Title: Passages 
Author: Celandine Brandybuck, celandine AT wellinghall DOT net 
Pairing: Haldir/Melpomaen [Figwit]
Rating: NC17
Summary: Haldir and Melpomaen find their friendship developing beyond the
expected as they travel from the Golden Wood to Dale and back via Mirkwood, where
they meet Legolas.
Warnings: Angst, AU, Bondage, Masturbation, Voyeurism/Exhibitionism
Disclaimer: Most of the persons, places, and some of the events referred to are
the property of the Tolkien Estate. I write solely in admiration, with no
intention of intellectual theft, and I profit from this in no way, shape, or
form.
Notes: Author's notes may be found at the end.


Chapter 1. Partners Journey

He walked through the forest as only an Elf can: soft and silent as the down of a
baby bird, discarded and fallen to earth as its true feathers grow. In a general
way only did he know where he was going, but he presumed he would be intercepted
before he reached his destination. He had been assigned to join one of the
patrols that guarded the borders of Lothlórien against Orcs and other foul
creatures, but since the patrols were constantly on the move, they had few
permanent camps. Woods-wise though he was, he had not the experience yet of the
long-time scout and fully expected that one from his new company would be alert
to his presence before he was aware of theirs.

Indeed his assumption was not mistaken, for as the sun began to lower in the
west, sending light dancing through the golden leaves of the _mellyrn_, a voice
spoke at his ear.

"You are Melpomaen, are you not?"

He stopped moving and replied to his unseen questioner, "I am. And since you know
my name, I must have reached Lórindol's company."

The other stepped from behind a thicket of holly. "Near enough; this is the
outskirts of our patrol region." He turned his head slightly and gave a call that
mimicked a whippoorwill. "There, I have sent out the alert that you are arrived.
Follow me and I will lead you to tonight's camp."

Melpomaen fell in willingly enough. He was happy to observe the tricks and
techniques the other used to make himself more than silent, to seemingly become
one with the forest. After a moment, though, he said, "I am unused to being in
company with any whose name I do not know. May I ask yours?"

The other Elf turned around to answer. "I am Haldir. I apologize for my lack of
manners, but my mind was on other things. We have had ill-luck these last several
months; it seems that every attack has been in the territory we protect, and
several of our best warriors have been gravely injured and had to return to Caras
Galadhon, fit only for lesser services. Hence your presence here, though welcome,
certainly, also reminds me of those who have been lost."

"I see," said Melpomaen thoughtfully, and they walked in silence the rest of the
way, arriving at the camp well into the night.

There Haldir told Melpomaen to wait below as he climbed to the _talan_ where
Lórindol rested. Shortly the captain himself descended, with Haldir following
him.

"So you are our newest recruit, Melpomaen. What skills have you?"

He answered honestly, "I can shoot four arrows in a minute, and at least three of
them will hit their mark. My skill with a sword is not great, but I am good with
a knife. I can move quietly and track well, and easily travel a day and a night
without rest."

"Not bad for one so young, but we will have more from you than that," said
Lórindol. "In this company we work most of the time in pairs. I will partner you
with Haldir, at least for the time being. He will train you further in archery
and other weapons, and you will go with him on patrol. But it is late now, and
you have been traveling for several days. Haldir, take him to your _talan_; we
can issue his gear in the morning, and you can test his abilities then as well."

Haldir nodded and beckoned for Melpomaen to follow him. "I have spare blankets,"
he said, "but I imagine you brought your own with you for the journey."

"Of course," Melpomaen replied. "I hope that I do not intrude upon you."

"No, I have always shared a _talan_ with another. My former partner was one of
those who was recently wounded and had to leave. But he had not been here long;
before that I shared with one who was made a captain and transferred to another
company," said Haldir.

They climbed the _mallorn_ that held Haldir's _talan_ and quickly rolled up in
their blankets, to rest their thoughts in dreams.

Next morning, as Lórindol had indicated, Haldir put Melpomaen through a series of
tests designed to challenge all his skills of scouting and fighting. At the end
he said, "You have been well-trained, Melpomaen. You need practice, but then we
all must practice. I think you will prove a good addition to the company."

His chest still heaving from his exertions, Melpomaen merely nodded, pleased that
he had been judged fit enough for his new station.

For the next months he acted as Haldir's shadow, following the older Elf and
learning from him as they took their turns on patrol. The year was turning to
winter and it seemed the Orcs did not care for the cold, for they had no
skirmishes. He helped to collect the _lembas_ that the company ate from the
supply dump along the Silverlode and commented, "Never till I came here did I eat
the waybread."

Haldir gave him a look that he could not interpret. "No, it is rare and precious,
and now reserved to sustain we who must be away from the rest of our people in
order to defend them. Eaten alone, it will bring you greater strength and will
than ordinary foods... and it has other properties, as well," he finished under
his breath.

Melpomaen wondered a little at Haldir's comment, but inquired no further just
then.

Slowly the weeks and months passed. Melpomaen's skills improved steadily, until
he was nearly the equal of his golden-haired partner. Haldir complained
laughingly about that one day, saying, "Had I dark hair like yours, it would be
easier for me to melt into the shadows! Perhaps I should dye it?"

Melpomaen joked in reply, "Nay, for you can lay along a branch of the _mallorn_
and look to blend in with its leaves for half the year."

"True enough. One always wishes for what one does not have, I suppose!" said
Haldir. "But come now, it is our turn today to take the northernmost patrol."

So it went on, as the seasons passed from spring to summer, autumn to winter, and
then round again. As the two patrolled together, fought together, camped
together, they began to act as if a single thought ruled them both. If one was in
dire straits against some Orc, the other would immediately be at his side in
defense. If one was injured, the other would be there to bind the wound almost as
soon as it was inflicted. They were the best partnership in Lórindol's company;
even the captain recognized it and held them up as an example to be followed.

After five years, Melpomaen scarcely thought of what his life had been like back
in Caras Galadhon, until one day in Cerveth Haldir asked him, "Do you not miss
your family? I have never heard you speak of them." (1)

"No." Melpomaen looked down. "My parents departed for the West twenty years ago.
My father had also been in one of the patrolling companies, and was badly hurt.
He decided that he must leave Middle-earth, and my mother chose to join him."

"And have you no other kin or loved ones to think of?" came the gentle question.

Melpomaen let out his breath in a sigh. "Distant kin only. As for the other...
well. I had hoped to wed Caranfíniel, but she refused me."

"I see," said Haldir quietly. "I have sorrow for your pain."

"Perhaps it was for the best. I have no lingering ties, now, to distract me from
my duties here. Caranfíniel has a reputation for foresight, so she may have seen
some reason why we should not wed. It could even have been the fact that I would
join you here; she might not have wished to be separated from a new husband,"
said Melpomaen.

Wishing to speak no further of his own troubles, he added, "And you? What of your
family?"

"I am hardly separated from them, as you know! Not from my brothers at least. We
take it in turns to visit our parents on leave, so one of us has always seen them
lately. I think Lórindol had doubts of the wisdom of enrolling three brothers
into the same company, but it has proved to be a good decision. Since Rúmil and
Orophin are twins, they chose to partner together once they had enough seniority
to make the choice."

Melpomaen nodded. He had known this, but had wanted to turn the conversation away
from a topic that he found uncomfortable. Haldir seemed to sense his reluctance,
for he shifted to an altogether new subject.

"I think we two are to be sent out on an unusual mission," he said. "Lórindol
spoke with me this morning. He received word from the Lord Celeborn that a
message needs to be taken to Bard, king of Dale to the northeast, past Mirkwood
on the River Celduin. Lórindol asked if I would be willing to make the journey,
since I am one of the few in our company who can speak in the Westron tongue. I
told him I would speak with you about it. I knew not how you might feel about
leaving Lórien."

"I had never thought to do so," confessed Melpomaen. "But we are partners, and if
Lórindol wishes you to carry out this task, I will accompany you. You will have
to speak for us both, though; I know no Mannish languages."

"As to that, I will teach you a little along the way," said Haldir. "It will be
good for me to do so, to refresh my own memory. And if some mishap should befall
me, it would be well for you to be able to speak the Common tongue enough to
carry out this task, even if you are not fluent in it."

That evening Haldir informed Lórindol that he and Melpomaen would be prepared to
undertake the mission, once Celeborn had sent the message to be conveyed to King
Bard. A week later, the two set out.

"What is our road?" asked Melpomaen. "I know little of the lands through which we
will travel."

"We dare not travel east to begin; that would take us far too close to Dol
Guldur. No, we must leave the forests and journey north along the western bank of
Anduin until we reach the Men-i-Naugrim, the old Dwarf-road leading east through
Mirkwood. From there we may travel along Celduin to the Long Lake, and thence to
Dale, which lies before the mountain of Erebor."

Melpomaen listened in wonder. "How long is the journey, then?"

"I am not absolutely certain, but at least two hundred leagues, perhaps more. A
month's travel each way, and that with the luck to be pursued by no enemies and
turned off-course," answered Haldir. "We have _lembas_ enough for all of the
outward journey, I think, but we will have to purchase supplies of food for our
return, and likely hunt as well."

"That will be a change," said Melpomaen. "I hardly recall the taste of other food
besides the waybread, these days."

"Nor I. I look forward to it," said Haldir. He glanced at Melpomaen. "If
traveling across the open plain disturbs you, we can plan to move at night, while
we are near to Dol Guldur. It might be safer in any event; the Orcs prefer
darkness and if we are both awake our chance to detect and avoid them is
greater."

"Whichever you feel is the better course," said Melpomaen. "We are partners, but
you have the greater experience in these matters."

"Then we shall travel by night, I think, at least while we follow Anduin. In
Mirkwood we must move by day, for even then the light is dim. At night, I have
been told, one can scarcely see at all, the shadows are so thick. Let us move on,
then."

They spoke little as they walked, staying alert for any sight or sound of an
enemy. At times they passed scattered houses and villages of Men, and Haldir
noted that on their return journey they might be able to purchase supplies from
such folk, if needed. Each dawn saw them halt to make a cold camp, alternating
watches through the day.

At length they reached the edge of Mirkwood. Though that night had many hours
left, Haldir decided it would be best to halt and rest, and wait for morning to
tread the dim road through the forest.

Melpomaen, as was his habit, took the first watch. The moon was nearly at the
full, and he had little fear that they would be attacked. To pass the time, he
began to practice a series of exercises designed to increase strength and
flexibility in sword-play, for the sword was his weakest weapon. As he moved
through the sequence, Haldir spoke from his bedroll.

"Your form improves, Melpomaen. Almost I could think you were dancing, not
fighting."

Melpomaen stopped, a little embarrassed. "I did not know you were still awake. I
did not mean to disturb you."

"I am unused to resting at night, now. And you could not - disturb - me. Not at
this time," said Haldir, an unfamiliar note in his voice. "Continue your
practice, by all means. In fact, since I seem to be unable to sleep, perhaps I
should join you in it."

"By all means. There are several moves that I cannot complete without a
partner," returned Melpomaen.

Haldir arose and stood facing him. They moved in tandem, silently flowing from
one posture to the next, like mirrored images. Slowly the pace increased, the
focus became more intense. Melpomaen could feel Haldir's gaze on him, challenging
him to ever greater achievements. At last he had to stop.

"You may be unable to sleep, Haldir, but after that I am more than ready! Will
you take the watch?"

Haldir glanced upward, gauging the time from the position of the stars. "Yes, I
will watch until dawn. Then we must enter the forest."

As Melpomaen drifted off, he saw Haldir pacing around their camp. Clearly
something was bothering his partner, something he was reluctant to share. 

_Perhaps he is simply worried about the next leg of our journey_, Melpomaen
thought. _It is unlike Haldir to be secretive, but if his mood does not lighten
soon I will have to ask what his trouble is._

The next day, though, Haldir seemed to have returned to his usual good humor. The
woods of Mirkwood were dark and very different from those of Lórien, but to be
amid trees again was a pleasure to both of them.

"There are giant spiders living in Mirkwood, so I have heard," said Haldir. "But
I was told that they do not usually venture out of the thickest patches of trees.
So we should be careful to camp close to the road while we are here."

Melpomaen heartily agreed with that sentiment. "Do they fear fire?" he asked.

"I would think so. It might be a good idea to have a small fire each night for
the watch, as well; as long as we are careful and do not go too far in collecting
the wood for it," Haldir said.

That became their pattern as they traveled through the forest: up at dawn, a
wafer of _lembas_, and then walking along a road that seemed unchanging, through
the dark unrustling leaves of the trees. As the always-dim green light faded,
they stopped to collect fallen branches for their fire and make camp. Another
meal of _lembas_, and then watches through the night.

"I am glad that I am not one of Thranduil's folk," remarked Melpomaen after a
week of this. "Though I imagine that his halls are fair to look upon, still I
would find this realm dreary to live in."

"There is nothing to compare with the beauty of Lothlórien, that is true," agreed
Haldir. "And Thranduil and his people have as many enemies to fend off as do we;
they have not Orcs, usually, but spiders instead. Yet I can imagine that if the
shadow in the south of the forest were somehow lifted for ever, beauty might
return here. I would like to visit sometime; not on this journey, for our return
must be swift, but I have distant kin among Thranduil's folk, and he is said to
set a splendid table for guests."

"No _lembas_, then?" teased Melpomaen.

"Assuredly no _lembas_ at his feasts! I do not think that they use it at all; the
Lady Galadriel brought the knowledge of its making to Lórien."

"Speaking of which, it is getting on for dark. We should stop and make camp, have
our meal," said Melpomaen. And they turned to their nightly chores.

At length they reached the eastern borders of the forest, and emerged again into
the clear sunlight. Celduin sparkled in the distance, their guide north towards
Dale.

"Before we reach the Long Lake from which Celduin springs, we shall be able to
see Erebor as our guide. And I believe that there is a well-traveled road from
the lake to Dale, and commerce between the peoples who live there," commented
Haldir.

"Is there no road along the river?" Melpomaen asked.

