Title: Red, Ripe Fruits for Legolas 
Series: Prequel to All About You/Burning to Shadow (should still be read as 
number three).
Author: Camilla
E-mail: verdandeurdarbrunn@hotmail.com
Rating:NC-17
Pairing: Haldir/Saelbeth, Legolas/Haldir, Legolas/Saelbeth
Summary: How did a pretty elf like Legolas manage to stay chaste for 500 
years?
Disclaimers: Not mine.
Archive: Lists; yes.
Notes: Set about 450 years before All About You, 50 years after
Legolas left Haldir and Lorien.
- Inspired by the decipher card identifyinng Saelbeth as elf number 2 on
Legolas' right (?) side at the council (in a blueish robe).
Warning: Angst.

- As usual; a big "Thank You" to my beta,  Sue.




I


He was most unexpected, the rider in grey that approached the gates and
entered the heart of Thranduil's Kingdom one warm afternoon near the end of 
summer. The elves gathered by the gate all knew who he was; the sight of the 
proud elf was not unfamiliar. Yet...it had been a while, and they all knew 
something had changed since the last time he had been there. He did no 
longer ride in the company of their prince. And the prince was hurting. They 
all knew that.

The elf in question measured them with cool eyes under half closed lids as 
he rode by. Measured them, and dismissed them. They could all remember a 
time when those same eyes would sparkle with amusement, his lips would be 
curved in a smile, mirroring the Prince's. Back then, the sight of the elf, 
and his companion would fill the air with joy, as if something light and 
merry had entered through the gates. There would be cause for celebration 
for Prince Legolas and his friend had arrived safely in Mirkwood once more.

This time, there was silence, a silence and a disturbance. It stirred in the 
air around him, an edge of something dangerous, something that hadn't been 
there before.
The elf had changed, and so had their prince.

He rode in with the sunlight behind him, the sun was about to set in the 
horizon and it colored the sky a deep coppery shade of gold, like fire.The 
elf did not seem to burn though; his beautiful features were enclosed in a 
mask of apparent tranquility. Apparent coldness. Long hair, so blond that it 
almost turned silver and marble skin that complimented his dark blue eyes. 
An impression of ice complete.

His arrival awoke their curiosity once more; what had happened back then, 
fifty years ago?
Why had the Prince returned from Lorien alone?
What could have happened to make the both of them change so much? To carry 
such scars?
Those two, who hardly took a step without the other following. They were so 
close, it was said, that they would finish sentences for each other...And 
now...silence.

Twenty years ago Legolas had accompanied his father to Lothlorien, they knew 
that too. Many had carried a hope that Legolas and his friend would reunite 
on that trip because the hardening of his soul that had followed their 
separation had been painful to watch. The soft spoken healer, the 
compassionate advisor was slowly turning in to a cold warrior and 
strategist, spending all his time with the bow in his hand. Refusing to let 
anyone in.
They missed him; their kind, beautiful prince.
And his mood *was* somewhat better when he returned. The King's guard told 
the people that Legolas had indeed met with his former companion and spent 
most nights in his talan as before. But the mystery remained unsolved; for 
the prince returned alone and they had not seen his friend again. Not until 
today.

But he was not as they remembered him. Not at all.

"He has always been so closed, but this time I can feel him...He is
grief-stricken, that one..." One of the elves, an elder male said.

"I don't know," a female answered while nervously combing through her braids 
with her fingers. " Something is haunting his soul, I know...But there's 
more to it. There is a pain..."

"Could it be Lorien that you sense?" another male asked, " I felt the
ancient wood around him like a cloak..."

"No," the female said in a low voice. "But I understand what you are saying. 
The magic of Lorien is there as well, stronger than before...almost 
touchable..." she paused and let the braids fall from her fingers, slowly 
she met the male's gaze:
" He has become dangerous." She whispered at last, her
eyes widening in unease.

"Should we warn the king...or the prince?" the first male asked.

The woman closed her eyes and took a deep breath, feeling the air around 
her.

"No," she said at last. " This isn't something we should meddle in. I think 
the danger is more subtle than that...It's all about the matters of the 
heart. The danger lies within..."

"Why does he come now?" The elder male shook his head. " Now that..."

"Hush!" The woman said and lifted a finger to her lips. "That is not our 
concern. Let us just hope that the new light is stronger than the old 
shadows..."

**********

The stranger led his horse across the courtyard towards the stables. If he 
was weary from the travel it didn't show. He moved with an almost feline 
grace, hardly touching the ground. His back was straight, his face 
unreadable. Pride and strength in every move, every gesture.

He ignored the eyes that followed him. Ignored the unspoken whispers that 
accompanied him, the questions that surrounded him like an invisible fog. He 
didn't stop until his path crossed a little elven child playing with some 
sticks on the ground. His eyes widened a little, as if surprised.

He stood and watched the child for a moment. His eyes narrowing as he
watched the child move his sticks around, noticing a white, smooth stick, a 
little longer that the others.

"Who is that?" he asked the boy.

The little boy looked up through strands of blond hair and met the 
stranger’s gaze without hesitation. His eyes were blue as most elven eyes, 
but they held a force, most uncommon for a child. A piercing gaze on a 
small, slim body.

"It is Prince Legolas," replied the child .

For the first time a smile curved the stranger’s lips as he looked down at 
the boy.

"I should have known that," he smiled. "The prettiest one of them all!"

He started to walk, but then he paused once more and pointed at another 
stick. A little smaller than Legolas but just as smooth and beautiful.

"Who is that?" he asked again.

The boy, whose gaze hadn't left the elf for a second answered without
seeing.

"That is Saelbeth, the royal advisor from Rivendell. He is the Prince's 
friend."

The stranger’s brow furrowed.

"So he is, is he?"

"Oh yes..." The boy answered. "And he is very pretty as well. The Prince is 
teaching him how to fight!"

"Really?" The stranger's voice held amusement. "And where does he do that?" 
he asked.

"In the woods," the boy explained. "Behind the buildings."

Without another word the stranger continued and led the horse in to the
stables. A new tenseness was visible in his features for those willing and 
able to see.


*****************


Saelbeth put down the bow and laughed.

"Close, but not there...yet..." Legolas smirked and laughed with his friend. 
" Your skills are good for hunting," he continued. " But it wont get you far 
when comes to orc slaying..."

"I know," the other elf smiled. "I'll never become a warrior I'm afraid..."

Legolas met the other's gaze and held it for a moment. Two pairs of blue 
eyes drowning in each other, speaking of an intimacy, a bond. And something 
else; a fluttering feeling, a tingle in the air. Something green and new, as 
yet unborn.

Unconsciously Legolas parted his lips and moistened them with the tip of his 
tongue. The sight created a warm wave in Saelbeth's body. He lifted his hand 
and took Legolas' hand in his. Marveled at the prince's beauty, the 
sensation of his skin against his own.

Legolas lowered his lids and smiled to his friend, gave his fingers a light 
squeeze but didn't let them go. With the bow in one hand and Saelbeth in the 
other he stood on the green meadow, breathing the sweet air and just enjoyed 
the moment; how right it all seemed. How beautiful...the blue elven eyes in
front of him; so completely without malice. Just filled with pure love and 
concern. A love that Legolas knew he could reach out and have. Wrap himself 
in like a cloak. A love without any complications, just pure,
unconditional love...
It had been a long time since he had trusted someone like this, liked
someone as much...since he had seen someone whose beauty stunned him like 
this. Made him want to reach out and comb through his silken, gold hair with 
his fingers. Made him want to run his hand over the smooth skin of his 
cheek. Taste his lips, touch him...
The shy expectation in the other elf's eyes was what kept him from doing it, 
though. Saelbeth wanted more than Legolas' hands on his body. Expected more 
from a kiss than just a sensuous pleasure. Legolas wanted to give him that, 
he was just not sure if he could...

For five years now, they had been playing this game. It had been five years 
since Saelbeth's arrival in Mirkwood. Five years since they first had became 
friends. The soft spoken advisor came to Thranduil's realm in exchange for 
one of Mirkwood's own, who had gone to Rivendell. Legolas hadn't really seen 
him at first, just noticed that he seemed very young to carry the heavy 
responsibilities as he did, being Rivendell's voice in Mirkwood, helping the 
king with political tactics. Later he would learn that Saelbeth had a 
natural ability for such tasks; being compassionate and understanding and 
with a mind that worked on several levels at the same time; never missing a
single detail. The golden elf with the shy smile had a brilliant mind, that 
was the truth, and Legolas found it strangely ttractive...Saelbeth to him 
was a living contradiction: Inexperienced, yet wise. Intelligent, yet 
shy...And very much in love with Legolas.
Legolas felt honored...Honored and drawn.

Their friendship had started out as a coincidence; a result of matching
habits. They would run into each other in the main hall every night when 
they had their last glass of wine while musing into the fire. Legolas' habit 
for decades, one Saelbeth shared; brought with him from Rivendell.
Instead of seeking solitude elsewhere they had ended up talking to each
other: Legolas remembered that first year as a string of inspiring
conversations that lasted for hours. One single glass of wine that turned 
into a bottle or two as their friendship developed; there, in the main hall 
in front of the fire. He remembered how he grew to respect the other elf, 
appreciate his company; the sound of his laughter, all the stories he 
shared...Saelbeth never forgot anything, he was a walking library, a well of 
knowledge. And he was safe. In Saelbeth's company Legolas felt safe in a new
way; Saelbeth might not be able to aid him if he was attacked, but he would 
never hurt Legolas either. He would always be there for him, take care of 
him. Love him.
And Legolas loved having him there; his presence filled the air around him 
like a mild spring breeze; kindness, goodness and trust was what he brought 
into Legolas' life. Things Legolas desperately needed after his last years 
in Lorien. When he was with Saelbeth, Legolas thought he could feel old 
parts of himself spring back to life, as if he regained something; pieces of 
his heart that he thought he had lost, buried too deep...Saelbeth could be 
the cure, he knew that. Still he waited. Waited to be sure. Perfectly aware 
of Saelbeth's sweet misery, he still couldn't bring himself to take that 
final step. There was always a price to pay for love and Legolas dreaded the 
consequences.
Legolas feared love:
In the beginning he has acted as if he didn't notice the blush on the
other's cheek each time he spoke to him. Pretended not to notice the beauty 
of the other male's smile. Tried to ignore the slight shiver in the other's 
body when he touched him. Saelbeth's innocence, his beautiful nature made it 
impossible in the end...Legolas became too intrigued, too fascinated with 
him not to give in. Give in to the growing intimacy, the secret bond that 
grew between them. The sweet tension building up. Wordless, just there: A 
lingering 'maybe' in the air. A maybe that made the days brighter, sweeter, 
more enjoyable. Made the prince feel alive in a way he hadn't for fifty 
years.

"My Prince! My Prince!" A voice called out, forcing Legolas to return to 
reality.

He turned and saw a young maid come across the green clearing towards them.

"There's a new guest..." she said without breath. "You must come...."

His face darkened a little at first, then widened in a smile. He let go of 
Saelbeth's hand.

"Who is it?" He asked the maid with a smile, already moving across the
meadow. "For me, or for my father?"

"I think it's for you my prince," the maid said, her voice strangely tense 
as she spoke. Legolas didn't seem to notice, just followed her with a light 
step, the beauty of the day still affecting him. It seemed impossible not to 
smile, not to enjoy the feeling of summer, the feeling of the earth. The 
feeling and beauty of Saelbeth and the comfort he found in his company.

Saelbeth grabbed the quiver and followed a little behind them. He
smiled as well. He had known for a long time now that his feelings for 
Legolas had crossed the border between friendship and love and lately he had 
gained some hope that the feelings he had weren’t completely unrequited. It 
made his heart sing. It made all of him sing. It made his days rimmed with 
gold.
Everything from the tingle in his body, to the excitement every time Legolas 
was around, the flush of warmth he experienced every time his eyes met his; 
those beautiful blue orbs, more precious to Saelbeth than any gems, to the 
strong emotions that overwhelmed him when he watched him from afar. It made 
him happy. Made the world new. And he was so beautiful! His wonderful 
prince. Beautiful and strong. Wise and compassionate, how could Saelbeth 
*not* fall for a lovely creature like that? It was impossible. Legolas had 
no flaw in Saelbeth's eyes. He was perfect.

