Series: Before the Dawn Trilogy
Title: Long Lost Words
Author: Orchyd Constyne
Contact: orchydconstyne@hamena.org
Fandom: LOTR
Archive: Any, so long as I know where it is  ^^
Rating: NC-17
Beta: Silvara, the most patient beta in existence...
Cast: Celeborn/Haldir
Timeline: Winter, Year 2513 of the Third Age
Spoilers:  None
Summary: Galadriel comes to Celeborn, telling him of her plans to
leave Middle-Earth in their future.  The truth of their marriage and
his where his love lies is brought to his attention and he must make a
decision that will affect himself and his March Warden, who is more
than reluctant to allow the Lorien Lord to have sway over his heart
once more.
A/N:  Yes, I know.  I said only three trilogies, didn't I?  ^^  "Time
Until the End of Time" is complete, yes.  This story, though, touches
on the few facts we are given in that series regarding Celeborn and
Haldir.
In the second trilogy, I let everyone know the two Lorien Elves were
lovers when Celeborn sent Haldir to retrieve Glorfindel.  Here is
their story.  ^^  Just like the others, it is based on the songs that
inspired them -- these are Evanescence.

---

Menegroth, 55 of the First Age

The young Elf stood near one of the many fountains in the great halls
of Thingol.  Silver on marble, the clear, cascading water babbling
softly, lulling the Elf whose heart was troubled.  He was not alone
for long.

In the quiet, dimly lit hall the Elf sat in came the soft footsteps of
one he knew only too well.  He refused to turn to him, fearing he
would lose all his resolve, fearing he would beg.

The new Elf stopped behind the young one and silence hung heavy
between them.  Finally, the low timber of the Lord who stood behind
him demanded his attention.

"I am sorry."

He felt tears form in his eyes, his lip trembling.  "I know."

"Will you please look at me?"

"No."

A pained sigh.  "This is for the best."

"It is political.  Nothing more."

"You could remain with me."

The young Elf scoffed, finally turning his tear-filled blue eyes to
his companion.  "Remain with you?  As a consort?  I always thought I
meant more to you than that."

He was embraced suddenly, feeling the warm weight of the body that he
had loved since before the dawning of the First Age.  He choked on his
sob and pushed the Elf away from him.

"Please, do not do this."

"Go to her.  Leave me in peace."

"My heart breaks.  I love you."

"You chose the path."

"The path was chosen for me."

The young Elf laughed bitterly.  "How convenient.  No blame rests on
you.  You can have me in your bed for time untold and then cast me
aside when I no longer suit your purpose, it's simply your *path*."

"That is unfair, pen-neth.  You do us a dishonor by belittling the
love we share."

"*You* do us dishonor by marrying and throwing me away!"  He was angry
now.  He had been angry for months.  This wasn't how it was supposed
to be!  He was supposed to love him, to be with him until the end of
their time.

Silver eyes flashed.  "I am not throwing you away.  You walked away."

"I will not be your whore."

Stiff silence.

"Did you think that we would be together for the rest of time?"  Cruel
laughter.  "My station in this realm does not lend me the freedom to
keep a young Elf in my bed.  It demands I have a wife, sire children.
You cannot be that to me."

"I am glad that this was so easy for you to reconcile.  What more is
there to say, my Lord?  It is not as if I ever had a choice in this,
as if my opinion, feelings or position were taken into account when
you took your path."  The young Elf walked past the older one, holding
his head high as the tears fell freely down his cheeks.

The Lord who was left behind opened his mouth to send a scalding,
cruel comment after his young lover, but quickly bit back the angry
words.  He wished his love would understand, would look at the greater
picture.  But, he had refused.  Tomorrow was the Lord's wedding day,
and it was both a blessed event as well as one he loathed to attend.
He did not love her, they decided they would not bond, but the
marriage would unite their lines and strengthen their race.

From the shadows of the hall, Thingol watched his dear friend and
kinsman.  He knew his heart was heavy and the King wished he could do
something to aid him.  Watching the retreating figure, one of beauty
and stately confidence, Thingol wondered if the Prince and the Warrior
would ever find happiness.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Nevrast, 56 of the First Age

He walked proud and tall behind the dark-haired Elf who brought him
before the ruler of the realm.  He was wearing the colors of his
homeland, silver robes lined with pure white with pale green leaves
embroidered on the soft materials.  The Elf was a vision with shocking
blue eyes and hair the shade of moonlight.  He was also a great
warrior of Thingol.  He had left his home, with the blessings of
Thingol, and came to Nevrast to seek a place in Turgon's court.  Now
that he was here, though, the Elf missed his home within Menegroth
terribly.

"Haldir of Doriath, my Lord," said the Elf who led him to stand
before the King.

Turgon nodded, his glittering eyes watching Haldir closely.  "What is
it you seek, Haldir of Doriath?"

"I seek a home and a place within your guard, my Lord.  My Lord
Thingol felt that if I were to leave his service and look to serve
elsewhere, that he should direct me to your court."  Haldir had been
close to Thingol, mainly due to his lover being a kinsman of the King.
In time, Thingol had sought him out, enjoying his company and biting
sarcasm.  "I have a letter from my Lord, explaining my situation and
requesting your understanding."  Haldir passed the sealed parchment to
the Elf who had led him to Turgon and waited patiently.

Turgon read the scroll quickly, nodding slightly.  "Thingol says you
are a valiant warrior, trained well and you held a high position
within his guard."

Haldir nodded, "Aye, my Lord."

Turgon rolled the scroll up once more and looked at the pale-haired
Elf.  He sensed a noble air around the warrior and he made his
decision.  "Welcome to Nevrast, Haldir.  I would like for you to take
a place among my personal guard, since Thingol has such faith in your
abilities."

Haldir was surprised at the quick acceptance and the easy trust the
Elf-lord exhibited.  "I am honored, my Lord."

The older Elf smiled at the younger one, knowing that he would get
along well with the Doriath Elf.  "Go now.  Ecthelion will take you
to the Guard quarters."  He motioned to the dark-haired Elf who had
brought him to the King.

As the silver-haired Elf followed, Ecthelion found himself smiling at
the serious expression in the blue eyes.  "Welcome to our home, Haldir
of Doriath."

Haldir finally smiled, knowing he had found someplace to belong.  He
would be happy here... as happy as he could be after losing his lover
to marriage.  He hoped Celeborn was happy.  Though, Haldir reflected,
could it have ever been any other way for them?  Celeborn was a
Prince, Haldir nothing but a warrior.  "Thank you, my Lord."  Yes,
this was where he belonged, in a great Guard serving a great Elf.  It
made no difference to Haldir what army or Elf he served under, so long
as Celeborn was far away from him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gondolin -- 510 of the First Age

Haldir skidded into the King's Square, his bow discarded and he drew
his sword.  They had been fighting an endless battle, it seemed.  He
was out of arrows and most of his House had already perished.  He had
come with what was left of The House of Swallows, but there were so
few of them left... so few of any left.  The Square was filled with
what was left of the mighty Houses of Gondolin, the sounds of battle
outside the Square causing Haldir to shiver.

What was left of his bowmen assembled near, their dark blue and
white tunics and deep purple cloaks fluttering in the winds of the
Square.  They held their shields, emblazoned with their crest -- a
great purple arrowhead -- and the feathers in their helms moved with
their swift movements, trying to barricade the gates into the Square.
Haldir did not see Duilin accounted for in the numbers of his House
and his heart grieved the loss of their Lord.

Haldir went with his men and helped bar one of the gates into the
Square, taking note of Glorfindel and his Elves at another gate.  He
worried about Ecthelion, though, he had not seen the Elf in hours...
He made a quick scan and saw the dark-haired Captain at the Fountain.
He looked wounded, but Haldir was just thrilled his two closest
friends were still alive.

How much longer that would last, he didn't know.  But, they would not
let Gondolin go without a fight.

Suddenly a fire drake broke through one of the gates and with it the
flood of evil beings.  Tuor stood before the great beast and Haldir
cried out.  Haldir's heart then stopped when he saw the huge, fiery
Balrog advance into the Square, backing Tuor closer and closer to the
Fountain.  Gothmog had come for them.  Haldir thought the King's son-
in-law was to perish then, but he saw Ecthelion rush forward,
battling the Balrog Lord himself.  Haldir spared a moment's glance to
Glorfindel who had not seen his lover engage the great demon.

Fighting with renewed vigor, Haldir led The House of Swallows against
the tide of demons and vile creatures that came into the Square.
After a few moments, though, he heard Tuor cry out and turned in time
to see Ecthelion drive his spiked helm into the Balrog, wrapping
himself about the fiery beast and pull him into the King's Fountain.
His heart froze; Glorfindel would be devastated when the fighting was
over...

He had no time to dwell on Ecthelion, though.  Time enough later for
grief, he thought to himself.  He made his way to Tuor's side, his
sword clashing and his muscles screaming with overexertion.  The enemy
was losing its confidence and the remaining members of Gondolin had
begun to beat them back and away.  Suddenly, to the relief of all
those in the Square, Turgon and his men came riding in and cutting
right through the creatures.

Hope rose in his heart then, that they would save Gondolin.  The price
would be high, but they could rebuild.  Glorfindel had made his way to
Haldir and Tuor and called out Ecthelion's name, searching for his
missing lover.  The azure eyes of the Golden Flower met the cool water
orbs of the Swallow and Glorfindel knew...  Haldir sent him silent
comfort and returned to battle.  The golden warrior let out a cry of
anguish and flung himself at his enemies.

The men in the Royal Guard fought the fire drake and forced it into
the Fountain where valiant Ecthelion had met his end, but that was
also the end of the great Fountain.  Haldir felt tears come to his
eyes; he was exhausted, covered in foul fluids and his tears.  Haldir
watched as most of that Guard fell in the intense heat of the drake
and he felt despair fall upon him.  They would not survive the siege
of Gondolin.

Turgon fought near Glorfindel, a body of his few remaining Guards
defending him against the beasts that came past the Elves at the front
of the Square.

"Great is the Fall of Gondolin!" called out Turgon and whatever hope
had remained was squashed by the King's words.

"Gondolin stands, and Ulmo will not suffer it to perish," was Tuor's
response, his eyes wild and full of fury.

Turgon shook his head and called back, "Evil have I brought upon the
Flower of the Plain in despite of Ulmo, and he now leaves it to
whither in fire. Lo! No more hope is in my heart for my city of
loveliness, but the children of the Noldoli shall not be worsted
forever. Fight not against doom, O, my children. Seek those who may,
safety in flight, but let Tuor have your lealty."

Haldir knew Turgon was calling for them to retreat, but how could he
leave his city, his home, his fallen kin... his King?  He also feared
remaining, thinking he would never get the opportunity to see Celeborn
again, to forgive the Prince for casting him aside.  But, he could not
dessert Turgon in his time of need.

Tuor seethed.  "Thou art King."

"Yet no blow shall I strike more," came Turgon's weary voice.  He
removed his crown from his head and threw it to the ground.  Galdor,
who had been defending his King with fervor, picked it up,
insisting Turgon wear it.  The King would not accept it, he left his
men, crownless and went up the white tower of his palace. His
voice rang out with the force of a horn, and he cried, "Great is the
Victory of the Noldoli!"

Glorfindel grabbed Haldir's arm.  "Come, Haldir!"

Haldir did as he was bid, following Glorfindel after Tuor, bringing
up the rear with what was left of the The House of the Golden Flower.
It was only then, in the midst of retreat, that Haldir realized he
was the last of his House.  He watched as Elf after Elf of
Glorfindel's great House fell, defending the women and children who
fled before them.  When they came into sight of Idril, they all
followed her gaze to where Turgon stood.  Haldir's soul cried out,
seeing his King and friend fall in fire with the serpent about the
white tower.

Glorfindel pulled Haldir away from the sight, away from the great
burning city.  The few remaining Gondolithrim ran, using the hidden
tunnel, fleeing Gondolin.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Isle of Balar -- 510 of the First Age

Haldir, worn and weary, marched dejectedly through the halls of Gil-
Galad's estate.  He had traveled, without stop, for almost three
months.  He had left Tuor and Idril to set sail over the Sea, taking
with him the very few remaining warriors.  Galathil had been
kind when he greeted the Gondolin party and Haldir was relieved when
he had a servant take his men to rooms where they could rest and
bathe.  Haldir, though, insisted he be taken immediately to Gil-Galad.

The great hall where the Lord and his guests were assembled fell
silent when Elrond led the dirty, ragged Elf into the room.

"Lord Haldir of Gondolin, of The House of Swallows, my Lord."

From beside Gil-Galad stood a tall, silver-haired Elf-lord.  Haldir's
eyes widened when Celeborn gaped at him.  Gil-Galad cleared his
throat.  "Is there a reason, Lord Haldir, that you come before us in
such a terrible state of disarray?"  It was not a cruel or harsh
comment, and even if it was, Haldir was too exhausted to care.

"I bring news from Gondolin.  The city has fallen; King Turgon has
fallen in defense of the city.  His successor, Lord Tuor, has taken
across the Sea with his wife, abdicating the throne.  It is with a
heavy heart, and few survivors of the fair city, that I come to tell
you that you are now the High King of the Noldor."  Haldir swayed on
his feet and nearly fainted when strong arms caught him.  He looked up
into concerned silver eyes.

"Why have you not rested, Haldir?"  Celeborn could not understand why
his old lover would have used all the energy he had without thought
of his well-being.

Haldir pulled away.  "I have not rested, my Lord," he said bitterly,
"because my city, my King, my *kin* are gone.  Lord Ecthelion fell
fighting Gothmog and Lord Glorfindel fell while defending us against
another Balrog that threatened to block our escape.  Myself and four
warriors of The House of the Golden Flower survived to make it here.
It was my duty to Turgon and to Tuor to come here as quickly as
possible."

Gil-Galad was impressed with the conviction and loyalty the warrior
displayed.  "Go and rest, Lord Haldir.  I am sure you need it.  When
you are recovered, I would like to speak with you.  You are a brave
Elf, a warrior with great courage.  I would like for you to feel
welcome in our Guard."

Haldir bowed before his new King.  "I have never cared where I served
or who I served under, so long as they were a fair and just ruler.  I
would be honored to serve Turgon's kin as I served him."

He gave one last heated look at Celeborn and then swiftly followed
Galathil out of the chamber and to the baths.  He had once more had
everything ripped from him, but at least he had someplace to go, he
still had purpose.

He did not see Celeborn again until many years later, the Elf-lord
having bid his farewells and returning to Eregion, delivering the news
to the Elves in his care.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Imladris -- 1697 of the Second Age

Glorfindel called out to Haldir, demanding the Elf drag back their
wounded.  Elrond had called for them to retreat into this valley,
where he set up refuge from Sauron's forces.  They could hold off the
valley, but they were all growing weary.

