Title: The King’s Property (1-21/?)
Author: Red Autumn (red_autumn21@yahoo.com)
Pairings: Legolas/Aragorn, Arwen/Aragorn (implied)
Rating: PG-13 to NC17 – Slash, Rape, Angst, Dark
Thoughts, Violence, MPREG.
Summary: A tale of a young prince.  (Legolas’ POV)
Warning: Very, very dark.  Lots of graphic physical
and mental descriptions.  PLEASE, PLEASE HEED THE
WARNINGS.
Disclaimer: All Tolkien’s characters created by him
belonged only to him.  I only borrowed them to bring
to life my fantasy universe.
NOTE: This fic is AU  (Galadriel has no power / No
rings existed / No Sauron or Mordor)
Thanks to beta readers Enigma Jade and Anu Anu.

Special warnings:  Not for the faint hearted, meaning
if you can't handle the graphic descriptions, don't
read it.  Just delete this email.  Also, you have to
be open minded about what I write here.
First three parts are rated PG-13 to R (depending on
you).  The rest would be NC17 (again, depending on
you).  Confusing?  I think so!
Thanks so much.



1.  The Return To Imladris

The sound of hooves thundered through the forest,
trampling the leaf-littered ground and sending them
into a blizzard of foliage storm behind us.  The
ground shook with the force of six horses as we rode
recklessly yet expertly, almost seeming to float were
someone to observe us from afar.

Creatures of all sizes fled from our path in a frenzy
unless they chose to be crushed or flattened.  Birds
flapped and zipped around irritably as our unintended
quake upset their nests.

The sky had been grey all week and temperature cooler
as the wind from the north traveled over the Misty
Mountains, bringing more cold air.  This was to be
expected because it was already autumn.

The woods surrounding us were already changing their
colours to every tone of gold, red and brown. 
Everywhere leaves rained down around us, adding a
magical touch to the atmosphere.

When I closed my eyes, I could feel an air of
melancholy encircling me as if the very nature was
bidding farewell to the old or dying, and yet if I
stretched my hearing senses, I could hear that
everything about me was actually alive.  The sound of
leaves snapping off from their branches and twirling
down before finally landing gently on the forest floor
was enchanting.  The boughs creaking in the winds
sounded like they were playing an ancient song that no
one knew when it started.

However, we were no longer awe-inspired by it.  After
traveling for two weeks from Mirkwood, my five equally
blond companions and I were anxious to get to
Imladris.  They were soldiers who were specially
handpicked for the task as bodyguards.  Ada had
stubbornly insisted on a heavy convoy for my first
trip alone but after much pleading and protesting, I
had managed to trim it down to the five best.

Since my youth, ada had always been over-protective
over me.  I never had much opportunity to leave
Mirkwood as the threats of unrest outside the border
became more apparent.

Whenever I did get the chance, I was only a tag-along
and would be ordered to stay close to my brothers or
ada.  I was dismayed at being treated like a
defenseless child.  However despite all the whining
and complaining, one glare from ada’s stern face made
me stop because it meant that either I go escorted or
I had to stay back in the palace.

Right now, the joy of freedom from ada’s constant
supervision lifted my heart with ecstasy.  For the
moment, we were free to release all inhibitions and be
impulsive.

As in elven customs, we do not ride our horses with
contraptions to control the horse’s movement.  Their
spirits were too wild to take such insults.  As a
result, we straddled them on their bare backs.

While on Rynal, I could feel the glistening white
flanks moving fluidly and with ease; its muscles
rippling under the strain.  The dark mane flew
carelessly whenever the wind changed directions, as I
too loved the way my long hair whipped about me when I
urged Rynal to gallop faster.  We were two souls
sharing the same passion.

By high noon (from guessing the position of Anar) we
were almost coming out of the forest.  We should be
near the border of Imladris by now for I can feel the
changes in the air and the familiar smell of the
woods.  My heart soared with excitement by that
knowledge.

Urging my comrades to ride faster, we soon came upon a
shallow river impeding our way forward.  Immediately,
I held up my fisted right hand and everyone came to a
stop just by the riverbank.  Maneuvering swiftly, they
began surrounding me protectively.  All eyes were
everywhere, searching for any hidden dangers.

While gazing lazily at the river, I noticed that the
water was lapping to the shore trying to touch the
horses’ legs.  To an unsuspecting trespasser, it
seemed harmless but I knew better.  It was Imladris’
first protective barrier.  Should it decide not to
like us, we would soon find ourselves swept away by a
huge, tidal wave.  So far I heard no one had ever
survived it.

Satisfied that we were no enemy, the river calmed down
and flowed innocently away as if nothing had happened.
 

Straining my hearing, I caught faint, melodious voices
hanging eerily in the air.  No one would find Imladris
if it did not want to be found for it was also
protected by magic.  Stray intruders would just pass
through an empty, gloomy forest without knowing that
they had walked on one of the realms of the elves.

“We’ve arrived,” I stated.  “I don’t think any of
Rivendell’s border patrollers will stop us from
entering,” I added as I looked around for one last
time.

“Hhmm....I cannot wait to get there so we can have a
proper hot meal tonight,” someone commented.  I
recognised the serious voice was from Tanhision.  He
was the oldest and most experienced among us. 
However, sometimes his strong sense of duty and
responsibility over my safety was too much.

I smiled at his remark.  Personally I agree with him
because we were all getting tired of eating lembas and
the small animals we caught along the way.  Our
cooking skills were however, something we would not
brag about.

“And no more burnt meat,” Vanacor added dryly.

“Oh yes”, I concur wholeheartedly.  “I cannot wait to
taste the infamous Imladris’ cuisine,” added another
cheerily.  This time it was Morethir but we all call
him Prince Melme for he has too much fondness for
beautiful she-elves.  Besides that, he was full of
bubbly spirits and the most talkative that we were
once compelled to jump on him and gag him when he
became unbearable.

“It’s more likely you can’t wait to meet that she-elf
you’ve been mumbling in your sleep almost every night.
 Oh, Nurlhawwen, my sweet Nurlly,” Mallhaw teased in a
whiney voice and all of us laughed heartily.  Then he
started making kissing sounds that even Tanhision
snorted at.

Mallhaw was the funniest and I liked him very much. 
We often exchanged a lot of jokes and sometimes gang
up to tease ‘old’ Tanhision.  At first he was calm and
in control but we proved to be too much for him and
one day he chased us all over the forest to ‘punish’
us for our disrespect for the seniors.

“Race you all!” I exclaimed suddenly and spurred Rynal
to get going.

“Hey!” they shouted after me.  “After him!” Mallhaw
yelled and made a high pitched ululating cry.

Turning around to look at them, I saw determined but
happy faces staring back at me.  I stuck out my tongue
at them and laughed impishly before prodding Rynal to
run faster.  Nevertheless they caught up with me
easily.

I was looking forward to seeing Lord Elrond and his
twin sons – Elladan and Elrohir, again.  I had not
visited them for close to three and a half centuries. 
It was quite short for an elven standard but I missed
them a lot just the same.

There had never been a day that I did not miss
frolicking under one of the waterfalls or playing
pranks on Lord Glorfindel, the blond seneschal to
Elrond; and Lord Erestor, the Last Homely House’s
Chief Steward.  In short, I was really growing up, as
a young elf should.

However, my visit this time was more formal.  When I
had just passed my majority initiation a season ago,
ada bade me to go to Rivendell for a few years so that
I may tutor under Lord Elrond as his protégé.  I was
excited of course by the idea of coming back to
Rivendell.  Not only would I get to see everyone
again, I would spend the endless hours at night
sneaking into the Lord of Imladris’ library to read.

FLASHBACK

The first time I accompanied ada to Imladris, I was
only an elfling.  Being surrounded constantly by adult
elves, ada thought that it would be healthier if I
could have friends of similar age to me.

My heart broke when ada left without me, to go back to
Mirkwood because I had never left home and ada had
always been my constant companion.  Nonetheless I soon
discovered that the twin Princes of Rivendell who,
even though they were much older than I was, were very
nice and kind to me; and after that I did not think of
going back to Mirkwood until fifty years later.

It was first proposed that I become Arwen’s playmate,
as we were almost of the same age.  She was Lord
Elrond’s youngest child.  However, by some fluke fate,
I never met her while I was there.  Apparently she had
decided to stay with her grandparents in Lothlorien.

I heard many wonderful and magical stories about the
Golden Wood when I was young.  I would really like to
go there someday.  The invitation was extended to me
and still stands as I have yet to visit it.  The
invitation came from the most unexpected person I
could imagine.

One day while fencing with Elladan at the training
field, an elf came to meet us there.  I stopped
whatever I was doing because this new comer who was
walking steadily and proudly toward us entranced me.

From the colour of his uniform and the regalia sewn on
the grey tunic, I knew immediately that he was a
Marchwarden of the Galadhrim of Lothlorien.  My heart
pounded fast, sending adrenalin all over my body as
the elf with almost white hair came up to stand in
front of us.

He gave a low bow, his face expressionless.  We
inclined slightly in return.  I was aware that Elladan
was regarding me amusedly.  I must have appeared silly
with my wide-eyed, unashamed stares at the Galadhrim.

“This is Prince Legolas of Mirkwood, youngest son of
King Thranduil,” Elladan introduced us.  “And this is
Haldir, Marchwarden of Lothlorien for Lord Celeborn
and Lady Galadriel.”

“It is an honour to meet you, Prince Legolas,” said
the Galadhrim.  His voice was sure and unhurried.

I did not realise he was addressing me until I felt
Elladan poking me in the ribs with his elbow.  I was
so awe-struck by this elf as he stood magnificently
and with an air of nobility about him.  Only two other
elves had ever made me admire them in such an avid
manner – my father and Lord Elrond.

“Oh…as well as mine,” I answered rather hastily.  As
he was tall, I had to crane my neck to look up.

“I see that you are both training sword fighting,” he
spoke again while looking at our mock, blunt swords. 
“Have you been training well since the last time I saw
you, Elladan?”

“Yes, of course,” Elladan said huffily.  “Lets have a
round, shall we?”

“Very well,” Haldir accepted the challenge.  “May I?”
he added as he looked at me and reached out a hand,
palm upwards as if waiting for something to land on
it.

“Oh, yes,” I answered, realizing that he wanted my
sword.  I quickly stepped aside and watched them as
they fenced fiercely.

From the agility of his wrist and the nimbleness of
his steps, the older elf was clearly the expert. 
Elladan was the aggressor most of the time but Haldir
easily parried all incoming slashes and jabs.  It was
fascinating to watch them move so fast and expertly.

All too soon, they stopped fencing and stood across
from each other.  Elladan was slightly out of breath
but the marchwarden was still calm and breathing
evenly.  They stared at each other silently.

“You are good Elladan.  Keep it up,” Haldir spoke
finally, a smile graced his haughty features; the
first smile that I had seen from him.  “And how about
you Prince Legolas?  Are you as good as Elladan?”

I blushed faintly as his bluish-grey eyes pierced into
mine.

“No,” I answered, struggling with difficulty to
compose myself.  “I am better in archery though.”

“Oh?  I have heard that archers from Mirkwood are well
known for their aim.  Are you one of them?”

“Not really.  My brothers think that I am a bit too
young to be able to hold a bow properly,” I confessed.

“Age is not a hindrance.  It all lies in the eyes and
the posture,” said Haldir.  “It is almost time for
lunch now.  Perhaps after the meal, we could have a
few practices shots?”

I beamed happily that a legendary marchwarden from the
Golden Woods had expressed his interest in my skills
in archery.

“Yes, of course,” I answered ecstatically.

As agreed, after lunch we trudged together to the
field to test each other’s skills.  The twins followed
us too, but not because they wanted to practice. 
Rather, they wanted to watch us compete.

That afternoon, I learned that Haldir’s passion was
like mine – archery.  We became good friends quickly
and spent a lot of time together practicing at the
fields. I was not as good as Haldir yet but he was
clearly impressed by my potentials.  He gave me
several pieces of advice on how to improve myself and
I listened to him appreciatively.

However, as duty called, he soon had to leave
Rivendell, though he promised to look for me whether I
would be in Rivendell or back in Mirkwood.  He also
did not forget to invite me to Lothlorien and I
accepted without hesitation.

I was sad to see him go but was glad that I had made a
friend from the Golden Wood.  Until today, he still
remains my one and only friend from Lothlorien.

I had also made lots of friends with the elves of
Rivendell as everyone had treated me like one of their
own.  The twins took me in as their younger brother
while Lord Elrond guided me like a father.

Ada was pleased to hear that I had enjoyed myself
while in Imladris but he was surprised when I wrote to
him one day to ask for permission if I could stay
longer.  Of course, ada never denied me anything –
well, almost never.

Secretly I knew the other reason ada gave his
permission readily to my request; it was so that I
could get out of his hair for a while and especially
Firith’s, my eldest brother and a Crown Prince of
Mirkwood, while he was being groomed to be the future
heir.

Nevertheless, the fifty years passed by swiftly and I
had to return home.  As I had grown up a lot since I
left Mirkwood, I was immediately put into training for
all the princely duties that I must perform in the
palace.

Sometimes when I find life as a prince difficult, I
would sneak a brief respite by daydreaming of the
pleasant and happy memories of Imladris.  I treasured
them always in my mind.  My brothers often caught my
reverie and they teased me that I should move to
Rivendell permanently.

They could never understand what I had experienced
until they met the twins and Haldir one day, when they
came to visit me in Mirkwood.  I was pleased to find
out later that they too liked them very much and had
even forged close brotherly ties among them.

Of course it pleased the older elves to find the new
generation forming friendly alliances among the three
realms.  All the elves in Middle-Earth should be
reunited again for the sake of our survival and our
continuing existence.

END OF FLASHBACK

The moment we rounded the bend of the mountainside,
all of us stopped to admire the grandness lay out in
front of us.  The scene was as if we had stepped into
another world, possibly even into a painted canvas.

It took all our breath away as we watched the low
hanging clouds slowly drifting away, revealing the
magnificent forever-snow capped Misty Mountains that
stretched across the entire length behind Imladris. 
The thousands of waterfalls that surrounded the
valley, from the trickling droplets to the most
splendid cascades over the tall precipice, added an
even more dramatic effect.

A long silver river cut through the deep dale, adding
more cataracts along the way and the rest snaking its
way behind the bluffs.  I had swam in that stream many
times and could not wait to take a dip in its cool and
crystal clear water again.

The most splendid natural wonder of Imladris was the
climate.  Being protected all around by the towering
mountains and cliffs, the valley was cut off from the
rest of the world, including the weather.  Imladris
was rarely affected by the harsh elements outside. 
Its temperature was always mild and the air fresh.

Another strange occurrence was that the moisture from
all the waterfalls combined had created constant
colourful rainbows that shimmered in the sky above
most part of the day.  This effect would not wear off
until Anar hid behind the clouds or set behind the
mountains.

As our eyes roamed through the green valley, we found
the Last Homely House standing proud against one side
of a low hanging cliff opposite from where we stood. 
The elven architecture complemented perfectly to the
surrounding nature.

Many species of plants and trees grew all around the
buildings but the most eye-catching sight was the
lined Cyprus trees planted along the flattened-stone
road leading to the main gate.  We could also see a
garden hidden partially behind a tall domed tower.

Eager to finish the last leg of the journey, we rode
down the mountain in single file, as the paths leading
to Lord Elrond’s dwellings were narrow.

I was the first to reach the black, sparkling stone
fort.  It was a wonder how the elves of Imladris had
managed to transport such a large quantity of these
strange stones to build the fort.  The guards
immediately pull back the heavy wrought-iron gates and
allowed us to enter.  After we passed under the
stilted archway completely covered with vines, I saw a
group of elves that stood at the bottom of the
stone-stacked steps, waiting for us.

My heart fluttered joyfully when I counted four
dark-haired elves and a blond, all dressed in official
robes of Imladris’ colour, grinning warmly as they saw
us approaching.

The moment I got off Rynal, two identical elves ran
forward to greet me.  At first, I did not realise they
were Elladan and Elrohir for they had matured into
adulthood and looked very handsome.  They embraced me
so tightly and ecstatically that I was practically
lifted off the ground.

“Our baby elf has returned!” exclaimed Elladan.  “Ai,
what a big escort!” he added when he turned to look at
my companions.  “Is your ada worried that no one would
change your diapers?”

I could clearly see that my friends were not amused by
the jest but held their tongues out of respect for all
the other Lords standing not far away from us.

“No, Elladan.  They are here to make sure YOU don’t
try to change my diapers!” I retorted with a grin.

“Aiya, Legolas.  How could you hurt me like that? 
Don’t you trust me to change them for you?” the older
twin made a mock hurt look on his face but I caught
him giving his brother a mischievous wink.  Elrohir
chose to ignore him.   “I could powder your bottom
too!”

“Never mind him, Legolas.  Welcome back to Rivendell. 
We’ve all missed you a lot,” interrupted Elrohir and
he hugged me again.

“I agree with Elrohir.  Elladan stop harassing him,”
chastised Lord Elrond good-naturedly

When I was finally able to untangle myself from the
twins, I walked up to Elrond and bowed respectfully. 
Unexpectedly, he hugged me warmly like a father.  The
Lord of Imladris had never shown much public
affections before and his actions surprised me.  “I’m
glad to see you again Legolas.  It has been such a
long time.”

“I apologize for not visiting you more often Lord
Elrond.  Ada has been giving me more duties in the
palace and I had to help Firith too,” I replied after
getting over my astonishment.

“That is all right, mellon-neth. [young friend]  You
have grown up a lot,” Lord Elrond said, regarding me
closely.  I blushed bashfully under his scrutiny.

“And I am sure Legolas will not play anymore childish
pranks on the eldars, now that he has passed his
majority?” interrupted Lord Glorfindel suddenly.

Giggles erupted around us as we remembered what the
twins and I had done to him.  Even Lord Erestor smiled
sheepishly despite the fact that he was also not
spared from our practical jokes.

I went to the blond eldar first and placed a hand on
his right shoulder as our customary way of greeting
each other between two adults.  It felt strange to
greet him in such manner because I was consciously
reminded that he had always regarded me as his little
Legolas. After that, I greeted Lord Erestor in the
same manner.

“Let’s let our visitors clean up first and then we
shall meet for dinner,” announced Lord Elrond.

I nodded my head and immediately the twins sauntered
up to my sides and sandwiched me between them.  I
noticed that Elladan was already holding my traveling
bag on his right hand.  While we walked up the steps
toward the main Receiving Hall where I had passed by
so many times years ago, the rest of my companions
were lead to the stable by two young elves who
appeared at that moment, to take care of the horses
and then carry the traveling packs into the manor.

At the end of the short hallway, we came to a
junction.  The three elders took the left corridor
towards the main part of the manor while we turned to
the right toward the private wings.  The twins
accompanied me to my ‘old’ room.

“Nothing has changed since you left,” said Elrohir as
we entered the chamber.

“We made sure it stayed that way,” added Elladan and
he threw my pack on the floor.

I was too distracted reliving my old memories that I
did not notice the twins crept up from behind me and
tackled me onto the bed.  I fell, face down with the
two Princes of Rivendell on top of me.

“Ai, tua! [help]” I cried, laughing loudly as they
tickled me mercilessly.  

“Lye lava? [Do you yield/surrender]” growled one of
them as they stopped for a mere moment for me to catch
my breath.

“Never!”  I tried to get up and push them off me but
with two against one it was impossible to do so,
especially when I was below them.

“Attack!” shouted Elladan and he started to scratch my
sides while he was seated on my thighs.  Meanwhile his
brother held my wrists above my head, laughing until
his face turned red.

“Amin lava!  Amin lava! [I yield/surrender!]” I
pleaded at last.  I had been laughing so much that I
could not breathe and my belly was aching terribly.

Mercifully, the twins stopped their tickling. However,
they suddenly burst out laughing even louder than
before, clutching their bellies and rolled off me.

“What is so funny?” I panted raggedly, confused by
their behaviour.  Using the back of my hand, I wiped
away my tears.

Neither could answer me but Elladan managed to point
shakily to the mirror.  Curiously I walked over to the
full-length mirror beside the bathroom door and looked
into it.  I yelped and jumped back, causing the twins
to laugh even louder and thrash on the bed furiously.

I was not aware how disheveled I looked.  My hair was
sticking out as if after being struck by lighting and
my face red as a cherry.

“That’s not funny!” I cried indignantly.

“It is!” panted Elladan, wiping his tears and trying
to stop laughing.

“I’m taking a bath,” I said and stormed into the
bathroom.

“Lye hiraetha, [We’re sorry] Legolas,” Elrohir’s voice
came muffled from behind the door.  “Really!”  But I
could still hear Elladan’s snorts.

“All right.  I’m not angry,” I answered though I could
not hide my smile.  “Can you wait for me till I finish
cleaning up?”

“Yes.  We’ll be here,” Elrohir said.

I was tempted to soak myself in the bathtub for hours
but I had to prepare myself quickly for the dinner
with Lord Elrond.  When I stepped out of the misty
room, the brothers were laying on my bed conversing
quietly.

As I was quite used to putting on my clothes in front
of them, I was not ashamed even now.  I picked up my
pack and rummaged inside for a pair of clean clothes. 
Then I dropped my towel and began putting on my
leggings first.

Suddenly, I heard loud gasps and I looked up.  Both my
childhood friends were looking at me wide-eyed, their
mouths hanging open.

In a flash of recognition, I remembered that I was no
longer the elfling they knew but had grown up and my
body had matured.

My face turned hot with embarrassment and I quickly
turned around.  I grabbed the towel to cover myself
and picked up the rest of the clothing before I hopped
into the bathroom to put them on.

When I appeared again, there was an awkward silence. 
All of us realised that we had changed and things
could not remain the same as before.  We were all
suddenly adults and had our own destiny to achieve and
fulfill.


2.  A Meeting Between The King Of Men And The Prince Of The Woodland
Realm

Bright lights splashed out onto the wide corridor, through the main
entrances of the huge Dining Hall.  There were no doors to enclose the
hall, only chiseled horseshoe arches supported by seven white marble
pillars detailing elven maidens, separated the chamber from the
outside.  Voices and laughter floated from within.  I did not know that
there would be so many people tonight.

When I walked past the first column and looked inside, I saw the
throngs of elves and a few men already crowded at various places around
the room.  Many were holding glasses of whatever beverages they were
drinking and chatting away.  Occasionally the sound of someone laughing
loudly pierced through the clamors and the mellow background music.

Hundreds of wax candles burned on the many bronze-gilt candelabras
placed around the chamber and leaf detailed chandeliers hanging midway
from the high ceiling.  The tiny crystal droplets beneath the
chandeliers reflected lights around the room, giving an effect of
magical sparkles on the gold-bordered walls.

A discreet alcove with a roaring fire on a pile of logs set at the
opposite wall to the main entrances seemed to be the most popular area
for men to hang around, as they were more susceptible to the cold
temperature.

I felt slightly nervous when I stepped over the threshold.  Elladan and
Elrohir each hooked their arms around mine and led me further inside. 
I would have gladly looked for a quiet corner and observed the events
in silence but the twins would not allow it.  As we walked among the
guests, the lesser lords would bow to us and the ladies curtsied.  I
inclined my head slightly in acknowledgement.

My heart beat furiously because unexpectedly I had to take on the role
as the ambassador of Mirkwood.  I had to put on a royal façade and
become Prince Legolas, son of King Thranduil of Greenwood the Great. 
Back home, it was more relaxing for me because the burden lies heavily
on Firith as he is the Crown Prince.

“Why did your ada not tell me that there would be a big gathering?  Are
you celebrating something special tonight?” I spoke loud enough to be
heard only by my escorts.

“We have an important guest who just arrived this morning,” answered
Elrohir from my left.  Unlike for most people, I could easily
distinguish the twins.

“Oh?  Who is it?” I inquired further.  Before they could answer I heard
someone calling my name.  I searched around the room for the source of
the voice.  It came from Lord Elrond and he was waving me over.

While walking over to him, I noted that a man was standing beside him. 
He was richly clothed in gold and purple and stood proudly like an
authoritative noble.  He was slightly taller that Elrond and much
bigger built.  Unlike the Lord of Imladris who was smiling at me, he
was studying me with interest.

“Let me introduce to you my foster son, Aragorn.”  I could see that
Lord Elrond was beaming with pride as he looked at his mortal son.

The name was familiar to me.  I bent my upper body slightly forward as
a gesture of respect to the man who was of higher station than I was.

“It is an honour to meet you, Your Majesty,” I greeted him accordingly.

King Aragorn of Gondor smiled warmly at my recognition but his eyes
spoke of something else that I could not understand.  His piercing grey
eyes sent a chill down my spine.

“I see that they had informed you well in foreign affairs,” nodded Lord
Elrond approvingly.

“Who in Middle-Earth would not have heard about Isildur’s heir?” I
asserted.  Inside, I was happy to receive the Lord of Imladris’ favor.

“True indeed.  And may I be so bold to add that there is not one being
in Middle-Earth who had not heard of Prince Legolas Thranduilion whose
fairness rivaled only by the Evenstar of Rivendell,” Aragorn
complimented.

His words made me turn red.  I was not offended by it but, being a male
elf, I was not used to being praised in such a manner.  In fact, I had
never considered myself beautiful even when I had heard rumours being
spoken in hushed tones behind my back.

“I am very sorry.  I did not mean to offend you, Prince Legolas,” the
King apologised quickly after noticing my reaction.

“No, no.  It is quite all right, Your Majesty.  I did not take any
offense.  I was merely surprised to be regarded in such high esteem by
Your Majesty.”  Our exchanges probably amused everyone around us
because suddenly I was aware that no one spoke as they watched us with
curiosity.

“Our baby elf had grown into a beautiful, humble elf?” gasped Elladan
exaggeratedly.

“Elladan!” Elrohir and his ada called out at the same time but Elladan
only giggled in response.  In all the years that I had known Elladan,
he had never changed.  Only Elrohir had seemed to take after his ada,
becoming more serious and thoughtful, except when craziness hit him.

After exchanging a few more pleasantries, Lord Elrond made an
announcement to the entire room that dinner would be served.

As this was a formal dinner gathering, King Aragorn was the highest
ranking among all the guests and thus sat on Lord Elrond’s right side. 
I was put to sit beside the King, followed immediately by the twins. 
The ushers swiftly guided the rest of the guests to their respective
seat arrangements.

After the butler finished pouring the wine into Lord Elrond’s and King
Aragorn’s wine glasses, the rest of the attendants started attending to
everyone else.  Once all the glasses were filled, a toast was made to
the King and then to me, welcoming us to Rivendell.

For the entire night, the butler would only attend to the most
important guests seated at the head of the table, including Lord
Glorfindel who was on Lord Elrond’s left and Lord Erestor who were
beside the blond eldar and opposite Legolas.

During the meals, I had not the chance to look around the table to see
if I recognised any of the guests invited.  I was constantly dragged
into conversations with the King and the other Lords.  Sometimes the
twins would join us but mostly they would either talk between
themselves or converse with the other guests.

It was only after we came to dessert that I managed to look around.  I
was extremely happy when I spotted Haldir among the invited.  He sat
not far away from me and when he looked up from his plate, he turned to
my direction as if he knew I was looking at him.  I waved to him
discreetly and he did the same.

Immediately after dinner, I excused myself quickly from Aragorn.  He
was a very interesting person to talk to but I wanted to see Haldir
badly.  I missed the Lorien elf very much.

I made my way swiftly to Haldir who was already in the company of the
twins, ignoring some of the stares I received from the people that I
had passed by.  They were always the same, to marvel at me like some
sort of exotic creature on display.

The moment I got close enough, we hugged each other warmly.  It felt so
good to see him again.

“Ai, Haldir.  Cormamin lindua ele lle [My heart sings to see thee],” I
said after letting him go and then wrapped an arm on the back of his
waist while he placed his arm on my shoulders.

Despite that I had passed my majority, Haldir still towered over me; my
height only reached to his lips.  It was good for me, nonetheless,
because he could kiss the crown of my head easily.  I always enjoyed
his undivided attention on me.  I also felt very secure around him,
knowing that he would protect me fiercely like my ada.

“Yes, Legolas.  It has been almost two centuries, has it not?”  He
smiled warmly at me.  “Why, look at you, all grown up now.  I heard
that you’ve just passed your majority initiation.  Congratulations!”

“Diola lle [Thank you], Haldir,” I smiled sweetly in return.

“Hhmm…. We’ll have to look for ada tomorrow to see if he can do
anything about your height though,” Elladan said in mock seriousness
while tapping a finger on his cheek.

“Or we can play tug-Legolas later.  You two take each of his legs while
I hold his hands and together we can tug and stretch him properly,”
jested Haldir and everyone chuckled.  When I first knew the Galadhrim,
he was quite serious but after spending a bit of time with us, he had
loosened up a lot and was able to make jokes.

“I like my height the way it is,” I pouted and crossed my hands over my
chest.

“Welcome back, aier [little one]!” snorted Elrohir.  “This is the side
of you we’ve been waiting to meet, not Prince Legolas of Mirkwood.”

“You would be like this if your ada made you attend to every boring
council session and meeting to amuse all the foreign dignitaries.  I
hate the official robe they make me wear.  I am so tempted to walk into
ada’s office, naked, and claim that someone had ambushed me and run
away with their precious robe,” I sighed while unfolding my arms and
snaked a hand instinctively around Haldir’s back again.

Giggles erupted around me.

Being brought up with strict court manners, I found it much too tedious
and boring after some time.  Nevertheless, I keep up the royal façade
whenever necessary until the cheekier side of me emerges at certain
moments that caused ada to frown excessively.

“It’s easier for us because we grew up wearing robes most of the time. 
Ada might still make you wear them sometimes,” said Elrohir.  I groaned
in despair.

“Don’t fret, Legolas.  You can always walk nude into ada’s study.  He
is very open minded about it,” shrugged Elladan.  “I, for one will
enjoy the new scene very much,” he added in a husky tone and played his
eyebrows at me.  I suspected that my friend had seen too much when I
walked out of the bathroom.

“Elladan, I am disgusted by you!  How can you think of me in that
manner?  You were my childhood friend, for the love of Valar,” I
scolded him indignantly.

“Wait, I’m missing something here,” interjected Haldir.  “Elladan, did
you see something that you shouldn’t?”

“Hey, Elrohir saw it too,” the older twin defended himself.

“Don’t drag me into your mess, Elladan,” snapped Elrohir.  “I wasn’t
the one drooling.”

“He drooled?” I expressed shock.

The guilty half-elf flashed a wide grin, exposing the two rows of
perfect white teeth and shrugged sheepishly.  “All right, all right. 
I’ll help you burn the robe so ada can’t make you wear any,” he said
finally, trying to steer away the incredulous attention we gave him.

“Ada will have my hide if I create anymore trouble.  Erestor might
accept jokes good-naturedly but I’m sure your ada and Glorfindel will
not be so tolerant this time,” I said.

“Yes indeed,” a voice interrupted us.  It was Lord Glorfindel.  “And I
will send a parchment immediately to King Thranduil and ask for
permission to spank you on the bottom like a child,” he added.  My
three friends snickered loudly.

“I will help!  I will help!” cried Elladan as he put up his right hand
and waved excitedly.

My eyes narrowed menacingly at the older twin.  “I think you have not
heard yet that the aim of my arrows had improved dramatically.  Perhaps
my stay here will be even more entertaining, now that I have a life
target to practice on.”

“If I were you, Elladan, I would be careful.  I have countless times
that Legolas was hailed as one of the best in archery.  I am sure you
do not want to pull down your leggings so that your ada can pick the
arrows out of your bottom!” Haldir chided humorously.

Elrohir clutched his belly and laughed so loudly that anyone standing
nearby us looked at our group curiously.  He even had to put a hand on
Haldir’s shoulder to support himself so he would not topple over.
“I’ll help!  I’ll help!” Elrohir struggled to speak.  “Ow!” he cried
suddenly as Elladan poked him on the ribs with his elbow.

Knowing the twins for so long, I had never once seen them fight between
them.  They were always so energetic and look at things on the bright
side.  They seldom get offended but they would resort to pranks to
exact revenge.

“Haldir, I hear that you are going to stay only for six days?” Lord
Glorfindel asked.  “Why the haste?”

My heart was saddened to hear it.

“When Arwen had arrived into Lorien, she informed me that Legolas would
be going to Rivendell.  Therefore, when Aragorn prepared to return
here, I took the opportunity to travel with him.  However my duty does
not allow me to stay too long away from the Golden Woods though I would
wish otherwise,” he explained.  He then turned to me with a question in
his eyes.  “Unless you would come with me to Lothlorien for a visit?”

“Of course!  That would be very nice indeed,” I exclaimed, happy to
know that I would finally get to see Lothlorien and meet the infamous
Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn.

“That is a very good idea.  Perhaps I could help you ask Lord Elrond if
he would approve?” suggested Glorfindel.

“Will you, Glorfindel?”  I was trembling with excitement.

When the blond eldar nodded, I rushed to him and gave him a tight
grateful hug.  Glorfindel chuckled as he returned my embrace.  I did
not care if other people would see my uncouth behavior.  I was too high
on adrenaline to notice anything else.

“I want to go too,” whined Elladan playfully.

“Me too,” Elrohir joined him.

“We shall see what your ada says,” answered the Seneschal.  “Meanwhile,
if you don’t mind, Legolas, to let me go so that I may return to
entertaining the other guests?”  I unfolded myself from Glorfindel and
allowed him to stroll away.

For the entire night, the four of us talked among ourselves as we had
many things to catch up on.  However, during our conversation I was
acutely aware that many eyes were upon me, especially a pair of eyes
that seemed to bore into me with ferocious intensity.  I was not able
to find out who was watching me so resolutely but I could not shake the
uncomfortable feeling inside that accompanied the gaze.

We spoke until everyone had left the Dining Hall.  When the twins
decided they were too tired to go on, I invited Haldir to my bedchamber
so that we could continue there.  I cautioned him though to be careful
that no one would catch him sneaking into my chamber because I did not
want to run the risk of unfair gossips circulating around.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

A soft knock startled my chain of thoughts.  Quickly I got up from my
chair and ran tiptoed to the door.  I opened just a crack and peeked
out.

Haldir stood outside, slightly hunched.

“No one saw me,” he whispered.  I opened the door and let him crept
inside quickly.  Then I closed the door gently.

Together we walked to the thick luxurious rug set in front of the small
fireplace and sat on it.  I poured two glasses of red berry juice, for
Haldir do not drink wines and handed him a glass.  We spoke in low,
hushed tones for fear of someone who happened to pass by might hear us.

By the time some light began to creep into the room through the arcades
leading to the balcony, Haldir had to leave.  Again, he was forced to
be cautious when sneaking out of my bedchamber.  I felt guilty for
making him slink around like a thief but we didn’t have any choice.  We
always had many things to talk about and time was never enough for us.

After he left, I quickly placed one glass and the empty bottle on the
table so that the servant can clear it away when he or she comes in to
clean my chamber.  I hid the other glass carefully so that I could
remove it later when I had the chance.  Next, I ruffled the bed so that
the servant would think I had slept on it.

As with Mirkwood, breakfast would be served punctually.  I washed my
face quickly and changed to a new pair of garments.  After making sure
that my hair was properly combed and braided, I got to the door.

Anar had risen just over the mountains when I stepped out of the
chamber.  Even though I felt a bit sleepy, as I had not rested since
arriving into Rivendell, the warmth of Anar cleared the webs in my
mind.  I stretched like a cat easing my stiff muscles away and then
took in a lungful of fresh crispy air.  Feeling refreshed, I made my
way to the private dining hall where Lord Elrond and his family would
gather.

Almost everyone was already seated at the table when I got there.  I
greeted them and took the seat that I had always sat on since my first
day in Imladris.  The last person to appear was Aragorn.  He did not
look like he had a good night sleep.

“Missed Arwen already, Aragorn?” teased Elladan as he eyed him
cheekily.

“Not now, Elladan,” the man answered gruffly.

I saw Lord Elrond cock an eyebrow at his foster son but he did not say
anything.  Instead, he turned his attention back to Lord Erestor and
Glorfindel.  They began discussing some of the things that the Lord of
Imladris would have to attend to later.

Leaving their younger brother to wallow in his dark mood, the twins
joined Haldir and I, in our quiet conversation.  We agreed that it was
a good day to go out riding.  We wanted to make full use of the time we
had before Haldir was to go back to Lothlorien.

“May I come too?” someone said suddenly.  We all turned to look at
Aragorn.

The man shifted uncomfortably as all eyes were on him, including the
three older elves.  All of us could see that he was trying very hard
not to appear miserable but his eyes were pleading as if a child
begging his older brothers to let him come along.

“Yes of course, Your Majesty,” I responded first.

“Please, call me Aragorn.  After all, I am the youngest among you.”

“All right, Aragorn,” I smiled warmly to him.  It had been awkward to
address him formally all the time when he was the twins’ younger
brother.

My friendly gesture seemed to have affected him greatly.  He smiled in
return and I could see his body relax immediately.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

“Legolas!  Jump in.  The water’s great!” yelled Elrohir but before he
realised anything, his brother had pounced him from behind and dunked
him into the water.  The younger flailed his arms in the water while
the other laughed mightily.

Haldir had already removed his tunic and undershirt swiftly, and hung
them on a nearby branch before running towards the river and dived in. 
I laughed seeing the Lorien elf acting in such immature manner.  It was
not often one could see this side of him.

We had been riding for almost two hours and finally, feeling hot and
sticky, we decided to stop by the river and cool off.  It was like déjà
vu.  When we were younger, we had done the same thing except Haldir had
not joined us and Aragorn was not born yet.

I looked at the man beside me and winked at him.  Not wanting to be
left out, I quickly stripped off my tops and soon joined the three
elves.  Aragorn was slower to come into the water.  I guess the man had
been hiding behind his kingly duties for too long that he had forgotten
to be young and carefree again.

This part of the river had been our favourite.  There were several
waterfalls on one side of the pool, the water cascading onto the
flattened-top boulders.  One could sit on the smoothened stones and
enjoy the constant torrents raining down.

Elladan was floating on his back seemingly asleep and letting the
current wash him away along the opening to the main river.  Elrohir and
Haldir were somewhere underwater, challenging each other to see who
would surface last.  That left Aragorn and me alone, sitting under the
waterfalls.

“Have you been here before when you were a child?” I shouted under the
roaring waterfalls.

“Yes, many times.  The twins always brought me here,” Aragorn shouted
back.

“I like this place,” I said, trying very hard not to stare at his hairy
body.  It intrigued me somewhat as I had never seen anyone with so much
hair on their body.

“Me too,” answered Aragorn.

An awkward silence ensued.  I did not know what to talk about with him
and something at the back of my mind was nagging at me.  I was aware
that I was still feeling a bit uncomfortable around him.  I knew I
should not feel this way, as he was my younger brother just as the
twins had taken me under their wings.

“Have you ever been to Gondor?” he asked suddenly.

“No,” I answered while my eyes stared ahead.  “Ada did not allow me to
leave Mirkwood very much.  He worries a lot about my safety and thinks
that I shouldn’t travel so much.”

“Would you go if you were given the chance?” Aragorn asked again.

“Yes, I think so.  It would be an experience to see for myself the
realm of men that everyone has been talking about.”

“Oh, what did they say?”  Aragorn’s interest was heightened.

“Many things.  How about you?  How do you find so far, living among
elves?” I inquired this time, trying to change the subject.  I did not
want to tell him of the bad things I had heard about men’s deeds. 
However, I was sure he knew anyway.

Truthfully, Aragorn was the first man I had ever had conversation with.
 I had seen men before but never had the courage to approach them.  It
was also partly due to cautions that the elders had warned of me
several times.

“I like Rivendell very much.  Compared to Lothlorien, I still prefer
here.  Besides that I grew up here, I find Rivendell more magical and
beautiful.  Arwen always preferred Lothlorien.”  I could see that his
mind had wandered off far away, like the river drifting ahead of us.

“Hey, what are you two doing sitting there?” shouted Elrohir.  “Lets
have another swim before we ride back, in time for dinner!”

Both of us jumped into the deep pool and swam toward the trio.  We
frolicked and pulled a few childish pranks on each other before
paddling back to the bank.  Like the boys we were, we shook our bodies
violently like a drowned bear to get rid of the excess water.

By the time we were mounting the horses, our hairs hung limply on our
backs except for Aragorn who had shorter locks.  Then we raced back to
the Last Homely House, letting the wind dry our tresses.



3.  On The Way To Lothlorien

Dinner was a noisy event that night.  Excitement crackled in the air and 
boisterous conversations filled the entire room.  All the young ones even 
Lord Erestor were in jovial moods.  No one really paid any attention to their 
food, busy chattering animatedly.

Both Lord Elrond and Glorfindel shook their heads in wonderment but 
despite that, they were smiling.  I guess they were surprised to see their long 
time friend who was usually quite composed in manners, so relaxed that 
night.  In fact, no one in their long memories had ever seen the Chief 
Steward laugh so much or make so many jokes.

Cheers of joy erupted; almost to the point of becoming unbearable when 
Lord Elrond announced his permission to let the three of us join Haldir on 
his return trip to Lorien.  I was especially excited and could not wait for the 
day to come.  However, the half-elf Lord insisted that I write a parchment to 
my ada informing him of my intended visit to Lothlorien.

We were already busy planning the next day’s activities when the eldars 
decided to retire one by one.  We stayed back a bit longer before all of us 
filed out of the dining room and headed for our own bedchambers.  I could 
not rest immediately because I had to write the parchment so that I could 
send it out the first thing in the morning.

As soon as I finished and sealed the letter, I was ready for bed but could not 
sleep immediately.  My mind was drifting away, imagining what the Golden 
Woods would be like.  The first thing I wanted to do when I got there was 
find the mallorn and touch one.  I had read many times and dreamt about 
the golden-leaved trees with ancient ‘life’ coursing through their trunks.

So many new images filled my mind that night that I did not know when I 
had actually fallen asleep while dreaming of Lorien.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

When the four of us got ready to ride out early next morning, Aragorn had 
finally appeared.

“Come on Aragorn.  We are all impatient to get going,” called out Elrohir.

“You elves go ahead.  I won’t be joining you this morning.  Something very 
important just came up,” Aragorn said when he reached us.  I could see that 
he was not very happy and may be even anxiety hidden underneath his calm 
mask.

“Will you be coming later to meet us there?” I asked.  The man looked at 
me and smiled weakly.

“Depends.  If not, I will probably see all of you during dinner instead,” he 
sounded almost regretful.

“All right.  I hope nothing serious has happened, though,” I frowned 
slightly.  Aragorn shook his head.

“Well, you know where to find us,” said Elladan and he started to maneuver 
his horse around to head for the archway.  The rest of us followed suit.

Soon we were racing each other, shouting and urging our horses to gallop 
faster through the widely spaced trees.  It was exhilarating to move at such 
dangerous speed while dodging the low hanging branches and steering 
around the large tree trunks.

The twins had planned to ride to a small lake just by the foot of a cliff north 
from here.  Many years ago while exploring, we had found a small cave 
when we dove into the water and came out on the other side.  It had become 
our secret ‘base’ when we were elflings, pretending to be a lost civilization.  
Haldir did not like staying too long in that cave though and I could 
understand why.  Being a tree-elf, they were not used to dark and enclosed 
confinements.

Anar was already above our heads when we sat down on the grass to eat our 
packed lunches.  It consisted of sandwiches, fruit salads and some sweet 
cakes.  Just sitting there on the grass, chewing our food in silence was 
blissful.  Occasionally we heard the honks of swans passing overhead.

“Legolas, do you have a lover?” Elladan broke the silence.  I looked at him 
quizzically, not sure why he asked me this.  Then I realised that everyone 
was looking at me expectantly.

“No,” I answered almost too softly.

“Do you have someone in mind?” he asked again.  I stopped eating and 
looked at the three elves sitting in front of me, one at a time, starting with 
Elladan.  Why is everyone so intent on knowing my love life?

“Not at the moment,” and I heard someone let out a held back breath.  
“Why the sudden interest in this aspect of my life?”

“Nothing.  Just curious, that’s all,” answered Elladan trying to sound 
nonchalant.

“Lets have a short nap before we go swimming again,” suggested Haldir.  I 
was glad he changed the subject.  Up until now, I never really saw myself as 
an adult elf and have yet to convince myself that I would soon need to find 
a mate.

I laid back and placed an arm over my eyes to block out the sunlight.  With 
a full belly, I felt very lazy suddenly.  Sleep came to me easily as the breeze 
sang a gentle lullaby and the rustling of the leaves whispered their devotion 
to watch over us.

In my drowsy state, I was distantly aware that something heavy laid over 
my chest and my abdomen.  I jerked awake and to my relief, found myself 
being wedged between the twins and they had flung one of their arms over 
me.  I was tickled by this gesture because it reminded me of my elfling 
years when I was afraid of the thunderstorms.  I used to sneak into their 
chambers where the twins slept together in the same bed and hid under the 
covers between them.  They never failed to wrap an arm around me, to 
assure me of their protection.

As usual we spent most part of the day there before riding back to the Last 
Homely House in time for dinner.  Aragorn was already waiting for us, and 
was quite eager to hear our adventures.  I felt like being an elfling again, 
going on explorations and discovering new things.

I could see envy in Aragorn’s eyes as we related everything we did that day.  
I also noticed that he paid a lot of attention to me, especially when I spoke 
to him.  It was quite unnerving at times that his eyes would gaze deeply into 
mine.  Occasionally I caught his stares when he thought that I was not 
looking but I did not take offense.  

It was probably out of old habits as he was a ranger before taking up his 
birthright.  In fact, it was a rule all warriors were constantly reminded – to 
study their opponent and take note of any weakness point.  Aragorn’s 
probing however, did not worry me because after all, he was our ‘little’ 
brother; and family members do not hurt each other.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

“Legolas, ada wants our help in something, so we won’t be able to join you 
this morning.  Perhaps after lunch we could do something together,” 
Elladan said.  His brother nodded silently beside him.

“All right.  I think Haldir and I would go practise our archery then.  We 
shall meet at the dining hall?”

“Yes,” answered the twins at the same time.  It never fails to amuse me 
when they do that.  It was something that unnerved other people except 
elves because it was a borderline to sorcery that one could read another’s 
mind and people were afraid of such things.

“Why don’t you get Aragorn too?  I think he has nothing to do at the 
moment besides pestering us,” Elrohir called out as they began to walk 
away.

“All right,” I called back.

Turning the opposite from the twins’ intended direction, I went to search for 
Haldir and Aragorn.  It did not take long to locate them and it was even 
easier to convince them to join me for some practice.

The weather was hot and sunny that morning.  Unlike in Mirkwood, we did 
not get such condition often due to the gloom surrounding our forest.  It felt 
good to be under Anar and feel its heat beating down on my exposed skin.  
Even Haldir agreed with me.

While practicing, I looked to Haldir constantly for guidance to perfect my 
aim.  He was very dedicated to my needs and concentrated solely in making 
sure that I got it.  After some time though, I decided to stop, seeing that 
Aragorn was getting frustrated.  Since he was not an elf, he did not posses 
the keen eyesight that elves have and thus, he was unable to aim perfectly 
all the time.

We turned to his best skills instead – sword fighting.  I learnt from the twins 
that one of best sword fighters in Middle-Earth – Glorfindel, had trained 
Aragorn.  I was not be surprised by it, as the Heir of Isildur must be able to 
wield ‘Anduril’ well in his campaign to gain his throne.

“Haldir, I have heard many times of your great skill with the sword.  I 
would like to test them,” said Aragorn with a smug grin.  Haldir watched 
him for a moment.

“I accept,” he spoke calmly.  They both picked a blunt sword from the rack.

Without warning or waiting for Haldir to prepare himself, Aragorn attacked 
but Haldir was able to jump out of his way and parried swiftly when the 
man tried to take advantage of his distraction.  I was mesmerized to watch 
them ‘dance’ around so nimbly, the fluidity of their movements making me 
take in every scene without a blink.

Several times I caught myself sucking air audibly as I thought Haldir would 
surely be beaten however the elf proved to be a wonder.  Never had I 
witnessed such masterful art and ferocious intensity.  It was as if they were 
fighting for their honour and also a hint of dangerous hate between them.  I 
could not blame them in this for both man and elf were arrogant and did not 
make the least effort to conceal it.

