xantissa
xantissa@wp.pl or xantissa@op.pl 

Part 9

Summary: Erestor returns to The Last Homely House and has a talk 
with Lindir. Legolas and Elrohir try to help the brokenhearted scribe 
and Elronds reveals some of his past with Erestor.


  Erestor entered the study quietly, wishing he didn't need to do this. 
But Legolas was right. Escape was not an option. He looked at the 
young elf sitting on the wide windowsill staring at the trees outside. 
His long, silver hair were gathered in a single braid, leaving his face 
exposed. The strong, bright mornings sun highlighted the still blue 
bruise in his face and bruises on his neck. Erestor nearly gasped at 
seeing them. 

  Lindir was an elf. He should have healed long ago, but now, two and 
a half week after that terrible night, he still looked like that morning 
Erestor woke up in his bed. 

  Erestor kept still, not wanting the younger elf to discover him just 
yet. He knew what he had to do. He knew that the day he left the 
Last homely House like a coward. He could no longer trust. Not Lindir, 
not himself. He was a violent warrior. He had blood on his hands and 
sometimes small thing pushed him off balance and he was dangerous 
then. Being in loose relationships with other warriors, like Legolas was 
much safer. If anything happened, he was sure the Golden Prince 
knew how to defend himself. Surely he would cause him considerable 
damage if Erestor ever attacked him for real. 

  Lindir was different. He touched something deep inside him, that 
was hidden for millennia and Erestor didn't like it. Still he had to 
admit he desired the elf greatly. Even now, watching him sit on the 
windowsill, lost in thoughts so completely that he wasn't even aware 
that he was being watched.

  Erestor always liked his lovers strong, more experienced. Even 
Legolas who looked like the most innocent creature on the whole Arda 
but was more wicked than any elf should for his own good. But he 
found the slim figure if the scribe very attractive. The way he 
wrapped those long limbs around him, when they made love… the 
way his pale eyes betrayed each and every feeling. His mind flickered 
back to all the times when Lindir submitted to him. That day at the 
lake, when he took the lashing without any bonds…   

  He loved the sweet, simple smell of his young lover. And although 
he didn't want to admit it, he adored the soft, murmured words of 
love when Lindir thought he wouldn't hear them. 

  Erestor watched the delicate features and the sight of bruises 
reminded him of his task. He needed to apologize for his behavior and 
end this once and for all. 

  "Lindir…" he called softly. 

  Before the younger elf had the time to turn around and relies who 
was calling him, Erestor had his face under perfect control. He would 
not allow Lindir to see his inner turmoil. 

  "Erestor?!" exclaimed the scribe and jumped from the windowsill, 
directing his steps to his lover but the cold that he saw in his dark 
eyes stopped him short.

  They stood facing each other, not sure how to start, what to say, 
what to do. Lindir shivered under the oblivious gaze that regarded 
him without any emotion.

  "Erestor?" he asked again, hating the slight hitch in his voice. "You 
came back?"

  Erestor nodded, fixing his eyes on the still so very dark bruises. It 
was his fault. It were his hands that did this.

  Elven rate of healing depended on their emotional state. If the elf 
was unhappy or in emotional pain, his wounds refused to heal 
properly and even simple bruises could linger for months. It was just 
another proof that he should never get close to anybody again.

  "I need to apologize to you." Erestor finally started, carefully 
keeping his voice devoid of emotions.

  Lindir wanted to ask him many more questions but the cold, empty 
way Erestor spoke to him, as if he was a mere stranger, forced the 
words back into his throat.

  "I am truly sorry for the way I treated you that night. It was 
inadmissible. I hope you will accept my apologies." 

  Lindir went absolutely still. He felt tears gather in his eyes again. 
The way Erestor spoke to him… avoided looking him in the eyes… it all 
caused him to have bad feeling about this talk. Something deep inside 
him knew what it meant, he just didn't want to admit it. It was simply 
too painful. He knew that if he lost Erestor he would die. It was easier 
when he knew Erestor would never be his, when he didn't know the 
touch of the dark haired elf… but loosing it…

  If only Erestor wasn't so cold! Lindir would have forgave him 
everything for a simple sorry and a kiss. Not this elegant, impersonal 
apologizing that left a bitter taste in his mouth. 

  "Erestor…" he whispered brokenly, dreading each next word.

  "I decided that it would be best for all if we parted and forgot about 
everything that happened. Our… relationship was a mistake from the 
beginning."

  "But… you were happy with me!" exclaimed Lindir suddenly. "You… 
you said so yourself!"

  "I enjoyed our couplings, yes." he watched Lindir pale at the crude 
words but kept his face.

  "But… why? Why break up with me?"

  "Let's be true. You can not trust me not to hurt you." And I can not 
trust myself anymore, Erestor added in his thoughts.

   Erestor hated the wounded look in those pale, blue eyes that 
widened in pain, as if Erestor had dealt him a fatal blow. But then he 
saw a flicker of something in those eyes, fire, a wish to fight… Lindir 
was not going to just let him go. Although the scribe was a gentle 
soul he was brave and strong and would fight for his happiness. But 
Erestor couldn't allow this. He stilled himself and summoned the years 
of experience in politics disputes, in dealing with people and let words 
spill from his mouth, watching with clinical detachment the pain 
register on Lindir. Surprise than shame… 

  "But…"

  "Lindir. You are very attractive, young elf. But you are inexperienced 
and certainly no match for me, young one. I admit that you were 
exquisite entertainment for a while, but as all new things, you 
became boring." During his little speech he watched Lindir go from 
pale to deathly white. His lips suddenly became blue and his eyes so 
dark, that the blue was barely visible. The younger Elf was in deep 
shock and Erestor wondered if he wasn't too harsh. But he needed to 
do this, to cut each and every bond that connected them.  