The pair in front of him turned the corner and Saelbeth followed. He could 
see a tall elf, dressed in the colors of Lorien on the other side of the 
courtyard. Still, it took a couple of seconds for Saelbeth to adjust. For 
the fluttering excitement, the warmth in his belly, to turn to cold ice. For 
the joy to transform into a hard knot of uneasy tenseness. It couldn't be 
him? Could it? Saelbeth prayed a silent prayer. Gods, it could not!
Not now!

But of course it could; Legolas, his beloved, was just a wisp of hair in 
front of him as he ran over to greet the stranger. Powerless, Saelbeth could 
only stand there with the bow and quiver in his hands and watch as his 
prince flung his arms around the other male and greeted him with a kiss.
Watch, as the other elf lifted his arms and embraced him, pulled him closer 
and returned the kiss.

He had heard rumors, of course. And dismissed them. Legolas' past was not 
his concern, except for the fact that he had lost something, someone, dear 
to him and Saelbeth dealt with the scars every day. He had seen it as his 
mission to heal him, and had done his best. - And if Legolas would let him, 
he would continue to do so for eternities to come.
He had never asked the prince about his lost companion. Never wanted to know 
what had happened. Maybe, he thought now, he'd been afraid to know. Maybe, 
he didn't want to deal with the thought of Legolas being so close to someone 
else. Now, the past stood in front of him, claiming Saelbeth's prince with 
strong, grey clad arms.
Too close, Saelbeth thought, he's holding him too close...
He drew a deep breath and crossed the yard slowly. Not really sure how to 
behave in the face of this...horror. Not really sure what to expect...
As he approached them he could hear them murmur to each other. Words
obviously not intended for anyone else. Saelbeth felt hopelessly left out.
He just stood there, insecure, waiting to get noticed.
He measured the stranger, had no doubt this was *him*, Haldir of the Golden 
Wood. Who else could it be, who else would Legolas be so...intimate with?
So heartbreakingly happy to see?
He was beautiful, of course. He knew he would be. Tall and broad chested, 
slender limbs wrapped in grey and black clothing. Long, braided hair, almost 
silvery in color. His dark eyes were fixed upon the one in front of him. 
Long black lashes on lowered lids as his gaze disappeared into Legolas'.
His arms never moved from the prince's back. They circled his waist and
rested on the small of his back. Held him firmly against his own body.
Closer, than Saelbeth had ever been to him. He could see the elf smile;
sensuous lips curving in a startling smile; he could see Legolas respond; 
his face crack open and spill light. Light that fell upon this stranger. A 
total affection, as if he were a longed for lover. For all Saelbeth knew, he 
very well might be just that.

Legolas raised his hand to tuck a couple of stray strands of hair behind 
Haldir's ear. The familiarity of the gesture made Saelbeth's gut hurt. The 
knot tighten. It got even worse when Legolas brushed the tip
of the elf's ear in the same movement while he said something in a low,
intimate voice. Something that made the Lorien elf laugh; a soft, sensuous 
chuckle, meant for Legolas only.

At last the stranger lifted his gaze and his eyes fell on Saelbeth.
Curiosity and...surprise spread on his face. Slowly he let the prince go, 
loosened the grip around his torso. He took a few steps forward, passing the 
prince who turned slowly as the other elf passed him, never taking his eyes 
from him.

"Who is this?" the elf asked. "I didn't know you kept such lovely company, 
Legolas..." his voice was dark velvet. Dripping with something...unfamiliar, 
to Saelbeth's ears. It sent shivers down his spine. Made his heart pound a 
little faster.

"This is Saelbeth," Legolas smiled. "My friend," he added.

" Ah..." Haldir said. "The advisor from Rivendell..."

"This is Haldir of Lorien," Legolas said to Saelbeth, "he is a very dear 
friend of mine..." he was still smiling and his beautiful eyes held a light 
Saelbeth had never seen there before. It made his stomach twitch.

"Legolas' friends are my friends..." Haldir said and bowed slightly.

Saelbeth shifted uneasily on the spot. Haldir had moved in while Legolas 
spoke and having him this close was almost unnerving. He had a feel to him, 
this elf. An unquestionable authority, and something else, something 
more...something that lay there as a silent promise in his dark eyes. A 
promise of...Saelbeth didn't know, but it scared him.

He pulled himself together and let out a breath. Gave a slight bow in
return. Managed a smile.

Legolas watched them, still smiling. Then he crossed the distance between 
them, put an arm around Haldir's shoulder and without hesitation one around 
Saelbeth’s too and pulled them both close before leading them towards the 
main doors of the royal palace.

"You must greet my father," he said to Haldir. "Then come to my rooms," he 
continued, " we'll have a grand evening!" His enthusiasm spilled over into 
his voice, it was obvious that Legolas was having a very good day. He turned 
his head; "you must come too," he said to Saelbeth, the smile never leaving 
his lips.

"Don't the two of you want to...be alone tonight?" Saelbeth answered,
surprising himself by making his jealousy so apparent.

Legolas, of course, didn't notice:

"Oh, we'll have lots of time to make up for that lost, wont we, Haldir?"

"Of course," Haldir answered and lifted his hand to squeeze Legolas' palm on 
his shoulder in another intimate gesture that made Saelbeth's heart freeze.


**************

" Haldir of Lorien is back!"

"The March Warden has returned!"

Saelbeth did his best not to listen as the excited whispers seemed to fill 
the castle. Stir the air.

"How does the prince react? Is he happy?"

" As never before, he is blooming!"

Saelbeth leant against the cool stone wall, rested his forehead
against it and closed his eyes. Forced the tears back. All his
hopes were crumbling now, he knew it. All his dreams could very well turn 
out to be just that: Dreams, illusions, mist...

"Looking beautiful as ever," a young elven maid said to another while
passing the hall, none of them even noticed Saelbeth, for which he was
grateful. He knew he should retire to his rooms, stay there until he could 
compose himself. Until he was calm enough to keep the passion inside, calm 
enough to present to the world an illusion of inner peace he did not feel. 
But he was too restless, and too afraid. Afraid that if he took his eyes off 
them for but a moment, the prince would surely be lost. If he wasn't 
already. For what was he, Saelbeth, against this elegant creature? This 
beautiful elf
with eyes like the sea and hair woven of moonlight...

Wise and kind, that's what Legolas told him. Legolas thought Saelbeth was 
wise and kind. The words had flattered him then, when they were spoken. Now 
they seemed empty. Dry like ashes. Nothing, compared to the cold fire in the 
Lorien elf's gaze. Saelbeth wondered what Legolas said to compliment *him*?
It was surely something that held more poetry than his own 'wise and kind'.

Saelbeth almost ground his teeth in frustration. Where was his wisdom when 
he needed it the most? He felt like a foolish child. And somehow, betrayed.
Of course, he'd never known what he was competing against. Who the other 
was.
Legolas probably felt sorry for him, sorry because Saelbeth held these
feelings for him. What a fool he had been to think that he could be loved by 
the prince. It was obvious that he had given his heart away already, wasn't 
it? To this sensuous creature that touched him as if Legolas' body was his 
own. The one that held him with casual familiarity, while Saelbeth had to 
swallow and concentrate on his breathing, in awe every time he touched 
Legolas.
He recalled the way Haldir had greeted King Thranduil, how he had embraced 
the elven king as if it were the most natural thing in the world, while 
Saelbeth, who had served the king for five full cycles now still bowed and 
called him by title. It made him realize how little he mattered, how fooled 
he had been by his own sense of intimacy. He was not at all as close as he 
wanted to be to Legolas and because of him; his family. Haldir was close, 
Haldir was that...family.

He sighed deeply and crossed his arms over his chest. Held himself tight.
The tears seemed to have fled now. He was more in control now, but the ache 
was still there.

He felt a strong urge to see Legolas. He didn't know why, maybe to get some 
kind of reassurance, make Legolas somehow confirm their bond or even better; 
allow him to regain hope.
He didn't know if any of this was possible though, but standing there alone, 
just wondering, he knew for certain was doing him no good at all. If he was 
to have his hopes crushed, better to get it over with.
And maybe...maybe...maybe it wouldn't happen at all.
But his heart felt heavy, his hopes low.

He turned and started to climb the nearest stairs. He knew the way to his 
prince's room so well that he could tell each stone in the walls from each 
other. He cherished these halls and corridors, with their stoned walls and 
wooden carvings that reminded him of Rivendell, simply for taking him to 
*him*. His heart's desire. His first and only love.

When he turned the last corner he saw that Legolas' door wasn't completely 
closed. It disturbed him a little. Legolas liked his privacy. Maybe he 
wasn't there, Saelbeth thought and moved closer. He heard voices. Legolas 
was inside and he should have known he wouldn’t be alone...
His heart sank and he was about to turn and leave when he heard something 
that made him freeze.
-It wasn't possible! It couldn't be!

He heard a startled cry from Legolas followed by a soft chuckle from Haldir:

"Relax," the Lorien elf said. " It won’t hurt if you relax, don't pull away 
from me."

"It hurts!" Legolas replied, but there was no real anger in his voice.

"We have done this before," Haldir breathed. "Trust me wont you? Like you 
used to. Move a little closer...yes, that's right...now relax."

Saelbeth's heart pounded so loud he could hardly hear anything else for a 
while. He forced his breath slowly in and out. Calmed himself by sheer will.

" This is nice isn't it?" he heard Haldir ask from behind the door.

"Yes," Legolas purred with a loud sigh. "This is nice...you don't have to be 
so gentle anymore, I'm used to it now..."

Saelbeth blushed in the hallway. What kind of shamelessness was this? So
eager to taste each other that they couldn’t bother to even shut and lock 
the door? He was too numb to even feel jealous.

A little cry came from Legolas again, it didn't sound like an exclamation of 
pain this time.

"Legolas' sensitive spot," Haldir responded with tenderness in his voice.

"It tickles," legolas giggled.

"I know," Haldir said," And I think you like it..." he teased.

"You know me too well..." Legolas murmured and Saelbeth decided to move, 
silently praying that he hadn’t been noticed. He wanted to get away from 
there as fast and as silently as he could.
Then he heard something that made him freeze again, without having moved a 
step:

"Give me the clasp, will you?"

Clasp? What was this? Some kind of twisted perversion Saelbeth was too
inexperienced to know about?

"Don't pull the braids too high up on my head," Legolas uttered. "It makes 
me look like a maid."

" No it doesn't," Haldir protested. " It makes you look like a very
beautiful, very handsome and very male, elf!"

Legolas laughed and Saelbeth blushed again. This time out of shame. He was 
just braiding his hair for gods sake! Haldir was simply braiding his hair! 
Probably not an easy task considered how sensitive Legolas was when it came 
to his hair.
How could he...jump to conclusions like that? He was clearly not handling 
the situation very well. He felt like yelling at himself for his 
foolishness. Retiring to his room seemed to be the best idea after all. At 
least if he got some time to be alone he would hopefully get hold of his 
emotions and stop seeing demons where there were none.

Still blushing he made his way back down the hall. Tears, this time a
mixture of relief and shame filled his eyes. But the jealousy came sneaking 
back; mingled with the other frustrated emotions: He let Haldir braid his 
hair, it whispered in his head. Legolas didn't let anyone braid his hair!

*************

" So...tell me about him..." Haldir said while finishing off the braid.

They both sat on Legolas' bed, casually with their legs crossed. Legolas had
his back to Haldir who had his hands in Legolas' hair.

"Who?" Legolas asked.

"Saelbeth, of course. Who is he? Is he your lover?"

"Always the subtle one, aren't you Haldir?" Legolas turned his head and
looked at him with eyes that sparkled with humor.

Haldir smirked back but said nothing, still waiting for an answer from the
prince.

"Wouldn't you be able to tell, if he was my lover?" Legolas said at last.

"Perhaps," Haldir said. "But he does love you, you know that..."

"Yes," Legolas answered in a soft, almost sad voice. "I know he does...my
dear Saelbeth." he sighed.

" Do you love *him*?" Haldir asked, his fingers stopped moving in Legolas'
hair while he awaited the answer.

" You know I don't." Legolas answered. " Not like that. Not like I should!"
he added.