When it was clear that no one would win, I stopped the fight.  Aragorn and 
Haldir stood across from each other, glaring menacingly.  No one would 
back down.  Seeing that both were panting slightly and sweating, I 
suggested that we go for a quick swim before going back to the manor to 
meet up the twins.

We walked quietly to a nearby lake.  No one spoke and I could still feel the 
tension beside me as I trudged between them.  Just as we reached to the 
bank, we were about to take off our tunics and undershirt when suddenly I 
found myself being pushed forward.  I could not stop the momentum and 
fell into the lake.

Spluttering, I desperately sought for solid ground to stand on.  When I 
finally found it, I stood up and found the water was up to my waist.  I 
coughed indignantly.  Before I could raise my head to find out who pushed 
me, I sank into the water again but this time with a heavy weight atop on 
me.

Flailing my arms helplessly, I felt a strong hand circled my waist and pull 
me up to the surface.  I coughed and spit wildly as if I had swallowed 
poison because more water had entered my lungs and my stomach.

“I’m sorry Legolas.  I just couldn’t help it,” laughed Aragorn.  I was not 
able to answer him and continued to cough.  “Are you all right?” he asked, 
this time with more concern.  His hand did not leave my waist.

Instead of answering him, I dug my feet into the soft mud, twisted my body 
and pushed Aragorn backwards.  He flapped his arms wildly before 
splashing heavily into the water.  I heard Haldir laughing uncontrollably on 
the bank.  I looked at him and smiled conceitedly.

My smirk was short-lived because then I felt a pair of hands grab my ankles 
and pull me under.  When I looked around, I saw Aragorn grinning.  He 
swam away quickly before I could extract my revenge.  At that moment, I 
heard a loud splash as if someone had dove into the water.  Soon, I caught 
Haldir coming toward me and together we ‘hunted’ for Aragorn.

After swimming around for sometime and not finding a sign of Aragorn, we 
decided to give up.  The moment we broke surface, I saw the man standing 
on the grassy bank with his hands on his hips and water dripping off him, 
flooding the spot he was standing on.  He was laughing again and it made 
his features look young.  He reminded me of a mischievous imp.

Haldir was already making his way to the bank and immediately, Aragorn 
dashed away in the direction to the ‘Last Homely House’.  Both of us were 
soon hot on his heels, calling him names.

As we chased him along the corridor, we passed by the twins who looked at 
us incredulously.  It would shock anyone to find the King of Men wet and 
running away laughing like a lunatic from two wet elves.

Aragorn managed to run to his bedchamber and locked himself inside 
before we caught him.  We panted from exertion outside his door.

“Just you wait, Aragorn.  You can’t stay inside forever,” I called out.
“We shall see,” he answered back and then was quiet.  As we could not 
afford to be late for lunch, we returned to our own bedchambers to clean up 
and change.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

On the morning of Haldir’s last day stay in Rivendell, I woke up early so 
that I could seek out my five companions because I needed a volunteer to 
come with me to Lothlorien.  Of course, without any doubt they all insisted 
on coming together.  It was no use arguing with them so I relented.  I was 
very sure the twins would never cease to tease me about this matter.

That same morning I also learned that Aragorn had to leave for Gondor on 
some urgent matter.  All of us followed him to the bailey where the rest of 
his men, more like a small troop to me, were waiting.  We were all sad to 
see him go because he could have followed us to Lothlorien and met Arwen 
there.

However, Aragorn promised that he would see us again when we returned 
from the Golden Woods.  He also bade us send his love to Arwen when we 
next saw her.

After saying our farewells and sending him off, we entered the manor.  
Haldir suggested that we pack our things first and then have a quiet day 
around the ‘Last Homely House’.  I agreed to the proposal because we had 
been exerting ourselves for the past four days.  As we wanted to make it to 
Lorien in the shortest possible time, we had to travel a lot and that meant we 
should rest well before the journey.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

As expected, the twins would not miss a chance to tease me of my ‘baby-
sitters’.  The moment they saw me approaching the stable with fully armed 
guards in tow, they opened their eyes wide in mock surprise.  Luckily by 
now, my five companions had grown used to their jesting and did not react.  
However, it gave the three eldars a peace of mind to know that the twins 
and I would be well protected by six of the best warriors.

Lord Elrond, Glorfindel and Erestor appeared to send us off.  The twins 
were given their last minute lecture on proper behaviour despite the fact that 
they had already passed their majority many years ago.  Haldir and I 
giggled when we looked at Elladan and Elrohir.  I could see the others tried 
very hard to keep a straight face and not make a noise.

When the twins finally turned around to mount their horses, I caught Lord 
Elrond’s eyes and he winked at me.  I smiled to him gratefully.  Now I have 
something to tease them with, in return.

Anar had just risen halfway from behind Misty Mountains but we were 
already well on our way out of the base of the valley.    A party of nine 
elves traveling together was quite a large group.

As soon we got out of the basin, I clicked my tongue to get Rynal to slip 
between Haldir and Tanhision who was riding just ahead.  The twins were 
behind me while the rest covered the back.

On our first night, we set up camp quite early because Haldir wanted us to 
get as much rest as possible.  He informed us that our traveling would be 
very strenuous for the next few days.  While the twins gathered wood for 
the fire, Tanhision, Haldir and Vanacor scouted around the perimeter to 
make sure that there would be no surprises at night.  Everyone else helped 
in cooking and tending to the horses.

Mallhaw made friends very quickly with the twins for obvious reasons.  I 
just hoped they did not get together and make everyone else run amok with 
their pranks.  The rest were a bit distant though they were very polite and 
respectful.  Only Tanhision seemed to be at ease around Haldir.  It was 
unusual to see the serious elf striking a friendship so quickly but I was glad.  
Haldir and Tanhision was both very experienced warriors and it was 
something that they both had in common.

That night the five guards and Haldir made an agreement on the shifts they 
were to take in guarding the camp.  The twins and I were strictly forbidden 
to take any turns though we protested determinedly.

The next day, we were a little livelier as Morethir soon became chatty 
again.  Our group had broken into two now.  Mallhaw and the twins were in 
the front, whispering conspiratorially and occasionally looking behind 
them.   A glint of mischievousness flashed in their eyes. 

Morethir, as usual, could not keep his cheery behaviour to himself.  I heard 
Vanacor and Tanhision groaning in misery as ‘Prince Mela’ went on and on 
about the beautiful and exotic she-elves he met in Rivendell.  As for me, I 
was too excited about going to Lorien to notice the dark looks the others 
aimed at the oblivious Morethir.

By the fifth night, everyone was quite exhausted.  We had just crossed over 
the Misty Mountains without much break along the way.  Haldir finally 
allowed us to rest early as the most difficult part was over.  After attending 
to the horses, I slumped on the forest floor.

I was almost dozing off when someone shook me on the shoulder.  I looked 
up groggily and found a plate with steaming food handed to me.  I took it 
and muttered a thank you before eating in semi-consciousness.  I still do not 
know if I slept with the plate still in my hand or if I managed to put it aside 
before lying down.  I was just too tired to think.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

The sound of a sharp cry woke me up in the middle of the night but I was 
barely able to register what happened in my heavily drowsy state.  All 
around me was darkness.  I tried to move but none of my body parts 
obeyed.  I could not comprehend my condition.  Unable to fight it any 
longer, I surrendered to my blissful sleep.

During my slumber, I had a strange dream.  Many times I saw a fuzzy 
image of a silhouette figure looming over me.    At other times, I had the 
sensations of a hand caressing my chest and my cheeks.  Sometimes, the 
hand would smoothed my forehead or run its fingers through my hair.

What a strange dream indeed.  When I woke up, I determined, I would ask 
Haldir what it meant.



4.  Strange Dreams

A distant disembodied moan brought me to the edge of light.

Strangely, the first thing that dominated my field of vision was a shimmering blue 
sky.  As everything was so fuzzy, I couldn’t tell what happened to me or why I 
became like this and how did I get here?  Questions and more questions, all filled 
my drowsy mind but they soon disappeared into oblivion.

I squinted my eyes to get a better focus.  Now I could see fluffy white things 
emerging.

Finally after staring for so long, I realised it was only a ceiling painted to look like 
the sky.

Fogginess still shrouded my mind, impeding my thinking ability and memory.  I 
could not concentrate even on a tiny thread of thought for more than a few 
moments before I drifted off to the clouds.

The constant buzz in my head was annoying but I failed to see the connection to 
what I was experiencing at the moment.  It was so hard to pull myself out of this 
dream-like state.  I want to go back to sleep.  Just for a while longer.

Darkness.  I like it very much.  It is so comforting.  Where will I drift off now?  To 
my beautiful dreams perhaps?

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

‘Uuuggghhh…why is it so bright?’ I thought.

‘Draw the curtains!’ I cried.  Did I manage to say that or did I just imagine that I 
did?

My throat is so dry and my lip is parched.  I licked to moisten them.

‘Move – go – run away – now,’ something at the back of my mind warned me 
urgently.

Without knowing why and moving purely on mechanical will, I gathered my 
energies, turned to the side and used an elbow to attempt to sit up.

Dizziness hit me suddenly.  I had to close my eyes to stop the spinning vision 
because I could taste a bitter-sourish juice from the pit of my stomach that was 
threatening to force its way out.  I needed to anchor my balance to something 
solid.

Time stood still for me and I didn’t know how long I was in that sitting position, 
trying to get a hold of myself.  Feeling a bit better afterwards, I steeled myself to 
stand up.

Wait a minute!  In my drunken state, I did not even realise that I had been lying on 
a bed.

‘Where am I and how did I get here?  Think, think,’ I told myself.  Nothing comes to 
any sense.

Trusting my unbidden instinct and fearing the lurking danger, I decided that I had 
to get away as soon as possible.  I am in no condition to defend myself right now.  
Friend or foe, I will deal with it later.

Upon standing on my feet, my sight began to dim quickly.  I stretched out my 
hands and blindly grabbed at anything to steady myself.  The loud ringing inside 
my ears deafened me.  Even my lungs failed momentarily.

Before I recovered I felt hands holding my shoulders, trying to push me back down 
on to the bed.

I resisted.

“Let me go,” I protested weakly while gasping for air.

The pair of stronger hands continued pushing me back on to the bed until I rested 
my head on the soft pillow.  The same hands lifted my legs on to the bed.

A familiar face loomed over me but my muddled brain could not recognise him.

Feebly, I tried to push him away because my clothes were being peeled open; then 
ripped or cut away, I am not sure which.  Next I felt my leggings being tugged 
down roughly.

Every time I tried to get up he would stop me and when I mindlessly drew his 
hands away from me, he swatted them away.  I couldn’t comprehend what he had 
in mind but I fought anyway.

He said something but I could not hear or understand.  The ringing in my ears had 
not subsided fully.

“Tua! Tua amin! [Help me!]” I rasped.

The man on top of me started touching my chest, his fingers so rough unlike elves.  
Then he caressed my cheeks and my hair before going back to my torso.  His 
fondles felt good but something in my mind told me it was wrong.  I failed to 
recognise that he was actually molesting me.

Utter confusion and helpless frustration drove me crazy.

When his face came so close to mine; I did not move away.

Soon something warm and soft crushed on to my lips.  Then something hard and 
wet probed the inside of my mouth.  He was kissing me and his coarse facial hair 
was rubbing my delicate skin raw.

Air.  I needed air.  I tried to breathe but couldn’t.  It was impossible to push him off 
me because he caught my wrists easily and pinned them beside my body.

After he released me from his oral assault, I heaved noisily to fill my lungs.

Distracted for the moment, I was not aware that he parted my legs until too late.  A 
heavy weight settled on top of me.  Why is he moving?  What is he doing?

Suddenly, I felt an extreme pain starting from somewhere below.  I was in agony 
as the white-hot searing pain tore through my whole body up to my intoxicated 
mind.

‘Scream!’ my mind yelled at me but I seemed only to manage a hoarse cry.  I 
panted rapidly, my lungs burning.

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, wanting to believe that this was all a nightmare.  
My eyes stung as tears spilled forth.  My senses were drowning me.  The 
excruciating pain, the need for air, the helplessness, the confusion, the frustration, 
and the anger – everything was slamming against me on all sides continuously.

‘Why am I in so much pain?  Why am I suffering like this?’

I tried to use my legs to get rid of him from above me but they did not work.  They 
were trembling uselessly and my hands were still pinned to my side.  I was totally 
helpless and I could not stop the hurt.

Frustration had turned to anger for I cannot do anything to make sense of all this.

Soon my vision swirled, adding to my turmoil.  

Finally, unable to hold on to a shred of sanity and solid ground, I was flushed down 
a tunnel of welcoming darkness.



I’VE MADE TWO MISTAKES ABOUT THE ‘INFAMOUS LADY GALADRIEL’ 
AND ‘INFAMOUS IMLADRIS CUISINE’.  IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MEANT IN A 
GOOD WAY, NOT THE OPPOSITE.  SORRY ABOUT THE MISTAKES.  I DIDN’T 
REALISE THIS UNTIL TWO READERS POINTED THEM OUT TO ME.  THANKS.

5.  Bound For All Eternity

My world brightened again.  I blinked several times to clear away the
aching dryness in my eyes.  Most of my senses had not fully come to
life yet, but at least my brain was able to think more clearly. 
Questions nestled in my mind as more popped up like little bubbles.

Something clammy and calloused crept up my right thigh.  I yelped and
jerked away, not knowing what it was.

In a flash, something big, dark and heavy jumped on top of me, pinning
me down.  A face appeared in my line of vision with crystal clarity.

Him!  For some reason I hated him.  I fought wildly, bucking with all
my might, kicking and trying to dislodge him but he held me down
anyway, sneering at me.  No one may stay on top of me, unless I say so.
 You might say that I am arrogant but I have pride and dignity to keep.
 I am a royal prince, after all.

“Save your energy for something else, my little elf,” he growled, his
face a finger’s breadth from mine.

I glared at him spitefully.  Then something clicked in my brain.  He
was naked!

Ugly images flooded my mind.  Even though they were dream-like, I was
sure they were real.

I blanched and suddenly felt weak and giddy.  My heart had been pumping
so fast that my hands trembled.

I realised too late that my mouth was agape from shock.  He immediately
took advantage of it.  His tongue attacked me demandingly, sucking all
my saliva.  I whimpered in fear.

Desperateness and panic swam inside me.  I felt hot suddenly and sweat
seeped through every pore on my skin.

Somehow through all this, I found renewed energy to do something to
defend myself.  No matter how much I struggled against his hold, I
could not move my hands or roll away from underneath him.  It was as if
he was made up entirely of compacted muscles.

“Stop fighting!” he yelled, his face red with anger.  Throbbing veins
surfaced on his temples and thick neck from matching my wrestles.
Never did I heed him and continued to buck and thrash.

As a reward for my insolence, he backhanded me so hard that my head
bounced when it hit the bed.  It did not stop me though.

Aragorn, there I’ve said his name, became even more furious and
aggressive.  He sat on my chest and immobilized my hands to my side
with his folded legs.  The heavy weight on top of me was crushing my
lungs, leaving me almost breathless.

Using every resource I had, I tried to dislodge him.  With my legs I
used them to lift both our bodies up and bucked in hopes that I could
throw him off but no such luck.

To control me, he placed a flat palm on the middle of my collarbone
just below the neck, to restrict my movement while his other huge
calloused hand descended violently on my face; left and right, stinging
painfully.  The big ruby on his middle finger cut several times into my
left cheek while the base of the two rings – the ruby ring and the
wedding band – added solid pain to the impact.

My long blond hair flew, and my head snapped back and forth dizzily,
rendering me incoherent.  The loud smacking deafened my hearing.  He
kept going until I stopped moving.

Weakened by vertigo and the massive, pulsing hurt of my face, I was
vulnerable and at his mercy.

I tasted blood on both corners of my lips, which had swelled.  He
studied me for a while and then bent down and started to lick them.  I
flinched a little because it stung where his tongue touched the split
but I strained when he ran it further along the length of cuts on my
cheek.

I could not understand why the sight of blood seemed to excite him so. 
I am a peaceful person, never attacking anyone or anything unless
threatened.  Violence was never in my nature.

“Remember this, Legolas.  I am first - and last - man to claim the
right to be bound to you.  You belong only to me.  Obey me or I will
make you do it, but with more pain and suffering.”  I helplessly
listened, unable to answer him or take any actions to defend what was
left of my honour.

As a prince, I was born to be of service to my people.  No one can lay
claim on me like a piece of property, not even the King.

Through my limited sight because my cheeks had puffed up, I met his
silver eyes – they were cold and carnal.  There were no signs of love
or care.  How had Lord Elrond’s foster son turned into this monster? 
He had lived among elves almost all his life; I was puzzled with his
behaviour towards us.

A long time ago, I heard tales from the ancient elves that the
firstborns were cursed with beauty, grace and false sense of fragility
that caused men to seek us out for their greed.

I had not understood what greed they meant until now.

Before I could regain my strength to fight back, he quickly tied my
wrists together with a long silk sash, which had been draped over the
headboard, and then to the sturdy marble railings above me.  Then he
continued to grope me.

Soon he was eager to take me again.  He took the small bottle from the
side table and poured some liquid into his hand.  After returning the
bottle to the table, he began lubricating my hole quickly.

He pried my legs apart and forced his way in, stabbing several times at
my tightly closed portal until he managed to sheathe his huge tool
inside in one smooth movement.

It felt like Anduril inside me, burning and tearing my delicate flesh. 
I squeezed my eyes shut; my body arched involuntarily, almost snapping
in half while my fingers dug painfully into each other.  I tried
really, really hard to repress the scream but could not stop it.  The
sound came out so sickeningly.

Hot tears rolled off my face when I managed to open my eyes again and
stared in full concentration at the ceiling.  My breath traveled in and
out of my lungs laboriously.  I cried shamelessly and screamed without
care, laying bare my torn soul as well as my torn insides.

Why is he doing this? my mind screamed.  Stop!  Stop it! my heart
yelled and yet my mouth was unable to say it.  My throat had
constricted to almost a choking point.

“Oh, Legolas…..your body is driving me mad with fervor,” I heard him
panted between breaths.  “You’re mine, all mine!” he screamed further.

“Never!” I wailed, finding my voice for the first time but he did not
hear me.  He pumped harder instead, abrading my wrists from the tight
friction of the sash.

He cannot do this to me.  I am Prince Legolas of Mirkwood, son of King
Thranduil son of Great Oropher.  I belong to no one!  No one!

I sobbed again.  I was so ashamed of myself.

In the tiny fraction of a time that my body was free of intense pain,
my body responded eagerly to his rough handling especially when his
hairy abdomen rubbed constantly on my member.  I could not stifle the
moan under my breath even though waves of pain washed over me and I
held for dear life on that little boat of pleasure to keep me afloat.

Inexperienced and confused with this new sensation I spasmed suddenly,
and a strange and overpowering but wonderful feeling that held my mind
and body for several moments.

This evil man is raping me and yet I had to endure the
unwanted….pleasure?… that was forced on to me.

After hours of tortured pain – was it hours? – he finally stopped
pummeling me.  I witnessed with his final thrust, he frowned deeply and
then slowly a wide smile spread on his satisfied face.

I felt a burn inside me that made me grimace for a while (I was so
innocent that I did not know it was his seed that had bitten my wounds
inside).

“You’re such a beautiful creature, Legolas.  I will be most eager to
take you every night,” he commented, his voice all oily while he
slumped heavily on top of me and let his head rest on my heaving chest.
 My whole body shook uncontrollably, probably from the pain and crying.

When his breath had returned to normal again, he got off me and bent
over the bed to reach for something.  I had thought he was grabbing for
his clothes but I was shocked when he turned around to reveal a small
gold dagger still sheathed in a scabbard encrusted with red rubies and
sapphires.  Smaller gemstones filled the gaps on the handle and the
scabbard.

I recognised it as the ceremonial dagger, an heirloom of Gondor to be
passed from father to son on their wedding day.  I had read a lot while
in Rivendell as a child because I was fascinated and curious by many
things.  Lord Elrond was very pleased by my habits especially from one
so young.  He had often wished his twins would cultivate their fondness
for books instead of him making them read.

“Do you know about this dagger, Legolas?” he asked without looking at
me.  Instead his eyes studied the item on his hand, turning it back and
forth as if seeing it for the first time.

“Yes,” I answered simply.

“Do you know the significance of this dagger?” he asked again, this
time staring at me.

I let out a ragged breath before answering him.  “It is your family
heirloom, to be passed from father to son on his wedding day.”  My
voice sounded scratchy.

“Yes.  Someday, I wish to pass this to my son,” he said and pull out
the dagger from its casing, displaying a very sharp and well kept
blade.  It even reflected the lights that fell on its mirrored surface.

Then he stretched to the headboard and cut the sash, releasing my
wrists.  However before I could pull back my hands, he grabbed my right
wrist and pinned them painfully under his knee.  I yelped as his knee
pressed down further.  I struggled to extricate my hand.

I struggled to extricate my hand.  I hit his knee feebly, leaving red
fingerprints as well as bloodstains on his skin where my palm had
landed.

“This dagger will serve its true purpose today.”  I caught a glint in
one of his eyes and it sent shivers down my spine.  Does he mean to
kill me now?

Aragorn placed the scabbard on the bed and then gripped the fingers of
my right hand to expose my palm that had turned white from the lack of
blood circulation (I could also see three puncture wounds where my
nails had dug into them earlier).  I had a bad feeling about all this
and instinctively tried to clench it into a tight fist.

“What are you going to do to me?”  I fought the contents of my stomach
that were threatening to travel up my throat.  Already I could taste
the bitterness in my mouth.  Aragorn did not look at me or acknowledge
me.

In shocked terror, I witnessed as he positioned the blade on my palm
and drew a line, letting the blood flow slowly from the open wound.  I
hissed as pain began to throb sharply.  After he had done the same to
his own right palm, he removed his knee and clasped tightly his
bloodied hand on mine.  More blood and in larger amount from the
combined wounds, trickled down our forearms and dripped onto the bed,
soiling them.

Then, I felt something strange stirring from the palm of my hand. 
Warmth seemed to spread from within that slowly became hot.  The heat
was not unbearable but I panicked when it began to travel down my arm
and into my body.  I began to struggle again. 

To my relief, the heat seemed to have stopped on its own but something
else appeared.  It was vague at first but became more insistent and
distinct.  It did not feel like pain but on the borderline to it.  Soon
however, it became too overwhelming.  I gnashed my teeth and began to
fight feebly to pull my hand away.  Aragorn held it firmly, not letting
go.

“Do you feel the power of our bonding?  Now you are sharing your
immortality with me and we shall be together forever, Legolas Elessar
of the House of Telcontar,” he chanted his words dreamily.

That was the only thing I heard before I lost consciousness.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

To be conscious again was a curse.  My veins felt like they were filled
with hot lava.  Every joint that existed was stiff and there was a
throb in places that I never thought could ache.

An unchecked moan escaped from my throat.

Lifting a hand was like lifting a piece of heavy lead.  White bandages
were wrapped on both palms of my hands where they were wounded, down to
around my wrists.  It brought back memories of what Aragorn had done to
me but I shoved them away from my mind.  I was too tired and also not
ready to dwell in that at the moment.

Gently I brought one of my hands to my face to check the damages and
found it still swollen but not as bad as before.

My stomach rumbled – hunger.  I wondered how long I had not had food in
my stomach.

I cautiously adjusted my body under the thin blanket to a more
comfortable position.  It took a lot of effort as I was still weak and
in much pain.  To my dismay, I discovered three of my limbs were free
except my left ankle where a steel manacle was clasped and a short
chain attached to the bedpost.

Since there was nothing to do or anywhere to go, I used my time to
observe my surroundings methodically so that I would not miss anything.

My prison chamber was quite spacious, sparsely furnished with good
taste.  Beginning from the left wall, was a small, cold fireplace.  It
had a beautiful metal-cast screen imbedded by hinges so that it could
be swung open.  Two paces from it was a white bathtub lined with gold
set on top of a dark grey rug.  A stool was placed next to the bathtub.

Two, tall candelabras with nine candles stood on each opposite corners.
 The little crystal teardrops hanging beneath twinkled delicately as
light fell on the multi-faceted gems.  A lion’s paw table with matching
chair was against the opposite wall from me, next to the heavy Mahogany
door – my portal to freedom.

I could only guess that the whole bed frame was made of black marble
too, as I noticed the four posts itself was carved from marble,
depicting thin, sensual elves.  The coverlet on me was rich rouge
without any trimmings or embellishments.  There was also a side table
on the left bed and another door that I guessed led to the bathroom on
my right. 

The only two windows on the right wall of my prison were hung rich
maroon curtains, closely matching the coverlet of the bed, with
embroidered intricate designs of gold threads.  Sheer curtains were
drawn over it, blocking the view outside but I could see distorted
shapes of rods barring the windows.

The whole chamber was camouflaged to fill one with a sense of luxury
and sensuality but the bars on the windows shattered its carefully
designed effect.

I longed to go to the windows and look out.  I also wished to feel the
sun on my skin, to feel alive again but just as it is, it was a wish
and a hope.

Still feeling tired from the last ordeal and from the aching that
refused to lessen, I closed my eyes to sleep and let my healing set to
work.  I was sure today I would not get any food.  However it was easy
to forget my hunger as exhaustion conquered my needs.

There was nothing I could do.  I would have to figure that out later.




6.  Real Intentions

My mood was foul this morning and my temper threatened to burst.  Added
with the lack of nutrition that caused my hands to tremble, it made me
even more irritated and impatient.

I hated my prison with its cold, stone walls and sick attempt to dilute
its purpose.  I hated being locked up against my will and
especially…I…DESPISED…Aragorn.  This man had betrayed my trust, taken
my chastity without consent and forced me into a wedlock that I did not
want.

I had woken up with a heavy heart this morning but I hated myself for
wallowing in self-pity and for being so weak.

Determined to fight this and survive, even for a while longer so I can
get away, I turned my sorrow to anger.  It was not my wish to die alone
so far away from Mirkwood and my family.  However, if that is not
possible, at least I could die honorably.

I am a proud prince and warrior; and I definitely did not want to be
reduced to a piece of flesh, to be used as seen fit by a mere man.

I was only a babe when my nana was killed.  At that time, my two
brothers were just entering their majority.  Without our nana’s care
and love, ada had taken the extra role to be both parents to us.

Truthfully, I cannot really recall her image in my mind most of the
time.  Usually it’s only a fuzzy picture of a pale and ethereal beauty
looking at me.  There was only the one portrait hung in ada’s
bedchamber.  I often went in to stare at it for a very long time and
tried to imagine what she was like.

The big age gap between my siblings and I meant that either they
bullied me or I would trail along with them like a cute puppy.  Usually
it was the latter as ada often pressed them to relent to my every whim,
owing to my young age.  On the occasion I did not get what I wanted, I
would throw a tantrum that would send everyone into exasperation.

Right now, I felt one coming.  I threw a white pillow to the door and
it bounced uselessly to the floor.  Then I grabbed more pillows that I
could get my hands on and threw them aimlessly.
As my eyes searched for more things to target, I heard the click from
the lock and the door opened.  A young servant girl entered, carrying a
tray with breakfast.

Food, finally.  It irritated me even further to think that that man had
purposely forgotten to feed me since my captivity here.
She bowed respectfully and then walked towards me, noticing the mess I
had made.

Carefully she placed the tray on the side of the bed, near my legs and
bowed again.  Then she turned around and started to pick up the pillows
on the floor.

Taking a sniff at the bowl of steaming porridge, I wrinkled my nose in
disgust.  This food was fit only for an orc.

I hate human food.  Greatly vexed, I took the bowl and threw it to the
floor forcefully.

The girl jumped and turned around to see what happened.

I took the glass of pink juice and threw it against the wall, breaking
the glass into thousand pieces and splashing the sweet sticky liquid
all over.  Some of it stained the curtains.

Fear showed in her face.  One look on my face made her dropped the
pillows to the floor and ran out of the chamber screaming.  I could
still hear her frightened wails as she ran down the passage.  I could
not help the naughty smirk that formed on my lips.

A guard outside peered cautiously from behind the doorframe.  I had not
counted that my captor would post a guard outside my prison.  Seeing
the mess and the scowl on my face, he jumped to close the door and lock
it.  Then I heard him scurry away, probably to inform the King.

‘I don’t care if Aragorn comes,’ I told myself.

“Aaaarrrrggggghhhh!!” I yelled in frustration and kicked the tray off
the bed.  It clattered loudly, splashing all its contents.  “I want my
freedom!  I need my freedom!”  Then I thrashed my legs like a small
child.  It amazed me that I still clung to my childish behavior but I
had only just reached my majority.  It would probably take me several
centuries more before I became obliged to behave like an adult.

Soon I heard footsteps running to my prison chamber.  Unlike other men,
Aragorn was the only one who could run lightly, almost as graceful as
elves.

The King burst into the room, a worried expression on his face.  The
guard stood just outside, wary of my every move.

The man’s grey eyes took in the mess and then finally my face.  Within
moments his feature transformed into something horrible that sent a
chill to my bone.

With just a few quick strides, he advanced upon me and smacked me so
brutally that I stumbled back onto the bed.  A sharp sting throbbed on
the side of my face and I could hear my ear ringing loudly.  Before I
could get up, he punched my abdomen once, forcing the air out of my
lungs and adding more pain.  Clutching my belly, I lay unmoving.

“Don’t ever throw a tantrum again,” he snapped.

“Release me from this accursed prison!” I lashed out defiantly after my
pain had subsided to a bearable level.

Unexpectedly, Aragorn jumped on top of me and pinned me down by
circling a hand around my throat tightly.  He moved his head so close
to my face that I could see every weathered line below his eyes.  His
fingers clenched my throat to the point that I saw stars popping in my
vision.

I tried to pry and pull his hand away but was unsuccessful for the
bandages bound tightly around my palms hindered me.

“You can forget it.  You belong to me now and you will stay here
forever,” he hissed, enraged.

“My ada will come for me soon,” I retorted in a strained voice as he
gripped harder.  My head ached terribly and the constricted blood flow
pounded loudly in my ears.

“Not likely, so don’t put your hopes up.  No one will ever know you’re
here.”

“What do you mean?” I demanded, my eyes narrowing.

He kept quiet, refusing to answer me.

“What do you want from me?  Why did you bond me to you?”  My temper had
subsided a little and I wanted to know what this man has in mind for
me.  I searched his face, intent on getting as much of an answer as I
could.

“I want all of you,” he answered in a controlled tone.

He let go of my throat.  Immediately the throbbing lessened and I drew
in long shuddering breaths.  “I want every single part of you forever,”
he repeated his intention, to stress his point.

I arched an eyebrow haughtily.

“The first time I laid eyes on you, when my foster father introduced
you, I set my heart on you.  However, you distanced yourself from me
and you stayed with the others, especially that blond from Lorien.  I
was so hurt and angry when the two of you spent so much time together
and especially when you let him so close to you.”

Aragorn now sat on his heels, easing the pressure on my upper chest.

“With whom I spend my time is my business.  What gives you the right to
take me like this?  Don’t forget, you’re already married!” I spat, my
anger returning.

“What rights?  I am a king and I take what I want, including whomever I
desire,” he said curtly.

“How dare you!” I shouted angrily.

“I am jealously possessive as well as greedy.  Arwen accepts my
faults,” Aragorn chortled cynically.  I did not know what did he found
amusing but I was deeply disturbed by what he had said.

“There’s more, lirimaer [lovely one],” he sneered wolfishly.  My eyes
narrowed venomously at his boldness to call me in such an affectionate
way.

“You see, my Queen Arwen has been barren for all these years that we
have been together.  I need heirs.”

“What has that got to do with me?”  Curiosity caught my attention. 
Surely he was not implying that I had to impregnate his wife?  Was that
why he bound me to him?  A threesome could be quite a crowd.

“I’ve made you my consort and YOU will carry my heirs,” he beamed
proudly as if he had won a tournament.

“You’re mad.  I am a MALE elf!  How can I produce heirs?”  The man was
definitely out of his mind.  Probably the stress of being a king had
gotten to him.  I sympathized the heavy burdens that weighed on one’s
shoulders when one is dedicated to the entire nation.  My ada seemed to
enjoy his power but then again, he had had several thousand years in
which to get used to it.

“With a little magic potion you will give me as many children as I
want,” he said, still smiling smugly.

I pictured myself with a big belly and a bunch of scruffy elflings
surrounding me.

Total absurdity!

This time I roared with laughter forgetting my predicament for the
moment.

“What is so funny?” he demanded, confused with my behaviour.

“Me?  Pregnant?  Hahahaha!”  More tears rolled off my cheeks, as I
could not stop laughing.  “If Queen …… Arwen is ….. barren, …..why
don’t ….. you give ……her the potion?”  I laughed even harder and tried
to breathe at the same time.

If the previous day’s encounter had not happened, I would have thought
that Aragorn and the twins had got together to trap me into one of
their pranks but it was not so.  Unfortunately what was happening to me
was real.

“Believe me, a’maelamin. [my beloved] I am not jesting.  I want only
you to carry my heirs now.  I want only you to fill my life with your
laughter and OUR palace with OUR beautiful children.”  Aragorn’s face
was dead serious.  His gaze locked on my face and did not falter.

I made myself stop laughing and observed him through my blurred vision.
 Unstoppable hiccups sometimes threatened to start me laughing again.

“No, you’re just jesting,” my head shook with denial, still unable to
accept the truth.  “Right?”  A doubt settled in my mind.

“We performed the complete union, Legolas ELESSAR,” he spoke evenly
without any expression on his face except the movement of his mouth. 
“Remember that we were bound through our first lovemaking and also
through the ritual blood-infusion.  We share immortality now.  Don’t
you think I’m serious enough?”

Horror crept into me like a dark shadow and held me stubbornly in its
grotesquely gnarled fingers.  Could we really share immortality?

I stared at his face searchingly.  Slowly it dawned on me that he had
changed, physically.  I could see that the hair on his head were
thicker and fuller, the colour more vibrant and shining.  The lines on
his face had faded considerably making him looked younger.  Even the
muscles on his shoulders were well toned and solid as it showed through
the tight tunic he was wearing.  Only his eyes never changed.  It still
held the same cold, cruel and calculative gaze.

How could this happen to me?  What have I done that the Valar decided
to punish me with such fate?  I had never shown vainness and had always
been humble.

“Your people will never accept this bond and this child.  You know how
terrified they are about sorcery,” I tried to reason with him.  Surely
he could see this coming.

“I am not worried about it,” he shrugged noncommittally but offered no
further explanation.  “Well melamin [my love], I leave you to your
thoughts.  I must get back to work.  See you tonight.”  He bent down
and gave me a quick kiss on my lips before getting off me.

After he left, the chamber turned deathly silent as nothing stirred. 
Only the sound of my breathing hovered in the room.

Still stunned, I failed to move a single muscle in my body.

“Noooooooo!” I howled suddenly, unable to hold my emotions any longer. 
My hands hit the mattress ineffectively, as I vented my frustrations.

The man had sealed a deadly fate for me.




7.  Hot Bath (* Night time from chapter 6 *)

What appealed to me the most about nighttime was the chance to see the
stars twinkling, a source of wonder to me since childhood.

In Mirkwood, ada, my two brothers and I would stay up late into the
night to watch it.  Sometimes we were lucky enough to see a
‘long-tailed star’ trailing above us.  

Whenever the full moon appeared, ada would take us to his favourite
pool and we would have a nice long soak in it.  There, he would point
out to us the different stars and name them.  Then he would tell us a
tale about them.  Often I ended up knowing half the story as I fell
asleep easily in ada’s warm embrace.

On other nights, we would just lie on a flat clearing and look up
silently, letting our minds drift freely.  I always knew what ada was
thinking about.  There was never a doubt in my mind.  It hurt me
sometimes to see him when his thoughts would drift to nana.  However, I
was unable to do anything to cheer him up because I had no recollection
of my nana.  The only thing that we both shared and reminded my ada
about her was my eyes and my mouth.

I remembered one summer when I was an elfling, a time when I was just
able to form long sentences in my speech, I would tell ada to catch me
a star.  I had heard many times from my siblings that sometimes little
stars came down to Middle-Earth to play and if we were lucky we would
see them.

Ada smiled and brought me to the garden.  True enough, I saw many
flying around the rose bushes and on other flowerbeds.  We would run
around trying to catch one.  Ada always catches one and he would put it
in my small fisted hand.  I would peek through the small hole that I
made with the base of my thumb and pointing finger and watched in rapt
fascination as it blinked.

Fond memories of Mirkwood evaporated as the early nightfall of winter
came too swiftly.  Tonight would be different and I became more
agitated as the hours pass by.  This morning’s revelation had shocked
me to the core.  My naivety and lack of experience about men’s
behaviour had cost me dearly.

Different scenarios of escape played in my mind.  If I did not succeed,
at least I could try to escape from him for tonight.  My plans were not
exactly guaranteed success but I felt less helpless.
All too soon, I heard a band of people marching towards my prison
chamber.

When Aragorn entered, he brought a tow of servants, each carrying a
bucket of steaming water while the last two in line carried trays – one
was laden with food while the other, two crystal wine glasses and a
bottle of white wine.

The servants worked silently and swiftly, never once stealing glances
at me.  Only one came close to me.  He spread a thick downs quilt
beneath the coverlet and a pile of new clean clothes on a nearby chair.

Then one of them lit the fireplace.  Being an elf, I am impartial to
heat and cold of the weather.  However, I welcomed the warmth it gave. 
This chamber was always so cold for some reason.

The King stood by the window watching the activities.  I could sense
sometimes he shifted his gaze towards me but I refused to meet his
stares.

Once finished, the servants were quickly dismissed.

The silence was welcoming this time.  I like to hear the crackling and
sizzling of the fire.  It always brings back happier memories.  Neither
of us moved a muscle.  I could tell he was still watching me while I
continued to stare into the fire.

After sometime, I heard him walking towards me.  I steeled my nerves
not to show any fear.

Standing in front of me, he blocked the view of the fireplace.  I
looked up and found him staring at me, as if there was something on my
face.

When he made the first move, I jumped.  An amused smile formed on his
face that made me blush slightly from embarrassment.  He reached into
his pocket and retrieved a golden chain with a key hanging from it. 
Throwing the covers to one side, he bent down to place the key in the
lock.

As soon as he released my leg, I pulled it hurriedly and started
inspecting the sore where the steel clamp had abraded.  I could see
angry wounds around it after my episode this morning.

Just as he reached out to grab me, I crawled backwards but was not fast
enough – curse his elven reflexes!  One of his hands caught my leg and
started to pull me back to him.  I tried to kick his hand away with my
other leg but he managed to grab that too.

In the most undignified manner, he tugged me down.  As my body slid
towards him, my undershirt went opposite, causing it to expose my full
nakedness and finally it bunched up above my chest.  If I had not
brought down my hands, it would have continued to slide over my head.

Before I could protest, he scooped me up into his arms.  I tried my
best to cover myself up.  It was an outrage for a Prince to be
mistreated in such manner.  Then again, I had already received quite a
lot of abuse from him since being kept here.  Who knows how much more I
would get in the near future?

When we got to the bathtub, he let me down gently on the plush blue
carpet.  Then he made a move to take off the only piece of clothing I
had on.  I batted his hands away and tried to make a dash for the door.
 However, I could only managed two steps before he caught my waist and
dragged me back.

“Let go of me!” I yelled, and tried to hit his crotch with my hand. 
Aragorn had already anticipated my intention.  Arms still around my
waist, he hoisted me off the floor while I kicked uselessly in the
empty space.

“If you stop fighting, then I might be persuaded to be nicer to you!”
he said in a strained voice.  “I only want to let you take a bath. 
Surely you would have a strong urge for that by now?” he continued. 
Knowing defeat, I stopped struggling and let him lower me down.

“Yes,” I mumbled and my shoulders sagged, suddenly feeling tired.

“Go ahead, before the water gets cold,” his voice was more loving this
time.

“Could you please turn around?” I did not want to take off my clothes
while he looked.

He cocked an eyebrow at me.  “I don’t think so.  I’m not letting you
out of my sight.”

I looked at him and then at the bathtub where the steam was rising in
little wisp.  The water was so inviting that I could not resist it. 
Besides, I needed to get rid of his smell and his stains on my body
desperately.

Turning around so that my back faced him, I slipped the undershirt
tentatively over my head and let it fall to the floor.  Then I stepped
quickly into the tub.

It felt so good as my body fully submerged into the hot water.  All the
tight knots in my muscles immediately began to unwind and I felt
calmness wash over me.  I closed my eyes and let my senses drift
freely, temporarily forgetting my surroundings.  The scented oil that
the servant had added into the water slowly wafted into my nostrils,
relaxing me even further.  I could almost hear myself purr with
contentment.

A pair of hands on my shoulders brought me back to reality.  I opened
my eyes and saw a naked body towering above me.  The most revolting
sight was his limp member dangling dangerously close to my face.  I
knew he did it on purpose just to taunt me.

Without invitation, he joined me in the tub.  I moved as far back away
from him as possible, becoming alert and following his every movement.

“I need a bath too,” he smiled sheepishly.  “I am not like other men. 
I grew up among elves, remember?”

How could I forget?

“How could you be so violently cruel to me especially when I am also an
elf and might I remind you, we were brothers?”  I had to refer to our
relationship as a past because my faith in him was betrayed.  I should
never have trusted him from the first day I met him.  I should have
listened to my instinct.  So many should have and I had failed myself
and got myself into this mess.  “Do you take pleasure in making another
suffer so?”

“No, Legolas,” his hands splashed some water on his tan hairy chest. 
“I’m sorry that I have been very harsh on you but your actions and
resistance infuriate me.”

“I think I have the right to defend myself.”  My eyes narrowed with
disapproval.  For the first time, he looked away from me, as if
embarrassed or avoiding something.  I could not care less because I
hated him and what he had done was unforgivable.  “I trusted you as
Elladan and Elrohir did.  Even Lord Elrond had his complete confidence
in you.  What have I done to earn such treatment from you?”

Aragorn did not immediately answer me.  Instead he reached to the small
table where the trays were laid and poured some wine into the two
glasses.

“Here,” he said, handing me a glass.  I took it and smelled the
contents.  “I didn’t put any drugs in it,” he chuckled.

“I merely want to smell the wine,” I retorted, eyeing him a little
suspiciously.

He raised his glass, clinking with my glass before taking a sip.

Wine was not one of my favourite drinks but this one tasted very good. 
It was fruity, light and refreshing.

“You have not answered my question yet,” I reminded him.

“I saw Haldir enter your bedchamber in Rivendell.  Therefore, it is
only natural to assume that every time you fought against me, you were
trying to save yourself for him.”  His gazes locked on to my face,
studying me for my reaction.

Shock gripped me.  I did not think anyone had witnessed Haldir enter my
bedchamber that night.  I warned him to be sure that no one would see
him go in.  My father would not be happy to hear such news in Mirkwood,
no matter how innocent the situation can be.  Nevertheless, Haldir was
not wrong in this matter for I am sure he had been careful.  Only that
he could not avoid it, if someone were to spy on us purposely.

“Were you two lovers?” he broke into my chain of thoughts.

This time it was my turn to study his feature.  I found it strange that
he would refer my relationship to Haldir as a past.  He may have
claimed me as his consort but without my heart, he has nothing.

“When I first met Haldir, he was already a MarchWarden for Lord
Celeborn and Lady Galadriel.  It happened that on my first visit I met
him while he was on duty carrying important messages between Imladris
and Lorien.  The second time I met him was when he appeared in Mirkwood
for a brief visit.  We have a very close …….connection to each other.” 
I purposely answered in a vague manner, wanting to see his reaction.

“You mean like a lover’s bond?” Aragorn interrupted impatiently.

So, he was jealous of Haldir.  Everything seemed to fall into places –
the sword fights, his venomous stares and barely concealed dislike
towards the Lorien elf.  I had thought that Aragorn did not like the
elf for his arrogance.  Was Aragorn so good at concealing himself that
no one, no even his own foster father had detected the treachery in the
family?

“No.  As with my family, Haldir loved me dearly and was very protective
over me.  He was very much like my own brother…….who would never harm
me.”

I could see the man’s tensed muscles relaxed after my revelation yet it
angers me at the same time that he did not seem to take note of my last
sentence.  He seemed to be casually indifferent about it.

“I told him to come to my chamber because there are many things I
wanted to catch up with him for I have not seen him for almost two
centuries since his last visit to Mirkwood.”

“I see,” as he churned this new information in his mind.

I wondered that if I did not sort out this misunderstanding, would he
try to hurt Haldir?

“Did you do anything to Haldir the night you kidnapped me?”  I prayed
in my heart that no harm comes to him.

“No,” he answered simply.  “Let me wash your hair,” he said, changing
the subject.

“No,” I refused flatly.  “I will do it myself.”  I placed the glass of
wine on the floor beside the tub.
The man shrugged and handed me a glass bottle.  I took it and opened
the cap.  When I held it close to my nose I could smell a sweet flowery
aroma.  Dabbing the liquid onto my hair, I washed quickly though a bit
clumsily as my palms were still bandaged.  Then I dipped my whole head
under the water.  When I sat up, I felt the water chased down along my
silky blond hair.  I wiped my face as some of it dripped from my
forehead too.  It felt so good now that I finally had the chance to
clean myself thoroughly.  Aragorn took the opportunity to do the same.

As the water had turned cold, he got up, dried himself and wrapped the
towel around his waist.  He also handed a towel for me too.

Taking it, I used it to cover myself as I got up.

Just as I was about to step out of the tub, the King bent down and
tried to pick me up but this time I was too quick for him.  I dashed to
the bed and slipped under the thick quilt.

My actions seemed to tickle him because I heard him chortle lightly as
he walked over to the bed.  I pulled the towel from around me and
wrapped it on my head to dry my wet hair.

The bed dipped slightly as he climbed into bed, and sat next to me.

Suddenly, he grabbed my one of my wrists, snatched the towel and threw
it to the floor.  I tried to pull my wrist back, feeling fear creeping
into my spine.

Without saying a word, he started to pull off the bandages and inspect
the wounds.  He did the same to the other.  Satisfied, he let go of my
hands without re-bandaging it.

“You are healing quickly,” he remarked.

“I am an elf,” I quipped.

“A very beautiful elf,” he corrected me.  “Let’s eat and then we will
go to sleep.”

Did I hear wrong?  I eyed him cautiously.  He must have felt it.

“Unless you wish to do something else?”  He eyed me suggestively.

“No, I need rest,” I answered quickly.

We ate quietly, each in his thoughts.

As we prepared to sleep, I thought he was going to give me a clean
undershirt to put on.

“I’m not used to sleeping naked.  Can I have something to wear?” I
asked Aragorn when I saw that he was laying the quilts over us.

“No.  You will sleep naked whenever I am with you.”  Saying that, he
pulled me down and pressed his naked body against my bare back, which
made me very uncomfortable.

I was about to protest.  “I said no, Legolas,” he snapped
threateningly.

With a barely restrained anger, I laid down quietly.  A hand crept over
my waist and wrapped itself possessively as he snuggled closer against
me.  However being too tired, I soon fell asleep.


8.  Punishable By The King Of Gondor

Strong gusts of wind rattled the glass windows continuously. 
Occasionally loud tapping sounds as water droplets were splashed onto
the glass could be heard.  The noises were so loud that they woke me
up.  Slowly, my mind drift back, to full consciousness.

Strangely, my body shivered from the cold.  Probably I was weakening
from the effects of grief.  Naturally, I pulled the thick quilt up to
my neck and I balled myself up tightly.

Without intention, a nagging thought surfaced and soon it became clear
to me.  Firstly, I was alone in bed and secondly, I could move my legs
freely.  Aragorn must have forgotten to shackle my ankle.

My heart raced at that thought and without wasting a moment, I sat up
and immediately surveyed the room to make sure I was really alone.  I
also pushed the covers away to inspect my ankle.

I was really free!

For the first time, my heart pumped furiously with joy and excitement. 
The fact that I finally had a chance to escape was unbelievable.