Haldir had been surprised when Glorfindel had reappeared in Lindon not
too long before Elrond had been sent out to aid Celeborn in Eregion.
They had arrived too late, though, and only a small host of the
Eregion Elves were left alive.  Haldir hated to admit it, but he was
relieved when they found Lord Celeborn still at the front of his men,
fighting against the Orcs that swarmed his lands.

The Captain of Gil-Galad's army began pulling back wounded Elves, with
the aid of Gildor, Erestor, Rumil, and Orophin.  Within moments,
though, the five Elves returned to battle.  Haldir kept a close eye on
his brothers.  Haldir had taken them in a thousand years ago, after
their parents had been taken by Orcs.  Orophin had been but sixteen,
and Rumil was only a babe at that time, but Gil-Galad and Elrond had
welcomed his family and taken a personal interest in the sullen
Orophin.

Now, they fought with great skill, and Haldir had never been more
proud.  He could see Celeborn in the distance, shining in his mithril
armor, wielding his sword with fervor.  He had always thought his old
lover possessed a deadly beauty, and it was here that he saw it in
action.

They had a few thousand Elves set in this valley; they were holding
their ground.  When a lull came in the fighting, when the sun had
begun to rise and the Orcs fled for the safety of the wood, they
called a council of the highest officers.  Glorfindel, Erestor,
Elrond, Celeborn, Haldir and Gildor assembled.

"They are keeping us occupied," Elrond said.  "We cannot aid Eregion
or Lindon so long as we are kept surrounded here."

The group nodded and discussion of tactics and plans carried them well
into the afternoon.  As the sun made its descent, Elrond dismissed
everyone to their tents, telling them to rest up for another long
night.

*****

Celeborn was already waiting in Haldir's tent before the Captain
entered.  Haldir froze, startled, as he took in the sight of the Lord
of Eregion sitting casually on the makeshift cot.  "Lord Celeborn," he
said stiffly.

"I think you and I are past all formalities, Haldir," Celeborn said
with a trace of a smile.

"As you say," was the too-formal reply.

Celeborn laughed.  "Haldir, come now!  Is that any way to treat a
friend?"

"I was not aware that we were friends."

"We used to be much more than that."

"A situation that, as I recall, ended nigh on two thousand years ago.
I am not the battle-green young warrior that you abandoned in
Menegroth.  I have seen enough war and death to last me until the end
of my
days.  I have watched those I fought beside fall in an instant.  It
has taught me that time is precious, that the present is all that
matters for it may not last the night.  So, why, *Lord* Celeborn,
should I waste these precious moments discussing the past?"

Celeborn stood, his face a mixture of surprise, respect, and anger.
He paused a moment, and his expression returned to that of casual
joviality.  "It is not the past I wish to discuss, but the future," he
replied as he crossed the small space to stand in front of Haldir.

"What makes you think that I would allow you to have any part in my
future?" Haldir asked, indignant.

Celeborn continued to advance on Haldir; the warrior instinctively
stepped back until he was pressed against the side of the small tent.
Celeborn moved closer, breathing deeply of the battle-worn scent of
his former lover.  He leaned in and kissed Haldir.

Haldir resisted as much as he could, but his body and his heart
eventually overwhelmed his mind, and he felt himself yield to the
kiss.  His eyes closed, breath catching in his throat.  He did not
resist when Celeborn opened his mouth and slid his tongue between
Haldir's lips, but neither did he reciprocate.

Celeborn broke the kiss finally, moving back only a step.  "That
does," he answered.  His eyes roamed down the Captain's body, taking
in the bulge that had developed in his leggings.  "And so does this,"
Celeborn continued, reaching out a hand to cup the firmness between
Haldir's legs.

Haldir stood immobile as the Lord of Eregion knelt before him, deftly
pulling loose the ties of his leggings and sliding them to the floor.
The erection he'd been unable to control swelled even more upon being
freed from the confines of clothing.  Haldir knew what was about to
happen and found himself powerless to prevent it.  His body did desire
Celeborn; his heart still longed for his old love; even his mind had
to admit that he was far too weary to protest.

The blonde Lord took Haldir's silence as assent and wasted no time in
enveloping Haldir's shaft with his mouth.  Celeborn sighed at the feel
of the familiar skin crossing his lips.  His feelings for Haldir had
never changed over the long years, and he still wished to rekindle the
relationship they had left in Doriath those many centuries ago.  When
Haldir had shown up with Elrond and the other Elves dispatched from
Lindon, Celeborn had been breathless at the change in the younger Elf.
He'd since been hoping for an opportunity just like this to catch
Haldir alone.

Haldir groaned in spite of himself as Celeborn's warm mouth covered
his firm cock.  Haldir had never taken another lover in all the years
since he left Doriath, a fact that he became acutely aware of as
Celeborn sucked on the head of his arousal and wrapped his fingers
around the shaft.  Haldir's hips began to thrust, partly from desire
and partly from his sudden difficulty to remain standing.  When
Celeborn removed his hand and drew Haldir's erection deep into his
mouth with each thrust, that difficulty increased, and Haldir's knees
felt weak and unsteady.

Celeborn, as if sensing his partner's unease, slid his hands up to
grip Haldir's arse, holding the Elf steady while his lips continued to
caress the stiff rod being pushed into his mouth.  Celeborn was
unaware of Haldir's celibacy, so he was surprised when only a few
minutes passed before he heard the warrior call out and felt the hot
liquid spill into his mouth.

When Haldir was spent, Celeborn stood, pulling up the Captain's
leggings as he did.  As soon as the Lord was eye level to Haldir, the
younger Elf spat in his face.  "Thank you, Lord Celeborn, for
reminding me exactly what you felt my worth and importance to be," he
hissed through clenched teeth.  "I trust you can find your way out."

Celeborn wiped his face, too stunned to speak.  Haldir pushed past
him and busied himself checking the integrity of his recovered arrows.
The Eregion Lord took the hint and exited the tent without another
word.  As soon as Haldir heard Celeborn leave, the pretense of
strength he'd been projecting crumbled.  He slumped onto his side on
the cot, his pride the only thing holding back tears as he fell into a
pit of shame and self-loathing.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Imladris -- 1 of the Third Age

The three companions slowly stopped their mounts, gracefully
dismounting regardless of their fatigue.  They had been the last of
the Elves from Imladris to leave Mordor and had come as quickly as
they could.  Glorfindel took their horses to the stable while Haldir
and Erestor stretched their stiff limbs.

"It is good to be home," was Erestor's quiet statement.  Haldir had
always been impressed with the subdued Advisor.  Erestor had proven
himself a fierce and loyal warrior.  His skill was amazing and rivaled
that of Haldir's and Glorfindel's.  Haldir always had the odd
sensation that he *knew* Erestor, but he had not met the Noldo until
Erestor had come to Gil-Galad's court as Elrond's scribe many, many
years ago.  Since then, the Elf had become a brilliant tactician,
could wield a sword as any seasoned warrior, and his talents as an 
archer would have made him welcome in Haldir's House in Gondolin had 
Erestor lived then.

"Aye, home."  This was to be his home.  Elrond had left Lindon
permanently, and at the end of the Siege of Barad-dur, the Half-Elf
had asked if Haldir would come back to Imladris as his Captain.
Haldir had been honored and received leave fro  Cirdan to return with
Glorfindel and Erestor, Cirdan assuring Haldir that he would send his
brothers as soon as he returned to Lindon.  "I hope Rumil and Orophin
will be happy here."

"Who couldn't be happy here, meldir?"  Glorfindel, who was never
without a smile, shone radiantly in the afternoon sun.

Erestor and Haldir couldn't help but laugh, feeling the weight of war
and evil finally lifting from their hearts.  Haldir gave a small
sniff.  "I do believe we could all use a bath."

"Aye!" came a call.  "You three smell of grime, horse, and... whatever
else it is wafting up to offend my delicate sensibilities!"  The three
at the base of the main stairs into the Last Homely House looked up to
find their Lord dressed in rich robes, smiling at them.

"Elrond," Glorfindel chided.  "Have you forgotten all your diplomacy?"

The four began walking to the family wing.  Elrond had insisted they
each take quarters there, he felt closest to them and wanted them
near.  Especially now.  Haldir's heart bled for the Peredhel.
Something was missing from his deep voice, a spark was gone from his
grey eyes.  The new Mirkwood King had taken that from their beloved
Lord on the fields of battle.  Haldir sighed softly, happy to see his
friend laughing once again.  Even if it was hollow sounding.

Elrond came to a stop in front of a door.  "These are yours,
Glorfindel.  Next to them on the left are for Haldir, to the right are
yours, Erestor."

"Thank you, my Lord," they said in unison.

Elrond chuckled.  "Go, unpack, bathe and change.  We will eat in the
Hall of Fire in two hours."  He turned to go, heading toward the main
study, but called over his shoulder, "I almost forgot.  Lord Celeborn
and the Lady Galadriel have taken up residence with us.  They will be
here indefinitely."  With that, the Peredhel disappeared from sight.

*****

He couldn't do this.

Haldir stood in front of the full-length mirror inspecting himself.
He now wore the Guard uniform of Imladris, the rich reds and browns
displaying the shocking contrast of his pale blond hair, clear blue
eyes and his alabaster skin.  He looked much different from the many
dark-haired, dark-eyed Noldor who populated the halls of Imladris.
But, he would not be the only exotic Elf.  Celeborn was there.  With
his wife.

And their daughter.

The Captain buckled his sword to his waist and checked his braids one
last time.  Holding his head high, forgetting the humiliation he had
felt at Celeborn's hands centuries ago, he entered the hall where
Glorfindel, Erestor and Lindir waited for him.

Glorfindel wore formal robes in deep blues and white, his hair shining
with that internal radiance only the Balrog-slayer had.  Lindir wore a
simple red tunic over a gold shirt and black leggings, showing his
status as a member of the household staff and highlighting the light
gold hair that was neatly braided in one rope down his back.  Erestor
had taken to wearing black robes, stiff and somber, causing his
porcelain skin to become lost amidst thick, sable tresses and large,
charcoal eyes.  They were quite a shocking group.

"Shall we?" asked Erestor, falling into step with Lindir.

Glorfindel sneered slightly at the back of Erestor's head.  Haldir had
to stifle his chuckle and slipped his hand into Glorfindel's.  He had
not had a lover since Celeborn and had been even less interested in
romance after that moment in the tent, but Glorfindel had been
persistent.  They had been lovers for a few years now and Haldir took
great comfort in the Elda's affection.

When the four Elves entered the Hall of Fire, they realized they were
the last to be seated.  Elrond sat at the head table, Erestor taking
his place to Elrond's left.  It was no secret the Councilor and the
Lord were lovers, Haldir just questioned the motives of each partner.
Glorfindel took his place to Elrond's right and Haldir sat at the
Seneschal's side.  It was only when he had situated himself that he
realized Celeborn sat in front of him, as an honored guest.

Glorfindel noticed Haldir pale and eyes go wide.  He leaned over,
placing his hand lightly on the Sinda's thigh.  "Meleth?" he
whispered.

"I..." was all Haldir could make come out of his mouth.  He had not
truly been prepared to see the Lord once again.  The cold silver eyes
gazed steadily at him.  Haldir had the sudden sensation of being
hunted.  The look in Celeborn's eyes was that of a large cat sizing up
its prey.  He blinked a couple times and turned to face his lover,
smiling gently at him.  "I am well, seron vell.  Truly.  Just...
tired."

Celeborn's eyes flashed with jealousy as he watched his old lover
speaking in hushed tones with the Elda.  He had a great respect for
Glorfindel, but he still loved Haldir and seeing them in such an
intimate pose made him want to throttle the Seneschal.

The meal passed without major incident.  Celeborn's eyes rarely left
the Imladris Captain, and Haldir kept up conversation with his four
dear friends.  As the night drew to a close, Elrond excused himself
and Erestor, taking their leave and promising to see Galadriel in the
morning.  Glorfindel stood, taking Haldir's hand in his, and escorted
his lover from the Hall, oblivious to the dagger shooting from the
Eregion Lord's eyes.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Imladris -- 130 of the Third Age

Celeborn sat in the rocking chair near the window, his eyes filled
with tears.  He held in his arms his first grandson.  Elladan had
screamed for hours and finally calmed once Celebrian had put him into
his Ata'da's embrace.  Galadriel paced a few feet away, rocking and
singing softly to Elrohir, who had become distraught when Elladan had
been removed from the crib.

"They are beautiful," Celeborn breathed.

Galadriel smiled her knowing smile, regarding her husband with a
sadness in her eyes.  Elrohir had finally calmed and Elladan was
sleeping deeply.  She motioned for Celeborn to put their grandson in
the crib with his brother and pulled him into the hall.  They walked
silently to their rooms, Galadriel deep in thought.  Once in their
suite, she turned to him.

"My Lord, why is it you have never taken a lover?"

Celeborn was taken aback by the bluntness of her question.  "It would
do you a dishonor, my Lady."

Galadriel laughed, the tinkling sound warming Celeborn's heart.  They
had not married for love, but they had grown fond of one another
through the years.  Galadriel was a kind, wise woman and Celeborn
found her to be a very generous companion.  "Celeborn.  We have had
our daughter.  She had grown, married, and now has children of her
own.  You have fulfilled your duty to me and our child."

He shifted uncomfortably, hating that they were having this discussion
at all.  "Why do you bring this up now, my Lady?"

"Two reasons.  The first is I have seen how you look at Elrond's
Captain when the Elf decides to remain in the house for more than a
night.  He runs from you, and I do not know why.  Can you tell me, my
Lord?"

Celeborn knew that Galadriel probably already had a good grasp on the
relationship he and Haldir had shared.  He cleared his throat and took
a seat on the bed.  Galadriel seated herself elegantly on the
window seat, crossing her legs and folding her hands in her lap.  She
was the perfect image of composure.  "He and I were lovers before we
agreed to marry.  It did not end well, and he left Menegroth for
Nevrast.  I lost track of him when Turgon took his people to Gondolin,
but he resurfaced in Gil-Galad's court after the siege.  We did not
speak to one another, though, until after Eregion, when we were
defending ourselves in this very valley."

Galadriel cocked her head to the side.  "He still carries this pain
from your parting?"

Celeborn could not look her in the eyes.  "I offered him my bed, back
in Menegroth.  He refused, told me he was not my whore.  I loved him,
he just could not reconcile that I could love him, and you and I could
still marry.  I made a mistake when he and I spoke here last.  I...
took advantage of the situation and just made him think I thought he
was nothing but a body.  He has not spoken to me since."

"Yet you still love him..."

"Yes."  He had never been able to lie to her.  Celeborn did not think
it was possible for anyone to hide the truth of their heart from his
wife.

