Title: Painful Secrets - 1/? Author: Haleth (seraphtear@yahoo.com.au) Pairings: Erestor/Haldir and Elladan/Elrohir Rating: R Summary: Elrohir discovers Erestor's secret and is determined to see him in the arms of his love, despite both elves' protests. Disclaimer: Don't own LOTR. Warning: Incest. Author's notes: This is the sequel to 'Foolish Secrets' and is set roughly a century afterwards, and well before LOTR. Any comments are largely appreciated. It wasn't that unusual that he couldn't sleep. He'd had insomnia on and off for the past century, his mind always managing to bring up 'ifs' and 'buts' during the time that was supposed to be the calm before sleep. It was largely annoying though, this particular night because he had been sleeping well for the past month and had hoped that perhaps his heart had given up. Unfortunately that seemed to be too much to hope for, throwing the covers aside in annoyance, he glared up at the dark ceiling. A handsome face on a strong, wonderfully toned body floated before his vision for one brief heart wrenching moment and he choked on a sob. Or did he? Sitting up quickly he strained his ears, certain he heard something. Not a second later he was rewarded with soft footfalls and another little sob. "Oh, great, just what I need now." He muttered into the darkness. Squinting as his door was pushed open, the light from a small candle seeming far too bright. "What's wrong, Elrohir?" He was very careful to keep all of his annoyance from his voice, knowing how touchy the young elf was. Elrohir was likely to burst into tears and flee from Rivendell if he felt he wasn't welcome. "E-El-Elladan." Elrohir sniffled, setting the candle on the desk before quickly closing the distance between them, practically jumping into his lap and wrapping shivering arms tightly around his neck. And the sobbing began. Sighing deeply he tried to pry the younger elf off but after a minute of the useless attempt he resigned himself to the wetness soaking his robes and the bony body crushing him. "Alright, young one, I don't really mind you crying on me but could you please get your hip bone off my thigh?" Elrohir shifted in miserable compliance, easing the pressure a little. Oh, well, it's not like a little discomfort ever killed anyone. "What has your brother done now?" "He… he slept with that trashy blond snob!" "Legolas?" He couldn't help smirking and was very glad Elrohir's face was still buried in his shoulder. "Prince Legolas isn't 'trashy', young one, I would have thought he was a little strong for your brother's tastes though." "Not really." Elrohir shrugged, sniffling again. "He used to bed Haldir, you know." "I… I didn't know that." Oh, dear. Why had his voice decided to betray him with that catch? Thankfully Elrohir was blissfully unaware of everything but his misery. "Don't cry so, young one, it is quite common for elves who have been bonded for a long time to occasionally take other lovers. The young prince is only a fling." "But… but we've only been together for a century, that isn't very long." "To you perhaps not, but Elladan seems to think of time in the same fashion the humans do. His desires have always been fickle, Elrohir, but you know his heart belongs only to you. You shouldn't worry so." He paused, not sure how the younger elf would take his advice, but it needed to be said. "Perhaps you should also find enjoyment in someone else's bed? It may make you feel better." "And it might make him jealous?" Elrohir sat up, grinning like hyena making him regret his words. "Umm…well, it may do that…" "What a wonderful idea! And I know just who's bed to find pleasure in." "Elrohir? Why are you looking at me like that?" Swallowing heavily he feared he knew exactly why the younger elf was looking at him predatorily but it still didn't prepare him for Elrohir's bold move. "Umm… that's my…" "I know what it is…" The usually innocent twin looked and sounded disturbingly seductive. "I can't understand why everyone says you are cold, you feel warm to me." "That's my personality they are referring to, young one." Forcing his voice steady he gripped the other elf's wrist, removing the hand from his pants. "You are acting foolish, Elrohir, and you will be very embarrassed about this, come morning. I think it would be wise if you left now." "But… but…" The younger elf sniffled, pale eyes glistening with tears. "Don't you want me? Aren't I pretty?" "Of course you are, young one. You are very beautiful but I could not possibly have sex with you. You are my best friend and I don't want something like that to come between us." It wasn't exactly a lie, Elrohir was his closest friend, it all boiled down to comparison. "Really?" And he had a lapful of bones again, slender arms almost cutting off his air supply. "You're my best friend too… Well aside from Elladan of course, but he's too much of a jerk at the moment." "Good, now that that's settled why don't you go to bed?" Elrohir looked at him