My eyes searched around for something to wear.  Then I saw a clean
undershirt draped over the back of a chair.  I got out of bed gingerly,
grabbed it and put it on quickly.  The thin material felt soft and cool
on my skin.  It was mostly white except some silver-blue trimmings and
shinning-gold treading in intricate elvish designs on the lapels of the
shirt.

As usual, the length just barely covered my dignity.  It would not be
enough for my long journey back to Mirkwood.  I would have to steal
some clothes when I get the chance, but right now it would have to
suffice.

My next problem would be to get rid of the guard posted outside.  I
looked around for something that I could use as a weapon but found none
useful.  Severely without options, I would have to rely on my wits to
get out of this.

I crept to hide against the wall, just behind the door, so that when he
opened it I would be safely out of sight.

“Aaahhh!  Help me!” I cried loudly.  The guard must come in to check on
me and this was the one and only chance I have.  Otherwise, who knows
when I would get the opportunity to try to escape next time.

The door was opened hesitantly and a head of brown hair peered
cautiously from behind it.  The guard was smart in being careful but he
did not realised that his prisoner was free from the manacle.  Surprise
would be my only weapon at the moment.

Before he noticed that I was not lying on the bed, I grabbed his head
and yanked him inside.  A hard jab in the abdomen with my knee and a
quick punch to his nose sent him doubling over, crumbling to the floor.

The man cursed while holding his bloodied and broken nose.

I threw open the door widely and jumped out of the chamber.  For the
first time, I saw what was outside my prison.  Again I was not left
with much choice.

Apparently my prison chamber was situated right at the very end of a
long, wide passage.  There were few doors along the left wall and the
right stone wall was graced only with paintings of elven folklores. 
Pity I did not have the time to study them, as I love all folklore.

The lack of servants’ presence and few chambers indicated that I was
living at a very private wing of the palace.  That probably also meant
that I was somewhere deep within the castle.  As I never had the chance
to look out of the windows in my prison chamber I could not tell where
I was.

From my quick assessment, there were no openings or windows to allow
entry of the natural lights from Anar.  The only light came from the
two rows of beautifully carved or wrought metal torch holders on the
walls.  I did not know which material was used because I did not wish
to waste time finding out.

A pair of delicate white hands with their palms up, held each deep
glass bowl where the yellow flame danced on the surface of clear
liquid.  The eerie thing was that the hands that protruded out of the
walls seemed natural, as if an extension of the wall or someone was
buried inside the wall, leaving the hands to show.

Pressed for time, I started to run down the aisle, hoping that no one
would appear on the other end before I got there.  Reaching the end, I
found that I had two choices.  There were two corridors on opposite
sides that could lead to my freedom though none looked promising. 
While I pondered on which side to go, a shout from behind me prompted
me to hurry.

Praying to Elbereth for guidance, I chose the right.  I took off with
all speed and grace as all elves do.  My heart pounded with each step I
took, sending more adrenaline into every fiber of my body.

Unfortunately before I got very far, a group of five guards were just
coming out of one of the chambers.  They were chatting and laughing
jovially until they saw me.  Everyone stopped dead in his tracks.

From a surprised expression, it slowly turned into lust.  I could see
their eyes bulging, almost popping out of their sockets.  I could guess
what was going on in their minds as Aragorn had shown me several times.
 With my long blond hair framing my face, I probably appeared like a
maiden to them.  At the same time, my skimpy clothing made matters
worst as my pale skin revealed too much but not the most important
detail.

Suddenly a shout from behind me made them look over me, almost
reluctantly.

“Catch him!” cried the voice behind me again.  The guards seemed
puzzled by his command.

Taking the opportunity in their distraction, I doubled back to the
direction I had come from because it would be much easier to deal with
one guard than five.  

Realization dawned on them too late.  I heard them shouting for me to
stop and stomping after me like a herd of cattle.

The guard with the bloodied face opened his arms wide to catch me but I
was ready to retaliate.  As soon as I was close enough, I lashed out to
punch his face but he was prepared too and caught my fisted hand in
time.  Without missing a beat, I used my body weight to twist out of
his grasp, whirled around and landed behind him.

Before he got over his surprise, I lifted my right leg and ram it
heavily behind his knee, sending him down to the smooth flagstones.  I
heard a sharp crack of bones snapping, followed immediately by a scream
of pain.  The man crumpled onto the floor in heap, holding the injured
limb in agony.

Without wasting anymore time, I ran towards the other corridor that I
did not chose at first.  This part of the passage was sparsely
decorated with paintings and tapestries.  However, the further I went
the more richly ornate the palace became.  Not knowing where I was
going, I just hoped I was not heading deeper into the palace.  It was
difficult to be sure within this maze.

Rounding the third corner, I had not realised in my flight that someone
was coming from the other side until I crashed into a broad, hard
chest.

“Oof!” I heard him huff.  The impact was quite severe because I had
been running very fast.  I bounced backward and would have toppled if
he had not caught my upper arms.  Even after I had steadied myself, his
hands did not leave me.

I was keenly aware that I had bumped into two men.

When I looked up, to my utter horror, the last person I would expect to
run into was Aragorn himself.  He was just as surprised as I was but it
quickly turned into fury.  I did not get the chance to see who the
other person was because my attentions were too caught up with my foe.

Within moments, the five guards who finally caught up were also
surprised to confront the King.

“Sire.  Lord Boromir,” I heard them salute abruptly.

Fueled by panic and fear, I tried to liberate myself from his steel
grip and started to kick him but Aragorn pushed me back until I slammed
against the wall.  My head hit the stone wall with a loud thud that
made the others jump.

Stars appeared in front of my eyes while darkness began closing in.  I
winced while a pitiful moan rumbled inside my throat.  My legs nearly
gave out beneath me.  I would have succumbed to unconsciousness if his
fingers had not dug painfully into my flesh, keeping me from slipping
away.

Before I even recovered, Aragorn turned me around and twisted my left
arm painfully behind me.  I yelped out loud.  He pinned me very
securely, making sure I could not fight back, although I tried and only
managed to scrape my face on the rough wall instead.

“How did he get out?” he questioned his guards sternly.

No one answered him but I could hear them shifting uncomfortably.
Moments later he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me back to
his body.  Then he lifted me while one arm was still twisted behind me.
 Unable to move, I dangled by his side helplessly like a stuffed doll.

“You two…..follow me,” I heard him order.  “I will see you later
Boromir.”  I could not hear what the other man replied because the King
had already turned away from him and started to walk.

How much more humiliation could an elven Prince suffer, to be carried
away like a child and not to mention that my naked backside flashed
freely for anyone to see?

Instead of pondering whether I was blushing from embarrassment or
simply all the blood rushing to my head, I was fearful of the
punishment he would surely bestow on me later.

The four of us marched (I dangled all the way) solemnly back to my
prison chamber.  Several times I grunted as his arm dug into my stomach
because I bounced a lot.  Like a defeated prisoner, I did not struggle
or yell.

Halfway we met the guard whom I had fought earlier with.  He was
limping painfully towards where I had bumped into Aragorn.  His eyes
widened in surprise at meeting us, especially his King.

“Sire, I’m…I’m…” he stammered, fully aware that he had failed in his
duty.

“Go to the healers now,” commanded the King.

“Yes, your Majesty,” he answered, relief evidently shown on his face. 
He gave a bow cautiously and then hobbled away.

I had expected the man to give me a venomous look for getting him into
trouble but I saw only pity in his eyes, knowing that I would be in
much trouble for this attempted escape.  I felt guilty for making him
hurt so much as he was only doing his duty.

It did not take long for us to reach the prison chamber.  I wished it
would be an eternity to get here.  My heart pounded furiously as gloom
began to spread its way around me.  I was panicking and terrified of
entering that chamber.

Once inside, he dropped me on to the bed.  I tried to use the
opportunity to clamber away though a bit too slow due to my stiff arm
from being twisted too long behind my back.  He caught my waist, hauled
me back and positioned half my body on the bed, leaving my other half
over the side, fully exposing my naked buttocks.

I struggled frantically.  He was going to execute my punishment.

“Hold him down securely,” I heard him order.  The guards did as they
were told.

‘Please, please don’t rape me in front of them,’ my heart pleaded.  I
had suffered enough humiliation for one day that would last me a
lifetime.

Suddenly, I heard a crack and a fiery sting invaded my taut bottom.  He
was whipping me with something flat, probably a belt.

I clenched my teeth hard, not wanting to make any noise but I could not
stop my tears from flowing.  Luckily my unbraided hair cascaded around
my face, allowing me to hide them behind it.

The burns kept invading all my senses and I did not know how many
lashes he gave me as I had lost count half way.  I was tiring from all
the tensed muscles and in too much pain.  I did not know how long I
could hold on to.

Finally he stopped and I heard him panting amidst my soft sobs. 
Without a word, the two guards let go of me and left the chamber.  I
briefly wondered if they thought I was a harlot to their King.

I did not attempt get up because I could not move.  I was too stiff and
the hurt on my rear end still throbbed terribly.  I felt Aragorn kissed
my buttocks where it hurts the most, lovingly and tenderly; and then he
wrapped himself around me.

“You are my consort, Legolas and therefore, you are required to stay
here.  Today, you’ve been very bad and your disobedience must be
punished,” he whispered into my ear.  “I love you very much.  Do you
know that?”

“I didn’t ask for this,” I sobbed bitterly.  “I did not want your love
and I did not want to be your consort.  I want my family and my life
back!”

“Why do you hate me so?” he asked, louder this time.

Abruptly, he got up and turned me around to face him.  I cringed
because my buttocks suffered from the unexpected movements.

“I have been trying to be nice to you and you have treated me with
nothing but contempt!” he bellowed.

“You took me against my will!” I yelled shrilly.  I stared at him with
burnt hatred.

His face turned dark red and his eyes looked as if it would pop out. 
Suddenly, a hand flew down and struck me so hard that I lay dazed for a
while.

“So be it.  I will have you as I wish!” he hissed dangerously.

With that, he pulled down his leggings and started to stroke himself. 
It did not take long for his eager manhood to spring to life.

Terror awoke in me and I tried to get away from him.  Unfortunately, he
had anticipated my intentions.  He grabbed my upper arms and shoved me
to the middle of the bed.  Even though my backside felt like the skin
was being peeled from it, I endured.  It was nothing compared to what
he was about to do to me.

In a futile attempt, I scratched and clawed at him but he gripped my
neck and squeezed it.  Choking, I tried to pull his hand away. 
Colourful stars burst in my vision and a loud ringing noise filled my
hearings.  I tried to kick him but was unable to raise them.  Then my
lungs burned because I could not breathe.

All was lost when I perceived something wet against my opening and then
he penetrated me immediately.  A strangled sob tore from my throat and
I almost black out.

Without letting me adjust to his intrusion, he began pounding me
brutally.  I felt him let go of his hand from my neck and started to
lick it.  Just as I was about to draw precious air into my lungs, he
crushed his mouth to my lips and bit them, drawing blood from them.  I
cried into his mouth as my hands clutched his tunic so tightly as to
almost tear it.

The torture was unbearable yet he did not stop.  He was so intent on
hurting me even more.  Whenever I could, I tried to breathe, to recover
enough strength to fight him.  Every time that I was able to muster
some energy within me, I almost wasted it on screaming.

Luckily (or not), the man came quickly and withdrew without care.  I
lay unmoving, soaked through with sweats and trembling furiously. 
Something warm trickled between the cleft of my buttocks, its amount
too much to be just semen. 

Aragorn’s face was flushed and wet.  His hair had pasted around his
face, making him look like a dangerous predator.

Thinking that it was over as I saw him stand on his knees, I was
greatly dismayed when he began taking off all his clothes instead. 
Then he did the same to me.

“I’m not done with you yet,” he leered, probably he had notice the look
on my face.  “You will learn your lesson well today, for displeasing
your master.”

My heart sank into a bottomless pit.  How would I survive after this,
as he had no intention of killing me and putting me out of my misery?

Aragorn pulled me up and shoved me to the headboard.  “On your knees,
and spread them apart,” he commanded.

I did what I was told, albeit reluctantly.  It was difficult to move
quickly, as my body did not allow it and my head was spinning
nauseatingly.  More bodily fluid seeped from my sore hole and it
dribbled down my inner thighs.  I did not dare to look down because I
did not wish to see my own blood.

All the same, he did not waste any time.  I heard him open the drawer
to the side table and then, when he circled his arms around me I saw
that he was holding a long piece of silk rope.  He grabbed both of my
wrists and tied them together securely on one of the carved marble
railings.

Free to do what he wished, he started by running his hand down my back.
 “You have such a sensual spine.  It makes my fingers tingle by just
touching it,” he whispered from behind me.

When the hand reached my raw buttocks, he kneaded them, making me
squeal.  I wrestled feebly as I had not fully recovered from my first
attack.  Everything below my waist seemed to pulse with much distress.

“Do you know how much my body yearns for you every time I think of you,
hhhmmm…..?  Do you know that I would love to have my hard member inside
you all the time, feeling the heat radiating from inside you?” he
muttered under his heavy breathing.

The words were disgusting to my ears.  I attempted to press my upper
arms over them to stop them from being abused by his sick thoughts.

“I know your body enjoys having me pounding you hard, doesn’t it,
Legolas?” he continued, undaunted by my actions.  “You like it hard and
rough, isn’t it?  You like being submissive, to surrender to my every
whim.”

“Tampa ta! [Stop it!]  I’m sorry I tried to escape.  I will never do it
again,” I cried.  “Just, please stop it.  Saes [Please].”

“Too late, Legolas.  I’ve been very nice to you and now you will suffer
by your own decision.”

“No, don’t….,” I whimpered.

“Don’t…. what, Legolas?” he tormented me.

“Tua amin, ada [Help me],” I begged pitifully.

“Your ada will never come and rescue you.  In fact, everyone thinks
that you are already dead.”

My jaw dropped from the shock.  How could they possibly believe that I
was dead?

The body behind me shifted close against me and I tensed exaggeratedly
when his member forced its way in.  For the second time, he tore my
bleeding hole.

I screamed in anguish, my voice bouncing against the wall and echoed
back to me.  In that moment of rage and helplessness, I had stretched
my neck back, crying to the Valar for mercy.

With no hope of freeing my wrists, I shifted my energy to take the
pain.  The man took his time in pummeling me deliberately, making sure
that I felt the length that filled me, and the fleshy desire that
throbbed inside me.  There was no love or care, only lust and greedy
needs.

Then something inside me snapped.  It was as if the chain to an anchor
broke and I drifted away unwillingly.  I gave up fighting him.  I was
too weak and terrified.  I was no longer an elven prince.  I was not
strong, for I was as fragile as I looked.  I had no more pride or
dignity.  And the saddest part of all was that I no longer had a
family.  I.  Legolas Greenleaf.  Had.  Nothing.  Left.

Aragorn, son of Arathorn, the King of Gondor, had succeeded in breaking
me.

His loud groan had woken me from my thoughts of self-pity.  He gave a
last thrust and stayed unmoving, buried deep inside me.  When his warm
seeds filled me, I felt so unclean.  After pulling away his spent
member, he wrapped his arms around me fondly.  I slumped into him,
completely drained.  Again, I felt more fluid coming out from me.

‘May be I could bleed to death?’  It was only wishful thinking.

“You are the property of the King of Gondor.  You will perform your
duties as I require.  Understand?” he stated.  I was too tired to
reply.

“Do you understand?” he repeated a little louder.

“Yes,” I answered, barely a whisper.  My head was downcast in sorrow
and my body sagged with weariness.

“Good,” he said and released my wrists.  I brought my legs together and
sat down on one side like a maiden so that I would not hurt myself
again.  With my hands on my laps, I rested my weary head against the
cold marble headboard.

I heard him pick up the manacle that was dangling over the side of the
bed.  Then he pulled me by my waist towards him and grabbed my left
leg.  I watched wearily as he placed the steel contraption around my
ankle.

When he clasped it shut with a loud snap, I jumped.  The sound echoed
horribly loud and clear, torturing every part of my being as it
announced the beginning of my life full of uncertainty and more
tortures.

As I dared not look at him, I heard him shuffle to put on his clothes
and then leave without another word.

Fatigue and pain encased my still trembling body.  I pulled my shaking
legs towards myself and buried my head in between my limbs.

I wept silently and mourned for the death of my soul.


* *  I came up with this chapter at the very last minute cause an
inspiration just hit me while I was reading a story.  I knew I had to
write this cause I’m sure you all will like it.  It’s not very dark,
but it suffices for now cause it helps in solidifying my reasoning why
Legolas surrendered so fast.  Enjoy this one, everyone.  * *



9.  Lessons To Be Learned

I had not realised that I had fallen asleep until a quick yank of my
pillow from under my head startled me awake.  Immediately, I sat up out
of reflex and only realised it was an awful mistake.

A sharp pain shot from my backside, traveling up to my head within a
blink of an eye and caused a massive headache to me.  It blinded me for
a moment before vertigo set in.  I was so nauseous that I fell back
onto the bed like an empty sack and did not attempt to move a muscle
unless I wished to empty the contents of my stomach on the bed.

Sweat broke out and I could feel myself trembling again as a result of
my furiously beating heart.  I tried to lift a shaking hand to wipe my
face and clear my foggy brain but someone had grabbed my wrists in a
steel grip and wrenched me up to a sitting position.

I was dimly aware that I let out a groan as more pain shot through my
arms from the harsh handling.  The spinning in my head became worst and
I almost slumped back again.  I was lethargic.

“Don’t you dare,” a hard voice penetrated my dazed mind.  That voice
was enough to wake me and fill me with dread.  With my hands, I used
them to prop myself upright.  “Your punishments are not over yet.”

‘More punishments?’ I thought miserably.

When I was able to focus my eyes on the figure in front of me, I saw
Aragorn standing with his arms crossed over his chest.  His hard, cold
eyes were staring at me with menace and I was unsettled by it.

“Get out of bed and stand by that post,” he ordered coldly and pointed
at the bedpost he was talking about; his eyes never leaving me.  I
complied obediently, afraid that he would add more punishments to what
he already had in mind.

Feeling like an old man, I heard my body creak, as I got up slowly and
cautiously so as not to hurt myself more than necessary.  Most
importantly, I did not want to throw up in front of him.  Then I
realised that I was still naked but I did not dare ask for anything to
wear.  Right now, Aragorn was in no mood for discussion or protest.
The moment I stood on my legs, my knees buckled, unable to hold my
weight.  Aragorn did not bother to help me when I grabbed the side of
the bed to steady myself upright again.  It showed how furious he was
at me. 

I shuffled to the post one step at a time, noting that my back was
slightly bent.  I could not walk gracefully and proudly like an elf
because the pain inside me was too great and I was also ashamed of my
weakness.  When I finally got to the post, I was quite out of breath. 
I was so very tired.

“Kneel down with your back against the post.  Then put your hands up
together above your head,” came the next instruction.  Again, I did
what I was told and gasped audibly when my bare back touched the cold,
lifeless marble.  After that, I waited with apprehension as to what he
wanted to do to me.

Aragorn approached me and started to tie my hands to the post.  I
winced when he pulled the knot really tight.

My body was shivering violently now – from cold, pain and great fear
combined.

Next he blindfolded me and also made me deaf by putting something soft
into my ears.  I was completely helpless and disorientated – unable to
move, to see and to listen.  I panicked and gulped painfully, feeling
the hard lump of fear in my throat.

“Aragorn?” I called for him, unsure why.  In the dark, I tried to stop
the vertigo by concentrating on latching to the post behind me as a
solid point.  It helped a little and I began to feel the spinning
slowed down slightly.

The first things that I felt were his hands all over me – caressing me,
sometimes roughly and sometimes tenderly.  When he touched a
particularly sore spot, I bit my lower lip from crying out.  My knees
were wobbling so much that I had to sit on my heels, only to find that
my hands were tied too securely above me to move, even a bit.  I had to
force myself to hold on.

After a while, the hands left me and came back moments later.  A hand
creeping up my thighs startled me and I felt it moving upwards.  I
gasped and panted rapidly when the same hand curled its fingers around
my member and started to stroke it.  As it went faster, I gnashed my
teeth together, unwilling to show that I was responding to his
ministration.  However, I was sure my body had betrayed me because I
became more sensitive and had unconsciously arched towards him to
elicit more pleasure from him.

I am sure Aragorn was laughing at me by now, seeing how my body
reciprocated to his ‘handling’.  Luckily, I was deaf at the moment,
otherwise I would have blushed furiously and would have receive more
taunts from him.

Very soon, I was almost on the verge of coming but he stopped moving
suddenly and took his hand away.  I almost cried out in frustration and
wriggled angrily in my helpless condition.  I waited for what would
happen next but nothing.  After some time, still, nothing happened.  I
was not sure if Aragorn was still in the room with me or if he had left
me.

Desperate and in despair, I tried to move and fight the ropes around my
hands, hoping I could loosen it.  Nothing.  It did not budge one bit. 
Finally too tired to do anything else, I sagged and tried to maneuver
to a more comfortable position. 

I must have dozed off because I jerked frantically when I felt
something brush against my buttocks.  I panicked again when I found
myself in the darkness but calmed a little when I remembered my current
state.

I whimpered and tried to edge as far away as possible when I felt a
course finger caressing my sore hole.  I could not tell if it was
Aragorn or someone else in the room with me.  The finger finally
stopped moving and started to dig into my entrance.  I cried out in
pain when it managed to penetrate my overly sensitive tissue.

Without moving or breathing, I concentrated on the movement of the
finger.  If I could see myself in the mirror, I had probably turned
blue from the lack of air as I focused with intensity on the finger
that was sliding in and out slowly, as if mocking me.  Then ‘he’ pulled
out hurriedly, causing a sharp sting.

The stuffing from ears was removed and I could hear again.

“Hungry?” he asked.  It was Aragorn.

I was puzzled by his question until I heard my stomach growl loudly.  I
could not answer him but just nodded.

“Well, today you are going to eat what I give you.”  Before I wondered
what it was, he answered my question.

Aragorn pried my mouth open and slipped something big, hard and warm
inside.  I did not know what it was at first until I smelt his scent
and he pushed into my mouth.  I started choking and gagging on it.

“You will satisfy me and then you will swallow what I give you.  That
is all you are going to eat today.  Understand?” he said sternly.

In response, I tried to pull away but a hand behind my head pushed me
forward, causing his member to poke the back of my throat.  I was my
first time and I did not know how to take so much flesh at once, so I
started to gag again.

“Start sucking me,” he demanded.  I had to comply because I could not
protest.  The hand behind my head started to move, guiding me.

Defeated, I did what he wanted.  It was better my mouth than somewhere
else.

My jaw was aching from the period of stretching and each time that my
teeth touched him, he would bat the side of my head.  Thankfully, he
came soon and I could feel his member throb before something warm and
salty filled my mouth.  I choked again and tried to pull away so I
could spit it out but Aragorn did not move his hand away until I
swallowed reflexively.

Once he was satisfied that I had taken everything, he pulled out.

Then I felt him kneeling in front of me from the rush of the wind and
he immediately grabbed my unsated member.  He started to stroke me,
moving very fast.  I was frustratingly in need to be relieved and this
added friction made me come almost at once.  I spilled myself on my
laps.  When he finally released me, I was panting from the need of air.
 I was still aware of his taste inside my mouth and it disgusted me.

I heard him laugh lightly before he removed the ropes from my hands.  I
instinctively rubbed my wrists to get back some circulation.  When the
blindfold came off, I could only see blurs.  It took me a while to be
able to see normally again.

“You have been very good and obedient.  Your punishment is over,”
Aragorn said.  There was a wide satisfied smile pasted on his face.

I wanted to get up but my knees refused to budge.  They had become so
numb that they no longer responded to me.

Aragorn must have seen this because he bent down and helped me up. 
When I did not make a move to walk back to the bed, he carried me
instead.  He tucked me into bed and pulled the covers to my neck.  When
blood was finally circulating again, I grimaced because there were
thousands of pins prickling all over my legs.

After it had subsided to a bearable level, I felt completely drained
and began to fall asleep.


10.  In Mourning Of My Soul

Throughout the night I woke several times, drenched in cold sweat, my
heart pounding hard.  Nightmares kept intruding upon my sleep.  The
echoes of his words and moaning played continuously in my mind while
his burning touches cauterized a deep mark in my memories.  Only the
dull soreness was real and it still gnawed at certain parts of my body.

The chamber was completely dark as there was no moonlight to illuminate
the room and the candles on the candelabras had long since burnt away. 
The cold desolation that filled the room was so suffocating it was like
being buried alive in the mines of Moria.

By pre-dawn (for I could see some lights through the sheer materials of
the curtains as if someone held a small lantern before it) I was still
unable to fall asleep.  I had tossed from side to side without success
of getting the much-needed rest.  Giving up, I decided to sit up
instead.  When I drew my legs towards me, the chain rattled, a forced
reminder of my unwilling position (Aragorn must have shackled me while
I was asleep).

Like a defeated soul, my back hunched and my shoulders drooped.  I had
wrapped my arms tightly around my folded legs and my forehead rested on
my knees.  I let my unbraided hair cascade around me, hiding me from
the rest of Arda.

My broken heart was flooded with melancholy and I felt it dying slowly.
 Unable to hold back my emotions, tears began to spill on to my laps. 
Occasionally a loud sob escaped from my painfully constricted throat. 
I was miserable.

The thoughts of my poor ada and everyone else lamenting over my false
death depressed me even more.  Aragorn was truly evil.  Not only had he
completely stolen my life from me, he had also victoriously snatched me
away from everyone I knew and loved so dearly.

I had become an elf without a past and hopes for the future.  However I
dared not contemplate on what happens when hope abandons its owner.

With the slow rising of Anar, my dark prison chamber was transformed
into a cheerful and brightly lit room.  Not a single trace of gloom
lingered but it failed to lift me from my despondency.

As the first ray of light struck upon me, I looked up and followed its
path towards the window.  I stared at the curtains drawn over the glass
in forlorn sorrow.  The taste of freedom clung like bitter draughts in
my mouth and my whole being felt tortured to no end, knowing that
beyond the wall of my prison lay what once was a life of innocence and
protected love.

I let out a deep ragged sigh.  Even though I had stopped crying my
tears never flagged. They continued to flow down my wet cheeks and
dripped from my chin.

An unexpected knock on the door startled me, breaking my brooding
temporarily.  Swiftly, I pulled the covers up to my neck, to cover my
nakedness.  I also did not forget to dry my face with the blanket.  I
knew my visitor would not be Aragorn because he never knocks before
entering.

The door opened and a young boy appeared, balancing a tray in front of
him.  He bowed first and then trudged towards me quickly, his eyes
continuously on the floor.  I could see that he was slightly nervous
from the barely concealed twitches on his small hands.  I wondered what
he was thinking.

After placing the tray just at the end of the bed, for he seemed afraid
to go near me, he inclined his head once and left hurriedly, almost
slamming the door on the way out.

I looked at the beautifully presented tray nonchalantly.  Nothing
appealed to me and I did not feel hungry, only a buzzing numbness
filled me.

Suddenly, a stabbing pain seized my chest and I covered it protectively
with the palm of my hand.  The intensity had made me stopped breathing
for a while.

Is that a sign that time is running out for me?

When it subsided, I felt very thirsty and drank some water.  After
placing it back on the tray, I dropped my head in the fold of my legs
and chest.  My mourning continued.

When a second knock came, I furrowed my brows.  I was not annoyed by
the interruptions but rather curious.

This time a young woman entered.  I had never the chance to meet the
women of men as it was not common to find them traveling freely like
their counterparts.  However I could easily guess she was much older
than the child from the lines of hardship on her face.

“I already had breakfast brought to me,” I told her.

She stared at me, confused.  Without hesitation and fear, she came
close to the bed and looked at the tray the young boy had left earlier.
 Her eyes softened in understanding.

“My Lord, it is now past noon.  I have brought you lunch,” she answered
politely.

Surprise caught me.  How did I lose all the time without realizing it?

“I apologise, young madam.  I did not realise it,” I spoke to her in
the manners of men as was taught to me by my tutor in Mirkwood.

Her face turned bright red instantly.  A hesitant smile crept across
her lips.

“I am sorry.  Did I say something wrong?  I am not used to your
customs,” I apologised quickly.

“You did not say anything wrong My Lord.  I am just shy,” she answered
softly.  “I shall remove the other tray.  Would you like me to get you
anything?”

“No but thank you for asking,” I flashed her a brief smile.  She
returned my smile and bowed graciously to me, then left with a
noticeable lighter skip.

Again, I did not feel hungry.  The delicious smell of hot food and soup
failed to entice my appetite.

A yawn came to me unbidden and I could not stifle it.  With nothing
else to do, I lay down on the bed and curled up under the quilt.  Soon
I drifted off into a deep slumber.  Hopefully, no nightmares will
attack me in the daylight.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

An indistinct noise caught my hearing.  I strained to listen and soon
caught a vague sound like popping and cracking.  Wading through in slow
motion, I tried to grasp the sense of it all.

Then something cold landed on one side of my face.  I absentmindedly
tried to knock it away but the touches refused to relent.

Sluggishly, I tried to crawl out of my drowsiness.  The first thing I
saw was a fuzzy image of something brightly yellow dancing in front of
me.  I blinked several times to help sharpen my focus and at the same
time to get rid of the irritation caused by dryness.  The fuzzy image
was revealed to be fire burning in the fireplace.  A servant must have
started it while I was fast asleep.

But that was not all.  Feeling a presence behind me, I tossed a glance
over my shoulder and found a grizzly face hovering above me, and a hand
hanging just over my face.  Aragorn had been sitting next to me and the
cold sensation on my face had probably been his hand caressing my
cheek.

His close proximity had made me recoil suddenly, as if a snake had
struck out at me.  Despite that, Aragorn did not react to my actions. 
Instead, he dropped his hand on the bed while his gaze swept over me
like a man appreciating a wonderful work of art before him.

“Your eyes are terribly red.  Did you not sleep well last night?” he
asked.  Those cold steel eyes never wavered from me.  The weight of his
gaze had always been most disconcerting, even from the first time we
met in Rivendell.

Instead of answering him, I shook my head weakly.

“Would you like to sleep some more?” he asked again.

I remained speechless and shook my head again in response.

“Why is your food left untouched?  And please say something.  I’m sure
I had not been that harsh with your lovely mouth yesterday that could
render you mute today.”

My face burnt hotly at his comment.

“I’m not hungry,” I replied, and noticed my voice sounded raspy and
cracked.  I sat up and started to cough several times to clear my
throat.

“Well I am hungry.  I’ve not had lunch yet.  Why don’t you join me
instead?”  It was more a demand than invitation.

I did not want to stay with him at all but I also could not stay in
this prison chamber any longer.  It was becoming claustrophobic.  Not
only that but by being outside, I could avoid his advances on me.  For
now.

“Yes,” I answered quickly before he changed his mind.

“I think it’s time you learn to call me Estel,” he mused.

I could have laughed out loud.  Estel meant ‘hope’ in elvish and this I
clearly did not see in him.  I wondered why he wanted me to call him
that?  Had he known what was going on in my mind?  I swear that that
man could read my soul sometimes.

“Yes...Estel,” I hesitated for the briefest moment.  He smiled at
hearing his name tumbled from my lips.

“Can I trust that you will behave or do I have to tie you up before
stepping out of this chamber?” he laughed.

I did not see the humor in it.

“I will behave,” I mumbled.

“Good,” he answered cheerfully and started towards me but I backed away
hurriedly.  He stopped mid-way and snorted.  “Don’t be alarmed,
Legolas.  I only wish to unlock the manacle.”  A smug smile appeared on
his face.

I scolded myself unforgivingly inside for being so jumpy.

The King obtained the key from his pocket and released my leg.  Then he
crawled past me and got off the bed.

“Come,” he said as he turned to me and proffered his left hand.

I was apprehensive and did not make a move to take it but he also did
not remove his hand.  After a few heartbeats of awkward silence, I let
out a defeated sigh and reached out to him.

His grasp was tight, though not because he was afraid that I would run
away, but in a decidedly affectionate manner.

I shuffled off the bed gingerly as I was still sore.  Seeing that I was
struggling, Estel released my hand and grabbed my upper arms to help me
up but I shied away from his contact.  The man was insistent and did
not let me go.

Standing beside him, I felt very vulnerable.  Unconsciously I placed my
hands in front of my crotch and covered it.

“Here take my coat.”  He shrugged off his luxurious light brown suede
coat lined with soft grey fur and put it on me.  The coat hung heavily
on my slender frame and gave me warmth immediately as the heat emitted
from his body still remained within the folds of sewn wool.

“Thank you, Estel,” I mumbled again.  Speech seemed to be so difficult
for me today.  “But won’t you feel cold?”  He beamed by my concerned
question, which in actual fact, his coat repulsed me because it
reminded me strongly of his own naked body wrapping around me on
several occasions.  I wanted to give it back to him immediately.

“I’m sure you won’t want to walk around naked,” his eyes lingered a bit
longer at the rounded hem that covered my thighs.  I had to admit that
he was right.  When I looked down I saw that the coat would cover me up
to my knee.  Estel was bigger built than I was, the result from a
lifetime of warrior training and men’s physical characteristics;
therefore the coat on me was oddly too loose.

I hooked the openings together quickly before Estel could begin
developing other ideas in his mind.

“Besides with you by my side, I feel warm already,” he added.  With
such a lame excuse, I wondered how he managed to charm the Undomiel to
marry him.

“I guess I will have to carry you,” he pointed to my bare feet.  I was
mortified by the idea, especially what happened after my attempted
escape.

Estel was tickled by the expression on my face.  “You know, you look so
innocent and childlike in that expression.  I like seeing that.”

‘An unfortunate reason for you to snatch that away from me.’

Estel cocked his head slightly, as if he heard me.

“I cannot let you walk around barefoot on the cold floor.  Maybe after
lunch, if you still behave, I shall take you to the tailors so that
they could make some proper clothing for you to wear.”  He was
scrutinizing me again and I averted my eyes to the floor.

I guess he was waiting for an answer.  “Thank you, Estel,” I said
softly.

His behaviour confused me a lot.  It was as if two people lived in that
body.  One instant he would fuss over me with tenderness and care and
the next instant he would shift to a cold, heartless master.

Before I noticed his movements, I suddenly found myself cradled
protectively in his arms.  I did not make any move to fight him though
I felt terribly uncomfortable because no one had carried me in such
manner except my ada and that was centuries ago.

Just as we stepped out of the doorway, two guards who had been guarding
on either side of the doorframe stood at attentions.  Looks like Estel
was not taking any chances with my next attempt in escape.

Feeling embarrassed by the position I was placed in, I bent my head
forward so that my hair would hide most of my face.

‘What have I become?  The son of King Thranduil was now a weakling and
used in manners meant for a female.  I am a humiliation to my own
kind.’

While walking along the passage, we did not speak.  I did not even look
up to where we were going except to stare incessantly at my hands that
were clasped in front of me.  Nevertheless, I was well aware of the
amount of stares and incredulity aimed at us.  I did not have to look
at their faces to know what they were thinking.  It was not everyday
one sees their king carrying someone while wearing his coat other than
the Queen.

I could not understand why Estel was putting us in such an awkward
position without any thoughts of the consequences.  Did he really think
he could get away with this?  Arwen would not be thrilled to hear of
the scandal in the House of Telcontar.  I was sure Estel was hiding
everything from her but if she found out, may be she would have pity of
the predicament on one of her kins and would help me to get away from
here?

When we finally reached the Dining Hall, Estel set me down gently on a
chair next to him.  It was only then did I dare to look up.  The
servants started attending to us without delay but I did not take any
of the food offered to me because I had no intention of eating.  Estel
noticed it.  He ordered a bowl of hot soup and insisted that I finish
it.

Obediently, I drank the onion soup in silence.  He watched me for a
while before attacking his food with gusto.

After I had finished it, the servant cleared the bowl away.  Before I
could decline more food offered to me, Estel had already piled pieces
of cut fruit on clean china.

“Finish that or you will not leave this table, ‘even’ if it takes all
night,” he commanded.  I glared at him for treating me so childishly. 
“I mean it, Legolas,” he added, in a stern tone.

I turned to look at the chunks of colourful fruits in front of me.  One
would think that the King had tried to torture his prisoner in the most
unmerciful methods and at that moment, it felt like that.

Not wishing to provoke any more troubles, I tried my best to eat as
much as my stomach would take.

“Ai!  I feel so invigorated after such a good meal, don’t you think so
Legolas?” Estel exclaimed happily while patting his stomach.

“Yes, Estel,” I answered.  At that time, I felt like throwing up if I
were to put any more food in my mouth.

“You have not finished yours yet,” he noted the half eaten food on my
plate.

“Please, Estel.  I cannot eat anymore.”  I looked at him pleadingly.

“All right,” he consented at last.  “Lets get you to the tailors then.”
 He stood up and stooped to carry me again.  This time I wrapped an arm
around his neck.

“I must make sure you eat.  You look so thin and feels so light.”

“Elves eat very little,” I commented.

“That is not an excuse not to eat at all,” he retorted.

We spent the next few hours at the tailor’s before he brought me back
to my prison chamber.



12.  Where To Run, Where To Hide?

A distant throbbing pulled me out of my dreams.  It sounded like drums
beating and yet it was oddly familiar.  There were two beats going
simultaneously and repetitious – tha-thum, tha-thum.  The strange music
continued to play and I thought it sounded soothing.  I looked around
me, searching for the direction of the thumping.  Unfortunately, I was
not able to because it seemed like the sound came from all around me.

In my probing, I had caught sight of a brief twinkle not far away from
where I stood.  It looked like a tiny star, pulsing, beckoning me
towards it.  Boldly, I walked the path leading to it but as I edged
closer, I was conscious of pain building inside me.  

The star that I had been following, had grown from a tiny pinprick to a
small dimly lit hole that slowly became larger, even enough for me to
walk through.  As I neared the lip of the tunnel, more pain wracked my
body.

Was this what death felt like?  Was I carrying the scars and wounds of
my former life?  Would this pain follow me for eternity, to remind me
of how I got here?  What about those drumbeats?  Was that the way they
guided the new inhabitant into Mandos’ Halls?  So many questions and
yet I could not find the answers.

Opening my eyes, I had expected to be in the Halls of Waiting and
Mandos himself would meet and lead me to the cavernous circular hall
where all the elves that had crossed over, dwelled.  I had hoped to
find my grandfather waiting for me with open arms.  I did not know much
about the great Oropher but I would have an eternity to learn about him
and maybe he would tell me the tales of elven folklore that I loved so
much.

However, I was terribly devastated when I recognised the familiar
ceiling above me.  The Valar had not shown any mercy to me.  May be
they had forgotten about me – an insignificant, humiliatingly weak elf.

Unconsciously, I had let out a moan when a particularly painful
throbbing overwhelmed me.  Since waking up, I had not dared to move a
muscle for fear of hurting myself even more.  However, it still hurt a
lot.  My body felt hot as if I was running a fever but I could not
check because I was too weak even to lift my hands.  My throat felt
like it was on fire whenever I swallowed and my vision was spinning,
rendering me lightheaded and nauseous.

It took a lot of effort to ride the pain and exhaustion that was all
too quickly consuming me entirely.  I closed my eyes and tried to
convince my mind that the pain was not real; that I was just imagining
it.  However, I ended up drifting away like a leaf floating on the
water into a dim world.

A dream began to take shape around me.  Colours and fuzzy images
surrounded me.  A smile tugged at the corner of my lips when I realised
that the drumbeats were really my own heart beating.  My smile soon
faded as truth dawned on me – that my heart was not pumping for joy or
sadness, just simply because I was still alive.

For the first time in my life, I cursed the gift of immortality given
to me from birth.  Had I known it would cause so much grief, I would
have chosen otherwise.

“Merciful Nienna,” I prayed.  “Please take me to meet Mandos.  There is
nothing left in Arda for me and I have no one to turn to but you.  I am
sure you have seen my sufferings.  Please take pity on me.  Please
grant this wretched, nameless one a final wish.  I am begging you, with
whatever is left of my broken heart.”  A pang of pain hit my chest and
tears began rolling silently from the corners of my swollen eyes but
for some strange reasons, I could not wipe them away.  It was so
pathetic that I was incapable to comfort myself even in the slightest
manner.

‘If none of the Valar will answer my prayer, I shall take my own life
with my own hands.  I am determined to escape from this evil place,’ I
thought angrily.

Time stood still while in the realm of dreams.  I did not know how long
I had been lying there, suspended between reality and dreamscape but
with each passing moment, I fell deeper into the abyss of depression. 
The shadows seemed to close in on me, threatening to keep me in its
grip and hold me for eternity.

In my semi-conscious state, I was faintly aware of people moving around
me and touching me.  However, my body was tired and my spirit so
weakened that I did not have the energy to move or repel them.  I hoped
I would fade away quickly.

With every rising of Anar, I waited patiently for Mandos to appear but
by nightfall, I still had not met him.  My dejected mood soon turned to
anger.  Now, I curse the Valar too, for abandoning one of their own.

Frustration had become a close friend to me because I was pelted
continuously with different emotions.  I was like the last leaf in
winter, hanging onto the end of a branch with all my might, being swept
here and there by erratic wind directions of sadness, anger, lost of
hope, abandonment, loneliness and just about anything that my moods
seemed to send me to.  I had no more control over my emotions and my
reactions to it.

With sheer determination, something that I did not lack yet; I had
completely shunned the world around me and withdrawn into a small, dark
corner that was not tainted by anyone.  How long I could hold that
little fortress, I was not sure, but I was glad that I had this hole to
hide in.

I sat down cross-legged at the spot where I had been standing.  The
darkness around me was not frightening.  Instead, I liked it because it
cuddled me warmly, giving me a sense of safety.  It felt very much like
being in a nana’s womb.  But how could that be?  Had I really died and
now await to be born into a new world, to start all over again and find
true love, this time?  Was I really given a second chance?  Ai, the
confusion I had put myself into.

Thinking made my head hurt.  I must not think anymore, otherwise the
little insufferable monsters called emotions would crawl over me again.
 I should do something else to distract myself.

In the gentlest manner, I cradled my slow beating heart in my arms and
rocked back and forth, caressing it tenderly.  It felt warm against my
chest but I could see the inner lights fading slowly.  When a song that
I had long forgotten entered my mind, I sang softly to it but soon lost
the words and began to hum instead.

FLASHBACK

“Legolas, get down from there!” shouted a worried voice.

I looked down from the tree I was climbing.  “Come up here, Firith. 
The wind will blow your hair wild, just like when you ride on a horse,”
I called back with a wide smile.

“Get down now before ada sees you,” my older brother shouted again,
this time more frantically.

“Legolas, listen to your brother,” a stern voice called out.

‘Ai, it’s ada.’  I started to climb down but suddenly I lost a grip and
fell backwards.

“Legolas!”  Two anxious voices shouted at once.  I gulped a lungful of
air and prepared to receive the pain that would be inevitable when my
little body crashed to the forest floor but strangely, it never came.

After my heart had slowed down and I was able to see again, I found
myself in my ada’s arms.  Luckily, he had caught me before I smacked to
the ground.  I smiled weakly.  Even though his face showed anger, his
eyes said otherwise.  I knew he loved me and cared very much about me. 
He would never let me down.

I felt safe in his arms as he carried me back to the palace.  No doubt,
I would get punished later for my pranks but I did not mind.  Ada was
being protective and I needed to be reminded not to be foolish again.

END OF FLASHBACK

I would give anything right now to be with ada and my brothers again. 
I missed my family very much and it hurt me a lot to know that they
were suffering over my loss.  The death of my nana had been a terrible
blow to everyone, and now my fake death had added more pain and grief
to them.

I wondered how everyone else fared?  Were they safe?  I remembered that
night when we set up camp after passing over Misty Mountains; I heard a
sharp cry that woke me up.  It sounded as if someone was in pain or
surprised.  I hoped no one was hurt.  I would never forgive Estel if he
hurt any one of them.

It was so lonely and cold in this palace.  There were no love or
tenderness spared to me.  I had only my heart to care for and it was
the only thing that had kept me alive.  My only means of comfort came
from reliving the happier moments of my past that unfortunately, no
longer belonged to me.

Ai, how it hurt that I would never know true love and that I should die
without a shred of that feeling in my heart.  I should never know what
it meant to love someone more than my own life.  I should never feel
how my stomach would flutter and went queasy when I see my love.  I
should never taste the sweet joy in my heart and the furious pounding
of anticipation.  I would never find out the tingling sensation on my
fingers when I touched the other’s bare skin.

Such was the unfortunate fate of my life.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

“Legolas,” called out a familiar voice.  My head snapped up to the
direction it came from.

I gasped in shock.  I could feel my pulse racing and a cold terror ran
down my spine.  My hands trembled so much that I dropped my heart to
the floor with a soft, squishy sound.  Quickly, I picked it up and hid
it protectively behind me.

“Come with me,” he demanded curtly, one hand extended and waiting for
me to take it.

“How….how did you get here?”  My voice was a little shaky.

“It doesn’t matter.  Now come with me,” he said again.

I could not believe it.  How did Estel managed to breach into my one
and only sanctuary?  How did he get into my mind?  By magic?  Or may be
I just imagined this?  May be it was not real.

“Legolas, now!” he snapped.  No, it was real.

Estel glared at me.  I shook my head as more fear gripped me.  I
started to back away from him.

Severely impatient, he dashed over to me, grabbed my right wrist and
dragged me along with him.  I resisted stubbornly and tried to pull
away but he was stronger.

“No!”  I shrieked as I edged nearer to the light.  “Leave me alone!”  I
pulled and hit his hand repeatedly.  Then I realised that I must have
dropped my heart somewhere because I could not find it anymore. 
Looking around frantically, I could not see it anywhere.

Estel was still pulling me along with him but I did not give up. 
However, with one sudden, sharp tug, I stumbled back into my prison
chamber, unwillingly.

“No!”  I yelled, my voice sounded husky and broken.  I thrashed my
hands and legs hysterically to escape his clutches.

“Legolas!  Stop it!”  He yelled back and with steel grips on my
forearms, he shook me as if I was a lifeless doll.  My head jerked back
and forth, tossing my hair wildly.  I became dizzy.

I stopped fighting and looked at him fearfully through a curtain of
disheveled locks on my face.  My breaths were short and erratic while
my heart felt like it was about to burst out from its cage.  Ah, my
heart has returned to me.  I thought I had lost it.

“Don’t, Legolas!  Don’t fight me,” he bellowed.  I grimaced because his
voice had cut sharply into my sensitive hearing.

“Please….let me go,” I started to sob.  “Please let me die in peace,”
my voice became high pitch, like a kitten.

“No, Legolas.  I’m not going to let you die,” Estel said, his tone less
angry.  “You hear me?”  He shook me again but with less force this
time.  “I.  Will.  Never.  Let.  You.  Go,” he stressed every word with
fiery determination.

At that point, I broke down and cried blatantly.  Estel quickly pulled
me up into a sitting position and wrapped his arms around me, holding
me tightly as if afraid that I would fade away right in front of his
eyes.  I did not struggle in his hug but just melted into him.

“I love you, Legolas.  You are my life and soul,” he confessed, a
little emotionally.

“Then….why…..do you…..hurt…..me?”  I tried to speak between huffs.

“I cannot loose you.  Cannot.…..You’re mine.  No one can take you away
from me, not even Mandos,” he mumbled as if to himself.

So, I was still a piece of property to him.

Estel may have professed great devotion to me but he continued to rule
over me with possessive domination, expecting no resistance.  What he
only achieved was resentment from me and at the same time, being
utterly terrified of him.

A gentle kiss on my forehead woke me from my reverie.  It would have
felt good but being aware that the lips that had just touched my skin
were from someone I hated – the effect was different.  A memory flashed
by; a time when one of my brothers would do the same to reassure me and
it succeeded in taking my fears away.  This time though, that identical
peck bestowed by ‘my master’ did not help at all.

The first kiss was soon followed by more light kisses, traveling down
the length of my nose and finally stopped on my lips.  More butterfly
kisses brushed against my cheeks and neck before returning to my mouth.
 They were gentle as summer breeze accompanied by licks that wet my dry
lips.  I sniffed quietly and did not push him away.  I could not
because he was still holding me in a vice grip; and did not because I
was too tired to fight him.  I was just too drained to think and debate
within myself.