"Yes..." Haldir said. "If you loved him he would be here, wouldn't he?
Gracing your bed and your presence..."

"He usually does." Legolas replied. " Not as a lover, but as a friend. My
confidant...We have grown very close," he finished.

"So I can see," Haldir said, his fingers working again, braiding long golden
strands in to shape. " He suits you," he said, "why wont you let yourself
love him?"

Legolas didn't reply at first, then he said,

"It wouldn't be right, would it? When I know he's not the one...that I know 
there
are feelings and emotions that are far stronger than this..."

"Do you?" Haldir's voice held curiosity.

" I can assume..." Legolas replied. "It doesn't feel...enough."

"But you're not sure, are you?"

"No," Legolas smiled. "I'm still working it out..."

"Do you want him?" Haldir changed direction, "for your pleasure...?"

Legolas laughed;

"Who wouldn't? He is beautiful, and he holds a lot more passion than you 
would imagine...Yes, I would very much like to have him...for my pleasure."

"But you're afraid..."

"...I'll hurt him. Yes, I am. "

"But in time..."

"I may grow to love him as he deserves...I know."

Haldir laughed at first, then he turned serious;

"I hope you do grow to love him, Legolas. I would like to see you happy..."

Legolas just smiled.

"And I you, Haldir," he said softly.

"So," Haldir's voice was back in its normal half-teasing, half-serious
tune."how long have you kept him in-waiting, this 'friend' of yours?"

Legolas smiled again, it seemed impossible not to;

"Five years," he sighed. "He's been here for five years, and it didn't take
long before..."

"...he fell in love with you? I can imagine!"

"How?" Legolas smiled, "how can you imagine?"

"Ah...Who wouldn't fall in love with you?" Haldir said and ran his hands 
through
Legolas hair. " You are the prettiest Prince of Mirkwood, anyone who didn't 
love you would be a fool."

"The prettiest Prince of Mirkwood?!" Legolas burst out in a laugh. " My
brother would be most offended!"

Haldir laughed as well.

"Well, you are *my* Prince of Mirkwood and *I* would be most offended if 
someone in your presence had the nerve *not* to fall in love with you, 
because you are..."

"I am...?"

"Pretty..." Haldir trailed off while giving Legolas' hair a last brush with 
his fingers.


II


Legolas never, never ceased marveling at the way his friend adjusted to his 
environment. There was nothing about the cool elf on the other side of the 
dinner table that reminded him of the cheerful friend and hairdresser 
upstairs.
Legolas knew that those moments, when they were alone, were special. They 
were Legolas' alone. Haldir never let down his guard like that for anyone 
else. It made them more than special, it made them intimate.

Legolas had a closeness to Haldir that seemed almost impossible when he
watched his friend now; the Confidant was gone, so was the March Warden and 
the Warrior. The elf in front of him could have been born a prince 
himself,raised at court. Skilled in the ways of politics and courtesy as he 
was,he fitted at any king's table. Being the perfect nobleman; elegant and 
witty.
His manners always perfect, his clothes always in order; no stains or
wrinkles. Haldir knew this world just as well as any of his other worlds; 
was just as comfortable complimenting the ladies of the court as he was when 
slaying an orc or fighting to protect the borders of his homeland. Dazzling 
was what he was when taking on this particular role, living out this side of 
his complex nature. Dazzling and striking, Legolas thought. The magnet to 
which everyone's eyes were drawn. When he spoke people listened. When he 
moved they were all watching. When he left the table or their midst, they 
felt poorer. He was an enrichment to any social occasion, and to Legolas, so 
much more.

He remembered the last time they'd seen each other: Lorien, twenty full
years ago. Legolas had decided to accompany his father although he knew it 
could mean pain. He had left Haldir without a word thirty years earlier.
Left and refused to come back, without any explanation to his dearest
friend...
The years in between had been a living nightmare, Legolas had grieved his 
loss, regretted his decision, debated within his own mind and raged against 
his own, unruly heart every single day. His heart had been the problem...his 
heart...his love.

Twenty years ago he had decided that the time was right. He could not hide 
himself from the other elf forever and he missed him...madly.
Just to see him again, he told himself, would be worth the trip. Just to
make sure he was all right. Just to see those dark eyes...

They had arrived in Lorien and been greeted by the Lord and Lady.  No sign 
of his friend...The Lady Galadriel's voice whispered no secrets in his mind, 
didn't give him any knowing looks this time. It was as if his bond to 
Lorien, the life he had lived there was erased with his departure from 
Haldir. He was greeted as any foreign guest. Any Prince...Legolas was 
disappointed and sad, and the cause of this former bond to the Golden Wood 
was nowhere to be seen.
Maybe he is away, Legolas had thought. Maybe he isn't here at all...
When he had spied Haldir's brother, Rumil, he just gave Legolas a cold
stare. No recognition visible in his expression. Legolas felt like an alien, 
like a stranger...

He kept to his own people, didn't want to mingle with the Lorien elves.
Their friendly coolness slashed open his scars; made him bleed again. This 
had been him; a part of *them*; Legolas and Haldir. He knew every path,every 
tree by heart. He knew all the elves as well, but they didn't seem to know 
*him*...anymore.

Legolas was puzzled and sad when he went to the banquet the second night
after their arrival. He just wanted to get it over with. Get the whole stay 
over with. He had been prepared for an argument; to finally stand up to 
Haldir's questions, instead he got this; nothing.

When he arrived at the banquet hall and found his place at the table, it was 
with a heavy heart. An hour later it was filled with despair, because *he* 
was there. He was there, and he didn't look at Legolas. Not once did 
Haldir's eyes seek him out. Not once did he give any sign of recognition.
Legolas remembered the tenseness in his own people, the wordless questions 
that arose among them. Why was his former companion acting like this? What 
had happened between them thirty years earlier?

For Legolas himself, his heart caught in throat when he first saw the elf. 
An overwhelming joy in his heart just at the sight of the gracious creature 
on the other side of the hall. Silvery hair in the candlelit night, the 
proud tilt of his neck. The long, slender fingers that caressed the goblet 
in his hand.  So familiar to Legolas, and now, so untouchable.  It brought 
tears to his eyes. Tears that he discreetly wiped away before anyone could 
see them. The longing for the other came back to him ten-fold. His coldness 
drove him mad, and still, he couldn't bring himself to leave, couldn't leave 
the other's presence. At least they were breathing the same air now, their 
eyes fell on the same things, if not on each other...

At last he had managed to raise himself from the table, excuse himself and 
leave. He didn't want his people to see, to see how wrong it all was, how 
insignificant he was to Haldir. He wanted to tend his wounds privately.  Not 
even the sweet misery of Haldir's presence was enough to have him ignore the 
sickening feeling of pity that arose from the Mirkwood elves at the table. 
Legolas couldn't take their pity. If he did he would break. He would fall 
apart and never be able to put himself together again.  This he knew with 
all his heart.

He had found comfort by the shore of fair Nimrodel. His favorite spot on 
this earth.  A place that held memories...memories of a time when Legolas 
had belonged here. Had belonged next to the proud Galadhrim: his companion, 
his friend.  Closer than family, closer than kind.  A time when a voice 
would sing softly into his ear, hands would caress all tenseness from his 
neck and forehead. Maybe a chaste kiss on his cheek. Being held by those 
arms...encircled by those slender limbs. Feel his breath in his 
hair...Legolas found comfort in his memories as the night passed on around 
him; the stars filled the night sky above him with tiny points; small, 
glittering stars. Nimrodel; so soothing, she caught his tears and carried 
them with her; kept them in her gentle grasp; let them mingle with the blood 
of Lorien. Pond with her stream; the heartbeat of the forest.

Soft footsteps behind him, a low voice from above :

" Isn't it the fair prince of Mirkwood that graces my eye on this lovely
night? And what does he do here all by himself? In a place that's usually 
mine -mine alone, now."

Legolas looked up, into that beloved face. The beautiful features,
softened now in the dim light; but still strikingly beautiful: Full lips, a 
noble nose; dark blue eyes under long, black lashes.
Legolas' feelings were a scream in his chest; one long scream: The feelings 
he had for this elf would not go away, would not be ignored. They would 
scream out their presence for good or for bad...this time, it was for bad.

"Haldir..." Legolas whisper was almost a scream in itself. Unable to keep 
the emotions from his voice, his eyes searched the stern face above him for 
some kind of sign. Any emotion on the marble, unreadable mask that was 
Haldir's face. He found none and against his will tears were running down 
his cheeks again, he sobbed and cursed himself inwardly. He was just so 
tired of it all, so very, very tired and sad.
Sad that it had ended like this. That the one he loved could look at him
that way.

Then something changed in Haldir's expression. It softened and turned into 
another one of startled surprise:

"Legolas!" Haldir said and knelt down."Why are you crying, my dearest
friend?  Why are you crying on a night filled with joy?"

"Joy?" Legolas managed between the sobs; he hid his face in his hands,
didn't want the raw pain to be visible to the other elf.

He felt the other's hand on his shoulder, a light touch. A concerned voice:

"Joy, because you're here with me again...isn't that something to
celebrate?"

Legolas removed his hands and looked at the other. Their eyes met now;
Haldir's held warmth. A warmth that instantly had a sigh of relief escaping 
Legolas' lips. It was all he needed then, a warm concern in his friend's 
eyes when he looked at him, the words were insignificant, as long as he 
looked at him like that.

"Don't you hate me?" Legolas knew he made himself sound small by asking, but 
couldn't resist.

The question was rewarded by a smile and two strong arms that wrapped around 
him, Haldir's scent filled his nostrils, a scent of home. A scent of 
belonging. His silvery hair in Legolas' face, along with a smooth cheek. A 
murmur in his ear; voice thick with emotion:

"No, my dearest! You silly elf!" Haldir almost laughed. " Don't you know me 
better by now?! I love you my sweet one...I love you..."

Legolas cried again. He could feel another wetness on his face as well;
other tears, not shed by him.

"Why didn't you look at me?" Legolas managed. "Why did you pretend I wasn't 
there?!"

Haldir laughed, a dry tear-filled laugh:

"You left me!" He almost cried out, still with a sad smile on his lips.
Tears in his eyes. " I couldn't just...embrace you, could I?"

"And how long, " Legolas sniffled, "did you plan on keeping up this
torture?"

" I don't know," Haldir shook his head, his voice was tired. " I know I
behaved childishly, but I was hurt, Legolas! You hurt me!" He pulled away 
from Legolas body, caught his eyes in a long stare.

" I am so sorry..." Legolas whispered and stroke his friend's cheek. " I am 
so sorry, Haldir. You have no idea how sorry I am for that!"

Haldir sat still for a moment, then he pulled Legolas in for another
embrace.

"You mean so much to me," he whispered. "I have missed you so much..."

"And I you..." Legolas answered. You are my light, he added in his head. The 
one and only...my one, my love.

They sat there for a while; close together in a tight embrace. Neither of 
them spoke. They just sat there; felt the comfort of the other's presence. 
The strong bond between them, one time could never touch.

At last Haldir spoke;

"I will not ask you why, Legolas...I just hope that your reasons were worth 
it, that they were good enough to suffer so much for..."

"They were." Legolas nodded slightly. "They still are," he added.

"You're not staying then?"

"No..."

Haldir sighed.

"If that's your decision, I will accept it...even if I had hoped that you 
would...but don't ever hide yourself from me again, Legolas. Promise me 
that!"

"I promise!" Legolas whispered. "I have no peace when I'm not at peace with 
you...and I love you, Haldir, I really do. And I will not hurt you again, 
that is another promise I will make."

"Thank you." Haldir whispered to his hair and pressed a soft kiss to his
forehead. "I believe you." he added. " I love you too..."

They had spent day and night together for the rest of Thranduil's stay in 
Lorien. Sharing Haldir's talan as they used to.
Legolas felt utterly alive in those days. Joy filled his heart and soul as 
he spent the days with his other half; renewing their shared habits, falling 
into a known and loved pattern. A peace fell over him, one he had not known 
since...not until now.
Now that he could rise his gaze and meet Haldir's across the table. Share 
smiles with him, listen to his dark voice telling an amusing story...