  Then maybe both would learn to live again. 

  "I have a meeting with Elrond today so you are given a day free…"

 But Lindir did not hear him anymore. Just his previous words played 
in his mind and started mixing with the words he heard thrown at him 
so many years ago. Words that he hoped never to hear again…

  /You are nothing more that a slut, Lindir. Not so pure anymore, 
huh?!/

  /You were an entertainment/

  /Get up! Get out of my bed Lindir, I surely don't want you here for 
the night. You are good for fucking but nothing more/

  /You became boring…/

  Lindir never remembered now he got out of the study and stumbled 
into his chambers.

  Dirty. 

  He felt so incredibly dirty… the love he had for Erestor… the things 
he let him do… the things he enjoyed… gods, he wanted to die…

  He lay on the bed and curled himself into a tight ball, letting the 
tears to stream down his face. He felt so dirty, dirty… Images of 
Erestor and his first lover mingled in his memory till they became 
one. Blurry image of hurt and betrayal. 

  Lindir buried his face in the pillow and screamed his pain and hurt 
away, wishing desperately that he could fade into nothingness, 
disappear, cease to exist. That it would all just fade away. His body 
and should hurt so bad he though he would go mad just from the 
pain. His thought were a hectic jumble of images and sounds. Cruel 
words spoken to him so often… he felt like a whore that was used one 
time too much. The realization that each elf that touched him 
intimately, took him into his bed, had never cared really for him, hurt 
so bad he thought he could burst from it.

*	*	*

  Very slowly Erestor closed the door to his chambers behind him and 
locked it. The image of Lindir stumbling blindly from the office, his 
face so pale that Erestor was actually worried for him, made 
something in him clench.


  He opened the cabinet and selected the most potent bottle of wine 
he had and opened it. His hands shook so hard he couldn't pour it into 
the goblet. The look in Lindir's eyes still haunted him. He could swear 
he saw his spirit break. Right there and then,. Telling him all those 
cruel, crude words he realized that Lindir loved him and had already 
forgiven him for his behavior. He could swear he saw the last shreds 
of hope and innocence crash in that moment. He has never seen a 
person so broken… innocent soul hurt so much by his cold words. 

  Erestor closed his eyes and started drinking straight from the bottle, 
trying to stifle the strange, burning pain in his chest with the potent 
drink.  

*	*	*

  Legolas knocked at Lindir's door. Elrohir was worried bout the young 
scribe. They returned yesterday night and Erestor promised to talk to 
Lindir in the morning. Yet it was almost midnight and he haven't seen 
nor Lindir nor Erestor. Worried, he decided to go and find Lindir. 
Elrohir offered to try to find Erestor. However he didn't manage. 

  When he got no response, he looked over his shoulder at the dark 
haired Elf. Elrohir answered him, equally worried.

  "I think I can sense him in there. The room is not empty, 
melethron."

  Legolas gripped the handle and tried it. to his surprise the door 
swung open and revealed small bedroom and a fragile figure curled 
on the bed.

  "Lindir!" Legolas exclaimed seeing the unnatural stillness of the 
scribes body. 

  Both Elves approached the silver haired Elf.

  "What has happened to him?" asked Legolas, shocked by the 
strangely dead look in those pale blue eyes that were half closed.

  Elrohir reached his hand and touched Lindir's neck, trying to 
measure his pulse and hissed when he realized just how weak it was. 


  "We have to get him warm, melethron." said Elrohir tugging at 
Lindir's clothes. At first Legolas was confused. If Elrohir wanted to get 
Lindir warm, why was he undressing him? But then he realized that 
the dark haired Elf wanted to share his body heat with the scribe.

  Scolded by his lover's hard look Legolas started pulling on his 
clothes also. He was aware of Elrohir "special" sensitivity to emotions. 
The Peredhel never spoke about it openly, but Legolas did see things 
he dis and sometimes he slipped, and told a little too much.

  Putting his trust in his lover, Legolas obeyed and joined him ion the 
bed, on the other side of the terrifyingly still elf. They pressed as 
close as possible, and Elrohir pulled covers over them.

  Legolas almost hissed when his bare chest connected with the 
freezing flesh of the younger Elf. 

  "What is going on with him? I can't see any wounds… and his eyes! 
By the Valar he looks so… lifeless." Legolas rarely felt so lost, 
uncertain of what to do. He was a prince, maybe third in the line for 
the throne, nevertheless he was trained to be able to make decisions 
in any circumstances. Now, however he felt lost and suddenly so very 
young, not mentioning that he was worried. Although he never really 
knew Lindir, he came to like the gentle Elf. He was calm, gentle in 
spirit yet very strong. He was also very competent. One couldn't be 
Erestor's advisor without quick mind and sharp wit. The older elf 
would just ignore Lindir, if he didn't raise to his standards. 

  Legolas always pictured Lindir as quiet but strong Elf, and couldn't 
understand what was happening to him now.

  "What has happened to him, Elrohir? "

  The other elf had his arms wrapped around the scribe and his eyes 
closed. Even though Legolas's attention was now focused on Lindir, 
he couldn't stop from noticing how the dark, thick and long eyelashes 
shadowed his pale cheeks, making him look so young and innocent. 
And for a brief moment Legolas felt a stab of pain at the thought of 
the innocence lost by the twins, after their mother was attacked.