She nodded slowly, her eyes distant as she seemed to look at something
he could not.  "He loves you.  He is just very... conflicted.  You
should seek him, win his friendship and see if he can ever move beyond
what he sees as a betrayal on your part."

"Galadriel, I will not befriend him in the hopes of taking him back
into my bed.  You have that place in my life, not him."  He was
growing frustrated; she did not seem to understand his need to be
loyal to her.  He had decided that night, after Haldir had rejected
him, that it was better to be faithful to his wife and spend his
lifetime chasing after the warrior.

"There was a second reason I asked you why you never took a lover.  My
time here in Middle-Earth is ending."

Alarm lit Celeborn's eyes.  "Are you not well?"

She chuckles, lowering her eyes.  "I will soon leave these shores,
Celeborn.  I will leave you behind.  You will not sail from Middle-
Earth for many years after I.  My respect and yes, even love, for you
dictates I should counsel you to fulfill your heart's desire.  We may
never have fallen in love, but I have come to care greatly about you
and your happiness.  You are not happy and never will be if you do not
take this step.  It is not a betrayal to me or our daughter.  It is a
betrayal to you and Haldir if you choose to ignore my wisdom."

The Lady of Light stood and stroked Celeborn's cheek.  "You have made
me very happy all these years, my Lord.  Let me make what remains of
yours as joyful as mine have been."

*****

Celeborn sat in the small office that Elrond had given to Haldir.  The
Captain was due back any moment now and he was eager to speak with
him.  Galadriel had gone to Celebrian after their talk that morning
and was engrossed in their grandchildren.  There was a twinge of guilt
in his gut at taking what Galadriel offered so freely, but he put that
aside, needing to be looked upon with kind eyes once more by his old
love.

After a few moments, the door to the office opened and Haldir entered.
He looked tired and he rubbed at his left shoulder.  When he raised
his eyes and saw who was waiting for him, he froze.  After taking a
moment to compose himself, he sat down behind his desk and began
working on his report for Elrond.

"Haldir."

Celeborn's heart beat rapidly when the crystal eyes he knew turned
indigo with passion looked at him with barely concealed disdain.  "My
Lord."

"I wanted to speak with you."  He was nervous.  How could he be so
nervous?  He felt like an Elfling confessing his first crush.

Haldir smirked at the Elf-lord, sarcasm dripping from his tongue.
"Have you come to discuss the future with me once more?  Perhaps I
should kneel before *you* this time?"

Celeborn had the grace to blush with shame.  "I was wrong to have done
that, Haldir."

The Captain was stunned for a moment.  That had not been the response
he had been expecting.  He had thought the Lord had come in to try and
bed him once again, not apologize for his behavior.  "What is it you
want, Celeborn?"  He finally gave in and used the Elf's name, an
intimacy Celeborn did not miss.

"I want us to be friends, Haldir.  Nothing more do I ask of you.  I
miss your presence in my life."  Celeborn stood up and walked to the
lone window in the room.  "You run from me, from your own home.  Do
not think I have not noticed that you spend months out with your
patrols, coming back only to report and sleep, then you are off
again."  He turned back to Haldir.  "Is that why your relationship
with Lord Glorfindel did not last?"

Haldir looked away.  "Glorfindel and I... are too much alike.  We
cared for one another, but it was not enough.  We are still close, but
no longer lovers.  You had no bearing on my time with him."

Celeborn nodded, not believing the Elf for a moment.  He knew the
Seneschal and the Captain were still close and very good friends,
something he had never managed with Haldir.  "Are you friends with him
because you never loved him?"

Haldir met Celeborn's gaze.  "I am still friends with him *because* I
love him."

"Why could we not have been that way?  Why did you leave Menegroth?"

The younger Elf leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his
chest.  "We are not friends, Celeborn, because I am *in* love with
you."

There was silence for a moment as Celeborn absorbed the meaning of the
contradictory statements.  "I would never have forced myself on you,
Haldir."

"I know.  I could have stopped you that afternoon in the tent.  I
could have fended off your advances had I stayed in Menegroth.  But, I
didn't.  You wish to be friends?  Then you must forget we were ever
lovers.  I have spent millennia doing so, I know I can ignore the
past.  Can you?"  Haldir knew he was going to be putting himself in a
precarious position, close enough to love but never to touch.  How he
still loved his Silver Prince, but he could not hurt the Lady
Galadriel, he would not hurt the Lady Celebrian.  His sense of honor
for Elrond's family dictated his actions, and he would bring no harm
to them he could prevent.

"I will forget, Haldir.  I swear."

Two words sealed the fate of the two Elves.  Oaths were not taken
lightly among the Firstborn, and both knew the implications of such a
promise.  Haldir nodded, and let a smile come to his lips.

Celeborn was brought to near tears when Haldir's body language
softened, when those hard eyes became warm once again.  And that
smile... the smile was directed at him.  He could never let go of his
warrior, even if it meant that they would never share more than
friendship.  It was far better than nothing.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Imladris -- 1981 of the Third Age

The party for Lothlorien was setting out.  Celeborn, Galadriel, Rumil,
Orophin and a several other members of Imladris would journey to the
Golden Wood that day.  Celeborn was now the Lord of Lothlorien, a
title he was pained to take since it meant the loss of Amroth.  But,
he would not dessert the people Galadriel had become fond of.  They
needed protection, and the Lord and Lady could offer such security.

Haldir stood next to Elrond, tall and proud.  Celeborn had not asked
the Captain if he would be willing to relocate with his brothers.
Rumil and Orophin had become close to Celeborn, looking upon him as a
father figure.  This was a relationship that Haldir had encouraged,
feeling Rumil could benefit the most from such an influence in his
life.  They may have long reached majority, but a father was always
welcome.

Celeborn came to a decision then, returning to Elrond's side.
"Elrond, I would like to request that I be permitted to recruit your
Captain for the Guard of Lothlorien.  We have much work ahead of us
and such a seasoned warrior would be invaluable in fortifying the
borders of our new lands."

"So long as my Captain wishes it, he is free to journey with you."
The Peredhel turned to his long-time friend.  "Well, meldir?  Would
you like to take on a new challenge?"  Haldir looked hesitant.

He wanted to follow Celeborn.  Over the centuries, their friendship
had blossomed and he was loath to see his companion leave.  But,
Imladris was his home.  Had been for many years.  He chewed his lip
indecisively.

"You can always return, Haldir, should you find that you place is here
and not in Celeborn's service."  Elrond place his hands on Haldir's
shoulders, his eyes showing that he felt the opportunity was worth the
risk.

Haldir nodded once.  "Let me pack my bag.  I will be but a moment."

Glorfindel followed his old lover, wanting to say goodbye privately.
He watched Haldir throw his most valuable possessions into his
saddlebags.  "Meldir, I will be sure to have the rest of your life
sent to you in Lothlorien.  Do not look so lost at choosing what to
take with you.  Take only what you cannot live without.  I am sure
Elladan and Elrohir will be escorting Arwen to see her grandmother
very soon."

Haldir turned large, lost eyes on his friend.  "I think I shall miss
you the most, melethen."

Glorfindel smiled, walking over to the silver-haired Elf.  "I will
miss you terribly."  He cupped Haldir's cheek in his hand and leaned
down, kissing the petal-soft lips one last time.  "Now, go, before I
do something we both know is not wise."  Haldir nodded and ran from
the room.  Glorfindel sighed sadly.  He had always had a soft spot for
the lonely Captain.  He knew he would be making several trips to the
Golden Wood soon, just to make sure Haldir settled in well in his new
home and role.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Lothlorien -- Winter, 2513 of the Third Age

The three brothers trudged back into the main settlement in Lorien.
They usually resided in a talan on the Northern Fences, but Celeborn
always insisted his Captain and his two Lieutenants came to the royal
talan when the first snow fell.  It had become a winter tradition, one
the youngest brother looked forward to every year.

"I miss Ada," Rumil said wearily.  Long ago Celeborn had given Rumil
and Orophin permission to call him their father.  Haldir, who had
known their parents, had not begrudged his siblings their comforts.

"I know," Haldir replied.  "We're almost home."

"It feels like coming home, doesn't it, gwanur?"  Orophin stood on one
side of Rumil, his arm looped through his youngest brother's.  Haldir
walked on Rumil's other side in the same position.  Orophin smiled
over at his older brother.

"Aye.  It always has."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

They had been home for two weeks.  Rumil, Orophin, and Celeborn were
in a corner playing a game with one another, Haldir's heart warming to
hear Rumil's giddy laughter.  His youngest brother, he thought, never
seemed to grow up, to lose his childhood innocence.  Haldir returned
to his book, sipping the mulled wine Celeborn always had warming by
the hearth.

Galadriel glided into the room, smiling at the two Elves she had grown
to count as her own children.  They had attached themselves to her,
seeking her approval and love.  Which she gave in abundance.  They
were brave warriors, spending most of their year defending their home.
How could she not care for them?  But, her eyes tonight were for the
introspective Lord Haldir.

"Haldir?"  His clear aqua eyes looked up from his book, his smile
bright and welcoming.  He had never treated her with disrespect, she
thought.  He had never made her pay for marrying his lover.  She had
found him to be a very special Elf, once worthy of Celeborn.  If only
Haldir would see that.

"Can I do something for you, my Lady?"  He placed his book and mug
aside, standing with respect.

"Haldir, during these winters I have asked you to remove all titles
when addressing me.  We are family, after all."  She looked fondly to
the two brothers, her heart swelling with the look of pure adoration
she saw in Rumil's eyes.

The March Warden bowed his head.  "As you wish, Galadriel."

"Walk with me?  I would like to visit the gardens."

He gave her a quizzical look.  "The gardens?  It is after dark, there
is snow on the ground, and you wish to go for a stroll?"

"We are Elves, Haldir."  She smirked.  He had always been
uncomfortable around her alone.  "The cold should not bother us
tonight."

He nodded, giving in to her desires.  He always did.  Haldir had never
been able to deny his Lady anything.  Which was why he had agreed to
come in to the main settlement each winter.  It was more for her than
Celeborn.  They may have grown into a deep friendship, but the pain
was still there, the longing ever present.  He retrieved their cloaks,
bid his brothers and Celeborn a goodnight, and exited the warm room
with the Lady of the Wood.

They walked silently for a few minutes, Haldir with his hands clasped
in front of him with Galadriel's arm looped through his.  Galadriel
stopped in front of a low bench and gracefully sat herself down,
pulling Haldir with her.  Haldir inhaled the sharp, crisp scent of
winter and smiled.  He was content.  He could not say he was happy,
but he was content.

"Haldir," she began.  "I look upon your brothers as the sons I never
had."

He nodded.  "For that, I am thankful.  Rumil, being raised by me, has
suffered much.  It is not that I do not love my brothers, for I do and
am very close to them... but there is something to be said for a
mother's affections.  And that, I could not give them.  Since we
arrived in Imladris, you have made their lives so much more full, and
I will be forever in your debt."

"Will you listen to how I wish you to repay such a debt, March
Warden?"  She was not looking at him, her eyes cast up to the clear,
dark sky.

"I would do anything my Lady wishes, so long as it is in my power to
fulfill."

"Then I would like for you to repay a debt of love with love."

His brow furrowed.  "I do not understand."

She smiled in her mystical way, lowering her gaze to his.  Such wisdom
and tranquility shone in her eyes, endless patience is what he saw.
"Of course you do, mellon-nin.  Long ago, he made a promise to you,
swore to forget your past relationship and deny his love for you.  Why
did you have him make such an oath?"

Haldir looked away, his pale features coloring slightly.  "I would
rather not discuss this with my Lord's lady."

"Your Lord spoke to me of it the day he went to see you.  It was upon
my urging that he attempted to set straight wrongs against you.  You
accepted him into your life once more, but you forced him to choose
between your disfavor or your closeness.  He chose closeness, not
wanting to see that look of disgust in your eyes when you would regard
him.  He may have hurt you in years past, but it is you who has
caused the scarring between the two of you."  Her voice had always
remained level, impartial.  She wanted him to see she was not judging
him, merely showing him what was.

He could no longer look into those deep, bottomless blue eyes and
began to scrutinize his boot.  "He left his own scars, my Lady," he
mumbled.

She placed her hand on his thigh, lightly stroking it and willed him
to look at her.  When she had his eyes once again she said, "You
created your own scars, Haldir of Doriath.  You refused him.  You left
him.  You ran, and you hid.  When he found you once more, he was
excited -- thrilled with the opportunities with which he was
presented. He went about it wrong, but you once again sent him away
from you.  He has tried.  He kept coming back to you."  For a brief
moment, hatred flashed across his fair features, but it was gone
before she had even registered the emotion.  "How long will you make
him pay for doing as his family, as his position, demanded?"

"You are telling me to begin an intimate relationship with your
husband, are you not?"  He could not believe what he was hearing.

"I am asking you to repay what you consider a debt."

"By laying with Celeborn."

"Whether you enter his bed or not, Haldir, is your choice.  I ask only
that you release him from his promise.  He has not taken another since
that day in Imladris.  Not even me.  He is yours, as sure as you are
his.  But, he will not act upon it, not when he is sworn to bury that
love and devotion he feels for you.  Ages, Haldir," she said
emphatically.  "For Ages he has loved you as he could love no other."
Galadriel's gaze became intense, her need to get her point across
making itself known to Haldir.  "I do not begrudge him love.  Not when
he has shown me such happiness and reverence as he has in all our time
together.  You would make him as happy as he has made me, as I have
made your brothers.  Perhaps it is time for you and he to be as happy
as we have been."

"I see the wisdom in your words.  I know you speak the truth in many
ways.  But, I am not certain I can release him from such a promise.  I
am not certain I am capable of loving him freely as I once did."  His
voice trembled slightly, and he looked away from her once more.

Galadriel rose from her position and looked down at the March Warden.
"You have faced love lost, the fall of your beautiful city, the loss
of friends, numerous wars and battles...  You can face Celeborn."

He watched her slowly walk back to the large staircase that would led
her up to her rooms.  He had know the Lord and Lady did not share
sleeping space, but the statement that Celeborn had not shared his bed
with anyone -- even his wife -- in all those years made her departure
more pointed.

She had offered him his heart's deepest desire.  Could he take it?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Celeborn lay on his bed, resting on his side and reading the latest
scroll from Thranduil in the dim candlelight by his bedside. Sometimes
he wondered about his kin.  It seemed his son-in-law reconciled with
the Mirkwood King a few years ago, and the Peredhel was going to be
spending this winter in Mirkwood with his twin boys.  He chuckled.  It
was about time the two Elves came back together.  He sighed and placed
the piece of parchment on his night table, rubbing his eyes and
yawning with fatigue.  He heard a slight shuffle come from his doorway
and opened his eyes.