with large puppy-dog eyes, lips pouting lightly and he knew what was coming before the words were spoken. "Can I sleep here tonight? I'll just snuggle you, I promise." "Is there anyway I can refuse and avoid tears?" "No, absolutely not." Elrohir grinned, grabbing the blanket before 'snuggling' up against him and letting out a contented sigh. "Goodnight, Erestor." Well at least the elbow jabbing into his stomach would keep him from thinking of a certain guardian. *** Despite what his twin thought of him, Elladan hadn't spent the night in a certain prince's guest quarters. He'd spent it wandering the garden and trying to figure out why his brother couldn't understand what he was really doing. They couldn't let anyone find out about their… unlawful relationship. The best way to lie to rest the suspicions about their strange closeness was for them to take other lovers. It was true that no one would ever question the fact Elrohir didn't have a lover, he was 'innocent little Elrohir', after all. But different things were expected of him, his father especially would find it suspicious if he didn't have a lover, even if it was just a fling. He was only doing it to protect his dear twin, it wasn't that he wasn't satisfied with what Elrohir could give him. As the sun started to rise he decided he was going to have to go and talk to his brother, or else Elrohir might act like a jealous maiden and that could be very dangerous. He didn't even bother going to his brother's room, Elrohir never slept there anymore. He would either stay in Elladan's bed or if he was upset Erestor's room. It was a little odd that it was the aloof counsellor that Elrohir found the most comfort with but then maybe that was only because Erestor was the only elf that knew about them. Elladan still remembered when the counsellor had walked in on them in the library. It had been late at night and they had thought it safe enough but they had been quite wrong. Erestor had merely stared at them for a long moment before blinking his large chocolate eyes, shrugging and going about his business as if nothing had happened. They had quickly fled the library with some lame excuse and for days had waited for the repercussions. But they never came. It seemed Erestor had no intention of blabbing their secret but they shouldn't have expected anything less. The counsellor never participated in gossip and was never quick to judge. Elrohir had finally broken and they had gotten Erestor alone to talk to him. It turned out that he hadn't not said anything because he had loyalty to them but merely because he hadn't thought it mattered. To him it was as unimportant as how many flowers a rose bush would bloom. So they knew their secret was safe with him and from then on when Elrohir was angry with his twin he would seek out the counsellor's company for whatever comfort he would give. Entering and moving closer to the bed he couldn't help the tender smile that curved his lips. His beautiful brother was curled contently against the counsellor's side, his features peaceful. Erestor on the other hand looked distinctly uncomfortable, his eyes closed, almost as if he were in pain. Sitting carefully next to his brother he ran fingers though the silky black hair. "Elrohir? Lovely one?" Stirring, Elrohir's eyes cleared and he looked up at him with confusion. "What are you doing here?" "I came to talk to you, love. I hate it when you're upset." "So stop cheating on me." The younger twin pouted, crossing his arms. "You can't just come in here and expect me to jump back into your arms. If you want someone to hold I suggest you go and seek out your promiscuous prince." "Elrohir…" He couldn't help smiling adoringly, his brother was just so cute, even when he was angry. "I've never made love to Legolas. I only flirted with him in public. You know I'm only doing that so no one finds out about us. I'm only doing it to protect you, lovely one." "I'd like to believe you…" Elrohir shrugged, looking down sadly. "But…" "But what? You know you're my everything, Elrohir. I love you and only you, please don't misunderstand what I've been trying to do." Holding out one hand in offering he was very relieved when a hand only slightly different to his own was placed in his grasp. "Alright, Elladan, but I don't want you to do it anymore. If everyone finds out then they find out, I don't want you to flirt with that prince anymore." "Ok." Sighing deeply he tried not to imagine their father's reaction if he found out. They'd just have to risk it because he had never learnt to refuse those gorgeous pale eyes. "Come on then, we can go have a bath before everyone else wakes up." "A bath sounds nice." Elrohir smiled, untangle his limbs completely from the counsellor and slipping off the bed. Instead of leaving though he looked Erestor over with a frown. "You'd think he would have woken up with all the talking we were doing. And why are his eyes closed?" "I don't know." Elladan frowned