  Elrohir closed his eyes and concentrated. He was reluctant to use his 
mind on the elf again, but the very fact that he had at least once 
touched it already made is easier for him to reach the scribe. When 
he opened himself to the emotions around, first he felt Legolas, what 
surprised him, because Legolas always controlled his emotions. In 
many ways he was very close to Erestor. On the outside he seemed 
very explosive but inside, he always controlled his temper and Elrohir 
felt it. somehow it was easier to have him around, he gave him 
psychical comfort.

  Now however his emotions hit Elrohir hard. The love/ affection/ 
regret and strange underline of fear took him aback, but it must have 
been caused by Lindir's state.

  He focused on the scribe, trying to determine what has happened to 
him. His mind felt… strange. Cold… numb… floating. It was hard to 
actually feel him and it scared Elrohir. His ability to feel other minds, 
even the barest echo of them, what his way of perceiving the world. 
And if something existed, lived then he could sense it. And if he 
couldn't it meant the person was dead.

  And he had real troubles with sensing Lindir at all! It indicated that 
he was dangerously close to… fading. 

  Suddenly something changed and Elrohir touched his mind and the 
feelings that slammed into him, forced a choked scream out of him. 
Pain, anguish, shame… god it hurt. He quickly withdrew and lay 
panting for a long moment, trying to regain some semblance of 
balance. 

  "He is fading." he said quietly, seeing how anxious to ask questions 
Legolas was.

  "This I can see, but why?"

  "He is fading from grief, lover. Pain so deep and so strong it tears 
him apart. But it is not only this. He is loathing himself, the shame is 
almost suffocating him!"

  "But… this is unheard of. It took eves years to fade from grief and 
he was safe and sound yesterday night! What has happened?"

  "I don't know but… I think it has something to do with Erestor. After 
all he was supposed to talk to him this morning."

  Legolas was quiet for a while and then his face changed when he 
realized what Erestor must have done. His whole body tensed as a 
wave of rage surged through him. He heard Elrohir's gasp, when the 
other elf, his mind still open and tender, picked up on his emotions. 
He did his best to subside it, but rage still burned in his veins.

  /That stupid bastard! How dare he do it like this! How dare he break 
such a sweet creature like Lindir only to save his heart from 
"possible" pain?/ he raged, simultaneously rubbing the smaller Elf's 
shoulders to pour some heat into him.

  "Erestor broke up with him, didn't he?" asked Elrohir quietly, 
wrapping himself around Lindir even more.

  "I fear so." sighed Legolas and then continued. "But Lindir wouldn't 
have agreed to it without a battle, so he had to make something 
drastic to push Lindir away."

  They were silent for a ling time.

  "Ai, Lirimaer, he is not getting any warmer." said Legolas sensing 
the cold getting stronger in the younger Elf. 

  "I think… I think I know what to do. But… I am not sure…" 
stammered Elrohir.

  "Say it. Surely there is nothing you can do to make things worse 
now. He is dying and we must do something."

  Elrohir blushed and Legolas cocked his eyebrow. Elrohir rarely 
blushed.

  "When… when my mother left for Valinor, my father was grieving so 
strongly, that we feared he would fade. Finally, one morning, he 
didn't wake up and became so incredibly cold… We were terrified. No 
one knew what to do. It was my father who was the healer. But 
suddenly Erestor chased us all form his chambers and stayed with our 
father. The next day Ada woke up. He was still in great pain, but his 
condition started improving. I… I was curious what magic did Erestor 
perform on Ada to cure him, so I climbed the tree outside his 
chambers and… spied on them."

  When Elrohir stopped his tale obviously living it all again, Legolas 
stayed quiet, only rubbing Lindir's arms and waited.

  "He… Erestor laid with my father, Legolas… he made love to Adar… 
and it prevented him from fading. At first I was shocked by what I 
saw. It wasn't the fact that two males laid together, for then I knew 
that my attraction laid in my own gender."

  "So what was it?" asked Legolas carefully.

  "It was the fact that Adar fought Erestor. He tried to get the advisor 
off of him. But his body was so thin it was painfully to look at and he 
had no strength. I watched Erestor, who with calmness and kind of 
gentle aggression divested him of clothes and bound his wrists. I was 
so scared, so disgusted and terrified by the scene that I nearly fell of 
the tree. Needless to say that I thought that my father is being 
attacked and in my panic I went to the person I trusted most in this 
condition. Glorfindel, and thank the Valar I did! He caught me and 
noting my distress, calmed me down. I was babbling but nevertheless 
he understood what got me so scared. He gave me the most potent 
wine he could find and forced me to dawn it in one swallow. When I 
was dazed enough he explained it to me. Erestor took my father to 
keep him alive. It wasn't a rape… or maybe it was. I am not sure and 
I think that nor was Glorfindel. He explained to me however that 
thanks to Erestor, father stopped grieving so hard after our mother 
because his pain was transferred into anger, confusion… even hate 
towards Erestor. It kept him alive and when he finally understood that 
Erestor was only trying to help, the wound caused by my mother's 
leaving had healed enough, so that it wasn't threatening his life 
anymore. After that I have seen Erestor and Adar talking and 
seeming very close friends… closer than before. "

  "So you suggest…"

  "Aye. We should make love to Lindir."

  "But he isn't even conscious!" The very idea of taking advantage of 
such a suffering soul, made Legolas shudder.

  "Would you rather see him dead? If he doesn't want to die, no 
medication will help."

  "I know… I just need a moment to think about it." said Legolas and 
looked at the vulnerable Elf in his arms. There wasn't anything to 
ponder, he decided. There was no way he would let Lindir die like this 
- in loneliness and pain.

*	*	*

  Elrond was woken by not-so-subtle knocking at his door. 
Immediately he jerked up, alarmed that something wrong must have 
happened.