Haldir stood in his sleeping robe, his hair slightly mussed and his
face swollen from sleep.  Celeborn smiled, remembering years gone by
when that same rumpled mess would awake in his bed, the eyes the color
of a mountain stream coming to awareness at his side.

"Good evening, Haldir.  Is something wrong?"  Haldir had never entered
his private chambers, not in all the time they had lived in
Lothlorien.  This was indeed a surprise, but to Celeborn, it bode ill
that the March Warden had sought him out.

"Many things are wrong, my Lord," was the quiet reply.  Celeborn's
eyes narrowed and he sat up quickly.  He motioned for Haldir to come
further into the room.

"What has happened?"

Haldir stopped in front of his seated Lord and looked down into the
silver eyes that still looked at him with compassion.  He could also
see, deep in their depths, the love buried and kept tightly in
control.  He reached out his hand and caressed Celeborn's cheek, the
first intimate touch he had bestowed on the Prince in millennia.

Celeborn started, shock coursing through him, along with repressed
desire.  The look in his March Warden's eyes made his heart leap in
his chest.  There was love... love and desire reflected in the cool
gaze.  "Haldir," he whispered, his voice raw with emotion.  Could this
truly be happening?

The Captain leaned down, his lips touching Celeborn's with some
hesitance.  When the Elf-lord opened his mouth to him, Haldir knew it
was right.  He slid his tongue into Celeborn's mouth, tasting his love
once more.  The kiss deepened when Celeborn came out of his shocked
state and returned the kiss, his tongue dueling with Haldir's.  After
several long moments, Haldir broke the kiss and knelt before Celeborn.

"Melon lle."

Celeborn's eyes widened at the admission and he felt tears spring to
his eyes.  With a broken voice, the Lord of Lorien replied, "Amin mela
lle, Haldir."  He knew he was released from his oath and took Haldir
into his arms, relishing the warm weight of his lover once more.  He
laid them back on the bed, facing one another on their sides.  He
wanted to take this slowly, to love Haldir as he had in Menegroth.

But desire and need would not permit him to.  Haldir seemed to feel
the same, his hands making short work of Celeborn's shirt and sleep
pants.  Once Celeborn had been disrobed, Haldir tossed his simple robe
away as well, pulling himself close to the naked body of his Lord.  He
had missed the feel of Celeborn, his smell and sounds.  He silently
thanked Galadriel for opening his eyes.

"I need you, Haldir," Celeborn whispered harshly.  "Now."

Haldir chuckled.  "Then have me, my Lord."

Celeborn adjusted their position so that he knelt between Haldir's
legs, smirking as they fell open immediately, inviting the Lord to
take what he wanted.  There would be no foreplay tonight, he simply
wanted to be inside his long-lost love.  He reached into the bedside
table, fumbling impatiently, and finally pulled out a small ceramic
phial.  He removed the stopper and poured the thick liquid onto his
fingers.  Haldir inhaled deeply, the scent of lavendar and walnuts
filling the air.

Celeborn slid a cool, slick finger inside Haldir; the March Warden
squirmed slightly with discomfort.  "I see I am not the only celibate
one in this room, am I not?"  Celeborn smiled lovingly at his partner
as a blush crept over the proud features of Sinda.

"I..." Haldir panted.  "I just... never wanted... anyone else."  He
closed his eyes as Celeborn began to slowly and gently prepare him.
They may desire a quick coupling, a need to be one once again, but
Celeborn would not harm him.  He felt a second digit join the first
and he relaxed into the touch, sighing and thrusting back to meet
Celeborn's hand.

Celeborn's arousal throbbed with each heartbeat; he wanted to cover
Haldir and claim him as his once again.  He gave up on preparation and
oiled his cock generously instead, lifting Haldir's legs toward the
March Warden's chest and positioning himself at the entrance to
Haldir's body.  He looked into the lust-darkened eyes of his lover,
waiting for him to tell him he was ready.  It took all the self-
control he had gained through his thousands of years to not thrust
forward in one motion.  He slowly breached the tight muscle, feeling
Haldir tense beneath him.  He stopped, panting with restrained need.

Haldir took deep breaths, slowly exhaling and willing his body to
relax and accept Celeborn.  After a few moments, he nodded to his Lord
and Celeborn began to slide inside him again.  When Celeborn felt
himself sheathed to the hilt, he closed his eyes and shuddered.  He
paused, allowing Haldir to become accustomed to him again.  When he
thought he would burst from need, Haldir moved slightly against him
and he knew to proceed.

After the first few thrusts, Haldir was able to relax completely,
wrapping his long legs around Celeborn's waist and pulling his love
closer, deeper inside him.  How he had missed this.  Missed the sense
of belonging he always felt when he and Celeborn made love.  The
Prince's thrusting became faster, more frantic, and Haldir let out a
loud groan when Celeborn took the Captain's rigid length in his oily
hand.  He threw his head back with abandon, writhing and moaning words
of devotion and love to his Lord.

Celeborn felt himself slipping over that edge, his body tightening and
humming with release, and he pumped at Haldir's cock more fervently.
Haldir cried out Celeborn's name as his seed spilled over the Lord's
hand.  Feeling Haldir's orgasm and the clenching of the impossibly
tight passage of Haldir's body, Celeborn felt his own release ripped
from him as he pumped his essence into Haldir.  It had been so long,
and he collapsed against the shivering, panting body beneath him.

Haldir let his legs fall from his lover's waist while he wrapped his
arms around the slick back, sighing with deep contentment.  Long
moments later, Celeborn lifted his head from Haldir's chest, eyes
heavy with sated passion. Haldir smiled at him, a smile full of love
and peace.  The Captain moved a damp strand of mithril colored hair
and tucked it behind a beautifully pointed ear.

"Melon lle, my Lord."

Celeborn kissed Haldir softly, tasting the Elf beneath him thoroughly
before pulling back.  "Melon lle, Haldir."  He moved from above
Haldir and pulled the March Warden close to him.  "We're sticky and
wet, melethen.  As much as I would love to simply fall asleep here 
with you in my arms, we should bath and then retire."

Haldir chuckled, his heavy limbs protesting as he sat up.  "Agreed."

The younger Elf came around the bed and held out his hand.  Celeborn
took it and Haldir led him to the small bathing chamber.  Smiling as
his lover filled the large pool with the rain water, Celeborn knew
that Haldir would never leave his side again.

Long lost words filtered through Celeborn's memory, ones of pain.
Clear blue eyes full of tears and hurt.  'Remain with you?  As a
consort?  I always thought I meant more to you than that.'  He caught
Haldir's attention with a soft gaze.  "You always meant more than that
to me, Haldir.  Always."

Haldir knew what Celeborn was referring to, he could sense the path
his Lord's thoughts had taken.  He smiled gently.  "I know."

End "Long Lost Words"

---

Additional A/N:  In the Fall of Gondolin scene, the dialogue between
Turgon and Tuor is straight from Tolkien.  ^^

Elvish/English translations:
Seron vell : Dear lover (beloved)
Melethen : My love
Melon lle : I love you

---

Series: Before the Dawn Trilogy
Title: Lost in Shadow
Author: Orchyd Constyne
Contact: orchydconstyne@hamena.org
Website: http://www.hamena.org/naiteiru/
Fandom: LOTR
Archive: Any, so long as I know where it is  ^^
Rating: NC-17
Beta: Silvara, the most patient beta in existence...  Ilye tested,
Morgana approved.  *giggles*
Cast: Celeborn/Haldir, Haldir/Legolas
Timeline:  Fellowship in Lothlorien
Spoilers:  None
Summary:  A distraught Legolas enters the Golden Wood, carrying 
the weight of Mithrandir's death and his failed relationship with 
Elladan and Elrohir.  He seeks solace in the arms of his friend.
A/N: Yes, I know.  I said only three trilogies, didn't I?  ^^  "Time
Until the End of Time" is complete, yes.  This story, though, touches
on the few facts we are given in that series regarding Celeborn and
Haldir.  In the second trilogy, I let everyone know the two Lorien
Elves were lovers when Celeborn sent Haldir to retrieve Glorfindel.
Here is their story.  ^^  Just like the others, it is based on the
songs that inspired them -- these are Evanescence.

---

"Here to see Rumil, Prince?"

Legolas spun around, coming face to face with the self-assured smirk 
of the Captain of the March Wardens in Lothlorien.  He shouldn't have 
been surprised to see the older Elf, he was standing below his talan, 
after all.

"No, I'm not."  He narrowed his eyes as Haldir crossed his arms.

"I am sure my brother will be terribly disappointed.  I know I would 
*hate* to think you were simply playing with his heart this past 
summer, my Lord."  Haldir slowly advanced on the Prince, his hands 
dropping to his sides.  "For, if you were simply attempting to get a 
rise out of your lover by taking my brother into your bed, there will 
be dire consequences for you to face."

Legolas laughed sharply.  "Consequences?  Rumil was a very willing 
partner and I do not believe he was complaining when I was done with 
him."

Haldir slammed the younger Sinda into the mallorn, pressing his large 
body against the lithe archer's.  "He may not have complained, but your 
lover did," he hissed in the delicately pointed ear, taking great 
satisfaction as a shiver coursed through the body he held captive.

"My lover was too busy with his own.  A tangled web we weave, 
meldir..."

He was cut off when Haldir's mouth descended upon his, thrusting his 
tongue into the welcoming mouth of the Mirkwood Elf.  Legolas brought 
his arms up to embrace the Captain and moaned as Haldir ground his 
hips against the Prince's.

"I have missed you," Haldir panted against Legolas' swollen lips.

Legolas smiled, his eyes half-closed with lust.  "Next time I visit, 
do not spurn me for Celeborn."

"Celeborn was my lover long before you, fair Prince," Haldir said 
seriously.

Legolas nipped at Haldir's lower lip, teasing him with the tip of 
his tongue.  "Perhaps.  But it is my bed you seek when any Mirkwood 
delegation comes to Lothlorien, or when the Lady sends you to my 
father."  He snaked his hand down the March Warden's body, running his 
fingers lightly over the hard bulge in the leggings.  "And you are 
here with me when Celeborn rests in your cold bed."

"Hush!" Haldir snapped, crushing Legolas' mouth with his, ravaging the 
tender lips.  "I have better use for that mouth of yours, melethron."  
Haldir pushed firmly on Legolas' shoulders, forcing the Prince to his 
knees.  Legolas looked up from his position in front of Haldir and 
smiled with a wicked glint in his eyes.

"I have a feeling I know what you have in mind, melethen."  Legolas 
leaned forward and deftly untied Haldir's leggings, allowing them to 
pool at their feet.  The elder Elf hissed when the cool night air 
caressed his heated arousal, then moaned deeply when Legolas' mouth 
engulfed him in one smooth motion.

He twined his fingers through hair like spun gold and threw his head 
back, lost in his passion and the heat of Legolas' perfect mouth.

What the two lovers did not see was the Elf standing in the shadows 
several feet away, watching the couple with intent, glittering eyes.  
Those eyes widened with anger when the March Warden called out his 
lover's name and spilled himself down the Wood Elf's eager throat.  
They exchanged words of devotion and the blond retied the silver-
haired Elf's leggings and led him up the rope ladder of the talan.

Celeborn watched the two disappear into Haldir's unused home and 
sighed, the anger draining from him.  His lover would not be joining 
him this night, nor most of the nights the Fellowship resided in the 
Golden Wood.  It was with a heavy heart, his suspicions finally 
confirmed, that Celeborn, the Lord of Lothlorien, returned to his 
lonely and cold talan to spend the endless night contemplating his 
next move regarding his wayward lover.

*****

Celeborn continued to go through his correspondence, putting off the 
daily visit to Glorfindel's quarters.  Keeping the Elda calm was 
becoming a strain, but it was made worse when Frodo brought the Ring 
into Lorien.  If Celeborn were honest with himself, though, he would 
know he was simply putting off leaving his study.  The Fellowship had 
left the day before, Haldir seeing his lover off while Celeborn stood 
silently by, pretending he had seen nothing.

He had been right.  Haldir had not spent any night of the last four 
weeks in their talan.  He had begged off, telling Celeborn that 
Legolas was wrought with grief and needed a friend.  Since Legolas and 
Haldir had known each other since the Crown Prince's birth, it was a 
viable reason for his absence.

But, Celeborn knew better.

It was simply an excuse... a lie.  One in a string of many, it seemed.  
And try as he might, the Sinda could not fathom why the March Warden 
would stray from their bed.  He knew Haldir loved him.  He had been 
faithful to the Captain, and they had both been celibate for centuries 
before the were reunited as lovers.  For five centuries, the younger 
Elf had not a complaint to utter for lack of attention, devotion, and 
love.  So, Celeborn sat at his desk, gazing out over the vast woods 
and pondered where he had gone wrong.

And wondered how long the Prince of Mirkwood had been bedding his 
lover, right under his nose.

It was in this reverie that Haldir found him.  The Elf walked softly 
into the room, smiling sweetly at the daydreaming Elf-lord.  His heart 
always sped when looking at his love.  The strong profile, waist-
length mithril hair that felt like silk in his hands, eyes that 
flashed silver-blue with passion and a heart that was utterly his.

Haldir shoved aside a pang of guilt.  His heart was Celeborn's, as 
much as Celeborn's was his.  Legolas did not have the love that he 
held for his Lord.  He shared his body with the confused Prince, that 
was all.  He knew Elladan and Elrohir were involved with the younger 
Elf.  He also knew, from Elrohir, that there was more that the 
Mirkwood Elf was aware of.  It made it easy not to become emotionally 
entangled with the blond.  They knew why Haldir went to Legolas.  
Legolas gave him something Celeborn never did.

Control.

With Legolas, Haldir was in control.  He dictated their love making, 
their actions.  He was allowed to be demanding and rough with the 
Elven Prince.  Legolas was submissive to all of Haldir's wants and 
needs and never balked.  Nothing was denied the Captain.  Haldir 
rarely had to repeat his desire twice.  Legolas was eager to please his 
lover.

Haldir shook himself from his thoughts and cleared his throat, smiling 
inwardly when Celeborn jumped at the sound.  It was rare indeed when 
the mighty Elf-lord was caught unawares.  "Deep in thought, my Lord?" 
he asked.  When Celeborn's haunted eyes met his own, though, Haldir 
knew something was troubling his lover.  "My Lord?  Are you not well?  
Has something happened?"

"Much has happened, Haldir.  It has been, what?  Three weeks since you 
graced me with your presence for more than an hour.  And that hour was 
usually to present an excuse for not coming home that night and to 
make your border report."  Celeborn could not hide the hint of 
bitterness in his voice and he watched has Haldir flinched slightly.

