Title:  Merry and Pippin's Relief
Author:  Ezra's Persian Kitty
(ezraspersiankitty@yahoo.com)
Pairings:  Merry/Pippin/Boromir (also Sam/Frodo,
Legolas/Gimli, Aragorn/Elrond)
Rating: NC-17 (just to be safe; it's a tough call)
Summary: Merry and Pippin seek relief.
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't profit, don't sue.
Warning: mmm... Poetry?  Is that a warning?
Author's Notes: Just a little ditty to keep me
laughing.

***

 
There once were some hobbits from Shire
Who were in a situation quite dire
	Randy as a rabbit
	An inconvenient habit
For at night they were not at all tired

To Frodo and Sam they went
But found the pair quite content
	Curled up in bed
	Sam gave Frodo head
And said to the cousins, “Get bent”

So to Legolas they went for relief
But he’d already found a hole for his beef
	Gimli, Gloin’s son
	Had tons of fun
Much to Merry and Pip’s disbelief

They passed the wizard right by
Though they knew he was not shy
	Their standards were low
	But to Gandalf they’d not go
Not with two scruffy men quite near by

Aragorn that night was on watch 
And they marched right up to his crotch
	His face did not twitch
	“I’m Elrond’s bitch”
And it was clear he was not one to debauch

On Boromir they’d next try their charms
And he woke with sudden alarm
	They bent to his ear
	Their whispers quite clear
The warrior smiled and opened his arms

The hobbits were soon to discover
That the man was a talented lover
	After much exercise deep
	They all fell asleep 
And slumbered together under cover

The moral of the story is this:
Just because you’re continually dismissed
	Don’t give up hope
	Don’t whine or mope
Just keep on the man and insist!