  He went to the door and opened them wide gasping at the sight in 
front of him. 

  Leaning on the wall, with a large bottle in hand stood Erestor. He 
was clad only in dark breeches and was shirtless. His bare torso 
glittered in the faint light of the lamps. His hair were dishelmed and 
loose, falling in black wave nearly to the middle of his back. His eyes 
were strangely dark, hiding something very disturbing and his pose 
lacked his usual formality, Erestor trademark. 

  "What happened?" asked Elrond, shocked to the core.

  Erestor gave him a smile absolutely devoid of mirth.

 "Care to drink with me, my lord?" he asked waving a bottle in front 
of him, the brushing past Elrond inside his chambers.

  The Peredhil remembered only one occasion when Erestor held no 
regard to his position, acting as if he was allowed to do everything his 
wanted. He watched Erestor sit himself in one of the chairs in front of 
the barely burning fireplace as if he owned the place, body moving 
with barely contained aggression and eyes hiding pain so deep…

  …… Celebrian had left few weeks ago, but the time was an endless 
parade of minutes that never ended for Elrond,. Loneliness, pain… 
vague sense of betrayal because she didn't have the strength to fight, 
and disgust with himself for such thought. He barely ate, never slept 
and just existed, hating himself fro the pain he caused his children, 
but incapable of living such a lonely life. 

  He knew that something happened, because he was so close to the 
halls of Mandos, he could feel it. he was nearly there, but something 
pulled him. His brain was however too foggy to understand what 
happened. 

  He woke up feeling… better. Confused but better. However the 
improvement didn't last long. In few days time, he started feeling the 
incredible loss again, pulling him deeper into the cold. 

  That night however he was conscious. He remembered sitting on the 
fur in front of the fireplace staring dumbly into the flames, wishing he 
had the courage to finish it once and for all. 

  Suddenly the doors to his chambers opened. He jerked surprised. 
Who would dare to… his thought stopped at seeing Erestor. His friend 
and advisor wasn't looking at all like himself. His hair were flying 
loose like a silken wave of ebony, soft fur and his eyes were hard, 
shadowed, hiding something. He had tight black leggings on and a 
thin, black tunic on. He kept something in his hand. 

  The elf stood closed the door and stopped for a moment, staring at 
Elrond with unreadable eyes. He was holding something in his hand 
but it wasn't what scared Elrond. It was his gaze. Hard, demanding 
and so dangerous and unyielding. 

  "What are you doing here?" demanded Elrond harshly.

  "I am here to end your folly. You will not die Elrond. I will do 
anything to make sure of it, no matter if you consent to it or no."

  "Wha…"

  But he wasn't given a chance to ask. Erestor, fast as only an 
assassin can be, tackled Elrond to the ground and had his wrists 
pinned above his head in no time. Before he realized what was 
happening Erestor, with deadly precision, cut all his clothes away, 
leaving him naked and shivering.

  "Stop it! I will call for guards! You will be punished for it!}

  Erestor stopped and looked him in the eyes - his hard and 
threatening. Elrond suddenly remembered that it was an ancient elf 
that he was much older than himself. In fact he even helped to raise 
him and his brother Elros.


  "There will be no guards tonight at you door, nor any night I will 
choose to come to you." Suddenly Elrond realized he was at his 
mercy. He started fighting Erestor, wanting to throw him off but to no 
avail. Weeks of barely eating and no sleeping made his body thin and 
weak and he soon was panting in exhaustion, looking up at Erestor, 
who obviously was waiting till Elrond would tire.

  "You are my friend Elrond, one of the few. I will do ANYTHING to 
save you." With that his hands and lips descended on the Peredhil, 
caressing, kissing and licking his chest, stomach… when the advisor 
leaned for a kiss, Elrond jerked his head away. He was humiliated by 
his body's reaction, by his helplessness.

  There was a dangerous gleam in Erestor's eyes and he moved again. 
Straddled Elrond and used his tunic to tie his wrist together, then, 
never leaving Elrond's terrified eyes, he used his dagger to pin his 
hands above his head.

  Elrond was completely at his mercy. His hands pined above his 
head, his legs and lower body pressed into the floor by Erestor's 
weight. The Peredhel started shivering when Erestor took his face in 
one, surprisingly strong hand for someone who spend last few 
millennia behind the desk and pressed behind the joint of his jaw, 
forcing his lips slightly apart, then leaned closer and kissed. Deep, 
demanding kiss that left no room for arguing who was in charge here, 
but there was also a little tenderness.

  Elrond thrashed again, shame eating on him, fear and he fought 
Erestor again, but it was to no avail. His body already started reacting 
and it was all against everything he believed in, wanted…

  He actually cried when Erestor slid lower down his body and without 
any preamble, took his half hard erection in his mouth and started 
caressing it skillfully, keeping his hips in strong grip, preventing from 
squirming away. To Elrond's utter disgust, his elfhood hardened 
completely, when his body betrayed him. When he thought it can not 
get any worse, he felt Erestor's slick fingers probing his entrance and 
he howled in anger and shame.

  "Damn you Erestor! What kind of person are you?! This is a rape! 
You are not helping me, you are hurting me!"

  But Erestor didn't listen. However Elrond was too tense to allow any 
kind of penetration without pain. Erestor was however determined to 
carry out his plan and started sucking harder on the Peredel's 
erection, quickly forcing a strong  orgasm from him.

  "No… stop Erestor… please stop… " Elrond was now begging, face 
wet from tears and body flushed and pliant after the orgasm, no 
matter how unwanted it was.