"I am sorry, meleth.  Legolas was in need of companionship.  The 
passing of Mithrandir upset him greatly and I felt it my duty to 
comfort him in his time of need."

Celeborn felt the lie hit him like a blow to the gut.  "I see.  And 
you felt that the comfort he needed so badly was for him to be on his 
knees in front of you and you shoving yourself down his throat?"  
Celeborn had asked the question evenly, without malice or sadness.

Haldir's face drained of all color and he could only hear a rushing in 
his ears.  "I... He, we... I mean... Legolas that is... he and I..." 
he floundered, not knowing how to respond that wouldn't dig him in 
deeper.

The Lorien Lord stood from behind his desk and walked to stand before 
his lover.  With a cold smile that did not touch his eyes, Celeborn 
cupped the Guardian's cheek.  "No more lies, Haldir.  I saw you.  You 
have been with the Prince, and I am sure this past month was not the 
first encounter for either of you."

"Celeborn," he began, desperate to make things right.  "I am-"

He pulled his hand from the face he had loved for years uncounted and 
turned his back.  "Leave, Haldir.  I do not want you here right now.  
And do not bother coming back tonight, you will not share my bed."

Haldir opened his mouth once more, to try and placate Celeborn, make 
more excuses, but wisely chose not to.  He snapped his mouth closed 
and turned quickly from the room, leaving Celeborn alone in the study 
once again.

*****

Galadriel sat on the divan, the thin fabric of her gown settling about 
her like a cloud.  She knew things were not well in her home.  
Celeborn had locked himself in his rooms, refusing to discuss anything 
but the Wood and the War.  Haldir had taken it upon himself to return 
to the Northern Border for a month long tour.  When Rumil had come to 
her, very distraught over his brother's behavior, Galadriel had 
assured the younger Elf that she would speak with their Lord.  Rumil 
had shuffled his feet, looking down, and saying how he hoped that his 
Ada and Haldir had not had a falling out.

Galadriel feared that was exactly what had happened.  She felt a 
twinge of guilt herself.  She had known for years about the relations 
Haldir shared with the youngest Prince of Mirkwood.  She admitted, 
though, she knew not why her beloved March Warden chose to dally with 
the young Elf and felt it was not her place to ask the questions.  Now 
she regretted not going to Celeborn sooner with her knowledge.

She sipped delicately at her glass of wine, waiting for her husband to 
appear as he always did before retiring.  He came into the main room 
for a last glass of wine and to look out over his Golden Wood once 
more before sleeping.  She had let him mope for two weeks already and 
had felt that enough was enough.  She did not want her family so 
divided.  The Lady had gone through many troubles to bring Celeborn 
the one he loved so deeply and now Haldir had betrayed him.  What was 
she supposed to do?  Until she knew Haldir's motives, she could not 
fix the situation.

In the dim light of the room, she watched as Celeborn entered the 
room, not noticing her in her position in the corner.  Her Lord poured 
himself his nightly drink and walked to the large window, looking out 
over his lands.  He slowly sipped the liquid and Galadriel's eyes 
never left the magnificent sight that Celeborn made.  She had loved 
him, long ago, but she had to resign herself to the fact that his 
heart was not hers.  She knew she loved him still, though it had 
cooled over the passing years.  But, her desire for him to be happy 
was still strong and bright in her.  He had given her a beautiful 
daughter and centuries of unrivaled attention and devotion, even if 
love was not something he could offer.

She smiled, amused, when Celeborn put his glass away and turned to 
leave the room.  Galadriel could tell her husband was distracted since 
he had not sensed her presence in the room with him.  Quietly she 
asked, "Could I have a word with you, my Lord?"

To his credit, the Lord of Lothlorien did not show any outward sign of 
surprise or startlement, although Galadriel did notice the way his 
eyes jumped, searching for the voice.  When his gaze settled on his 
wife, he smiled warmly.  "Always, Lady."

She motioned for him to join her on the sofa, scooting her legs under 
her body and resettling in her place.  Celeborn crossed his legs and 
watched her with intent eyes.  Galadriel set her glass on the side 
table and met that unwavering gaze.  "What has happened, Celeborn?  
You are a ghost in your own home, and Haldir refuses to come in from 
the borders, even for his Lady."

Celeborn turned his eyes from the piercing blue of the Lady's.  He 
looked out through the windows again, as if searching for a way to 
explain the situation.  When he turned back to her, he saw in her eyes 
she already knew.  "How long have you known about them, Galadriel?"

"Long enough."

"That is not an acceptable answer."

"I have known for a decade.  Although, I suspect the relationship 
extends well beyond my knowledge."  She held her head high, as if 
daring him to accuse her of aiding them in their deception.

Celeborn knew Galadriel better than that.  "Why did you not tell me?" 
he asked softly.

"It was not my place, my Lord.  I may love you both, but I refuse to 
interfere in your love.  You have now found out.  Have you and Haldir 
spoken about it at all?"

The Sinda looked away.  "I sent him away from the talan the day after 
Legolas left.  I could not face him."

"And he indeed did leave.  Two weeks, so far, on that border.  
Celeborn, he will injure himself if his mind is here with you and not 
on his duty there.  Do you know why he took to bed with the Prince?"

Celeborn shook his head.  "No.  I didn't ask."

"Infidelity, especially among our race, is a sign of something amiss 
in the relationship, my Lord.  You should speak with him, and soon.  
Perhaps there is still something to salvage?"

The Elf-lord thought for a moment on his wife's words, and slowly 
nodded.  "Very well.  I see the wisdom in your words.  And I must 
confess, I want to know what I have done to drive him from me."

"Perhaps the better question is what have you done to hold him to 
you?"

*****

"And when I got back, he was sitting in my chair!"

Rumil's eyes widened as he listened to his older brother's tale.  
"Next to Gildor?" he asked, shocked.

Orophin nodded.  "Slid right up next to him and was leaning over 
talking to him.  Gildor told me later that he even had his hand on 
Gildor's knee!"

"You're not serious!  What did you say?!"

"He said, 'If you're lost, I'm sure we can find someone to help you 
back to your table.'"

Rumil and Orophin jumped a full foot off the ground as they turned 
around.  Celeborn was standing behind them suddenly, laughing.  "You 
two are lucky that I'm not an Orc."

Rumil shrugged.  "If you were an Orc, we'd have smelled you first."

"Where is he?  I need to speak with him."

"Where do you think?" Orophin replied, pointing through the woods 
toward the top of a distant tree.  "He's barely come down at all the 
past week.  Should we be expecting something?"

Celeborn shook his head.  "No, he's just brooding."  The Sinda 
unshouldered his pack and placed it on the ground.  "Your Nana sent 
this.  There is a new cloak for each of you along with some dried 
fruit and several honeycakes.  She thinks you two have probably had 
enough lembas for a while."

The two brothers beamed at Celeborn.  Galadriel was always spoiling 
them like this, and they ate it up.  Celeborn clapped each of them on 
the shoulder and smiled.  "Keep an eye out while you snack.  I'm going 
to go find your brother."

They nodded happily and turned their attention to the pack.  Nana 
always put things in there that she didn't tell Ada about and the two 
brothers were anxious to know what she had sent them this time.  
Galadriel had the millennia-old Elves feeling twenty again.

Celeborn made his way to Haldir, foregoing stealth since he knew the 
Captain had probably seen him long before the Lord had reached his 
brothers.  He took in a deep breath and looked up at the tree Rumil 
had pointed out and took to it like a cat.  He was limber and swift, 
never having lost his warrior's touch.  He could scale a tree within a 
heartbeat and from the surprised look on Haldir's face when he 
reached the flet, he had succeeded in impressing the younger Elf.  
Celeborn chuckled inwardly.  Since when had he found it necessary to 
impress his lover?

But, Galadriel had made a point.  What had he done in the passing time 
to keep Haldir with him?

"My Lord," Haldir stated, bowing slightly.  "I would have come to 
you."

"I know, Haldir, but I wanted to speak with you privately."  Celeborn 
straightened his tunic and brushed his long hair back over his 
shoulders.  "I need you to pull most of your men from the Northern 
borders and restation them on the Eastern ones.  We will need to 
defend Lorien from Dol Guldur soon and these borders will be safe 
while we concentrate on the East.  Leave only a minimal guard, as few 
as needed."

Haldir nodded.  "We will march to the border in two nights.  Is that 
acceptable?"

"Aye, it will be."

Haldir turned from Celeborn, looking out over the Wood he had called 
home for centuries.  "You should go back to the city, my Lord.  I must 
call my men to me and decide who stays and who goes.  You will be 
safer in the city."

Celeborn laughed, shaking his head when Haldir turned to look at him 
in puzzlement.  "Haldir, I have defended Doriath, fought with Elrond 
and you in the name of Eregion, and I commanded an army when we fought 
in the Last Alliance.  I will defend my Wood now.  I am not a fat and 
lazy Lord who can no longer wield a sword or bow.  I taught you how 
to use your long knives, pen-neth," he said, reverting to the childish 
name he used to tease Haldir with.  "I dismiss my Elves, I am not 
dismissed by them."  He cringed with the harshness of his tone, but 
he refused to back down, he was making a point to his lover.

Never underestimate Celeborn, Prince of Doriath.

They regarded each other for silent moments, neither blinking or 
giving ground.  Finally, Haldir narrowed his eyes and snarled, "Is 
there anything else you need, my Lord, or shall you be on your way?"

Celeborn crossed his arms and leaned against the main trunk of the 
tree, his cool gaze looking Haldir up and down.  "Yes, I think there 
is something else I need.  Why did you find my bed so distasteful that 
you had to seek another's?"

Haldir let a cruel smile cross his lips.  "Distasteful?  I wouldn't 
call your bed 'distasteful', my Lord Celeborn."

"Then what would you call it, my Lord Haldir?"  If Haldir wanted to 
play games, then so be it.  Celeborn had been playing them with the 
Elf long enough to know there was nothing to be done about it but see 
it through to the end.

"It was not the bed that offended me so.  I found that the occupant 
was the one to be so objectionable."

"And what have I done to upset you so, Haldir?  Last I checked, you 
were well-loved, cared for, had my utter devotion and anything you 
ever asked for.  What have I done that is so detestable?"  Celeborn 
pushed off from his position against the trunk and covered what little 
space was between himself and the Captain.  "And why not speak to me 
about it instead of whoring around with the Prince of Mirkwood?"  
Haldir's eyes flared with outrage.  Celeborn had chosen the word 
purposefully and it had the desired effect.

"I am no one's whore.  Legolas came to *me*.  He offered himself.  I 
have known him since the day he was born, Celeborn.  I did not seek 
him as a bedmate.  The Prince needed comfort, he wanted experiences, 
and he gave to me freely what you *never* could," he hissed out, 
inching closer to Celeborn so they almost touched noses.

"I have denied you nothing!"  Celeborn's eyes were wide with 
disbelief.  "Every desire you have confided to me has been yours."

"Perhaps I felt that what I have wanted you should have offered 
without my prompting."  Eye to eye, toe to toe, neither Elf-lord was 
willing to back down from their position.

"Despite what others may think, Haldir, I am not privy to the internal 
workings of your mind.  I do not go where I am not invited.  Thus, if 
you do not open that pretty mouth of yours, I do not know what it is 
you desire."

Haldir sneered.  "Every time I did open my 'pretty' mouth, my Lord, I 
had your *sex* shoved in it."

Celeborn opened his mouth and then closed it with an audible snap.  He 
tried once again, but no sound would issue from his suddenly dry 
throat.  The Lord of Lothlorien was uncharacteristicly speechless and 
Haldir's smirk of triumph incensed him further.

"And when," Haldir continued, pressing the advantage, "was I supposed 
to confess to you my secret desires?  When you had me bent over the 
bedpost?  Or perhaps on my back with my legs in the air?  Or even 
sitting on your lap behind your desk?  I do not suppose that you once 
even considered that I might desire a release from something other 
than your mouth or your hand?"

Celeborn's eyes showed first confusion, then a grim realization.  The 
March Warden was right.  In all their time together, he had never 
allowed Haldir to penetrate him, never allowed him to direct or 
control their lovemaking.  "Is that what this is all about?" he asked 
incredulously.

Haldir misinterpreted the Sinda's tone, and it only infuriated him 
further.  "I know that particular desire must seem inconsequential to 
you.  You are, after all, a Prince of Doriath, Ruler of Eregion, and 
Lord of Lothlorien.  What business would one so far beneath you as I 
have yearning to experience our most intimate closeness from the other 
side?  At least the Prince of Mirkwood had no such perceptions of 
superiority!"

Celeborn placed his hands on Haldir's upper arms, opening his mouth to 
speak.  Haldir, though, interpreted the gesture as an attack, so high 
strung was he.  He grabbed Celeborn's shoulders and wrapped his left 
heel behind Celeborn's right, sweeping the leg as he threw his weight 
forward.  The two crashed to the floor of the flet, Celeborn bearing 
the brunt of the impact.

The closeness had the desired effect in that both Elves became aroused 
simply by the presence of the other.  Celeborn looked up into Haldir's 
face and felt that the March Warden had never looked so alluring as 
this moment, face flushed with anger, body trembling with lust.  

"Perhaps I should simply take that which I desire, as you have so 
often, my Lord," Haldir hissed in Celeborn's ear.

Celeborn's expression softened into an inexplicably smug expression.  
"Perhaps you should," he replied, raising an eyebrow.

Haldir growled and descended on Celeborn's lips, his tongue demanding 
and then forcing entrance into the Lord's mouth.  The March Warden 
nipped and tugged, suckled and devoured Celeborn, his tongue not 
allowing Celeborn into the warmth of Haldir's mouth.  Celeborn could 
only describe the kiss as savage and hungry.

The March Warden's hands made quick work of the hunting garb Celeborn 
had donned when he left the city, instead of his formal robes.  Haldir 
did not undress himself, instead he sat back on his heels, astride the 
Lord, and let his eyes devour the nude form below him.  The anger had 
drained from the icy eyes which had now darkened to lapis with 
passion.  Celeborn could feel himself flush under the intense scrutiny 
and wondered if he had ever made Haldir feel so uncomfortable.

Haldir licked his lips, a small smile trying to surface on his face.  
He had fantasized about having Celeborn in such a position as long as 
he could remember; the Captain just thought he would never get the 
opportunity.  For so long he had been content with his position in 
their lovemaking, until Legolas showed him there was so much more he 
wanted to experience with Celeborn.  Now his lover had given his 
consent to take what he had always desired.

He leaned down and trailed kisses from Celeborn's jaw to his 
collarbone, leaving a deep purple passion mark on his way.  "You are 
mine, Celeborn..." he said in a low and venomous voice, his eyes 
holding the Lord's with an intensity that made Celeborn shiver.

"Yours, Haldir..." he whispered.