I had learned quickly that men would never change.  This time was no
different when what were tender affections then became more demanding. 
Estel was insistent on penetrating my mouth.  His tongue roamed along
the rows of my teeth, sometimes pushing and probing to seek a way in.

In the end, Estel managed to thrust his tongue inside.  I was only half
hearted in attempts of stopping him, anyway.  There was no use in
hindering him because he would get what he wanted and nothing could
refrain him from that determination.  A long passionate moan rumbled in
his throat while I emitted a keen whimper.  The movement of his tongue
was aggressive, assaulting me hungrily.  Even when I tried to move my
head back, he followed me without missing a beat.  I knew where this
kiss would lead.

“You always taste so good, melamin [my love],” he spoke finally after
letting me go to catch a breath.  “Amin meina lle [I want you],” he
whispered and slid slowly down while planting wet kisses along my neck
and collarbones.  While doing this, he was slowly pushing me back to
lie down again.

I was unnerved to feel the quivering soft flesh of his lips endowing so
much unwanted attention on my torso but surprised at the same time, to
find myself ‘conveniently’ naked.  When had he taken off my undershirt?

Estel’s careless assumptions of my readily submission offended me but
when he ran his wet tongue around my belly and added with his facial
hair lightly scratching on them, I trembled.  I hate to admit it, but
what he was doing felt good.  He made me forget my resolve to get away
from him.

More feathery kisses were smothered all over my body.  It was my
downfall.  I crumbled completely and surrendered.  I had been left for
too long in the cold and loneliness.  I craved love and care.  Right
now, it was wonderful to be alive again, even though I had to receive
affections from the one man I hated with all my heart.

What about humiliation to being so weak?  To give up so easily?  To
accept his burning touches so eagerly?  I did not wish to dwell in this
at the moment.  It was too distant to bother me.

What could I do?  I am a child of nature and full of feelings.  Our
senses and emotions were always sharper and deeper than human.  It
could be overpowering sometimes, hence our extra sensitivity.  We
needed them as one needed air to breathe.

I may have been naïve about physical intimacy but the way my body was
responding to this new sensation had prompted me that I was learning a
new lesson in maturity – lust.  I had experienced this before (when I
first got here) but this time was different because my mind and body
accepted it instead of being forced to feel it.

Estel had always been harsh on me and I was apprehensive of him but
this time, he was really gentle to me.  He did not hurt me or say cruel
words of lust to torment my mind.  I closed my eyes and slowly released
my senses; to let them absorb every impression going in my body.  I
became keenly aware of Estel’s warm breaths on me and his silky hair
tickling as they swept all over me.

“Let me love you, Legolas,” he murmured between kisses.  “I’ve missed
you so much.  You’ve been away for so long.”

‘How long have I been away?’ I asked myself.

He slid up and put full weight on top of me.  Then he kissed me again,
deeply and passionately, chasing my tongue.  I did not respond to him,
either because I could not bring myself to do it or I just could not
decide if I should.

While distracting me, I felt a hand grasping my erection.  Immediately,
it sent a shockwave of pure ecstasy up my body and hit my mind like a
crashing wave.  When he stroked it up and down, I arched my back,
shamelessly offering myself and wanting more.

However, a conflict within me was battling for supremacy.  One side of
me wanted my lust sated while the other was screaming at me to stop
being foolish and get away from all this.

For one brief moment, I was about to push Estel away until he stroked
faster.  He had probably sensed my hesitation.  I was barely able to
contain the sigh and moans of amorous desire.  Distantly, I was aware
that I had rubbed my legs against his, like a cat seeking affections. 
I was also writhing wantonly, unable to contain myself any longer.  I
was the receiver and he was the giver – both of us eager to sate
ourselves.

All the while, I dared not open my eyes.  I did not want to acknowledge
reality.  I just wanted to live in this one simple and beautiful
moment, free from my prison.  I could not afford to shatter this dream
and ‘see’ the dark depression again.  Mostly, I did not want to see his
face, especially his eyes that were surely filled with predatory
hunger.

So absorbed I was in my own little world of pleasure, that I did not
realised Estel was no longer kissing me.  When I felt a hot mouth
licking and nipping on one of my nipples, it sent more blatant need to
the region between my thighs.  I was so aroused and hard.

“Ai, Legolas.  I knew you wanted me.  Give me yourself and I will love
you as you so deserve.”  He was panting heavily.

I was incoherent by now and did not answer him.  My fingers were
gripping the sheets, wringing it.  As if reading my mind, he gripped my
weeping member hard and moved his hand faster.  My senses dimmed
drastically while my climax was building, drowning everything else and
making me concentrate only on this one tidal wave that was about to
wash over me.

A very strong burst of energy erupted inside my body and struck my
brain like lighting.  I let go of myself and allowed it to drown me. 
For a tiny fraction of a moment in time – while everything stood still
as if frozen – I felt pure love coursing through me.  Strange, yet I
felt it.  Unable to keep to myself, I let out a loud moan, rewarding
myself a brief relief from all the guilt, shame and painful reality,
wash away from me.

“Ai, Legolas.  You are absolutely beyond beauty.  You really take my
breath away,” I heard Estel purr faintly in the background.

When my mind and body descended fully back to Middle-Earth, I opened my
eyes to find him staring at me with half-closed eyes.  The colour of
his eyes was darker because the pupils were dominating most of his
irises.  I blushed furiously.  I had just surrendered to my first lust.
 Again, I was drove speechless, unable to form any retort to throw at
him.

“Now, mela en’ coiamin [love of my life], I will show you an even more
fulfilling pleasure,” Estel whispered huskily.

He sat up and quickly divested all his clothes, while still straddling
me.  Before I anticipated his next move, he turned me to lie on my side
and immediately snuggled up against my back.

Knowing that I would run away from him, he hooked his left arm around
my waist, securing me tightly against him while his other hand snaked
to between the crack of my buttocks.  Something sticky was rubbed on
the entrance to my body.  I knew he did not use the oil from the bottle
that he kept on the side table.

‘By the Valar, he is using my own semen to prepare me!’  I realised too
late and to my disgust.  I struggled to peel his hand away from my
waist and that was when a finger entered me.

I gasped in shock from the pain inflicted on me.  Instinctively, I
clamped my muscles tightly but it caused more pain when he slid in and
out of my unyielding hole.  When the second finger had joined the
first, I stopped moving and held my breath.  I bit my lower lip as my
eyes concentrated on something that was of no importance.

Suddenly, something jolted me.  It came again and again.  I sucked in
huge amount of air and after a while began to pant as if I had ran from
Mirkwood to Rivendell without stopping.  Unconsciously, I had wiggled
my buttocks to nestle closer into the body behind me.  I had allowed
his fingers to penetrate deeper into my cavity.

It went on for a while, rendering me helpless in his expert
ministration.  When he pulled his fingers out, I felt abandoned and
disappointed but a hard member had quickly replaced them.  The hot
flesh poked threateningly at my entrance.

Just as Estel was about to impale me, I tensed and held my muscles
taut.  I tried to prepare myself mentally and physically as fast as I
could for what was inevitable but the shock from the pain when he
slipped past the outer ring of muscles still shook me.

I let out a keen wail, gnashing my teeth until my jaw ached.  I stared
at my white knuckles without interest and felt sweat seeping from my
pores.  I was acutely aware of his huge tool sliding smoothly but
slowly along my narrow passage, only coming to a stop when he had
completely sheathed himself inside me.  I knew this because I could
feel his hairy sacs crushed against my buttocks.

“Ai, Legolas,” he moaned as he buried his face against the back of my
head and tightening his hold on my waist, almost crushing me.  “Sweet
Valar, how I worship your body,” he added.  His deep, heaving pants
were blowing hotly on my neck.

Thankfully, Estel did not move immediately.  I guess he wanted me to
adjust to his invasion because he could hurt me terribly. 
Nevertheless, when he did start to pummel me, it still hurt a lot.  My
whimpers had turned to cries of pain.

Then that same feeling came back again.  I had thought that his fingers
were still inside me but the wet and warm body, moving behind me
indicated otherwise.  Now, I heard myself groaning instead.

“Deeper,” I whispered softly.  I hoped he had not heard me but I could
not stop my physical needs.  I tried to edge closer to him as subtly
and innocently as possible without arousing his suspicion. 

My acceptance to this union had urged him to move faster and it did not
take long before I reached that point of no return.  My body became
rigid instantly.  I furrowed my brows deeply and exhaled sharply
through flared nostrils until I emptied my lungs before starting to
pant desperately for air.  My head was spinning and my face flushed
hotly.  My whole being trembled violently.

Never had I experienced such a powerful sensation and it had left me
totally spent.  Estel was right; this one was greatly fulfilling and I
had enjoyed it ‘deeply’.

Only moments after I came, Estel made a few deep and hard thrusts,
followed by a loud moan.  I felt his member pulsing inside me
immediately.  After he withdrew, the excess semen began to drip onto my
lower thigh.

Estel turned me around to face him and adjusted himself so that I would
be comfortably snuggled in his warm embrace.  As my head lay on his
right arm, he slipped the left around my back; and a leg between mine. 
Even though I was comfortable in the crook of his body, I was also
trapped in his embrace.

“That was the most beautiful experience I ever had.  I am sure you will
agree,” Estel said and kissed my forehead.

I wanted to say something but my mind was blank.  I was just too
exhausted to think.

“I love you, Legolas.  Forever,” he whispered.

Estel pulled me closer against him and began to rub my back tenderly. 
Soon, I drifted into a deep slumber, dreaming of falling asleep in
ada’s embrace, as I had so often done when I was an elfling.



13.  An Heir For Gondor.

(Tick – tick – tick – patter – patter)  The sound of a slight drizzle
as it hit the glass window.  I liked to listen to it, and it had been
like that on some mornings.  A noticeable scent of fresh rain and
washed forest drifted into the chamber, replacing the old air from last
year.  I took in a lungful of breath and held it, rejoicing the gift of
nature.

Spring had arrived and it was made more apparent from the increased
activities and noises that floated through my opened windows. 
Sometimes I heard horses neighing and occasionally men shouting orders.
 The bird’s singing had heightened and even the breeze felt different.

Elves were sensitive to these things.  The changes in the air, the
smell, and the energy – all revolves around us and we lived in that
nature in harmony.  Not only that, we contributed to the living force
in return, taking care of it with our emotions and bonding with our
trust.

This change in season signified that I had spent the entire winter in
Gondor.  How time had slipped by within a blink of an eye but it was an
eternity for me – an immortal.  So much had happened since then and I
regret that I had been dragged deeper into a life I was unwilling to
live.

My ‘retreating’ depression since being forced to take the potion had
lasted just over a month.  I was surprised that I had been able to shun
the reality for so long.  Had I continued to do so, I would probably
have died sooner or later from starvation.

While taking baths, I had noticed how considerably skinny I was.  It
was almost heart wrenching even for me to see the results of my
dangerous acts that I inflicted upon myself.  Ada would be most
displeased should he see me now.  I hoped he would forgive me for
disappointing him, to have such a weak son.  I know my brothers would
make him proud and I had resigned to my fate that he forgot about me.

I let out a quiet sigh and looked at my barely visible muscled abdomen.
 The lack of exercise had made me soft.  I had spent too much time
sleeping off my exhaustion and in healing.  I doubted very much if the
potion would ever work but I hoped ferverently never to repeat that
experience again.  Estel was not a quitter and I am sure worse things
will happen to me should I fail to conceive this time.

It was only a week ago that Estel had pulled me out of my retreat and
for the first time, ‘made love’ to me instead of raping me.

Listen to me.  How could I call it making love where Estel was
concerned?  Had I really wanted it or was I forcing myself to accept
his affections?

Two days ago, I had allowed him to touch me and pleasure me again.  I
could still remember it vividly, where his hands roamed over my body,
where his fingers would elicit moans from me, and the weight of his
body on top of me.  I had shamelessly given into his heart’s desire –
to love me.  After that, I had snuggled into the crook of his body
while my head rested on his outstretched arm.  Estel happily curled his
other arm around my chest pulling me closer to his warm body.

Every day that I woke up, I brooded on this.  Guilt and shame tarnished
my mind constantly.  I did not feel angry with myself, only hate.  Why
did I have to be so vulnerable?  Has loneliness really driven me to
this?  Was I so desperate that I was willing to receive the affections
even from a monster that was my husband?

Husband – I had to laugh at myself for even thinking of him as such. 
Everyone in Rivendell would surely kill me for ‘stealing’ their ‘Estel’
from Arwen.  There was nothing I could do right now.  I think it was
better that everyone thought I was dead because then I would not have
to face the banishment from the elven community for my immoral conduct.

Estel had popped in this morning with a stack of clothing and a pair of
soft-leathered boots in his arms.  When he told me that we were going
riding, I was ecstatic that I finally had a chance to get out of this
suffocating chamber.  I smiled a little when accepting the bundle from
him.  I never knew how to lie and was never successful in hiding my
expressions entirely.  I could see right now, that my reactions cheered
him to no end and he immediately sat at the end of the bed to watch me
put them on.

Knowing full well that Estel would never avert his eyes from me, I
turned around instead so he could only see my back.  As I took off my
undershirt, I could feel his eyes ‘caressing’ my buttocks.  I had to
steel my nerves for that mental molestation.

Swiftly, I put on my riding clothes and after I had pulled on the last
knee-high boots, I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom.  I
almost choked in sobs as I saw myself clothed in colours of Mirkwood –
brown leggings, silver undershirt and green tunic.  The fashion was
different from elves’ but the colour combination was unmistakable.

“You look beautiful, Legolas,” I heard Estel proclaimed as he crossed
the distance to me and put both arms around me.

We looked into the mirror again, together this time and what I saw was
sad.  Standing in the arms of the man was a strange young elf, paler
than usual, thin, gaunt face and a hint of dark circle under the eyes. 
Even his posture was slightly sagged as if tired.

I was about to raise my hands to tie the braids of my royalty bearing
that I had always done without thoughts each morning but stopped
myself.  I realised that I had not braided my hair since I had been in
Gondor and the fact now that I no longer had a past; it was unnecessary
to continue the little tradition.

“Let me comb your hair,” Estel said and reached for a brush on the
dresser and started to comb my hair with care.  Then he turned me
around, lifted my chin with a finger and kissed me.

Estel was taller and had to bend his head but if he were my true lover,
I would have happily stood on my toes and hooked both arms around his
neck just to kiss him.  Instead, I stood rooted to the floor and parted
my lips and teeth to allow him to delve into my mouth.

Just when I thought he would never let go of me, he pulled away,
smiling in satisfaction.

“I have something else for you,” he said and began to unclasp a brooch
on his right chest.  I saw that it was a round brooch with black
surface and a single white tree inlaid with precious stones, in the
middle.  It was the symbol of Gondor worn only by the King.

Estel quickly took the cloak that was draped over the back of a chair
and put it around me before hooking it together with the brooch.  I
wanted to tear the brooch away; for I have no loyalty for Gondor –
after what he had done to me.  But just as I lifted my hand, he took
it.  “Let’s go,” he said.

We walked hand in hand down the many long passages, often passing by
people who stared openly at us.  Estel walked proudly, occasionally
acknowledging a few of them.  I wondered how was he going to explain to
the Queen.

When we were about to reached a huge double mahogany door, the guards
standing on each side opened them and then stood at attention for their
king.  We were immediately bombarded with warm sunlight.  However, it
was not hot enough as the cold still clung in the air, causing our
breaths to come out in wisps of mists.

Estel pulled me to the stable where the stable master was already
waiting for us beside a huge, black stallion.  Aside from the bridle,
the horse was not tack with a saddle.  Only a thick blanket was thrown
across its back.  We were to ride it in elven manner.

I looked around to find the other horse that was meant for me but found
none.

“You will ride with me,” Estel said as if in answer to my question.  “I
like having you close to me,” he added with a charming smile.

I felt my heart dropped in disappointment because I was hoping to enjoy
this brief freedom of riding on my own and possibly, if the opportunity
arose; escape from here.

I climbed onto the horse first with unnecessary help from Estel.  Then
he got on and adjusted himself.  “Comfortable?”  His voice reverberated
against my back.

A nod from me was the only response.

“Good.”  He slipped both arms around me and held the reins.  He clicked
his tongue and we took off in a hard gallop.  Immediately, the chilly
air stung my face causing little prickles on my cheeks.

As we passed the gate belonging to the stable, I heard thundering
noises coming from behind us.  I looked around and found six palace
guards riding in semi-circle formation behind us.  Even the king has
limited freedom to privacy or may be he had them with him so that I
would not try to escape.

We rode through a sparsely wooded forest where the sunlight streamed
though the trees, creating long shafts of light.  The ground was still
littered with brown and rotting leaves though there were patches of
green shooting through.  Occasionally, I saw a ring of toadstool
mushrooms and remembered a tale ada used to tell me when I was an
elfling, about small people who tended to them.

I took in the sight of my surrounding and saw buds were forming and
some trees were already filled with tiny new leaves.  It was wonderful
to witness the nature blooming again.  The air that filled my lungs was
crisp and fresh with an added hint of pines and other wooded scent.  I
love spring air for it signifies the birth of new life; but not mine.

The horses were now ambling and Estel placed his hands on my lap,
occasionally rubbing up and down, adding warmth to my legs.  He had
probably done it absentmindedly out of habit performed countless of
times for Arwen because I noticed that the actions were not deliberate.

Suddenly, my hearing picked up another rider coming towards us,
galloping fast.  I looked to the direction of the incoming rider but
did not see him yet.  Estel sensed my fixed attention and shifted the
horse to where I was looking at.  The other guards did likewise and
began to surround us.

The rider appeared moments later and he looked to be a very young man,
probably a page.

“Sire!” shouted the youth even before he got near to us.  The palace
guards kept their hands on their swords, attention undivided.  “Sire,
Lord Boromir is requesting for your urgent attendance at the palace. 
Something has come up.”  The page’s nervousness was evident in his
manner and tone.  He made a quick glance at me before returning his
attention to his King.

“Did he say why?”

“No, Sire.  He only wanted me to relay the message that it is of
extreme importance.”

“All right.  I’m sorry Legolas.  We will have to do this another day,”
Estel apologised and started to urge the horse to ride towards the
palace with all haste.

It was nearly noon by the time we entered the palace.  The journey had
been quiet and a little tensed.  I sensed that the King of Gondor
already knew what the trouble was.  Two guards were dispatched to
escort me back to my prison while he headed almost running in the
opposite direction.

It was a pity I could not stay longer outside.  It was such a lovely
day and I would had loved to sprint bare feet for a while through the
forest.

With heavy reluctance, I began to take off my cloak and tunic.  I took
a look at the brooch that Estel had given me, running a thumb over it
before placing it on the seat of the chair, along with the discarded
clothes draped over the back.

I was about to walk to the window when I heard a soft knock on the
door.  I turned to see who should be entering.  A servant boy walked
in, carrying a tray of lunch into the chamber.

He was just halfway across the room when the smell of food reached my
nostrils first.  Somehow, the food smelt disgusting and did not agree
with my stomach.  Could human food be that bad?  I ran to the closest
thing I could think of – the sink - and retched miserably until there
was nothing left inside me but I continued to dry heave.

“Take the food away, now!”  I exclaimed hoarsely.  He quickly obeyed
and left the tray with the guard outside.

The young man returned to my side and started rubbing my back
comfortingly.  The warm palm was soothing enough but my stomach was
cramping miserably and my tongue felt like it had spasm, if that was
possible.

After one final heave, I sank to floor like a newborn foal, feeling
weak and wretched.  Tears had streamed down my cheeks and I sniffed a
few times because my nose was blocked.  The servant boy wetted a towel
and gently started to wipe my face clean.  Then he gave me a glass of
water to gargle my mouth.

I gave him a weak smile in gratitude and he returned them, though a bit
apprehensive.

Feeling much better afterwards, he helped me to the bed.  He took off
my boots before tucking me in, and made sure that I was warm and
comfortable under the blanket.

“Can I get you anything else, My Lord?” he asked.  As I did not have
the energy to speak, I shook my head once.  “Very well, My Lord.  I
shall be back very shortly.  Please rest.”

I closed my eyes, feeling my whole body drained completely.  As I lay
there quietly, listening to the silence and breathing in the fresh
scent of newly changed sheets and clean blanket, I found myself
becoming drowsy.

Just when I was about to doze off and enter the dream world, I heard a
commotion that dragged me unenthusiastically back to full
consciousness.  When I peered over the thick blanket, I saw Estel
entered followed by two aged men and the servant boy.  He must have
informed his King about what happened.  However he stayed for a very
short time as he only came in to clean up the mess I had made on the
sink, and then left quietly.

I did not feel like seeing Estel right now so I pulled the blanket over
my head.  One of my hands brushed my forehead and realised that I was
sweating.  This was a bad sign.

Abruptly, my covers were pulled away.  Estel gazed at me, a worried
frown etched on his face.

“Go away!” I whined, annoyed by his rude intrusion.

“You look very sick Legolas.  You’re terribly pale,” the King answered
patiently.

“Elves are always pale if you haven’t noticed.  Then again, may be I’m
dying!  So what do you care?” I shouted at him hoarsely and then pulled
the cover over my head again.  A sharp pain stabbed my heart when I
heard myself saying that.

“Well then I have to make sure you’re not going to die,” he scowled. 
“The healers are here to see you.  So be nice.”  His voice was laced
with anger now, even though he was still concerned over me.

“No!  Go away, all of you!” I burst out childishly, finding it odd that
my voice ‘surrounded’ me while under the blanket.

Estel whipped the blanket away from my body in one hard yank.  It was
clear that he had lost his patience and would have no compunction over
his next actions.  I glared at him.  Tempers suddenly rising, I wanted
to choke him with my bare hands.  Unfortunately for me I was too weak
to do anything as drastic as that.

The two healers – one tall, balding and skinny like a vulture while the
other short with a round smiley face and a red nose, stood next to the
bed and started examining me at various places.  I swatted their hands
away and tried to wriggle out of their reach.

“Hey, how dare you take my clothes off?” I yelled.  They stopped what
they were doing and looked at the King for approval.  Estel nodded
‘his’ consent to allow them to continue.  However, it was not ‘my’
consent.  “Stop touching me!  No!” I shouted some more.

Seeing that I would not cooperate, Estel grabbed my wrists and pinned
them above my head.  He stood his ground; holding my wrists while the
healers looked me over.  Not wanting to give in easily, I struggled
briefly but soon became too tired to protest anymore.

“Get your hands off my belly!” I cried indignantly as one of them
pressed his fingers at various spots.

“Shut up, Legolas!” barked Estel, tired of my complaints.

I was about to protest that, but from a sidelong glance at them, I saw
one of the healers beamed like a man who had just received a lot of
gold from the king.  The other soon followed suit.  They turned in
unison to look at their King expectantly.

Estel was too busy glaring at me to notice this.

“Congratulations, Your Majesty.  Your consort is with child,” announced
the taller one.  The shorter bobbed his head excitedly.

Hearing that, Estel released my wrists immediately and whooped with
joy.  He hugged each of the healers tightly whirling them round and
round like toys.

At first I watched them nonchalantly.  I could not fathom what these
people were so happy about?

“Congratulations, Your Majesty.  Your consort is with child.”

“Congratulations, Your Majesty.  Your consort is with child.”

“Congratulations, Your Majesty.  Your consort is with child.”

That same voice seemed to echo again and again in my mind.

Slowly like treading through very thick mud, the new revelation began
to sink into my brain.  The whole chamber suddenly turned dim and cold
- so very cold that I shivered.

Suddenly I heard a horribly anguished scream, painfully high pitched
and sounded like it was mourning for someone’s death that startled me
and made everyone else jump.  I looked at the group in front of me and
saw that they were looking back at me.  Worry suddenly formed in their
faces.  It dawned on me that I was the screamer and I was still
screaming.

I did not know what happened next but I found myself in someone’s
embrace, hugging me tightly while soothing me in elvish.  He rocked
back and forth as I burrowed deeper into his strong arms and chest
while clutching his clothes, unwilling to let go.  It felt like I’m
back in ada’s arms again, soothing me and protecting me from harm after
a nightmare.  May be I was?

When I was coherent enough, I realised that Estel was holding me.  I
needed that now, very badly and very desperately.  I cried my heart out
and thankfully the sounds were muffled.  My body shook violently and I
was a wreck.

I continued to cry and wail helplessly until someone made me inhale
some crushed leaves.  They smelled sweet but also made me sleepy.

Estel took off his shoes and climbed into bed to sit behind me, resting
his back against the headboard.  The healers helped him to prop me up
against his chest and pulled the covers up to my neck.

My mind was too drowsy to do anything by now and I had calmed down
considerably.  Distantly, I felt Estel laid a hand around my chest
while the other smoothing my forehead soothingly.

In between my dreams, I hazily felt a warm hand still clutching me
protectively and my lips being wetted with water.  Such tender care
that I have yearned for so long.  Maybe I was home in Mirkwood again. 
Maybe ada had saved me.

Too tired to think any longer, I slept serenely, trusting the soul to
take care of me.


Title		: The King’s Property
Author		: Red Autumn (red_autumn21@yahoo.com)
Pairing(s)	: Legolas/Aragorn, Arwen/Aragorn (implied)
Rating		: PG-13 to R [Slash, Rape, Angst, Dark Thoughts,
                  Violence, MPREG]
Summary 	: Prince Legolas was kidnapped.  By whom and why?
Warning 	: Very, very dark.  Lots of graphic physical and mental
                  descriptions.  PLEASE, PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS.
Disclaimer	: All Tolkien’s characters created by him belonged only
                 to him.  I only borrowed them to bring to life my
                 fantasy universe.
NOTE		: This fic is AU  (Galadriel has no power / No rings
                  existed / No Sauron or Mordor)
                  Thanks to beta reader Anu.



14.  Meeting Faramir

“Legolas..….Legolas,” I heard a distorted voice calling me.

“Ada?  Ada is that you?”

Silence.

“Ada?  Are you there?  Please don’t leave me!”

Silence again.

“Ada!” I yelled and sat up.  My hands shook as I clutched my chest,
feeling the furious pounding and the rapid, convulsive breathing.

A flurry of movement caught my eyes but before I could identify it, a
hand landed on my right shoulder that made me jump in fright.  I jerked
my head up and found a man I had never met before staring at me. 
Anxiousness as well as weariness was clearly reflected on his face.

“I’m sorry, Your Highness.  I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he assured
me in a gentle voice while removing his hand from me.  “You were having
a nightmare,” he explained and knelt down on one knee so that he was
now eye level to me.

I stared blankly at him for a brief moment before answering him.  “I
was ….. dreaming of my ada.”  He cocked his head to one side as if
confused but did not press me further on the subject.

“Are you all right now?  Can I get you anything, Your Highness?” he
inquired again.

“No…..no.  I’m fine, thank you,” I answered.  “What time of day is it
now?”

I tried to steal a glance at him.  Who was this young man and why was
he here?  It was obvious from his attire that he was not a servant or
one of the palace guards.  Did Estel arranged for him to stay with me?

The youth looked out of the window and then turned back to look at me
before answering.  “It is almost lunch time, Your Highness.  Are you
hungry?”

I shook my head.  A bitter lump formed in my throat as I thought of
what happened the last time someone brought me food.

“His Majesty had to leave Gondor for a while, on a most urgent matter. 
He was most reluctant to leave Your Highness alone at the time that you
needed him most.  So, he requested that I look after you,” the young
man informed me.  “Oh!” he exclaimed suddenly, jerking his back
straight.  “Please forgive me, Your Highness for my lack of manners.  I
have not even introduced myself yet.”

“No need to apologise.  Neither have I introduced myself too,” I
reasoned.

“But you are.”

“Please,” I interrupted him.  “just call me…...Fernion.”  I had to
congratulate myself for coming up with that name so fast.  I did not
know why it just popped into my mind.  The new name seemed fitting.  As
far as everyone was concerned, I was dead.  Fernion meant ‘dead son’ in
Sindarin.*  “Just Fernion.  Forget the formalities,” I added, for I was
no longer a prince.

The young man in front of me seemed even more confused but I could see
that he was trying very hard not to ask why out.  He was probably
trying to understand the rationale behind my thinking.

“My name is Faramir,” he introduced himself finally.  “I am the younger
brother of Boromir, the Steward of Gondor.  May be you have met him
once or twice before?”

“In most unfortunate circumstances,” I answered and offered no further
explanation.  The young man just stared at me expectantly.

Like all men who had reached their majority, he sported the fashionable
facial hair; though he was not tan like Estel.  Probably he spent most
of his time in the palace.  

The beautiful light brown locks framing his face gave a false
appearance that he was younger but if one looked closer, there were no
denying the barely visible lines of experience and wisdom under his
eyes.  Faramir was pleasant in looks for he had a noble feature that
exuded trust and responsibility.  His only flaw was that he looked a
little naïve.

“I should really get you some food, Fernion.  You’ve not eaten for
three days.  You should think about your ba….” he shut his mouth at
mid-sentence.  A scowl appeared on his face as if he was scolding
himself for his blunder.

A mild ache seized my heart suddenly but I hid it behind a calm mask. 
As the pain subsided, I let out a slow, strained breath.  So many
emotions jumbled itself inside me at the same time.  I did not know
which one was more overwhelming – anger, hatred, melancholy or
surrender?

Unconsciously, my right hand wrapped itself against my belly. 
Although, it had not swollen noticeably, I could feel a life pulsing
there.  What was created cannot be undone.  I must come to terms that I
am now carrying an innocent child inside me.  It was most unfortunate,
that a man, out of selfish greed and arrogance, made both of us victim.

“Fernion?”  Faramir’s voice broke into my thoughts.  “Are you all
right?  I’m sorry I didn’t mean to remind you about….” he trailed off
again.  He just seemed to have such a tough time trying to say the
right thing.  I could see exasperation in his big, brown eyes.

“It’s all right, Faramir.  I am fine.  You’re right.  I should try to
eat something,” I blurted, trying to ease his embarrassment.

Faramir relaxed visibly and smiled.  He stood up, walked over to the
door and opened it just enough to pop his head through.  After a brief
instruction, he returned to my side and knelt down again.  His
behaviour made me believe that Estel was quite strict even on his own
subjects.

“Please take a seat, Faramir.  I’m not cruel like the King.”  The
statement had shocked him but he recovered quickly.  Tentatively, he
pulled the chair next to the bed and sat on it.  He had probably slept
on that chair because a thin blanket was draped carelessly over the
back.

“Have you been staying with me for the past three days?”  I started
conversationally, trying to ease the awkwardness.  My back felt tired
so I shifted to sit against the headboard.  However, Faramir helped by
placing a pillow behind me and pulled the blanket up to my waist.

“Yes.  Actually, I was assigned to stay with you until the King
returns,” he answered somewhat softer.

“I’m sorry for taking you away from more important duties.”  For some
reason, I liked to look into his eyes.  There was an air of innocence
and compassion in them.

“No, no.  Don’t get me wrong.  I am honoured to be of service to you,”
he blurted excitedly.

“I believe you, Faramir,” I gave a light chuckle, amused by his comical
expressions.  It was almost child-like.

The young man eased up again after seeing my lightened mood.  I was
surprised myself because it was the first time I had been able to show
the brighter side of me.  There was something about Faramir that did
not make me doubt him and that I could smile genuinely around with
sincere feelings of safety that was a blessing these days.

“Have I been much trouble?” I pestered him further.  What a stupid
thing to ask him.  This was something that my ada would ask Lord Elrond
when he came to take me home to Mirkwood.

“Well, you had a slight fever that caused everyone to worry.  It can be
dangerous in your..…delicate condition.”  The last two words were
spoken a bit hesitantly as he watched for my reaction.

“And I can see that I’ve troubled you tremendously,” I concluded.

He smiled sheepishly.  “Do I really look that terrible right now?”

It was my turn to smile shyly.  “I didn’t mean it that way.  Just that
I noticed your eyes are really red; from lack of sleep perhaps?”  There
was a brief pause as we looked at each other again and smiled
idiotically.  Despite being surrounded by royalties and aristocrat
almost my entire life, I had managed to be a blunder in front of him.

“I hope I am not offending you, Fernion if I dare say that you are the
most beautiful elf I’ve ever seen.”  I tensed.  I remembered a certain
man who had complimented me with those same words.  “But....but not in
a female sense,” he added quickly.  “I’m so clumsy, aren’t I?” he
looked down at his lap; feeling embarrassed.

As I was about to answer him, I heard a soft rap.  Faramir almost shot
up from his seat and crossed to open the door.  I guess he was relieved
for the interruptions from his current humiliation.  A servant was
standing outside with a silver tray.  He thanked her and took the tray,
balancing it with ease while walking towards me.

Thankfully he had thought not to get me any cooked food.  When he
placed the tray beside me, I saw that the plate was filled with
beautifully cut fruits and assembled in the shape of a flower.

“I’ve asked them to get you a glass of orange juice and a glass of
water because I don’t know which you prefer,” he said as he sat down on
the chair again.

“Thank you for your thoughtfulness.”  Taking a piece of melon I popped
it in my mouth and chewed slowly.  It was deliciously juicy and sweet
though at first, it was difficult to swallow because my throat still
ached; probably from the lack of moisture while I was in a healing
sleep.

“How did you know what to get for me to eat?” I enquired, making a face
while swallowing the chewed mash.

“I just guessed that elves prefer fruit to meat.  Right now, I’m sure
it’s the only thing you will find palatable.”  Remembering the greasy
stuff, I felt a little queasy but I forced it down.

“You have met other elves then?” I was curious.

“Only Queen Arwen, and her family – once, but I did not get the
opportunity to speak much to them.  I’ve mostly read about your race
from books when I was a young boy.  I’ve often dreamed about meeting
your people but never had the chance because I never traveled out of
Gondor’s border,” he shrugged.  “My father never thought it was
necessary.”

“My ada was overly-protective of me too because I was very young
compared to my two elder siblings.  They never let me out of their
sight.  I resented that a lot because I never get to go anywhere.”  It
seemed strange to relate my personal life to a stranger and a man, at
that.  “I think you’re a very sensitive person, Faramir.  You are very
observant of…things.  Do you have a wife and child?”

A tinge of blush crept up his face.  “No, I’m not married yet.  I have
not found the right one,” he said.

“When you do, I’m sure she will be a very lucky maiden to have you,” I
offered a very sincere opinion because I could sense that he was
different from Estel.  Unluckily for me, I no longer had that choice. 
I was already doomed before I even had a chance to look for my soul
mate.  It hurt a lot just to think about it.

“Thank you,” he murmured.  “As a child, Boromir was already being
groomed to be the future steward.  It was his destiny.  As for me, I
was free to do whatever I wanted.  Since I was too young to join them
in any functions, I spent a lot of time with nannies and other maids. 
They taught me to cook and some art in healing.  When I became older, I
had other trainings and became aide-de-camp to my brother.  I had
always preferred books to weapons and that was not very pleasing to my
father.”

A brief silence hung between us as I waited for him to finish whatever
was still running in his mind.  “The women folk think I’m so adorable
as a child, so they always kept me possessively with them.  It
irritated my father to no end,” he started to laugh.

“And you are still adorable now!” I teased.  The handsome youth smiled
bashfully again.  I noticed that he was always so shy and quiet.  I
thought he was more elf than man.

“No wonder they still fuss over me like a child.  I had always thought
that it was just old habits that never die,” he joked.

I wondered about his mother because he only mentioned about being with
nannies but I did not ask him.  The question would be too personal.

“Would you like to go to the garden later?” he said eyeing me.

My eyes lit up and I held my breath.

“I like that but I will be putting you in too much trouble with the
King if he finds out,” trying not to sound too eager.

“If you don’t try to escape,” he said casually.

“I promise I won’t try anything,” I answered in an excited manner, like
an elfling who had just been granted permission to ride alone in the
forest.

“I know.  Elves are honorable creatures,” he remarked playfully.  There
was a certain glint of mischievous in his brown eyes.

“Thank you, Faramir, for being so kind to me,” I said in an almost
melancholic tone.  In response, he studied my face intently, trying to
figure out what I meant by those words.  If only he knew.

I did not care anymore.  I just wanted to feel the wind on my face and
hair, the warmth of Anar on my skin and the grass on my bare feet.  I
ate quickly while Faramir regarded me silently from his chair.

* ~ * ~ *

When I felt Anar kissing the bare skin of my face, neck and arms again,
I was so emotional that a tear rolled down my cheek.

“What’s wrong?  Are you in pain?”  Faramir sounded concerned and he
took my right forearm with intention to guide me to a nearby wooden
bench.  The innocent touch made me tug my hand away suddenly but I
chastised myself for that action.  He was only being helpful.

Faramir noticed it and let go of my arm immediately.  “I’m sorry.  I…I
didn’t mean to startle you like that.”

“It’s all right, Faramir.  I’m fine.”  I tapped his left hand
assuringly.  “I’m just a bit overwhelmed, that’s all.  I’ve not felt so
alive like this in a long time.  Elves do not survive long if kept in a
stone prison.”

“Oh,” was his only response.  I wondered what he must have been
thinking.

While seated on the bench, I took my shoes off so that I could feel the
soft grass on the soles of my feet.  I wriggled my toes before stepping
onto the natural green carpet, trimmed perfectly.

FARAMIR’S POV

Legolas seemed to have lost himself in his own little world.  He looked
and reacted so differently when he was in his chamber.  I was well
aware of his ‘story’ for Boromir had told me everything.  Being the
Steward, he had the privileges of keeping every little secret for the
king.  However, I was warned to behave as if things were normal and
that I was ignorant of his predicament.

I pitied him greatly.

I am angry with Aragorn for so selfishly causing such a fair creature
to suffer so unjustly.  Why could he not see that he was destroying two
beautiful souls – Arwen and Legolas; and soon, the child too.  It was
unfair to them.  Nevertheless, my pledge of allegiance to the King of
Gondor meant that my hands were tied behind my back.  I had no means to
help them.

When I looked at Legolas, he seemed so young even though I was sure he
was at least a few hundred years old.  By my guess, in human years, he
should probably be younger than me by two or three years.  In our
standard, he would be considered only a mere youth.  Such a cruel fate
for a child.

Being in my early twenties, I was already being judged upon by the
other members of the staff in the palace to be too young to hold any
office beside the Steward.  It took me two years to convince them that
I did not obtain the responsibility through my brother.  Even the
visiting foreign dignitaries often mistook me for a page.

I watched as Legolas walked away from me and then he stopped dead on
his tracks.  This wood elf had caused me great curiosity as well as
fascination.  What was he like in the natural surroundings?

Of course, the garden was not as natural as an elf would like but it
was close enough.  The garden was quite artificially created because
the gardeners had purposely planted the trees and flowers in certain
designs.  Here and there were benches and water fountains to add to the
complete ensemble.

When I was young, I read a lot about the elves and was always so
intrigued by them.  They were as magical as unicorns and fairies. 
Every information that I could gather and read, I would keep in my
heart because I hoped one day to meet one and impress him/her of what I
knew.  My brother often teased me for daydreaming too much.

Arwen was the first and closest elf I had met, though she carried only
part of the elven blood in her.**  Nevertheless, she took my breath
away with her unsurpassed beauty.  I often found myself awed and
completely disarrayed when near her.  I was not in love with her but
rather like a child who discovered an angel.

When Boromir had called me in and told me about my new temporary duty,
I was shocked.  Never would I imagine meeting a real elf – a full elf.

Right now, my interest was totally engrossed by this creature, standing
not far away from me.

Legolas was standing straight as a pole, bare feet slightly apart and
eyes closed.  Then he did something strange.  He lifted up his hands,
resembling a cross and tilted his head to the sky.

At first, I thought he was praying as we often do but as I stared
further, I noticed something was happening.  It was barely noticeable
but it was there.

I saw tendrils of energy rising from the ground – shifting and
shimmering before they began snaking around his feet.  ‘Am I imagining
it or is my sight playing tricks on me from the lack of sleep?’ I
wondered in amazement.  No, it was real.

Strangely enough, I feel no fear or mistrust towards Legolas that he
may be calling upon magic to make his escape.

The colourful ribbons swirled upwards as if trying to engulf the elf
into its hungry mouth.  It twisted madly making its way over his head
until finally encasing him into a bright cocoon.  I lost sight of him
entirely.

From where I was sitting, I could feel the effect of the force – a
light breeze that blew past me, that was neither cold or hot.  It was
no wind but felt like………I don’t know how to put the words.  Goosebumps
appeared on my skin and barely noticeable prickling brushing the
surface of my exposed skin.

I realised that I was staring at Legolas with my mouth hanging.  He no
longer resembled anything but just an entity, pulsing with light.

Right at that very moment, I came to understand what was happening –
the elf, was receiving the energy of the earth.  I finally knew why
they needed to be outside, for their body and soul feed on this living
force.

When the wind had died down, everything was quiet and nothing stirred. 
I was still gripped by the shock of witnessing the sacred rite that I
did not know if I was watching in wonderment or just completely stunned
into a trance.

Legolas stood silently for a while longer as his inner light began to
tone down and back to its natural state.  Then he opened his eyes and
turned to look at me in a strange manner.  For a brief moment, I caught
a flash of mischief in those deep sapphire eyes, and something else, I
knew not.

Any mortal had probably never observed what Legolas and his kind had
done.  I was honoured that he trusted me to bear witness an ancient
holy ritual that was not meant for anyone to gaze upon but the Elves.

NOTE:  *  I hope I got this translation right.  Thanks to Cheysuli and
Botticelli for their suggestions.  ^ _ ^  I hope no one else beat me to
it and had come up with that name earlier to use it on their stories. 
If there is, I apologize before hand.  Didn’t mean to steal your
character.

** Earenduil, Elrond’s father was a half-elf. Because of his adventures
in Valinor, his children who were 1/4th human were given the title
‘half-elven’, and the title is carried on in the family. Arwen, Elladan
and Elrohir are actually only 1/8th human.
– note courtesy of my beta reader – Anu.  ^ _ 



15.  A New Friend And A New Enemy

A gentle wind tugged at my loose locks, causing a sensation of
excitement fluttering in the pit of my stomach.  I felt truly refreshed
as if my whole body and soul were cleansed of any dirt and grime, and
so drastically invigorated that I could run all the way to Mirkwood
without stopping to catch a breath.  The effects would have been much
more powerful, leaving me glowing brightly from inside for days, if I
had performed the rite in an ancient forest.  For now, I was most
grateful to the ‘inhabitants’ of the garden for lending me their living
energy.

The very moment I opened my eyes, everything around me was full of
vibrant colours that seemed to come alive.  My eyesight became keener,
enabling me to see every detail clearly and my hearing caught sounds of
animal leagues away.  It was all the wonderful music of life but sadly,
the effects did not last very long.  As I walked back towards the
wooden bench, I noticed that my tread was considerably lighter and
bouncier.

What caused a gentle tug of smile at both end of my mouth was when my
gaze fell upon Faramir.  Those light brown eyes were so wide open and
rounded that he resembled a night creature emerging from the dark.

I barely knew Faramir for only less than a day.  However, he had
already earned my trust and even the privilege to witness a ritual
performed since the first firstborn set foot on Arda.

Without a word, I glided gracefully to sit next to Faramir and closed
my eyes again.  I lifted my head to the sky and enjoyed the warmth
given by Anar on my face and neck, praising in silence for its gift of
life.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

Three weeks had passed and I had been blissfully unaware of it until
Faramir mentioned it today.  I did not know how time had slipped around
me so quickly and without notice.  However, I had not been idle in my
thoughts.  Many nights while lying alone in bed, my conscience was at
war with itself.

Escape demanded me to hasten but I was also torn with the guilt of
betraying Faramir’s trust.  He had been very easy going with concerns
to security, believing that I would not attempt to slip away.  Or was
this the only reason why I stayed back, so that I would not hurt his
feelings?  I was continuously berated by selfishness from both sides –
to save myself first and not disappointing Faramir.

How could I choose?  Was there no way I can do both?  I was also
painfully aware that Faramir was, after all, a man and he could betray
me in the end but time and time again, when opportunity presented
itself to allow me to escape, I did not act on it because my conscience
nagged at me that the young man had never shown any signs of betrayal
other than uncalled kindness towards me.

Why would I feel bad if I disappoint him?  Sometimes, I just wanted to
hit my head on the wall for my stupidity and for trusting his kind.

Ever since meeting Faramir, my imprisonment was made tolerable.  His
companionship had made me feel less lonely and I was deeply in
gratitude for it.  His thoughtfulness and sincerity really helped me to
keep the depressions at bay.

Everyday, the Steward’s brother would visit me to see if I needed
anything and to see that I was properly cared for.  He even made sure
that the servants drew me hot baths every day.

Thankfully, he had personally arranged for the same servants to attend
to me.  It was most awkward to be intruded upon by many different
people but with the same ones I was able to make friends with them and
be more at ease that I was again surrounded by familiarity.

Whenever the healer came to examine my progress in pregnancy, Faramir
would take the time from his duties to accompany him.  He had been most
respectful in giving me privacy while the healer looked me over.  It
was quite embarrassing enough to allow another man to touch me in
certain areas that only a lover would be allowed and that made me loath
the healer whenever he appeared.

To prepare me mentally for the changes that would occur in my body, the
healer lectured me in many details that sometimes left me blushing
furiously.  I did not own a woman’s physical characteristics, yet I was
reminded that that could change.  I screwed my face in disgust when he
described the size and shape that I would take when my belly swelled. 
In my mind, I saw myself looking like a pot-bellied dwarf.  (No offense
here to all the mothers out there.  Just being comedic here.)

Morning sickness would be a daily routine as well as raging hormones. 
There were also many other things that he told me such as producing
milk from my chest but I would not believe it because physically that
would be impossible for me.  Truth be told, no one would really know
how I would change as the conception was not natural.

At other times, I found myself in a constant state of exhaustion.  I
often spent my time in bed, sleeping the day away.  Whenever I was
awake, Faramir would appear along with some books for me to read. 
Sometimes, if time permitted, Faramir would have his dinner with me in
my chamber.

We discovered quickly that both of us had quite a lot in common such as
our intense love for folklore and that both of us lost our mothers
while we were very young.  We had spent many hours exchanging stories
about our families and childhood.  I was often in the mood to indulge
him with tales of Mirkwood.  I could see that his eyes glittered in
daydreams as if he were already there and seeing it with his own eyes.

Morning sickness did not attack me as frequently nor as badly as I’d
thought.  Usually, it was easily remedied by nibbling on dried
biscuits.  However, I would be without appetite after that.  Only after
continuous fussing by Faramir, did I manage to get down a bowl of soup.

On days that I was in good mood, I would tease him relentlessly about
him being a nagging nanny.  But when bad moods struck, I would brush
him off and pout.  He would laugh instead at my childish behaviour. 
Sometimes I was in tears, begging to be allowed to go back to Mirkwood
especially when homesickness struck me.  This unusual behaviour in me
struck a cord of fear.  It left me confused and sad.

As I got to know Faramir better, a feeling of envy filled me.  While
looking at him, I was very much convinced that his future wife would be
the luckiest woman to have him as a husband.  He had every
characteristic and manner that any woman would kill for……including me. 
Alas, I was not a woman and my condition right now was……..ai, too
disturbing to think.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

One fine day, Faramir thought that it would do ‘both’ of us good to get
some fresh air and healthy sunlight on my skin.  I never really thought
about being ‘two of us’ when referring to myself.  I guess I was still
getting used to it.

We sat in silence, enjoying the sound of nature.  I had closed my eyes
so that I could form mental pictures of my surroundings from my hearing
alone.  I was actually trying to escape from reality through the
fantasy world I conjured in my mind.

Suddenly, a shadow fell on me, blocking Anar entirely.  I frowned,
thinking that perhaps a cloud had passed by and engulfed the Giver of
life until……

“Your…Majesty!”  I heard Faramir exclaimed in shock and fear.

My eyes snapped open immediately.  Why had I not heard ‘him’ coming? 
Terror gripped me as I met a dark figure standing between me and Anar,
looking down at me with hands on hips.

“Es…Estel?”  I stuttered and tried to stand up.  Faramir did likewise.