  Erestor didn't answer. He just opened the vial he brought with him 
and coated first his own erection, not bothering even to disrobe 
completely, and then slicked his fingers once again. This time one 
finger slid easily into Elrond's anus, then second and third when he 
worked on loosing the passage.

  "Stop it!"

  But Erestor didn't even look up at him, focused only on his task, and 
Elrond hated him for his own body's reactions. For the arousal that 
started pooling in his abdomen again, for the fact that the post coital 
relaxation made it impossible to fight Erestor, for the fact that his 
thin, fading body made him so weak and vulnerable. 

  "I hate you!" exclaimed Elrond when the fingers were removed and 
he felt the tip of his advisor's erection press into his opening slowly, 
carefully yet with unyielding insistence.

  These words finally elicited some kind of reaction from Erestor.

  "Do you really? Do you think I have never noticed how you looked at 
me, young one? You fancied me and desired my body for a long time. 
Besides, your own body betrayed your real thoughts. You wouldn't 
have reacted to a person you… hate " He finished sinking his entire, 
large length into the too thin body.

  Elrond closed his eyes, panting and crying in equal part from shame 
, pain, pleasure and anger on Erestor and on himself. 

  "I hate you… I will never forgive you this!"

  Soon however he wasn't able to speak, when Erestor started slow 
and steady thrusting and his hand started caressing Elrond's 
hardening arousal. 

  Erestor took him with ease and obvious skill, controlling Elrond's 
body as if it was his own, murmuring soft words of praise and 
affection that only confused Elrond more. Part of him wanted to hear 
them, but other was angry on Erestor for using soft words where his 
actions were a pure contradiction.

  His second orgasm took him by surprise, his body suddenly 
convulsed and he shoot allover his stimach, desperate, ashamed and 
so absolutely lost.

  "I hate you…" he whispered tiredly, never noticing that his own hips 
raised to meet the final thrusts of his advisor and friend. He felt 
Erestor swell impossibly larger inside him and then coat his insides 
with his release, causing a moan to escape his lips.

  Afterwards Elrond just laid there, exhausted, angry… with so many 
emotions inside him, that he was barely aware of his surrounding. He 
came to only when he felt strong hands roll him on his side and then 
circle him. He found himself face to face with Erestor's chest and 
suddenly all broke inside him. He tensed in the embrace for a 
moment, but then he couldn't stand it. The pain and the loneliness 
and he encircled Erestor with his own hands, holding him as if he was 
his lifeline and crying into his chest murmuring words of hate and 
gratefulness. Because it was real, it was something he could hold on 
to. Not the pain and hollowness of loneliness, just this real thing, the 
real warm body beside him that was now holding him, and stroking 
his hair murmuring soft, sweet words of reassurance. 


  Finally, after what seemed eternity, Elrond's sobs subsided and his 
panic eased. Still he stayed in Erestor's arms, sighing gratefully when 
the older Elf covered them with a soft blanked.

  "Don't go…" Elrond was surprised at his own words. He was still 
hurt, angry and ashamed of what happened, but… Erestor was near, 
was here and was holding him, and Elrond needed it so desperately! 
"Don't leave me alone…"

  "I won't. " murmured Erestor softly, drawing the weak Elf closer into 
his arms and kissing the top of his head. "You will be all right, my 
friend. I will see to it." And it was not a question, not just an empty 
phrase to console him in his grief. It wasn't even a promise. It was 
just a statement of fact. 

 ……… And now, looking at the disturbed Elf, sitting in his chair in front 
of the fireplace, drinking a potent brandy straight from the bottle, 
Elrond felt gratefulness and love for Erestor, for what he did for him. 

  Erestor spend with him few more nights, each time there was a 
fight, an exclamation of hate, threats… Erestor kept coming back till 
Elrond finally gave up. The night when Elrond topped fighting and 
enjoyed himself, was the last night. After that Erestor never came 
back to his chambers at night, nor did he mention the events. 

  Elrond knew that Erestor saved his life, making himself an object of 
all those strong, conflicting emotions… it took his mind away from the 
real pain. And the things he said about Elronds attraction to the Chief 
Advisor had been also truth. He was attracted to Erestor. On purely 
physical level. He was not in love with him, but still admired his form 
and his strength. 

  And now, staring at his shadowed face Elrond knew it was his turn 
to help his friend. He wanted to ask what was going on, but knew that 
the advisor would not tell him. He never did.

  So instead he took a goblet from the cabinet and sat in the chair 
next to Erestor, reaching the goblet in his direction, offering his 
presence, his silent comfort. Everything Erestor needed.

  "You are not alone my friend." whispered Elrond softly, seeing the 
dark eyes hooded with pain and… guilt?

  Erestor looked at him only once, catching his gaze for the briefest of 
moments and then poured him brandy. It was going to be  along 
night.

*	*	*

*	*	*

“Omnes vulnerant, postuma necat” – They all hurt, but it is the last 
that kills.


“I think that we should take him to my rooms, Elrohir.  This bed is… 
too small and somebody might disturb us.  My chambers are more 
private.  No one will ask questions if I request a breakfast for several 
people.”

Elrohir nodded in agreement.  Legolas was right.  That was also the 
reason why Elrohir was always sleeping in his rooms, not his own.  If 
somebody noticed that the prince of Imladris had guests during the 
night, they would keep speculating and in effect, give them no 
privacy.

Working quickly, they got up and dressed themselves, then Lindir.  
Thoughtful as always, Elrohir strayed a little to get fresh clothes for 
the Scribe.  When he woke up, he would need them.