"Only a little-used path," Haldir said. "The river is the usual road, but we will
travel by foot as we have been doing. I have some coin to purchase supplies for
our return, but not enough to buy us passage on the river as well."

Melpomaen shrugged. He was happy enough to walk and see the land they passed
through more closely.

*******

Footnote:

(1)</a> Cerveth is the Sindarin name for the month of Cermië, or July.

***************

Chapter 2. Dale

Nearly a week later, they finally approached their goal. Haldir's words to the
guard of King Bard's palace brought them inside immediately. There they were
shown to a chamber to rest and wait until the king was able to see them; he was
hunting, the man said, but was expected to return soon.

Melpomaen wandered about the room, investigating the furnishings. It was long
since he had been in such luxurious surroundings.

"I will speak with the king alone," said Haldir abruptly. "I have only to pass on
the message from Lord Celeborn, and answer any questions the king might have for
me. Your knowledge of Westron is not yet great enough for you to need to be
there, and I do not think there is any reason to fear treachery."

"As you wish," said Melpomaen. "Perhaps I will see what their gardens are like.
After the wilds, it would be good to see tended beds."

"A good thought. I doubt the king will have an answer to give me today, so I do
not expect our interview to last long. It may be a week before he makes a
reply," Haldir said. "So I will come or send to find you, before evening."

King Bard was much as Haldir had expected; a strong man, yet thoughtful. He
greeted Haldir civilly and assured him that he and his traveling companion were
welcome for as long as they wished to stay. When he had broken the seal and read
Celeborn's message, he sighed.

"Do you know the contents of this letter?" Bard inquired.

"I do not, sir, I am only the message-bearer; but I was told to answer freely any
questions you might have," replied Haldir.

"At the moment, none. I will have to consider your king's words carefully before
I reply, but I am likely to call on you for information. So if you would remain
in the palace or on the grounds for a few days, I would be appreciative. And
please, both of you join me for dinner. I have never traveled so far south,
myself, and would enjoy hearing of your journey," said Bard.

Haldir bowed in acquiescence. "We would be honored, sir."

"Until this evening, then; and do not hesitate to call for anything you may
require, after your travels," Bard dismissed him.

The meal that evening was a great change from those that Haldir and Melpomaen had
shared for so many days on the road. The red wine of Dorwinion flowed freely at
the king's table, which was laden also with venison, fish brought from the lake,
and many dishes that neither Elf had seen before. Unaccustomed as they were to
such plenty, they nevertheless did full justice to their host's generosity.

Next morning, Melpomaen regretted his lack of restraint. His head throbbed as if
Orc-drums were beating inside it, and he shuddered at the very thought of
breakfast. Instead he made his way outside to the grassy courtyard he had found
the previous afternoon, and there Haldir discovered him lying on a bench, one arm
flung over his eyes.

"Too much feasting for you, too?" he said sympathetically, sitting down beside
Melpomaen.

"You could say that," came the muffled reply.

"Well, perhaps bound to happen. We'll both know to be more cautious from now on
with the wine! Here, rest your head," Haldir moved Melpomaen's head off the hard
bench and began to rub his temples gently.

"Ah, that helps," Melpomaen relaxed at his friend's touch. They sat quietly for a
time, glad simply not to be traveling for a few days, and to be able to let down
their guard against potential threats.

At last Melpomaen stood up and stretched languorously. "You have done wonders for
me, Haldir. I feel as if I might live again now. I have never been in a town of
Men before; have you? Shall we explore it?"

"I would enjoy that. I must leave word though of what we are doing, since the
king asked me to remain available for consultation. I doubt he would object to
our looking around his city, but still he should know where to find me," said
Haldir.

After speaking with one of the servants of their plans, the two Elves wandered
through the city. It was vastly different from the towns of Lórien, which were
built into the _mallorn_ trees. Here the dwellings were made of unlovely stone,
crowded together and stained with the smoke of hearthfires.

"How can they bear it?" whispered Melpomaen to Haldir, as they stood in the
marketplace amid the bustle of daily business.

"Most of them - all of them perhaps - know nothing else. Men are not attuned to
Arda the way that we are. They live so briefly, they simply have not the time to
learn what we understand," said Haldir. "But we should not pity them. Look at
their faces; though times are troubled, still the people here seem content, and
happy with their lot."

Melpomaen took Haldir's hand and pressed it. "You are always so wise, my friend.
I would not have thought to look from their perspective."

Haldir returned the clasp for a moment, then released it. "Not always so wise,
Melpomaen. I simply have had more experience of the world than you have, as yet.
Someday you will no doubt outstrip me."

They had been speaking in Sindarin, both for privacy and because Melpomaen's
command of Westron was not yet firm. Now Haldir shifted to the Common Tongue.

"Come, let us try one of the local shops. You said that you needed to make a new
clasp for your hair; why not buy one here, instead, as a memento?"

"Yes, a good idea," said Melpomaen. They walked along the edge of the street,
looking at the displays of goods that spilled out from each open shop.

"Here is one," called Haldir, who had moved more quickly. Melpomaen hurried to
see what his companion had found. The clasp was not of wood, as was usual among
the companies that patrolled Lórien. Instead it was of silver, smooth and plain
except for a narrow band of leaves along the edge.

"This will last longer than a wooden clasp, I think," said Haldir, "and so will
remind you longer of this journey."

"You are right," agreed Melpomaen. "But I fear the cost will be too great."

"I will do the bargaining," said Haldir, and beckoned to the silversmith.

Melpomaen listened carefully as the two bargained, but their speech was too fast
for him to follow easily. At last they shook hands, and Haldir passed over the
coins, receiving a carefully wrapped package in return.

"I do not think he expected me to drive such a hard bargain!" the Elf said
cheerfully as they departed. "Do not worry about repaying me now. I know you
brought little coin with you, we can settle up when we return home."

Melpomaen shook his head. "You're too kind, Haldir, but I do not like to leave
debts unpaid. Please tell me what I owe you."

Haldir resisted, but finally gave in. "It was five silver pennies. I bargained
him down from eight."

Melpomaen raised an eyebrow at the extravagance he had just been lured into. He
handed Haldir the proper sum. "Remind me never to let you bargain for me again,
my friend! Had I but known, I might have stopped you."

"Do you wish to return it?" Haldir stopped in the middle of the street. "I can do
that, if you truly did not wish to spend so much. I apologize for my hasty
behavior, if I forced something upon you that is not to your liking."

"No, it's all right. I had not anticipated spending such a sum, but the clasp is
beautiful and I will be pleased to wear it for many years, I am sure," said
Melpomaen.

"As long as you're sure," said Haldir doubtfully. "Very well, then. I have seen
enough of the city for today, have not you? I would be glad now of a warming cup
back in our room."

"Perhaps _one_ warming cup," Melpomaen said. "I do not wish to feel tomorrow as I
felt when I awoke this morning!"

The next week passed quietly. King Bard called Haldir to him several times to
answer questions about Lórien's forces and her borders. At last the king reached
a decision, and wrote to Celeborn to accept his offers of alliance.

"Though I do not know how much use it will be," he said ruefully as he handed
Haldir the letter. "Our two realms lie far enough distant, and the Enemy is so
widespread, that it seems unlikely that either of us will be able to readily aid
the other. Dale has traditionally allied with the Elves of Mirkwood, and the
Dwarves in Erebor, but Lórien is far afield."

"Distant, but not powerless," said Haldir. "And he would be a fool who does not
secure allies when he can, even if they seem of unlikely help."

"You are correct, which is why I reply as I do. I assume you will leave
tomorrow?"

"Yes, we are needed back in our company, and summer draws to an end. Better to
make the journey in fair weather, if we can," Haldir responded.

"Then I wish you all speed, and safety in your travels. Should your king wish to
send another message to me, I would be more than happy to see you again," and
Bard bowed in courtesy.

Haldir bowed deeply in response, and left to find Melpomaen and tell him that
they would be departing the next morning.

As usual, the younger Elf was in the gardens, enjoying the sunshine and quiet.
Few of the king's household seemed to spend time here, and he could imagine
himself back in a glade in Lórien.

"Thinking of home?" asked Haldir.

Melpomaen looked over. "Of course."

"Well," Haldir said, "you should be pleased, then, to know that we will leave
tomorrow. King Bard has decided to accept Lord Celeborn's offer, and I have his
sealed agreement ready to deliver."

"That is good to hear. Both the agreement, and that we can leave. I begin to grow
restless in this stone city, do you not?" said Melpomaen.

"Impatient, yes. So - we should see to our packing, that we may depart at
sunrise."

Their packs were larger for the return journey than the outward one. Bard had
given several small gifts to be taken to Celeborn, but most of the increase was
due to the food they carried. Their _lembas_ had lasted for the whole of the
distance to Dale, but was now exhausted. More ordinary foods were far bulkier
than the waybread, and even now they knew that they would certainly have to hunt
in order to extend their supplies.

On this last evening, the king again ensured that the meal was a feast, but
neither Elf indulged as freely as on the first night. They took leave of Bard
with many assurances of respect and friendship between the men of Dale and the
Elves of Lórien, and retired for one last night of rest before their journey
home.

Up at dawn, Melpomaen was almost dancing with anticipation to be on the road
again. He had not realized how uncomfortable he was in the city, amid the crowds,
until he knew he would be leaving them behind.

"Slow down, Melpomaen," Haldir called. "If you walk so quickly, you will exhaust
yourself before nightfall. A day or two more or less will make no difference in
our absence from the company."

Melpomaen slackened his pace at the mild reproof. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I
am just enjoying the freedom to move as I wish again. In Dale it seemed that I
could hardly take two steps without bumping into someone."

Haldir laughed. "I know how you feel. The first time I was in a city of Men, I
had exactly the same reaction."

"But I will walk with you, my friend." Melpomaen took Haldir's hand.

"I would enjoy that, Melpomaen," Haldir told him. If Melpomaen noticed that his
partner seemed a little short of breath, he put it down to the lack of exercise
in Dale.

They traveled quickly that day, however, fresh from the previous week's inaction.
As night drew near, they stopped to make camp.

"One thing about Men's travel rations, they're more trouble than _lembas_,"
muttered Melpomaen, who had volunteered to cook the first evening. Among their
supplies were dried meats and vegetables; the Elf was attempting to concoct a
soup for their meal, with little experience to guide him.

"Just let it simmer for awhile," advised Haldir.

Melpomaen pushed a stray wisp of hair off his face. "I know, I know. I am just so
restless for some reason, I cannot sit still." He stood and paced around the
perimeter of their camp. "I feel as if there is something happening inside me
that I don't understand, and I cannot contain it. It's like - stepping out of
shelter when you thought the sky cloudy, and unexpectedly seeing the stars.
Surprised and overjoyed at their beauty."

 He dropped to the ground beside Haldir and lay with his head propped on his
hands, gazing at the fire. "It is more than just pleasure at leaving the city and
returning to the free fields and forests. It is as if my blood is learning again
how to flow through my body. Do you feel nothing of the sort?"

"I do... but I know what it is I feel, as I think you do not."

"What is it, then?" Melpomaen asked. "You are always so good at explaining
things, tell me this."

Haldir was silent for a moment. He leaned over and touched Melpomaen lightly on
the shoulder, saying, "Are you certain you wish to know?"

Melpomaen felt the touch like fire running through his veins. And suddenly he
remembered the last time he had spoken with Caranfíniel, whom he had once hoped
to wed.

_I will not join with you, Melpomaen_, she had said. _There is that in you which
cannot turn to me, and I will not be bound to a divided soul._ At the time he had
thought she referred to his commitment to join Lórindol's company. But now, in
Haldir's company, he recognized a different interpretation.

_But perhaps I am mistaken_, he thought, and said aloud, "I do wish it."

Again, silence from his partner. Then he felt the other's hand move slowly from
his shoulder to trail down his side, until it rested above his hip. Haldir
repeated, "Are you certain?"

Melpomaen rolled a quarter-turn, so that he faced Haldir directly, but without
losing that tentative contact. "I am," he said.

Haldir exhaled a deep breath, then lowered himself onto his elbow, so that he
looked Melpomaen in the eye. Melpomaen had never before looked into another's
soul as he did then; he saw that Haldir had loved him for years, that the
partnership between the two of them meant everything to the other. And he
recognized that he returned the feeling. _Why did I never see this before_, he
had just time to wonder, before Haldir kissed him.

***************

Chapter 3. Realizations

Their mouths clung together at first as if to let go would destroy them both.
Melpomaen had kissed Caranfíniel, once, before she rejected him, but that
experience had been utterly unlike this. He could feel Haldir trembling even as
he did himself, shaken by the unexpected delight he found in his partner's arms.

Tenderly, Haldir flicked his tongue along Melpomaen's lips, which opened in
response. Their breaths mingled, heated. Melpomaen's eyes were closed as he
concentrated wholly on the new sensations he felt, as if fire and ice ran
together in his blood. He raised a hand blindly to Haldir's face, and stroked a
finger down his jaw.

Haldir ended the kiss and drew back a fraction, so that he could see Melpomaen's
face. The other's eyes opened, pupils dilated until the iris was barely visible.

"So now you know," Haldir said simply. "This is what we might always feel, this
taste for the physical, if it were not for..."

"The _lembas_," Melpomaen suddenly realized. "It sustains the body and the will,
at the expense of the emotions."

"Not emotions," Haldir disagreed. "But the ability to transform pure emotion into
something acted upon. I have loved you since soon after you became my partner,
but without this - need - to express it." He drew a finger along Melpomaen's
neck. His voice roughened as he said, "And it is a need, is it not?"

"Yes," breathed Melpomaen. He in turn traced the outline of Haldir’s ears,
jawline, neck, tearing off the clasp that bound the golden hair and running his
hands through it. He pulled Haldir to himself again, kissing him deeply, their
tongues thrusting against each other. He felt Haldir's hands running along his
torso, tracing the muscles of his chest and then curving behind his back to clasp
him closer still.

Suddenly Melpomaen thought of something. "My soup!" He began to struggle out of
Haldir's embrace.