To my surprise, when I stood eye to eye with the person in front of me,
‘he’ turned out to be a breathtakingly beautiful woman.  From my
sitting position, I had misjudged the height and because she was
wearing clothes fit for long-distance traveling – tunic and leggings,
complete with boots – I had thought she was a man.

She stared at me with utter hatred and anger in her eyes.  The three of
us stood unmoving and unspeaking.

Then I noticed the pointed tips of her ears peeking through her tied
back ponytail.  It all made sense now.  The woman staring at me was
Queen Arwen, also the youngest child to Lord Elrond.  My jaw dropped in
shock at this realization.

‘She could help me!’ I thought frantically.

Before I could utter a word, a sharp slap landed on my right cheek. 
Her blow was not as harsh as Estel’s but it was enough to reel me to
one side.  Out of reflex, Faramir reached out and caught me.  My cheek
stung bitterly and my right hand instinctively covered the throbbing
heat.  With bad timing, my nausea chose to hit me.  I dry heaved once
but fought hard to calm it down.

Her action confused me greatly.  It was filled with ferocity and rage.

“How dare you seduce my Aragorn?” she accused me vehemently.

I was dumbfounded.  SEDUCE??

“You must be mistaken.  I seduced no one,” I replied calmly, my eyes
trained on her, trying to read her intentions.  I could not believe a
word that she had just said.  There was no reason for her accusation.

“Don’t lie to me, ELF!” she spat angrily, almost yelling at me.

Both Faramir and I were taken aback.  From the hands that were still on
my back supporting me, I felt him tense.

As I had long suspected, her husband had conveniently forgotten to tell
her of his plans for me.  From the look on her face, she was ready to
rip my eyes out and beat me to a pulp.  She-elves could be dangerous
and were not to be reckoned with lightly.

But how could she so cruelly utter the word elf in such a manner as if
it were a disease or the foulest creature in Middle-Earth?  I had often
assumed that a child of Elrond would be like him – rational – as I had
observed from her older siblings.

The queen was clearly in a fit of jealous rage.

“You think so lowly of your own kin?”  It was more a statement than a
question.  I could see that she was still boiling with anger but she
had at least controlled herself, for the moment.

“Aragorn is a king after all and who would not try their luck?  Tell
me, how long had you been eyeing my husband and then strike when I was
away?  How long have you been with him?  What did he promise to give
you, hhhmmm…..?”  It made me shudder when she spoke so calmly now when
she had been ready to explode before.  “And now that the King is away,
you’ve begun to collect favours from others as well.”

This was an outrage.  She had blatantly slandered me.  She had accused
me of being dishonorable - twice at that.

“Your HUSBAND brought me here against my will!”  I hissed icily.  “I am
an elf with pride and virtue.  I have no use for favours when I still
have my own two hands to help me.”  I lifted my head up proudly,
refusing to let her intimidate me.

“You’re just a harlot!” she yelled suddenly.  “You are no honorable
elf.  Look at how he holds you!”  Arwen glared at Faramir.

Quick as lighting, Faramir withdrew his hands from me.  The man was
speechless and unable to defend himself.  I could see that he was
frozen in disbelief and horror.  His situation was quite delicate in
this matter because he was a subject of Gondor and sworn in service to
the royal couple.  He could suffer severe punishment if she deemed that
he deserved so - even death.

A low growl reverberated in my throat.  She was most unfair in her
judgment towards us.

Arwen turned her attention back to me.  She seemed most displeased that
I was still insolent.  She had been pampered for far too long and had
grown vain in the process.  She lifted her hand to strike me again but
I caught it and flung it away angrily.  I heard Faramir gasp.

“Do not touch me again!” I warned threateningly.  I could see that it
took all of her will power to keep her face a mask of neutrality and a
show of bold defiance at the same time.  It was as if she were
challenging me.  With a sniff she stormed away.

While watching her walk away, my vision dimmed and I felt faint.  I
vaguely felt Faramir catching me again and helped me to sit down.  I
was too drained and defeated.  Tears began to stream down my face and I
was soon crying.  It was a terrible feeling to be left abandoned even
by my own kin.  No family, no gods and now, no one.

At first Faramir did not know what to do but after some hesitation, he
tentatively wrapped his arm around my shoulders and drew me close to
him, giving me a friend’s support.

After that incident, I did not feel like going to the garden any more. 
This new event had been very discouraging for me and my mood had turned
to the worst again.  I refused to eat.  I refused to talk to Faramir. 
Even when he reasoned that I should think of the baby, I stubbornly
refused to move.  I felt like dying, taking the unborn child with me.

Faramir grew worried and helpless as I withdrew further away from
everyone.


16.  The Queen’s Revenge.

ARWEN:  	You’re a harlot.  You’re a harlot to all men!

ARAGORN:	You’re mine, Legolas.  Only I can touch you.

FARAMIR:	You are the most beautiful elf I have ever met.

ELROND: 	You seduced my daughter’s mate?  I loved you as a son and this
is how you repay my family?

THRANDUIL:	You are no son of mine.  You are dead to me!  You are dead
to Mirkwood.

HALDIR: 	You’re weak, Legolas.  I am very disappointed in you.  I am
ashamed to have you as a friend.

TWINS:  	We hate you!  You’re nothing but a harlot!  (voices in unison)

The cruel words and voices circled round and round, attacking me from
all sides.

“No!  No!  That’s not true.  Please listen to me.  Please!”  I tried to
make my voice heard above all the accusations.

HARLOT!  MINE!  MINE!  BEAUTIFUL ELF!  HARLOT!  DEAD!  WEAK!  ASHAMED! 
MINE!…………

“No!”  I reached out to grab someone but …… nothing.  It just
evaporated into smoke.

I sat up, panting heavily.  Reaching up with a shaky hand, I wiped my
face and found my hands to be wet.  My body was drenched in
perspiration and I had cried in my sleep.

When my heart had slowed down to a regular beat again, I lay back.  It
was chilly in the dim room, so I pulled the covers up to my neck.  I
was about to turn to my side, when I caught a distinctive sound of the
door being opened.  Even though the hinges were well oiled, I could
detect it easily.

“Is that you, Faramir?” I called out but not too loudly.  I was too
lazy to look up at the direction of the door.

“No,” answered a familiar voice that made me tense.  “Are you expecting
him?”  

I closed my eyes briefly, feeling the dread returning to my heart. 
With his return, my carefree days had come to an end and my chance to
escape was over.  I rebuked myself severely for my unforgivable
foolishness on not acting upon my decision to obtain safety much
earlier.

Too late.  Taking a deep breath I tried to compose myself.  “No.  I
just never expected you would be back…so soon,” I replied him with as
much calmness as I could muster.

“I see.  Well, I sent him off to rest.  He looked tired.”  His voice
now sounded from behind me.  There were sounds of cloth rustling and
then the covers behind me were flipped aside.  The bed dipped and shook
slightly as he climbed into bed and lay next to me.

All my muscles wound tightly, ready to spring out of bed and make a
dash for the door.  He must have felt my tension because he slid his
hand over my arm and around my chest and held me tight against him,
curbing any escape.

“Legolas, your back is soaking wet.  Are you all right?”

“I was just feeling a bit hot, that’s all,” I lied.  My body still
protested against his touch and my mind was screaming for me to run.  I
had not realised that I was so strung up that I had forgotten to
breathe until my lungs were starving for air.

“I’ve missed you and our baby terribly,” Estel began.  “I could think
of nothing else but you while I was away.”  He moved his head closer
and planted a kiss on the back of my head before nuzzling into my hair.

As I had predicted, he could not leave me in peace for long without
molesting me in some manner.  The hand that was on my chest had slipped
down and under my undershirt.  I thought he had wanted to remove my
leggings but he started to rub my belly in circular motion, lovingly.

The feeling of a hot palm caressing me like that would have made me
purr like a contented cat but I was repulsed by his touch.  Before, I
would have let him do whatever he wanted, just so I could get it over
with quickly.  But ever since I was pregnant, I seemed to have become
overly sensitive in everything, including my dislike towards Estel.  
That had grown two fold.

“Please stop that,” I pleaded nervously.  Estel chose to ignore me and
continued his caressing.

“Faramir informed me that you had a fever after I left.  Thank the
Valar that nothing serious had happened to you and the baby.  I’m sorry
I was not here with you, to take care of you.”  As Estel spoke from
behind me, his hot breath against the back of my head irritated me.

“I’m not a child.  I don’t need anyone to look after me,” I retorted.

A snicker sounded from behind me.  “You act like one sometimes.”

“I do not!” I retaliated but shut up quickly as I realised that I had
just fallen into his trap.

There was movement behind me and I was relieved that he had finally
gotten out of my hair.

“I’m taking a few days off to spend time with you and the baby.  It’s
about time I took more responsibility as a father and a husband,” he
said from above me.  I turned slightly to look up towards him and found
him lying on his side with his head propped on an open palm while his
elbow supported the weight.

In the dimness, I had noticed that he had shaved his face clean.  He
looked years younger, almost as young as Faramir but then again, may be
the lights from the windows were just playing tricks on my eyes.

It was a nice gesture from him to at least try to be clean before
meeting me but this did not easily dissuade me.  I remembered that his
hand was still caressing my belly and with a measure of contempt, I
tried to remove his hand away.

Without a fuss, Estel let me pull his hand out from under my cloth.  As
soon as I let go of his hand, he reached up instead to pull my hair
behind my ear and kissed the nape of my exposed neck.  I recoiled
slightly.

“Let’s sleep,” he murmured, moving closer to me and once again, wrapped
an arm around me.  I guess he must have been very tired after the long
journey because very soon I heard him snore lightly.

Stifling a huge yawn, I laid my head back on the pillow and slept while
in his tight embrace.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

Estel had woken early this morning and after a long passionate kiss
(while on top of me), he left me alone to sleep further.  I did not
wake up until the servant – Milly – came in with my breakfast.

After managing to eat a small portion of food, I went into the bathroom
to freshen up and change into a clean undershirt and leggings.

While standing in front of the mirror, I found myself so thin and frail
looking, I almost could not recognise myself.  I hardly ate lately and
the bouts of nausea caused me to loose my appetite for the whole day.

Curious of what I would find underneath my clothes, I lifted the hem of
my undershirt gingerly, just over my belly.  I saw a barely noticeable
swell on my front.  Laying a palm tentatively over it, I felt a trickle
of energy pulsing.  Sometimes I still could not believe that I was
pregnant and no amount of logical thinking would persuade me until I
started to get sick.

Still staring at the tall mirror against the bathroom wall, I wondered
if I would be able to accept it when I start to develop physically?  I
am a male elf after all, and as all others of my kind, we pride
ourselves with the perfection of our body.  It may sound vain to other
race but I had been brought up with this belief ingrained in my
thoughts.

What would it be like when my front was heavy and I would have to
waddle instead of walk?  (Mothers out there, please don’t kill me! 
It’s Legolas’ thoughts!  I didn’t write this!  Honest!)  I tried to
recall the descriptions that the healer had tried to point out to me. 
That thought was most unsettling.  I must try to escape before these
changes hinder me.

Satisfied that I had stared long enough at myself, I went back to the
other room.  I had just picked up a red leather-bound book from the
side table and was about to sit by the window to read, when I heard
Estel charging down the passage, his steps heavy with resolution and
full of rage.  I wondered what had happened that displeased the King
so.  Even more disconcerting, why was he heading for my prison chamber?

The man entered the room bursting in like a maelstrom.  He stood by the
opened door, looking intimidating.  He seemed fuming with anger and
ready to kill.  It was frightening and I could not help but cower from
him.

As he advanced towards me, his hard grey orbs trained on me like a
Balrog ready to burn me alive.  Every step that he took, I backed away;
watching him carefully until my back touched the wall.  I was trapped
because in my fear, I had not realised that I was cleverly maneuvered
into a corner.

I was so sick with terror that I dropped the book on the floor and
wanted to run to the basin to empty my breakfast.  I could practically
hear my own heart thumping wildly in my chest.  Frantically, I tried to
calm myself, breathing slowly and deliberately.  I would not let him
know that I fear him.

“Where have you been while I was away?” he questioned me finally after
staring at me for some time.

“I…I …,” I stuttered, unsure of how to answer him.  I felt like hitting
myself on the head for that blunder.  I must show more courage.

Obviously, he knew I had been to the garden.  Who could have seen us
there for we were sure to be careful not to be discovered?

Faramir had managed to befriend two of the royal palace guards and had
conveniently put them on guard-duty whenever we planned to sneak to the
garden.  The only incident that had happened was……..I gasped, sensing
my eyes widen in shock.

“Yes,” he offered to answer for me after reading the confirmation on my
face.  “Arwen demanded to know why I kept an elf harlot in the palace.”

I was still too stunned to response and basically I did not think my
voice would work anymore.  Memories of that particular incident
surfaced and it hurt me to think about it again.  I had been very
depressed after that.

Faramir had told me once that only he and Boromir knew what really
happened.  I was quite aware that Arwen knew me only by name for we had
never met.  Was it possible she did not realised who I really was?

“Who let you out?”  His voice was unnervingly calm.

I opened my mouth to say something but failed again.

Estel crossed the last gap between us, standing so close to me I could
feel his warm breath on my face.  Unconsciously, I protected my belly
with both hands while they trembled slightly.

“Why did ‘he’ let you out?”  The revelation within the question did not
surprise me.  I was sure he knew everything.  Arwen would definitely
have spilled out everything during their arguments.  I guess Estel
wanted to hear from me, to confirm what Arwen had so graciously
incriminate me of.

“I…I…wanted….” My mind was in turmoil and reeling for an answer.  I had
to protect Faramir.  He did not deserve to suffer the King’s wrath for
he had been very kind to me.  “I….asked him to….”

“Or you seduced him into letting you go there?” he finished my sentence
in his own words.

I stiffened in utter shock at his allegation.  How had he come to the
conclusion that I could do such a thing?  I may not willingly have
consented to be his consort but I would never dishonor myself like
that.

“You had the chance to escape but you did not.  Was there something
between the two of you?” he added with contempt.  The more I looked
into his eyes, the more I was convinced that it was useless to argue
with him.  He would never listen to me now.  I sagged my shoulders;
feeling really tired all of a sudden.

“Yes,” I admitted even if it was a lie.  My voiced sounded small.

SMACK!!!

My head snapped to one side and my cheek stung painfully.  I did not
react or moved.  When I got over the shock, I looked down on the floor,
wishing to avoid the anger and surely the disgust on his face.  I had
already sealed my fate and hopefully, it would not be in vain.

“You’re a disgrace!” he spat.  Again, I did nothing to defend myself
but concentrated on the flagstones under my feet.  Let him think what
he wants.  I was prepared to take the brunt of his anger.

My main worry was my unborn child.  I feared that Estel would now have
nothing to do with me, and he would take my child away once I had given
birth.  Strange as it may seem, I was being protective of ‘it’.  I had
come to realise at this moment, that this child was a part of me, with
the blood of the House of Thranduil running through its veins.  I did
not have the heart to see him or her suffering at the cruel hands of
its Sire.

“You will receive your punishment later,” he hissed icily and then
stormed out of the chamber again.

Panic settled in my heart.  What means of punishment would he use on
me?

After standing for so long, still staring at the door, I had an attack
of lethargy.  I let out a deep sigh finally, and decided to sleep it
off.

Pulling the blanket over me, I let myself fall asleep slowly.  This
pregnancy was constantly sapping my energy and it was made worse
because I never ate enough nutrition to replenish my energy level.

What happened just now could not be solved for the moment.  I must rest
and prepare myself for what was worst to come later.

* ~ * ~ *

My blissful rest was interrupted when the feeling of a warm palm
smoothing my forehead and then my cheek gently drew me back to
consciousness.

At first, I saw only darkness around me.  After my eyes adjusted
quickly, I found a figure looming over me.  It was Estel.  There was a
strange look etched on his face.  I tried to decipher it but could not.

“Have you come to deliver my punishment?” I broke the silence first. 
My voice sounded sleepy and raspy.  This time I was calm and felt no
emotions, just detachment.

“No,” he answered after some time.  I noticed the flicker of candle by
the bedside.  Ai, Elbereth, I had slept the whole day.  Why did Milly
not wake me up for lunch?

“You look so tired and fragile,” Estel whispered.  His hand continued
to stroke my forehead.

I was surprised by his words.  It sounded almost longing and sad.  Did
he feel guilty or even pity me after all?  Or may be in the slimmest
chance that he understood my predicament?

“Were those the reasons you delay my punishment?” I enquired boldly,
indirectly challenging him.  Estel shook his head gently.

“Why did you lie to me?” he whispered.  This time I saw his irises
moved, studying my features.

His question puzzled me.  What did he mean?  Had he found out the truth
or was he unable to believe that I could be such a despicable elf?  The
only source of light danced on his features, masking the truth.

“What do you mean?” I needed to be sure what he wanted to know.

“Why did you lie for Faramir?”

So, he knew the truth but how much had Faramir told him?  But wait,
what method had he used to extract this information?

“Where is Faramir now?” I voiced my concern, afraid that he had
tortured the young man.

“Answer my question,” he raised his voice slightly.  I detected rising
anger and jealousy.

“I only wanted to protect him,” I admitted.

“Why?  Do you love him?”  More unfounded allegation.

I shook my head.

“No!  He was a friend and he had been very kind and helpful to me this
past month.  I only….,” I stopped and let out a sigh.  “I was just
protecting him because he let me go to the garden without your
permission.”

“Then why did you lie to me that you seduced him?”  A hint of pain
crept in his voice.  May be it was pain of guilt?

Before answering him, I tried to sit up.  It brought on a slight dizzy
spell and a mild headache.  Probably from sleeping too much.  Estel
decided to sit beside me but facing me.

“I did not lie.  You accused me by your own blind judgments and you
believed it yourself that I was a disgraced elf.  I agreed because I
just didn’t have the strength to argue with you.”  I stopped for a
moment to gather my thoughts and to breathe because suddenly I felt
breathless.  “Estel, you knew I devastated by this pregnancy.  You were
there that day.  Faramir saw that I was really depressed and I was
fading away.  He pitied me and did not think that I should die like
that.  So, he took the chance of facing your punishment and sneaked me
to the garden.  Estel, I was dying and he saved me.  You are lucky to
have such a brave and loyal friend.  Otherwise, you would have come
back to Gondor only to visit my grave.”

The silence in the chamber became evident suddenly as we locked our
gazes on each other.  Mostly what I had said was true but the last
sentence was added just to draw pity from him.  I did not care if I had
died and he only saw my grave.  I wanted to make sure Faramir would be
out of this entanglement.

Estel had stared into my eyes for the longest time in my life.  I
observed that his eyes had turned glassy and a trickle of tear rolled
down his cheek.

“Forgive me for ever doubting you, Legolas.”  Estel grabbed me into a
tight hug, crushing me.

“Estel, the baby!”  I rasped and felt him loosening immediately.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled with a silly grin.  “I’m sorry,” he apologised
again, this time looking at my belly and caressing it.  “Daddy was just
too excited and in love,” he cooed.  His childish speeches tickled me
and I could not help myself smiling.


17.  Under The Beech Tree By The Lake (Part 1)

The King had woken up early this morning in a good mood.  It seemed
that after the argument with his Queen, the man decided to spend his
nights in my bed instead; which was most inconvenient for me. 

After a quick breakfast, more like being forced to eat some, he
proposed to go to a favourite place of his.  He did not mention where,
but I would know eventually anyway.

Estel had personally chosen the attire that I was to wear from the
batch of clothes that the tailors had made for me, matching several
pairs until he was satisfied.  Meanwhile, I sat at the edge of the bed,
watching him in half-disbelief and half amusement.  How could a man
with such a capability for cruelty now fuss like a woman over such a
menial task as what I should wear?

Once we were ready, we headed straight for the stable – the King
walking with long strides, his steps full of eagerness while I tried to
keep up with him.  As before, he made me ride with him on the same
horse except that this time, he blindfolded my eyes before we headed
out of the stable.

The horse had not gone more than a few steps when I heard the
unmistakable hooves of at least six other horses accompanying us.

Being blind for the moment, I had to rely on my hearing to navigate my
surroundings.  Deep in the forest, I heard many things that made me
turn my head here and there.  I listened in rapt fascination to the
trees whispering and small animals roaming not far away.  Birds of many
species seemed to frequently fly overhead.

“We are here,” announced Estel cheerily, at last.  We had been
traveling for hours (at least I think it was) at a slow trot because
Estel did not want to risk hurting the baby and me.

When I reached up to take off the blindfold, Estel stopped me.  “Not
yet, my love,” he said.  Then he got off the horse.  “Don’t move.  I
will be right back.”

I was curious as what he was up to, but soon my mind was distracted by
the sounds and smells around me.  I cocked my head to one side to
listen to the tree branches creaking in the wind while its leaves
quivered excitedly.  I also heard a waterfall on my right not far away
from where I was.  We were probably near a lake because I did not hear
the distinctive sound of water rushing by.  It was here.

For quite sometime, I did not hear the sound of the six horses that had
been escorting us. They had probably left us about a shout away from
where we stopped, giving us privacy yet were close enough should the
need arise.

Very soon, Estel was back beside me.  He slipped his hands above my
waist  and helped me to get off.   But instead of letting me stand on
my own feet, he quickly shifted and carried me in his arms.

“Let me down, Estel.  I can walk by myself,” I protested indignantly. 
I hated when he treated me like a child.  I had had enough of that
treatment back home in Mirkwood.  As he refused to make a move to let
me down, I started to wriggle.

“Stop that, Legolas.  I will not have you throwing a tantrum here,” he
chastised me like a child.  I stopped moving and folded my arms on my
chest in show of defiance.  A chuckle reverberated on his chest.

After a few steps, each of which caused me to bounce some, Estel
stopped and gently lay me down on something soft.  I was about to take
the blindfold off again but he grabbed both my wrists and pinned them
above my head.  I panicked slightly, unsure of what he had in mind for
me.

“So, vulnerable right now,” he stated the obvious.  “So beautiful too,”
he whispered, closer to my ear this time.  I shuddered at the sound of
his voice and the hot breath on my skin.

Estel sat on my thighs but was careful to avoid putting his weight on
my belly.  A fresh scent wafted into my nostrils when his hair caressed
my face.

Blindfolded, I could only guess at what he was doing.  I was totally at
his mercy, though there could still be a chance that I could get away
given the opportunity.

Suddenly, I felt a pair of warm lips pressed on my own and a tongue
licking them.  There was nothing aggressive, he just taking his time
enjoying the kiss.  I was reluctant to allow him access into my mouth
but he did not demand it.  This was a side of Estel that I had not seen
since we had our first outing together with the twins and Haldir –
gentle, caring and lovingly passionate.

But he could not fool me.  I knew his intentions.  He wanted me to
accept him willingly, to welcome his love into my heart and soul.

The movements between my hands woke me from my thoughts.  I felt him
gripping my wrists with just one hand while the other traveled to touch
my face, moving along gently to my chest and finally to the side of my
belly.  He was still kissing me, and I considered kicking him away
because I was in need of air.

I guess he understood and released my mouth immediately.  I panted
quietly, relishing the sweet air in my lungs.  I could almost ‘see’ a
smile forming in his face while watching me.

An image of myself took form in my mind, as if seeing myself from his
point of view.  A flushed face half-hidden by the black blindfold and a
pair of tantalizing crimson lips slightly parted while breathing
heavily.  An erotic image that would no doubt aroused him even further.

More movement again, and soon, I felt a draft on my skin.

‘Estel had peeled my clothes away.’ I thought nervously.

I started to struggle to get away from him.

“Ssshhhh……. I will not hurt you, Legolas.  I just want to love you, to
show you the tenderness you so deserve,” he whispered in a loving tone.

“No, Estel.  I don’t want it.  Not now,” I pleaded.  “Please?”  I
sounded pathetic.

“You don’t have to worry about a thing, love.  All will be well.  Trust
me,” he tried to calm me again in a friendly tone.  That was what he
had said the last time - after he had forced the potion down my throat.
 I hated to re-live that moment.

FLASHBACK

“Trust me.”

I tried to breathe.  No air!  (held belly)

“Trust me.”

So much pain.  It’s torturing!  (clawed the sheets for something to
hold on)

“Trust me.”

No.  Help!  Take this pain away!  Please!

END OF FLASHBACK

“Legolas?” a husky voice brought me back to the present.

Before I could answer, I was kissed again, deeply this time, followed
by butterfly kisses all over my face and neck.  Unconsciously, I held
my head higher to let him better access when he started to lick the
length of my throat down to my collarbones and back again.  His hand
had continued to fondle my chest.  The sound of skin rubbing skin sent
me into a panic attack again.

To distract me, Estel quickly targeted the tip of my ear, licking it
with his wet tongue and running it along the edge until he reached the
lobe and nibbled.  When the fresh spring air hit the wet part of my
ear, I found myself shuddering with delight and my eyelashes fluttered
briefly before they closed shut.  Not that it matter anyway because I
was still blindfolded.

That monster had used my weakest point to control me.  I had been
swiftly reduced to a melted puddle while quivering like a nervous
virgin.  Even my breath came in hitched pants.  And that was the only
thing I heard, my own breath and nothing else.  Everything just
disappeared.

“I know you like it very much, Legolas.  Your body is showing it.  Just
let go and enjoy.  You will receive all my attention today,” he said
with a ‘smile’.

Several kisses later, he worked his way down to my nipples and finally
my navel, releasing my hands in the process.  I was already on the way
to being incoherent and did not make a move to get away from him. 
Instead, my hands raked into his hair, and my back arched to elicit a
closer contact to his body.

Estel ran his hands over my thighs, making a noise as his palms rubbed
up and down the material of my leggings.  He had purposely avoided the
most important area and I knew very well by now that it had hardened
and was seeking attention urgently.

When my nipple was suddenly licked and teased with his teeth, I arched
my back even more, letting go an amorous moan.

That sound started a battle within my head.

‘Stop it.’

‘I can’t.’

‘Don’t let him do it.’
‘But it’s so good.’

‘You cannot let him use you like this.’

‘I’m too weak right now.’

‘Be stronger then.  Push him away right now before you regret this
later.’

‘It’s too late.  I can’t stop it.’

‘Yes, you can.’

‘Too weak…..need this……need.’

- quiet -

‘I….I …can’t….stop…. it.’

- mind completely blank -

My mind and body finally gave in, melting like a candle under the
constant heat of the flame.  I had no will power to stop myself from
wanting more from his skillful ministrations.

I was helplessly trapped in the lust into which he had drawn me.  If
only he had been aggressive, I could have drawn some hatred from that
and used the emotion to propel away this need.

When he finally cupped a palm on my straining organ, I let out a loud
moan that made me blush furiously; such an unaccustomed wanton display.
 As he massaged my organ, I writhed shamelessly.

My leggings were pulled down slowly, and light kisses trailed from
thighs to knees and finally ending at my ankles.  After my leggings
were pulled away and my shoes removed, my feet were instantaneously
showered with much attention.  The muscles on my legs twitched from the
occasional tickles but I remained unmoving throughout.

The moment a hot mouth engorged my painfully aching member, I just
lifted my hips to push deeper into his throat.  In between groans and
gasps, I held on to Estel’s head and controlled him, as I wanted.  The
man complied eagerly.  When he started to move faster, suckling me
desperately, I was close to coming.  Just at the very edged of it, he
stopped and removed himself.  Immediately, I cried out in frustration.

“Patient, my beautiful.  I will make sure you enjoy every moment of
it,” Estel rasped huskily.  I could hear his heavy breathing as well as
clothes rustling.

‘He must be taking off his clothes!’

No, I could not allow him to take me.  Reflexively, I turned to get up
but Estel caught me by my waist and pushed me back down, on my side.

“Ssshhhh…..calm down, Legolas.”

Estel slid an extended arm underneath my head and wrapped it around my
neck, pinning me against him.  Shortly afterwards, his other hand had
moved between the crack of my buttocks making me aware of what he was
seeking from me.  Instinctively, I moved my lower region away but he
followed and hooked a leg over mine, immobilizing me fully.  That was
when I felt his hard flesh grinding my back.

I whimpered when I felt a wet finger begin to caress my opening.
“I love you, Legolas.  I will not hurt you.  I promise,” he whispered
into my ear.

‘He had said that many times, but...ai,…..’ I tried to pull away but
was unable to.

His finger had managed to breach through my tight ring.  There was a
little pain but it faded away quickly.  Now, I felt the digit moving
slowly, digging deeper.  I held my breath as he slid in and out gently.
 My hands came up and clung to the arm that wound around my neck, using
it as an anchor to hold myself.

The moment he brushed against something, with which I was now quite
familiar, I cried out and turned rigid.  When it happened again and
again, I found myself thrown into a heated passion and all needy again.

When he started talking to me, I was too delirious to either answer him
or register what he was talking about.  From one finger, it became two
and they were exquisitely torturing me with the most wonderful
excitement my body could take.

The moment he pulled his fingers away, I felt the loss and almost
wanted to grab his hand to push it back inside.  However, they were
quickly replaced with a hot, throbbing phallus.  It was too late to
escape.  Estel had began to push demandingly, seeking entrance.

The deeper he penetrated me, the more I dug my nails into the arm that
was still around my neck.  It was a hot, searing pain, like skin being
cut with a very sharp knife.  When I tried to move away, he slung his
other arm around my lower waist and drew me back.  I grimaced and
gritted my teeth, determined not to cry out but already feeling tears
wetting the blindfold.

I felt his very girth and length sliding bit by bit, causing an endless
pain to my lower region.  When he was buried deep inside, he stopped
moving.  I had held my breath for far too long and now released it so
that I could take in another deep lungful.  The pain had very slowly
begun to fade to a bearable throb while my body adjusted to his
intrusion.

When he started to move again, gently at first and very soon picking up
speed, I could not help but whimper out loud.  The pain had returned
and I started to claw at his hand.  However, Estel was quick to divert
my pain with something more pleasurable.  The moment he hit that sweet
spot, I forgot about the pain.  Before long, I was moving in unison
with him.  To add more torturing sensation to my body, he began to
stroke my deprived member.  I was moaning loudly by now, and even
shamelessly urged him to stroke faster and push deeper.

Reaching my release, Estel soon followed.  As we lay panting and
sweating in a tight embrace, Estel finally pulled my blindfold away.  I
squinted against the harsh light after such a long period in the
darkness.  I also could not focus because everything was blurry.

Estel pulled my hair back and begun to stroke my head.  “Sleep,
Legolas.  I will look after you,” he whispered soothingly and began to
hum an elven lullaby.

Adjusting himself closer to me, he wrapped the blanket that we were
lying on about us snugly, before sliding both arms around me
protectively, even possessively, and then gave me a kiss at the back of
my head.

Too tired to argue, I was soon lulled to sleep to the sound of his
humming and the rustling green leaves above us.



18.  Under The Beech Tree By The Lake (Part 2)

The warmth beside me felt good.  I snuggled closer to the source,
feeling happy and content.  If only the rest of my days could be filled
with so much love and warmth to comfort me.  This sensation brought me
to a resolution not to leave this place again.

In the background, I was distantly aware of sounds around me.  There
were soft rustling noises, accompanied by continuous splashing.  Where
was I?  Why did it sound so familiar?  Then something warm brushed
against my face that broke my reverie.

Leisurely, I woke up and found myself facing a stubbled chin.  ‘Oh yes.
 I remember now.’

Working carefully, I tried to extract myself from him but it was in
vain because unknowingly while asleep, I had wrapped a hand around the
muscular back and likewise he had a hand around me.  Even my legs had
somehow found themselves tangled between a pair of strong and hairy
legs.

“You’re awake,” a sleepy voice spoke from above my head.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to invade your space,” I apologised out of habit
rather than necessity.

“Stay, Legolas.  I like it when you come to me like that,” he added. 
“It is nice to wake up to find you in my arms.  Makes it easier for me
to kiss you.”  He did just that.  He lifted my chin so that I faced him
and bent forward to seal his lips against mine.  An inquisitive tongued
began to explore the depths of my mouth, as if desperately seeking for
something.  I did nothing to respond to him but had allowed him to
indulge himself.

Focusing beyond his head, I appreciated that Estel had chosen a very
nice spot for our ‘picnic’ as he called it.  We were actually lying
underneath a huge beech tree; its branches already heavy with light
green leaves quivering in the breeze.  Shifting my gaze beyond that, I
saw thick, white fluffy clouds, sailing across the vast blue sky
lazily.

After some time, he broke the kiss and I returned my gaze to him.  “I
love you, Legolas.”  Estel smiled warmly.  “One day I hope to hear the
same words from you.”  I continued to stare at him without showing any
emotions.  Just my silence.

By making things easy for him, I had actually encouraged the man to
think that I would change my views about him and accept him
wholeheartedly.  Sometimes, in my vulnerable moments, I almost
surrendered to that.  Almost was a word too close for comfort.
So far, it had all been a pretense.  I felt no love for him or even the
slightest fondness.  The latter was practically thrown out the window
when he bared his betrayal of me.  There was just a big, empty hole in
my heart – no emotions, no feelings.  Sometimes, it felt like a barren
cave – cold, dark and lifeless.

I had painstakingly kept up my submissive charade to make him lower his
guard.  This was the only chance I had left, before I became too big to
escape or before he could hold my child as hostage.

In the many months that I had been held here, I was able to compare and
understand a little bit more about Estel’s darker side.  When I was new
here, he had always been so angry with me and impatient.  It had been a
phase of setting ownership and ‘training’.  The man was slowly
manipulating my thoughts, making me miserable and lonely; and then,
coming to my ‘rescue’, claiming to be the only savior who could love
me.  He wanted me to seek him for all affection, warmth, comfort and
love – like an addiction.  Once I did, it meant that he had possession
of me.  However, he also made it known that he could easily take it all
away if I showed any defiance.

My ada was right.  I was a creature pure at heart and too naïve to be
able to survive alone in this ever-scheming and corrupt world.  Should
my ada be blamed for shielding me so fiercely from all these that in
the end, a little exposure would have saved me from this fate in the
first place?

Armed with this new knowledge of Estel, I wondered if I was able to
play his ‘game’ long enough before he found out about my plan.  At the
moment, Estel was elated that I was showing signs that he had succeeded
in breaking me.  He did – once – but I was fortunate enough to recover
from that, thanks to Faramir.  The only thing that I had not been able
to retrieve was my past and my birth name.

Giving me another quick kiss, Estel had brought me out of my pondering.
 He untangled himself from me and then reached over to the basket to
take out a water skin.  After unscrewing the cap, he handed it to me. 
I took it from his hand and tilted the opening to my mouth.

Red wine.  I hated it.  Taking only a small sip, I handed it back to
him.  Estel took a large gulp before placing it beside the basket.

“Feeling hungry?” he looked at me pointedly, a glint appeared on his
eyes.  I had a distinctive feeling that he meant something else.

“No.  I would like to go for a swim though,” I answered and made a move
to sit up.  That was when I noticed that my lower half of the body was
completely naked and my shirt was hanging open over my chest.  Estel
was in similar condition.

He smiled at me sheepishly.  The thought of our love making hours
before made me sick.  I had to distract my mind from that.

I finally had the first view of the small lake with its crystal clear
water laid out in front of us.  From my vantage, I could even see the
small rounded and colourful pebbles lying on the lake floor.  The
waterfall that I had heard earlier on was just facing us, its water
cascading playfully into the lake and made continuous ripples on the
surface.

Many kinds of trees surrounded the lake, offering a natural seclusion. 
It was beautiful and exuded a sense of tranquility.

Drawn by the call of the inviting water, I made a move to get up but
something made me stop mid-way.  A sharp pain, cutting across my waist
made me hold my breath.  I fell back to sit down and started to gasp in
shallow, rapid pants as more pain wracked my abdomen.

Estel was immediately by my side, wrapping a hand around my back.

“What’s wrong, Legolas?” his voice full of fear and concern.

“Pain,” I grimaced and clutched my belly with both hands, rocking
myself back and forth unconsciously.  The torture became worst and
suddenly, I felt something wet dribbling between my legs.  I looked
down.

Blood.  Bright, red blood was pooling beneath me.  I panicked at the
sight.

“Aarrgghhh…” I cried out through clenched teeth when a particularly
strong pain hit me again.

Estel made me lie back and lifted my legs, to rest them on something. 
I could feel the man’s hands trembling while on me.  Then he fumbled to
put on his leggings hurriedly before making a sharp, high-pitched
whistle with his lips.

“Hang on, Legolas.  We’re going home,” Estel soothed while wiping
sweats from my face.  “I’m here, love.  I love you,” he added, giving a
quick squeeze on my hand.

He worked hurriedly to prepare for our journey back to the palace. 
First he stuffed something soft between my legs and then proceeded to
wrap the blanket on which we’d been lying, around me like a cocoon.

In one swift motion, Estel stood up with me cradled in his arms and
headed straight for the horse.  I heard him saying something to someone
I could not see.  I had squeezed my eyes shut when a particularly
strong pain hit me again.

Moments later, I felt myself being jostled about before finally
settling down on a horse, in front of Estel.  Wrapping an arm tightly
around my back, he urged the horse to move.  However, when the bouncing
became too much for me to bear, Estel slowed the horse down.

“Estel…” I called out weakly.

“I’m here, Legolas.  I’m here,” he answered me; his eyes flitted
alternately between the way ahead and me.

“C..co..ld,” I stammered, trying to communicate what was happening to
me.  I was not sure if it was caused by fear or the lost of blood.

I was miserable to the core.  So much pain wrenching in my abdomen and
I felt like throwing up.  The chill had reached to my bones and I was
shaking furiously.

A sense of terror took hold of me but it gradually wore off because I
thought that if I were to die today, then so be it.  I was prepared to
face Lord Mandos anyway.

“Don’t close your eyes, love.  Talk to me,” a voice cut into my
drowsiness.  I tried to open my eyes several times but was unable to
focus on anything.  Mostly, I saw something dark looming over me and
sometimes, lights that managed to penetrate through my hazy mind.

Being afraid of the dark though, I reached out and blindly tried to
grab hold of something but my hand never touched anything.  Just
emptiness – a never-ending emptiness.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

<<  What ….wrong with him?  >>
<< I believe …..….. is not recognizing…..…….in his body.   That’s …. it
is attacking his …..  >>
<<  Is the baby…..  >>
<<  Yes.  Don’t worry…….Majesty.  Both of them will be ……  >>
<<  Do you ……..a second attack?  >>
<<  No.  I seriously doubt…..  >>
<<  Thank you….  I can take …….. from now.  >>

The soft conversation woke me and I tried to catch all the words, but
failed.  I tried to pry my eyes open but they remain heavy.  I wanted
so badly to know what had happened to me and if the baby was all right.

I opened my mouth to call for Estel.  “…tel,” was the only word I
managed to croak, the voice barely a whisper.

A warm palm caressed my cheek.  “Rest, Legolas.  Everything’s fine. 
You’re all right now.”  I recognised the voice as Estel’s.

I could not see him but I could feel his body moving to press closely
against my side.  I relished the warmth that he was giving me because I
still felt very cold.

My whole body felt like a dead weight and every part of me was numb. 
The pain had disappeared but it left me in total exhaustion.  Slowly, I
drifted off to sleep again.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

Something heavy on my chest and over my legs pulled me out of my sleep
in a slight panic.  I jerked my head up and was relieved to find that
Estel was deep asleep beside me with a hand over my chest and a leg
over mine.  The ‘ever possessive’ Estel.

I did not know how long I had been asleep but I felt a lot better now
and wanted to get up.  Gently, I pried his hand from me and slip away
from below his leg.  When he stirred, I stopped and held my breath.  He
did not show any signs of waking up so I cautiously slipped off the
bed.

As soon as I stood up, a dizzy spell hit me.  I quickly grabbed hold of
a bedpost and waited for it to pass.  Then I headed to the bathroom to
relieve myself and wash my face.  I noted that there were no more
bloodstains between my legs and I was wearing a clean undershirt.

While passing by the mirror, I could not help but stop to look into it.
 I looked terrible.  My eyes were bloodshot, my hair tangled and my
skin seemed slightly sallow.  I was so transfixed with myself that when
a hand circled around me, it startled me.

I looked up and found a scruffy looking Estel standing behind me.  I
mentally kicked myself for my failure to detect movements with my keen
elven hearing.  

“Why are you up?  You should be in bed, resting,” Estel said, his voice
was thick and raspy.

“I needed to go to the bathroom,” I answered.

“How do you feel?” he inquired and planted a kiss on my shoulder before
squeezing my chest in a tight embrace.  “Are you hungry?  You haven’t
eaten since yesterday.”

“Good but I’m not hungry.  Is the…baby…” I trailed off.

“Fine and healthy,” Estel quickly added.  I breathed a sigh of relief. 
Deep down, I was not sure if I should be relieved that the baby was
fine or if it would have been better if I had lost it.

“What happened?”

“Your body did not accept the baby as a part of yourself so it tried to
dispel it.  However, it will not happen again,” Estel explained. 
“Come.  You must not stand too long.  You need more rest.”  He released
his embrace and grabbed one of my hands to pull me along with him to
the other room.

Estel propped two pillows against the headboard while I climbed into
bed first.  He settled himself against the pillows and gestured that I
sleep on the bed, parallel to his outstretched legs.  Settling myself
snugly, he then draped two layers of blanket over me.

“Get some sleep, Legolas.  It has been a long day for you,” he said. 
His right hand began to caress my forehead.  I noticed that he had been
doing that many times.  While I enjoyed that very much, I wondered. 
There were many things about Estel’s past that I did not know.

“Estel?”  A nagging thought had been plaguing me since meeting Arwen
for the first time.  I must start finding out the truth.

“Hhhmm…?” he answered lazily.  He seemed to enjoy caressing my
forehead.

“Does Arwen know about me?  I mean does she know that you have taken a
consort?  And the baby?”  My heart pounded furiously in anticipation to
his answer.

“I don’t want to talk about that, Legolas.  You should not worry
yourself about it.  You will not meet her again.”  He sounded slightly
annoyed.

“What do you mean?  Did you kill her?”  I frowned and turned my head to
look up at him.

Estel chortled lightly.  “No, silly.  Of course not - I would not kill
her,” he gazed at me, his eyes reflecting his mirth.  “No, she does not
know about the baby but she has to accept the fact that I am replacing
her.”  He sounded so relaxed and nonchalant about the whole issue.

I was surprised by his attitude.  Did their years spent together not
amount to anything?  How could he be so heartless?  Wait, he could
indeed be heartless and I had experienced it first hand.  Suddenly, I
felt pity for Arwen more than for myself.

“Where’s…”  I wanted to know where she is now.

“Stop worrying, Legolas.  I don’t want to discuss this any further,” he
interrupted before I could go further.

“But…”

“I said no more discussion,” he clipped with a warning tone.  “You just
worry about getting enough rest and eating more.  I want that hollow on
your face filled quickly.”

I let out a defeated sigh and tried to get some sleep.

A most unnerving thought came to mind – Arwen would surely find a way
to kill me for replacing her, even if I were unwilling – but she did
not know that.



19.  A Promise To Fernion

I had now entered into my fifth month of pregnancy.  My abdomen had
swollen considerably and I could no longer see my own feet when I
stood.  While the changes did not scare me, they were sometimes
irritating.  A simple feat such as sitting down required some
maneuvering.

My belly itched a lot too.  On one of my scheduled visits from the
healer, I had mentioned this to him.  He explained that this would
happen because my belly was expanding and the skin would be stretched
to accommodate the growing baby.  He told me to massage some gentle oil
to help lessen the itching.

Taking his advice, I decided to do it after my bath.  While still
naked, I sat on a chair in the bathroom and started to apply the oil to
my belly.  As I was smoothing it all over my taut skin, I did not hear
Estel walking in.  I was too caught up within my own little world while
‘communicating’ with my baby.

Only after I had finished doing so did I realised the man was standing
by the door, staring at me with lust filled eyes and an obvious bulge
between his legs.  Surprise and embarrassment prompted me to dress
myself quickly.

“You are absolutely beautiful,” he spoke with approval.  Estel crossed
the distance to gather me in his arms and crushed his lips against
mine.  I did not struggle at first but as he started to harass my belly
with his throbbing needs, I pushed him away.

That little incident reminded me to always put on my leggings first
before I do anything.

I also noticed that I was glowing.  I had been standing in front of the
mirror one day and saw myself blushing like a maid.  I thought that it
was from the heat because I often felt very hot.  I told Milly, the
servant, to leave the bathtub filled with cold water so that I may soak
myself whenever I wanted.  However, the blushes did not disappear and
Milly finally commented that I actually look radiant.

Morning sickness was a thing of the past and I was glad.  I had started
to eat better and even had cravings for mushroom omelets.  I was happy
but feeling guilty at the same time whenever I had to bother Milly in
the middle of the night to cook one for me.  Milly cheerfully obliged
me, saying that what I craved was easy to deal with unlike some women
she knew had even stranger cravings to satisfy.

New clothing had to be made and adjusted several times to accommodate
my growing girth.  I was quite self-conscious, having to meet the
tailors so often.  Many times, I wondered what they were thinking when
they were busy measuring my belly.  Their stealing glances did not go
unnoticed by me.

Despite what I was going through, I was in higher spirits than before. 
Occasionally, I even found myself giggling and laughing at one of
Estel’s antics or childish tickles whenever he found me brooding too
much.  It reminded me a lot of my merrier times in Imladris, when the
twins used to pounce me from behind and tickled me mercilessly.  I did
not think much about my past anymore and sometimes they seemed so
distant.  I seldom long for them.  I guess I had been away for too long
to care about it anymore.

Several days ago, I was curious about the various noises coming from
the chamber next to mine.  I had asked Estel about this and he told me
that he was getting the entire wing renovated for OUR FUTURE personal
use.  The man’s insistence on this whole madness was really scaring me.

Thanks to whatever gods that had not abandoned me, there still existed
the normal side of Estel – a very caring and loving person.  Every
night before going to sleep, he would make it a habit to place an ear
and a hand over my belly to feel the little fluttering that I had been
complaining about of late.  The healer had informed me that they were
the movements of the baby as it was now fully developed.

The only change that had not happened was my freedom.  I was still kept
locked in the chamber most of the time, and only allowed a brief
respite whenever Estel had the time to accompany me on a short outing. 
I never saw Faramir again and suspected that it was due to Estel being
possessive of me.

* ~ * ~ *

One night, as I had not yet felt sleepy, I had sat by the window to
continue reading.  Estel returned to my chamber (he had officially
moved in) as he had done so every night.  I did not bother to look up
and continued reading.

Suddenly, he came up to me and snatched the book from my hands; threw
it to the floor and then scooped me up into his arms.  I was peeved by
his brusqueness but did not fight him.  For one reason, I was too big
and if I fell onto the hard flagstones, the injuries I received may be
life threatening to both myself and the child.

Estel gently laid me in the centre of the bed and then started to
undress me.  I knew instantly what he had in mind and worked to clamber
away from him.  He was, however, adamant to have his way.  He resorted
to tying my wrists with my silk undershirt to the railings of the
headboard when I proved to be very uncooperative.

For some strange reason, Estel was particularly demanding that night. 
I was feeling quite drained after being ravished once by him but he was
relentless in pursuit for a second round.

I was relieved when a knock on the door drew his focus away from me. 
With a disgruntled demeanor, he quickly put on a silk robe and went to
answer the door; ready to bark at whomever had disrupted his ‘quality’
time with his consort.

The man opened the door slightly not wishing anyone to see his naked
consort all tied up in bed, and angrily greeted the other person
outside the chamber.  I heard a small voice from the other side but not
catching the words.  After a brief exchange of words, Estel closed the
door.  Something must have come up because I saw a frown on his face.

“I have to attend to something.  I’ll be back shortly,” he said
urgently while busy putting on his leggings.  Then he left.

So I was forced to lie in a most embarrassing manner.  It was
uncomfortable because I could not adjust to the more comfortable
position that my stiff and aching body was screaming for.
Not very long afterwards, I heard the door opened again.  My heart rate
quickened and I cursed silently that he had returned so soon.

Unfortunately, something even worse than I had expected appeared.  My
jaw dropped in shocked when I looked up from my restraint to find Queen
Arwen standing against the closed door.  My heart pounded furiously and
I felt prickles of fear all over my skin.  I was frightened of her
because in my vulnerable state, I had no means to protect myself.  I
was like a sacrificial lamb, ready for the slaughter.