Slowly and making sure no one saw them, they made their way to 
Legolas’s chambers.  Elrohir kept looking over his shoulder at his 
lover carrying the white haired Elf with such tenderness.  It always 
surprised him that Legolas could be harsh and demanding one minute 
and incredibly tender and patient the next. 

When they reached Legolas’s chamber, Elrohir regretted for a 
moment that they wouldn’t be able to play their games tonight; he 
had to leave for a week long patrol the day after tomorrow. 

Legolas watched the still, lifeless figure in his arms and cursed Erestor 
for his inability to trust.  Damn it!  The white haired Elf deserved the 
love Erestor could give him, if he ever decided to trust him enough.

With Elrohir’s help, they undressed the chilled Elf and then got rid of 
the clothes themselves.  After they slid under the covers, there was 
an awkward moment. Neither of them knew how to treat a lifeless 
lover, but the situation was very serious.  Lindir was getting colder 
and colder by the moment.  Finally, they started mapping his body 
with hesitant, almost shy touches.  Not caressing yet, merely getting 
to know him. 

Lindir was so different from them.  Where their arms were well 
defined and muscular from wielding different kinds of weapons, Lindir 
was smooth and his body looked more like that of a youth.  And 
although the Elf was much younger than any of them, he was well 
past his majority. 

Finally, it was Legolas who made the first real move.  He moved the 
limp Elf on his back and carefully poised himself above him, then 
leaned closer and kissed him.  First, it was just a chaste brush of 
warm lips over the chilled ones, but then Legolas recalled the way 
Lindir had looked that first night when he’d lured him into his 
chamber pretending to be jealous over Erestor.  Lindir had been 
excited and scared, but still moved gracefully in the dark room.  It 
was lit by only a few candles and the way the light played on his pale 
skin when he kneeled in front of Legolas…

The golden prince slowly deepened the kiss, pressing just a little 
harder, forcing the yielding lips to open up a little more and then 
slipped his tongue inside to taste the younger Elf. 

Lindir hadn’t reacted but his body did seem a little warmer. He felt a 
touch at his arm and obediently moved aside only to see the dark 
haired head of his lover hover above the smooth chest of the 
unconscious Lindir and then the dark, cherry red lips press 
themselves to the nipple, making soft, suckling sounds.

Legolas moaned at the sight and moved to the long pale throat that 
looked so enticing and fastened his lips over the tender flesh behind 
the ear, making sure that the passion mark would be clear and 
visible.  He caught Elrohir’s eyes and the spark in the gray orbs told 
him that he also understood what was going on and moved to the 
other side of Lindir's neck, sucking with fervor on the skin there.  
Erestor would go mad when he saw the clear marks of passion. 

Legolas stroked the pale chest; pleased to feel it slightly warmer, not 
so deadly cold. He smiled when he felt Elrohir’s finger interlace with 
his over Lindir's tummy and then, with their hands still touching, slid 
them lower over the elf’s abdomen and started stroking him slowly as 
they enjoying the touch of the silky,  slowly hardening flesh as well as 
their own hands. 

Lindir was pulled from the quiet, cold but peaceful place he was 
resting back into the world of consciousness and didn’t like it a bit.  
The strange feeling of warmth enveloping him was pleasant but he 
had a vague feeling that there was something important that told him 
to stay in that strange, secluded place. Something he didn’t want to 
remember.

He wasn’t awake yet, but he wasn’t in that far away place either.  The 
warmth he was feeling slowly changed into something more solid.  
Not only the psychical warmth, also the pure psychological one.

It took him a moment to realize that someone was touching him.  The 
vague feeling that he should come back to the place he just left, 
telling him that there was something that forced him to hide there, 
was now only a nagging, strange feeling at the back of his mind.

But he was more conscious by the minute and his mind was more 
active now. Suddenly, it all came back to him.  Cold, black eyes 
looking straight at him and telling him all those terrible things.

Lindir wasn’t aware of the keening wail that left his lips when he was 
finally awake and remembered everything.  God, but it hurt even 
worse now than when Erestor had first left him.  Then, shock and 
confusion dulled the impact of the Advisor’s words.  Now however, 
the pain came back with crushing strength. 

Lindir felt as if his heart was ripped from him and shredded without 
mercy.  He gave Erestor everything he had, everything he believed in, 
everything he was, only to have it thrown back at him.

Shame and pain flooded him, nearly suffocating him with grief.  He 
wasn’t aware of the tears and tremors that rocked his body until he 
started noticing the outside world again.  First, he became aware of 
the soothing touches bestowed on him and the crooned words 
murmured softly into his ear.

Desperately, he wanted it to be Erestor.  Maybe the Advisor changed 
his mind… and he knew these thoughts were humiliating, but he 
would give everything to have him back.  Everything.

“Shh, Sweet One, don’t cry…” If it was possible these words hurt even 
more, because he realized that it wasn’t Erestor… not his voice.

Lindir opened his eyes and blinked, surprised at the sight that greeted 
him. Hovering above him, propped up on their elbows and on each 
side of him were two obviously naked Elves. 

“Legolas?  Elrohir?” He croaked, surprised at his raspy voice. “What…”

However he couldn’t finish the question when another sob wracked 
his body. His confusion considering the strange position he found 
himself in was drowned by the realization that Erestor had thrown 
him away like a broken, used toy. 

Some part of him was surprised at how emotional he was.  Yes he did 
feel deeply for the Advisor, but never had he acted so hysterical in 
front of others!

“Shh… Little One.  Don’t think about it. Don’t cry… let us make love to 
you Lirimaer… let us give you comfort…” Murmured Legolas softly 
against his lips and then kissed him with such sweetness that it took 
Lindir's breath away.  He never would’ve suspected that Legolas was 
capable of such tenderness.  And all the while the golden haired 
prince devoured his mouth, coaxing his tongue to come out and play.  
He felt another set of hands touching him, mapping his body, sending 
shivers of pleasure through it.