He met another pair of eyes now; Saelbeth's. With a shock Legolas
realized that they were filled with sadness. He looked hurt...confused.
Why? Legolas thought, what is wrong?
He looked closer at the sweet elven face, noticed the transparency of his 
pointed ears. The delicate bone structure in his face. The gentle grace that 
was Saelbeth.
Have I hurt him, he asked himself, then realized that Saelbeth probably knew 
about Haldir. How could he not? It was common knowledge in both Mirkwood and 
Lorien, probably in Rivendell as well. They used to be companions, everyone 
knew that.
Maybe he thinks there's more to it, Legolas thought and promised himself to 
pay more attention to the other elf. Reassure him of their friendship and 
the nature of it. Then his eyes drifted back to Haldir, his gaze got caught 
in the sensuous bow of his mouth and stayed there.


*******************

Saelbeth was puzzled about the intensity of his own jealousy. He was usually 
a master of his own emotions, always able to reason anger and despair away, 
keep them at bay with the voice of his mind. Not so this time.Mirkwood had 
proven to be a trap for his emotional balance: First the strong emotions he 
had developed for Legolas; now this...of course, one thing often lead to 
another and Saelbeth had never been in love before. How could he have known 
he had this in him? And the jealousy wasn't infested with anger, it held no 
violence, just sadness, really. And fear...

He looked at his prince, looked at the way his prince looked at Haldir;
followed his every move, how every smile from the March Warden created a
slight blush in the prince's cheeks.
Does he know it? Saelbeth wondered. Does he know how obvious his feelings 
are?
Then he argued with himself; maybe he's just happy to see him. They haven't 
seen each other for decades. It could be just that...he was excited about 
seeing the other elf again.
Maybe...

Saelbeth looked at Thranduil. The king sat at the end of the table; his eyes 
almost as sparkling as his son's as they lingered on the Lorien elf, 
listened to his words with amusement.
Nobody listened to Saelbeth with amusement. They listened to him with
attention, with respect - but never did he make them laugh. Not like this.
Worst part was that Saelbeth did not doubt for a moment that people
listen to him, Haldir, with both respect and attention as well. He was no 
fool, this elf. This threat. The depth of his eyes spoke of an ancient soul. 
A part of Saelbeth felt strangely fascinated by this thought. It made him 
wonder what lay beneath. Behind those dark eyes; deep blue mirrors that 
reflected his surroundings so cleverly but gave almost nothing in return.

Suddenly a sharp fear for Legolas blossomed in his chest, a red flower of 
danger. A feeling that was subtle but still there. Could the prince's bond 
to this curious creature prove to be dangerous?
Could he hurt his prince?
He quickly reminded himself that Legolas was no fool and that Haldir of
Lorien had known Legolas longer, better than Saelbeth. But the uneasiness 
would not completely go away.

He came back to his senses when he met Legolas' eyes across the table. A
slight smile. A content little gesture meant only for him before his eyes 
drifted back to Haldir. Fresh pain drove away the joy of the smile in 
Saelbeth's heart when Legolas' eyes turned into bright, shining stars once 
again as they met Haldir's over the plates and goblets on the table.


**************

He didn't really know why he had accepted the invitation to spend the night 
with Haldir and Legolas. Maybe he wanted to keep an eye on them. Maybe he 
wanted to have his suspicions confirmed. What he did not expect was to be so 
warmly greeted by Haldir when he entered Legolas' chambers:

"Ah...here comes the new flower of Mirkwood," he crossed the floor and
embraced the startled elf, still standing in the doorframe, pressed a soft 
kiss to his cheek and murmured; "...and beautiful he is..." Saelbeth 
blushed, and blushed again when he noticed the way Haldir's eyes measured 
him up and down with a secretive smile on his lips.
He could see Legolas over Haldir's shoulder. He smiled at them both,
seemingly not disturbed at all by Haldir's behavior. He looked utterly
relaxed and happy. More so than Saelbeth could remember ever having seen him 
before.
Being jealous on the other hand, was close to impossible as long as he still 
had Haldir's strong arms wrapped around his waist and the weight of his gaze 
roaming his body.
At last, after seconds that seemed an eternity to Saelbeth's senses, Haldir 
let him go with a low chuckle. He stepped aside to let him in the room.

"I don't think Saelbeth is quite familiar with your causalness yet, Haldir," 
Legolas teased them both laughing. "Sit down Saelbeth...you look pale." 
Legolas smiled at him. Saelbeth managed a nervous grin in return and sat 
down in his usual chair,the one opposite Legolas and hoped that he didn't 
step on any toes by doing so...
- Obviously not: Haldir settled for Legolaas' chair instead: Casually he sat 
down on the wooden frame of the heavy chair, leaning himself slightly down 
towards Legolas while lifting a goblet to his mouth. All so graciously, 
Saelbeth thought. And like it didn't matter, that it was Saelbeth's prince, 
the most wonderful among elves that sat there. Like he shouldn't be 
approached with awe.

He noticed a tinge of spices in the air: Honey and cinnamon mixed with
cloves and something stronger. His eyes drifted towards the fire place.

"It's warm wine," Legolas followed his gaze. "We know it's not autumn yet, 
but we wanted to follow an old tradition..." Legolas and Haldir's eyes met; 
spoke to each other of other nights long passed. Nights when Saelbeth had 
not been there. Nights that were theirs in shared memories. Both elves were 
smiling, knowingly, to each other. It must have been good nights. Nights 
worth remembering.
Saelbeth swallowed.

Haldir rose and claimed the part of the host. He took a silver goblet from 
the mantle piece and filled it with wine from a cauldron. With a smile he 
handed it to Saelbeth.

"Taste it," he said. "It's nice..."

Saelbeth did as he was told; wine didn't seem like such a bad idea right
now. Haldir's kindness confused him though, but maybe he just didn't think 
Saelbeth a threat...and he was probably right as well.

After finishing half the goblet Saelbeth was finally relaxed enough to pay 
attention to the conversation. It was light and merry and Saelbeth caught 
himself smiling.
The two elves in front of him both seemed so happy, so relaxed in each 
other's company, their laughter was so carefree and without malice, it was 
impossible not to join them.

And they looked lovely together. Saelbeth hated himself for even thinking 
that thought; but it was still true. They were like fire and water, still 
blending into each other: Both held their own flavor; still they were the 
same...Both were graceful; fluid motions; like a dance when they moved 
together; shifted on the chair, lifted their goblets. Smiled at each other 
with red, red lips. Crystal gazes that met each other: Dark ocean to fresh 
mountain river. They spoke as they moved: One would continue where the other 
one left the trail. They seemed somehow synchronized. Like pieces of a 
whole; parts of the same cycle. Golden strands of hair mingled with silvery 
ones as they laughed together, bending their heads close to one another; 
silken skin that brushed the other's.
It was beautiful, and to Saelbeth; it was sad.

He looked at their robes: Legolas' golden one with coppery embroideries; so 
much like his own blue one, made by the same maids here in Mirkwood.
Haldir's: Deep red and with silvery embroideries in the shape of mallorn
leaves at the trim. Unfamiliar. Exciting, different...no wonder Legolas
would prefer him to Saelbeth; he brought a different world with him when he 
entered the gate. A world Saelbeth knew Legolas loved. He spoke of Lorien 
with a deep longing. Saelbeth, had never even been to the Golden Wood. He 
still thought of the place as something ancient, from the myths, shrouded in 
mystery like the Lady Galadriel herself. When he met an elf from Lorien he 
usually kept his distance, afraid that he'd appear young or naive to the 
stern, grey clad people of the wood. People with the same silvery hair, the 
same dark eyes, the same fair skin as the one in front of him. Glowing 
brighter than any other elven people; the magic of the woods seeping through 
their skin; filled them to the brim; there...inside.

They were beautiful, Saelbeth thought. Beautiful and untouchable. Of all
rivals to the prince's heart he could get, an Elf of Lorien seemed to
Saelbeth to be the worst option. He couldn't conquer this. Just silently
accept it. After all, he was no fool...he was still grieved though. It
hurt him deeply, almost brought tears to his eyes, even now...in front of 
them.

"Won't you sing for us, Saelbeth?" Legolas asked with one of his sweet
smiles. Honest, blue eyes met his.

" Not tonight, my prince." Saelbeth said, his voice almost a whisper. "My 
songs won't do this night justice," he added and thought that his sadness 
could not be hidden if he sang.

"Haldir?" Legolas continued.

"My songs does not sound right without the Golden Wood, they are meant for 
Lorien, you know that." Haldir smiled.

" Why don't you sing, Legolas?" Saelbeth asked.

And Legolas sang. Soft and beautiful, a song of joy. Longing fulfilled. And 
they were friends then, Saelbeth felt. He and Haldir...they were friends in 
that moment, bound by the golden prince's song, the enchantment that fell 
upon them as their dearest friend shared the contents of his heart; wove 
them into music.

When Legolas finished his song, Saelbeth sighed and lifted the goblet to his 
lips, it was empty. He was drinking without thinking tonight. Not a good 
sign, he decided to slow down the pace, but then Haldir was there with the 
cauldron, urging him to have some more. Saelbeth accepted, if nothing 
else,he thought, it would keep him here a while longer, and as long as he 
was here; nothing could happen between the other two elves.

The hours went by; Legolas and Haldir entertained Saelbeth with stories from 
their travels, meetings with people from strange kingdoms. Their encounters 
with dangerous creatures. People with elven blood, so thin after hundreds of 
years of exile that they knew nothing of the elven ways. 
Half-orcs;unfortunate creatures born of human or elven mothers after orc 
attacks.Halflings; a small, merry people, almost forgotten by most, but 
still very much alive, according to the pair in front of him.

Saelbeth realized how limited his own world was: how narrow the sphere of 
the library and his study. Of course, he had heard about such things, but 
they...they had seen it! Haldir and Legolas had been there. With a sigh 
Saelbeth let himself be absorbed by the stories, he refused to think more 
about himself this night. It only made him feel miserable.

Suddenly something caught his attention; Haldir's hand was on Legolas'
thigh, slowly stroking it up and down. Legolas still telling a story, seemed 
oblivious to the act. He just kept talking, paying no attention to the 
wandering hands.
Now Saelbeth could see that Haldir's other hand had slipped around Legolas' 
neck, nesting in his hair... But his eyes, his eyes were on Saelbeth: a 
dark, piercing gaze in a hungry expression. His nostrils flared as Saelbeth 
met his eyes; the sensuous mouth curved in to a little smile and Saelbeth 
noticed that his chest was heaving, as if he breathed deep and fast. His 
eyes were slightly blurred, either by alcohol or...something else.

Saelbeth blushed under the weight of Haldir's gaze. Blushed and swallowed.
His mouth suddenly too dry, his throat thick.
What was this? Some kind of challenge?...- No, that didn't feel right.

Haldir's eyes traveled his body again while his tongue darted out to wet his 
lower lip.Suddenly an image flared through Saelbeth's mind; Haldir's hand on 
his own thigh, slowly caressing it. Haldir's hand in his own hair; playing 
with it.
Haldir's arms; strong from archery and swordplay, holding him tight in his 
embrace. Naked skin that met the other's...

Saelbeth knew what he saw; he saw lust on the other's face. Lust for 
him,Saelbeth...
His skin instantly crawled with goosebumps and a shiver ran down his
spine. He could feel his nipples stiffen under the fabric of his tunic; the 
blood pound heavy in his lips; filling them with blood; preparing them for a 
kiss...His mind filled with chaotic impulses, questions popped up in random 
order. His own sudden lust made the confusion complete. His skin seemed to 
tingle as the glowing creature trailed him with his eyes, he felt utterly 
naked, exposed. And curiously excited by it.

He swallowed hard and put down his goblet. The heavy air with its scent of 
spices felt impossible to breath in, too warm, too strong to the senses.

"I have to go," he murmured quickly and rose from his chair. He could feel 
how his cheeks burned and a sudden dizziness took hold of him. Made him sway 
a little before he regained his balance.

"Yes, you have to work with my father tomorrow," Legolas smiled. His eyes a 
little blurred from the wine; his smile no less gentle. On the 
contrary:Legolas was all soft and purring like a kitten when he was in this 
half-drunk state. He had pulled his knees up and sat comfortably in the 
circle of Haldir's arms, leaning in against him, caressing his velvet clad 
chest with his cheek.