Arwen’s eyes never wavered from me.  She continued to stare at me with
her round, blue eyes as she strode purposefully towards me.  Her whole
dress was in dark blue; the silky cloth clung to her shapely body as
she advanced forward like a graceful dancer.  She carried herself
regally, head held up high with a crown of the darkest silky tresses I
had ever seen.

When she was finally standing next to the bed, I could not help but
shift nervously away.

In the most calm and indifferent manner, her eyes roved slowly over my
naked body, taking in the sight and every detail of my profile. 
Needless to say, I was embarrassed beyond words and felt my face burn
hotly.  Her unashamed scrutiny was no different from a man’s and I
could almost see a hint of desire in those eyes.  

Perhaps it was desire for something that her husband had long neglected
to provide or something much more sinister – a desire to see my blood
spilled on the very bed upon which I was lying.

I was becoming agitated while studying her features and trying very
hard not to tremble.  It was unnerving to not know what my enemy was
thinking at that very moment.

“Please,” I managed to speak but my voice sounded cracked as if on the
verge of crying.  Inwardly, I berated myself mercilessly for showing my
fears to her.  “A gentle and delicate creature like you should not
witness such vileness.  I am not worthy to be looked upon by someone of
such high stature as you, My Lady.”  I had no idea what prompted me to
say those words.  I should have either been taunting her with vulgarity
or begging to be spared.  Instead, I had spoken out against myself.

Arwen just stood there and watched me.  Unable to hold my ground, I
averted my eyes to stare at one of the candelabras and counted the
heartbeats of silence between us.

“You’re bleeding, Legolas,” she said finally, acknowledging that she
knew me.

I almost choked aloud, but restrained myself quickly.  However, a
single tear managed to escape and it ran down the side of my face. 
Arwen saw it and wiped it away with a finger.

At long last, this wretched elf was discovered by a kinsman.  I turned
back to look at her.  This time I saw pity gracing her fair face.

“I am not Legolas, My Lady.  Legolas has long since died.  My name is
Fernion, My Lady.”  It was the most painful thing for me to say.  I had
to swallow the painful lump in my throat several times to get rid of
it.

She reached out her long delicate fingers to brush lightly over my
swollen abdomen, her blue eyes stared enraptured.  For a moment, I
feared that she might want to harm the baby inside me.  After all, she
had not hinted as to whether she hated me or felt compassion for me.

“So this is the baby that Aragorn has longed for and has caused so much
trouble to get,” she said softly, as if to herself.

After a long moment, she tore her eyes away and returned to my face. 
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Those two words were my undoing.  I burst out like a ruptured dam, all
the pent up emotions of anger, frustrations, fear, loneliness, sadness
and shame; all gushed out in torrents.  My world was suddenly turned
blurry, and I felt her hands cupping my cheeks in a desperate attempt
to soothe me.

“I’m…….dying, Arwen,” I sobbed.  I knew this to be true.  Somehow I had
always known it.  “You will have him back.  Do not worry about it,” I
added.  “Please, Arwen.  I only ask for one last favour from you.  Will
you grant me this?”

Through my teary eyes, I could see that it took a lot from her to
remain calm and unaffected.  She did not answer me but nodded once.

I had never thought of this possibility until now because I never
counted on anyone being able or willing to help me.

“I will not survive the birthing and the child will be without a loving
soul to care for it.  Please, will you take my child as your own?  The
child does not have to know about me and that should remain so.  Please
Arwen, I have no one to turn to anymore.  As my name clearly states, I
am already dead to my family and friends.  Even the Valar had abandoned
me.”  I tried not to cry anymore.  Holding my breath in apprehension, I
waited for her reply.

Before she could answer however, a sound outside made her turn and
look.  I guess she must have bribed the guards outside to be her
lookouts in case Estel returned.  She quickly got up to leave.

“Please Arwen,” I called out to stop her.  “I beg you.”

Without turning to look at me, she answered me with three words that
gave me the peace of mind and eternally grateful to her.  “I will,
Fernion.”  With that, she was gone.

“Thank you, My Lady,” I whispered.  Closing my eyes, I took a deep
breath.  It was all worth it.  I may not have wanted it to come to this
but I had to accept the fate that was presented to me.  The decision
must be made.

Estel had returned after that, grumbling all the way but had ceased
immediately when he climbed on to the bed and towered above me
leeringly.  That night I no longer cared how Estel used me.  It was a
small price to pay for the life of another.



20.  A Folded Piece Of White Paper

One week had passed since Arwen’s unexpected visit.  Ever since then, I
had been somewhat withdrawn, finding little interest in my
surroundings.  The occasional heartache kept me aware of my impending
doom.  I had perfect knowledge that I would not survive long after what
Estel had done to me, yet I was still surprised that I had been able to
last this far.  That night however, I was sure when I would die.  I did
not know how I knew this, I just know.

Estel and Milly had noticed my melancholy and thought that I was having
one of my moody days.  While Milly had carefully observed my mood in
silence, hovering close by in case I needed her; Estel had tried to
cheer me up with distractions.

A few days later, Estel had rushed into our chamber with a wide smile
and certain eagerness in his movements.  He had announced that he
wanted to show me something that would cheer me up and was about to
blindfold me but I quickly backed away.  The memories of my previous
blindfolded incident had not receded.

Sensing my apprehension, he told me to close my eyes instead and then
led me out of the chamber.  When we finally stopped, I was told to open
my eyes.

To my delighted surprise, I was standing in the newly renovated baby’s
room.  I spun around taking a good look at the beautifully decorated
chamber and committing it to my memory everything that I saw.  This
would probably be the one and only time I would see it.

A baby’s crib, painted gold and silver stood in the middle of the room.
 Little crystal stars hung by silver threads filled the entire ceiling.
 They twinkled like real stars and reflected lights all over the room. 
Sheer and silky cloths of light blue, pink and white draped the windows
and over the crib’s canopy.  While the whole room projected love, it
sadly, resembled very much my prison chamber.

There were shelves and cabinets of pine around the room.  A few stuffed
toys were littered here and there.  A rocking horse stood at one corner
and a rocking chair by the window.  I was impressed that Estel had
taken so much care and attention to detail.  He truly loved the baby
and wanted to make sure that the baby had everything.

Despite my pleasure in seeing the love showered on the baby, I was even
sadder after seeing it.  As I stared at the rocking chair, I imagined
Arwen sitting on it with my baby cradled in her arms while she sang a
song to soothe the baby to sleep.  Then I imagined Arwen kneeling by
the rocking horse as she cheering for the child to go faster.  More
images of her clapping her hands with pride as the baby took his or her
first step.  All these events that I would never see with my own eyes
because I would not be there.

Silent tears trickled down my cheeks.  I had remembered the promise to
which I had made Arwen agree – that the child will never know me.  MY
child would grow up to believe that Arwen was his or her real mother.

A pair of strong arms wound their way around my waist and a broad warm
chest pressed against my back.  I let out a sigh and leaned back
against Estel, feeling a bit drained by the emotion.

“Do you like it, Legolas?” Estel murmured beside my ear.

“Yes, Estel.  I love it.  You have been too kind,” I answered.

“Hey, it’s our baby.  No matter it’s a boy or a girl, I will love it
with all my heart.”  He gave me a light squeeze.

‘With Arwen by your side,’ I thought sadly to myself.

“I have commissioned more rooms to be renovated as the children’s play
room and bedchambers,” he said and he chuckled lightly when I squirmed
in his arms to look at him with dread.  “I’ve told you before Legolas,
that I wanted you to fill my life with your laughter, and our palace
with our children.”

“But…..the people of Gondor…”

“You’re my consort, Legolas.  When the time comes, a formal
announcement will be made.  They will accept it,” Estel said
confidently.

“What about Arwen?  And how will you explain to Lord Elrond?  Not to
mention the entire elven community – they will seek blood from you,
after they found out what you have done to two of their kin.  My father
especially,” I argued.

“Arwen had expressed her wish to sail to Valinor with her father.  As
for the rest of the elven community, they can do nought to interfere,
not even King Thranduil.  I am officially the father of the child and
we were bonded according to tradition and the irreversible ritual of
blood-infusion.  In short, NOTHING can break us up because they must
respect their elven law.”  Estel studied me with his cold grey eyes.

I looked down on the rug that I was standing on, suddenly glad that my
free flowing hair had shielded my sight from everything else around me.
 Estel was right.  There was nothing anyone could do about my fate. 
They must respect the law – a law that had unwittingly worked against
itself and had me trapped with this man for eternity.  I hated the fact
that Estel had cleverly thought of everything.

“You are Legolas Elessar now and will remain so forever.  It’s not use
fighting me, my love.  Just accept it and let me make you happy for all
time.”  Estel drew me into his arms and hugged me tightly without
crushing the baby.

I stood passively for a while, not knowing what to do but eventually
(and reluctantly), I put my arms around him and buried my face onto his
chest.  I was completely lost and helpless to fight him.  My resolve to
escape wavered, doubt setting in my mind as to whether I would elude
his clutches.

“Thank you, Legolas.  Thank you,” he whispered from above my head and
kissed it several times.  “Come, let’s go to the garden.  It’s a lovely
day today.  I know you would enjoy being under Anar again,” he spoke
gaily and released me.  Grabbing one of my hands, he pulled me along
with him out of the chamber.

* ~ * ~ *

Standing by one of the windows, I looked out to admire the magnificent
view outside, though through the bars.  A huge side courtyard lined
with rows of Cyprus trees and hedges filled my line of sight.  Whenever
the wind blew, the trees swayed lazily back and forth.  Just above the
horizon, a row of barely visible blue mountains seemed to be floating
in the air.

Absent-mindedly, my hands rubbed the hard swelling standing prominently
in front of me.  A small kick from inside made me smile.  It still
amazes me how eagerly the baby responded to my touches.

“You’re one excited little one, aren’t you?”  Another kick came as a
response.  My smile grew wider.

A knock on the door interrupted my intimate bonding with the baby.  I
turned around to find Milly entering with my lunch on a large silver
tray.

“It’s nice to see you smiling again, Fernion,” she chirped cheerfully. 
”Just for that, I’ve made you two helpings of the mushroom omelet that
you crave.”  She set down the tray on the Lion’s Paw table.

“Oh, wonderful.  Thank you Milly.  You’re always so kind to me,” I
responded enthusiastically.  Feeling hungry, I sat down immediately and
picked up the cutleries to start attacking my food.

“You deserve it, Fernion.  You’re the best master I have ever served.” 
Milly was somewhat rounded in shape and her light brown hair was tied
into a bun around the nape of her neck.  She was not very old but her
hardship throughout life had shown on her face, marking her.  I liked
her very much from the first day she started ‘looking after’ me because
she had such a bubbly personality.

“Milly, you know I’m not your master,” I said through my half-chewed
food.  It was not proper table manners but I could not help it.  “I’m a
slave here, too.”

An awkward silence followed as she stopped whatever she was doing and
looked at me.  An emotion of pity filled her eyes for the briefest
moment but then she offered a smile and quickly returned to work while
I went back to eating.  She did not have to tell me that many people
knew what happened behind the closed door of my prison chamber.  A
tingle of shame washed over me.

While eating silently, my eyes roamed the tray to see what else Milly
had placed on it.  That was when I saw something strange.  I noticed a
small piece of white paper discreetly tucked beneath white linen.  I
took out the neatly folded paper and looked at it curiously.  I turned
to look at Milly but she was busy changing the sheets on the bed,
oblivious to my sudden interest in her.

With slightly trembling hands and a racing heart, I cautiously opened
the folds.  There were only two lines of small, neatly written words.


~  Dear Fernion,

    Come the full moon, dress warmly.  I shall come to fetch you.  ~


My hands shook even more and I was sure Milly could hear the hard
pounding of my heart even from the bathroom.  Quickly, I hid the paper
between the pages of the book on the table and returned to eating. 
Actually more like trying to force the food down my now constricted
throat.

For the entire day, my mind was occupied by that piece of paper. 
Obviously, it was not from Estel because he did not know of my newly
bestowed name.  Only three people called me by my new name – Faramir,
Arwen and Milly.  I was sure Milly was out of the question because the
words were too neatly written, indicating someone highly educated. That
left Faramir and Arwen.  My only conclusion would have to be Faramir as
I was not sure if Arwen had forgiven me.

The thought of someone coming to save me was too good to be true.  I
could finally get away.  I could roam among the trees and sleep in my
own bed again.

The coming full moon would be in a week’s time.  However, for that
duration, I was constantly nervous and jumpy.  I was continuously
bombarded with bitter sweet emotions.  I was happy that I would finally
be safe with my own kind.  I could not wait to see my ada and brothers
again - but would they shun me for being such a weakling and letting
this happen to me?  What would their reactions be when they saw that
the youngest Prince of Mirkwood had been used like a harlot in the
hands of the King of Gondor and was, on top of that, carrying his
child?

Confused and agitated by the nearing of the full moon, I was awake most
nights; and that Estel was lying beside me only made it worse.  I felt
as if he knew what was going on.  Every time he had his hands around me
when we slept, I would have sworn that his grip around me was tighter
than usual.  Perhaps I was just imagining it?  I just hoped I could
survive to the time of the full moon without having a nervous
breakdown.



21.  Full Moon At Last

Feigning being tired tonight, I had turned in early.  After
extinguishing all the candles, I quickly slipped into bed – already
fully dressed for traveling.  Pulling the covers up to my neck to hide
the clothes, I lay back and tried to calm down my racing heart; and
waited.

The chamber was eerily dim.  Only the light of the full moon lit the
room.  It was also deathly silent except for my own breathing and the
hard thumping of my heart resounding loudly in my ears.  I waited with
trepidation in the darkness, praying hard that Estel would not appear
through the door.  I hoped that whoever was going to rescue me would
have thought about this problem.

It was extremely hot under the covers.  Apart from my own pregnant body
generating too much heat, I was also covered in layers of clothes and
lastly, a hooded cloak.  I could feel perspiration running down my
forehead.

For much part of the day, I had been unable to sit quietly, pacing
around and almost wearing off my shoes.  My whole body was so tightly
strung that I could not relax or even eat more than a few mouthfuls. 
Several times, the baby had actually kicked me, I guess either in
annoyance or simply to give me an unspoken encouragement; I did not
know which.  The anxiety was wearing on me and even during my nap, I
was not able to unwind the knotted muscles in my body.

I had also spent half the day deciding what I needed to bring with me
and what to wear that would give me the best cover without attracting
too much attention.  In the end, there was nothing I could bring with
me except weapons but I was never allowed to be near those.  My option
to wear the colours of Mirkwood was best suited because it would serve
to blend me with the forest.  I also chose a dark coloured cloak with a
hood, as I needed to hide my shiny blond hair, for it was very
distracting to many mortal eyes.

The wait had been agonizingly slow and I had not realized that I was
dozing until suddenly a soft rustling noise jerked me awake.  My heart
pounded fiercely once again while my hands trembled from the
excitement.  There was faint whispering before the door opened slowly. 
I did not attempt to sit up because I did not want to reveal the
clothes I was wearing underneath, in case Estel walked through that
door.

Lights from the corridors flooded into the chamber.  I was so afraid
not knowing who would enter.  There would be no explaining to Estel
were he to see the clothes I was wearing.

To both my relief and apprehension, two dark figures stepped in.  They
were slightly bent, dragging something heavy with them.

“Legolas?” came a soft whispering.  It was melodic and higher pitch,
like the voice of a woman.  The owner of that voice began to tiptoe
towards me while the other crouched down to do something to the long
bundle on the floor.

It took me a few moments to realize and my mouth hung open when I saw
who was standing beside the bed.

“Come, we must go now,” Arwen whispered.  Her eyes darted from me to
the figure still knelt on the floor.  I did not hesitate to obey her.

With a bit of clever maneuvering and her help, I managed to scoot my
heavy body out of bed easily.  When I had walked out of the way, the
other figure stood up and scooped the long bundle from the floor; and
walked towards us.

This time, I saw the face of the other accomplice though I did not know
who he was.  Garbed in the uniform of a palace guard, he was carrying
another palace guard in his arms but the latter was clearly unconscious
– tied up and gagged.  He deposited the motionless body on to the bed
and shoved a pillow underneath his tunic.  Next, he pulled the covers
over his head and adjusted it quickly before nodding with satisfaction.
 It was a clever way to buy us more time before anyone discovered that
the body in bed was not me.

“Let’s go,” Arwen said, making a move towards the door.

Before we stepped out of the chamber, the guard peered outside to make
sure the area was clear.  Meanwhile, Arwen gestured to the hood behind
me and I quickly pulled it over my head, hiding my hair inside.

They ran ahead of me though slowing down slightly for me to catch up,
as I was not used to ‘bouncing’ a heavy weight in front of me, and not
being able to see where my feet stepped.  It was most awkward because I
did not want to trip and fall, causing hurt to both of us.  The
exertion was quite evident because I panted for air a lot.  To add to
the strain, the baby’s occasional anxious kicking made me stop running
mid-way while I tried to soothe it.

Even though the hour was late, there were still a few servants
scurrying about with their last tasks before turning in for the night. 
There were also the palace guards marching down the corridors, making
sure no intruders dared attempt any folly.

Several times, we had to walk pass them because we had no other choice.
 To keep off suspicion, Arwen would walk beside me, hooking an arm to
mine while I lowered my head to use the hood to hide my face.  She
would bend slightly to me, pretending to be engaged in gossip with her
companion.  Her accomplice marched behind us, being the Queen’s guard.

The other guards would give a quick salute to their Queen and then
walked away without a second look at her companion while the servants
curtsied or bowed, also not giving me a second look.  No one would dare
challenge the Queen or wonder why she would be about in the palace at
this time.

There were many turns and long winding passages before arriving to a
smaller and darker corridor.  There were fewer decorations here and it
was barely lit by torches.  It looked as if were quite unused.  We
continued to walk along until finally coming to a stop in front of a
heavy oaken door.  The guard made a quick scan down the lonely passage
before taking the key from a pocket in his tunic to unlock the door. 
The hinges made a loud creaking noise when opened.  I looked around
nervously, afraid that the noise would attract someone and arousing
suspicion.  Luckily, no one approached us.

Some light from the full moon managed to penetrate the drawn curtains,
giving us the advantage to make our way around.  The room was quite
dusty and the furniture was covered with white cloth.  As I did not
know the way, Arwen and the guard had led me until we come to a solid
wall where a huge faded tapestry covered the entire surface.  Arwen did
something behind a bookcase and then I heard a click.  The guard
quickly lifted the bottom of the tapestry and then placed a hand to
push on the wall.  It revealed what had to be a tunnel because
immediately I felt air blowing on my face.  It smelled musty and a
little damp.

While Arwen closed the secret portal behind us, the guard quickly lit a
torch.  With the light from one torch, I was able to see that we were
inside a small tunnel, of sufficient width for two people to walk side
by side and of sufficient height to walk without having to bend while
traveling along its length.

Without a single word, we moved as fast as we could behind the guard
who was holding out the torch to light the way.  Arwen was holding one
of my upper arms to lead me while I placed my other arm around my belly
in a way to comfort the baby.  Occasionally, I glanced at her.  There
were so many questions I wanted to ask - especially why she would help
me to escape.  But right now was not the moment

Suddenly, the guard came to an abrupt stop.  I was both puzzled and
worried that someone had discovered us.  I felt a stronger draft and
the night noises were easily heard.  He extinguished the torch,
plunging us into darkness again.  Before my eyes adjusted to the sudden
changes, I felt two arms leading me forward and then out into the open.

A fresh breeze bombarded my face and I saw stars above me, twinkling
brightly.  Free at last!  My lungs felt like exploding from filling it
with the air of freedom.  It was the sweetest air that I had ever
breathed.

However, the danger was not yet over.  We had to get away from here as
quickly as possible.  We moved stealthily (as much as I could in my
condition) around a large clump of trees and shrubs, towards the sounds
of horses snorting in impatience.

Once going around the trees, I saw another man standing beside four
horses, holding the reins in his hand.  When I got closer, I was
surprised to see that it was Faramir.  He smiled but did not speak. 
Without tarrying, the two men helped me get onto the horse (my dignity
slightly bruised).  After everyone had mounted, we made a move towards
the darker shadows of the forest.

I wanted to ride faster but the bouncing was too much for me, so
everyone slowed down for my sake.  Arwen rode beside me silently, her
eyes training around us every so often.  She was clearly nervous too. 
Faramir was just behind us, guarding the rear for unexpected attacks. 
The guard would occasionally ride out alone and come back later to
report that the way ahead was clear for our passage.

Vulnerability and helplessness was pushing me to the edge.  I was so
tense, so afraid that I could not make it; could not escape from ‘his’
clutches.  It had happened before and I do not wish to face the
punishment again.  Every little sound made me jump, terrified that
Estel and his men had caught up with us.  If it happened, there was
nothing anyone could do because I could not gallop away.

After many hours of riding, I finally conceded to my protesting body. 
My back ached terribly and my shoulders were stiff due to my constant
anxiety.  I also felt extremely sleepy.  I had abused my body to the
breaking point and now I was paying for it.

Bending slightly over to Arwen, I informed her that I needed to rest. 
She nodded and pulled her rein to stop the horse.  Faramir came up to
us immediately, puzzled that we had stopped.

“Something wrong?” he inquired with concern.

“No.  No.  I am just too tired to go on, that’s all,” I explained to
him and made a move to slide off the horse.  Faramir quickly dismounted
his horse and came to my side to help me down.  I thanked him and then
started to do a little exercise to lessen the ache on my back and
letting some circulation return to my already numb buttocks.

“We cannot make a fire tonight.  We are still within Gondor’s border,”
Arwen spoke for the first time.

“That is fine with me, My Lady.  I just needed some rest.  My back is
killing me.”  I began walking around a nearby brush.

“Where are you going?” Faramir called out.

“I need to relieve myself.  The baby pees too, you know,” I answered
back from behind the shrub I had chosen.

“Oh,” said Faramir and if it were not for the shadows, I was sure to
see him blushing furiously.  Then I heard Arwen giggled softly from
beside him.

When the guard finally came back, Faramir informed him that we had to
stop and rest for the night.

“All right but we may have only a few hours rest because we must put as
much distance as possible from Minas Tirith,” the guard cautioned.  I
thanked him for the few precious hours that he could spare.

We looked around and decided a patch of ground where more trees and
bushes could hide us and the horses from view.  The two men took turns
keeping watch.  I did not protest being excluded from watch this time
because I was truly tired and slept as soon as my head rested on a
rolled up undershirt that Faramir had offered me.

* ~ * ~ *

A hand landed on my shoulder woke me with a fright.

“Sshhhh…..It’s only me, Faramir.  We have to prepare to go now,” he
whispered.  I nodded sleepily.

Looking around, I found Arwen bent closely to another man that I did
not recognize.  They were whispering softly of something that seemed
serious.  I squinted my eyes and watched closer.  I saw the resemblance
to the guard who was with us last night.

As if he knew I was staring at him, he turned back to look at me and
smiled.  Then he began to walk towards me while Arwen went to attend to
her horse.  With the full view, I noticed for the first time that he
had long cascading tresses that shone whenever dim lights fell upon it.
 He was also no longer in the palace guard’s uniform but rather in
something that resembled elvish garb.

“I trust that you rested well, Prince Legolas,” he whispered softly. 
His voice sounded strangely melodic.

“Please, call me Fernion.  No titles,” I corrected him.

“Very well, Fernion.  My name is Galadfin.”  My eyes widened in
surprise at that name.  It was elvish.  He smiled at my reaction.  “I
am from Imladris.  I have been a personal bodyguard to Lady Arwen since
the day she arrived in Gondor for her marriage to King Aragorn,” he
continued.

I nodded mutely.  “Thank you for helping me to escape,” I replied.
“No need to thank me.  I have nothing to do with this.  It was Lady
Arwen and Lord Faramir’s idea,” he revealed.

“Are you ready, Fernion?” Faramir interrupted us.  I nodded and went to
my horse.   Again, they helped me to mount the horse and then we were
off.  This time, we all rode side by side.

“Thank you My Lady and Faramir for saving me.  I am deeply grateful to
both of you.”

“Just call me Arwen,” she interjected before Faramir could say
anything.  I nodded.

“With this slow progress, I hope it will not be in vain,” I expressed
my fear.

“Do not worry.  They will not discover your escape until tomorrow,”
Galadfin said in an encouraging tone.

“We have drugged Aragorn and he will not awaken for two days.  By the
time he does, hopefully he would think we would be heading to Imladris
and he would go straight there to intercept us,” Arwen clarified.

“If he does, we will be far away and it would take him days to catch up
with us,” Faramir answered this time.  Again, I nodded in
understanding.  Silently, I prayed that their plan would work; Estel
was not a man who could be fooled easily.

“Our goal is to reach Lothlorien and seek sanctuary from Lord Celeborn
and Lady Galadriel.  Once out of Gondor’s border, we will travel just
at the edge of Rohan to Lorien.  We cannot trust the Roharrim because
they may send a message to Gondor and inform them of our destination,”
Arwen explained the details of their escape plans.  “In your condition,
speed is not our option.  We will use the shadows of the deep forest to
hide us while traveling during the day time.  We will not stop unless
necessary.”

“Why not head straight to Mirkwood?”  I was eager to return home.

“We do not have the luxury to do so.  By the time we past Lorien,
Aragorn would have caught up with us.  Then we will not be able to
escape,” Galadfin explained.

I heaved a deep sigh.  Looks like I would not be able to see my family
yet.  However, I would get to see Lothlorien for the first time and to
see Haldir again.

Suddenly, without a word, Galadfin rode ahead to scout for clear
passage for us.

“Arwen, is Haldir …..?”  I was unsure which word to say – all right or
alive?

“Honestly, I do not know, Fernion.  I was already on my way out of
Lothlorien when the news came of your apparent disappearance.  By the
time I arrived in Gondor, Aragorn had left for Imladris to help in the
search for you.  Then I was informed of your demise.  I immediately
prepared to leave Gondor again to attend your funeral in Mirkwood but
certain gossip that I could not overlook made me stay back for a few
days longer to straighten it out.”  Arwen did not look at me but stared
straight ahead.

I knew to what she was referring.

“I’m sorry that I acted hastily, Fernion.  It was inappropriate of me,”
Arwen apologized and this time, she looked at me.  Sadness loomed in
her face.  “Will you forgive me?”

Unconsciously, I let out a deep breath.  It was not her apologies that
I seek but her understanding of my predicament.  Even though she did
not voice out that she would accept what had happened, at least she
acknowledged the issue.

“You did not know Arwen.  There is nothing for me to forgive.  It is
Estel who should be sorry,” I said.  The damage was done and the three
of us had to suffer for it.  Not only that, Faramir had to be dragged
into this mess.  Now this problem had gotten bigger.  By helping me,
Faramir would have to abandon his brother in Minas Tirith and suffer
the consequences of never returning to Gondor in his lifetime.

An awkward silence came between us.  When the first light of the day
crept slowly over the horizon, we all watched enraptured by the beauty
of it.

I had not seen a sunrise for many months and had missed it dearly.  I
loved to watch as the huge, red orb began rising and sending many
colours through the broken clouds to fill the sky.  At the same time,
the sky itself began to change colours from dark blue to red and then
pink before finally settling for light blue again.  Never was a day
that was the same and that was the fascinating part of it.

During our journey, I found out many things from my saviors.  After the
arguments with Aragorn, Arwen had shut herself away from everyone else.
 I could understand that as a lover and a mate, she was deeply hurt by
the news.  It was Faramir who went to clear the misunderstanding and
told her the truth.

Arwen had then made a decision to visit me that night, to see for
herself the truth that she was still denying.  At first, she had
admitted that she wanted to stay back in Gondor and raise my child. 
The offer was too tempting because she would get her husband back and
get a child to raise as her own.  Everything would be back to normal
again.

However, she later changed her mind and decided to leave Middle Earth
for Valinor.  There was nothing left for her here.  The noble person
that she was, she could not live with the guilt of keeping this secret
from everyone, especially her father and brothers.  She would not be
able to look them in the eyes and lie forever.  She did not want to lie
for Aragorn – her mate that had betrayed her trust and love.

I had also learned from Faramir that Aragorn had confronted him in a
somewhat aggressive manner.  That was the Estel that I knew too well –
the need to establish his territory and defend his ownership.  Luckily,
Boromir was around to placate the matter from becoming worse.  After I
had explained the situation, at least Estel had the decency to
apologize to Faramir for his rash behaviour.

Now my heart was anxious to know the news of my family and everyone
else.  I wanted to know if they were safe.  I could imagine how much
grief they must have gone through from my death.  I only hoped ada
would not fade away because of me.  He had already suffered a great
blow when my nana had died.

For the entire length of our journey, Galadfin had been our scout and
hunter.  He would return to us with game that he had captured or fruits
that he had collected.  Arwen had stayed close by me all the time,
giving massages to relieve my backache and helped with leg cramps that
I had been suffering.  The journey had been a little strenuous for me
but I did not complain.  As for Faramir, he had stayed back to watch
over us as well, making himself useful with anything that Arwen and I
might need.

I longed for the day to come when we finally arrive at Lorien.  I was
still concerned that Estel would catch up to us any day.  I could
imagine the look on his face when he discovered the guard in my bed.  I
did not want to know what form of punishment he would devise for us if
we were caught.

At least this one thought had pushed me to bear all the suffering right
now.  It was nothing compared to being in prison for eternity.


22.  Seeking Sanctuary

We had been traveling for many days without proper rest and it was
taking a toll on everyone.  It was evident that all of us were
exhausted and patience was wearing thin.  Rests had been kept to
necessity because we were anxious to put as much distance between our
pursuers as possible.

The relentless physical exertion was eating into me.  It was much more
arduous because my belly was growing heavy, making me weary from the
extra weight and strain that I had to put up with.  I often found
myself shifting my backside because it easily became numb during the
long ride.

For the past few days, I had kept mostly to myself being not in the
slightest mood to talk to anyone.  Once in a while, I had cried myself
to sleep, being sick and tired of the whole thing and wanting to be
home in Mirkwood immediately so that I could be surrounded by the love
and care of my family again.  Depression was setting in on me again
like a bad dream.

My backache and heartburn had increased lately, causing more distress
to my already frayed nerves.  At one point, I was almost ready to give
up and let Estel take me back to Gondor.  I was so disheartened that I
would not make it now that we had come this far.  I just wanted to curl
up and sleep for days, completely ignoring the danger and urgency.  Let
fate take its own hand at me.

These were the moments when I felt guilty for letting the others down
and was even more desponded that everything went so wrong.  The others
had noticed my mood changes and had tried really hard to be patient
with me.

Faramir was forever hovering near me like a mother hen, keeping a close
eye on me in case I needed him.  I could see the man was tired from the
redness in his eyes due to lack of sleep.  However, he irritated me by
watching me like a hawk.  I did not need anyone to baby-sit me.  I was
ancient enough compared to him.

Right after a quick and quiet breakfast this morning, we headed out
again.  No one spoke and each was lost in his or her own thoughts. 
Only Galadfin was dutifully keeping a look out for the group.  He, too,
was silent, speaking only when needed but he never neglected his duty,
always keeping his senses on alert.  He disappeared a lot, scouting
around for a safe passage for us.  It was the one act that had earned
my eternal gratitude.

Four days ago, we had left Rohan behind us.  Galadfin had cautiously
steered us around the border without attracting any attention from the
Rohirrim. It was nerve wracking when we sneaked through the shadowy
part of the forest because the border patrollers were vigilant and
careful.  None of us dared to even breathe, afraid that they could hear
us.  Being an elf and used to the fact that elves had such keen
hearing, I absentmindedly believed that these men could hear us too.

Galadfin had left us again and came back moments later with a smile on
his face.  I was puzzled but patiently waited for him to tell us why.

“I have good news.  With our current pace, we should reach Lorien in a
day’s time,” he announced.  All of us beamed happily.  It was the first
and only good news we had been hoping to hear.  My mood lifted
immediately.

“Well, what are we waiting for?  Let’s get going,” I said excitedly,
urging my horse to trot a little faster.  Beside me, I saw Faramir
smiling.  The man looked terrible – haggard and weary.  Short hair had
begun to grow in a mess around his lower face, making him look older.

With good mood, all of us began chattering at once.  Both Faramir and I
kept asking Arwen many questions about the Golden Wood and she was
happy to talk about it.  We were all excited to get there.

Faramir was excited because he would be seeing an elven realm for the
first time while I would see Lothlorien finally and hopefully, Haldir
too (if he were still alive).  Arwen and Galadfin were simply happy to
be home again.

Suddenly, a noise behind us made us turn to look.  Holding our breaths,
we hoped it would be Galadfin though it was strange because normally,
he would be quiet.  As it turned out to our relief, it was him but this
time there was a sense of urgency etched on his face.

“We must ride swiftly to Lorien.  I saw a group of ten men heading this
way, just several leagues away.  Fast.  They look like men from
Gondor,” he reported.  There was no mistaking the worry in his tone.

My heart dropped into an abyss when I heard it.  Estel was finally
catching up to us, just when we were so close.  It hurt to think that
we had suffered so much and now it was going to be over.

“We must go now,” Arwen ordered in a firm tone, drawing me out from my
shock.  We obeyed without hesitation.

The jolting added more strain to my back.  Despite the pain in my
belly, I gritted my teeth and rode faster.  I had to do it.  It was to
suffer this or be back in Estel’s grasp.  Clearly, I did not have any
choice.

My mind was screaming in panic now.  I had many visions of what could
happen if Estel caught up to us.  No, I could not deal with it anymore.
 From the corner of my eyes, I saw Galadfin riding closely beside
Faramir and he was bending over to him, saying something in a hushed
tone.  I looked at them and frowned, wondering what they were
discussing.

Faramir’s face became serious and then, his mouth hung open.  “No,
Galadfin,” he gasped.

“I must do this, Faramir.  It is the only way.  Go,” the elf warrior
said, leaving no room for discussion.  Without so much as a glance to
us, he turned his horse around and headed back from where we came.

“Galadfin!”  Arwen called out, panicking and confused.

“What is he doing, Faramir?” I almost shouted at him.

“Trust him,” the man just answered but he did not sound very sure
himself.  “Let’s go.  We do not have time,” he prodded.  Taking one
last look behind us, we rode on ahead.

I looked at Arwen.  She was on the verge of crying.  We knew.  We both
knew what Galadfin had in mind.  He was going to sacrifice himself to
delay the men so that we could have more time to escape.  How could a
lone elf go against ten men?  That was when I realised why Galadfin
refused to look at us or even saying a word to us before he left.  He
knew it too.

Determined not to waste Galadfin’s sacrifice, I gnashed my teeth till
they ache and spurred the horse to go faster.  At this new pace, I was
sure that we could cut down the distance quickly and hopefully, we
would reach Lorien by tonight.

We had ridden for several hours and still had seen no signs of Galadfin
returning to us.  Ever so often, I glanced at Arwen’s tear streaked
face and then Faramir’s.  His eyes showed profound sadness.  No one
spoke.  We were too engrossed in our misery.  It was my entire fault. 
If I could ride faster, we would have reached safety days ago.  If they
had not decided to rescue me, this would not had happened.  So many
ifs.

I prayed in my heart for Galadfin’s valiant deeds.  I hope Mandos would
place him among the brave warriors in his hall.

How I hated Estel.  If he killed that elf, I swore I would break his
neck with my own hands.  I was so consumed by anger that a sudden kick
in my belly reminded me that I was not alone.  I reached a hand and
rubbed around the taut skin, soothing the baby inside.

Soon, the horses were breathing too harshly.  We had driven them too
hard and they were tiring.  We had no choice but to slow down.  If we
pushed them further, they would die of exhaustion.  We had been at a
disadvantage because we could not change for fresh horses while passing
through Rohan as Estel could.

For the hundredth times, I glanced backward and scanned the area for
any signs of Galadfin.  I could hope but I knew it within my heart that
he was lost to us.  The forest’s shadows were disappearing, replaced by
dimness as the sun sank slowly down the horizon.  Darkness was slowly
creeping around us.

Suddenly, both Arwen and I looked at each other.  I could see it in her
face that we were thinking the same thing.  Then both of us looked
back, ears strained.

“What is it?”  Faramir broke the silence, his gaze followed ours.  We
were all nervous.

“Estel.  He’s coming,” I answered, announcing our doom.  Sick images
ran in my head – Faramir would be executed on the spot for treason,
probably his head would be brought back to Gondor for display; Arwen,
who knows what Estel would do to her; and me, sadistic punishment
awaited me.  Although Estel would surely not harm me while I was still
with child, after the birth – I shuddered to think of it.

In our flight for safety, minds occupied by fear, none of us heard the
steady flow of the river Nimrodel.  It was when we were quite close to
it that we realised that we were almost near the border of the Golden
Wood, our sanctuary.

There was no mistaking the sound of hoofs thundering from behind us. 
Even Faramir heard it.  It was now or never.  Taking a deep breath, I
leaned forward slightly and spurred the horse to gallop.  Thank the
lucky stars, my horse obeyed.

Arwen was riding slightly ahead of me while Faramir stayed behind us. 
Probably he wanted to protect us as well as making sure we get to
Lothlorien.  My heart ached to think that Faramir would be the next
warrior to fall for our sakes.

The pain in my belly was torturous.  The baby was probably bouncing
violently inside me right now.  I hoped my selfish decision would not
injure the child or maybe kill it in the process.  I kept one hand at
the bottom of my protruded abdomen and tried to hold as tightly as I
could go, to lessen the jolting.  Tears were already streaming down my
cheeks brought on by fear, panic and pain.

Suddenly, we heard loud crashing sounds from behind.  Arwen looked back
instinctively but I did not.  I was too afraid to see Estel’s face. 
Immediately, she pulled her horse next to mine, to flank me.  Faramir
still stayed behind us.

“I want them alive!” I heard Estel’s commanding voice, booming loudly
in the dark forest.

The men behind us began to ride out in a semi-circle, trying to
surround us.  I spared a quick glance around me and found Estel riding
not far behind Faramir.  There was a grim determination on his face. 
However, it was his eyes that sent a chill down my spine.  The look was
somewhere between malicious and predatory.

I remembered Galadfin told us that there were ten men and now I only
counted six.  He had managed to take four men with him before being
killed.

From the corners of my eyes, I noticed the first rider from each side
began to ride right into our path and slowing.  The others were moving
closer to us now, flanking us  - herding us into a tight group.

I guess Faramir had drawn his sword because I heard sword fights behind
me.  Arwen had drawn her sword too and was fighting off the men from
her side.  I wish I could draw the sword that was given to me by
Galadfin days ago but I could not fight while steering the horse and
holding my belly in my hand.

“Stop now, Legolas.  There’s no escape.  Come back with me.  I promise
not to harm you or anyone,” Estel called out to me.  “Galadfin is still
alive, you know.”

For a moment, my racing heart was relieved to hear that Galadfin was
alive but I could not trust Estel.  He may have been lying.  He had
done so and why should I start believing him now.  Without answering
him, I decided on the only tactic I could think of at that moment.

Pulling up my left leg, I gave a hard kick to the hip of the man riding
beside me.  He grunted and steered his horse away reflexively.  It was
the opening I was hoping he would give me.  I urged my tiring horse out
of the group and headed straight for the river just ahead of me.

However I overlooked one problem.  I had not counted that the horse
would collapse mid-way from sheer exhaustion; its front legs knelt down
and began sliding a bit before its rear tumbled forward.  I was
surprised to find myself flung from its back and sailing through the
night air.

I squeezed my eyes shut unknowingly while instinctively wrapping my
arms around my belly for protection and waited for the impact on the
hard ground.

“Legolas!”  I heard terrified voices screaming my name.

The bone shattering impact never happened.  Instead, I hit something
soft that swiftly swallowed me whole.  When the cold water encased me
entirely did I realise that I had fell into Nimrodel.  Without
thinking, I gasped at the suddenness and swallowed some water.

In my blind panic, I tried to cough, only to find myself swallowing
more water.  I flailed my hands frantically to try to swim to the
surface.  However, in the dark, I could not see where was the surface. 
I was drowning.

Just when I was loosing consciousness, I felt a pair of hands under my
arms pulling me.  I did not know what happened next.


~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~


23.  The Truth About Fernion (Part 1)

‘Pines – Cedars - Flowers – Sweet – Refreshing – Gentle – Soft.’  These
were the words that came into my mind.  I have no idea why but I
thought I smelled and felt them – inside me and on my skin.  Somehow
all these gave me a sense of being safe and loved.  It made me tingle
all over with warmth.

A gentle breeze brushed against my cheeks.  It was too tempting.  I had
to open my eyes to let them be bathed in the sensations of glorious
beauty that had been forming in my mind.  Perhaps this was not a dream
but something real for once.  Maybe this time I could actually touch
these things instead of finding that they were a figment of my
imagination.  Dared I hope that my senses were not playing tricks on
me?

The first sight that greeted me was the ceiling above me.  It was made
of tendrils of slim light-brown rods, interlaced in a complex design. 
I had not realised that I was holding my breath until I exhaled
unconsciously, relieved that I was not looking at a blue ceiling with
white clouds painted on it that had graced my prison cell. The walls
were made of light cedar woods that gave off a hint of its fragrance.

I felt more breezes coming from my right and turned my head towards it.
 There was an open window with sunshine streaming through brightly. 
Shiny blue silk curtains flapped gently.

Sheer bliss to my soul.  Peace at last.  It was absolute paradise. 
Lord Mandos has been extremely kind and generous to allow a wretched
wood elf like me to dwell in such luxury.

Looking down to my flat chest, I found my belly still swollen.  I
sighed.  It seemed that I had brought my unborn child with me.  Did
Lord Mandos intend for me to stay pregnant for all eternity?  I wished
he wouldn’t.  I would not know how to explain to grandfather Oropher
when he saw me.  I would have to look for Lord Mandos and talk to him
about this.

Sitting up was quite an issue when one was pregnant.  I had to tuck my
elbows back and use them to push my upper body up.  That was when I
felt a light tug on my left hand.  I looked down to find a slim and
pale hand laying on top of mine.  It was a delicate hand yet it was
also clearly male.  The long, thin fingers were laced with mine,
grasping them lightly as if holding me to make sure that I did not
leave.
Had grandfather Oropher found me already?  But how did he know that I
was here and how did he recognize me?  What was his first thought when
he saw my swollen body?

I looked at the figure seated beside me.  He had laid half his body
slumped onto my bed, forehead resting against a folded arm so I could
not see his face.  The elf was sound asleep.

His tunic was the colour of blue, reminding me of the sky while his
leggings were dark grey like the clouds when it was about to rain
heavily.  His long silver hair was fanned out on the bed but no braids
adorned it.  Tentatively, I reached out to touch the tresses.  It felt
so soft and silky.  Reminded me of my friend, Haldir.

I had never seen my grandfather before.  There were never any portrait
of him hung in the palace.  I wondered what he looked like.  Without
any fear, I eased myself to sit up and continued to stare at the
peaceful being beside me.  I did not even try to pull my hand away.

He must have felt my eyes on him because he began to stir.  There was a
quiet muffled grunt before the figure sat up.  My mouth hung open in
shock.  My eyes must have been playing tricks on me.

“Legolas?”  That was the first thing he said.  His voice was still the
same.
“Hal….Haldir?”  I stammered.  “You’re …here?”

‘Ai, Valar.  This was most unexpected.  I did not know whether to feel
happy that I had a friend here to accompany me or to be sad and angry
because Estel had sent him here before his time.  Estel, you murderer!’

“Yes, Legolas.  I am here,” he beamed happily and squeezed my hand
reassuringly.

‘How could he be so happy in Mandos?’

“How do you feel now?”  A concern frown marred his perfect feature.  I
noticed his hand did not leave mine.

“Shocked but otherwise, fine.  How long have you been here?”  I looked
at him, trying to find any sign that this elf sitting in front of me
was really Haldir.

“Since last night when you were brought in.  We were all so worried
about you,” he answered.  “I was so afraid to have lost you again.”

“Last night?  We?”  I was confused.  Did he mean the twins are here
too?  Ai, Elbereth, I hope not.

“Yes, you nearly drowned in the river.  Luckily, Orophin was on patrol
nearby and he managed to save you,” he explained but his expression had
turned to one of confusion.  “Legolas, are you all right?  You’re
suddenly pale.”

“Where am I?” I asked, a bit panicky.

“In Lothlorien,” he said as his head cocked to one side.  “Don’t you
remember?”

“Ai, Haldir!” I exclaimed and grabbed him into a tight embrace.  The
elf was stunned for a moment but he returned my hug just as fiercely
afterwards.  Tears of joy was streaming down my face, knowing that
Haldir was alive and well, and that I had reached Lothlorien after all.
 “I thought….. I thought ….. you ….. were dead …. and …. and …. I was
…. dead …. and …. and …. you ….. were …. here with …. me ….. Mandos’s
…. realm,” I tried to speak in my sobs.

“Ssshhhh……Legolas,” Haldir tried to calm me.  He got up from his chair
to sit on the bed, using his body to fully encase me in his embrace. “I
am here.  I’m not dead and neither are you,” he whispered while rubbing
his hand up and down my back.

After some time, I was able to compose myself and broke the cuddle to
look at him again.  I could not believe that Haldir was truly alive and
sitting next to me.  Like a child, I reached to touch his face albeit a
bit hesitantly.  When my fingers felt the warm and soft cheek, only
then did I believed it.  I cried again unashamedly and hugged him for
the second time.  It was good to see him again.  Maybe at last he could
protect me from Estel.

“Don’t leave me, Haldir.  Please don’t leave me,” I pleaded
desperately.  My voice was muffled because my face was buried in the
crook of his neck.

His hand continued to rub my back soothingly and he had begun rocking
back and forth as if comforting a young child.  “I will not leave you,
Legolas.  I promise.”  He kissed my forehead several times.

The sensations of solace and the feeling of security soon lulled me to
sleep.

* ~ * ~ *

An hour had probably passed or may be even more, I was not sure.  I
only knew that when I drifted towards consciousness, I was propped
against something soft and warm.  Snuggling closer, I sighed contently
until…….

To my embarrassment, I had found myself seated between Haldir’s spread
legs.  My full weight was leaning against his torso while both my legs
were draped over his left thigh.  Haldir had wrapped both arms around
me protectively.  The regular rhythm of his breathing indicated that he
was asleep.  He was probably exhausted, having looked after me
throughout the night.

Before my innocence was so cruelly ripped away, I would not have
identified my position at the moment as having any inkling to any
sexual intimacy.  Unfortunately, my mind and body were severely
corrupted.  I could no longer go near anyone without thoughts of
vileness attached.  Luckily my body did not respond to his close
proximity but I could not help the unwanted awkward thoughts slipping
into my mind.

However, strange as it may seem, I did not shy away from the close
physical contact to Haldir.  Somehow, being close to him and even
letting him touch me actually reassured me.  I trusted the elf with my
life and had no qualms that he would not hurt me.  Though, I also
trusted Faramir with my life and yet I could not establish that level
of physical trust.

Then a realization dawned on me – Haldir’s lover.  He had never
mentioned anyone before but surely, as proud and handsome elf as Haldir
would be attached to someone by now.  I did not wish to cause any
troubles should she see us in such a compromising position.  Haldir had
been too kind to me and it would not be fair to him that I ruin his
relationship.  His friendship was very important to me and I would not
risk loosing it.

A tiny kick from inside my abdomen startled me.  I laid a hand over it
and rubbed gently, glad that the baby seemed fine.  I felt slightly
guilty for not taking note the first moment I woke up to see if the
baby was all right.  As cautiously as I could, I began to untangle
myself from Haldir before anyone saw us.  Nevertheless being a trained
warrior, the slightest of movements woke him.  His immediate action was
to check on me. 

“How did you sleep?” he asked with a smile.

“Well,” I answered, returning his smile.  There was a moment of awkward
silence as neither of us made a move until a soft knock on the door
startled us.

“I’ll get it,” Haldir offered and I shifted quickly to let him get off
the bed.

When the door opened, Arwen stepped in carrying a large tray of food
and beverages.  A solemn looking elf in heavy robes the colour of
cream, followed from behind.  I wondered who he was.

