Title: What You Leave Behind: Part Two - The Child That Was Left Behind Author: Rion armand_the_covenmaster@yahoo.com Pairing: Legolas/Elrond implied. Rating: NC-17. For Language used and certain adult themes. Disclaimer: Not Mine. All Tolkien’s. I make no cash. Warning: Mild Language, angst, abandonment of a child, and MPREG. Dun like it. Tough. Deal with it. Author’s note: Same as last time…this one’s full of angst. And involves a twist at the end. If I told you what it was, it’d spoil it so…anyway. What You Leave Behind: Part two…The Child That Was Left Behind --------------------------------------------------------------------------- - To Whom It May Concern: You know when they say, “No Child Will be left behind…” Do you believe them? I certainly did. But I still got left behind. My father, the Crowned Prince of Mirkwood, had been redeemed and returned home to take his place at HIS father’s side…He gave no consideration to what was to be done with me. I was left behind in Rivendell under Lord Elrond’s care. Don’t get me wrong, Elrond is a kind man and a loving father…but I wish I could have gone with Legolas. Rivendell, or Imladris as it is lovingly called by the folk who dwell here, is a beautiful place. It saddens me to know that the time of the Elves is drawing to a close. After all that has transpired in the last half a century since my birth, I think we should really stay for a little while longer…just to see what Men are capable of. But my father disagrees…he says this is a time for Men and their world. The Realm of Myth and Magic has no place here anymore. We will go into the West and Diminish, as was foretold…or some sort of hocus pocus mumbo jumbo. I stopped listening when I turned 60. I haven’t seen Legolas in that same amount of time. He hasn’t written, sent riders…to see how I am doing, what I’m doing…etc. Doesn’t he care? Or am I reminder of a time that is just too painful to recall, so he’d just as soon forget I exist? What kind of father just turns his back on his son? Even Thranduil isn’t that cold hearted. I wonder how he sleeps at night. I wonder how he can look himself in the mirror everyday and not feel guilty. He had a good deal in Rivendell. And he threw it all away for some petty feud between the races. What floors me though is the fact that Elrond forgave him. He FORGAVE the bastard….Oh, sure, Elrond was devastated that Legolas left…but what about me? What about his son? Elrond was always there, but it was superficial. Everyone was so superficial. I can still hear the whispers, see their faces. They shunned me. I was an abomination. Fuck them. I maybe a mutt, but I’m just as much an Elf as they. I went to see him, you know…Needless to say, he was mortified that I actually possessed the fortitude to make the journey and confront him in front of his whole court. I thought he’d have me put to death for a moment, but no. He pulled me aside…to talk to me. Talk at me, more like. We spent many hours talking, all through the night. I had arrived around midday. But when the sun’s rays started creeping up over the trees, he told me to return to Rivendell. That was my home…not here, not with him. He was ashamed of me, though he denied it… There are some things you can just tell about people. I was his dark, dirty little secret. Well, if that’s how he felt…so be it. I did as I was told and left, but I didn’t return to Rivendell. I didn’t go near Loth Lorien. Instead, I headed away from everything, south and east. And here I sit. I sent my horse away. I have no intention of ever returning home. They never wanted me around to begin with. They’ve made as much apparent. The blood is on their hands now. I’m sick and tired of being shunned and turned away. To love thine own…isn’t that one of their precious edicts? Well, now…I will address you, my beloved Fathers. Elrond, you always taught that every child is precious…EVERY child. What about me? I’m not the twins or Arwen…but I am still YOUR son. And Legolas…How dare you….How DARE you turn your back on me. You’re ashamed of me? Well, I’m ashamed of you. I’m ashamed I come from such a disgusting lineage. Elrond was right about you Sindarin Types…the second things get weird, you tuck tail and run back to your precious forests. You’re a coward. I hate you. Instead of stepping up, you ran. You left me behind after you swore you wouldn’t. I wonder how Aragorn calls you friend, being as two faced as you are. You’re a horrible person. Elrond can escape fault in this. He tried to give me a good life, but he can’t help what his people think, what his other children think. But you, Legolas Thranduilion of Mirkwood, you can‘t escape this. The blame rests on your shoulders. Mark my words….You will never live this down and you will live with the guilt of know that you destroyed your own flesh and blood. Do you even know how much I have endured because of this? Sure, it can’t compare with what happened during the Watchful Peace, or during the Battle for Middle Earth. But still…does that lessen the effect of my suffering? I’ve had it pretty good, yes. I’ve never known what it’s like to lose a friend in battle. Hell, I’ve never even seen a battle field. I have you to thank for that. Do you even know what it’s like for a child to never know where they came from? Do you know what kind of hell that is? I can say now that I am not who I was meant to be. I’m a terrible, bitter person. Did you even kiss me goodbye? Did you ever hug me? I can’t remember. I don’t remember anything anymore. My earliest memory is of you, Ada, riding away. I chased you, you know…I trailed you for miles, until I couldn’t anymore. I kept telling myself, you’d come back for me. For years, I waited. But you never came. Another birthday, rolled around…still, no word. I’m tired, Ada…I’m so tired. I don’t want to hate anymore, but I can’t help it. I hate you so much. I never knew an elf could harbor a capacity for so much hate. You betrayed me. I worshipped the ground you walked on. I loved you, once, with ever fiber of my being…but you failed me. You failed me. But I know one thing. I will not make the mistakes you did. Can you even call that a mistake? I was so young. How could you do this? How could you….you selfish prick. Did you ever stop to think about those you were hurting? Elrond, your father, me…Elrond loved you. Your father loved you…I loved you… I know I’m being repetitive, but it’s how I feel. Well, the blood’s on your hands, as I’ve stated before. I hope you’re happy. You’re finally rid of your shameful past. I never thought I’d die alone. It’s better this way. I can’t bear to see the hurt I’ll cause my dearest Elrond, the beloved father who showed me what one person isn’t worth dying for. But I can’t go on like this. So, I’m sorry. I hope you’ll forgive me. And on that note, I say goodbye to those I love and cherish. This wasn’t your fault. Maldulin, son of Elrond. ------------------------------------------------------------- The Boy had made two copies of his morbid letter and had them sent out prior to leaving Imladris, with instructions not to open until one month after he had departed. One went to Legolas, and one to Elrond. News had spread quickly of the boy’s demise after the letters had been revealed. It was a dark day for Rivendell. Elrond had sent out search parties to look for his son. They returned with a body. It was a shame that such a young life had to be taken from them. A funeral was arranged. Many came from far and wide to mourne the loss of Rivendell’s most promising, and Mirkwood’s heir. There was one not in attendance, one who could not bear to face the truth. A father mourned the loss of something he never had. Therein lies a couple lessons. You never know what you have until it’s gone. Very cliché, but true. No one is ever worth making your everything. They might be family, friends, whatever…but they’re not worth your life. Even Immortal, life is still so very precious, so very fragile. So don’t waste it. ----------------------------------- Author’s Final Note: I recently had a friend go through a similar situation with his father. He didn’t kill himself, but his death was just as horrible. He died serving our country in Iraq, needlessly, of course. He wasn’t supposed to go out that day, but he did anyway. I attended his funeral and his father, who he worshipped above all others, wasn’t in attendance. He had opted not to come because his son was gay. I’m not gonna rant. But, that just wasn’t right. At all. So, remember this, love your children…be they gay, straight, whatever. They’re a gift from the gods. July 29, 2006