Haldir smiled and returned to his path, secretly thrilled that 
Celeborn had verbally confirmed his statement.  He had never given 
Haldir that satisfaction.  He wrapped his lips around one nipple, 
using his teeth and licking the wounded flesh after he had Celeborn 
cry out.  He paid attention to each nipple, sucking and tormenting 
both small nubs with his teeth.  When he had Celeborn squirming and 
begging beneath him, he granted the swollen flesh reprieve.  He inched 
down the Elf-lord's stomach, dipping his tongue into his navel and 
chuckling quietly when Celeborn's muscles quivered with each stroke.  
"I remember all the times, my Lord, that you teased and coaxed my 
body... making me beg you with tears running down my cheeks..." he 
whispered against the tender flesh of Celeborn's thigh.  "Did you 
think I would never return the gesture?"  He looked up from his 
position between Celeborn's legs and cocked his head slightly, as if 
expecting an answer.

But, Celeborn could not offer an answer, as his hands gripped at the 
hard wood of the flet's floor, and his breath came in ragged gasps.  
He had not imagined the acute, powerful effect of Haldir dictating his 
pleasure.  He had not been so painfully aroused in a number of years, 
feeling eager and desperate for release and waiting in delicious 
anticipation for whatever Haldir could think to do to and with him.  
He regretted never offering himself to his lover before now, but 
pushed the unwelcome sadness aside to concentrate on Haldir's 
ministrations.

When no answer came but the pleading moans from Celeborn, Haldir went 
back to marking the pale white skin inside his Lord's thigh, leaving 
small passion marks along the flesh.  His arousal throbbed within the 
confines of his leggings, demanding to be satisfied, but Haldir pushed 
his need aside, determined to bring his mighty lover to the verge of 
breaking.  He wanted to hear Celeborn implore him, beg him for 
release, to plead to have him claim him.  He moved to the other thigh. 
laving the soft skin with his tongue while gently stroking the 
sensitive back of Celeborn's knee with gentle fingers.

Haldir sat up and looked at the kiss swollen lips, irregular rise and 
fall of Celeborn's chest, the numerous passion bites coloring his 
perfect skin, and the wanton display of himself for Haldir, his hips 
thrusting forward slightly demanding that his need be paid attention 
to.  "Eager, Celeborn?  Where is all that infinite patience you would 
display with me and my need?"  He smiled evilly at the Lord and placed 
his hands on Celeborn's hips, demanding he present himself to the 
Captain on his hands and knees.

Celeborn groaned, his ignored length bobbing slightly as he shifted 
his position.  While he situated himself somewhat comfortably on the 
hard floor, he heard Haldir strip himself of his clothing.  Suddenly, 
the reality of the moment hit Celeborn.  His heart began to race and 
he felt fear creep into his heart.  In all his long years, he had 
*never* allowed one to take him in this way.  Haldir would be his 
first.  He felt childish and silly, fearing his lover's touch, but 
when Haldir placed his hand softly on his back and Celeborn could feel 
Haldir's erection pressing against the cleft of his buttocks, he 
gasped and shrank from the contact.

Haldir's eyes clouded with disappointment, though Celeborn could not 
see it.  He pulled back from the hot, trembling body before him and 
rested on his heals.  "Celeborn?" he said softly, demanding the Lord 
look at him.  Celeborn turned his head to gaze over his shoulders and 
saw the love and concern, as well as the distress at Celeborn's 
distrust, and felt tears form in his eyes though he refused to allow 
them to fall.  "We can stop, my Lord," he quietly offered, his eyes 
shifting to the floor.  "I would never want you to do something you do 
not wish, melethen.  It would pain me more to know I hurt you than to 
never know your body in this manner."

Celeborn sat up onto his knees and turned to face his lover, taking 
the warm, rosy cheeks in his palms.  "Look at me, Haldir."  The 
commanding tone made Haldir's gaze snap up to look into the face of 
his Lord and lover.  "I do not wish for you to stop, but you must 
understand..." he chewed his lip with uncharacteristic embarrassment.  
"You are my first, Haldir.  I have never allowed any of my lovers to 
have me thus.  You will be the one and only to claim me, meleth."

The March Warden's eyes widened and his mouth opened, but no words 
would come from him.  He just sat there looking dumbly at his lover, 
not knowing what to say or do.  Celeborn took pity on the Guardian and 
smiled, leaned in and kissed him sweetly, reigniting their passion.  
When he pulled back from the kiss, Haldir's eyes were heavy-lidded and 
dark.  "I want to feel you inside me, Haldir," Celeborn offered 
tenderly.

Haldir nodded and motioned for Celeborn to return to his previous 
stance while he went to his pack nearby.  He pulled out the phial of 
oil he used for his weapons and cautiously inched up to Celeborn.  He 
swallowed visibly and took a deep breath.  He calmed his frazzled 
nerves and looked down at the graceful curve of Celeborn's back, the 
perfect round globes of his buttocks, and his Lord's stiff length 
glistening with his need.  He smiled and felt his arousal pulse, his 
desire renewed and a base instinct surged to lay claim to the glorious 
creature offering himself to the Captain.

Haldir opened the small bottle and dripped several drops down the 
crevice before him and then added some to his fingers.  He dragged the 
slick finger slowly down the line the oil had made and smirked when 
Celeborn shuddered.  He knew what was to come, as did Celeborn, but he 
also knew that there was nothing that could adequately prepare his 
Lord for the pain or the pleasure he would soon experience.  Once he 
reached the virginal opening to Celeborn's body, he firmly massaged 
the tight muscles, reveling in the plaintive moans his lover made with 
each stroke.

He leaned over Celeborn, covering his back with his chest, and 
whispered into the Lord's ear.  "Now, you must relax, my Lord, or I 
will hurt you and that is not my intention."

Celeborn nodded, his head light with excitement.  He let out a low 
hiss when he felt Haldir penetrate him for the first time, feeling a 
tight, burning sensation.  He knew his internal muscle clamped down 
immediately and Haldir ceased all motion.  "My Lord..." he warned.  
Celeborn took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, willing his body 
to loosen.

When Haldir felt the death grip lessen, he withdrew the finger and 
added more oil.  He slowly inserted the digit again and it slid in 
easier, Celeborn having calmed down, allowing Haldir to sheath his 
finger completely inside the hot passage.  After a few moments and 
tentative movements, he added a second finger to the first, giving 
Celeborn a moment to become accustomed to the feeling.  He stretched 
and prepared Celeborn lovingly, careful to listen to his lover's body 
language.  Haldir decided to seek with Celeborn that area that his 
lover found frequently with him that made his whole body weak with 
desire.

Celeborn felt a particularly shallow thrust and then Haldir crooked 
his fingers downward, causing Celeborn to throw his head back and cry 
out.  The white-hot pulse of pleasure made the Lothlorien Lord pant 
and push back on Haldir's hand, desperate for more.  As Haldir 
massaged that point within him, Celeborn lost all sense of modesty and 
wantonly rode his lover's hand, panting with need and uncontrolled 
lust.  Before he knew it, he was begging and pleading with the March 
Warden, trying desperately for the orgasm he could feel building 
within him.  He whimpered with disappointment when Haldir removed his 
fingers.

"No need to worry, my Lord," came the ragged words from behind him.  
Haldir poured more oil onto his hand and stroked himself, closing his 
eyes for a moment and relishing the sensation.  He then moved up to 
nestle behind Celeborn and guided himself to the tight opening.  "You 
must continue to relax, my Lord.  I will be gentle... I will go slow, 
but you must not tense."  It was taking all his control to speak 
evenly and firmly, the well-being of his lover first and foremost in 
his mind.  When Celeborn nodded, Haldir pushed forward gradually, 
breaching the tight channel with an audible moan.

Celeborn felt himself tighten on Haldir's member, his eyesight going 
dark for a moment with the incredibly full, stretch feeling engulfing 
him and sending the Lord into a brief moment of intense, sharp pain.  
Haldir had stilled, his breath coming in staccato bursts.  "You 
must... relax... Celeborn," he managed.  He wanted to simply bury 
himself inside his love, wanted to make him his, but he bit his lip 
and closed his eyes tight, willing his body to remain motionless.  
After a long moments, Haldir began to move forward once again, not 
stopping until his thighs touched the back of Celeborn's.

He then leaned over and smiled against his lover's ear, speaking in 
hushed tones.  "You are now mine, Celeborn."

Celeborn trembled with the possessive quality Haldir's voice had 
taken, his body clenching slightly around the thick heat buried deep 
within him.  The Lord sobbed with pleasure when Haldir began moving, 
making slow, shallow thrusts and massaging his back.

Haldir knew he would not last long, Celeborn was so tight and hot and 
the piteous moans he issued pushed Haldir to the brink of completion.  
As he neared his end, he began taking longer, deeper strokes, letting 
his cries and gasps escape his lips and caress Celeborn's ears.  Just 
a few breaths later, Haldir stiffened and thrust once more, emptying 
himself into his Lord's body, collapsing onto Celeborn's tense back 
while basking in the aftershocks of his intense orgasm.

Celeborn struggled to keep them both upright, his arms shaking with 
the added weight.  When he thought he could stay on his hands and 
knees no longer, Haldir lifted himself up and gently pulled away from 
him.  Celeborn's brow furrowed with the immediate sense of loss when 
Haldir left him.  Haldir placed his hand on Celeborn's hip and spoke 
quietly.  "Turn over, my Lord... lay on your back for me..."  Celeborn 
stiffly rotated in his spot and stretched out his sore limbs.

Haldir's eyes focused on the unrelieved arousal that jutted 
prominently from above his Lord's thighs.  "Would you like release, 
Celeborn?" he asked slyly, spreading Celeborn's legs and positioning 
himself above the throbbing erection that leak small droplets of clear 
fluid.  Haldir leaned over and swept his tongue across the head, 
taking his lover's nectar onto his tongue.  "You must ask for it if 
you want what I offer you, Celeborn."  He chuckled when Celeborn's 
hips shifted forward, straining for Haldir's mouth.  "Ask, Celeborn," 
he demanded, holding the Elf-lord's hips down.

A blush spread over the sweaty cheeks of Celeborn.  "Will you... 
pleasure me with your mouth... my Lord?" he asked, his voice hoarse 
with emotion and need.

Haldir smirked and bent his head down, swiftly taking Celeborn into 
his mouth, feeling him press against the back of his throat.  Celeborn 
arched off the floor, his body as taut as a bowstring, and called out 
Haldir's name.  The March Warden slowly moved up and down the hard 
flesh between his lips, sweeping his tongue around the swollen head 
when he pulled back.  Haldir kept a languid pace, refusing to move any 
faster regardless of the pleading spilling from his Lord's lips.  He 
reached down and cupped Celeborn's tight sac and felt him squirm 
beneath him, demanding his release.

Finally, Haldir slid the hand lower and inserted his finger in the 
seed-slickened passage, moving his finger against the spot he had 
located earlier.  A powerful cry was ripped from Celeborn's dry throat 
as he came in a rush, his orgasm sudden and exquisite, bordering on 
painful, as his essence pumped into the March Warden's waiting mouth.  
Haldir reverently cleaned Celeborn with his mouth and then moved up to 
encircle the trembling Elf-lord in his arms.

"My Lord?" he asked, uncertainty coloring his voice.

Celeborn looked up into expectant eyes and smiled, bringing his lips 
up to meet those of his lover's.  "Thank you, meleth, for giving me 
something I did not know I needed."

Haldir kissed his lover deeply and reached for his cloak, covering 
them both.  "Rumil and Orophin will keep an eye on things while we 
take some much needed rest, my Lord."

Celeborn nodded sleepily and inhaled deeply, savoring the scent of 
Haldir and their lovemaking, drifting off happily into reverie, 
knowing everything would be all right between them.  

Haldir watched Celeborn's eyes go vacant and gently nuzzled his Lord's 
ear, silently thank the Valar for putting all the wrongs between them 
right.  The March Warden rested his head on his arm, his other arm 
wrapped tightly around his lover, and drifted off to dreams, close on 
the heels of the Lord of Lorien.

*****

The Orcs attacked just as Celeborn had known they would.  Streaming 
out of Dol Guldur, the frenzied armies had set upon the Golden Wood 
with abandon.  Had the Eastern borders not been fortified, the Orcs 
would have met almost no resistance and burst upon Caras Galadhon 
unopposed.

Even with the additional archers that Haldir had dispatched, the Orcs 
had made significant advances into the forest, hacking and burning 
trees as they came.  Their rough hides were almost as thick as their 
armor, which made it extremely difficult for arrows to penetrate, and 
forced the Galadhrim to set against them with swords.  The Elves had 
no such thick skin, so the Orcish crossbowmen continued to fire into 
the fray, not concerned if they struck a few of their own troops in 
the process.

One of the bolts struck Celeborn in the shoulder, driving so deep that 
the point erupted from his back.  He fell back, but Haldir and Rumil 
were both there before the Orc he was fighting could take advantage of 
the opportunity.  Rumil stabbed the Orc through the neck while Haldir 
pulled his Lord from the fighting.  Once behind the lines of archers, 
Haldir called for the healer.  A short-haired Elf-maid rushed over as 
the March Warden laid Celeborn on the ground, holding his shoulders up 
so the bolt could do no more damage.

The healer cut away the tunic from around the wound and examined it 
with a studious eye.  She pronounced the wound to be "a clean 
puncture, no impact with the bone."  This was good news, she 
explained, because it made removing the bolt that much easier.  With 
her field knife, she cut the shaft of the bolt a few inches from 
Celeborn's chest.  Then, reaching behind him, she grasped the point of 
the bolt between her palms and pulled, wrenching the wood the rest of 
the way through the Sinda's body.

Celeborn let out a cry of pain, and Haldir gripped his hand tightly as 
the healer applied a stinging salve to both sides of the wound and 
pressed a cloth against it to ease the bleeding.  She left to retrieve 
the things she would need to stitch the wound, leaving the two lovers 
alone for the moment.

"Are you all right, meleth?" Haldir asked, panic and concern coloring 
his tone.

Celeborn reached up carefully with his injured arm and patted Haldir's 
cheek.  "It is a very good thing," he said slowly, "that we had that 
first night in your flet, Haldir, for otherwise, I would have had 
nothing to which to compare this pain."

The two Elves shared a loving look, and then burst into laughter.