"Yes..." Saelbeth answered, his voice nothing more that a hoarse whisper. He 
turned on his heel and left the room on shaky legs. Not able to breath again 
until he had the solid door between himself and them.

"Goodnight," Legolas murmured to his back as he left.


III


Legolas woke with the sun and stretched his body, forced every strong limb 
back to life. He was smiling. A big smile on his lips as he woke on this 
beautiful day. Beautiful because Haldir was there; behind the door in front 
of him, in Legolas' private guest chamber.
He tried to imagine him in his head; how he looked under the forest green 
blankets with golden trims, how he moved in his sleep, how his face looked 
under the searching rays of the sun. He wondered if he was still sleeping on 
his back as he used to; sprawled on the bed, every perfect limb stretched 
out; his head to one side, his hair a silken mass on the pillow. Long lashes 
that rested on the flawless, marble skin. Glowing...even in his sleep.

With a sigh of longing Legolas found himself wishing they were in Lorien. In 
Haldir's talan, sleeping next to each other on the floor as they used to, so 
he could just turn his head and look for himself; rest his eyes on the 
beloved features of his friend...or maybe not...With a slight unease he 
remembered another morning, *that* morning. The morning that changed it all:

He should have seen it coming; after months, no -years! of struggle to keep 
his emotions, his love for his companion hidden, he had finally been 
betrayed, by his own body...It had slowly happened over a period of time; 
they would go to sleep at night as usual and Legolas would find himself on a 
different spot on the floor the next morning; a spot moving steadily closer 
to Haldir...
Every night he would move a couple of inches more than the night before.
Slowly crawling to him, night by night. His body would seek the other's in 
his sleep and there was nothing Legolas could do about it.
He wrapped himself tightly in the sheets, as far from the other elf as
possible without waking suspicion. Still, when the morning came he would
find himself, free from the sheets, on the middle of the floor that
separated them; moving in closer every night.
Legolas despaired, prayed that the other wouldn't notice. Haldir used to
sleep longer than him, and Legolas knew that's what had saved him from the 
humiliation of being caught on the middle of the floor; naked, as the custom 
was among the Lorien elves, and with a proud erection throbbing between his 
thighs.

It all fell apart when they were on one of their travels. They had to sleep 
in the woods for several nights and trusting their elven senses they had 
chosen not to set guard that particular night. They were both exhausted from 
the day and fell asleep quickly. A little to close, in their haste, Legolas 
knew that now. He should have thought about it...but he hadn't.

When he woke up it was with a feverish sensation. His body was on fire;
wrapped in strong, slender limbs. He could feel Haldir's breath on his face, 
soft murmurs from the other in his sleep. He had flung his arm across 
Legolas' chest and one of his legs across his thighs. His firm erection was 
pressed to Legolas' hip, grinding against it; causing the soft murmurs and 
the hot breath from Haldir's mouth. Legolas froze. Sweat broke out all over 
his body.  He didn't know what to do, and the excitement caused by the 
other's unconscious actions didn't make it any easier for him to think 
coherently.
He heard a low moan escape his own lips as Haldir sighed against his ear. 
His breath was so very hot on Legolas skin...he cursed himself for not 
thinking the night before; he should have foreseen this: And what would 
Haldir think if he woke up now and found Legolas there; under his blanket; 
naked in his arms?

Legolas felt like crying; there was no way he could get out of the situation 
without waking the other, trapped as he was under his arm and leg. And with 
that...target of his desires pounding against his skin.  Legolas was aroused 
himself, very much so...although this was a nightmare it was also a dream 
come true: He was there, in his beloved's embrace; feeling his need against 
his own body. The sensation of his skin was even stronger to his senses than 
he had imagined. He knew he ought to do *something* but the whole thing felt 
so *good*.

Haldir murmured something and nuzzled his head against Legolas' neck. Soft 
lips touched his skin and fingers moved up his arm, wrapping themselves in 
Legolas' hair.

Legolas moaned again, louder this time, his body twitched and he panicked,if 
this was allowed to continue one, or both of them would probably fall over 
the edge; make the moment of revelation even more bitter: The evidence of 
lust would be visible; not possible to be explained away.
Carefully he turned his body; tried to make it as graceful as possible.
Careful that Haldir's limbs would fall naturally from his body, not
suddenly, as that would surely wake him. He moved, but in the wrong 
direction...he had thought it would be easier to slip down and out of the 
embrace if he faced Haldir, what he had not thought on was how this movement 
would bring their bodies into closer contact. That it would press their 
erections together, their lips only inches apart. Legolas shuddered as he 
felt Haldir's firmness against his own; the other never ceased grinding his 
hips towards him and now the friction was unbearable. Legolas felt like 
screaming as jolts of pure fire shot through his body. He bit his lip, he 
clenched his fists, felt his own nails dig into the skin of his palms.
It took every ounce of willpower to keep from making a sound, to keep from 
coming, right there; over Haldir's erection.

Haldir murmured something again. His arm was still flung across Legolas'
body and now he pulled him closer. Closer to that unbearable heat. His lips 
moved over his skin; seeking his mouth.
"Gods, no!" Legolas heard his own voice. If Haldir kissed him now he 
wouldn't be able to hold back; it would all fall apart.

Haldir must've heard him as well, at least he drew a deep breath and rolled 
back to his usual sleeping position on his back. His limbs left Legolas,made 
him feel relieved, and naked. And cold...

He quickly got up on shivering legs, tried to breathe, even took a few steps 
away from the sleeping elf in front of him, almost stumbling over his own 
discarded sleeping blankets.
Haldir's blanket had slipped from his body as he rolled back from Legolas. 
Leaving his body exposed to Legolas' gaze. The whole scene seemed surreal. 
Legolas couldn't really believe that what had happened had actually 
happened. And a deep longing for the other's body filled his loins once 
again. The fire he had created wasn't about to leave his body so easily.
Hungry his eyes roamed Haldir's body. Took in everything he'd almost 
had,just moments ago.
"Gods," he whispered again before falling to his knees. Need and despair
filling every inch of him. His marble god lay before him; unreadable, even 
more so now, in his sleep.
He was still aroused. Legolas marveled at the evidence of his lust. The fact 
that it was *his* warmth, *his* body that had brought Haldir to this state 
in the first place.

Without thinking at all, Legolas rose again while a whimpering sound
escaped his lips, almost with tears in his eyes he carefully placed one knee 
on each side of  Haldir's hips, careful not to touch him, not to bring their 
skin in contact and he started stroking himself.
It didn't take long, only seconds, before he spilled himself in his hand 
while a low moan, a muffled cry, fell from his lips. And he knew it, in that 
moment that this was the end, he would have to leave.

The release was sweet, almost sweet enough to endure the shame that
followed. The bitter knowledge that it was all over. But not quite. Still, 
for what it was worth; Legolas cherished the memory, and dreaded it.

It could never be, he told himself again, now, over fifty years later... It 
will never be, he reminded himself. Haldir doesn't see me that way. And 
then: I should concentrate on Saelbeth. I should spare my idle fantasies for 
him. His soft eyes, his gentle caresses...
Legolas sighed and rose from the bed while picturing Saelbeth in his mind. 
He would talk to him, he decided. Reassure himself and the other of their 
bond. Reawaken the 'maybe'. The days yet to come...

*******************

Saelbeth couldn't concentrate on his tasks this morning. The night before 
still haunted his mind. He was ashamed that he had reacted so to the March 
Warden's flirting gaze. It wasn't like him; matters of the heart and the 
body wasn't so very different in Saelbeth's opinion. He had had lovers, but 
always felt guilty for not loving them as he should when it was over...And 
Legolas...his lust for him was mingled with love. He didn't feel ashamed for 
that.

What was wrong with him, he wondered. He couldn't want them both, could he?
Maybe he had misunderstood Haldir's intentions; he did after all busy his 
hands with Legolas at the time. But somehow, he couldn't force himself to 
doubt what he had seen on the other's face. He wished he could though, 
because it could bring no good, just uneasiness...more questions, add to his 
confusion.

His thoughts were interrupted by a light knock on the door. He turned around 
to see Legolas enter the library, greeting him with an almost shy smile.

"Good morning, Saelbeth," he said, "I hope all the wine last night didn't 
interrupt your sleep..."  He arched his brows teasingly.

" No...no..." Saelbeth answered with a smile. Feeling his heart lighten
somewhat by the sight of the prince.

"Good..." Legolas said and put his hand on Saelbeth's shoulder. He moistened 
his lips, not sure how to continue.

"Is Haldir still asleep?" Saelbeth asked, annoyed with himself for not being 
able to be more subtle than that. But it was so important to him to *know*. 
To ease his confusion, get a hold of the situation...no matter how much he 
might dislike the answer.

"Yes....yes...at least he was when I left."

Saelbeth knew he should have expected the answer, still it felt like he
couldn't breathe properly. He could feel the blood drain from his face; he 
hadn't known that the hope still stayed so strong in him. He had seen them 
after all, all the tenderness, the caressing. All those shared smiles, eyes 
that locked...

Something must have shown on his face because the elf in front of him burst 
out in a laugh. A laugh that lit up his whole face, made him look younger,
merrier.

"My dear, Saelbeth!" Legolas burst out. "When I left *my* bed..."

Saelbeth just stared at him, not really seeing the difference.

"Haldir isn't sleeping in my bed, he is sleeping in his own, in my
guest-room..." Legolas laughed again as he saw the enlightenment spread on 
Saelbeth's face. Chasing the brooding clouds away.
" I think I should be flattered," Legolas continued with an unusually
coquette smile on his lips. His eyes sparkled teasingly at Saelbeth when he 
picked up his own thread; "...that my sleeping habits have such an effect on 
you, " he raised his fingers and let them slide along Saelbeth's jawbone; 
"that they can make a pretty elf like you pale on such a lovely summer 
morning..."

Saelbeth felt himself blush, but it didn't really matter. The relief he felt 
was beyond words, what he really wanted to do was to go somewhere and cry, 
and laugh...
But then, his prince was standing before him, touching him with his
fingertips, telling him he was pretty. Telling him he had nothing to 
fear,Haldir wasn't sleeping in his bed.

A sigh escaped his lips and Legolas laughed again.

"Did you think he was my lover?" Legolas asked, still with a smile on his 
lips, eyes still shiny from the laugh.

" He is...awfully...physical, your friend." Saelbeth replied. He wanted to 
smile himself.

"Yes, he is," Legolas smiled. "He's always been like that...with me..." he 
added.

"But he's not...?"

"No, Saelbeth, he is not. Has never been..." Legolas trailed off, something 
soft, almost sad, fluttered in his eyes and was gone.

Saelbeth pulled himself together, knew they were lightly touching something; 
brushing the borders of all that was unspoken between them. Never before had 
Legolas shown so clearly that he held affection for Saelbeth, never before 
had he shown so clearly how well he knew how Saelbeth felt about him. The 
next couple of minutes, Saelbeth knew, could be the most important in his 
life...

"Not interrupting am I?" The cool, dark voice from the door startled them 
both and Saelbeth could see Legolas blush as he turned to greet the
intruder.

"No...not at all," the prince said. "Come and join us, Haldir, I was just 
about to ask Saelbeth to join me for breakfast, " he said quickly.

Haldir entered the room with a little smile and a curious look at them both. 
His expression held amusement and somehow Saelbeth found that comforting, as 
if the Lorien elf had given them some sort of blessing, and as if it 
mattered that he did.
Disappointed as he might be over the inconvenient interruption, he couldn't 
help but greet him with a big, happy smile. Haldir was maybe not that bad 
after all...and he was *not* Legolas' lover. Saelbeth's heart sang in his 
chest. Made the glow of his skin deepen.
When Haldir put his hand on the small of Legolas' back on their way across 
the hall, it didn't matter.
Didn't matter because Saelbeth *knew* now. He knew...

******************

As Haldir's stay continued they fell into a new rhythm: Legolas and Haldir 
would spend most days on the horseback, preferably somewhere in the woods; 
hunting or improving their archery skills. Saelbeth would stay behind and 
work, but when the two of them returned they would seek him out almost 
immediately; invite him to Legolas' rooms, where the warm wine would wait 
for them in the cauldron.