Haldir laughed. "You put so much water in the pot, it could boil for three hours
and not go dry. But take it off, if you will feel better about it."

Melpomaen pulled the pot to the side of the fire. He glanced over at Haldir and
decided that since they had paused for the moment, he would build up the fire to
last the rest of the night.

Bringing an armful of wood, he saw that Haldir too had moved. He had spread their
blankets together and was beginning to remove his clothes.

"Wait," he called, and hastily dealt with the fire.

Haldir smiled and waited. He had hoped to encourage Melpomaen to return to his
arms more quickly, and the strategy had worked.

The younger Elf stood in front of his partner, carefully removing Haldir's tunic,
and was unlacing his leggings when he paused.

"Sit for a moment, Haldir," he asked. "I will not be able to do more without
taking off your shoes."

"I wondered when you would think of that," Haldir remarked. "You had better take
yours off as well, now, to save trouble." He removed his own. "Would you prefer
me to stand again, or shall I stay here?"

"Stand, please," said Melpomaen. He knelt before Haldir and finished his task,
pulling the garments down as Haldir stood on first one foot, then the other to
allow them to be drawn off completely.

Then he paused to look at his partner, now completely unclad. He had seen Haldir
naked before, of course; they had shared a _talan_ for years, and bodily modesty
was something few Elves had ever concerned themselves with. But this time was
special; it was the first time that he had looked on Haldir in recognized desire.

Haldir was aware of Melpomaen's feelings, and to lighten the mood he struck an
exaggeratedly athletic pose. "How is this, love?" he asked, and Melpomaen
laughed.

"However you stand is fine with me. But I think I prefer you at my level..." and
he hooked an arm around Haldir's legs, pulling him down to the blankets.

"I prefer that too," Haldir whispered, and kissed him again.

Slowly at first, the unfamiliar sensations of desire built up within him, and
Melpomaen moaned against Haldir's mouth.

"Shh, shh, it's all right," Haldir soothed.

"I don't - I've never - I'm not sure what to do," Melpomaen confessed.

Haldir gauged his partner's probable reaction to the truth, then spoke it boldly.
"I have never made love to another, either. But I think we can figure out what
can be done, hm?" He had in fact a very clear idea of what might be done, based
on certain inadvertent observations he had made in his youth. But if it made
Melpomaen feel less uncertain to think that Haldir was equally inexperienced,
then the whole of his knowledge need not be shared just now.

Melpomaen nodded. "Yes, of course you're right." He grinned a little weakly. "I
suppose the first thing is probably to remove my clothes as well?"

"That seems like a good idea. But stay, lie there. I will be back in a moment,"
and Haldir moved to rummage through his pack. 

He came back with a small flask. Melpomaen looked at him inquiringly and Haldir
shrugged, "Scented oil. I bought it in Dale and thought to give it to my mother,
but this seems a better use."

Haldir set the flask aside for the moment, then leaned over Melpomaen. He moved
his hands over the other's torso and legs, with each pass loosening the clothing
a fraction more. 

The teasing caresses set Melpomaen aflame once again, until he could wait no
longer and began to remove his clothes himself. Haldir's hand stopped him.

"No, no, I will do it," and now Haldir swiftly pulled the garments from around
Melpomaen's body, until he lay there wrapped only in the night air. For Haldir,
this was not the first time he had seen Melpomaen unclothed, with the knowledge
that he loved the other, but it was the first time he was able to react to the
sight.

"Oh, my love," he whispered, and buried his face in Melpomaen's neck, kissing and
then sucking there until the blood rose to the surface.

"My love," whispered Melpomaen in reply, brushing away the mingled gold and dark
hair to press small kisses on Haldir's face. He took his partner in his arms and
rolled them over so that Haldir was underneath him. Imagining what he would like
himself, Melpomaen began to trace circles across his partner's chest and belly
with his lips and tongue. By the time he reached the base of the stomach,
Haldir's eyes were closed and his breath came in quick pants.

Melpomaen rubbed his cheek along the length of Haldir's warm hardness, then
retraced the path with his tongue, swirling it around the tip and finally sucking
in the whole. He breathed in the musky evidence of the other's desire, and that
knowledge increased his own to the point where he feared he could not wait any
longer.

Haldir's hands were entangled in Melpomaen's dark hair as his partner traced
deliciously down his body. When a wet mouth engulfed his member, he let out a
strangled moan, straining for control. He gently pulled to bring Melpomaen back
up.

"What do you wish to do, love?" he said. "I am close to the breaking point." His
hand strayed down Melpomaen's body. "And so are you, I think. Shall we finish
this quickly and relax a bit before, perhaps, going on? For I doubt that I can
restrain myself much longer now."

Melpomaen said raggedly, "Yes..." He bent his head to Haldir's shoulder. Their
hands reached, each for the other, stroking first gently, then more rapidly, as
once again their mouths found each other in a passionate kiss.

"Ah..." Haldir hissed, tensed, and exploded into orgasm, followed only seconds
later by Melpomaen. They lay cradled together, their seed mingling on their
skins, their breathing gradually slowing back to normal.

Melpomaen turned his head towards his partner, his lover. "I had never imagined
such pleasure, had you?"

Haldir laughed a little at the ingenuous question. "Imagined, perhaps.
Experienced, no." He rolled over and reached for the waterskin. "Too bad we have
none of the king's wine here, but would you like some water?"

They drank, and then used a dampened cloth to clean each other off. The
flickering light of the fire sent rosy streaks across their skin, and Melpomaen
said, "That is what it felt like, as if there were a fire within me. Had I
realized what I was missing all those years..."

"I know," agreed Haldir, "but there is doubtless good reason for the use of the
waybread. While few would choose lovers from among other men, even with no women
present, I suppose that the effects of _lembas_ help to keep those who are wedded
- or who wait to wed - less discontent. Desire, fulfilled or not, can only be a
distraction in our lives as rangers on the borders of the Golden Wood. So it
would be unwise, and dangerous to the company as a whole, if we were to let this
new understanding between us cause any difference in how we carry out our
duties."

Melpomaen bowed his head. "I know, and yet I will find it hard to
and return to the commonplaces of company life."

"We will have no choice," the words carried overtones of sorrowing resignation.
"But we can still love each other, even if we cannot express it physically."

"Can we?" asked Melpomaen. He sat up, clasping his knees and looking thoughtfully
at the fire. "As you say, it will make things - difficult. Would it not be wiser
to try to put this love aside? All custom and law is against it, as well."

"Put it aside?" Haldir's voice broke. "Could you really do that, now?"

Melpomaen looked over and saw the tears running down Haldir's face. His heart
gave a queer thump inside his chest as he realized that he could never bear to
hurt his partner, his lover. Even if that meant living in restraint and in the
subtle deception of their other friends.

"No, I couldn't," he reached over to touch Haldir's cheek. "Forgive me for the
thought, my love. You may have been aware of your feelings for long, but remember
that this understanding is new to me."

Haldir reached up to take Melpomaen's hand, then drew him into a close embrace.
"I know, Melpomaen. It is just... I was so filled with joy to have finally been
able to tell you, show you how I felt, and the thought that you might turn
away..."

Melpomaen kissed him, to stop the words: a tender kiss, of love rather than
passion.

"We will work out, together, what is best to be done," he promised. "We have the
whole of the journey back to decide."

"We have," Haldir agreed. "Melpomaen..."

"What is it?"

"I have thought, this last week, about what we might do together... before our
return, that is. This time will be short, and may never be repeated. I would like
to make the most of it, if you are willing."

"Of course I am. What had you in mind?" said Melpomaen.

Haldir smiled. "I thought I would begin with this," he held up the flask of oil.
"If you will lie down, on your stomach?"

Melpomaen stretched out on the blankets. "Like this?"

Haldir parted his legs gently and knelt between them.

"Yes."

He poured a bit of the oil onto his hands, rubbing them to warm it, then began to
stroke Melpomaen's back, kneading the muscles in long, loving motions.

"Oh, that feels wonderful," murmured the younger Elf. A realization struck him.
"Tell me, Haldir, had you this in mind when you were rubbing my head to ease the
ache, last week?"

"Yes, I did, but the effects of the _lembas_ had not yet fully worn off. And I
would not have wanted to share my feelings with you in a town of Men, in any
case," said Haldir. 

After a few minutes he shifted to a lighter touch, dancing his fingers down
Melpomaen's spine, along the smooth pale skin.

"That tickles - but it still feels good," said Melpomaen.

"Ah, well, tickling was not the effect I intended," said Haldir. He moved towards
Melpomaen's feet and, pouring more oil, began to massage his legs, first the
right and then the left, moving upward from ankle to thigh. As he finished with
the left side, he allowed his fingers to stray between his lover's legs, brushing
the back of his testicles. Melpomaen quivered, and reflexively parted his legs
slightly wider.

Haldir lowered his head to kiss the spot gently, then took the whole of the sac
into his mouth, laving it with his tongue.

Melpomaen could feel himself hardening with excitement, but waited to see what
Haldir would do next. He was surprised when he was released, and then felt oil
being poured, drop by drop, between his buttocks.

Haldir smoothed the oil into the puckered opening, making sure that his fingers
were coated as well. Very slowly he began to ease one finger past the tightness
of Melpomaen's orifice.

"Don't worry," he whispered. "I would never hurt you."

"I know," Melpomaen said, and tried to relax into the unaccustomed sensation.

Gradually, Haldir inserted a second finger, and moved them slightly within the
heated passage. He could feel a slight protrusion through the wall and stroked
it. Melpomaen let out a gasp of unexpected pleasure. Haldir mistook the sound for
pain and immediately withdrew.

"No," said Melpomaen. "Go on, please."

Haldir returned to his explorations with one hand, using the other to raise
himself so that he could kiss the back of Melpomaen's neck. His lover turned his
head to look at him, and their lips joined, wordlessly. Melpomaen could feel
Haldir's hot body against him, his erection throbbing.

Then Haldir pulled his fingers out. Melpomaen made a sound of protest, but Haldir
shook his head and rolled the other over onto his back. He slid between
Melpomaen's legs again and began to tease him with his tongue, flicking it
against the tense flesh, nibbling at the sensitive veins. At last, when Melpomaen
thought he would be unable to bear it any longer, Haldir finally took him fully
inside his mouth and began to move up and down his length, suckling firmly on the
head, then encompassing the whole.

Melpomaen abandoned himself to the feelings that Haldir's touch brought him. If
before he had felt fire in his body, now it was as if he had become a volcano;
his very limbs seemed molten with desire. He was nearly to the point of orgasm
when Haldir stopped, and he emitted a strangled cry of frustration.

"Sh, love, sh," said Haldir into his ear. "I want this to last long for you."

"Then you must let me caress you as well," Melpomaen said.

Haldir hesitated, then nodded acquiescence, shifting to lie by his lover's side.
Melpomaen half-sat up, gazing at his body in the firelight, admiring the play of
muscles on his chest and the taut hardness below. He slowly drew his hands across
Haldir's torso, brushing the nipples with his fingertips, then suckled them with
lips and tongue and teeth.

Next Melpomaen reached for the oil flask and anointed his hands. Returning his
lips to Haldir's neck and ears, nibbling and breathing on the sensitive nerve
endings, he stroked Haldir's firm member, reaching below to caress there as well.
He felt for the tight opening, and as Haldir had done for him, slowly worked
first one, then more fingers inside.

"Does it feel good?" he murmured. 

Haldir made a sound like a soft growl, his eyes dilated with desire as he looked
at Melpomaen's face.

"Oh yes, I see it does," said Melpomaen. "I wonder..." he removed his hand and
placed the tip of his erection against the opening, "can I follow where my
fingers go?" He eased the head through past the tight ring of muscle, and
gradually slid inside. Haldir shifted his position, raising his knees to aid
Melpomaen's entrance, his own organ erect and throbbing against his stomach.

"So you anticipated me," Haldir said breathlessly. He could add no more as
Melpomaen began to move, slowly pushing into the clasping tunnel, with each
stroke bringing them both closer to ecstasy. Melpomaen balanced on one hand,
using the other to rub against Haldir's erection, until at last neither could
hold back any longer.

"I love you," Melpomaen's voice sang out as he thrust more and more rapidly.

"And I you," Haldir cried as he felt Melpomaen shudder within him. His lover
continued to stroke him and within moments he reached his own climax, convulsing
with pleasure as Melpomaen grasped his willing flesh.

They lay quietly then, in each other's arms. They knew that although their time
as lovers could not last long, their partnership would endure.

***************

Chapter 4. At the River's Edge

Haldir was the first to awake, as the sun peeped over the eastern horizon. The
air hung heavy in the fields by the river, moisture-laden if not quite thick
enough to be called fog or mist. The dawn light turned all to silver for a few
moments, and Haldir enjoyed the beauty of the scene, a pleasure made greater by
his memory of the night before. After five years of loving Melpomaen silently and
hopelessly, not daring to speak lest the other reject him, he wanted to shout his
exultation to the world. A distant part of him knew that the present joy would
necessarily end, but he thrust the thought away and focused on the moment.

The pot of soup that Melpomaen had prepared the evening before still sat near the
last embers. They had fallen asleep, entwined, after their second lovemaking, and
never eaten. Haldir carefully rebuilt the fire and set their breakfast to
heating. He glanced at his partner - his lover, now, he thought tenderly - and
decided to go to the river to wash before waking him. He felt a little sore from
the unaccustomed exertions of the previous night, and hoped that it would make no
difference in how far they would be able to walk that day.

Now, at the end of summer, the water level was low, and Haldir made sure to
choose a spot where the grass grew close to the edge of the water, so that he
would not immediately become dirty when he came out again. He laid a cloth on the
bank to dry himself with later, and slipped into the water.

When he returned to the spot after a stimulating swim up the river, then a
leisurely drift back down, nothing was there. Haldir guessed the reason but
decided to pretend not to notice, simply sluicing the water from his torso and
legs with his hands, and began to walk back to the camp. As he passed a clump of
alder the cloth was suddenly tossed over his head and shoulders.