“Good to see that both of you are awake,” Arwen chirped happily.  “How
are you doing, Fernion?”  She seemed all bubbly, as if nothing out of
the ordinary had happened.

Haldir stiffened at the mention of that name and looked at me
quizzically.

“Fernion will explain to you later, Haldir,” Arwen said seeing the look
on her friend’s face.  “Right now, the healer must attend to him.  If
you don’t mind giving Fernion a moment of privacy?”  Again, I was
amazed how she could calmly act as if everything was fine – that my
pregnancy was the most natural thing in Arda.

The said elf nodded silently and left.  Immediately, I felt lost and
alone.  I just needed him to be close by to reassure me.

“Now, Fernion, could you please lie down while I examine you?” the
healer spoke in an assuring tone.  “Lady Arwen will be here with you,
so you do not have to worry about anything,” he added with a genuine
smile.

I nodded dumbly and began to shift to lie down.  I felt my face burning
hotly when the healer looked at my huge belly.  He glanced at me and
smiled again before proceeding to lift my undershirt up to my chest. 
His expression was completely neutral while he pressed his hands at
various spots on my body.

When I wriggled uncomfortably, Arwen knelt beside the bed and held my
hand, squeezing it once in a while to encourage me.  I gave her a smile
of gratitude for her consideration.  It was good to feel people caring
for me sincerely.  To take my mind off of what was going on, I
concentrated on staring at his neatly tied back hair.  If the healer
had not smiled before, I would have thought that he was a most serious
elf.

The healer examined me quickly and tried his very best not to embarrass
me in any way.  I was grateful for that and thanked him when he left,
pleased that both of us were fine.

Moments later, Haldir returned.  He seemed refreshed and almost
energetic.

“Now I want you two to eat your lunch.  Lord Celeborn and Lady
Galadriel will be here in a few hours to see you.  Faramir and I will
be here too,” Arwen informed us.  I almost grinned to find her fussing
so much like a mother.   I had never seen her like that before, not
even while we were running away to Lothlorien.

After she had left, I approached Haldir.  “Is she always like that?” I
asked, amused.

“Only when her mood strikes,” Haldir shrugged.  He went over to the
table and carried the tray to the bed.  When I saw the mushroom omelet,
I felt extremely hungry.  It had been days since we all had eaten a
proper meal.  I wondered who had informed the cooks.  I suspected it
was Faramir because it was so much like him to be so thorough.

Haldir made a face when I began eating the omelet just as I had done so
many months ago before I was pregnant.  I laughed.  “Cravings,” I
informed him.  He sat down in front of me and began to eat the cut
fruits on his plate.

There was a brief silence while we ate before Haldir finally spoke. 
“Why did you use that name?”

“I will let you know when the Lord and Lady of the Golden Wood are
here.”  Haldir nodded and did not press the issue any further.

“Haldir, how are my ada and brothers?” I was now eager to know news of
my family.

“They are fine, Legolas.”  Haldir gazed at me, a pained look in his
eyes.

“I would prefer Fernion,” I stated softly.  Haldir sighed sadly.

“I’m sorry, Legolas.  I cannot accept that.  You will always be Legolas
to me, no matter what.”  He was clearly not happy to call me by my new
name.  Haldir was a stubborn elf and nothing could change his mind if
he had already made up his mind.

“That fateful morning when we woke up, we had not yet realized you were
missing.  We thought that you had gone to relieve yourself.  But when
Morethir apologized to us for falling asleep when he was supposed to be
on guard duty, we felt something was wrong.  Elves do not just simply
fall asleep.  We started to spread out to look for you but could not
find you.  We did however find faint traces of men who had been nearby.
 With nothing else to go on, we were forced to return to Imladris. 
When Lord Elrond heard of your kidnapping, he was almost hysterical.” 
Haldir snorted at the mention of that.

The thought of the ever calm and legendary Lord Elrond loosing his
mind, pacing up and down nervously and yelling at everyone within sight
tickled me, but I did not laugh.  I could understand because he was,
after all, a parent and I was like a son to him.  Not only that, he had
been fully responsible for me when he had allowed me to travel to
Lothlorien.  How could he face my ada should anything have happened to
me?  Actually I did not know how he managed to face my ada when I was
officially declared dead.

“Your ada was very devastated when he received the news that you were
missing.  Your brothers were ready to deploy every able-bodied elf in
Mirkwood to search for you.  In fact, the entire elven realm joined in
the search.  A missing prince is nothing to be taken lightly.  We even
sent an epistle to Aragorn to recruit his help in this matter.”

“But he was the betrayer all along,” I added in monotone.

For the first time since waking up in Lorien, I saw Haldir looking at
my swollen belly without pretending that it was not there.  There was
anger burning in his eyes – deadly anger.

“How could he do this?” he spoke calmly, his eyes not budging.

“I do not know Haldir,” I answered in a cracking voice.  Tears were
threatening to spill again but I blinked them back, unwilling to shed
another tear out of self-pity.  “Did my ada believe that I was dead?”

Haldir shook out of his reverie.  “No.  He refused to believe it when
Aragorn told us that we were too late.  He told us that they found the
kidnappers – or what’s left of them.  He said that there was nothing
left to salvage because your group was ambushed by wargs.  He even
showed us torn pieces of your clothes stained with your blood.  We were
all grieving and easily accepted the lies that he fed us.  Why would we
have suspected anything when one of Lord Elrond’s own children was
bound to him?  But your ada stubbornly refused to believe it.  He even
refused to attend to your funeral.  It hurt your brothers very much –
and the twins too.”  Haldir suddenly bored his eyes straight into mine.
 “I was especially shattered because I had failed to protect you.”

“No, Haldir.  You did not fail me.  None of us could have known that
the one we trusted like a member of the family could betray us.  It is
not your fault,” I tried to pacify his guilt.

“I failed you Legolas,” Haldir raised his voice unexpectedly.  “Look
what happened to you.”  His voice was laced with disgust and
helplessness.

His words shamed me to the core.  I knew this would happen; had
expected that they would be repulsed to see my body but it still hurt
to hear it.  Calmly, I placed the fork that I had been holding down on
to the tray and backed away further on the bed.

I was a revolting creature – tainted and ugly.  The Valar had every
right to abandon and deny me entrance into the sacred halls for I was
not worthy of such privilege.  The dirt I carried would remain inside
me forever.  I had earned my present name with every right.  Estel was
correct again.  Only he loved me and cared for me.  I should not have
run away in the first place.  I should have remained there. 
Eventually, I would learn to love that man.  After all, forever was a
very long time.
  
“Legolas?  I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean it that way,” Haldir pleaded.  He
approached me and tried to take my hands but I pushed him away.
“Don’t touch me, Haldir.  I am unclean,” I said calmly even though
inside, my heart hurt bitterly as if someone had plunged a knife into
it.  “I’m……a monster,” I whispered.  I had meant to let only myself
hear it but obviously, Haldir heard it too.

“No, you’re not!” he yelled.  I winced.  Ever since Estel had
successfully broken me, I had phobias of angry tones that were targeted
at me.

I wanted so badly to fold my legs up to my chest but could not. 
Instead, I pulled further away from him.  However, Haldir would not let
me.  He circled his hands around my chest and pulled me between his
legs and against his body.  I struggled in his embrace, determined to
get away but he would not relent his hold.

“Let me go!” I squeaked and fought harder.

“No.  Never!” he replied in a strained voice while trying not to let me
escape from him.

Finally defeated by stronger arms, I stopped fighting him.  I panted
from the exertion but it soon turned to choked sobs.  I could not
control the tears and pain in my heart anymore.  I cried loudly,
pouring all my emotions.

“Let it out, Legolas.  Don’t keep it.  I love you.  Everyone loves
you,” Haldir whispered hoarsely from behind me.  I guess he was crying
too.  “I swear I will protect you from now on.  I will never let you
out of my sight,” he struggled to say.


25.  Innocence

“Am I doing better?” Haldir looked up from his task.

“Hhhmmm…..yes,” I purred in contentment.  “Though could you be more gentle at
that spot?”

“I hurt you again, didn’t I?”  It was more a statement than a question.  “I’m
sorry,” he murmured and smiled apologetically.

“Don’t worry, Haldir,” I tried to reassure my friend, patting the top of his
hand gently.  “It’s only your first time.”  He smiled shyly now.

After adding a bit of fragrant oil on the palm of his hand, he placed both
hands on my exposed left thigh.  Haldir frowned slightly in concentration to
his ‘handiwork’.  I was without leggings and only a white towel covered my most
intimate region and around my buttocks.  When he started to massage the pale,
soft flesh, it felt so good and the tight muscles began to relax.  I was
enjoying his ministrations.

“You have wonderful hands, Haldir.  I would travel from Mirkwood to Lorien
always just for this,” I smirked.

Each time I looked at Haldir, I would find him blushing lightly.  I hated to
say it but he looked adorable in that condition.  The elf was simply not used
to this and I was encouraging him unabashedly.  This was because I had
experienced it enough times not to be bothered by it.

However, I still wondered why I got Haldir to do this.  He was reluctant at
first but I begged him that I needed it really badly; only then did he agree.

“Haldir, could you move a bit higher?”  I pointed to the spot just under the
edge of the towel and shifted slightly to let him have better access. 
“Aaahhh…yes,” I simply sighed in pleasure under the strong warm hands.  “More
please and you can be harder this time.”

Did I just flirt innocently with Haldir?  Probably not, but why was I acting
this way?

“I am your slave to please your every whim, master,” Haldir teased.  I
sniggered.

Suddenly, the door to my talan burst open as if a huge gust of wind had just
knocked it down.  Both of us were startled out of our skin.  Haldir who was
perched too close to the edge of the bed fell backwards and landed on his
buttocks with a dull thud in a most undignified manner.  I grimaced at the
impact while Haldir groaned in pain on the floor.

“Just what do you think you’re doing, Haldir?” Arwen scolded with hands on her
hips.  Was that protectiveness or jealousy I heard in her tone of voice?

“Are you all right?” I ignored Arwen and leaned to look over the bed.  Haldir
nodded and began picking himself up.  His face had turned a shade of red from
the embarrassing incident.

“Shame on you, Haldir!” she fumed again.  Both of us looked up to meet a very
angry Arwen, confused by her accusations.  “How could you work your ways on
Legolas like that?”

The elf sat on the bed gingerly, rubbing his backside but continued staring at
her in dismay.  I turned to look at Haldir, hoping to see if my friend
understood what she meant but realization dawned on me and made me burst out
laughing uncontrollably.  I had to clutch my belly, unable to stop the
hysterics and tried very hard to breathe so that I would not suffocate the baby
and myself.

Now, both my friends watched me with confusion, frozen in their spots.

In a most unbecoming manner of me, I fell back on the mattress and laughed even
louder, kicking my legs in the air.  I had completely forgotten that I only had
a towel around me.  Arwen turned away quickly with a squeak while Haldir picked
up the towel and covered me, salvaging my dignity.

“It’s….not…wh..what..you..think!” I tried to speak between unstoppable laughs
to rescue the marchwarden.  “He…was..not…not…seducing…me! He was..only
helping…me to relieve…my leg cramps!” I chortled even louder.  My sides were
aching terribly and tears were streaming down my face.  “Mercy!” I yelled so
that at least one of them would help me stop this madness.

Of course, neither of them did.  All of us were equally embarrassed by the
revelation and none made a move to recover his or her own honour - not even me.

By the time I managed to calm down, Haldir had already fetched a smaller towel
for me to wipe my face.  Then I quickly pulled the blanket to cover my
provocative state in case I embarrassed myself again.

Arwen made a gentle coughing sound as if clearing her throat.  “I’m sorry
Haldir,” she said in a small voice but Haldir waved her off.  “How are you
feeling today, Legolas?” she quickly changed the subject after being able to
compose herself again.

“The baby is getting heavier, each day.  Can’t wait for the day I don’t have to
carry it anymore,” I spoke carefully and in monotone, so as to avoid the
laughing hicks that were threatening to erupt again.

“Well, you’ve a month and a half to go.  Has the healer come to see you yet?”
Arwen had visited almost daily to see if I needed anything.  She was filled
with curiosity and asked many questions about my pregnancy.  I could see that
she longed for a baby of her own.

On several occasions, she apologised and voiced her feelings of guilt for
causing all the troubles but I never blamed her.  Arwen was as innocent and as
I was.  It was all Aragorn’s fault for not loving her enough.  He had
deliberately betrayed her by finding faults in her and making excuses to take a
consort.

“Yes, Bronwe did.  He explained to me many things about what would happen
before and during the birth.”  I shuddered as I remembered his descriptions of
‘labour pain’ and the process of birth.  “He was hoping that Lord Elrond would
be here soon so that they may discuss the surgery.  He was most optimistic that
this would be a success.”

“You know you can trust my father, Legolas,” Arwen said confidently.

Just then there was a knock on the door.

“Come in,” I called out, wondering who it was.  The door opened to reveal a
handsome elf standing outside.

“May I come in?” he asked politely.

“Orophin.  Come on in,” Haldir answered for me.  “Legolas, meet one of my
brothers, Orophin.”  The said elf entered, closed the door behind him and
walked towards me.

“It’s so good to finally meet my savior!” I exclaimed happily.  I was not the
least apprehensive to meet Orophin for he was the first Lorien elf to see me in
this condition; and Haldir had probably warned him beforehand.  “Sorry, I
cannot stand up.  I’m not properly dressed to receive visitors,” I apologised
sheepishly.

“It is I who must apologise instead for disturbing you.”  Orophin shifted
uneasily but he smiled shyly.  He reminded me so much of Haldir.  I wondered if
Rumil shared the same characteristics.

“No, no.  I like visitors.  It can be very boring sometimes with only Haldir
with me all the time.”  I gazed at Haldir, to gauge his reaction.  Instead of
pouting childishly like I knew he would do when alone in my presence, he rolled
his eyes in mock annoyance.

“You two make a cute couple,” Arwen blurted suddenly and she giggled girlishly.
 I looked at her and smiled but did not respond to that statement.

“I truly do not know how to thank you enough for saving both our lives.”  I
turned my attention back to Orophin.

“It is only my duty as a marchwarden,” Orophin answered calmly.  “Besides that
I am most honoured to be of service to you, Prince Legolas,” he added and bowed
low in respect.

“Please Orophin, just Legolas.  I am no one special here.”  Orophin nodded in
acceptance.  “Oh, where are my manners.  Please take a seat.”

“Orophin is the shyest among us,” Haldir started teasing.  To prove him right,
Orophin blushed at that comment.
“Unlike his brother who is arrogant, narcissist, prideful.….ai!” I cried out,
my hands shot up in self-defense as Haldir hit my head with a soft pillow. 
Giggles erupted among us as we continued our mock battle of fluffy pillows.

There was a feeling of normalcy again as we all sat together and talked about
many things.  We shared many happy past memories and teased each other as if we
were old friends.  Jokes were passed around and laughter filled the room.  The
feeling was wonderful and I forgot for that moment, my impending doom and the
mood swings.

So far, Faramir was my most amusing visitor.  Whenever he popped in, he would
enchant me with so many stories – places he had been, elves he had met, the
walk among the golden woods, an invitation by Rumil to swim in Nimrodel and
many more adventures.  He was so vibrant and full of excitement, like a little
boy all over again.

Of course, he never got sidetracked about me.  He had actually taken the time
to choose nice presents to give to me whenever he came.  I had a basket on the
bedside table, full of things that he found – golden leaves from a Mallorn
tree, a round pink pebble from the bottom of the Nimrodel, a shiny blue feather
from a native bird and so much more.  I was so fortunate to have a friend like
him.

On a sadder note, Galadfin did not survived.  He was alive when they had
brought him to the healer but it was too late because the wound he had
sustained was too deep.  I had only been informed of his death after the
cremation was over.

I was angry at first because it had been decided for me that I was too weak to
attend the funeral rite and withstand the mourning but Haldir had made me
realise that they were right.  Everyone was anxious and worried about my well
being after all.  It was Aragorn with whom I should be angry.  Besides that, I
was still shy to be seen in public in my unusual condition.  It was difficult
for me to look anyone in the eye and not feel disgusted with myself.

Everyone had tried to make me see that I was not hideous nor should I be
ashamed of myself and my weakness.  However, no one could understand my
predicament.  I was a prince and a warrior.  I should have been able to protect
myself and fight to the death.  Instead, I had fallen victim easily to a man
and besides that, had been used like a harlot.  The Mirkwood elves would surely
be ashamed of me.  How could I face all of them?

During the past twelve days, Haldir had diligently stayed with me.  Although
sometimes I wanted to be left alone, I was glad in a way that Haldir had
stubbornly insisted on keeping me company.  His presence had a pleasant and
calming effect on me.  Several times I’d woken up with horrible nightmares and
was relieved to find Haldir beside me, reassuring me that I was safe.

We never spoke about the details of what had transpired while I was in Gondor. 
Arwen had encouraged once that I should tell him in order to heal emotionally
but I was not ready to divulge my shame and pain to Haldir, and I was sure he
was not ready to hear them either.  If he were, he would have pushed me to tell
him.

Our time spent together this time had led to discoveries of the sweet and
innocent part of him that no one would have suspected lurking within such a
calm and collective demeanor.  Before, I knew only the playful and sometimes
excessively serious Haldir.  The silver haired elf was never chatty and most
secretive of his emotions.  However while around me, he was more at ease to
open up.

How I found out?  It happened twice that I had to sing to the baby when it was
particularly restless.  To my complete surprise, Haldir had joined me on both
occasions.  When I had stared at him, wide eyed, he had just shrugged and
grinned like a complete idiot.

The first time he had asked for permission to feel the baby’s excited kicks
cause such a stir.  The look on his face had been priceless.  Compared to
Aragorn’s expression, Haldir had simply been in awe and had delighted in the
little miracle while the man merely exuded pride and satisfaction in his own
achievement.

On other occasions, we would sit by the window’s ledge of my assigned talan and
study the Mellryn from afar.  The trunk of the more ancient and bigger Mallorn
tree had a talan build around it, just like the one in which I was currently
dwelling.  I had had the chance to touch its trunk, feeling the life pulsing
within it but it was not enough.  I had wanted to run through the forest and
feel the entire life force in Lothlorien reaching out to encase me in it.

Many times Haldir had tried to encourage me to get out but I was very
reluctant.  He had even gone so far as wanting to make arrangements to clear
the area where I wanted to go but I had turned him down.  I was no one
important and did not deserve to be treated in such a manner.  Already, I had
created a bad impression in avoiding meeting the elves of Lorien.  I did not
want to create further dislike by being arrogant.

* ~ * ~ *

“Haldir, what is it like being in love?” I asked him one quiet afternoon while
we were sitting on the bed, playing a human’s game called Othello that the
twins had taught me.  It was a strategic game where two opponents tried to
conquer the board with as many pieces of its own colour – mainly black or
white.

The Galadrim looked at me with amusement.  A crinkle of a smile appeared in his
eyes.

“Well, it’s a strange feeling you have inside you.  One moment you’re cold and
the next, scalding hot; and you think that you are falling ill and dying.” 
Haldir laughed when he saw that I was looking at him incredulously.

“You’re joking, right?” I looked at him skeptically.

“Believe me, this is one feeling you would not mind dying for.  It’s a
wonderful sensation really.  Imagine this – thousands of little butterflies
fluttering their delicate wings all at once inside your stomach; your heart
beating furiously and you are helpless to stop it; you feel so drunk and dazed
at the same time that you sway on your feet; the warmth from all the blood
rushing in your body, embarrassing you with blushes; your mind completely blank
of anything else except the image of your love and you loose sight of the world
around you completely, turning you into hapless elf.  You dream only of being
with that person for the rest of your life; you do not remember to eat or drink
or even that you had a life before; and finally, when all these were not enough
to kill you, you become a stuttering fool just so you can humiliate yourself in
front of your friends and the object of your affection.”

“Have you experienced all these?”  I gasped in disbelief.

“Nope.  Never,” Haldir shrugged.  “What I felt was different.  I felt that Anar
was not bright enough and the sky was suddenly too blue.  I sent my love and
wishes through the white clouds that sailed by and I wanted to drench myself
silly under the spring rain.  I smelled pine and flowers like I never smelled
before and my heart soared so high, I didn’t know if it would ever come back
down to Arda again,” he said with such passion.

I was made speechless.  Suddenly, I had found a poetical Haldir.

“Why do you ask?  Do you have someone in mind?”  Haldir grinned mischievously.

I shook my head.  “No, no one like how you described.  I just thought that….” I
trailed off, feeling shy suddenly.

“Tell me.”  Haldir prodded insistently.

“Well, I thought ….. I was in love with Faramir because I did not know how
truelove feels.  Now I know I only like him because he was really nice to me.” 
I dropped my gaze to the floor, smiling shyly.  Meanwhile, Haldir was grinning
from ear to ear.

“Legolas, you really are innocent with concerns of the heart,” he piped. 
“Remember when we asked you about this while lazing by the lake side in
Imladris?  And you told us that you never really saw yourself as being grown up
yet?  I really thought you were just kidding and you were hiding something.”

“Now is the time to grow up, isn’t it?”  I was not really seeking an answer
because I knew the answer.  Sub-consciously my hand started to rub my belly
again.  Yes, my body had matured faster than my mind and indirectly I had had
to pay for my foolishness.

“Seriously, though,” Haldir interrupted my reverie.  “I think Faramir likes
you.”

“Really?”  Of course, after spending much time among humans, I had learned to
identify when one was attracted to me.  “I hate to disappoint him.  He deserves
better.  How about you?  When did you found out that you loved her?”

“Yes, about that.  When did you get the idea that I have a lover?” Haldir
stared at me expectantly.

“I always thought that….well, so many she-elves were following wherever you
went so I assumed that one of them must have caught your heart,” I said.

“To be honest, one almost did but through her, I came to realise that someone
else had already stolen my heart.  Of course, it did not happen over night.  It
just made me started thinking that I prefer HIS company and as time goes by, my
feelings deepen.”  There was an unreachable longing in his bluish-grey eyes as
he related his feelings.

I could not understand why Haldir was suddenly full of surprises.  I found my
mouth hanging when I heard him mentioned that he was in love with an elf
instead.

“He?” I wanted a re-confirmation that I had not heard wrongly.

“Yes, is there anything wrong in that?” Haldir sounded slightly hurt.

“No, no.  I was just surprised.  You always flirted with the she-elves so…” I
trailed off, feeling stupid.  “Where is he now?  When did you reveal your
feelings to him?” I tried to change the subject.

“I have not told him because I do not think he is ready to accept me yet.” 
Haldir said sadly.  In my condition, I did not really have a choice with whom I
wanted to be but it looked like I was not alone in this.

“Why do you say so?  Has something happened to him?”  I frowned.

“You could say that.  I just wanted to give him time to sort out his things. 
He’s already been through enough and I didn’t want to add more confusion for
him,” Haldir answered.

“That is very noble of you, Haldir.”  It must have been really hard for him to
wait in silence like that.  He was taking a huge risk, that in the end if the
elf he had poured his heart and soul unconditionally did not accept him, he
could die of grief.  “Come now, Haldir.  Tell me.  Am I not your most trusted
friend?”

I wanted to know the target of his affections because I wanted to help them get
together.  Haldir deserved a lot because he was the most wonderful, generous
and kindhearted elf I had ever met.  I just could not stand back and see him
rejected by the other and then die of grief.

“Is it someone from Lothlorien?  Imladris?  Or one of my brothers, perhaps?” I
teased lightly.  Probably it would help Haldir to open up to me.

“Ai, no, not your brothers.  They are too arrogant for me, unlike you,” he
chortled.

“I think Firith likes you,” I beamed.

“And your father would have my hide.  He is the Crown Prince after all and a
marchwarden is no match for his station.  He has certain obligations to
fulfill,” he said.

“True,” I agreed readily.  “I’m really happy for you Haldir.  I know he would
not turn you down.  You’re just too precious and he’s very lucky to have you.”

“Thank you, Legolas.  How about you?  Besides fancying Faramir, anyone caught
your attention yet?”  Haldir clearly tried to steer the subject away from
himself.

“It’s too late for me now.  No one would ever look at me or even want me,” I
answered rather sadly.

“How can you regard yourself so lowly?  The beauty within you and you’re your
outward appearance draws many to you like bees to a flower.  You have a kind
soul and your gentle manner is simply irresistible.  Believe it or not, these
were the qualities that drew me to you.”  I blushed furiously at his last
comment.  “Nothing has changed, Legolas.  You only grew up, that’s all.  That’s
nothing to be ashamed of.  Everyone has to grow up some day.”

I let out a stifled sigh.  What Haldir had declared was beautiful, if only I
could accept it.  There was no doubt that I believed him but I just could not
see it in me.

“You will always have me by your side, as a friend,” Haldir added passionately.
 “Don’t ever feel disgraced by what Aragorn had done to you.  I am sure your
father and brothers are proud of you because you’re the strongest person I
know.  After what you’ve been through, you’re still here with us.  I really
want to thank the Valar for this because they’ve given you strength to fight
it.  Don’t think that they’ve abandoned you,” Haldir continued.

I could not help as my eyes were brimming with tears.  When it proved too much,
they began to roll down, one by one.  Haldir extended a hand to my face and
wiped the tears away.

“Don’t be sad, Legolas.  What is important is that you’re back with us now. 
Did you know I was so sad when I thought you had died?  It was your father who
encouraged me to have faith that you were still alive?”

I had no idea my adar had so much strength to have believed that I was still
alive after one year of absence.  Maybe after the trials with my naneth’s
death, adar had come out stronger and thus, able to hold the family together. 
It was sweet of adar to have consoled Haldir.  I guess he must like him very
much.

What Haldir had said was true.  I was alive now and should count my blessings
that I was among good friends.  I gave Haldir a genuine smile, a silent
appreciation for what he had done for me all this while.

Haldir’s speech had awoken a feeling inside me that I had tried to suppress for
a long time.  Since the last time I had met him in Imladris, my feelings for
Haldir had become more than as brothers-in-arms.  I did not love him the way he
described it but I no longer considered him as a mere friend either.  I enjoyed
spending time with him and his presence gave me a sense of being whole.

Of late, I felt a difference in Haldir too.  Maybe I had misunderstood or
misread his intentions and signals but I got the idea that he was exceptionally
happy this time when around me.  Perhaps he was just glad that his friend was
alive after all.  But I was saddened that he would leave me eventually because
there was someone else waiting for him.


~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~


26.  Confrontation (Part 1)

In a month’s time, I would be ready for the birth of my baby.  With the day
drawing near, I became more agitated.  By one end, I wanted this birth to
happen quickly because I wanted my freedom back so that I could run and ride a
horse again; to pick up my passion for archery with Haldir and hopefully,
return to Mirkwood.  By the other end, I was afraid that my time in Arda was
coming to an end.

Death was never an issue among elves because it rarely occurred.  It should be
only logical that I was afraid of death but I was not.  I had enough time to
gather courage to go for this next journey and besides that, I had actually
wanted to embrace death itself, as I had wanted it many moons ago.  I wanted
the final release.

My only regret was that there were so many things I wanted to do and see before
my time.  Before I die I hoped with all my heart to be able to ask for
forgiveness from my family for my weakness and the shame that I had brought to
them.  I also hoped that I would be able to see my child’s face for the first
time before I faded away.  It would not be fair that I had carried it for so
long and not get a chance to see it face to face.

‘Please, merciful Nienna.  I come begging to you once again.  Let me see my
child’s face before Lord Mandos takes me away.  Just once.  That is all that I
ask.  Just once.’

And with my last breath, I want to whisper my last gift to my child – a name.

These were the constant thoughts that I brooded on daily.  I had wanted to
spend more time doing something to occupy myself but without going out of my
talan, there was nothing much I could do.  I moped a lot, reflecting quietly on
a corner of the bed (it was increasingly difficult to sit on the floor and get
up afterwards).

The endless sluggish inactivity combined with my physical and mental exhaustion
from the burden of pregnancy and its stress had made me listless and sleepy. 
My ever-concerned friend had taken the liberty to talk to Bronwe, the healer,
about my condition and was relieved to know that it was normal that I would
become slightly depressed and moody just before the birth.  I was told to take
more rest, as I would need all the energy I could muster at the end of my term.
 I couldn’t agree more on this matter.

As stubborn and as patient as Haldir can be, sometimes I really got under his
skin.  There were a few occasions when I tried to talk to him about my fears
and worries but he stubbornly refused to listen to them.  He worked hard
instead, to make me believe that everything will be all right.

I thought otherwise.  Somehow, I felt it deep within my bones.

On the occasions that I did drive Haldir up the wall, we ended up in arguments.
 Once he even yelled at me to stop sulking in self-pity.  Those were hurtful
words to me especially coming from Haldir, but when I looked into his eyes, I
was shocked to see frustration and even fear.  I held my tongue from any forms
of nasty retort that I had sometimes thrown at him.

It dawned on me that Haldir really care for me though I badly wanted to know to
what level.  This phobia of his - that he would loose me again - was too real. 
I wondered if this time he would join me in the Halls of Waiting when I make
that final journey.  Seeing the truth that there was no point in making my
final days in Arda any harder than it was, I yielded.  We made up quickly and
became good friends again.

Coincidentally, the ‘Great Autumn Festival’ would be held two weeks after my
full term.  Haldir had successfully distracted me with stories of the
celebration that would be held at the main ground in Caras Galadhon.  I wished
that I might be able to go but I was not confident enough that I would make it
in the end.  Of course, I would not mention this again to Haldir.  He had
enough to worry about.

There was another worry that had been plaguing my mind lately.  The surgery.  I
anxiously wanted to see Lord Elrond because I needed his courage and confidence
that the surgery would be a success, and that my baby had a chance of survival.
 I had yet to hear from the elven Lord or my adar.  I thought that Haldir was
worried about this, too, though he did not show it.

* ~ * ~ *

As per the healer’s advice, I spent most of my time sleeping the day away and
having long soaks in the bathtub after sundown.  The servants had just left
after drawing the bath for me and I had waddled back to the bathroom to find
Haldir busy laying folded towels and clothing on the rack.  He had also left a
bottle of oil beside the rack so that I might use it for moisturizing the
stretching skin on my belly, hips and backside.  The itching was getting a bit
annoying and embarrassing because no proper elf would find themselves secretly
scratching away and enjoying it immensely.

Watching Haldir work cause a smile to form on my lips because he reminded me a
little of Aragorn and Faramir – their constant fussing over someone like me.

After Haldir was done, he would leave the bathroom so that I might have
privacy.

“Don’t stay too long.  Otherwise, I will break down the door to rescue you,”
Haldir quipped as he walked pass.  I stuck out a tongue at him and closed the
door behind him.

Once I had stripped naked, I stepped into the lukewarm water.  I could not
stand hot water anymore and also it would be damaging for the baby.  I was
careful not to slip, as my bulky form did not allow me any direct sight of
where I was stepping.

The pleasure of this simple luxury was all that I asked for at the moment. 
Like a paranoid person that I was making sure that every sensation – touch,
sight, smell, taste and sound – would be locked away in my memory because I
wanted to recall them when I would be too bored in Mandos’s Realm.

The surface of the water caressed my exposed skin like a gentle lover’s touch.
When I lowered myself, the warmth of the water embraced me with a blissful
affection.  I sighed deeply as I felt my lower backache eased almost
immediately and the tensed muscles in my legs that were giving me cramps
relaxed slowly.

As predicted, the baby agreed with my sentiments by giving me a single kick.  I
had discovered by accident that the baby could understand my every thought and
its way of communicating with me was through kicks – one for ‘yes’ and two for
‘no’.

Lately, I noticed that the child was beginning to develop its own personality. 
Sometimes the baby would kick violently when angry and make light fluttering
movements when in a good mood.  It was a strange thing for me to find the baby
being so sensitive to outside influences and responding to them intelligently. 
Somehow, it made me feel that I was not alone anymore.  If I had noticed it
earlier, I would not had been so depressed all the time, thinking that everyone
had abandoned me.  Actually, my closest ally was just inside me.

Instinctively, I ran a hand over my protruding front enjoying the feel of the
tickling sensation on my skin.

“Hello, young one.  Are you going to be my son or daughter?  I must start
thinking of a name for you and it will be an elven name.  It must be a
beautiful name for you are a very special child.  You are the grandchild to
King Thranduil of Greenwood The Great and great grandchild to mighty Oropher,
founder of Greenwood The Great,” I started talking to the baby.  I smiled as I
felt a kick from within.  “May be one day, we will be able to reunite again in
Valinor.  I shall miss you terribly until then.”  Only silence greeted me this
time.

‘Great, even my child is learning to rebel against me.’  I rolled my eyes up in
surrender.  How did it managed to pick up bad habits from Haldir?  Elfling
these days had no respect for their elders.  Then I remembered that Tanhision
had once said that same thing to me.  I smiled, finally understanding what he
meant.

While my mind drifted off on blissful thoughts, I heard a brief knock followed
by soft conversation.  I could not catch the words but the tone did not
indicate any urgency.  I did not recognise the other’s voice though so I
guessed ‘he’ must be a messenger or another marchwarden reporting to Haldir.

It was a very brief report and after the door closed, Haldir knocked on my
bathroom door to draw my attention.

“Legolas?” came a muffled voice from the other side.

“Yes, Haldir?” I answered without getting out of the tub.

“Lord Celeborn needs to see me concerning some urgent matter about Aragorn. 
While I’m away, someone will be here briefly with you.  Faramir is on his way
here.  Will that be all right with you?  I won’t be long,” Haldir explained.

“I’ll be fine, Haldir.  Don’t worry about me,” I called back.

“All right, I’ll try to be back very soon.”

“See you later then,” I bid him good-bye.  I heard Haldir give some last minute
instructions before he left.  There was a brief noise as the other
‘marchwarden’ moved about in the other room.  And then there was silence.

Very soon, I could not fight back the sleepiness that plagued me earlier.

My complete trust in Lothlorien as a safe haven made me let down my guard.  It
was useless to worry about anything because I had full confidence in the
Marchwarden of the Golden Woods.  If they had failed, Aragorn would have
appeared days ago.

Ever since in Lothlorien, I fell easily into a deep slumber.  I rested
properly, knowing full well that Haldir was always beside me.  Therefore, I
probably had not realised if Faramir had already entered my talan to take over
Haldir’s duty.


27.  Confrontation (Part 2)

I was dreaming again.  Not a nightmare this time.  I dreamt that someone was
combing my hair.  The intimate gesture did not alarm me but rather made me mewl
in contentment.  It felt so nice as the fingers slid up to my scalp, massaging
it and then ran the length down my long hair in one untangled movement.

Who was I dreaming of?  I saw something dark at the corner of my eyes and
turned slightly to see a fuzzy figure looming over me.  Then I caught a scent
that reminded me of something awful.  I frowned and peered closer at the
figure, almost squinting.

To my complete mortification, I found Aragorn looking down at me.  His clothes
were slightly rumpled and his facial hair was hastily trimmed to appear well
groomed.  There was faint reddish tint in the white of his eyes, as if he had
not slept very well.

‘It’s just a nightmare,’ I tried to convince myself.  ‘It’s not real.’

Then it hit me.  I was NOT dreaming because his scent was real and his warm
breath was blowing onto my face.

Aragorn squatted next to the bathtub.  One of his hands was still running
through my hair while the other moved to settle on my left shoulder.  I became
uneasy where his hand was touching my bare skin.  It was cold and clammy.

There was a look of longing desire in his eyes.  That was when I realised I was
completely naked and he could see everything through the clear water.  The
dominant emotions of fear and dread filled me instantly.  I was completely
helpless at the moment.

How had he gotten in here?  Where was the previous marchwarden or Faramir who
were supposed to be in the other room?  Had Aragorn killed them?  How had he
found me here?  This was NOT real.

“Are you tired of me now, Legolas?  So, you throw yourself into Faramir and
Haldir’s arms shamelessly?” he questioned coldly.  I was surprised by the
questions and found myself unable to answer them.

‘What was he talking about?’

“Tell me!”  His voice turned hard suddenly.

I squeezed my eyes shut and cringed, prepared to receive the first blow on my
cheek.  A moment passed but still nothing happened.  Instead the hand I feared
would hurt me began caressing my cheek.
Cautiously, I opened my eyes.

“I missed you terribly,” he whispered as his hand continued to caress
absentmindedly.  “I worried about you, wondering if you’ve eaten well and what
you were doing.  I was furious that Faramir betrayed me, taking you and Arwen
away with him.  Then when I saw Haldir had left your talan, I almost broke
apart.  Legolas, I love you very much and would do anything to make you happy. 
Why do you hurt me like this?” he was almost pleading.

I shivered at his words.  He was beginning to sound irrational.

“Are you cold, love?” he became concerned.  I dared not tell him that I shook
in fear of him.  Instead, I just nodded mutely.

Without another word, he dug his hands into the water and scooped me out of the
tub.  Then he let me stand beside it as water dripped to the floor and formed a
big puddle at my feet.  He quickly fetched a towel to dry me.  Once finished, I
waddled into the other room to get away from him but he caught up with me
before I even reached the door.  In one swift motion, he swept me into his
arms.

The suddenness made me gasp in fright and immediately I clung to his neck for
dear life.

“You are getting heavier,” he teased.  I smiled nervously at his sudden change
in moods.  While on the way to the bed, I scanned the room and found no bodies
or traces of blood.  Strange.

As soon as I was laid gently on the bed, Estel started kissing me ardently from
head to toe.  I wriggled uncomfortably underneath and tried to grab for the
blanket to cover my nakedness.

“Don’t Legolas.  You know I like you naked in bed.  By the Valar you are so
stunningly beautiful.  You must never hide that from me,” he praised yanking
the blanket away from my fingers.

I did not fight him since I did not know how dangerous Estel was at that
moment.  I was prepared to fight to the death but I must think of my baby.  I
lay quietly, watching his every move and hoping for the first opportunity to
escape.

Estel skimmed his fingers gently on my round belly, admiring it.  “I was almost
insane with worry when you fell into the river,” he spoke in an absentminded
way.

‘You’re definitely insane already, Estel, even before this,’ I thought
bitterly.

Then he bent forward and kissed me mercilessly, drawing every breath in me and
sucking dry my saliva.  His tongue delved deeper inside my mouth and crushing
his lips on mine.  I could feel the bruises forming.

“I would have followed you even to Mandos’ Hall if you and our baby had
perished that night.  I could not find out what happened because the damn elves
refused to let me see you,” Estel panted heavily.  “I would have burned
Lothlorien to the ground if they had refused to hand over your body to me,” he
added harshly.

Estel was completely mad and dangerous.  This was one enemy where one must
tread cautiously because when he struck, he could easily render me unconscious
and I would not be able to do anything to help myself.

“How did you get in?” I found my voice for the first time.  I resorted to
another tactic – buying time.  He was probably planning to sneak me out of the
Golden Woods tonight.  It would be quite dangerous but I could still travel
back to Gondor in time for the birth.  Perhaps someone would come and check on
me or maybe Haldir had finished seeing Lord Celeborn and would be making his
way back here now.

“I know many secret passages to get in and I was lucky not to have met the elf
who was here before.  He thought I was Faramir and that I was lost.  It was
easy to charm him to get him to tell me what I wanted to know,” Estel stated
smugly.  “By the way, your adar would not be here to witness the birth of our
child and neither is he going to see you.”

“You sent someone to assassinate him?” I gasped in horror.

“No!” Estel chuckled lightly.  “I would never do that unless……..he left me no
choice.  I’ve only intercepted the Lorien’s messengers.  They are my prisoners
for the moment, until we leave here.”

“But Lord Elrond was supposed to perform the surgery of the birthing!” I
exclaimed in disbelief.  How could he have been so stupid?  I could develop
complications during the birth and I did not want the child to die.
“I will perform the surgery now.  I know what to do.  Do you think I would let
you get pregnant without knowing how to deliver my own child?” Estel scoffed. 
“Do not worry, Legolas.  I will make sure both of you are safe.”

In this matter, I believed him because he had declared wanting children and
would keep me forever by his side.  He would definitely not be foolish enough
to endanger my life.

“Estel, you know you cannot keep me a secret from others for too long. 
Eventually everyone will know of your insane scheme.”  I felt slightly daring
to challenge him.

“You think this is all an insane scheme?” he bellowed angrily.  “You’re wrong
Legolas.  Do you know I am really your prisoner?  That you’ve captured my heart
and kept it with you without mercy?  It was you who is the cruel one.  I merely
played along with your ‘game’.”

My mouth hung open in shock.  I was the cruel one?  My game?  I could almost
laugh out loud.  So far, I was the one who was abused physically, sexually and
mentally; and on top of that I had to suffer death for another life.

Anger was boiling inside me.  Without thinking, my right hand flew out to
strike Estel’s face but he caught my wrist just in time, grasping it tightly. 
Our eyes locked in a battle of wills.  I tried to pull my hand away but he
refused to let go.

Suddenly, Estel grinned wickedly.

“Looks like my little consort is becoming rebellious again.  What have they
promised you?”  Without releasing my hand, Estel brought it to his lips and
began kissing my palm.

“Nothing.  However you can be sure they will not let me go back to you so
easily,” I declared triumphantly.

Estel sniffed arrogantly.  “Don’t believe them, my love.  No one can separate
us.  You’re my mate for life.  I will be the one who will take care of you and
have the right to love you,” he stared at me with gleaming eyes, so
self-assured in his plan.  “Speaking of love, it’s been a long time since I
have felt you.”

It was my hint to get away.  However, my bulky form did not allow me the grace
and speed to do so.  Estel circled an arm around my chest and pulled me back,
pinning me down to the bed.  He then sat on my lap while securing my hands to
my sides.  I struggled briefly but a sharp pain on my lower abdomen told me to
stop struggling.  I tried again with the same result.  I did not know why but I
dared not take any more chances on hurting the baby.

“Let go of me!” I cried out.  Just as I was about to scream for help, Estel
moved at lighting speed – grabbing a portion of the sheets and stuffing them
into my mouth.  With one hand free, I reached up to pull the sheet but Estel
gripped my wrist before I could do so.  He slammed it back to my side.

I panicked slightly and began hyperventilating.  Estel took no notice and
started to slide lower along my legs.  Suddenly, my limp member was fully
engorged in his hot and wet mouth.

Being overly sensitive at this stage of pregnancy, I felt a needy heat forming
between my legs.  I was beginning to feel my member growing inside his mouth. 
I gasped at the sensation of filling his mouth and arched my back slightly to
force it deeper into his throat.  A strained muffled moan escaped from my lips
and through the cloth on my mouth, making me blush furiously for the wantonness
of my body’s responses.  Worst of all, all resolve to escape flew out the
window.  In my mind there was only expectation for more pleasure to sate my
tightly strung body.

When his mouth left my aching flesh, I whimpered at the lost.  I briefly heard
Estel chortled with amusement before reached up and using his tongue to attack
my swollen nubs.

Luckily for me, I had not grown breasts to nurse the baby because I would have
been even more terribly ashamed of my physical form.  I would not have known
what I would have done if that had occurred.  However, my nipples were
constantly swollen, causing extra sensitivity that was most discomforting
whenever anything brushed against them.

What was most annoying was that the sensitivity meant that I had to seek
release.  And this was not easy with Haldir around.  However, I was sure he may
have caught the strange soft sigh several times because nothing escaped the
marchwarden’s attention.

“I know you’ve been unable to seek real release for ages now, my deliciously
wanton lover.  Your body is telling me so.  Let me love you and worship you the
way you deserve,” Estel spoke silkily between licks.  “Yes, let go of yourself
and let me pleasure you.  Only I know what you need and only I can let you have
it.”

I was too incoherent to protest.  My mind was a complete mess with all kinds of
emotions fighting among each other.  The wants and rejections were competing
furiously for dominance while my body was attacked unmercifully and forced to
accept the pleasures.

Ai, sweet Elbereth, his tongue was driving me to fever pitch and his hand
stroking my hardened member was going to send me off the edge very soon.  I was
so overwhelmed by passion that my fingers were desperately clutching onto the
bed sheets and my teeth grounded together, feeling the wet cloth soaking up
more saliva in my mouth.

Somehow, Estel had managed to turn me to my side and spooned me from behind. 
After prying the sheets from my fingers, Estel wedged his legs between my inner
thighs and draped my left leg over his.

The man did not have time to take off all his clothes and only pulled his
leggings down because I felt his rock hard arousal poking at the cleft of my
backside.

In the depth of wanton need, I managed to clear my mind enough to prod myself
to escape from him.  But my husband had other plans for me.  While he stroked
my member even faster, his tongue kept busy, licking and nibbling the tip of my
ear.  I was immediately reduced to a puddle of shivering mass, writhing
unashamedly for more.

Removing his hand from my hard flesh, he reached behind me to position his tool
at my entrance.  Estel parted my cheeks with his thumb and forefinger and
proceeded to penetrate my unyielding hole.  As I could not move away from him,
I felt him inching his way in, never stopping until his sac rested on my
behind.

I was in terrible pain and cried out in distress but I was soon moaning in
ecstasy when his hand began stroking me again.  I heard his grunts and heavy
breathing from behind.  I did not know which would kill me first – the pain or
the pleasure.  I reached the peak very quickly and when the intensity was too
much, I burst out full force, seeing stars in my eyes.  It was an incredible
release that I sought but at the same time, was really forced onto me
unwillingly.

By the time I was aware of my surroundings again, I heard Estel called out my
name as he too reached his completion.  I felt disgusted as his seeds filled
me.  Both of us lay panting heavily for air and not moving.

Suddenly, I heard a shout from behind me.  I snapped my head to look over my
shoulder and found Haldir standing by the edge of the bed – his face contorted
in absolute rage and turning bright red.

Estel was also startled by Haldir’s sudden appearance and in his haste, pulled
out from me too fast, causing stinging pain on my already sore hole.  I cried
out in pain and tore the cover from my mouth.

In a flash, Estel disappeared from my back, followed by a loud thud on the
floor and lots of cursing.  I was terribly exhausted and so did not react
quickly.  By the time I managed to turn to see, I found Estel seated on the
floor, frantically pulling his leggings on.  The man was scowling while Haldir
loomed over him, equally mad.

“Haldir!” I called out to my friend.

“Are you all right, Legolas?” knowing what had happened.  I nodded weakly.  I
had never been so humiliated in my life that Haldir had to find me in such a
degrading situation.

All of a sudden, both of them were at each other’s throats.  Estel had lunged
at Haldir and managed to connect a fist to his jaw.  The marchwarden recovered
quickly and began attacking his assailant with deadly intentions.  Fists
connected to faces and much shoving ensued, causing the two of them to roll on
the floor to fight for dominance.

Fearing only for Haldir’s safety, I struggled to get off the bed and grabbed
the blanket to wrap around myself.  I had intended to go out of the talan and
shout for help.  It would have been unwise for me to get in between them
because I could seriously hurt myself and the baby.

Once my feet touched the floor, I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my lower
abdomen.  I grimaced and sat frozen, waiting for the pain to subside.  When it
did, I tried getting up again.  No pain.  Good.  However, my sore backside
refused to allow me to move swiftly.  I had to take small measured steps
towards the door and trying to dodge and avoid the brawl.

When I reached the door, I had to grasp the handle for support because I was
slightly out of breath.  A mild ache in my back was slowly spreading to the
front, and the intensity was growing worst.  I tried to ignore it, as it could
have been from my previous physical exertion with Estel.

It never occurred to me that I could be experiencing labour pain because Bronwe
had explained that the contractions would come and go and the intensity would
be gradual.  What I had right now was a continuous ache added with an on and
off stabbings.


~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~


28.  The Birth Of The Prince Of Men

I was about to straighten up when a sudden wave of intense pain seized my whole
lower body.  It was so sharp that I sank to my knees, clutching my abdomen. 
Fear gripped like a vice on my heart sending me spiraling into a deeper panic. 
Ragged pants wracked my lungs.  I gritted my teeth but somehow, moans of misery
still escaped me.

Cold sweat trickled down the side of my face and a bitter chill wrapped itself
around me.  It felt like death trying to wrap its ugly fingers around my soul.

Mercifully, the pain began to gradually subside.

The brawling had stopped and the room had turned silent, filled only by the
calls of the cicadas on hot summer nights and by my whimpers.  In an instant,
both Estel and Haldir rushed to my sides, flanking me.