also, wondering why that fact hadn't registered before. "Maybe he's unwell? But isn't grief the only thing that could make him ill?" "What if he's been poisoned?" Elrohir questioned with alarm, memories making him shiver and Elladan quickly wrapped arms around his twin, soothing him. "I don't think so. You seem to be the closest to Erestor, do you think he's grieving?" "If he is he's been that way for a long time… but look at him, Elladan, he does seem too thin, doesn't he? And he's always doing more than his share of work and he's always been awake every time I've come to see him, no matter how late it is. Oh, dear, Elladan, I think he is. But who is it he's yearning for?" "Maybe Glorfindel or father? That would hurt him if he was, especially seeing them together all the time." "I doubt it. He barely tolerates Glorfindel." "Then what about father?" Elrohir looked aghast at the idea. "Father is… father. I'm positive Erestor isn't attracted to him." He then smiled, a sudden idea popping into his mind. "But maybe they know who Erestor is in love with? We should go ask!" Leaving his arms quickly, Elladan had to jog to catch up to his brother as Elrohir sped down the corridor. "Wait! You're not going to ask now are you?" Elrohir spun, long hair flying in a distractingly graceful arch. "Why not?" His twin seemed honestly puzzled and he couldn't help sighing deeply at his brother's lack of commonsense. "It's barely dawn, they'll either be still abed, maybe *cough*, or getting dressed. You don't want to risk disturbing them, do you? Besides, it's not that important that we find out who Erestor's in love with." "Of course it is. We need to find out who they are so then we can get them together, Erestor deserves to be happy." "And what if the one he wants is bonded?" "Well we won't know until we ask, now will we?" "Fine, Elrohir, but please at least wait until after breakfast to hound father with questions." "I wasn't going to hound him… Oh, all right, after breakfast. Lets go have that bath." *** "Papa? There's something really important I have to ask you." Elrohir walked into his father's study, glad to see that Glorfindel was the only other elf present. Shutting the door he smiled innocently as Elrond looked at him suspiciously. "What is it, son?" Glancing around as if to double-check they were alone he leaned forward against his father's desk, words barely a whisper. "Who is Erestor in love with?" Elrond could only stare, completely startled by the question. Was his son asking because he had a thing for the counsellor? He had noticed Elrohir spending quite a large amount of time in Erestor's company and there had been rumours of his son leaving the counsellor's room early in the mornings. "I was not aware he was in love with anyone, Elrohir. Though I don't see why he wouldn't want you, if you've thought about this properly?" "What?" The twin laughed, genuinely amused. "I don't want Erestor, papa, I just want to help him." He then frowned, looking disappointed. "So you don't know who has his heart?" "No, little Elrohir, I'm afraid I don't." "What about you, Glorfindel?" Turning to the blond he found him looking rather annoyed. "It is none of your business who holds his heart, young one, I suggest you forget about this silly notion to help him and find something better to do." "You do know. Please, Glorfindel, you might be too busy with father to notice but Erestor is wasting away. I can't stand to see him so miserable and weary, he's slowly dying of grief and I want- No, I need to help him." Elrohir's pale eyes were filling with tears attesting to his sincere fear for his friend. "Please, you must tell me so I can help him." "You can't help him, young one. The one he loves doesn't want him and nothing you can say or do will change that. Bringing it up will only remind him of what he can't have and cause him more grief. He's survived this long with the rejection, he will survive for a long time to come." "Survived this long?" Elrond tapped his chin in thought, then his eyes widened. "You mean he's still grieving over Haldir? But that was over a century ago." "He's in love with Haldir?" Glorfindel sighed, his expression silently reprimanding his lover for giving the twin the information he wanted. Now there was no stopping Elrohir, they could both tell by the distant look in his eyes that he was already scheming. "You can't help him, Elrohir." Elrohir just shrugged, beaming. "Of course not, Glorfindel." There was only a split-second pause before he turned to his father. "I'm going to go and visit mother." "You're not taking Erestor with you." "Papa? You would deprive me of my best friend on such a long and dull journey?" Elrond blinked. "Erestor is your best friend?" "Of course, why do you think I spend so much time with him?" Unfortunately he couldn't fault his son's logic. Nor could he refuse him what seemed like a simple and innocent enough gesture, despite the stern shake of his lover's blond head.