On rainy days they would all stay inside; played games or sought the company 
of the other elves lingering in Thranduil's palace.

Saelbeth's only regret these days was that he hardly ever had Legolas to
himself, and when he did the time never seemed right to discuss those things 
that lay so heavy upon his mind. To continue the interrupted conversation 
from the library.

He saw Haldir with different eyes now that the jealousy was gone; he felt 
free to appreciate his company, find comfort in his presence, as the elf had 
a strange ability to make other elves relax and enjoy the moment. And never 
did he repeat his actions from the first night. He kept his eyes to himself, 
although Saelbeth could sometimes swear that he could see him looking at him 
from the corner of his eye. Not so obvious that it was even close 
embarrassing, but still it made him curious. And, Saelbeth had to admit, it 
was a bit flattering to play with the thought; being admired by such a 
creature...he could hardly be labeled vain for enjoying such an honor...if 
it was so...

As the early autumn passed by more guests arrived at Mirkwood, Legolas had 
more duties to attend to. To Saelbeth's surprise Haldir would often seek him 
on those occasions, spend the time with him, just the two of them. It wasn't 
that he didn't appreciate it; it was just...surprising. It was as if a part 
of him still couldn't really believe that a March Warden of Lorien, a 
Captain of the Lady's guard, several times his age could find pleasure in 
his company. That he would spend his time with a Prince of Mirkwood was one 
thing, a insignificant, young advisor, something quite different. He felt 
flattered by it, flattered and strangely excited.

It was on one of these occasions, while they were walking through the
gardens surrounding the palace buildings, Haldir suddenly turned to him and 
asked;

"So, tell me dear Saelbeth, how long have you loved the prince?"

Saelbeth blushed, but wasn't really surprised. If Legolas had any feelings 
for him at all, Haldir would know, so was the nature of their friendship.

"Five years now," Saelbeth replied in a soft voice.

Haldir put his arm gently across his shoulders and gave them a comforting 
squeeze.

"He is not rushing it then," Haldir smiled. "How long are you prepared to 
wait?"

The question startled Saelbeth a bit, he hadn't really thought about it
before;

"As long as I have to...I guess," he answered. "Although I'm not really sure 
what I'm waiting for."

"For Legolas to make up his mind?" Haldir suggested.

Saelbeth blushed again.

"If he loves me," he said, "I don't understand why he has to make up his
mind about anything...He could just...love me." Saelbeth finished the
sentence.

"Ah..If only love was that easy," Haldir replied. "If only *Legolas* was
that easy," he added and gave Saelbeth a knowing look.

"He is not?" Saelbeth asked, just to continue the conversation. If Haldir 
knew something he did not, he really wanted to know.

"There was a time," Haldir started, "when Legolas would give himself without 
hesitation. Just to celebrate life, the Earth and the Moon...when he would 
let the forces of life stream through his body and his heart...But he has 
changed." Haldir sighed and his eyes drifted into an alien land, seeing a 
past unknown to the younger elf.

"How?" Saelbeth asked, trying to picture this other Legolas; a younger, more 
playful one.

Haldir paused for a while before answering.

"He has closed himself, he seems almost afraid of giving anything of
himself, of receiving anything...Something has happened, but I'm afraid I 
can't tell you exactly what..."

"But it all began when he left you? Surely you must know something..."
Saelbeth argued.

"Have you been listening to the kitchen maids, Saelbeth?" Haldir smirked. 
"Yes, it's true that his departure from Lothlorien was sudden...painfully 
so...but I can't discuss the reasons with you, not when Legolas isn't 
present, maybe not even then..."

"Still you claim not to know..."

Haldir didn't reply, he just smiled and looked at the ground before him.
Finally he lifted his gaze;

"I'm glad you're here with him, Saelbeth. That he has a friend like you,
someone who loves him when I'm not here." He lifted his hand, let his
fingers brush over Saelbeth's hair. "Someone who'll take care of him, who's 
got the power to bring light back to his eyes. Melt his frozen
heart.Someone he can love..." his voice trailed off.

"Do you love him?" Saelbeth asked, breathlessly waiting for the answer.

"Not like you do," Haldir replied. "Not like that at all." He gave
Saelbeth's hand a light squeeze.

"He told me..." Saelbeth began...

"What did he tell you?"

"That the two you weren't lovers, that you never had been, that close."

" We haven't, even if most of the elves both here and in Lorien think
so...it's understandable, we did live together for almost a century...As for 
the closeness; we are closer than that. Closer than lovers, can you 
understand such a bond, Saelbeth? Because it's important that you do...- 
because when Legolas finally comes around and takes you in to his bed you 
must know that I will always be there, somewhere in his life. And that we 
will have something that you can not touch, even if he loves you and you 
him..." Haldir's voice was serious, and something in it told Saelbeth that 
this was not jealousy, it was the truth. It was what he had sensed ever 
since the elf had first arrived in Mirkwood.

"I don't think I can...grasp, completely, such a friendship," Saelbeth
answered honestly. "But I do think I can promise I'll respect it...if that 
day ever comes..." he added.

"I do believe that it will," Haldir said with a secretive smile, his words 
creating hot waves in Saelbeth's chest.

"Has he said anything?" Saelbeth knew the question made him seem awfully
young, but he couldn't resist, Haldir was as close to the source as he could 
get without asking Legolas directly, and for that he hadn't built enough 
courage yet.

"I wouldn't be much of a friend if I told you, would I?" Haldir's hand
rested on his shoulder. "Be patient, fair Saelbeth...In the mean time, if 
your nights get lonely and cold, " his hand moved to trail down Saelbeth's 
smooth cheek; "you know where to find me..."

The beautiful elf smiled and batted his lashes at him in a sensuous gesture 
before gracefully turning and leave him there; baffled and shocked in the 
garden.

********************

On his way back to the palace Haldir crossed paths with the elven child
again; he sat on the same spot; playing with his sticks as before. Haldir 
watched him curiously for a while then he bent over and pointed at a stick 
he hadn't noticed before:

"Now, who is that?" he asked the child.

"I don't know yet," the child answered without looking at him. "But he likes 
the prince a lot."

"Really?" Haldir smiled.

"And Saelbeth, the counselor is crying..."

"Is he?" Haldir asked in a low voice, concern showing on his face.

"Yes," the child whispered. Suddenly he turned and his big, blue eyes locked 
in Haldir's. "Does he really have to go?" He asked him.

Haldir bent down and gave his head a light touch.

"I'm afraid he does," he answered. "I'm afraid he has to go..."

*********************

Saelbeth couldn't keep Haldir's last words out of his thoughts. Even when he 
tried. It was as if they were branded into his mind. Haunting him even in 
his sleep.
Pulsing tendrils of lust seeped out of them, nested around Saelbeth's mind. 
Temptingly hot and seductive.

Haldir himself acted as if nothing had happened, as if the words had never 
been spoken. He even accompanied Saelbeth in the gardens again without even 
hinting at it. Always smooth, always in control...Always beautiful...

The knowledge that he could have him was about to drive Saelbeth mad. And 
the shame; it didn't really do his love for Legolas much justice did it, to 
lust for his friend like this...Long for his attention.
At the same time he felt anger towards Legolas for the first time: If he
hadn't been so difficult, left him hanging like this, these confusing
desires wouldn't have blossomed in his heart in the first place. He felt his 
longing for Legolas grow heavier, more painful for every day. With a shock 
he realized he was about to get impatient. He, who had promised himself to 
let Legolas set the pace, give him all the time he needed...

It was all because of Haldir. Haldir and his dangerous eyes. Beautiful
Haldir with the sensuous mouth and the Lorien glow on his skin. Red lips and 
silvery hair...It was all because of him.

He caught himself staring at him, roaming his body with his eyes, much as 
Haldir had done to *him* on the first night.

He would look at him with longing and fire in his loins.

He hadn't felt his loneliness, his nights alone in his bed as a burden
before, not before *he* pointed it out. Now his nights was filled with
raging fantasies, dreams of marble bodies entwined, and none of them were 
Legolas'.

Saelbeth wished that Haldir would leave. In the next moment that he would 
stay forever, that he would come to him, pin him to the bed, make his dreams 
come true. Then the guilt would come back and his love for Legolas blossomed 
even stronger in his heart.

Tension. Mixed feelings. Saelbeth's days were not good. He didn't lack
pleasant company; he had too much of it.

Something had to happen soon, he knew it, such tension didn't build just to 
go away...Something, but he didn't know what.


IV

It was late at night. Saelbeth had left his bed and wandered the gardens  
restlessly. He had been driven out by heated dreams that gave him  no peace. 
He felt confused and slightly ashamed and couldn't even blame it  on the 
unconscious state of sleep since he had been awake all the time.
The waking dreams were his own; his own desires.
He sighed and felt the night embrace him; the comforting calm of the garden. 
Nature had suddenly cheated them and turned into hot summer even though it 
should have been late autumn. The trees had already caught the red and 
golden colors of the season but the air was warm, too warm, Saelbeth thought 
as he tried to rid himself of the dreams.
He went over to the outdoor kitchen, the one the maids preferred when the 
weather was warm; when the boiling kettles and pans in the kitchen made it 
too unbearably hot inside. Saelbeth and Legolas both loved this kitchen; 
nothing more than a couple of stoned walls and a fireplace, really. And a 
table filled with bowls and barrels brimming with nuts, fresh and dried 
fruits. Herbs and spices. It was a delightful place; peaceful and nice. 
Saelbeth decided to find a bottle of wine before going back to his bed, he 
would try to catch some more sleep, even though he doubted that this night 
held more rest for him.

He didn't hear him approach, but he could feel him. Something in the air 
changed, it grew thicker. Something else changed although he couldn't tell 
exactly what it was.
When he turned, Haldir stood there as expected. He didn't say anything he 
just caught Saelbeth's gaze. Caught it...and kept it.
Still without a word he took an apple from one of the wooden bowls on the  
table and removed a sharp little knife that looked like mithril from some 
hidden pocket in his robes. The knife gleamed in the moonlight. Elvish runes 
glittered on the blade as Haldir held it to the red surface, let it cut into 
the fruit.

Saelbeth watched as drops of clear liquid to seeped out form the fresh 
wound, covering Haldir's fingers with the juice.  Haldir sliced a piece of 
the apple; one perfect, round circle of fruit, and lifted it to his lips. 
Saelbeth watched as his full lips closed around it, heard the sound as his 
teeth sank in to the ripe white meat and the crisp,red peel. Involuntarily a 
sigh escaped his lips. He felt the heat, the night and the intimacy of the 
kitchen. That, and the other elf's presence that seemed to fill the air 
around him, made him drink him in with every breath. The scent that was 
Haldir, the *feel* of him that lay thick and heavy, mingling with the scent 
of apples.

"They're sweet" Haldir said at last. "A lot sweeter than you would think. 
You don't really believe it until you taste...but once your lips have tasted 
it though, it's like you can't get enough."
He took the little knife and sliced another piece from the apple in his hand 
and lifted it towards Saelbeth's lips;

"Here," he urged. "Try..."

Saelbeth parted his lips slightly. He closed his eyes and held his breath  
when he felt the fruit on his lips, felt how Haldir moved it in circles on 
his lower lip, smearing it with juices before pushing the slice gently in to 
his mouth.

Haldir was right; it tasted wonderful. Sweet and ripe.

Saelbeth opened his eyes just to see the other elf's eyes only a couple of  
inches from his own.

"Tastes nice, doesn't it?" Haldir said with a smile, while lifting his hand  
to rest on Saelbeth's collar. His fingers played with the embroidery,  
caressed the fabric. "It's such a beautiful night," he purred. " No elf 
should be alone on a night like this." He lifted his gaze to meet  
Saelbeth's. "Especially not someone as pretty as you."

Saelbeth tensed.

