prepared to find 
things to talk about to us. 

He smiled when he noticed the braids of Mirkwood and the green robes. 
Obviously, it was a good idea, just like Glorfindel had told me. His interest 
confused me a little as I cannot recall that Thranduil ever asked me about 
my well being before. But then, back in Mirkwood, I was a young boy, 
maybe now he has changed his mind. What if he would finally show the 
interest in me, that I longed for, for so many years? What if he would even 
accept me as his lover?

Why do I care? I am Glorfindel’s. It is not as if I could still give my heart to 
another. And yet, the thought makes me insecure. I do not know what I 
would answer if he asked me to be with him…

Glorfindel really does not deserve this. But I cannot help to consider what 
it would feel like to have those long, thin fingers caressing my stomach. 
Thranduil talked to me for almost two hours, without really caring about 
the rest of the much higher ranked people at the table. And it would 
match with my very first dreams about love. It is not my fault that I am 
young and did not have any lover before Glorfindel. I do not know if I 
would enjoy having another elf in my bed. It is not like I wish to leave my 
love. But it would be much easier to decide if he is really the most 
wonderful elf I could ever wish for, if I could compare being with him to 
being with others…

Is it my fault that Thranduil is such a beautiful elf? That he is even prettier 
than Elrond and Glorfindel? I enjoyed seeing that he is not always as 
calm and silent as I remembered him. He actually laughed when I made a 
silly joke. Perhaps, I just thought him stern and quiet when I was younger 
because I laughed more myself then?

I do not know. But neither do I really care. It is not like I could ever dare to 
approach Thranduil, as I do not want to find out what Glorfindel would do 
if I tried. Apart from the fact that Elrond would chase me away, both for 
insulting his guest and hurting his friend’s feelings, Thranduil would be 
totally shocked. No, I am aware that I could not risk that. But a man can 
dream. And dreams open doors you would not dare to open while you are 
awake.