Each and every coherent thought was forced out of his mind when he 
felt hot, moist breath at the tip of his already hardening member.  He 
was excited, but still he was too troubled to become fully erect, the 
distress keeping the arousal at bay. But Elrohir had nothing of it and 
without any preamble leaned closer to lick.   Lindir whimpered when 
he felt the first gentle sweeps of his tongue on the sensitive flesh, 
now hardening quickly.  Legolas never did leave his mouth, barely 
breaking the kiss to allow him take a breath before diving for more.

The sweet scent of lavender filled the air, but Lindir didn’t realize just 
what it was until he felt two slick fingers sneaking between his legs to 
touch his puckered opening.

Any thought of protest left his mind when Legolas reached to stroke 
and lightly pinch his nipples. 

Soon, he found himself spreading his legs on his own, eagerly waiting 
for the slick, careful touch.  Somewhere deep inside he knew he could 
trust them to take care of him, to not hurt him.

He sighed into the kiss when slick fingers circled his opening, 
massaging gently not trying to push inside.  His member was already 
hard and leaking. He couldn’t think about anything other than his 
body and the other two elves touching him so beautifully.

He tensed when the first finger breached him, but didn’t try to get 
away from the touch.  Seeing his discomfort and sudden tension, 
Elrohir opened his lips and took his leaking erection once again, 
swirling his tongue teasingly over the head.

Legolas chose that moment to leave his mouth and lowered himself.  
Just when Elrohir started suckling at his shaft, he felt other set of lips 
at his nipple, sucking so hard it was driving him insane.

Lindir arched from the bed with a loud moan, never noticing that 
Elrohir had already eased two fingers in his tight passage.

As if waiting for this, Legolas stopped and propped himself on an 
elbow and made a show of looking at Lindir, from his flushed face and 
mussed hair, lower and lower still, until his steady gaze was fixed on 
the juncture of his legs where two sleek fingers disappeared and 
reappeared in his tight passage.

“Saes…” Moaned Lindir, writhing under the skillful touch of the two 
Elves. 

“Soon Lirimaer, soon… now… watch me!” It was not a plea, it was an 
order and Lindir obliged.

He watched Legolas reach to the jar of lavender smelling oil on the 
bedside table and dip two fingers in it slowly. Then the golden haired 
prince scooted a little lower on the bed, still looking Lindir straight in 
the eye. 

Lindir's breath hitched when he saw Legolas’s hand touch Elrohir’s 
arm and then trail very slowly lower, till it reached the hand between 
his legs. The scribe felt the fingers in him stop moving, stop their 
constant, pleasurable stretch and in helpless fascination watched as 
the newly oiled fingers of Legolas traveled lower until it touched the 
lightly stretched opening.

Lindir shivered when he realized what Legolas wanted to do.  He 
braced himself and then felt the additional pressure.  It didn’t exactly 
hurt but it was a little too much nonetheless.  He already had two 
fingers in him and the additional two were almost a painful stretch.  
Erestor had never splayed him like this.

He gasped when suddenly, his body gave up under the steady 
pressure of Legolas’s fingers and he felt them slip in.  His anus 
burned with the stretch and his passage tensed, causing him more 
pain, but this didn’t stop Legolas’s who was murmuring sweet 
nothings and all the time pushing his fingers along Elrohir’s into the 
heat that was Lindir. 

When they both were buried to the last knuckle, they stopped and 
gave Lindir time to breathe.  Elrohir leaned over the erection that 
hadn’t wilted even during the painful entrance.  He licked it gently 
and sucked lightly, not wanting to give Lindir too much simulation so 
that he couldn’t come.

Even with him in their bed, it was Legolas who controlled the situation 
and Elrohir had no wish to disobey the rules.
They waited patiently until Lindir relaxed a little and his internal 
muscles stopped squeezing their fingers with such force before 
starting to move slowly, carefully to stretch the tight entrance more.

Lindir closed his eyes against the sensations.  It was incredible.  He 
had four fingers inside him, each moving in a different way and it was 
driving him crazy.

“Too much…” He moaned brokenly.

“Nay… this is too much.” Legolas promised him and changed the 
angle of his fingers, finding he little bundle of nerves inside the 
writhing Elf and massaging it strongly and constantly. 
Simultaneously, Elrohir took as much of his erection as he could and 
started sucking in earnest.

Lindir screamed and his body jerked violently when he spent himself 
into the willing mouth of the dark haired Elf. 

But he was never granted a time to actually come down from the 
peak.  Elrohir never stopped caressing him with his tongue, even 
when he protested, his flesh too sensitive.  Nor did Legolas stop 
ruthlessly massaging his prostate.  His shaft never had a chance to 
soften and it hurt, but god, it hurt so good.  He was reduced to 
moans and incoherent pleadings. 

He was trying to escape their touch, but simultaneously spread his 
legs a little wider so that Legolas could settle himself between them.

Lindir whimpered when Elrohir’s mouth left his aching shaft and 
withdrew his fingers from his body.  He opened his eyes to watch 
what was going on. 

The dark haired Elf stretched himself to reach for the jar of oil and 
took a generous amount of it into his palm.  Lindir watched the well 
defined muscles and sun kissed, golden skin stretch as they rippled 
and felt heat pooling down in his groin once again.  By the Valar, but 
the Peredhil were beautiful.