"Legolas, " he said. " I will not...could not!"  Haldir lowered his gaze, 
let it rest on the ground before Saelbeth's feet. A little smile played on 
his lips. " Do you think Legolas expects you to wait until he's made up his 
mind?" He asked him. " Don't think so little of him. Legolas has a very 
generous nature, he will not force another not to follow his."
"His?" Saelbeth asked breathlessly. "..nature" Haldir explained. " Legolas 
doesn't judge...He likes you, maybe even loves you...but until that day 
comes, the day you're waiting for, he has to make up his mind about a lot of 
things. He has to find his peace." Haldir's fingers wandered around 
Saelbeth's shoulder, lingered on the back of it for a moment, then traveled 
up to fill the palm of his hand with soft, shimmering elven hair. "I do not 
think he wants you to suffer...to live through all those nights 
alone...there is no such cruelty in Legolas."

Saelbeth sighed and leaned into Haldir's hand on his back. Felt his body 
shudder by the sensation. A tension slowly building in his groin.

"I wish to believe you..." he whispered and closed his eyes again. Haldir's 
other hand moved up to rest on his chest. A light touch, he could hardly 
feel it through the fabric. Still, it was like his skin was on fire where 
the other's fingers touched him.

"Please, do" Haldir whispered, "I have known Legolas longer....better...than 
most." His fingers moved from Saelbeth's chest to trace his cheek. Still 
gentle. Still just a light, feathery touch. " At least believe this," he 
continued. "I would never hurt him. I love him..." His voice was sincere and 
low.

"I believe you," Saelbeth breathed and raised his head to give Haldir's  
fingers access to the soft skin on his neck.

"Good," Haldir smiled and leaned in. Painfully slowly, inch by inch, to 
press his moist lips against Saelbeth's neck.

Saelbeth moaned loudly and his arms encircled Haldir. One hand rested on his 
head, one across his shoulders, as he pressed the other elf closer. Drank in 
the scent of his hair. Enjoyed the sensation of the exploring lips, the 
moist tongue that painted invisible patterns on his heated skin; played with 
his pounding pulse. Strong teeth teased him. Nibbling at his sensitive 
flesh. Warm breath on his mouth, then; the kiss.
A kiss that made his knees go weak, stilling his breath, bringing forth a 
furious dragon that rose inside his body; spreading its warmth through every 
limb, forcing him to fall helplessly into the other elf. A lingering scent 
of red, ripe fruit and the sweetness of his mouth.

Haldir moaned in reply to his surrender, never letting go of Saelbeth's 
mouth. Their tongues entwined in a sensuous dance; sliding, caressing and 
teasing each other until both elves' faces were colored with passion's tint. 
Swollen lips let go of each other's embrace and bright, shiny eyes met in 
their place.  Saelbeth's breath sounded out, loud into the night. He 
steadied himself on Haldir's shoulders while trying to regain his balance. 
The intensity of the desire made the world spin around him. He had never 
known lust could be as overwhelming as this, it made him almost fear the 
unknown forces of his body. The complete lack of control.
Haldir saw his confusion. With a teasing smile he leaned in to Saelbeth and 
whispered in his ear:
"Don't be afraid, beautiful one...It's just lust...Lust, the Moon and  
I...and we won't hurt you."

"I know, I just..."

"Hush," Haldir interrupted him, leaning in for another kiss.  As he kissed 
every thought and the last traces of doubt away, Saelbeth couldn't help but 
press closer to the other elf. Push his hips closer to Haldir's, feel him 
where he needed it the most.

"That's my beautiful Saelbeth," Haldir chuckled and marveled at the 
eagerness of the other. The way he pressed his body to his own. The way his 
fingers tangled in his hair, the soft whimpers that came from his mouth.  
Haldir tucked a few, moist strands of Saelbeth's hair back behind his ear 
before settling fingers about the lacings of his tunic. Those long, slender 
fingers worked at the knots elegantly and soon the fabric fell from the 
younger elf's shoulders, exposing his bare, marble flesh to the night and 
Haldir's hungry eyes.
Haldir fingers moved across the soft skin, caught the nipples and squeezed 
them lightly before replacing his fingers with his lips. Forcing the other 
elf's body to respond eagerly; his fingers to slip under his tunic, circling 
silken nakedness with moist palms.

"Haldir!" Saelbeth moaned when the other's head moved lower down his torso, 
kissing and licking its way across his stomach, closer to his aching desire. 
  Haldir's fingers worked their magic again; clasps and lacings fell away 
under his experienced touch and revealed Saelbeth's lust; hard and proud in 
all it's glory.

Haldir chuckled again, but the laughter held no malice. He was on his knees 
in front of Saelbeth, looking up at him with sparkling eyes:

" Is this what you've been longing for?" He asked while his elegant fingers 
trailed the other elf's length, slowly, up and down.

"Yes," Saelbeth broke out in a shuddering whisper. His arms hung limp to 
each side of his body, his hair framed his face as he looked down at the 
scenario unfolding in front of him: Haldir's teasing eyes, his palm 
enveloping the pounding flesh, tightening the grip and stroking him hard, 
forcing pearly liquid out of him with every move.

Haldir's nostrils flared and his eyes darkened when he felt the moisture of 
Saelbeth's body leak and spread over his fingers. With a hungry expression, 
he leaned forward and took the length in to his mouth, making the other elf 
cry out in pleasure. Loud moans and sighs filled the night air around them 
as Haldir used his already proven skills and technique to continue to work 
Saelbeth in to an almost unbearable state of arousal. His hips moved, thrust 
into the wet, warm cave of Haldir's mouth. Every inch of the aching flesh 
demanding attention from the flirting tongue that flicked across the marble 
rod, licking off and consuming every drop of moisture his ministrations 
forced from the other elf's body. Sucking him in, hard.

Saelbeth found himself gasping for air while steadying himself against the 
stoned wall, unable to stand by himself, his legs were shaking, his whole 
body tense with pent up need.  Then suddenly Haldir stopped and moved his 
mouth away.
Saelbeth cried out in disappointment while the elf rose and stood in front 
of him. With burning eyes under half-closed lids he murmured teasingly;

"You can't have *all* the pleasure for yourself, Saelbeth , " and set about 
removing his heavy, red robes. "I want my share as well..." His voice was 
hot, it wrapped around Saelbeth's body, creating a new level of 
anticipation.
At last Haldir stood in front of him naked. The Moon showed her 
appreciation, caressing his skin with kisses, making him glow with a silvery 
light.
Saelbeth drew a breath, one thought echoing in his head. Never in his life 
had he seen anything as beautiful as the naked, elven warrior that stood 
before him now. And this beauty, this unique creature approached him! Slid 
his moonlit body against his own. Pressed his swollen desire against 
Saelbeth's. Proved his lust, his aching for him with a slight push of his 
hips. Kissed him madly. Held him close.
Saelbeth growled when the other's hands found and caressed his buttocks, his 
own hands busy exploring Haldir's back and thighs, getting accustomed to the 
feeling of the thick, silken hair across the back of his hands.

"Turn around," Haldir said huskingly, freeing himself from the other's 
embrace.
Saelbeth never even thought of refusing him. Willingly he turned around, 
leaning himself slightly into the wall. When Haldir's fingers moved down his 
spine and approached the space between his buttocks, he spread his legs 
without being told. He heard Haldir sigh behind him and caught the movement 
out of the corner of his eye as one of his hands reached out to the table to 
grasp a long glass bottle filled with pure oil.  He felt the oil hit his 
skin...Haldir held the bottle upside-down over the small of his back; 
creating a little river of golden oil that ran down his back, between his 
buttocks and further down, running between his thighs. Saelbeth gasped and 
shrugged as the chill liquid spread over his skin. Haldir's hand reached out 
in front of him and caressed him again with an oil slicked hand. His own 
hardness rubbed against Saelbeth backside, oiling them both further. Haldir 
breathed hot air into Saelbeth's ear, licking it slowly while his fingers 
slid inside of him, forcing his flesh apart. Saelbeth moaned and pressed 
himself against the fingers caressing him from inside. When Haldir replaced 
them with his slick, hard member he whimpered with lust. Spread his legs 
even more.
It felt like an eternity as Haldir pushed himself inch by inch inside him, 
it made him crave hungrily for him. He closed his eyes, leaning his forehead 
to the wall. It hurt as Haldir entered, but he gladly accepted it, as the 
jolts of pleasure that followed every second of pain were so overwhelming. 
So mind-blowingly pleasurable and *good*.

The elf behind him started to move slowly. He held Saelbeth's hips in as 
strong a grasp as the slick skin would allow. All the while sinking and 
rising inside the other elf's body. His breathing was heavy as he moved to a 
steady rhythm, pushing Saelbeth against the wall. He moved his arms to hold 
him around the chest. Locking his arms in his embrace while resting his head 
on his shoulder, forcing Saelbeth's body to bend a little further forward 
under his weight.
One hand slid down to caress Saelbeth's length again and all the time his 
hips rocked back and forth, in a steady rhythm. A rhythm that would force 
Saelbeth over the edge a lot faster than he wanted ... Suddenly he heard 
Haldir humming. Startled he tried to control his own breathing, his own 
moans of pleasure, enough to hear. It wasn't like any song he'd ever heard. 
There were words but he couldn't make them out. He became aware that the elf 
had become a bit rougher in his lovemaking too. His thrusts were a little 
harder, his hand held him tighter, milking him faster, with more fury.

"Say my name!" Haldir suddenly cried out in a low, almost shockingly sober 
voice that rang clear in the night.

"What?" Saelbeth questioned, an uncomfortable feeling now mingled with the 
lust. A nervous edge to the desire. "Why?" he continued between the hard 
thrusts that still drove his body closer to the edge, made his mind blur 
with pleasure.

"Say my name!" Haldir repeated, this time with a little more warmth but 
still disturbingly distant. Disturbingly...strained.

"Haldir," Saelbeth said. And then; cried it out as Haldir squeezed and 
pushed at the same time and made Saelbeth's world explode in bursting stars.
Two more thrusts and Haldir followed. Filled Saelbeth's body with creamy 
white liquid and his ear with a low, sensuous chuckle as the waves subsided 
in his body. The world fell back in place.

Haldir rested against Saelbeth's back and didn't move until he felt the 
other elf shiver.

"I'm sorry..." he said, "you must be as exhausted as I am." He took the 
other's hand in his and dragged him down to the floor with him. Facing him  
he kissed his lips and smiled at him. Held him close for a long while.

"Did you like it?" he asked at last, looking Saelbeth in the eye.

"Yes, " Saelbeth smiled honestly and laced his fingers in Haldir's. "It was 
wonderful...you are so beautiful!" he burst out. "But what was that you  
sang?"

" I sang to the earth, " Haldir said. " You haven't heard that song before?"

"No..."

"It is old... Older than you...and me..." Haldir trailed off, his hand  
played in Saelbeth's hair again.

"And your name..." Saelbeth felt an unexplainable urge to get the answers  
before he could rest. Overcome the odd coldness, the chill he had sensed 
from  Haldir...not evil, but strange. Alien to his senses...He had to know 
why.

"I..." Haldir started while lowering his lids, looking at Saelbeth 
mischievously, while a wicked, yet shameful smile curved his lips. "wanted 
to make sure you didn't think about our beloved prince while making love to 
me." He smiled, his fingers still working in Saelbeth's unruly hair.

Saelbeth' s eyes widened in surprise. He felt a sudden tenderness for the  
elf in front of him, and a streak of guilt as well. "Of course I didn't!" he 
said and stroked Haldir's cheek. " I didn't think  about anyone 
else...please, don't think that!"

" I don't..now!" Haldir laughed and placed a kiss on his lips. His hand 
reached down between Saelbeth's thighs and gathered some of the juices that 
had slipped out of his body after their lovemaking. With a playful smile he 
smeared it across Saelbeth's chest.  "Now my scent will linger on your 
skin," he smiled. " Tonight you are  mine...completely."

Saelbeth laughed joyfully and dragged Haldir in for another embrace.

*********

Legolas woke up with a scream. He rose from the bed and put on a robe before 
even stopping to think. He felt dizzy and his head was hot. A sickness shot 
from his belly, making him press a hand to his mouth. A mouth filled with 
the too strong, too sweet taste, of red apples.

The joyful scream that had wakened him rang in his ears while he sank down 
to the floor still with his palm pressed to his mouth. "Haldir!" it echoed 
in his head. "Haldir!" and then a sudden burst of fire in his body.

Legolas opened his robe and felt between his thighs, almost afraid of what 
he'd find. The evidence of the dream; cold and sticky on his skin.