"Would you like me to dry you off?" came Melpomaen's voice, and Haldir was turned
around to face him as the cloth fell.

Melpomaen caught it before it reached the ground and held it up invitingly, a
teasing grin on his face.

Haldir smiled in return. "Why not? Or would you rather have a swim yourself,
first? The water is most refreshing."

"If you'd be willing to go back again, certainly. I made sure that the fire was
in no danger of spreading before I left," said Melpomaen.

Unlike Haldir he had put on his leggings before venturing down to the river.
Haldir claimed the opportunity to undress his lover. Slowly he peeled the brown
cloth away from the smooth white skin, caressing Melpomaen's buttocks and legs as
he went.

Clothing removed, Melpomaen took Haldir in his arms and kissed him. "Mm, when I
woke up I was unsure where you might have gone. But after a few minutes I guessed
you must have come here. Are you not glad I followed?" he whispered.

"Oh, yes," said Haldir, sliding his hands down Melpomaen's back. "But I thought
you wanted to swim?"

Melpomaen rolled his eyes. "Are we in a hurry today?"

"No. That's why I suggested the swim." Haldir cocked an eyebrow in return. "The
water is cool, and you seem to be getting a little warm already."

"As if you are not," said Melpomaen, stepping back and looking pointedly at
Haldir's growing erection. He waded into the river. "Come on in, then, and swim
with me."

They swam for some time, racing each other upstream - Melpomaen won - and then
floating back toward where they had entered. The sun was well up by now, and the
rippling surface gleamed in the light, reflecting luminously from Haldir's skin
and hair as he stood in the waist-deep water.

"Now, what were you saying about getting warm?" he asked as Melpomaen drifted
past him.

The younger Elf aimed a splash of water at him, then dove beneath the surface to
grab his feet and tip Haldir into the water. They wrestled amiably, each
delighting in the way the other moved, the water letting them slide smoothly
between and around each other's limbs. Each time they rose above the surface they
kissed, tongues and lips lingering lovingly together. Haldir could feel the blood
racing through his veins. Cool though the water was, his skin grew flushed with
warmth and he hardened with desire.

Melpomaen, too, was becoming excited by the gentle caresses. He tugged Haldir to
his feet and pressed the length of his body against him, feeling the answering
hardness against his own. He turned his head and rested it on Haldir's shoulder,
relaxing for a moment into the simple pleasure of contact.

"It feels so good, just to hold you like this," he said softly.

"A good thing, since that is probably all we will be able to share after we
return to Lórien," responded Haldir. "Shall we make the most of our present
opportunities, love? I don't think this stony riverbed is the ideal place,
though."

He drew Melpomaen to the shore.

"Here, though..." Haldir spread out the cloth he had brought to dry himself on a
relatively smooth patch of grass. "Stand here."

He knelt before Melpomaen and began to kiss and caress each leg, beginning at the
toes and working upward. Carefully avoiding the other's eager member, he shifted
to the arms, then the back, then the chest, lavishing caresses on the damp skin.

"Haldir..." growled Melpomaen, running his fingers through the golden hair.

Finally Haldir trailed his kisses back down the torso. He breathed warmly onto
Melpomaen's groin, then carefully used teeth and tongue to nibble and lick until
the other could scarcely remain standing, such was his pleasure.

By now Melpomaen's eyes were closed, all his attention focused on the sensations
that Haldir's loving mouth was producing. The sun burned redly through his
eyelids, a fire that seemed only a pale echo of that in his own body. He cried
out and clutched at Haldir's shoulders with both hands.

"Oh, my love!"

Haldir closed his lips firmly around the base of Melpomaen's erection, running
his tongue up and down the length as he felt him shudder and reach his orgasm,
spilling his seed into the warm and waiting mouth of his lover.

When Haldir released him, Melpomaen sank onto the fabric and reached for the
other, kissing his eyes and face and mouth in a frenzy.

"Only you," he murmured. "Only you, Haldir, I could never feel this way with
anyone else. I love you, I love you."

"And I love you," said Haldir joyously.

"Let me take you inside me, love, as I did to you last night. I want you to be
that close to me," Melpomaen said.

"Not without the oil, Maen. I wouldn't want to hurt you," responded Haldir.

"Then let us go back to where we camped, first. If you don't mind the
interruption?"

"If that is what you want to do, I can wait a few moments."

Melpomaen found his leggings and gathered them up, hanging them with Haldir's
drying-cloth over one arm. His other arm slid around Haldir's waist as they
walked back to the camp.

The flask of oil remained where Melpomaen had set it the previous evening. He
picked it up and offered it to Haldir.

"Pour a little on my hands," Haldir said, and when that was done he used one hand
to spread the oil over his own erection, while with the other he stroked between
Melpomaen's buttocks, massaging it into the tight orifice there.

He kissed Melpomaen again, exploring his mouth with his own tongue, and then
drawing the other's tongue into his mouth he suckled it.

Melpomaen reached down to stroke Haldir, but his hand was gently nudged away.

"If you do that I won't be able to hold back," Haldir warned.

"All right, then," said Melpomaen, dropping down onto the blankets. "Come inside
me, now. I want you to feel how I felt."

"I have an idea," Haldir said. "If you come to your hands and knees, I'll kneel
behind you. I think I'll have more control that way."

Agreeably Melpomaen did as Haldir had suggested. He felt Haldir's hand spread him
wide, a well-oiled finger testing to make sure that there would be no resistance
to entry. Melpomaen gasped as he felt once again the unexpected pleasure, and
though he had so recently reached his own orgasm, his desire for Haldir swelled
again.

"Please, now," he gasped.

Haldir withdrew his fingers and placed the tip of his organ against the opening,
pushing slowly yet insistently inside. Melpomaen tensed briefly, then relaxed,
allowing his lover to penetrate him fully.

"Is that what you wanted?" Haldir whispered behind his ear. He slipped a hand
around Melpomaen's hips and stroked the waiting hardness there.

"Oh, yes," said Melpomaen, distracted by the doubled sensation.

"It is what I wanted, too," said Haldir, moving in and out, at first cautiously
and then with greater force. "I have wanted this for a long time." When his
climax approached he paused, not wanting to finish so quickly.

"I love you, Melpomaen," he said, holding himself still with an effort, although
his hand continued its regular motion. "I think I fell in love with you the first
moment I saw you walking through the _mellyrn_, all their silver trunks and
golden leaves just a backdrop to show off your dark grace."

"I remember you hardly spoke when we met. I had to ask you to tell me your
name," Melpomaen recalled. He could feel Haldir's member throbbing within him,
pulsing in time with the rhythmic caresses his lover's hand was giving his own.

"You did? Bad manners I must have had. I was so distracted by you that I cannot
remember what I said," said Haldir, leaning over to kiss the back of Melpomaen's
neck, brushing aside the long dark hair. The hardened nubs of his nipples rubbed
gently against the soft skin of Melpomaen's back, and he trembled and groaned
softly at the sensation. "Just as I am distracted now," he whispered into his
lover's ear.

Melpomaen turned his head, saying, "I wish I could say the same, that I loved you
right away. But I have to admit I had no thought of such a thing. I did certainly
like and admire you from the beginning, and held you as a good partner and
friend."

Haldir sighed. "I would not have expected anything more. Beyond any effect of the
_lembas_, it is hardly acceptable to fall in love with another man. I began to
suspect that I was unusual long ago, when I reached the age of a hundred and
fifty and had never seen a woman for whom I felt the least desire. I found myself
watching other men, instead, and admiring their charms more than those of the
women. But it took a long to accept that this was the way I am. I cannot tell you
how it was, when you arrived to join Lórindol's company and then were assigned as
my partner." He began to move the fingers of his free hand in slow circles down
Melpomaen's back, reaching around to stroke the other's chest.

"Try to tell me," urged Melpomaen. He sensed that Haldir needed the emotional
release as much as a physical one at that moment, but the feelings evoked by the
touch of his lover's hands on nipple and cock were too strong for him to hold
back completely. He began to move under Haldir, hoping to bring the other Elf
back to delight in the present through the pleasure of the body.

"It was torment - of an exquisite kind. I could talk to you, watch you, touch you
- oh, I had no actual desire, the waybread prevented that, but I had the longing
for it. And you accepted anything I said and did in full friendship, but with no
hint of anything beyond. So I had great pleasure in your company, but also great
frustration because of the unlikeliness that our partnership would ever be more
than that."

Haldir paused, and pressed against Melpomaen's shoulder to hold him still. "Wait,
let me finish speaking. I had decided that I would be alone and unjoined all my
life, and was trying to reconcile myself to that. Then the opportunity for this
journey came along, and I thought that at least it might give me a chance to say
something to you, in private, so that if you despised me for my feelings I might
persuade you to say nothing. I did not really expect you to return them."

Thinking of the long years of solitude, of near-despair, of the sudden arrival of
Melpomaen and the conflicting reactions he provoked, and of his own vulnerability
to his partner when he had finally admitted his love and desire, was suddenly
almost more than Haldir could bear. He drew in a long, shuddering breath, and
Melpomaen felt wetness as his lover's cheek pressed against his back.

"But I did. I do love you, Haldir," said Melpomaen softly, rocking back and
forth. He shifted his weight to balance on one hand and used the other to reach
through his legs and press Haldir more deeply inside him, gently touching the sac
and feeling the precious contents within.

"I believe you; I just don't quite understand why," breathed Haldir. He began to
thrust again into Melpomaen's body, relieving the tension of his feelings with
his motion.

"Why? Why does any person love another? You fulfill me, that is why," said
Melpomaen, groaning at the renewed pleasure. "Together we are more than
separately. Is that not reason enough? Please don't worry about reasons. Let us
just be happy that we have found each other."

"You are right," Haldir said. "And I am, I assure you."

He let go and placed both his hands on Melpomaen's waist, then withdrew almost
entirely, making tiny thrusts, teasing, until neither of them could bear it any
longer. Finally he allowed himself inside again completely and once more grasped
his partner's organ, rubbing the oil-slicked skin, passing the pad of his thumb
across the head.

"Are you ready?" Haldir gasped, his passion reaching a peak that was almost
painful.

"Oh yes - now - please," said Melpomaen, almost whimpering as Haldir thrust once
more, deeply, and released into his body. A last stroke and his own flood gushed
forth again. His knees gave way and he collapsed onto the blanket, Haldir on top
of him, still within him, as if their bodies had become one.

They rested quietly for a few minutes, savoring their union. Then Haldir
reluctantly withdrew and reached for the cloth to clean up.

"I suppose we had better eat and move on," he said.

Melpomaen rolled over and stretched. "Can't put it off forever," he agreed.
"Shall we have that soup I made, finally?"

"As long as it hasn't simmered away to nothing," Haldir replied, pulling on his
clothes.

Once dressed, Melpomaen found a pair of bowls in his pack and carefully divided
the soup between them.

"It's hot," he warned Haldir, handing him a bowl and spoon.

Haldir blew on the surface, then dipped out a spoonful. "But good. I thought you
said you had little experience cooking?"

Melpomaen shrugged. "I haven't much. But I know that the longer a soup sits, the
better it usually is; so maybe we should always make it the night before, and
wait for breakfast to eat it!"

A laugh was his answer. "What then would we eat for supper, though?"

"True, that's a problem," Melpomaen acknowledged.

They finished the meal quickly and broke camp. Since they were to travel along
the river for a few days yet, water should present no difficulty, but Haldir
refilled their waterbags nonetheless when he went to rinse out the bowls and pot
at the river.

"Ready, then? Let's go," he said, returning.

***************

Chapter 5. _Lembas_

Over the next days the two Elves retraced the route they had taken just a little
while before – but the differences between the two journeys were great indeed. On
the way to the north they had not consciously hurried, but had made rapid
progress nonetheless. Now, heading home to bring welcome news of the accepted
alliance between Dale and Lórien, they lingered, often not breaking camp until
mid-morning, and usually halting well before the sun set in all her ruddy
splendor.

The cause for the change was, of course, their newly physical relationship, which
only the absence of _lembas_ had permitted. Melpomaen mused on what Haldir had
told him about the waybread. It did not deaden one's feelings, by any means, but
rather placed a kind of buffer between the mind and the body, so that certain
types of emotions that would normally evoke a bodily response did not.

"How did you learn of what the _lembas_ does, if I may ask?" Melpomaen asked as
they made their way through a natural meadow, now golden with the end of summer.
"It is certainly not common knowledge, and the effect is limited – I would
certainly never have divined the secret by simply observing its influence on
myself. Even if I noticed a decrease in desire, I would assume that was simply
due to the length of time I had spent apart from a beloved, and my body's natural
reaction to such a separation."

Haldir took his hand and matched his step to Melpomaen's. "I really cannot claim
that I discovered the quality on my own. Do you know how _lembas_ is made?"

"No," said Melpomaen slowly. "I have heard that it is prepared by the Lady
Galadriel and her maidens, but that is all."

"I do not know the details of its creation, but my cousin Andúniel is one of the
Lady's attendants. One midwinter when I happened to be on leave and visiting my
parents in Caras Galadhon for the festival, she and I spent an afternoon
together, talking, and she told me that the Lady had warned them not to eat the
_lembas_ they helped prepare. In part because it is not easy to make, and since
it keeps long and a small amount will sustain many, it is reserved for those who
help protect the land. But also in part because many of the women are young, and
newly wedded or seeking to wed, and eating waybread regularly would interfere
with their natural desires and the begetting of children."

Here Haldir paused, both in speech and motion, and drew his lover to him for a
kiss, as if to reassure himself that no longer was he influenced by the _lembas_
he had eaten for so many years. Then he resumed his pace and his tale.

"Andúniel did not know if it would have the same effect on men as on women, but
after I had learned this much from her I began to pay attention to its impact on
me. Slowly I perceived that I was troubled less by the realization that I am
drawn to men rather than women when I was out in the forest, and one would think,
surrounded by those I might come to love. But no, it was on leave, and when I ate
ordinary food, that I was likely to feel a hint of desire. So I came to
understand what _lembas_ does, though I do not know how. The how does not really
matter. But I have long been bitter that such a thing has been forced upon me
unknowingly – oh, I probably, almost undoubtedly, would have consented and
accepted the consequences had I been told what they were – but I was not, and
that I resent."