End "Lost In Shadow"

Completed: 11/28/2003

---

Series: Before the Dawn Trilogy
Title: To Live, To Breathe
Author: Orchyd Constyne
Contact: orchydconstyne@hamena.org
Fandom: LOTR
Website: http://www.hamena.org/naiteiru
Archive: Any, so long as I know where it is  ^^
Rating: NC-17
Beta: Silvara, the most patient beta in existence...
Cast: Celeborn/Haldir
Timeline: October 25 - December 25 3018 TA
Spoilers:  None
Warnings:  Character Death
Summary: During the attacks from Dol Guldur against Lothlorien,
Celeborn's March Warden is struck down by the forces while saving his
brothers and their company.  Celeborn must face eternity without
Haldir.
Yes, I know.  I said only three trilogies, didn't I?  ^^  "Time
Until the End of Time" is complete, yes.  This story, though, touches
on the few facts we are given in that series regarding Celeborn and
Haldir.  In the second trilogy, I let everyone know the two Lorien
Elves were lovers when Celeborn sent Haldir to retrieve Glorfindel.
Here is their story.  ^^  Just like the others, it is based on the
songs that inspired them -- these are Evanescence.

---

Dol Guldur -- March 28th 3019 of the Third Age

"Adanno!"  Haldir motioned for his men to regroup, to return to
Celeborn's side.  They needed to check their wounded and to ready the
assault once more.  "Adanno!" he cried again.  He counted the Elves as
they ran past him.  There were three missing.  He scanned the area
around them and saw that two had fallen and the third was defending
himself against one of the Nazgul.

That third was his youngest brother.  "Keep going!" he yelled to his
men.  He then turned his attention to his brother, who was growing
exhausted with the effort to keep the demon from him.  "Rumil!  I'm
coming!"

Haldir ran as fast as he could, slicing Orcs as he went.  He watched
Rumil trip, stumble to the ground and drop his sword.  "Rumil!"  Just
as the Nazgul was going to strike, Haldir reached his brother and
thrust out his sword, blocking the death blow.  "Adanno, Rumil!  Now!"
He barely registered his brother's wide-eyed shock and nod of
acknowledgement.  The Nazgul had engaged him and now he had to fight.

Haldir tried to face the Nazgul head on, but one parry was enough to
convince him otherwise.  The force of the Nazgul's swing  was enough
to send a jarring pain through the Elf's arm, driving him back a
step.  The dark form pressed the advantage, and Haldir almost wasn't
fast enough to evade the next attack.  The Nazgul swung again, and
Haldir leapt backwards, out of the creature's range.  The arc of the
great sword carried the blade around too far, leaving the enemy open,
and Haldir thrust for the exposed side.

The wraith recovered itself quickly, though, and brought its blade
back to block Haldir's attack with a deafening clang.  Haldir stumbled
to the side from the strength behind the swing.  He concentrated on
evading the fell beast's attacks, not realizing that the creature was
driving him away from his allies toward the dark of the forest.  The
Elf blocked when he could, used every opportunity that was presented
him to counterattack, but was consistently pushed back.  Light though
the Elven blade was, it began to feel heavier and heavier in Haldir's
grasp.  Whether from fatigue or some power of the Nazgul, the Elf
didn't know.  All he knew was that he was struggling just to remain
standing.

Haldir gritted his teeth and tightened his grip on his sword.  He
barely sidestepped yet another fierce thrust from the Nazgul, who
never seemed to tire.  The sweat from his exertions dripped down his
forehead, clouding his eyesight.  More than once, he came perilously
close to being skewered.  Finally, he saw his chance.  The Nazgul
overextended himself and Haldir swung to his open side.  At the last
moment, the creature raised its other arm and the blade bit deep into
the forearm.

Haldir moved to retrieve the sword, but found that the blade had
lodged in the Nazgul's bone -- or whatever unholy force kept the beast
together.  The Nazgul made a sound, a chuckling sound like hooves
crunching over gravel, and Haldir understood the truth.  He had been
lured in deliberately so that his sword would be trapped.  Haldir
pulled frantically, but when the creature lifted the arm above its
head, Haldir lost his grip, and the hilt was torn from his hands.  He
blinked slowly, accepting the dark realization. He was alone, unarmed,
far from reinforcements, and desperately exhausted. He breathed a last
goodbye to those he loved and charged the Nazgul with a howling battle
cry of "Elbereth!"

*****

His men stood behind him with Galadriel's tall and terrible form
at his side as she laid Dol Guldur to waste.  Suddenly, his heart
clenched and he felt the urge to wretch.  Celeborn fell to his knees,
clutching his chest and panting.

Haldir was gone.  Not just from his sight, but from his mind, his
soul.  It was as if half of his very being had been cleaved from him
in an instant.  Tears fell freely from his eyes, anguish seeping into
his heart.  Rumil knelt beside the Elf he had called father for so
many years, not understanding what had caused the great Lord to fall
as he did.

"Ada?" he asked, worry coloring his tone.

Orophin place his hand on Rumil's shoulder, looking with fear at their
Lord.  "Ada, what is it?" Rumil asked again.

Panting, desperately trying to find his voice, he rasped out, "Hal...
dir."

Orophin became stiff and Rumil's throat threatened to close.  "What
about Haldir?  Did he not come back after me?"

Celeborn shook his head.  Drawing himself up and swiping his hair from
his face, he turned his tear-streaked face to the youngest Elf.  "He
is gone, Rumil."

"No," was all Orophin said.

"He can't be gone, Ada... he was right behind me... he told me to fall
back and..."  Rumil's voice hitched in his throat, the reality of the
situation sinking in the longer he looked at the lost eyes of his
Ada.  "No..." he whimpered.  "No."

Orophin fell next to his family and pulled Rumil close.  "Haldir," he
whispered, his tears now falling.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Lothlorien -- May 10th 3019 of the Third Age

He had not moved in the last six hours.  And only then when he had to
get up to relieve himself.  He had not left his rooms in over a month,
simply sitting where he and Haldir had last watched the sun set over
the mellyrn.  Could it really have been such a short time ago that his
lover had graced this room, his laughter bringing Celeborn such
happiness?

There were no more tears in him to cry.  Galadriel had tried to
console him, but he had pushed her away.  She soon went to Rumil and
Orophin, comforting them, loving them in only a way a mother can.  He
remained in his solitude; the hollow, cold feeling where there was
once warmth -- the place that Haldir's soul had occupied -- slowly
eating at him.  To be alone in his mind, in his spirit after so many
years of Haldir's presence, was almost unbearable.

He could not live his life without his love.

He would not let Haldir go.

Lord Celeborn of Doriath, a great Elven Prince with such a connection
to Arda that he hummed with power from the lands, had chosen to
reclaim his lost love.

Tonight, he would challenge Mandos for his lover's soul.

*****

Night had long since fallen, the great mallorn and its occupants
asleep and deep in dreams.  All but one.  Celeborn made his way down
the massive stairway, landing without a sound on the forest floor.  He
walked slowly, but purposefully, into the dense woods.  The trees
whispered the sorrow to him at the loss of his love, begging the Lord
to not seek the great Lord of the Dead.  He beseeched them, though, as
he walked, speaking of great love and need.  By the time he reached
the small clearing where a pool of still water lay, the wood agreed to
lend him the power he needed.

Celeborn removed his formal robes, revealing pale leggings and a
simple silver shirt.  He bound his mithril-like hair back in a thong
and fastened his sword to his hip.  From a bag he had brought he
pulled herbs, phials, and a small dagger.  Near the edge of the cool
pool, Celeborn sat an earthenware platter.  In the dish he put
the various herbs, lighting them and setting them to smoke.  He
inhaled deeply, hearing the sounds of his wood grow louder, feeding
him immense quantities of power.  Raw, liquid gold flowed into him and
he brandished the dagger.

Speaking words as ancient as Arda, in a long forgotten language,
Celeborn drew the blade over the center of his palm.  It bit deeply,
blood welling immediately and flowing onto the ground.  Holding his
arm out, he dipped a finger into the warm crimson and drew various
symbols onto the surface of the dish, his voice rising as he called
for Mandos to hear him, to head his desires.  He demanded entrance to
the Halls, he cried out his pain and heartbreak as his blood slowly
fell to the ground of his beloved wood.

With a final cry, and one last surge of hot power from the very
essence of the Golden Wood, Celeborn howled a challenge to the Valar
for the very soul of his lover.

Silence filled his ears, his cheeks wet.  Celeborn had not known he
had begun to cry.  He looked around the clearing.  Nothing had
changed, he had failed.  He lowered his head, a sob catching in his
throat.

Suddenly, Celeborn knew he was not alone.  His head snapped up and he
looked into the darkness between the trees in front of him.  A figure
moved, slowly and deliberately, into the moon drenched circle.
Celeborn's lungs burned, his breath refusing to come.  Standing before
him in rich, maroon robes and hair as dark as night was an Elf, tall
and fell looking.  The Elf's hair was free of ornaments and plaits,
his eyes such a bright, clear blue they seemed to glow in the small
light.  There was a look of superiority mingled with slight amusement;
the being's arms crossed lightly over his chest.

"You have called, Celeborn of Doriath, and I have come."

He let his breath out in a gush.  The voice that addressed him was
melodious, gentle with a slight edge to it.  It reminded Celeborn of
what he always thought the voice of water would be, cool and lilting.
Yes, he had called and now Mandos, Keeper of the Dead, stood before
him in all his glorious majesty.

Celeborn stood, meeting the eyes that were hidden behind thick, dark
lashes.  The Vala had spoken in the ancient Quenya, and Celeborn
responded in kind, surprised at how easily the old tongue returned to
him after centuries of not using it.  "You took something of mine.  I
want it back."

Mandos raised one eyebrow.  "You should not make demands of the Valar,
Celeborn.  Demands are never met."

"I want Haldir back."

"Why should I care about the wants of the Quendi?"

Celeborn allowed a small smile to grace his lips, though it did not
touch his eyes.  "But, you have come."

The Vala chuckled, walking closer to the Elf.  "That I have.  Make
your request."

The Lord of Lothlorien drew himself up into a formal posture.  "I
request the right to quest for my fallen love."

"It is no small thing you ask."

"Then I ask the right person."

Mandos snorted.  "Flattery is beneath you, Celeborn of Doriath."

"Desperate times, my Lord."

"Very well.  I will allow you to undertake the Quest of Mandos.  Be
warned, though, that the price of failure is your own Fëa, stripped
from you and shut away in the darkness of my Halls, never again to see
the light, even the light of Eru Iluvatar that is within all things."

Celeborn swallowed and nodded.  "I understand."

Scarcely had he breathed the words when he was no longer in the wood
of his home, but in another place, surrounded on all sides by tall
hedges beset with brambles and thorns broken up by various stone
walls.  But no, he realized, not all sides were blocked.  The path to
his left was open, so he cautiously stepped through the gap.  Another
hedge stretched out in front of him, with paths to the left and right.
Celeborn realized he must have been transported to the center of an
enormous labyrinth.

When the Elf-lord turned around, he came face to face with the fierce
blue eyes of a She-Elf with hair as pale as Galadriel's and just as
long.  His voice caught in his throat when she smiled warmly at him.
"I am Yavanna," she said, also speaking in Quenya as Mandos had done.
"You are in my maze by Mandos' request.  You must complete the maze in
one hour or you fail.  Do you understand?"

Celeborn nodded dumbly.

"Very well.  I wish you all the luck of the Valar, Celeborn."  She
chuckled and walked to one of the turns in the maze and disappeared.
One hour.  That was all he had.  All right.

He lightly ran to his left, following where the Vala had gone.  A turn
here, followed by a second, and ending in an impassable hedge.
Celeborn swore under his breath.  He'd hoped Yavanna was giving him a
hint.  He retraced his steps and started down the right-hand path,
trying to keep his mind on Haldir and not on the time limit.

At a four-way junction, he turned left, then right, then left
again.  The path twisted around and led him down several fruitless
paths.  Celeborn finally saw another junction ahead of him, and he
quickened his pace.  He paused in the small clearing, considering his
next move, when he was struck with an uncanny sense of familiarity.

He looked closer and realized that this was indeed the *same* junction
that he'd just come from, only approached from the south rather than
the north.  The path ahead of him would led him back to the start,
while the path to his right was the left he had taken the first time.
The Elf Lord winced at the time he'd wasted on this trap, then turned
left and started down the only unfamiliar path, his steps considerably
slower.

It was several minutes and countless turns later when he made a right
turn and found a large stretch of straight hedge.  Hoping he was
nearing the finish, he rushed the 50 or 60 yards down to the end, took
the right that was offered, and then another.  After dashing back
another 35 yards or so, the path ended with a left turn followed by a
second.  Celeborn ran between the columns of hedges, expecting a turn
at the end, but finding only thorns.  Yavanna's Maze had tricked him
again.

Celeborn fought back tears of frustration.  Time was slipping; he
could not fail.  He ran faster, navigating the twists and turns with
mounting fear.  He had exhausted the swear words in both Sindarin and
Quenya and was now muttering several vile expletives in Khudzul as he
ran.

Out of breath, and coming to his twenty-ninth (or was it thirtieth?)
blocked path, Celeborn howled in anger.  He took a moment to regroup
his thoughts and to allow his breathing to slow.  He *would* find a
way through this labyrinth; he had to.  More corners and halls, more
time wasted.  Finally, driven to the ends of his patience, Celeborn
cried out and punched at the wall before him.  Or, he would have, if
his fist had not slipped through the stone he was facing.

His eyes opened wide when he realized this was the secret to the maze.
He pushed through the wall, moving to the next area of stone he found
and passing through it.  He kept finding the stone walls mixed with
the hedges and finally walked through the final one and returned out
into the familiar forest of his home.

Yavanna and Mandos stood before him, looking at him appraisingly.  In
spite of the fatigue he felt, Celeborn drew himself up to his full
height, and narrowed his eyes as he looked upon the Valar.

Yavanna nodded in approval, saying nothing.  She bowed slightly to the
Elf and then to Mandos before disappearing through the thick wood of
Lothlorien.

"Your second challenge will not be so easy."  Mandos advanced on the
Sinda, smiling coldly.  "You have proved yourself mentally, now let
us see how you do physically."  From nowhere, a slender sword
fell before Celeborn, planting its blade firmly in the moist earth.

He looked up at Mandos with a questioning gaze.  "Who am I to fight?"

"Them," the Vala indicated, turning to his left.  Celeborn followed
Mandos' gaze and saw seven figures stepping from the mist beyond the
clearing.  Six held swords in their right hands; the seventh held his
in the left.  As they approached, Celeborn realized that the reason
why this seventh figure did not hold his sword with his right hand was
because his right hand was missing.  The observation brought with it
the sinking realization of who these figures were.

Mandos nodded, following Celeborn's thoughts.  "You are correct, Lord
Celeborn.  These are the Sons of Feanor, brought back from my Halls
for this task.  You shall face one at a time.  Score three touches
before your opponent to proceed to the next.  Failure to do so will
forfeit your fea to me."

Celeborn pulled the sword from the ground and assumed a defensive
posture.  "I am ready."