He recalled the dream in his mind. Played it over again. The feeling of 
being pushed against a wall. Hard thrusts into his body, pleasurable beyond 
belief, a growing tenseness in his loins. And then the sudden call; 
"Haldir...Haldir!" As his body twitched and exploded with pleasure.

But why the sickness? Why did he feel so sick? And the overwhelming taste of 
apples that filled the cave of his mouth. He felt the uneasiness build as he 
got up from the floor, closed his robe again and started pacing up and down 
the floor, trying to get the sickness under control, along with the despair. 
He felt restless, and a growing suspicion that something about this dream 
wasn't right grew as he opened the door and left his chamber. Determined to 
find some water, his friends and maybe some comfort.

He didn't have to search for long; as soon as he had passed the first corner 
of the corridor he ran in to Saelbeth. He came fully clothed up the stairs, 
probably headed for his room.
When he saw Legolas his eyes widened in surprise.

"Legolas," he said. His voice unusually pitched. "Why are you here? Is 
something wrong?"

Legolas drew a breath, to tell him he had had a nightmare, but suddenly  
something else caught his attention. Made him freeze where he stood. The 
scent! As if he didn't know that scent...It flooded towards him, wrapped him 
in it. Screamed the truth in his face.

"You have been with Haldir...he has had you..."Legolas said. His voice held 
no emotions. It was cold and dry. Empty.

Saelbeth smiled a little smile that died before it could blossom upon his 
lips.

"How...?" He started out, stopping when he realized that he knew very well.

Legolas answered anyway;

"His scent..." he said in the same, empty voice. "It's raw upon your 
skin...and what is that?" He pointed to Saelbeth's neck. "Bite marks aren' t 
they?" His eyes left the other, empty now of all expression. Empty and dry 
as his voice. "His passion has been bestowed upon you. You carry his mark as 
any creature in the fields. He lingers in the air around you...Yes, you 
certainly are blessed!"

And with those words he turned and walked back to his room. Ignored 
Saelbeth's voice as he called out for him. The sickness was back, making him 
a little unsteady before he reached his chambers. He didn't relax and let 
the tears come until the door was securely locked behind him. Then, he 
cried.

He knew the voice in the dream, and it wasn't his own.  It was *his*: 
Saelbeth's.
How could he have been so blind? Was he about to lose them both now? Because 
he loved one of them and was loved by the other?
How could Saelbeth be so cruel? How could he send him this token of defeat? 
This dream of passion. It wasn't like him at all. Maybe he hadnt meant to, 
he argued with himself, maybe it was a mistake. Maybe, Saelbeth simply 
thought of Legolas at the right, or wrong, moment, and then...cried out 
Haldir's name?

Legolas tears fell silent. Salty crystals ran across the fingers he held 
clutched to his mouth; locking the taste of red, ripe fruits inside.

Yes, this *was* his dream...Legolas' dream...and once again someone else's> 
reality.
Could he ever truly love Saelbeth now that he had had what Legolas so 
desperately longed to have?
The one thing Legolas wanted the most. The one thing everybody *but* him 
seemed to get...the bitterness was an old friend when it came to settle in 
his heart once more. An old friend he knew too well. One he had learned to 
live with before, and would do so again.

This love was lost, he knew that. For the answer to the question was no.

It could never be him, Saelbeth. He could not love him. Not now.

*********************

It was the day of Haldir's departure from Mirkwood. Legolas embraced him for 
a long time, rested his forehead against his. Allowed him to see his sorrow, 
his tears...

"Don't cry, my dearest," Haldir said. "We will see each other again soon...I 
promise..."

"I hope so," Legolas replied, running his hands through his hair. "I will 
miss you..." he said.

"And I will, always, miss you..." Haldir swore as he returned the gesture> 
and caressed Legolas forehead with his thumbs.
His eyes wandered to find Saelbeth standing a little behind the couple. His 
eyes to the ground, no expression visible on his face.

"Be kind to him," Haldir said to Legolas in a low voice. "Don't punish him  
for my mistake..."

Legolas eyes grew stern;

"It wasn't your mistake, Haldir. If he couldn't wait for me, then he wasn't 
the one..."

"Aren't you a little hard on him now? "

Legolas sighed;

"I don't know...It just doesn't feel right...anymore."

"You must do as your heart bids you, my prince...But look at him; he is so 
sad..."

" I know, Haldir, I know. And I will be gentle...I promise."

"You never asked me why?"

Legolas smiled a sad little smile before asking;

"Why Haldir, why did you do it? Why him?"

"Because he was lonely...because he longed so for you it was like an open 
wound in his mind...I couldn't stand looking at it. Five years is a long 
time, Legolas...and you weren't even close to putting him out of his 
misery... "

Five years is not a century, Legolas thought, but said nothing, just nodded 
to the other elf's words:

" I know," he said. " I am just as much to blame for this as he."

" Given time..." Haldir suggested but Legolas just shook his head. Silenced 
him with that gesture.

******************

Saelbeth followed him to the gate, walked silently beside his horse.

"Are you afraid?" Haldir asked. "Of being here alone with him, without me?"

"Yes..." Saelbeth whispered.

" It could pass Saelbeth...I really hope that it will...You are so pure, so 
kind, you deserve to be loved." His voice was warm, filled with concern and 
something else, something close to affection.

" Why is it only me he treats like this? He hasn't mentioned a word of it 
since that night, still I can see it in his eyes, hear it in his 
voice...He's accusing me, he holds a grudge against me. But not against you, 
why is that?"

"Maybe he doesn't love me as he loves you," Haldir suggested.

"Or maybe he loves you more!" Bitterness and suspicion seeped through 
Saelbeth's voice as he spoke.

His eyes seemed older, Haldir thought, older and deeper.

"Saelbeth," he started. "I am truly sorry, had I known he would react  like 
this, I would never..."

"I believe you!" Saelbeth interrupted. "I believe you because the 
alternative is too cruel to think about." With those last words he turned 
and left without another look at the Lorien elf.

************************

The little elven child sat by the gate. When Haldir passed he looked up and 
said in a loud, clear voice:   " That wasn't fair!"

Haldir stopped and gave the child a long stare.

" No, it wasn't, " he replied.

"Are you some kind of wizard?" the child asked with innocent eyes.

Haldir tried to force a smile to his lips. An ironic smirk was the best he  
could do.

"No..." he answered in a tired voice: " I've just lived for a long time, 
that's all..."

"Will he heal?" the child asked after a while.

"They both will," Haldir replied. "In time..."

And so Haldir of Lorien left the Elven Kingdom of Mirkwood.

*********************************

Epilogue:



As Haldir passed through the forest his thoughts drifted back to a morning  
over fifty years earlier.
That morning that had ruined it all, had been the  final test; a test that 
he had failed and so brought all of this upon them:

He and Legolas had been on one of their travels and had spent several nights 
on the forest floor. They hadn't set any guard that night since they were 
both weary and trusted their elven senses. Nothing in the air had prepared 
him, he thought, nothing had whispered of what was to come. Nothing told him 
he would wake up with his arms filled with Legolas.
A naked, warm body against his own. Golden strands of hair tickling his 
skin. Fluttering eyelashes, a heaving breath. Never had he been so 
beautiful, Haldir thought, as in that moment. In his arms.
Tempting, moist lips so close to his own, the evidence of his desire proudly 
greeting the morning air. Haldir had flung his arm and leg over him in his 
sleep, now he was grinding his own arousal against the prince's body. Unable 
to stop himself, tension already building up inside as he continued the 
movements, letting himself slide against the other's long longed for body 
while a hiss escaped his lips and his body twitched with the sensation.

He wanted to have him, right there, right then. To roll on top of him and 
separate his legs, claim his lips with his own, ravage the moist cave of his 
mouth with his tongue. Even better; fill his own mouth with Legolas' desire, 
hear him moan beneath him, feel him shudder as he came, before claiming him 
as his, Haldir's alone. Invade his body, all his senses with himself...
Haldir had to struggle to keep from coming as the thoughts and images 
tumbled in his mind. Had to grit his teeth to keep from screaming, hold his 
hands back with force, not act upon his desires to push the other elf more 
firmly to the ground, keep him in place and have him. And his hips were 
still moving, his erection leaving moist trails on the other's heated skin.
Haldir moaned, and Legolas woke up.

That's when he should have done it, Haldir thought now. That's when he 
should have broken the spell, forgotten all about himself and his dark 
destiny, the predictions from the past and just...kept his eyes open, met 
Legolas' gaze as he opened his. Instead he had pretended to be asleep, so 
afraid, he thought now with a shake of his head. He wished he had been 
braver, then...never had he been so close. He wished he had been braver now, 
this time...but he hadn't been. He wished fate hadn't been so cruel. 
Wondered how long it would take for the desire to outgrow the fear. For his 
love to grow strong enough to let him forget about himself, all the haunting 
images from the past.
If he ever would hold Legolas as a lover, again...

That morning he had forced his breathing into a sleeping rhythm. He had felt 
Legolas tense beside him. Sweat break out on his skin. He had heard the 
whimpering sounds as the reality of the situation broke through and Legolas 
realized what was happening.

When the first sounds of pleasure burst from Legolas' lips, Haldir had 
sighed with relief. Still grinding his hips towards him, unable to stop 
himself; unable to stop his fingers from tangling in the beautiful, golden 
hair. Rest his lips on the soft skin that was Legolas' neck. Smell his 
scent, taste his skin. He couldn't hold back the murmurs either; soft 
exclamations of love that rolled off his lips before he could stop them.

He felt Legolas shudder beside him. Then move; roll over to face him. Haldir 
could feel his breath on his lips; his firmness against his own and a 
frivolous joy filled his heart and mind as the sensation of their bodies 
together overwhelmed his senses. He pulled Legolas closer, heard his 
heartbeat: Loud and fast, felt it pounding against his chest...He had 
actually given in at that point, he thought now. As his lips moved over 
Legolas' skin in search of his mouth he knew he wouldn't be able to keep up 
the pretense. And as much as it scared him it had been a relief too, to know 
that in just a matter of seconds he would claim his Legolas. Have him. Love 
him...

"Gods, no!" Legolas uttered beside him and Haldir froze. He doesn't want 
this, panicked thoughts surfaced in his head. He doesn't desire this! Shame 
and confusion battled in his mind as he quickly rolled back, still 
pretending to be asleep. Praising himself, feeling lucky that he hadn't 
revealed himself, that he hadn't opened his eyes.

He heard Legolas rise beside him. Rise and leave the nest of blankets, 
stumble backwards as if Haldir was a plague...and then, he came back. Haldir 
felt Legolas' gaze upon his body. Heard him fall to his knees beside him. 
Heard his shuddering breath and felt the warmth of his skin as he straddled 
him, the muffled cry when he came and that one, warm drop of liquid that 
missed Legolas's palm and fell to Haldir's sensitive skin.

He *does* want me, was all he could think then. He does...and now it's too 
late...

When he heard Legolas light footsteps leave the camp and run off into the 
forest when the act was completed, Haldir opened his eyes. The white, pearly 
liquid on his belly was still warm. With a bittersweet sadness he dipped his 
finger in the fluid and lifted it to his lips. Tasted Legolas' desire for 
him for the first and only time. The rest of the shiny drop he smeared into 
his skin. Wanted to absorb it, make what was left of it a part of him.

This was a chance that he had passed on. And now, he was too afraid... With 
a sigh he remembered a time when love and life was easier, a time before 
Legolas Greenleaf was born...

*********************

He set camp right outside the borders of Mirkwood, still sheltered by the 
tall, dark trees.
As the night fell he left his little fire and went into the wood.
He knelt down and dug a small hole in the ground, shoveled the moist earth 
away with eager fingers. Then he dropped the little mithril knife down in 
the hole and covered it with soft blackness.

"Forgive me," he whispered. "I did not know what else to do..." He rose, his 
head and his eyes roamed the night sky. "Maybe Saelbeth was my punishment..." 
he started. "and Legolas' reward...But...," his head dropped down, his eyes 
rested on the wooden floor before him;" but I *can not* let him go...Not 
yet.."

"Not ever", the wood whispered back in his head as he shed the first, 
glittery tear and saw it fall to the ground.

The End