Elrohir crawled back to the two Elves lying on the bed and Lindir 
watched as he kissed Legolas and his hands went to the swollen shaft 
of the Mirkwood prince. 

The oil gleamed in the faint light of the candles and he swallowed; 
watching the two beautiful creatures kiss slowly, yet so very 
passionately. 

Finally, Elrohir broke the kiss and scooted back and then up on the 
bed, lying close to the right side of Lindir.  Giving Lindir a gentle smile 
and a kiss to his jaw, Elrohir reached for his right leg and then 
nudged it until Lindir obeyed and allowed him to bend the knee and 
then pull it closer to his chest.

Lindir felt incredibly exposed like that, especially when he saw Legolas 
watching him so closely, watching his now spread legs and the two 
fingers buried inside his opening.

“You are beautiful Lirimaer… so very, very sweet…” He murmured 
slowly, withdrawing his fingers and leaning closer.

Lindir whimpered when he felt the blunt tip of Legolas’s arousal press 
at his stretched entrance and arched his hips, showing him that he 
wanted it.  Slowly, but unyieldingly, Legolas pressed his whole 
considerable length into him, causing a whimper to leave his lips 
when the hard flesh hit his prostate again.  Not giving him any time 
to recover from the first wave of white hot pleasure, he started 
thrusting, angling his hips so that he hit his pleasure spot each and 
every time.

Lindir felt incredibly stretched and sensitive, his mind able to 
concentrate only on the feeling of that hard flesh sliding in and out of 
him, hitting his prostate over and over again, driving him to 
completion without a single touch to his elfhood.

He screamed and spilled his hot essence on his stomach, his muscles 
clenching and milking Legolas’s orgasm from him.  Lindir whimpered 
at the feeling of hot come bathing his insides. 

He lay boneless on the bed and didn’t even twitch when Legolas 
gently withdrew from him and leaned closer for a kiss, caressing his 
lips with the very tip of his tongue.

The reverie was sneaking up on him, but he was still aware of the 
warm body at his side and the hard shaft poking him in the hip.  He 
turned to look at Elrohir, flushed and tense with his unfulfilled desire 
and tried to say with his eyes, what he was afraid to voice. 

“Are you sure, Pen-melui?” Asked Elrohir gently and Lindir nodded.  
As long as he was with them, he couldn’t think of Erestor and this was 
most important for him.  Besides, he did desire Elrohir.  He was dark, 
strong and so alike yet different that other Elves due to his mortal 
heritage.

Elrohir sat on the bed and Lindir felt strong arms, Legolas, lifting him 
and pushing so that he knelt over Elrohir. 

The dark haired prince closed his lips over his, kissing him more 
forcefully than Legolas, showing his need in the caress.  His hands 
closed over his lean hips and kept him in place, poised a few inches 
above the straining erection. 

Lindir flushed bright red when he realized why.  Slowly, due to his 
widespread thighs, his seed and the oil Legolas used for lubrication 
was slipping out of his puckered opening and he closed his eyes when 
he felt another finger touch his anus and massage the fluids into the 
now tender, slightly reddened opening.

After what seemed an eternity of waiting and allowing them to look at 
his body, Lindir felt Elrohir press his hips down and he complied 
lowering himself on the thick shaft.  He couldn’t stop a loud moan 
that left his lips when he felt the erection breach him, stretch him 
more than Legolas did, fill him, and press at his pleasure spot.  He 
closed his arms over Elrohir’s neck and held on while lowering himself 
to take as much of the thick shaft as possible.

Lindir was vaguely aware of the sucking kisses on his neck and nimble 
hands stroking his own erection, and the hot body of Legolas behind 
his back offering support. His own orgasm took him by surprise and 
he screamed, clenching his muscles around that hard invader inside 
him, arching his spine. When it was over, he was spent and drained.  
He just rode the more urgent thrusts of the dark haired Elf, letting 
him do as he pleased, his body so relaxed that it didn’t even hurt 
when his thrusts became frantic and finally Elrohir tensed and with a 
choked gasp and came inside him, splashing his channel with more 
seed.

Lindir knew that the wet slickness of it would remain inside him for 
most of the next day, but he decided it would be a pleasurable 
reminder of their night together. 

The Scribe lay still while Legolas rearranged them on the bed and 
rose, only to return with a wet cloth he used to tenderly clean the 
remnants of their passion.

Lindir was falling asleep when he heard Legolas speak.

“What happened Lindir?”

The pain came crushing back on him, and he closed his eyes to get 
control over himself.

“Erestor… he… he broke with me… and he said…”  And he told them. 
Told about all those painful, cruel words Erestor said to him.  
Surprisingly. He felt better after purging the words that had hurt him 
so.

“Now listen to me Lindir. No matter what Erestor said, he didn’t mean 
it.  He cares for you deeply and it scares him. Elrohir can be a 
witness.” Said Legolas gently, pulling the exhausted Elf closer to his 
body. “Do you know why Erestor left?”

Lindir shook his head.  He never had the chance to discuss it with 
Erestor.

“Because he was afraid he hurt you, that he forced you, Lindir. He 
was terrified of this.  His past is very painful and he can’t, doesn’t 
want to trust again or fall in love.  I can’t promise you that everything 
will be all right, but I swear that all those terrible things he said, he 
said only to push you away.”

“So what should I do now?” Asked Lindir, the pain in his chest easing 
slightly.

Legolas sighed pulling him even closer.

“I don’t know Lirimaer. I don’t know…”


TBC in part 10

melethron - lover
Lirimaer - lovely, or beautiful one
Ada-  dad
Lirimaer – lovely, or beautiful one
Saes – please
Pen-melui - sweet one, beautiful one
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