Mandos motioned to the Elf on the far right to advance.  This would be
either Amrod or Amras; he was identical to the Elf standing beside
him.  Most likely Amrod, as he was the younger.  He wasted no time,
thrusting his blade at Celeborn as soon as he was close enough.

Celeborn was instantly thrown to the defensive.  He was still reeling
from the realization of who these Elves were, and only his reflexes
kept him from losing before he'd even begun.  Finally, he began to
press his attacks, remembering his training.  The Lorien Lord watched
the twin's fighting style with a critical eye.  Though his opponent
was an accomplished fighter, Celeborn could tell that many of the
attacks were archaic and outdated -- from his point of view, of
course.

Celeborn shifted his tactics to better reflect the swordplay he
learned in Doriath instead of the more modern form that evolved later.
The older form was more concerned with edge-work than point-work,
slashing instead of stabbing, so Celeborn moved in closer to Amrod,
using more power than finesse.  This was the key; Celeborn was taller
than Amrod and was able to simply overpower him.  Three contacts with
the edge of his sword, and Celeborn sent the younger twin back to the
sideline with a nod of respect.

Amras stepped to the line and saluted Celeborn with his sword.  Unlike
his brother, the elder twin was more cautious, gauging Celeborn's
abilities through quick engagements of a few parries followed by a
period of circling, processing what he had learned.  Celeborn
countered by not over-thinking, switching styles at random, pushing
the
attack without giving Amras time to consider his next move.  Celeborn
moved on instinct rather than on tactic.  Amras simply wasn't able to
keep up, and Celeborn took advantage of each mistake, tallying three
touches much more quickly than he had against Amrod.

The third elf walked forward as Amras was retreating, and a spark of
recognition passed between him and Celeborn.  He hissed, "I remember
you, Celeborn of Doriath."

Celeborn regarded him coolly.  "Curufin.  It's been a long time.  The
last time I saw you, you were writhing on the end of my blade."

"And thanks to you, I've spent the ages since locked in the Halls of
Waiting.  Believe me when I say I am going to greatly enjoy this."
Curufin leapt into the fray with two quick feints and a vicious strike
that knocked Celeborn's sword from his hand.

The Sinda threw himself to the ground, diving out of the way of
Curufin's next slash.  Curufin aimed a stab straight down toward
Celeborn's chest, but Celeborn rolled to the side, and the sword bit
deep into the earth.  Before the Noldo could recover it, though,
Celeborn rolled back to the other side, putting his weight against the
flat of the sword until it was wrenched from Curufin's grip.  He
continued his roll, kicking out into the back of Curufin's knee and
bringing the other Elf to the ground as well.

Celeborn stood and thought briefly about going for his sword, but
Curufin bounced to his feet too quickly.  Celeborn extended his left
arm toward Curufin, palm down, holding his right hand low and away
from his side, palm facing his opponent.

Curufin recognized the stance as an 'en garde' position of the ancient
Elvish martial art, Talf-Laden.  The Noldo nodded curtly and attacked
by stepping into strike range and lunging with his right hand, palm
up, aiming for Celeborn's throat.  The Sinda countered by shifting his
outstretched arm to the outside of Curufin's body and pushing the
striking arm out of the way with his forearm.  As Curufin's body
turned, exposing his back to Celeborn, the Elf-Lord brought his right
hand up, preparing a strike to the back of the neck.

The Noldo was ready, though.  He used his momentum to spin himself
around, and he threw his left arm back to block Celeborn's attack.  He
shifted his weight instantly and thrust his right elbow straight back
into Celeborn's face.  When the Sinda staggered, Curufin turned around
and shoved his hand -- palm out, fingers down -- into the soft spot at
the bottom of Celeborn's ribcage.  The force of the blow knocked
Celeborn off his feet and sent him sprawling several feet away.

Curufin walked to his sword and bent down to retrieve it.  He had just
wrapped his fingers around the hilt when he was struck from behind by
a kick to the back of the thigh.  Celeborn did not watch as the Noldo
was thrown into a roll; he dashed to his fallen blade and grabbed it
up before his opponent could regain his stance.  Again the two
warriors faced off with blade in hand.

"Did you enjoy that?" Celeborn asked with a sneer.

Curufin yelled a feral battle cry and rushed Celeborn with all his
strength.  Overextended and angry, the dark-haired Elf was not fast
enough to react when Celeborn sidestepped.  The Sinda slapped the flat
of his sword against the wrist of Curufin's sword hand; the sharp pain
caused Curufin's hand to open reflexively and drop his sword.
Celeborn continued his movement by pushing his foot into Curufin's
calf, forcing the Noldo to his knees.  With his left hand, Celeborn
grabbed a handful of Curufin's hair and pulled the Elf's head back,
holding the edge of his blade against Curufin's neck.

"Yield!" Celeborn commanded.

Curufin strained against both the sword and the hand on his hair, but
both struggles were in vain.  He growled in frustration, then said
through clenched teeth, "I yield."

Celeborn tapped the Elf three times on the top of the head with his
sword and released the hold on Curufin's hair.  The Noldo stood slowly
and walked to his two defeated brothers, face burning in shame.
Celeborn looked back to the four remaining opponents, awaiting the
next adversary.  Caranthir, the middle son, saluted Celeborn with his
sword, then laid the blade on the ground.  He touched his forehead and
his chest in a gesture of respect and admiration, then walked calmly
across the field to join his younger brothers.

Celegorm, next in line, watched Caranthir's surrender with a sneer.
He slid his foot under the hilt of the discarded sword and, with a
snap kick, tossed the sword up into his left hand.  He made no gesture
of salute or respect as he rushed toward Celeborn, two swords glinting
in the moonlight.  The Lord of Lothlorien set his jaw and joined the
battle, whipping his sword around in fluid arcs to deflect the blows
from both weapons.

"You never were one to play by the rules, Celegorm the Fair," Celeborn
challenged as he parried a high strike and sidestepped a low one.

"Rules are for the weak!" retorted the former Regent of Nargothrond.
He swung his right blade high, drawing Celeborn's sword up as he
parried.  The Sinda anticipated the next strike and moved to evade,
but Celegorm had not attacked with his other sword.  Instead, he
turned slightly and side-kicked, catching Celeborn in the stomach and
doubling him over.  Before Celeborn could recover, the Noldo spun and
kicked him in the side of the head.  Celegorm followed through with
his sword, slashing Celeborn across the stomach as he fell.

Celeborn crumpled to the ground, a thin trickle of blood seeping from
the wound on his stomach.  It was obvious now that regardless of
whatever sport Mandos had in mind, Celegorm had his own agenda.
Celeborn rolled onto all fours to push himself up, but Celegorm was
there too fast and planted a swift kick to Celeborn's stomach, right
across the wound he'd made a moment before.  Celeborn collapsed with a
cry.  He looked up and saw Celegorm holding both blades high, points
aimed for his back.

"Guess you lose," the Noldo spat.

Celeborn knew that he could never get his sword around in time to
block, so he released his grip on the hilt and curled his fingers into
a fist.  As Celegorm's attack descended, Celeborn pushed off the
ground with his left hand, twisting in the air, and drove his fist
into the highest unprotected area he could reach -- namely, Celegorm's
groin.  The Elf staggered back in surprise and pain, giving Celeborn
enough time to grab up his blade and hop to his feet.

Celegorm was still bent over and wincing when Celeborn attacked with a
quick thrust to the Noldo's left shoulder.  Celegorm could not bring
his sword to bear in time, and dropped Caranthir's sword from the
shock of the strike.  Celeborn pulled his weapon back, tip bloodied,
and attacked again.  Celegorm parried the first strike, but was unable
to block the second, and Celeborn stabbed into the Noldo's right
shoulder, causing him to drop his second blade.

"Guess not," Celeborn hissed as he pulled the sword back a second
time.  Celegorm had barely an instant to register the Sinda's next
move before Celeborn had spun completely around, adding momentum to
strength, and slashed out for the Noldo's neck, cleaving Celegorm's
head from his body in one motion.

Mandos' eyes grew wide at the ferocity of the blow, as did Caranthir's
and at least one of the twins'.  Celeborn's robes and face were both
spattered with blood, and his eyes were filled with a shocking
intensity.  The strength in his gaze, though, was belied by the way
his arm fell heavily to his side, the point of his sword dragging on
the ground.  The last two bouts had drained his energy more than he
wanted to admit, and he still had two opponents left, both of which
had survived far longer than their brothers and had experience and
training to rival or surpass his own.

Maglor casually walked forward, bringing his sword up in salute.
Celeborn returned the gesture with considerably more effort, then
matched Maglor's ready stance.  Here at least was some honor, Celeborn
reflected, and a sense of dignity.  Unfortunately, the combination
generally produced the most effective fighters.

The Noldo moved into an easy sparring rhythm, lazily drifting through
textbook forms and techniques that Celeborn had no difficulty
countering.  Anytime the Lothlorien Lord attempted to attack, though,
he was swiftly repelled, even though Maglor never altered his rhythm
or his style.  He was simply always *there* whenever Celeborn sought
to break his defenses.  However, Maglor never pressed the advantage,
giving Celeborn plenty of time to disengage and recover when his
attacks were deflected.  Celeborn suddenly had a sickening feeling
in the pit of his stomach that Maglor was much better than he and
could finish him off at any time.

"You must really love him."

Celeborn looked startled.  "What?"

"This Elf for whom you fight.  You must really love him," Maglor
repeated, launching into a simple time-thrust exercise that Celeborn
had learned as an Elfling.

"I love him with all my heart," Celeborn responded, curious as to the
point.

"And yet," the Noldo continued, "you risk yourself and your future in
order to bring him back from the Halls.  If you should fail, you will
never be together, yet if you had but waited, you could have joined
him in Valinor and reclaimed what you lost here."

Celeborn continued to parry through the exercises, giving the expected
attacks when called for.  He became increasingly frustrated at his
inability to progress beyond these childish games.  "Do you have a
point, Randir?" he snapped.

"It just seems to me," Maglor answered calmly as he moved into a more
complex parry/riposte training practice, "that it is quite selfish to
go to all this trouble simply to bring him back to you for a few more
years before you both travel to Valinor anyway.  Are you so impatient
that you cannot do without him for a scant few years, Lord Celeborn?"

"I need him," Celeborn said simply.

"You did without him for Ages -- literally.  From Menegroth to
Lothlorien you were parted, yet you seem no worse for wear.  Did you
not 'need' him then?"

"So much wasted time," the Sinda acknowledged sadly.  "So much that we
lost."  He let his guard down slightly and Maglor moved in for the
touch.  Celeborn recovered himself in time, though, and parried the
attack, riposting quickly and surprising the Noldo with a tap to the
chest.

Maglor was visibly impressed.  He stepped back, circling with
Celeborn.  "Even so, in Valinor, you will have until the end of Arda
together.  Why is it so important that you have him here now?  It is
simply your impatience and 'need,' as you put it?"

"It wasn't his time!"

"That isn't your decision!"

"I will *make* it my decision!"

Maglor cocked his head.  "If that is your only reason, Lord Celeborn,
then you will lose."

The Noldo lunged, and even though he was nowhere near Celeborn,
suddenly the Sinda felt the point of Maglor's blade touching his
chest.  Celeborn blinked in surprise.  Maglor had moved so fast that
he hadn't seemed to move at all, as though he had gone from *there* to
*here* without passing through the space between.

Celeborn scrambled backwards.  Maglor did not pursue.  It was now
apparent that Maglor could end this at any time and doom Celeborn to
eternity in the Halls of Waiting.  The mere fact that he did not was a
testament to his honor.  He would give Celeborn all the time he needed
to convince him of his sincerity, but if the Sinda failed, Maglor
would put an end to Celeborn's chances of victory.  Celeborn circled
as he pondered, occasionally engaging Maglor with more tactical
exercises, which the Noldo obliged without pressing for victory.

"He is my life," Celeborn said finally.  "I loved him before the end
of Telperion and Laurelin, and I will not stop loving him even though
Eru Iluvatar Himself should command it of me.  You say that I lived
without him.  I say that I could no more live without air.  The choice
to be apart was his, and I respected his decision out of love.  But I
was never far from him, and I never felt less love for him because of
his choice.  But this is different.  He has gone where I cannot
follow, and my world is dark and empty without him.  As is my heart."

"*Your* world.  *Your* heart.  Have you no thought but yourself?"

"His brothers miss him.  His friends miss him.  He left behind many."

"But you do not fight on their behalf, you fight on your own."

"Yes, I fight for myself.  I fight for my love, my life, my all.  And
yes, perhaps it is selfish, but what is love if it is not at least a
little bit selfish?  I want him back.  I would like to believe that he
wants to come back.  Ae dannon," he whispered, switching to the more
familiar Sindarin tongue, "dannathon istol i maethannen na vellasen
bân verio i veleth-e-guilen."

Maglor did not seem convinced.  He closed with Celeborn, whipping his
blade up with blinding speed.  Celeborn blocked, and Maglor trapped
the swords together, leaning closely toward Celeborn's face.  His
voice was barely above a whisper.  "My brother always feints to the
right before attempting a tranche.  It's a bad habit he got into long
ago."

The Noldo pushed away from Celeborn, disarming himself as though
Celeborn had been the one to trap the swords.  He held his arms
outstretched, presenting his chest to his opponent.  "Am meleth,
mellonen," he said softly.  Celeborn nodded his head in respect and
lunged, tapping Maglor on the chest twice.

Maglor bowed in acquiescence and walked to join his brothers, leaving
only Maedhros standing before Celeborn; only Maedhros between Celeborn
and Haldir.  The one-handed Noldo lifted his sword in salute and moved
into an 'en garde' position.  "I am sorry for your loss, mellonen.
Would that I had my own way; I would not stand in your way.  But,
alas, I cannot step aside.  I must fight under Lord Mandos' geas, and
I must fight to avenge my brothers."

Celeborn saluted in return, shifting his stance to face a left-handed
opponent.  "Im henia, Maedhros," the Sinda said softly, touching his
forehead and chest with his free hand.  He centered himself and
assumed a defensive stance, inviting Maedhros to make the first move.

The tales of the swordsmanship of the eldest son of Feanor were not
exaggerated, Celeborn admitted as he struggled to keep up with the
staggering speed of the ancient Noldo.  Like Celegorm, Maedhros was
not holding back or pulling his strikes.  Unlike Celegorm, Maedhros
did not appear to be trying to kill Celeborn -- at least, not yet.

Predictably, it was Maedhros who made the first hit, slashing
Celeborn's left arm from shoulder to elbow.  The cut was not life-
threatening, but it hurt like fire and made the arm essentially
useless.  It was a classic tranche attack, one that Celeborn should
have seen coming considering Maglor's warning to him.  He thought back
and realized that the Noldo *had* indeed feinted to the right