"Yes," Melpomaen frowned. "It seems unjust to me as well now that I think on it.
Clearly the effect lasts only as long as one actually eats _lembas_ regularly,
and causes no permanent change, but are the rangers of the Golden Wood to be thus
treated, as if we were children being given medicine disguised as a sweet? If
this is the fabled wisdom of the Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel, I do not think
much of it. Is there nothing we can do?"

Haldir shrugged. "What would you do, tell all our other comrades that they are
being restrained without their knowledge? Some would not believe you. Many might
not care. And it would bring great tension and distress to all, perhaps to the
point where it harmed our ability to protect the people of the country. I do not
think we can change this, sadly. But I am relieved to be able to speak freely of
it to you, at least."

Now it was Melpomaen who drew to a halt. He looked seriously into Haldir's eyes.
"You know you can tell me of anything, anything you wish."

"I know," Haldir touched his fingers to Melpomaen's lips. "I know."

Melpomaen kissed the slender fingertips, raising his own hand to grasp and hold
the other's. His tongue darted out to meet the pad of one finger, then he drew it
in, mouthing it with wet and gentle suction.

Haldir's eyes flickered closed for an instant as the loving touch caused his
chest to tighten and brought a surge of heat to his body, but he opened them
again and shook his head firmly.

"Not now, love, it is hardly past midday and we have been walking slowly anyhow.
We really should. . ."

"We really should pause now," Melpomaen asserted. "We could travel till sunset,
then, instead of stopping earlier."

He looked around for shelter from the sun. Perhaps half a mile ahead was a band
of trees and brush, marking where a stream fed into the River Celduin. He
pointed.

"There, I think, would be a good resting place, in the shade."

"All right," Haldir gave in. "You tempt me too easily, you know."

"And why not? Since this journey is the only chance I will have to do so."
Melpomaen gave Haldir a smile that mingled delight and mischief. "Wait here for a
few moments while I go ahead."

Wondering what his lover could be planning, Haldir nodded and watched him stride
off fluidly across the grass.

When he reached the edge of the trees, Melpomaen found that the underbrush grew
thickly under most of them, but there were one or two large oaks not far from the
stream whose shade was deep enough to prevent much else from thriving underneath.
He quickly cleared his chosen spot of stray twigs and stones and spread out the
blankets he carried, then checked to make sure that the way to the water was
equally clear. Despite his words to Haldir, Melpomaen hoped that he would be able
to distract his lover sufficiently that they would travel no further that day. He
knew in his heart that they could not do otherwise than return to Lórien, but a
little delay did not seem dishonorable.

Melpomaen was waiting when the other Elf came walking through the trees. He led
Haldir over to the place he had made ready, and set his shoulder pack aside, but
had them both remain standing for the moment.

"Now, where was I?" he murmured. "Ah yes."

He lifted Haldir's right hand to his lips, and again sucked in the tip of one
finger, tugging at it and letting his tongue gradually trace the whole length.
Carefully he repeated the process on each finger, cradling the other's hand to
his face as he worked.

As Melpomaen's dark head bent over him, Haldir looked up into the wavering green
light that fell through the leaves. He stood with his legs braced apart, and
every tug that he felt on his fingers brought an answering jolt down into his
groin. He could feel himself hardening, pushing against the tight fabric of his
leggings, and as Melpomaen blew across his wet fingers it sent new shivers of
pleasure down his spine.

When his right hand had been lavished with kisses and released for the left to be
taken up in turn, Haldir began to reach to undo the laces that constricted him,
but Melpomaen caught his hand, saying only, "Wait."

Not until he had loved each finger did Melpomaen begin slowly to remove Haldir's
clothes, but he had ideas for more than a quick lovemaking. The closeness of the
little stream had suggested another possibility. He shrugged off his own clothes
and beckoned Haldir to follow him, catching up the piece of soap that he had laid
to one side of his pack.

Haldir's eyes widened, but he took the few steps to the stream behind Melpomaen.
The watercourse was swift and deep, but here a bend had produced a shallower,
calmer pool, perfect for bathing.

Melpomaen stepped in. The width of the stream here had allowed the sun to warm
the water to nearly tepid in the shoals. The pebbly bottom was a little
uncomfortable to walk on, but several larger, flatter rocks would serve for
sitting or kneeling, as needed. He took Haldir's hand and guided him to one of
these. The sun on the older Elf's hair turned the strands to living gold, and
Melpomaen caught his breath to see the beauty of his lover's figure. He put aside
his own feelings, though, to continue what he had begun.

With Haldir seated comfortably, the shallow water reaching only just above his
waist, Melpomaen began to rub the soap across Haldir's body, leaving streaks of
foam on arms, back, and chest. Then he cupped his hands to rinse the lather off,
bit by bit, caressing the skin soothingly as he went.

The urgency of Haldir's desire had been reduced somewhat by the cool pressure of
the stone beneath him, and he relaxed into Melpomaen's ministrations. Each touch
was a reassurance to him that whatever others might think, theirs was a true
bonding.

He stood at Melpomaen's request so that his legs, too, could be carefully washed.
Melpomaen ran his hands down the taut muscles of thigh and calf, and poured water
in a tiny cascade down each leg, again and again until every trace of soap was
gone. Although he did not want to arouse Haldir too greatly just yet, he gently
washed his buttocks and groin as well, trying to keep his touch as impersonal as
he could, but at last he gave in to his own impulse and slipped a finger down the
inviting crack.

Haldir made a guttural sound and shifted to open wider, but Melpomaen rapidly
withdrew.

"Not yet," he said softly.

After bathing Haldir completely, he led him back to the blankets and told him to
rest there for a few minutes. Then Melpomaen returned to the stream and washed
himself quickly, squatting on the stony bed and splashing water over his body to
rinse off.

On his return he found Haldir sprawled carelessly across the blanket, legs akimbo
and one arm thrown over his eyes, though the light through the leaves was hardly
bright. He rolled over as Melpomaen came up, and rose to his knees.

"How long were you planning to tease me, then?"

"As long as it takes," said Melpomaen blithely. He made a fist and tapped Haldir
lightly on the shoulder. "So if you would lie down again. . ."

Haldir exhaled sharply, glared for an instant, and then propped himself on his
elbow.

"No, on your stomach, please, Dír."

He shifted to lie prone, head turned to the left. Melpomaen's last touch in the
stream had brought all his desire and need raging back, and he could feel the hot
blood pumping through his trapped organ. A rustling noise told him that he had
guessed correctly that his lover was retrieving the flask of oil. But he had not
anticipated what happened next. A band of cloth – a spare shirt, folded, he
guessed – fell across his eyes. Melpomaen lifted his head and passed the cloth
completely around it, tying it so that he could not see.

"What are you doing?" He began to struggle to sit up.

Melpomaen's breath tickled his ear. "I noticed, over the past week of making love
with you, that every sensation seemed greater when my eyes were closed. So I
thought this might be worth trying; you will not be able to open them at will to
distract yourself."

Haldir admitted that was possible, but found being blindfolded a bit unnerving.

"Just relax, love. Lie down and relax," Melpomaen advised.

He did so, trying to slow the pounding of his heart. He sensed Melpomaen moving
above him, until the other's knees were placed outside his hips and he could feel
the weight of his lover's body resting on his thighs and buttocks.

Melpomaen poured a little oil into his palms and rubbed them together to warm the
viscous fluid. He anointed Haldir's back all over, and then began to massage,
digging his fingers in firmly but not roughly as the muscles released their
tension, a process that took some little time. Then he shifted to passing his
palms down the back and sides, making long, smooth strokes from the nape of the
neck to the base of the spine. By now Haldir had realized that there was nothing
he could do to dissuade Melpomaen from following whatever plan he had thought of
for this day, and so he surrendered completely to the soothing touch.

Feeling the shift in breathing that indicated this, Melpomaen wriggled a little
farther down toward Haldir's feet, parting them so that he could kneel between
the legs, and shifted his attention to Haldir's lower back and buttocks, still
careful to keep his movements relaxing, rather than stimulating. Haldir drifted
on the very edge of sleep, still somewhat aroused, but no longer caring about it.
The delightful feelings that Melpomaen was evoking were enough.

When Haldir seemed completely relaxed, Melpomaen rested briefly, still moving his
hands in lazy circles across the pale skin. Then he leaned forward, parted
Haldir's legs a bit further, and breathed moistly onto his sac. He drew his
tongue upwards, using his hands to separate the buttocks, and began to dart it
just into the orifice there.

Haldir reacted immediately, his desire leaping back into flames, and he became so
hard that he ached with it. But he knew that the only course he could follow this
day was to let his lover lead, so he restrained himself from turning to grasp
Melpomaen in his arms and simply waited to see what would happen next.

Melpomaen kneaded Haldir's thigh with one hand as he continued to kiss him, while
with the other hand he spread some of the oil onto his own pulsing member. The
massage had done its work and Haldir was still relaxed despite his arousal.
Melpomaen raised his body up and slipped unhurriedly inside the tight passage,
eliciting a deep groan from his lover as the movement stimulated the sensitive
node within. His hand reached around and underneath, grasping the swollen cock.
He did not stroke it, merely held it to prevent Haldir from rubbing against the
blankets, for he was still determined to draw out their loveplay as long as
possible.

He moved in and out, never completely withdrawing, enjoying both the hot friction
and the knowledge of Haldir's pleasure. As he sheathed himself completely, he let
his torso rest on Haldir's back and used his teeth and lips to tug on an earlobe,
breathing warmly onto it, speaking no word.

Haldir was finding that being unable to see did indeed increase the sensuousness
of every kiss, every touch. Each thrust that Melpomaen made was a step up a
spiraling stair of bliss. Even his lover's refusal to allow him to reach a climax
no longer troubled him; he felt surrounded by Melpomaen's devotion and knew that
he would not be denied forever.

Gradually Melpomaen increased the tempo of his movements, allowing himself to
surrender to the desire he felt. He gave one final push and shuddered in release,
the flood of his passion spilling deep within Haldir's body.

Haldir involuntarily cried high in his throat as Melpomaen withdrew and left him
alone for a moment. Then he felt himself being turned over and urged to sit up.
As he did so a slick hand stroked him, coating him with oil. He braced his hands
behind him as Melpomaen knelt with his back to his lover's chest and slowly
lowered himself onto Haldir's waiting organ.

He could wait no longer. He embraced Melpomaen tightly and pulled him down,
pushing frenziedly into him. He rolled them both over until they lay on their
sides, cradled together, Haldir's fingers on Melpomaen's hard chest brushing the
firm nubs, his arms clasping tightly, his rigid member buried deep.

"Yes, take me," he heard Melpomaen say. "I am yours."

"Ah, and all I am and have is yours," cried Haldir. He kissed the back of his
partner's neck where it met the shoulder, and as he climaxed, bit into the flesh.

Joined, they rested, the breeze cooling the sweat from their bodies.

"Was that not worth stopping for?" murmured Melpomaen tiredly.

"Can you ask?" said Haldir. He tightened his arms around his lover and kissed the
damp skin. "I don't know how I will be able to go back to simply being partners
in the company, after this. It will be a wrench to give up such joys."

"Must we?" Melpomaen said.

***************

Chapter 6. "Where you go, I will follow"

"Must we give this up?" Melpomaen repeated.

His words hung in the air between them. Haldir had meant his statement
rhetorically, but the reply he received suggested that his lover might have other
ideas.

"I do not see how we can do otherwise," he pointed out. "Once we return to
Lothlórien, we will both rejoin Lórindol's company. And all the rangers eat
_lembas_ on patrol; it has many virtues to sustain body and will, and it keeps
long and requires no fire to prepare. Even in camp we eat it much of the time,
for convenience."

"But there is no law that says we _must_ eat the waybread," insisted Melpomaen.
"It is, as you say, a matter of convenience. Could we not choose to eat other
foods instead? To take something besides _lembas_ with us on sentry duty, for
instance?"

Haldir sighed, withdrawing from his partner and rolling over onto his back. He
looked up into the green leaves fluttering above them in the breeze, the oak so
unlike a _mallorn_ of his home, yet beautiful in its own rugged way.

Picking up a cloth and dampening it to clean himself with, he said, "It would be
noticed. You have helped bring in supplies for the camp; some is ordinary food,
to be sure. But not much. And when we are issued rations for our turn on patrol
Thalion does not ask what we wish to eat, but simply hands us as many packets of
waybread as experience has taught him a pair of rangers will need for that length
of time. If we asked for something else, it would seem strange."

"So what if it seems strange?" said Melpomaen, running his hand along Haldir's
chest. "Why should we care? Everyone knows that we work better together than any
other pair in the company - who will question us, if we want to eat something
different for a change?" He took the cloth from Haldir.

"It matters not who. If anyone does begin to wonder, and speculate, there could
be - difficulties. Few may know all the properties of _lembas_, but the captain
well might. And if he or any other does, and our choosing not to eat it is
remarked upon..." Haldir shivered. "There could only be one interpretation, that
we avoid it so that we may enjoy physical desire. With no women about, the
conclusion would inevitably be reached that we are lovers."

"What of that? I am not ashamed to love you."

"To love, no, there is no shame in loving - as a friend. But think, Maen. Did you
know, back in Caras Galadhon, of any bonded couples in which both were men, or
both women? Our people will not accept such a thing. Friendship, aye, but nothing
beyond," finished Haldir.

He sat up, hugging his knees to his chest, his head bowed.

Melpomaen had not consciously considered their situation in such terms before. He
cast his mind back to his youth, and could think of no examples to contradict
Haldir. Indeed, when he sifted through his memories carefully, he recalled a few
sniggering comments made about Elves who had remained unwedded long past the
usual time. Rangers were generally exempt from such remarks, since it was
recognized that their devotion to their duty precluded an easy marriage; those
who joined the rangers before they had wed were not encouraged to do so until
they chose to leave their company. But Haldir was undoubtedly correct in saying
that the people of Lórien would see their relationship as wrong, as a violation
of the natural order of things.