“Legolas, what’s wrong?” Haldir questioned, his voiced laced with panic. 
Without thought, he placed an arm around my back to comfort me.  Estel growled
in resentment of the gesture.  He slapped Haldir’s hand away and replaced it
with his own instead.

“Is it the baby?” Estel guessed.  This should not have been happening so soon
but there was no other explanation.  Feeling my throat constrict with fear, I
nodded.

For a brief moment, I was tempted to laugh as I looked up at the man and elf
beside me.  Estel sported a bloodied nose and a black eye, the swollen eyelids
completely shutting his left eye.  One corner of his mouth was bruised and who
knows what other injuries were hidden underneath his tunic.  Haldir was almost
in similar condition with the exception of the black eye.  With the marchwarden
though, the bruises stood out in contrast to his pale skin.

I opened my mouth to make a comment but instead, hissed like a snake.  Another
wave of pain hit me.  This time, it sent me on all fours.  I was rooted on the
spot, experiencing a stop in time.

“Help me get him to the bed,” Haldir instructed, finally snapping out of his
trance.  For once, I was glad Estel had not retaliated and merely helped to
move me to the bed.

While doing so, the cover that I had used to hide my nakedness fell.  Estel was
quick to cover me with another blanket, unwilling to let Haldir get another
long peek at my body.

It was a miracle that they had stopped fighting over me at that point.  Estel
was being jealous and possessive while Haldir simply wanted to defend my honour
as the valiant warrior he was.  If it weren’t for my belly and pain getting in
the way, I would have lunged at Estel before Haldir could even have touched
him.

Yes, the pain had provoked me into a dangerous infuriation and nothing would
stop me from killing that man with my bare hands.  I had such a sudden urge to
punch Estel in the face and knee his groin - preferably breaking his testicles
- and afterwards, pushing him off the talan so that I could watch his body
sprawled at cruel angles on the forest ground.

I am Legolas, a warrior by birth and I would settle my own score.  And I did
just that.  I sat up and reached out to grab Estel’s hair, intending to bring
his head down far enough so I could use my knee to bash his face but the man
recovered from his shock just in time and pushed my leg back down.  Then he
twisted out of my grip and laid beside me, clamping a leg over mine and locking
my arms to my side with his right arm over my chest.

Haldir stared wide-eyed at me, surprised that I was suddenly so determined and
aggressive.  I huffed indignantly in my husband’s hold until another stab of
pain made me scream out every foul phrase I had ever heard but had not been
allowed to speak out loud.  I was terribly testy and threw one of my infamous
tantrums.

I heard Haldir snort mirthfully from beside me.

“What are you laughing at?  Do you enjoy seeing me in pain?” I shouted at
Haldir, who jumped in fright.

“I’ll go get the healer now,” he volunteered quickly.  After giving Estel a
look between pity and warning, he dashed off.

“It’s all right, my precious.  See, Haldir has gone to get the healer,” Estel
talked to me as if I were a child.

“Stop treating me like a child.  Damn you, I’m having a child.  This is all
your doing,” I scolded Estel unmercifully.

“Breathe, Legolas, breathe,” Estel encouraged me.

I panted heavily when the next contraction took hold of me again.  I could feel
the baby shifting lower inside me, causing me to react on instinct to push. 
The pain was building and screams of agony tore from my lips often enough.

“Get this baby out of me!” I yelled and grimaced again  “Estel, please! 
Please!  I’ll do anything for you.  Just get it out now,” I cried miserably.

“I will, love.  As soon as the healer’s here with his equipment, all right?”
Estel tried to soothe me, his hand busy caressing my wet forehead.  “I love
you, Legolas.  Soon, we will be able to go home and raise our child together.”

“Water, I need water,” I huffed.  Estel looked around the room and found what
he was looking for.  He dashed towards it and grabbed the blue jug filled with
water and began to pour it into the glass.

“Aaarrggghhh!” I screamed again when a wave of particularly blinding pain
washed over me.  I was dizzy, nauseous and terrified.  I was quickly loosing my
sense of orientation and could hardly grasp what was happening around me other
than this extremely brutal torture.

Estel was instantly by my side, holding my hand and letting me squeez on it
tightly.  Tears were pouring from my eyes in torrents, blurring my sight.  My
blocked nose caused more discomfort and Estel had to hold a cloth over my nose
so I could blow it.  Then he let me take sips of water.

After what seemed like ages of waiting, things began to happen very fast.  I
heard people bursting into the room.

A face appeared beside Estel and ‘he’ peered down at me.  It was Bronwe and he
shooed Estel away.  The man bristled at the way he was treated but Bronwe
ignored him outright.

The irritated man disappeared from my line of sight and soon I heard some
heated discussion in the background.  I did not bother to see what was going
on.  I was just selfishly worried for myself.

I was so happy to see Bronwe and almost wanted to hug him.  He bent forward and
touched my abdomen, pushing and probing experimentally.

“He’s ready for birth,” he announced calmly and loudly.  The harsh conversation
in the background ceased.

“Get it out, now!” I yelled at him as another contraction built into an
intolerable level.  I felt my whole body being ripped into shreds, over and
over again.  I felt like tearing myself open and pulling the baby out myself.

A gentle yet higher pitch voice floated into my dazed mind but I could not
understand a single word.  The owner of the voice seemed to be Lady Galadriel
but I was not sure, as I could not see her from where I was.

“Well, my lady, looks like the baby cannot wait to meet us,” Bronwe tried to
enlightened the tense mood.  Bless his good intentions but I would throttle him
if he did not do anything to alleviate my condition.

“Legolas, we must perform the surgery now.  I’m sorry we cannot wait for Lord
Elrond anymore.  I wish we could but your baby seems to be in a hurry to see
you and the longer we wait, the more the exhaustion will take a toll on you and
you may not make it.  Do you understand?” Bronwe informed me calmly and slowly
as if I were retarded.

I only nodded my consent.  Truth was, I did not give a damn.  I want this over
with quickly.  I was just too drained, thirsty, cranky, impatient and angry to
care about anything anymore.

There were more frantic and angry conversations around me.

“I don’t care even if you’re the Vala himself.  Now shut up and follow orders. 
Pull that table towards that spot.”  Bronwe was in his no nonsense mood.  He
had just ordered the King of Men as if he were a little boy.  “Haldir, take
this blanket and drape it over the top.”  Both of them moved into action.

“Now, help me carry him to the table.”  Estel was immediately beside the bed,
loathing anyone else to touch me and scooped me to the said furniture.  I
dangled like a lifeless doll while in his arms.

The surface of the sturdy oak table was not long enough, thus half my lower
legs jutted out over the edge.  However, it sufficed for Bronwe as he needed a
stable and hard worktop for his purpose.

Just then, someone else burst into the room.  “I heard….” The new comer heaved
as if he had run for leagues to get here.

“Ah, Faramir.  Go help Saiwen to carry the things here.  I want you to be in
charge of replenishing us with hot water and clean towels,” Bronwe dismissed
him quickly.  I guess he did not want too many people in the talan.

When Faramir reacted too slowly, Bronwe shouted at him.

With the three males – Bronwe, Estel and Haldir – and Lady Galadriel in the
room seeing me in my naked glory, I should have been embarrassed until my next
life.  Probably Faramir had seen me, too, but I was not sure.  No one had ever
seen me fully naked before now.  Luckily, Haldir must have understood my
awkward situation because he obtained a huge towel to cover my lower half.

Estel never left my side, constantly holding my hand as if afraid that I would
run away.

“I don’t want to be pregnant anymore,” I cried again.  I felt like dying right
there and then.  “I hate you, Estel.  You caused me to suffer like this!”  My
voice was so shrill that everyone winced.

“Hush, child.  It is all right.  We are here to help you,” Lady Galadriel
appeared suddenly.  “Aragorn, Haldir, I think both of you should leave.”

“No, I will perform the surgery,” Estel stated adamantly.  Everyone turned in
unison to look at him.

“In your condition?  Might I remind you that you have only one eye for
observation?    And since when have you become the healer?” Bronwe spoke
sarcastically.

“I know what to do.  I was well prepared to deliver my OWN child.”  Estel
refused to budge.
“I don’t care who does it.  Do it now!” I hissed as I felt another contraction
building.

“Aragorn, come with me.  We need to talk,” Bronwe conceded finally.  Together
they left the room.

“Don’t leave me, Haldir.  I need you to protect the baby,” I called out to my
friend before he could leave.

Haldir turned to look at me for a moment.  “I will never leave you unless you
say so,” he answered with an encouraging smile.

“Thank you, Haldir,” glad to hear my friend’s response.  “I’m scared.  I don’t
want to die without seeing my baby’s face first,” I sobbed.  Then another wave
of pain hit me.  I panted.

“Breathe, Legolas.  That’s it.  Keep taking deep breaths,” Lady Galadriel
stepped in.  I did as I was told.  I gripped Haldir’s hand, unwilling to let go
even if I crushed every bone in his hand.

When the pain subsided, I laid back again, feeling drained completely.  I was
also soaked in sweat and Lady Galadriel took a dry towel to wipe my face and
chest dry.

“Haldir, help me get rid of his braids,” Lady Galadriel said.  While she held
my head, Haldir pulled my warrior’s braid off.  “Now, Legolas,  listen to my
voice,” she instructed.

Soon, she was chanting in a very melodic tune while her gentle fingers massaged
my scalp.  It soothed me for a while until the contractions started again but
the pain did not seem as bad as before.

Very soon, Bronwe and Estel entered, followed by a young she-elf whom I guess
must be Bronwe’s assistant Saiwen, and Faramir.  Saiwen placed a brown leather
bag on the bed and dragged the bedside table over to my side.

First, she cleaned her hands thoroughly with soap in the hot water.  After
that, she covered the tabletop with another clean towel and began laying in
order, nasty looking equipment.  I felt bile moving up my throat as I continued
to observe her working silently.  I felt like fainting when I saw the knife
that they were going to use to cut me open.  I was like an animal waiting to be
butchered.

Faramir seemed half-curious and half-concerned by my condition.  Whenever I
cried out in pain, the man whipped around nervously and stared with fear.  He
kept shifting from foot to foot as he stood watching.  When Saiwen told him to
do something, he left swiftly.

Both Bronwe and Estel seemed to have reached an agreement.  I saw grim
determination in Bronwe’s face while Estel looked a bit displeased.

“We have reached an agreement,” Bronwe announced as he stood beside Haldir.  “I
will be performing the surgery while Aragorn will observe and give instructions
whenever necessary.  Your opinion, My Lady?”

“I believe that is the only course we have,” the Lady of the Golden Wood
answered.

“Yes, Bronwe.  Just do it now, please.  I can’t take much more of this pain,” I
whispered hoarsely.

“All right.  Let’s begin.  Aragorn, you stay beside me.  Saiwen you stay where
you are.  Are everything prepared and cleaned?”  Saiwen nodded confidently but
silently.  “Haldir you must leave now.”

“No, he will stay.  I need him,” I pleaded.  Estel’s glare bored into me
threateningly.  I was sure he would physically throw Haldir out but I stayed my
ground.  I glared back.  I was much more emboldened by the fact that I was
among many friends and Estel was alone.

Bronwe looked at me and sighed.  Finally he nodded.

“Very well.  Haldir you will stay close to Legolas at all times.  You will help
me observe his condition.  The moment there are any changes, inform me
immediately.  Understood?”  Haldir nodded grimly.

Haldir’s hand never left mine even while Estel was standing beside me.  That
act of defiance alone could have sent Estel into a frenzied rage but he
controlled himself very well right now.  I could just feel the fire of fury
that even put a Balrog to shame consuming me.  Nevertheless, I had no time to
worry about that.  My time was coming to an end.

“And you, My Lady?” Bronwe addressed Lady Galadriel who was standing not far
away from the group.

“I shall stay to act as witness,” Lady Galadriel replied.

“Good.  Before we start, Aragorn, we must clean our hands.  Saiwen start
preparing the patient.”

Saiwen nodded once and then turned to give me a reassuring smile.  She picked
up a bottle of clear liquid and poured a small amount into a piece of folded
cloth in her palm.  Later, it was held over my nose and mouth.

“I want you to breathe in deeply for me, Legolas,” she coaxed me with a
friendly voice.  I obeyed her.  “That’s it.  Breathe more.”

The liquid smelled sweet and I breathed in more to try to identify which flower
was used.  What I had not realised was that several breaths later I felt light
and released.  Somehow the effects crept up to my brain without me noticing it.
 I started floating and felt so…..bubbly!

Saiwen removed the cloth from my face.  Then she began brushing something wet
and cool all over my big belly.  Under the light, it shone like a big bubble. 
Beautiful.  May be it was a big bubble.  I huffed and puffed at it, wishing to
see it float into the air.

“Haldir, tie his wrists with those silk cords and then to the legs of the
table.  Do the same with his legs and make sure he can’t move,” I heard
Bronwe’s voice.

“No, no tying,” I shook my head.  “Only baaddd elf gets tied up. (giggle). 
Esteeeelllll likes them verrrryyy much.  He says I’m bad, bad elf.  He tied me
up many, many times too.  Then he climbs….mmmpphhh.”  A huge palm covered my
mouth.

I shook my head violently and tried to use my hands to yank it away but I could
not move.  Bother.  Nothing seemed to work for me.

When Haldir appeared, I looked at him and laughed.  “Hallllddiirrr,” I slurred.
 Hhhmmm…..why do I slur?  (shrug)  “Hal…dir, you take care of me?”

“Yes, Legolas.  I will,” he answered.

“Oww!  Hey, that hurts!” I lifted my head.  I saw a small knife with lots of
red colour.  “Bronwe, why …..do you put strawberry jam on me?  You wanna eat
me? (giggle).”

“No, Legolas.  Haldir, settle him down.”
“Ssshhh…..Legolas.  Be quiet.  It will be over soon,” Haldir said.

“I have to teeellll you something.  Esteeellll wants many many children.  He
goes on top of me and Elbereth, it hurts.”  I saw faces around me turning red. 
“You know what he said?  (laugh)  He said I am tig…mmmpphhh.”  I turned my head
from side to side to dislodge the white thing on my face but I felt dizzy and
stopped.

“He’s bleeding too much……. Aragorn…..”

I hurt terribly.  So tired.  Need sleep.  Must go to sleep.

“Legolas!”

“Sl…..let …sssllleeeppp,”

“No.”

I did not remember what I said or did next.  I just saw things floating around
and scenes drifting in and out before me.


29.  Realm Of The Undying

Mist.  So much mist around me.  I couldn’t find my way.  I held out both hands
ahead of me and took one small step at a time, afraid that I might bang into
something and hurt myself, or step over high ground and kill myself falling off
a cliff.

There were strange noises around me – almost like a thunder roiling in the
distance combined with the sprinkling of crystal raindrops and the hollow
noises of wind traveling in a tunnel.

Suddenly, I broke through the thick white smoke.  I found myself stepping onto
a wide stretch of blinding white, fine sand beach.  There were tall cliffs
behind me, made of pink limestone and as far as my eyes could see, was the sea
– a very calm, turquoise blue sea.

Where was I?  I was supposed to be in Lothlorien.  Where was everyone?

Standing here would not answer my questions.  I decided to venture around and
see if I can find anyone who could tell me what I needed to know.  The constant
stream of a breeze blew in my direction.  It was neither hot nor cool.

Strangely as I got used to my surroundings, I finally realised that I did not
hear the sound of the sea waves crashing onto the beach.  I saw the thin, white
waves but somehow they never reached the shore.  Anar was bright in the sky,
yet it did not exude heat and the colour was slightly reddish.

I felt so lonely here.  Every bone in my body knew that I would not find anyone
and that I would be cursed to endlessly roam these shores.

I walked to the edge of the beach and squatted down.  I extended my hand to
touch the water.  It felt what liquid should feel like but there was something
uncanny that I could not pinpoint.  I stand up again and scanned around me.

Something caught my eyes.  I squinted but was unable to make it out.  I trudged
through the sand towards the object.

A huge, ominous gate appeared and it loomed higher as I neared it.

When I finally stood in front of it, I stared in rapt curiosity.  The
half-doors were closed and a heavy chain was wrapped around the lock.  As I
looked up towards the arch that was made of some kind of black stone polished
to perfections, there were strange runes written over the surface.  I could not
read or understand most of the words except for one - Mandos.

My breath left me as if a hard impact had hit on my chest.  So, it was true, my
prediction had come true.  I had finally made the last journey here.  I had
left everyone without saying goodbye and I was not even given the chance to see
my baby’s face.

I shook my head in contempt and resignation.  Such cruel fate that I lead and I
was alone and helpless.  Surely I had angered the Valar and now I must suffer
their every wrath as punishment.

Taking a deep breath, I compose myself.  There was nothing else I could do but
go ahead.  Feeling bold, I pushed the doors to see if I could open them.  They
did not budge, as I had imagined.  A slight panic began to creep into me.

What if Lord Mandos never intended for me to step into his Halls?  What if he
sentenced me to haunt these shores for eternity – neither alive nor dead?  To
whom could I plead to change this harsh punishment?  Was I so disgusting and
tainted to Lord Mandos that I was not even allowed to step into his Halls of
Waiting?

“Ada,” I heard a small voice behind me.  I whipped around but saw no one.  I
was still alone with the cliffs, the beach and the sea.

Perhaps I heard wrongly.  I was already too tense and sad, knowing where I was
now.

“Ada.”  There it was again.  This time I was sure it was the voice of a child.

“Who’s there?” I called out.  I felt the hairs on the back of my neck standing.

“Ada, don’t leave me.”

“Who are you?”  I was beginning to feel uncomfortable.  I had never heard of
ghosts except that it was a belief among humans.  I doubted I was meeting one
now yet I could not be sure.

There was a long silence.  I combed every shadow and corner with my eyes but
found nothing.  I was completely alone.  I let go of the breath that I had been
holding.

“You said that you love me.  Why do you go away?  Don’t you love me anymore?”
the child’s voice penetrated the silence all of a sudden.

That voice seemed familiar.

“Who are you?” I said to no one.

“Ada, you forget me.  You lie.  You forget me and you don’t love me anymore,”
it whined.

Ai, Elbereth.  It was my baby.  My baby was talking to me.  But how?  How did
he know that I was here?  Where was he anyway?  I couldn’t see him.  Please do
not let him be here.  He did not deserve this.

I looked down on myself and only now saw that I no longer had a huge belly.  I
was myself again, a lean elf.

“Forgive me, child.  I did not realise.  Where are you?”  My eyes probed again.

“Do you love me, ada?” he asked sweetly, his mood suddenly changing as quickly
as the wind.

“Yes, yes I do.  I love you very much,” I replied, hoping I could coax him to
reveal his hideout.

“Then don’t go.  I love you too, ada.  I want you home.  Please?” he begged
pitifully.

‘Home?  That meant my child was not dead?’

This knowledge did me no good.  I did not know whether to be happy that I had
not dragged him here or sad because I had left him like this.  He sounded so
unhappy and it was breaking my heart just to hear it.

“I’m sorry, my child.  Ada must go.  But don’t worry.  Arwen will take care of
you.  She is your mother now.  Perhaps one day we will meet again in Valinor,”
I answered though not entirely convinced with the last part.

“No, ada.  You must not go.  I don’t want Arwen.  I want you.”  I heard him
crying.
“Hush, child.  Don’t cry.  I love you with all my heart.  I will never abandon
you.  You will always be in my heart and mind.  I will think of you, always.”

~ Silence ~

“Son?”

~ Silence ~

“Answer me!” I called out louder as panic began to seep into me.

“Legolas.”  Another voice called out.  It was deep, yet kind.  I turned round
and round, trying to find the owner of this new voice until I felt too dizzy
and had to stop.

“Go back.  You’re not needed here.”

Before I could reply, a strong gust of wind suddenly blew out and knocked me
back.  Then darkness took over.


~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~


30.	Naming The Baby

The long arduous journey to nowhere was draining my life force quickly.  Every
fiber of muscle and every coherent part of my brain seemed to move in slow
motion.  I felt like I was being cocooned inside a womb of thick mucous.  My
limbs were heavy and could not move; my mind was sluggish and could not
differentiate between reality and fantasy.  Even my heart rate had slowed
considerably while my breathing was somewhat abated.  It was quite suffocating
and frightening.

The constant shifting in and out of darkness and brightness added more
confusion.  At times, I thought I heard voices and even singing but I was not
sure.  Many images flitted in front of me as if I were running at top speed and
trying to see what was around me at the same time.  Many times I tried to grab
onto something just to anchor myself and stop my body from falling or drifting
away too quickly but my hands only grasped air and emptiness.

Nothing made sense to me.  To make matters worst, I was slow in my memory.  I
could not recall things fast enough.  Images flashed by and before I could
remember what or where or who, another took over.

“L….as,” I heard a garbled voice.  I strained my ears further but it was no
use.  I had fallen deeper into the abyss of darkness again.

“Pl…se c.…ba… us.”  What was that?  Who said that?

~ Darkness ~

“I lov……Lego..  Don……. me.”  Ai, why can’t I hear properly?

~ Darkness ~

“Your…..wants to…..you.”  That sounded like Arwen.  Looks like I’m recovering
enough to hear that.

~ Dimness ~

“Legolas.”  Ai, such a beautiful voice.  It is so soothing.  Please say it
again and again.  I shall never tire of that.

~ More light.  Blurred images ~

“Legolas.”  I would love to see those lips form my name and the tongue
emphasizing every letter.

“Can you hear me?” I searched for the source of that voice.  Light began to
penetrate the darkness that was surrounding me, forming an image slowly until
my focus was sharp enough to recognise the person looming over me.

“…..dir,” was all I could whisper hoarsely.  My throat felt so dry and
irritated.  I coughed feebly and tried to moisten my parched lips.

I was not sure if what I saw was real.  Perhaps it was more of my recollection
of past.  Perhaps I was still suspended between death and my own memories.

“Here, drink this,” my friend said as he tipped my head up a bit and poured
some liquid onto my lips.  I was greedy and wanted to gulp down the water but
he would not allow it.  Instead he let me take sips slowly.

He was real.  The water was real.  Did it mean that I had returned from the
dead?

“Feeling better?” Haldir asked with a warm smile.

“Yes,” I managed to speak more easily.

“Good.  You have been in and out of consciousness for the past three days,”
Haldir continued while placing the half glass of water on the side table and
sitting at the edge of the bed.  A frown crinkled his forehead, marring his
beauty.

“You were so close to death, Legolas.  We were so sure we lost you that night,”
his voice sounded choked up.  “You even stopped breathing.  Don’t ever do that
again!” he half-yelled at me and the dam burst.  His shoulders shook violently
as he cried.

I was truly shocked by his display of vulnerability.  Haldir, the bravest
Marchwarden in Lorien never – EVER – showed his fear.  I could not fathom his
emotional behaviour.  He seemed to have changed so much since my disappearance.

“Come here,” I managed to whisper hoarsely.  As Haldir laid his head on my
chest, I lifted my arms with tremendous effort and circled around his
shoulders.  I wanted to hug him tight but the earlier effort had sapped me
completely.

Haldir was still crying and I let him.  He needed to let go of his
frustrations.  In all my years of knowing him, Haldir never cried, at least I
had never seen him cry.  The poor elf had just too much burden in him.

On the other hand, I did not shed a tear.  Perhaps I was too dehydrated to be
able to.  However, my heart felt heavy and painful to see him like this.

“It is all right, Haldir,” I whispered to him.  “I’m here.  Not going
anywhere.”  My fingers began to play with his hair, enjoying the feather
softness.  This was the one and only time I would ever feel it without his
knowledge.  It would be awkward next time if I were to suddenly just grab his
hair to touch it.

Soon the cries mellowed to sniffles and finally hitched breath.  Haldir had
fallen asleep on top of me.  Knowing him, he had probably stayed beside me all
this time until I woke.  At any other time, I would have relished the feel of
his head and heavy torso on my chest but as I was still weak, the weight was
crushing me.  I had to breathe deliberately just to have air in my lungs.

Being too kind and taking pity on my friend, I did not attempt to wake him up. 
There were also other motives for which I did not want to break this unexpected
intoxicating moment.  Mostly out of selfishness of my heart and addiction to
this new sensation in my body, I would rather suffer the discomfort just to be
this close.

I had probably fallen asleep myself because I woke up to the feel of someone
caressing my forehead.  The action triggered ugly memories and I was fully
awake instantly, eyes wide with panic.  My heart thumped furiously as I looked
up.

“Legolas, it’s me, Haldir,” my friend quickly assured me.  Hearing that voice
and seeing him let me breathe easy again.  “Are you all right?  If you’re in
any pain, let me know.  Bronwe had left some herbs for you just in case.”

“I’m all right.  Just a mild throbbing ache,” I gulped in relief.  “How are you
doing?”  

I looked at Haldir, searching his face for hints of more distress but ended up
staring at him openly, admiring his features.  Realizing my shameless
brazenness, I averted my eyes.

“I’m sorry I was ……. heavy….on you,” Haldir struggled to say the right word but
had opted for something with a hint instead.  I smiled at his endeavor to cover
up his ‘little’ secret.

“Well, you were quite heavy.  I could hardly breathe,” I quipped, trying to put
him at ease.  He seemed so awkward at the moment.  Haldir broke out a shy
smile.  Then there was a moment of silence as each of us was trying to find
something to talk about.

“Where’s my son?” I started first.  Haldir looked surprised at what I had just
said.

“How did you know your baby’s gender?”

“I don’t know how.  I just know,” I shrugged.  I did not want to tell him that
it was my baby who had brought me back from Mandos’ realm.  No one would
believe me anyway.

“Arwen should be here soon.  She had sent the baby to a nursemaid,” Haldir
explained with a wink.  “She brought him here everyday, just to make sure you
would see him when you woke up.  Are you excited?”

“I guess so.”  I felt a little apprehensive, not knowing what to do when I met
my son.  Would I be a good parent?  How was I going to deal with his daily
necessities?  Should I get someone to help me or do everything myself?  So many
questions.

Most importantly, would the baby accept me?  After all, I had disappointed him
once even before I met him.  I let out a defeated sigh.  I was such a failure. 
Already I had made an enemy of my own child.  I should have stayed back in
Mandos’ Realm.  He would have to let me in eventually.  At least I could have
gotten away from Estel, my family and my son’s disappointments and torturing
myself mooning over Haldir.  It was a cowardly way out but at that moment, I
just didn’t have the energy and will power to fight them.

There was a soft knock on the door.  Haldir went to open it and admitted Arwen
in.  She was carrying a bundle of cloth in her arms.  In a rare occasion, Arwen
actually beamed brightly as if she was a new mother.

“Legolas, you’re awake.  Want to meet your son?” she chirped gaily.  I nodded
and tried to smile, to hide my nervousness.

Haldir helped me to sit up as my lower abdomen still hurt when I exerted my
muscles.  He placed two pillows on the headboard before propping me against
them.  Then Arwen placed the bundle in my waiting arms. 

What I saw inside that swaddle of cloth took my breath away.  I had never in my
life imagined seeing such a small and delicate little thing, squirming in
irritation.  I did not cry but tears rolled off my cheeks anyway.  I felt so
pathetic yet overwhelmingly happy.

For the very first time, I met my son.  In my heart, I thanked every Vala that
I could remember for giving me this chance to see my son’s face.  Finally, a
miracle had happened for me.

He looked so adorable without a single wrinkle on his face.  His eyes were
closed, probably he had some of his sire’s human traits but he definitely had
pointed ears, as a true elf should.  The sparse hair on his head was blond.

“He looks so much like you,” Arwen cooed.  “And his eyes is blue.”

As if on cue, the baby opened his eyes and looked straight into mine.  I was as
completely mesmerized by that pair of big, sparkling blue eyes as they were
likewise mesmerized by me.  Then I thought I saw a knowing look cross his face
but I was probably imagining it.  I was just totally entranced by the sight of
him.

I brought up a finger wanting to touch his chubby cheeks and soft hair but he
lifted a hand and grabbed my finger instead.  I gasped, seeing the tiny
fingers.  He was so fragile, vulnerable and totally dependent on me to take
care of him.  The paternal side of me suddenly kicked in.  I vowed never to let
anyone harm a single hair on his head.

I looked up at Arwen and Haldir who crowded beside me, smiling comically and
making baby noises.  I had to laugh at their silliness.

“Thank you, both of you,” I said, unable to name all the things that they had
done for me.  It would have taken hours just to list them.

“What would you name him?” Haldir asked.

I looked at my son again.  He seemed to understand what was going on.  Beaming
happily, I brought the bundle closer to my face.  Immediately, I caught a whiff
of him – he had that baby’s fresh, sweet smell and a hint of milk.  Placing his
ear close to my mouth, I whispered to him.

“From this day forth, you shall be named Adarorn.  It means Lord of the Trees.”

A happy gurgle erupted from him that made me giggle in delight.  Then I looked
up at my friends’ expectant faces.

“Haldir, Arwen, meet Adarorn son of Legolas,” I announced proudly and purposely
leaving out Estel’s rightful claim to my child.  It was a happy occasion, why
spoil it?  My friends congratulated me profusely.

Soon, the news spread among my other friends and the talan was suddenly full of
people.  Lord Celeborn had brought a bottle of vintage red wine and we shared a
cup each, toasting my good health and welcoming Adarorn to Middle Earth.

However, the celebration was short lived as Bronwe soon shooed everyone out so
that I could have more rest.  I protested but the stern healer would hear none
of it.  Even Adarorn was not allowed to accompany me.  Bronwe was most
insistent that I get a good night’s sleep because he was anxious that I had not
healed as fast as an elf should.

Only Haldir was allowed to stay and protect me.  Even though Estel was heavily
guarded, Haldir did not trust for my safety.  I would have objected to this
unnecessary protectiveness but I agreed anyway, just to spend more time with
him until he has to return to his own life and to the object of his affections.

Estel was allowed to stay in Lorien for the moment because he insisted on
discussing the matters of my son and me.  Thankfully, Lord Celeborn had come up
with enough excuses to delay the meetings.

Besides getting to see my son, Haldir had also informed me of more good news. 
The fact that I had stopped breathing that night of birthing, I was officially
declared dead despite that I was revived later on.  Under this unusual
circumstance, my bond with Estel was officially severed.  Being alive again
meant that I was another person and such as that, the old Legolas no longer
existed.

This rule of forfeiture existed but it was never put in practiced as no one
with such a bond ever returned from the Halls of Waiting.  Therefore, I was
free again.  My only ties to Estel were through our son.  However, I was
determined to protect Adarorn from him.

Unfortunately, not all news was good news.  I had learned that Arwen would soon
be sailing for Valinor.  It was now up to me to decide whether to let her take
Adarorn away to safety forever or escape to Mirkwood and use my family to
shield Adarorn from Estel.  Either way, it would affect my son’s life
adversely.

I might have peace of mind that Adarorn would be safe in Valinor until I sailed
over to meet him though I would miss him terribly and I was not sure if he
would accept me as his adar when I saw him again.  I was afraid that he would
reject me for my selfishness in leaving him to someone else.  Taking him to
Mirkwood meant that he would never have real freedom, always afraid that his
sire would kidnap him from me.

For the time being, I was unwilling to sail to Valinor until I had returned to
Mirkwood to see my family again.  If I were to go with Arwen without reassuring
my adar that I was alive and well, he would declare war on Gondor.  The
relations between men and elves were already precarious and mostly tolerated. 
My running away for the safe haven would cause misunderstanding that my life
was in so much danger that I must seek Valinor in order to survive.
What should I do?  This decision was so difficult to make because it would
affect many people.  Good or bad I would have to bear the brunt of it in time
to co


~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~


31.  Kidnapped.

Adarorn was like a bright beacon in my life.  His inner light was so strong
that I kept being drawn to him like a moth to lights.  I wished my adar and
muindyr (brothers) could meet him now.  I was sure they would love him just as
much.

The bond between Adarorn and me was strong from the start and now that we had
met each other, it was even moreso.  The intimacies that we shared were special
because every gesture and every facial expression that he made was just for me.

It was heart-warming to find him responding fully to my voice.  Whenever I
talked to him, he would stare at me as if enraptured by me.  When I sang, he
would fall asleep easily, assured that I would protect him from harm.  I felt
honoured that Adarorn had placed his full trust in me.

Amazingly, Adarorn had also captured the hearts of others.  I must admit it was
difficult not to fall in love with him.  It was most entertaining (though I
would never say it out loud) to find such a tiny baby wielding the power and
charm to reduce adults of millennia in age into silly gibbering fools.  Even
Lord Celeborn fell victim as he made funny faces and strange noises just to
amuse the baby.

Unknowingly to the others, I noticed that the saddest person even compared to
me was Arwen.  I could see the longings in her eyes and sadness that she would
never produce a bundle of joy for herself.  I pitied her deeply and was almost
swayed to give up Adarorn to her.

I still had time to decide before she left.  Now, I just wanted to enjoy the
happiness and forget about my past.

Being still weak and not yet healed properly, I was not allowed to sit up
without help.  Bronwe was afraid that my exertion would break the stitches
open.  Therefore, the baby was passed between Haldir and me.  While I kept the
baby sleeping soundly most of the time, whenever he needed to be changed, I
would pass him to Haldir.

I hate laughing at my friend seeing him scrunch up his face in disgust and
fumbling to change the cloth.  Who would have thought that a small little thing
could stink so terribly, almost toppling a great warrior.  However, Haldir
learned fast and was soon able to do it without trouble.

I really admired Haldir.  He was so good with Adarorn and had the patience to
deal with him.  Someday he would make a good father.

Besides the baby, Haldir had to help me too.  Whenever I needed to use the
bathroom, he had to carry me back and forth.  He also had to keep me clean. 
Usually I would wipe myself with the towel that he had wetted except on spots
where I could not reach without pulling my muscles.

It was embarrassing enough to be so helpless even to the most basic necessities
and added to the fact that I had to be naked in Haldir’s presence was even
worse.  With my secret attraction for him, I just hoped that I would not
humiliate myself even more by responding to his touches.

Estel was never allowed to be anywhere near us since the birth.  As he had
already had the chance to take a look at Adarorn at that time, he was banned
from any form of contact with me afterwards.  I was greatly relieved not to see
him again.  I really did not know how I would react if I saw him again so soon.

Even though I felt very safe with Haldir constantly by my side, protecting us,
I was still a bit afraid because Estel would never give up so easily.  He was
the sire of the child after all and Adarorn was the future heir of Gondor.

By the sixth day, I was allowed to get out of bed.  The wound in my belly had
healed and only left a thin pink line.  Bronwe had assured me that the scar
would disappear and to achieve that even faster, I had to apply a salve to it
every day.

Free to walk about again, I was tempted to go outside and roam amongst the
forest of Mellyrn.  Haldir had promised me that he would bring me around as
soon as I had enough energy to get down the stairs.  I was looking forward to
it because ever since I had been here, I still had yet to see Lothlorien.

~*~  ~*~  ~*~

Today was the day that Arwen would sail away.  It had been nine days since I
had been allowed to walk and fifteen days since Adarorn’s birth.  I was
surprised to learn that she was leaving so soon.  I had hoped she would choose
to go after the ‘Great Autumn Festival’.  It looked like she was anxious to get
away from Middle Earth, more so away from Aragorn.

Up till now, I still had not decided what to do with Adarorn.  I was really
torn between giving him away and keeping him to myself.  It was a difficult
decision to make.

With each day added to my time spent with Adarorn, I grew more attached to him.
 Our bonding was increasingly becoming stronger and it was hard to be apart
from him even for a mere moment.

I had requested that Adarorn stay with me from the day that I was able to walk
by myself.  I had even learned from Arwen and the nursemaid how to take care of
my baby – changing him, bathing him and even burping him after the feeding.  I
had personally taken Adarorn to the nursemaid whenever he needed to be fed.  It
was harder the first few days because I had to learn everything from scratch
but I was determined.  So far, everything was easy except the feeding because I
had to go to the nursemaid every few hours.  The long walks exhausted me
easily.

And now I had to make up my mind – quickly.  I had just told a very reluctant
Haldir to escort Arwen to the jetty where the ship would be waiting.  They were
good friends and she should not leave without bidding farewell to her friends. 
I also told Haldir to inform Arwen that I would be seeing her soon with my
decision.

Haldir knew how tormented I was.  He sympathized with me, that I must make such
a big decision.  We both knew that whatever my decision was, I would get hurt
anyway.  If I let Arwen take Adarorn away, I would surely grieve for him and if
I kept Adarorn with me, I would feel guilty about endangering my son’s life and
also hurting Arwen’s feeling.  I could see that she wished to bring Adarorn
with her.  I was happy to see her love for my son, even though he was not her
own.

Faramir was adamant to stay with me while everyone else had gone to the jetty
to bid friends and families farewell.  Even though he had stayed for so long in
Lorien and made many friends, he was not really one of them.  He had stubbornly
insisted that he wanted to make sure that I was all right and would be able to
make it to the jetty without incident.  I was grateful for his company and it
was a good excuse to let Haldir see Arwen first.

“Let me change Adarorn’s clothes before we go to the jetty,” I said and carried
my son to the bathroom.

“I’ll be right here, Legolas,” Faramir replied and took one of the chair to sit
down.

I placed Adarorn on the small tabletop and began changing his clothes.  My mind
was still occupied, worrying incessantly how I should come to my decision.   
Unknowingly, I had dressed him up for long travels.

Looking down at him, I gasped in surprise.  It was a sign.  My hands had
reacted to what my mind was denying me all this while.  Tears began to flow
from my eyes.  Slipping a hand behind my son’s head, I brought him up and
placed him against my chest, resting his head against my shoulder.  I hugged
him tightly though careful not to crush him.

Adarorn gurgled cheerfully, happy to feel secure against me but my heart was
breaking and I was still crying.

Then I heard strange noises coming from the next room.  I whipped my head
toward the door, trying to see what was going on.

“Faramir?” I called out as I wiped my face dry.

No answer.

“Faramir?  What are you doing?  What’s that noise?” I called out again.

No answer.  I was getting worried.  Something must be wrong.  Faramir never
played jokes like that.

Taking my son with me, I cautiously eased close to the door.  I reverted to my
warrior’s instinct and my priority was to protect Adarorn.  I peered from the
doorframe and saw no one, not even Faramir.  I also did not hear anything.

I looked around the bathroom quickly for a weapon.  No luck.

My first thought was that somehow Aragorn had managed to escape from the
marchwardens.  How he did, I was not sure but he was resourceful enough. 
Staying in the bathroom was not an option.  I had to get out of the talan and
run to the jetty.  I must pass my son to Arwen before she sailed away.

I peered again and this time going slightly further to scan the room.  Then I
saw Faramir, or more accurately, his legs.  It was jutting out halfway from the
other side of the bed.  He seemed unconscious.

That was when I felt rather than saw, a cold steel blade against my throat.  I
dared not move and stayed frozen.  Suddenly, Aragorn appeared – hanging from
the ceiling.  He had apparently hidden himself just above the door to the
bathroom, where a low hanging branch had protruded.

At this point I was not sure if Aragorn still wish me to live and to take me
back to Gondor.  However, I did not want to find out.  My first priority was to
make sure that Adarorn arrives safely into Arwen’s arms.

With an agility of a man trained by elves, he landed gracefully in front of me.
 He looked haggard and small droplets of blood stained his tunic.  I saw
several superficial slash wound on his arms.  An evil sneer appeared on his
face as he took in my shocked expression.

Realizing that, I straightened, despite the sharp edge of the blade still on my
skin.  I would not let this man take my life and my son away again.  With a new
determination, I faced him boldly.

“Good that you are up and about.  I was wondering how you have been recovering.
 Did you miss me?” he smirked arrogantly.
“What do you want … Aragorn?” I said calmly and with a hint of hostility.  I
had reverted to using his real name.

“My, my.  My beautiful consort is really rebellious now,” the man sneered,
closing the distance of his face to mine.

“I am no longer your consort, Aragorn,” I answered coolly.  “And you can forget
about getting you hands on Adarorn.  I will not let you,” I added and pressed
my son closer to me.  Luckily, throughout the whole time, the baby did not make
a fuss.

“Ah, so you named our son Adarorn.  Adarorn, son of Aragorn.  Hhhmmm……has a
nice ring to it.  You have chosen well,” he approved readily.

I bristled at the mention of his claim on my son.  Taking a chance that Aragorn
still wanted me alive, I caused a distraction.  Pulling my torso back suddenly,
I made use of his momentary stunned hesitation by lashing out my right leg and
swept his feet from underneath him.

Aragorn landed with a thud on the floor.  For the first time, I saw the knife
he was holding.  It was stained with blood.  To my horror, I realised that he
had probably used that knife to kill Faramir.

The man recovered quickly but I was quicker.  I jumped past him and bolted for
the door.  The sudden jerky movements had startled Adarorn and he began wailing
in terror.  However, before I even stepped pass the door, a pair of hands had
grabbed my ankles and pulled me back.

I was falling but before landing on the floor, I twisted my body so that I
would land – hard – on my back with Adarorn safe on my chest.  I hissed audibly
when my head knocked back on the wooden floor.  When Aragorn tried to lunge for
me, I swiftly lifted one of my legs and kicked him on his face.  I had probably
broken his nose because suddenly, he grunted in pain and backed away slightly
while nursing his nose.

Amazingly, the man recovered very quickly and he was on me again.  That was
when I saw blood smeared around his nose.  I tried to roll away and get up but
Aragorn pounced on me from the back, causing me to land back down on the floor.
 This time I used my elbows to avoid crashing entirely on the floor and
crushing Adarorn underneath me.

I was getting frantic because the baby was crying hysterically and my elbows
hurt badly.  I couldn’t get up because Aragorn was still on top of me.  I had
wanted to use the back of my hand to swat him on the face but my injured elbows
refused to give way.

I tried kicking but it was of no use because Aragorn placed his full weight on
my lower back, pressing my belly down on the floor.  I was becoming desperate. 
There was only one thing left to do.  I shove Adarorn away from me and then
twisted back to face Aragorn.

Gritting my teeth from the pain on my right elbow, I packed a full punch onto
Aragorn’s jaw.  However, the pain hindered me from putting full strength to
topple the man back.  The punch had angered Aragorn and a brutal blow was
retaliated on me.

I saw stars appear in my eyes but I tried to recover quickly though not fast
enough.  Another punch hit squarely on my cheek again, followed by another on
the side of my head.

My vision was dimming and everything I saw was swimming.  I was afraid that I
was losing consciousness.  Then a very sharp pain erupted on my temple, near my
left eye.  The last thing I saw was blood pooling around Faramir’s body.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

As I was drifting back to consciousness, the first thing that overwhelmed my
entire physical and mental state was that my head about to burst like mushrooms
ready to spore.

Worst of all the pulsing refused to stop.  It got so bad that I was nauseous
and my eyes hurt even to stare/look.

I squinted several times to adjust my line of vision and accidentally cracking
crusted dried blood that had formed on the left side of the face.

When I was finally conscious enough to get my bearings, to my rude shock, I had
found myself suspended upside down, over a broad shoulder.  I was also moving
though more precisely, bouncing.

From the colour of the tunic I was staring directly at, it was Aragorn’s.

Where was he taking me?  Where was Adarorn?  I began to panic.

I tried to get up but the stiff and ache in my body would not allow it.  I
tried moving my hands instead to see if I could shove off him, but ALL my limbs
could not move.  He had bound my hands behind my back and had probably done the
same to my legs.  So, I tried to scream to catch anyone’s attention but finally
realised the gag around my mouth muffled everything.

Dread and terror had me in a vice like grip.  I was being taken back to Gondor.
 What should I do now?

THE END


~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~   ~@~


AUTHOR’S NOTE

Firstly I would like to thank my anonymous psychology mentor (^_^  she’s shy!)
for helping me in establishing the reasons behind Aragorn’s insane behaviour
and mind.  This is what I had put together:

~@~     ~@~     ~@~     ~@~     ~@~

Aragorn was human, though he has a small amount of elven blood running in his
veins.  His mother had fled to Rivendell when he was a mere babe and before
dying had requested Lord Elrond to take care of the baby and treat him as a
foster son.

Due to his lineage and an important role that he was obligated to fulfill when
the time comes, Lord Elrond had to ensure that the man was fully equipped when
that moment arrived.

Hence, the child grew up under strict supervision.  Everything that he did –
his movements, his training, his education – in fact his whole life was
dictated by a stern and firm elven foster father.

As a child, he had a disadvantage over his other friends and families – he was
not pure elven.  He was constantly being taunted by others – that he was
clumsy, ugly and weak.  In general, he was of inferior race, a great failure
from Isildur and a weakling of the once proud Numenorian line.  He vowed that
he would change all that.

This control had caused a very unhappy child.  Hatred and anger blossomed in
his heart and rebelliousness began to surface.  The fact that Lord Elrond still
had an authority over Aragorn as he had not reached his majority, the youth
kept his defiance to himself.  Yet, he loved his foster father and was
constantly trying to live up to the high standards Elrond set.  In his own
mind, though, he never even came close, and resented the elves for their
perfection.

On the day that the man was officially heralded as the King of men and a ruler
in Gondor, he was also given the last command from a loving foster father. 
Lord Elrond had given his only daughter – the bright Evenstar of her people,
Arwen – to Aragorn’s hand in marriage.  This seemed the best way to keep the
kingdoms of men and elves united, but all Aragorn saw was another way for
Elrond to control him through Arwen.

Now King Elessar had had enough of being ordered around.  He began to show
defiance though subtle.  Being of brilliant mind, he knew he needed the support
of the elves in order to have peace and prosperity in Middle Earth.

His first act of rebellion was on the night of his wedding.  He made it very
clear to his queen that he would never take her to his bed.  The King had a
preference for male companionship.

To save everyone’s pride, this shocking secret never made it outside the King’s
chamber.  Queen Arwen was miserable but she never took a lover and neither did
she detest the men who came in and out of her mate’s chamber.  At least they
were not women who could accidentally bear him an heir.

The matter of an heir made things complicated.  King Elessar wanted an heir but
he refused adamantly to bed his wife to achieve that.  To do so would be to
once again give in to Elrond's will, taking the power of the throne of Gondor
closer to the elves.  But, something must be done.  He came up with the best
possible excuse that could give him time to find a solution – he informed his
advisors that his Queen was barren but he was not ready to take a consort to
give him that heir.  He loved her too much to betray her in that manner.

Hearing the lies, Queen Arwen flew into a rage.  They had a heated argument
that ended up with the queen fleeing to Lorien to seek solitude and calm her
aching heart.

About a month later, Elessar’s prayer was answered.  He caught wind of an
unrivaled beauty residing in Mirkwood.  From what he heard, the said elf was of
royal blood – the youngest prince to King Thranduil; a very rich and powerful
Elven King.  

Being used to handling power and wealth; pampered by the luxury of everyone
obeying his every command, the idea of being a ruler over men and elves
corrupted his mind.  Blame it on his weak human traits if one wants; King
Elessar was becoming power hungry.  He would show the arrogant elves that he
would have the last laugh.

Meeting Prince Legolas for the first time strengthened that resolve.  He would
take the young prince, break him to will and in time, even make him carry an
heir for him for he had heard of a powerful wizard called Saruman who might be
able to help him in this matter.

King Elessar became obsessed with the elven prince.  He must have that elf
before anyone did.  To confirm his fear, he saw with his own eyes that the
marchwarden from Lorien – Haldir – sneaking into the prince’s chamber at night.
 He was furiously angry and filled with malicious intentions.  He must act
quickly before his ‘possession’ became too tainted for his royal use.
 
When Legolas was finally in his hands, he found that he had a new obsession. 
During the process of breaking him, he realised that he relished the sight of
seeing Legolas crying and in fear of him.  Even though the weak prince made an
effort to be fearless, he could see in his eyes – the terror and pain reflected
on those beautiful azure eyes.

An idea struck in his mind.  To have absolute control and dictation over a
Firstborn was exhilarating.  Whenever Legolas did try to rebel against him, it
only fueled his excitement and his violence.  And he needed to confuse Legolas,
to make his breaking sweeter.

Thus the story behind the man of mask.  A dangerous player who was waiting for
the right moment to strike with ferocity.

====================

Well, hope you have enjoyed it so far.  ^_^  Check out my site for some
explanation concerning the sequels.  Thanks.