As the full realization of their uneasy situation struck him, Melpomaen paled and
turned away from his lover.

"I never thought - I never understood," he muttered.

Haldir reached to pull him close, embracing him and laying his cheek against the
other's smooth skin.

"I know. And it is too late to change matters, now; once bonded, we cannot choose
otherwise. And I would not do so if I could, _meldanya_. (1)</a> You are the
other half of myself."

Melpomaen's muscles were clenched against Haldir's touch. "How do we know that
this is a true bond? I do not say this to hurt you, for you know I love you. But
we are told that if one spouse is slain untimely, and the spirit travels to the
halls of Mandos, that the other spouse is forbidden to marry again. Would this be
true for us? And if not, can we say that we are indeed joined in this way?"

"I cannot say," Haldir replied, troubled. "I have never heard the question
discussed, not even in philosophical debate. All I know is that the night that we
first came together, I felt our spirits mingle in wonder and delight, as I have
heard it said that the spirits of husband and wife do when they are wed and first
experience the body's full pleasures. And were we to be parted, I would not ever
wish to seek for another," Haldir said, gently smoothing Melpomaen's hair.

The dark Elf suddenly turned and clung to his partner. With his voice muffled
against Haldir's neck, he said, "No, I felt the same. And whether the bond
between two men is indistinguishable from that between a man and a woman matters
little, for where you go, I will follow, and where you die, I will die too, and
meet you again in Aman." (2)

Haldir pressed his lips to Melpomaen's, then drew a little away, saying, "But you
see that we cannot avoid the loss of this part of our love, however much we might
desire otherwise."

Melpomaen shook his head stubbornly. "I am not willing to accept that, though I
see that my idea would not work. Would Eru have created us in such a way as to
enable us to feel such joy with one another, if it were truly prohibited, or
impossible to have? I cannot reconcile myself to such an end."

He lifted his hand to Haldir's face and tucked the loose strands of golden hair
behind his ear, trailing his thumb down the white skin of his neck. Haldir caught
his hand and kissed the palm fervently.

"I do not want to, either," he admitted. "But I can think of no solution. We have
perhaps a month yet to travel, so maybe in that time together we can devise some
course of action that will work."

He glanced at the sun, adding, "Nor do I think we will be traveling any further
today; the shadows grow long."

An impish smile lit Melpomaen's face. "I am glad you say so. If we are unable to
think of a way to allow ourselves passion once we return, I would as soon prolong
this journey."

He turned to rummage through his pack. "Wait. Let me find... ah, here it is." He
held up a wooden comb triumphantly, then became a little shy. "Will you permit
me?"

Haldir nodded. Melpomaen knelt behind him and began to draw the comb through the
heavy mass, teasing out each tangle as he found it. Haldir's hair seemed to him
to hold the very light of the sun within each strand, a beacon that guided and
directed his love to its object. It twined about his fingers like a living thing
as he slowly smoothed each lock, and then made a plait above each ear to hold the
rest back.

As Melpomaen worked, Haldir closed his eyes to enjoy the sensual pleasure that
the unaccustomed attention brought. The glancing touches to his neck and ears
especially stimulated him. Though they had but lately fulfilled their desires, he
found that the talk of the possible end of all their ardor had made him eager to
repeat it, as if in defiance of all the future. This time, though, he would lead
and his lover would follow.

Braids completed and secured by a thread wrapped tightly around the end,
Melpomaen reached to replace the comb. Haldir stopped his arm and plucked the
comb from his fingers, moving around to kneel behind him in turn.

Not since he was very young had anyone else combed his hair, and Melpomaen was
surprised by how thrilling it felt to have Haldir's fingers running along his
scalp, lifting it and loosening the dark tangled strands before drawing the comb
through. He sighed and relaxed, letting Haldir do as he would.

Haldir was enjoying his task nearly as much as when he had been the recipient,
drawing his fingers through the silky dark length. He bent to press a kiss to
Melpomaen's left shoulder, and then delicately traced his way up along his neck
and to the sensitive ear. He licked at the curled edge, then nipped the earlobe
with his teeth, still playing with Melpomaen's hair with his right hand. He
shifted then from kneeling to sitting flat on the blanket, legs parted to enclose
his partner, pressing up against his back. He trailed his left hand along
Melpomaen's leg from knee to thigh to groin, where the evidence of desire awaited
him.

As he touched the hardening organ, Melpomaen gasped and thrust his hips forward
slightly. Haldir increased the pressure of his touch in response, pulling
Melpomaen back against his own erection, and began a gentle rocking motion
forward and back.

"Don't be in a hurry," he murmured, breathing into Melpomaen's ear.

Melpomaen turned his head to join his lips to Haldir's, reaching his hands around
to clasp the other's buttocks, sliding along the silken skin.

"No hurry at all," he agreed as he ended the deep kiss and gave himself up to the
ecstatic sensations. Haldir's loving touch was like a fire searing along each
nerve of his body, healing even as it burned. He felt enveloped, cherished, and
he embraced the knowledge that without this love, he would no longer wish to live
as he had done before.

After a time Haldir turned his attention to the other ear, suckling the lobe and
probing the canal with his warm tongue. He wrapped his right arm around
Melpomaen's chest, grazing his thumbnail across the firm muscle, then pinching
the nipple.

"Take care, _meldanya_," Melpomaen breathed, but the leap of his cock belied his
words.

"I will always take care for you," Haldir told him, continuing the motion of both
hands. "Does this not feel good?"

"Almost too good," was the response, and Haldir slowed his tempo.

"I would do anything to make you happy, love," he spoke into the dark hair that
flowed down before him. "Anything."

"Take me then, Dír. Make me yours." Melpomaen leaned forward, bringing Haldir
with him as he came to his hands and knees.

"Not that, not yet," and Haldir slipped through his legs to rest underneath him.
He took his lover's hard organ into his mouth, relaxing his throat to envelop him
as fully as possible. He used his tongue to stimulate Melpomaen even further,
engulfing him with his own warm moisture.

Melpomaen bit his lip and clenched his hands into the blanket to hold back from
reaching his climax right then. He drew Haldir's face gently away, saying, "If
you continue that, I will spend now."

Haldir paused long enough to reply, "I want you to. I want to taste you on my
lips and share that with you."

That idea excited Melpomaen, and as the gentle suction resumed, he let himself
thrust deeply into Haldir's mouth, crying out with each motion, until at last he
emptied his seed between his lover's eager lips. The flavor of it was acrid and
salt on Haldir's tongue. He moved backward slightly and drew Melpomaen's hips
down until they touched his own and he was able to kiss him, sharing the tangy
moisture.

When they broke from that kiss, Haldir said, "That taste reminds me of how it is
between us two: desirable and yet bitter, for all that cannot be."

Melpomaen looked into his eyes. "Let us not dwell on our troubles more tonight.
For now we are here, together. Come now inside me and forget the future; we know
not what yet might happen." He reached for the oil he had earlier set aside.

Haldir took the flask from him and poured a bit into his hand, spreading the
fluid first on himself and then anointing Melpomaen's inviting aperture.
Carefully restoppering the flask, he drew Melpomaen down to him and rolled them
both over until the other lay underneath, smiling up at him in anticipation. He
nudged Melpomaen's legs apart and upward, exposing him fully, then sank into him,
leaning over to plunder his mouth.

Together they groaned at the delicious sensation and Haldir began to work himself
in and out. With each thrust he enjoyed the tightness that embraced him. He
shifted angles slightly until the ragged sound from Melpomaen's throat told him
that he had found the most sensitive spot, then plunged more deeply as his
lover's hips rose up to meet him.

Their earlier bout of lovemaking had taken the sharp edge from his need, and
Haldir was able to restrain his passion from reaching its peak until the
stimulation inside and out brought Melpomaen to a final erection as well.

"Ah, by the stars, Dír," he gasped. "You see what your love does to me?"

Haldir smiled to know the ecstasy he had caused. "And only you," he said
throatily. "Now?"

"Yes, now!"

"Oh, Maen," he cried, and with a last shuddering thrust they climaxed as one.

"We will always be together, somehow," Haldir promised as they lay entangled in
each other's arms, delightfully weary. "I vow that to you."

Melpomaen kissed him on the shoulder. "I believe you, _meldanya_. Somehow." But
he did not yet speak all he thought: that if it would be impossible to indulge in
such expressions of their love while rangers in Lórien, then they must take a
different path.

*******

Footnotes:
Footnotes:</b>
(1) "My beloved." This word is in fact Quenya, and the Elves of Lórien speak
Sindarin, of course, but I speculate that the term might have been adopted,
rather like "petit chou" being used in English.
(2) Yes, this is a paraphrase of Ruth 1:16-17. If that bothers you, I am
surprised that you are reading this fic.

***************

Chapter 7. A Night Disturbed

After a few moments Melpomaen stirred and sat up, then rose fluidly and reached
down to pull Haldir to his feet as well.

"Come, we should wash and then set up camp properly. I think it is your turn to
prepare supper, is it not?"

Grumbling slightly, Haldir admitted the fact. He had proved less apt at cooking
than Melpomaen, but was unwilling to shirk his share of the duty. They had
established a routine that said that the one who cooked did not have to gather
wood for that night's fire, nor carry water as needed.

"Will you take the first watch as usual, Maen?" he asked.

The younger Elf nodded. "Of course."

They had failed to set a watch their first night out from Dale, but prudence
dictated that they should not share a bedroll on subsequent evenings, lest some
beast or Orc attack while neither was awake. Haldir had pointed out that once
back in Lothlórien, they might be able to indulge in that much, at least while in
the camp. They had always shared a _talan_ and on chill nights sharing body
warmth would be unremarkable even if they had an unexpected visitor.

Walking the few yards to the stream, they took turns gently sluicing each other,
rinsing off the evidence of their loving exertions with the sun-warmed water in
the shallows.

Haldir shook his golden hair back from his face. "If you'll bring me some wood,
I'll begin getting the meal."

Melpomaen kissed him on the cheek, saying, "Certainly. I'm rather hungry, myself,
though we didn't walk so very far today."

That elicited a snort from Haldir. "And whose fault is _that_, both the short
journey and the cause of your hunger? Oh, go on and fetch the wood." 

He marched back to the blankets and began by laying them out afresh, then dug a
shallow pit for the fire. Rummaging through their packs, he pulled out a
selection of dried vegetables and meats with which to make a soup, and a cake or
two of _cram_ to supplement it. Some slices of dried apple and pear he put to
soak for the morning meal.

By the time Melpomaen returned with a second armful of wood, Haldir had coaxed
the flames to flaring life and had set the stew pot on one side to simmer. He
looked up at his partner.

"What think you we should do while we wait for our meal to cook?"

"Arms practice, I think. Would you rather do some unarmed combat, or swordplay,
or would you shoot at targets? For any of them we will have to go back into the
meadow, out from under these trees. Is the fire all right to leave?" said
Melpomaen.

Haldir gauged the pile of burning wood. "Let me add a few more good-sized sticks
and wait until they catch. Then we can go. I think I would like to do some
unarmed practice; having stopped early today I feel fresh enough for something
strenuous."

A short while later they stood facing each other amid the knee-high tawny
grasses. Haldir led off with a series of kicks and lunges that, had they not been
performed for practice only, would likely have left Melpomaen crippled. But this
exercise was not intended to do any real harm, and with Haldir holding back the
full force of his movements, Melpomaen was able to counter them with some ease.
He lacked the skill of long years of practice that his partner possessed, but
enjoyed the challenge of learning this art. Lórindol had often stressed to his
men the importance of being able to fight unarmed, should ill-chance befall any
of them.

Distracted by the thought of the captain and their inevitable return to the
rangers' company, he failed to block a blow aimed at his face. Only Haldir's
quick realization that Melpomaen had lost concentration saved the latter from
being severely bruised or worse. As it was the sound of the contact startled a
nearby squirrel, which leaped for the closest tree and began a chittering
scolding from the safety of a low branch.

"Are you all right?" asked Haldir with concern.

"I am fine, Dír. I'm sorry, I wasn't paying proper attention. Shall we continue?
Truly, I am not injured, just well woken up again," Melpomaen said in
embarrassment at his lapse.

"Very well, then. When you're ready," said Haldir, crouching slightly with his
weight on the balls of his feet, alert to whatever move his partner might try
next.

They sparred inconclusively for some little time, their motions growing smoother
and more rapid as each relaxed into the rhythm of the exercise. Melpomaen at last
attempted an especially challenging lunge maneuver, only to find that he had been
anticipated. He ended up flat on his back with Haldir kneeling above him,
laughing softly at the surprise on his face.

"Enough, now," Haldir said, rising. "I would like to finish with some poses to
practice balance. Do you wish to join me?"

"I'll just watch you for now. I prefer to do some of that while I'm taking my
turn at watch; it helps me stay more alert and focused," said Melpomaen, tilting
his head lazily to avoid the low rays of the sun through the grass. He admired
Haldir's well-knit form as the other moved with elegant grace from one position
to the next, some of them extremely difficult to maintain. Yet Haldir made it all
seem easy - if one failed to notice the tension of the muscles under his smooth
skin.

"I am ready for that soup you concocted, if you think it has cooked long
enough," announced Melpomaen as Haldir subsided into stillness, standing erect
with his face towards the west, catching the red gleam of the sinking sun.

"What? Oh, yes, certainly," said Haldir, drawing his attention back from his
inward focus. He held his hand out to the reclining Melpomaen. "Get up then,
Maen. I think we will need more wood tonight too; you had better collect some
before it is too dark to see."

Melpomaen jokingly put out his tongue at his partner, then said, "All right. You
finish getting dinner and I'll be there soon."

He struck off to make a wide circle through the wooded strip to the stream, then
back in the other direction, getting a sense of the land as he picked up
convenient fallen branches. There seemed to be nothing out of the ordinary in
this place; they were still a few days from Mirkwood, where they would have to
take greater care each evening and even while they walked in the daytime.

When he returned to the camp, twilight had settled over the trees. Haldir was
seated cross-legged near the fire, rebraiding his hair which had loosened during
their practice. He looked up as Melpomaen stepped into the light.

"Thank you for bringing the wood," he said.

He reached over to ladle soup into their bowls, and handed Melpomaen one along
with a piece of _cram_.

Melpomaen sat down next to his lover. They leaned together companionably as they
ate, enjoying the feel of the breeze as the air slowly cooled from the warmth of
the day.

Setting aside his empty bowl, Melpomaen closed his eyes and stretched, thrusting
his hands behind him. The temptation was too much for Haldir, who gently poked
him in the belly.

He doubled over involuntarily and came up spluttering in mock indignation. He
reached over to reciprocate, but Haldir was too quick and rolled away, then came
back while Melpomaen was still off-balance and hugged him tightly.

"Couldn't resist, _meldanya_," he whispered in Melpomaen's ear. "I'll make it up
to you, though. I'll braid your hair before I take my rest, shall I? I never
finished the task earlier."

"How could I decline such an offer? Especially from you. Your tight - braids -
are the admiration of the whole company," Melpomaen teased, his gaze lingering
rather lower than Haldir's head.

Haldir pushed him playfully and brought out the wooden comb he had been using.
Carefully he disentangled each dark lock, using his fingers as well as the comb
to smooth and separate the fine strands. When all was done, Melpomaen's hair was
like a sheet of black silk flowing over his shoulders and down his back. Haldir
trembled slightly as he gathered it in his hands and began to divide it neatly
for plaiting. Rather than the usual braid at each temple, he decided to make a
single tight queue at the nape of the neck.

He was tempted to kiss the pale skin there, but restrained himself, and instead
said aloud, "Tell me if I pull too hard."

"Not at all," murmured Melpomaen, who had closed his eyes. "It feels wonderful."

"Good," said Haldir, and used a leather thong to bind the braid. He shifted to
Melpomaen's left side, and when the younger Elf turned his head to look, his eyes
opening, he kissed him firmly but briefly on the mouth.

"All right, then?" he said, and smiled.

Melpomaen grinned in return. "Yes."

He stood up and added, "Varda's stars shine brightly tonight, I think. Take your
rest and I will keep watch."

Haldir shook his head. "Let us tidy up the camp first; if we do not wash up the
bowls now, at least let me get them out of the way."

"I'll do that," said Melpomaen. He reached down and traced a caressing finger
along Haldir's jawline. "You prepared the meal; I will take care of the rest of
it."

"If you wish," Haldir acquiesced, and lay down, pulling the blanket over himself
and curling up so that he could watch Melpomaen's slender form silhouetted
against the flickering light of the flames as his partner gathered up the
remnants of the meal. Gradually his eyes fluttered closed as he allowed his mind
to drift off into pleasant dreams.

Melpomaen finished putting their things in order and straightened up, his hand
going automatically to make sure that his swordbelt was in place and his sword
was loose in its sheath. He hesitated over whether to carry his bow with him; in
the woods, in the dark, he would likely not need it. But he intended to go back
to the meadow for a time. He shrugged and brought the weapon.

This early in the night, with the fire still burning, it was safe to leave Haldir
and walk further out. Melpomaen passed quietly among the trees and out to where
he could see the great canopy of stars overhead.

Leaning his weapons against a handy ash, he began moving through a series of
poses similar to those that Haldir had performed that afternoon. He did not
attempt the most difficult ones; he preferred to hold each position for the
longest time possible, finding challenge enough in pushing his limits in that
fashion. Moreover he could then spare more attention to the sounds and scents of
the night around him, both for its beauty and to stay aware of any potential
dangers.

When he felt he had practiced enough, Melpomaen retrieved his weapons and began a
wide circuit around the camp, pausing frequently to let all of his senses absorb
his surroundings. Nothing untoward seemed likely to occur this night. He returned
to the fire, which by now had dwindled to glowing embers, and added several
branches, blowing on the coals until flame licked along the fresh wood.

He sat then with his back against the great oak that overspread the place,
watchful, yet with enough ease that he could turn his mind to more than just
their safety.

This journey had produced more than enough surprises to amply occupy his
thoughts. Melpomaen mused for awhile on the strangeness of the city of Men, but
that was as nothing compared with the surprise of Haldir's passion, and his
realization that he felt the same way.

The separation between emotion and its expression that the _lembas_ created, he
realized, might have profound and yet differing effects on them both. Haldir had
recognized his own feelings for Melpomaen immediately, but had felt no physical
desire,
his partner for some years. Melpomaen, however, had come to understand that he
loved Haldir at the same time as he had awoken to the hungers of the body, and he
found it difficult to disentangle the two feelings.

Even now, as he looked over at his lover's sleeping form, he felt a stirring in
his own body at the memory of their passion. He pushed his hand against himself,
as if to repress the response, but the warmth of his palm through the material
only stimulated him further. Sighing, he gave in to his impulse and began to
slowly draw his fingertips along the hardening bulge at his groin, imagining that
it was Haldir there, stroking him.

As his organ swelled under his touch, the tight cloth that bound it became almost
painfully constricting. He paused to consider. He had to remain ready to cope
with any possible threat. In the end he unlaced his leggings and removed them
entirely, rather than risk having them tangled around his ankles at an awkward
moment.

Freed, he returned to kneeling, his buttocks resting on his ankles, his still-
clothed back leaning against the rough bark of the trunk. His right hand grazed
his bared hip and glided down across the base of the belly to wrap around his
pulsing member. He pulled at it gently, thumb sliding across the loose skin that
covered the head, and quivered as cool air touched the newly exposed flesh.
Gradually he set up a rhythmical motion, rocking back and forth as his hand slid
up and down his shaft.

He pushed his thoughts out toward Haldir, wishing that the other were there,
sharing this pleasure with him. Imagining that he was kissed by his sleeping
lover, Melpomaen's lips parted, and he breathed more quickly as he neared climax.
His hips thrust upward as the hot fluid jetted from him, spilling over his hand.
He relaxed then into the embrace of the tree for a moment. It had not been so
gratifying an experience as making love with his partner, but it relieved the
tension of thinking how soon the chance for such passion would end.

Melpomaen picked up his leggings and went to the stream to rinse away the
stickiness of his release before donning them again. When he returned again to
the circle of the firelight, Haldir's blankets were empty.

Worried, he looked around. He barely heard the footstep before strong arms seized
him from behind.

"I saw you," breathed Haldir in his ear. Knowing fingers undid the fastenings of
his clothing and tossed it aside. "You would not believe how that made me feel,
Maen, to watch you."

"I wanted you there with me, but did not want to wake you," responded Melpomaen
as Haldir laid him down.

Haldir's eyes were dark with desire. "No? We have so little time, _meldanya_. So
little time to be together. Do not hold back from me now."

He had removed his own clothing before Melpomaen had returned from the stream,
and now stretched himself alongside the younger Elf, bare skin against skin for
the full length of their bodies, his stiff erection pressing insistently between
Melpomaen's thighs.

"I would not, never," promised Melpomaen, legs parting to let Haldir nestle
closer into his body, feeling the heat move from his lover to warm his own blood
again.

"Good," growled Haldir, pinning his arms to the ground and seizing his mouth with
his own. A moist tongue thrust past Melpomaen's lips, seeking to taste the honey
of the recesses there.

Melpomaen yielded willingly to this new side of his lover. Demanding caresses
tantalized him with the promise that the strength and force of Haldir's need for
him would never cease.

Haldir's craving for Melpomaen was so urgent he could scarcely hold back long
enough to press oil into the waiting tightness below to smooth his way. A cry
tore from his lips as he entered and was eagerly embraced. He slid in as far as
he could, luxuriating in the feel of the snug sheath that enveloped his hard
cock, withdrawing partway only to push even more insistently into Melpomaen's
body, caressing the sensitive spot within with his own member.

He shouted hoarsely as Melpomaen clamped down on him, pulling his sweat-slicked
torso down to press against his chest as well.

"Ah, Dír, yes, come into me, love, take me, now, yes," the frenzied stream of
sounds that Melpomaen made encouraged Haldir to thrust again and again, harder,
until he could bear no more and with a loud groan exploded into orgasm, his final
push sealing them together.

Haldir blinked away the tears that had risen unbidden to his eyes from the
intensity of his emotion.

"I would not have you seek any other pleasure while I am here, Maen, nor feel
that my love cannot satisfy you," he whispered.

Melpomaen wrapped his arms around Haldir and cradled him. "Think not that you do
not satisfy me, _meldanya_. In bringing my own release I sought only to let you
rest, that is all. I would not have you believe otherwise."

Haldir nodded. "I believe you." He smiled against Melpomaen's chest. "Now that I
understand your purpose, may I say that watching you greatly pleasured me?
Perhaps I should do the same for you, sometime."

A low chuckle was his response. Melpomaen smoothed the golden hair back from
Haldir's face. "Have you rested enough, then? Do you wish to take over the watch,
or not yet?"

"Finish your turn; just do not tempt me again tonight to leave the paths of
dreams!" said Haldir.

"I will not tempt you with that, love," Melpomaen said. "But there will be many
occasions for temptation on this journey, I think." Indeed, one possibility had
been steadily growing in his mind over the past day or so. But he was not yet
ready to speak of it to Haldir. He would wait.

***************

Chapter 8. Feathers and Confessions

Melpomaen gently reawakened Haldir once the middle of the night had arrived.

"There has been nothing amiss, so far as I have seen or heard," he said. "But the
night grows surprisingly chill for the season. I found I had to put on my cloak."

Haldir embraced his friend. "Too bad we cannot both sleep at once, and share our
warmth! But I have left the blankets warmed for you."

The younger Elf nodded, removing his shoes and slipping into the place Haldir had
just left. "A benefit of taking the first watch, that. I trust yours will be as
uneventful as mine."

"Uneventful, yes," said Haldir, raising his eyebrows, "If you discount our little
interlude."

Melpomaen blushed, glad that the dim light would not reveal his embarrassment.
"Well, there is that. You know what I meant."

"I know." Haldir smiled to himself in the dark. "Rest well, Maen. Until the
dawn."

As Melpomaen nestled down into the blankets and drifted into the world of dreams,
Haldir began to walk around the camp, letting himself gradually awaken to full
alertness before he moved out of the circle of the firelight. He would not go far
- with just the two of them it would be unwise - but he wanted to get a sense for
this little wood at night, so different from distant Lothlórien.

The wood, which was hardly more than a large copse, was mostly of ash and alder,
with an occasional oak such as the large one under which Melpomaen had chosen to
situate their camp. Hazel and blackthorn scrub seemed to comprise most of the
undergrowth, though here and there, where a tree had died or fallen, grass and
other tender plants flourished in the sunlight.

Haldir deftly avoided walking into a prickly tangle of blackthorn as he wandered.
He bent to finger one of the sloes, but the frosts of autumn were still to come
and the fruit was not yet ripe. He missed the great silver trunks and golden
leaves of the great _mellyrn_ of his home, familiar and yet always beautiful, and
the tiny yellow _elanor_ that starred the grasses there.

Sighing, he returned to the fire and settled down to keep watch, wrapping himself
well in his cloak, for Melpomaen had said no more than the truth when reporting
that the air had become cool. He yearned to return home, and yet wished to
prolong this journey as much as possible. Duty and honor drew him on; love held
him back. The warring obligations seemed irreconcilable to him. He frowned and
rubbed at his temples, wishing that there were some solution that could relieve
him from necessity - but there was none he could see.

The rest of the night passed without incident. At dawn Haldir nudged Melpomaen
awake, and they broke fast with _cram_ and the fruit that Haldir had prepared the
evening before.

Covering over the fire pit carefully with dirt and making certain that all their
belongings were safely stowed in their packs, less than an hour after the sun
rose they were once again headed south. The little wood in which they had stopped
was an outlier of the great forest of Mirkwood; soon they would reach the Men-i-
Naugrim, the old forest road of the Dwarves, and leave the River Celduin behind
to travel west on that dim path.

Haldir tugged at Melpomaen's arm to draw him to a halt. "Look." He pointed. Ahead
a flock of six swans rose from the river, their wings cutting gracefully through
the sky, and turned to wing their way south.

The two Elves watched as the great white birds disappeared into the cloudy
morning.

"I wonder," said Haldir thoughtfully. "If they nested here, and were not simply
stopping on their journey to warmer lands... Wait here a moment." He darted off
among the reeds clumped along the shore. Melpomaen heard him give a cry of
triumph.

"Come, Maen! We are in luck, for this was indeed their summer home. There is a
treasure of feathers here."

The dark Elf turned and picked his way through to the swampy river's edge. Haldir
was riffling his hands through the downy quills that lined the great mounded
nest, pulling out those that were most perfect. Melpomaen smiled at his friend's
excitement.

"What use are they, though, to us?" he asked, stepping to Haldir's side.

"Why, none at present, I suppose. But they would make excellent gifts for my
mother and cousins - the women like to use such things to adorn their festival
garb. And they make a pretty writing-pen, though a crow feather better holds the
ink, I understand. Feathers are light to carry; I would take the best of them
with us. It will not take long to choose some," said Haldir.

"If you wish," agreed Melpomaen. "They certainly will not add to our burden,
which gets lighter daily in any case. Think you that we will be able to travel
through the forest with the supplies we now have?"

Haldir looked up, his hands slowing from their careful sorting through the downy
pile.

"No," he answered consideringly, "I think we shall have to hunt ere we reach the
western border. There is game, we know that, but we will want to be wary in
hunting and stay near to the road."

Melpomaen nodded. "Agreed. Have you found enough to your liking?" he added,
gesturing at the little heap of feathers Haldir had set to one side.

"Nearly. One or two more," and Haldir delved into the last unexplored quarter of
the nest, pulling out a final beautiful plume and holding it up.

"In fact, I may keep one for myself," he said, a slight smile on his face. "But
that will do. Just let me tuck them all away here in my pack."

"Do. My feet are getting damp!" complained Melpomaen good-naturedly. "Why could
you not have chosen to hunt feathers in a tree, rather than along the river?"

Haldir dug an elbow into his ribs. "Why, because I wanted to hear you grumble at
me, of course. All right. Back to the trail with us."

They marched steadily on for the rest of the morning. The clouds grew thicker,
and a light rain began to patter down as they paused at midday for a bite of
_cram_.

"If we make good time this afternoon, we should reach the edge of Mirkwood today,
I think," remarked Melpomaen. "I'll be glad to be back under the trees,
especially if this rain does not stop."

"So will I," said Haldir. "I enjoy walking in the rain, usually, but it is
unquestionably less pleasant to set up camp in the open than in the woods, when
it is raining."

They walked on. By good fortune, about mid-afternoon the rain began to slacken
and the clouds to roll away. Glimpsing the sun, Melpomaen smiled and said
happily, "Even if we do not reach the Dwarf-road by this evening, it seems we
will have a chance to dry out overnight."

Haldir merely nodded. He had grown more and more silent throughout the day,
responding to Melpomaen's sallies only perfunctorily. Now the younger Elf asked
bluntly, "What is bothering you, _meldanya_? Is it the weather? Or did you not
rest well enough last night?"

"Neither. The rain seems to have ended, and I am no mortal Man who must have
eight hours of sound sleep or wake unrefreshed. No, Maen. I worry what will
become of us, of you and me. This is no easy problem to solve with a moment's
thought; you know that as well as I," he said.

Melpomaen sighed. "I know. I had never given such a possibility even the
slightest thought, before, so I never considered how it might be. Why must it be
thought such a bad thing, that two _binn_ should love each other, even though the
usual course is for a _benn_ and a _bess_ to love and wed?" (1)

"I was taught that it is because our first fathers, awakening beside the starlit
waters of Cuiviénen, had each beside him the _bess_ with whom he was to join, and
that this meant that for each _benn_ born after, there was one _bess_ meant to be
his mate; anything else was thus unnatural and due to the corruptions of
Morgoth," said Haldir. "When I was a youth, I worried greatly about it, for I did
not meet any _bess_ whom I could love, and I was ashamed that there must be some
contamination inborn that prevented this in me. And more so when I realized that
I had greater feelings towards other _binn_ than to _biss_. I never truly fell in
love with any, till I first saw you, _meldanya_, but I knew where my emotions
were likely to tend."

"How, then, were you able to overcome that shame? For surely you did, and before
we ever met, or your own sense of dishonor would have kept you from ever
speaking? How did you know that there could be true love between _binn_, given
the jokes and the sniggering comments we all heard as children? For me, perhaps,
it was easier, since I believed until you showed me otherwise that I did love a
_bess_, Caranfíniel who rejected me," said Melpomaen.

Haldir flushed. "It is something that I would rather not talk about as we walk,"
he said. "Wait until we stop for the night, and then I will tell you. I see the
eaves of the wood draw near; another hour or two of walking and we will reach
them, and set up our camp, and then I will speak further of this." 

Melpomaen could hardly dispute his lover's decision on the matter, though his
curiosity was great. But he was glad that Haldir did not refuse to speak
altogether.

It was nearly dusk when they finally stopped. Tonight was Melpomaen's turn to
prepare the meal, and he set to it willingly to hasten Haldir's recital, while
the older Elf gathered a substantial stack of wood to last them through the
night.

"We'll probably want to do as we did on the outward journey, and travel by day
through the forest as we have been doing since Dale," Haldir said. "But it might
be a good idea to hunt tomorrow, and not enter the wood until the next day, when
we should be better supplied."

"Yes, certainly," said Melpomaen impatiently. "Our meal for tonight is cooking
but will take some time yet to be ready. Please, Dír. Tell me how you came to
decide that you were no thrall to Morgoth by your very nature."

Haldir sat down on the edge of the blankets. Looking down, he began to toy with
the point of his knife-blade, drawing it along the tips of his fingers, as he
spoke.

"I was wandering about, not far from Cerin Amroth in fact, simply enjoying the
wood and some time alone. I had but recently joined the rangers, and this was, I
think, my second time of leave from my company. I did not know the land
thereabout well, but had found a pleasant little stream and a tiny waterfall that
tumbled over a rocky shelf to join it, perhaps twice my height, and was exploring
along it. I had just realized that I could go no further without climbing up the
rock, and was turning back when I saw that someone else had come to this solitary
spot. Two others, in fact. I would have simply greeted them and gone my way, but
by the time I saw them they had already begun to disrobe, and I saw that it was
two _binn_ who were there. I could not get past them without being noticed and
causing everyone great distress, so I decided I would have to wait for them to
leave."

He took a breath and continued. "I did not want to see what they were doing;
something shameful, I was certain. But - and I cannot entirely regret it, though
it was dishonorable of me - curiosity finally overcame me, and I looked."

"One of them I recognized, a slight acquaintance, someone who dwelt near my
parents in Caras Galadhon; he had no spouse. The other I did not know. The
details of what they were doing are unimportant, and I have tried to forget most
of them, to belatedly grant the couple their privacy, but one thing was clear to
me, simply from how they behaved toward each other. This was no simple rutting
like animals, as I had always thought such a thing must be. No, they clearly felt
the same bond, the same kind of union, that I had only ever seen before in wedded
couples. They were tender, they were joyful in their mutual love. This could be
nothing to do with the evil of Morgoth and the marring of Arda; such exaltation
of the spirit could only come from Eru Ilúvatar himself. Eventually they ended
their tryst, and then departed. I do not believe either ever realized I was
there; certainly they gave no sign of thinking themselves observed."

Melpomaen stirred, and laid a hand on Haldir's knee.

Haldir went on, "But having seen them, I realized that what I had been taught, I
could no longer believe. I cannot quite make myself feel that it is entirely
good, that I should love another _benn_; for one thing, such a couple as we
cannot have children, we cannot contribute to the continuation of our people in
that way. But far better this than to be solitary for all our lives, I think. So
eventually and after much thought I accepted that if this is to be my fate, I
should embrace it and live as fully as I can within it."

At last he looked up at his lover, his voice thick. "And so I shall. But we
cannot change how all our people think, and that is what will hurt us."

Tears were running down Melpomaen's cheeks, and he reached to embrace Haldir, who
leaned into him.

"It will never be easy, will it? But I am glad, so very glad, that you told me
that," Melpomaen. He felt Haldir's chest heave, and the other Elf began to weep
as well. Melpomaen tightened his hold with one arm, rubbing the other hand in
easy circles on Haldir's back, murmuring all the words of comfort he could
remember.

At last his tears slowed, and stopped, and Haldir looked up.

"I'm sorry. I never spoke of this before, of course; I did not realize how
greatly it affected me." He drew his hand across his face, wiping away the
wetness there.

Melpomaen used one finger under Haldir's chin to draw his face close, and kissed
him in benediction. "You need not apologize, _meldanya_. For anything."

Haldir managed a crooked smile. "And now I am starving. Do you think the soup is
done?"

Melpomaen chuckled at the practical question. "Probably, yes. If you are all
right now? The soup can wait, otherwise."

"No, I really am hungry." Haldir drew himself up to sit cross-legged again. "We
shall have to continue with this talk at some time, but not just now. I cannot
speak any more about it now."

"No, I see that," Melpomaen said soothingly, handing Haldir his share of the
meal. "Here, you will feel better after you have eaten something, I'm sure."

Haldir dipped his _cram_ in the broth and nibbled on it. "I do not know how you
do it, Maen. We have the same ingredients to work with, and yet it always tastes
better when you cook than when I do."

Melpomaen smiled, glad to see that Haldir seemed to be recovering his
equilibrium. "Natural talent, I suppose," he jested.

That brought a wry laugh from Haldir. "That must be it. An Elf of many talents,
you are."

"Indeed I am, as you know. But talents, like swords, grow rusty if they are not
honed regularly. After the meal I think we should exercise our talents together?"

Haldir raised an eyebrow. "If you mean what I presume you mean, then yes. But I
would like to try my abilities first... I had something in mind, this morning,
before less pleasant thoughts crowded it out."

"I shall be at your command." Melpomaen flourished his hand and pretended to bow
low, something impossible to do properly while seated.

His hand was taken by Haldir, who pressed it to his lips and said, "Ah, Maen. If
I had not already loved you, I would now. Just to be near you cheers me."

Melpomaen used a finger to trace the outline of Haldir's mouth. "I am glad of
that, Dír."

The finger was drawn inside and Melpomaen felt a pulse of heat in his groin as
Haldir circled it with his tongue, then relinquished it to the cool evening air.

"Finish your supper, first," chided Haldir, and bent to his own bowl. He had not
exaggerated his hunger; not the day's long walk, but the strain of his confession
had drained his energy.

"With a promise such as you make me, I might well emulate a greedy child and
gobble down my food. But I will not. There would be no purpose in finishing
before you, after all," said Melpomaen, who nonetheless ate with a certain
alacrity, and had polished his bowl to shining before the other was through.

Standing up, he began to clear away the meal preparations, holding up his hand to
stifle Haldir's protests.

"I know, you are going to say that since I cooked, you should do the rest. And so
you should, usually. Not tonight. I want to do this for you, love; there is so
little else I will be able to do," he finished with a touch of bitterness in his
voice, a note that Haldir comprehended fully.

By the time Haldir had finished eating, Melpomaen had put away all traces of the
meal except for the bowl and spoon his partner had used.

"Now, then," he said, taking those and setting them aside, "what do you will of
me?"

"Only that you follow where I lead; and tell me if my path is not one you wish to
take. But to begin with, stand here beside me," said Haldir.

They kissed lingeringly, hands threaded through each other's hair, tongues
exploring and wordlessly sharing their love. Haldir moved one hand down
Melpomaen's back to draw the other closer to him, feeling the play of muscles
under the skin as he shifted his weight, one foot between Haldir's legs, their
hips interlocking. Now Melpomaen reached to hold Haldir around the waist, leaning
back slightly as he tilted his head to let Haldir move from lips to cheek to
neck, lapping there at the sensitive skin in the hollow of his throat.

"Hmm," he sighed, closing his eyes to the sight of the red firelight to focus on
the waves beating through his body. Now Haldir had relinquished his hold and was
moving around, lifting up Melpomaen's dark hair to tease the back of his neck
with light kisses, running one finger around his ear and down his throat.

"Stay as you are," came the whispered command, and Melpomaen waited patiently to
see what Haldir would think to do next. The answer came with the touch of cloth
on his face.

"When you did this to me, it made the moment more memorable," Haldir said,
knotting the fabric firmly behind Melpomaen's head. "Now I will show you what it
is like; to be cut off from one sense only heightens the others."

Melpomaen swayed a little, standing blindfolded and alone. He heard cloth
rustling and supposed that Haldir was removing his own clothes. Then Haldir's
hands were upon him again, slowly unfastening ties and pulling out laces, lifting
one foot and then the other to remove his shoes, and again as his leggings were
tugged down. Melpomaen shivered as the cooling night air struck his bare skin.

"Cold?"

"A little," admitted Melpomaen.

"Then come here nearer the fire," and Haldir led him by the hand, urging him to
the blankets laid close to the blaze. Gentle pressure on his shoulders brought
him to kneel, then to lie prone, head turned toward the light he could not see.
His arms rested by his sides, legs extended and slightly parted.

Haldir knelt away from the fire. He had removed only his tunic and shoes, as yet.
The sight of his lover stretched out waiting for him made him catch his breath,
and he reached for self-control. A smile quirked his mouth as he drew out one of
the feathers he had so carefully collected that morning, and began to brush it
lightly across Melpomaen's body: along his legs, arms, back, neck, even between
his thighs.

Melpomaen quivered under the teasing touch, his skin rising up in gooseflesh at
the unpredictable movements. After a few moments he could bear it no longer and
laughed out loud.

"I am sorry, Haldir," he gasped. "That _tickles_!"

"Well, since I was bringing up such gloomy ideas earlier, I hoped to make you
laugh with this," Haldir told him. "But I hope it feels good as well?"

"Yes," Melpomaen assured him. "Just... strange."

"That is all right, then." He continued, stroking the swan feather along the
other Elf's spine, down the inviting crack, then back up to the shoulders. After
a time he laid the feather aside carefully and began to use his own fingers
instead, at first with a light touch, but gradually more firmly.

Melpomaen could hardly tell when the change occurred; though it was true, as
Haldir had said, that the lack of sight made every other sense more alert. He
could smell the still-damp leaves and grasses around, the smoke of the fire, a
lingering wisp from their meal, the scent of their two bodies. The taste of
Haldir's mouth still persisted. The crackle of the burning logs, the rustle of
the trees, and his partner's breathing filled his ears; he could even hear the
subtle squeak of his own joints whenever he moved slightly. But most of all it
was the touches on his bared skin that occupied his attention. As Haldir began to
knead his muscles with fingertip and knuckle, he gave himself up completely to
the sensual pleasure of it.

For his part, Haldir enjoyed the idea that Melpomaen was entirely focused on him;
having experienced the blindfold himself once, he knew what it would be like for
the other.

He began to speak softly as he continued to stroke and massage his lover, from
ankle to neck.

"You said earlier that you were glad I had spoken of how I found out that two
_binn_ might love truly. But you must know I was afraid to explain, because the
way I did so was not with honor. And it was an overwhelming experience;
everything that I had once believed of myself was suddenly turned upside down,
and I no longer felt that anything in this world was secure and safe."

"I know," murmured Melpomaen. "I understood that."

"And so many years later, when I had despaired that I would never find anyone,
neither _benn_ nor _bess_, whom I could love, to meet you... and to believe that
you might never return my feelings. It has been like swimming across an unknown
lake, never knowing where there might be a rock unseen below the glittering
surface."

"Mmm," was the reply.

"It is strange to me tha