Title: Tenna' San'
Author: Claire (Corliamat@aol.com)
Pairing: Gandalf/Legolas
Summary: Legolas is grieving over the 'death' of his lover. 
Archive: Be honoured, just let me know where it's off to.
Feedback: Would be appreciated
Disclaimer: I own no recognised characters or places.
Author's notes: I wrote an Ian/Orli RPS a little while ago. Since then, I 
haven't been able to get the pair out of my head. Plus.....I'm a sucker for 
romance :o)



Tenna' San'

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The fellowship finally began to settle down for the night. After the  initial 
audience with Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn, they had been  escorted 
to allocated bathing areas, in order to freshen up before  dining. Now, the 
mental and physical exhaustion started to take its toll as they began to 
fully relax for the first time since their departure from Rivendell.

A haunting lament for the fallen istar permeated the air as Aragorn and 
Legolas made their way over to the hobbits. 

"How fare you Sam?", the archer softly inqured, kneeling beside the 
hobbit.

"I am alright Mr. Legolas. I worry for Frodo. He's been so quiet and 
withdrawn since......."

Sam lowered his eyes, his distressed heart refusing him leave to finish his 
sentence.

Aragorn sat to the other side of Sam, smiling kindly and touching a hand 
to his shoulder.

He glanced quickly over to the, apparently, sleeping form of Frodo, before 
turning his attention back to the ring bearer's closest companion.

"This is a trying time for us all master Gamgee", Aragorn soothed, his soul 
saddened by the tears flowing freely now down Sam's cheeks. He 
continued with his words of solace.

"Each one of us holds a heavy grief in his heart, and we all cope with it in 
our own way. Frodo was very close to Gandalf. This has hit him harder 
than any of us."

Legolas felt his throat tighten as he listened to Aragorn's words. Closing 
his eyes momentarily to steel his emotions, he spoke once again to the 
openly weeping Sam.

"Do not worry so my friend. Your bond of friendship with Frodo is solid. 
You will gain strength from eachother during this time of grief."

Sam nodded, quietly thanking each of them for their words, before rising 
and taking his place beside Frodo in sleep.

Legolas and Aragorn stood, casting their collective gaze upon the 
huddled forms of Merry and Pippin,who were clinging to eachother in their 
repose.

"Master Took cried himself into exhaustion this night", Aragorn murmered. 
"He blames himself completely for Gandalf's fall. He'll hear no words of 
contradiction to his contrition."

Legolas let out a long and shuddering sigh as he turned to face his old 
friend.

"How are you bearing up?"

Aragorn met Legolas' gaze at the question.

"To be brutally honest", the ranger sighed, "I do not know. Aside from my 
grief I find my thoughts plagued with new concerns. The leadership has 
now fallen upon my shoulders, and I am unsure if I can take the weight of 
responsibility."

" Do you fear of succumbing to the temptation of the ring?", Legolas softly 
asked, his sapphire gaze never wavering from Aragorn's grey and 
troubled eyes.

"That is one of my concerns", he answered honestly. " I am a ranger 
Legolas. I am used to making decisions that affect only the life of myself 
in battle. Now I am responsible for seven others, three of whom have no 
combat or survival experience. I cannot help but feel I am not up to the 
task."

Legolas smiled warmly at his friend, reaching a hand up to rest upon the 
man's shoulder.

"You are strong of spirit and mind Estel. Do not think on it. I know you, I 
have fought alongside you for many years. When the right decision has to 
be made, you will make it. Of that I have no doubt. You do not bear this 
burden alone, we each share a responsibility to one another."

Legolas lowered his hand, his long fingers gently stroking the jewel laying 
upon the man's chest. His eyes left the token, finding their place once 
again within the depths of the grey orbs in front of him."She has faith in 
you", he smiled softly. "She always has and always will. In your times of 
doubt, draw strength from that certainty."

Aragorn mirrored his friend's smile. "I would die for her."

Legolas' expression broke into a grin. "I think, on the whole, she would 
prefer you to live for her."

Aragorn chuckled. "I will try my hardest to do just that."

Legolas bowed slightly in acknowledgement, stepping back from his 
friend.

"I will let you get some rest", the archer voiced. "I will be near if needed."

"Very well my friend", Aragorn smiled, placing his hand tenderly on 
Legolas' shoulder. " I will speak briefly with Boromir before bedding down. 
I will see you tomorrow?"

Legolas nodded briefly. "Indeed you will Estel. I bid you goodnight."

Aragorn watched his friend's departure with sadness in his eyes. Sighing 
heavily, he turned to make his way over to Boromir.

---------------------

Legolas wandered the woodland city until he found an unoccupied 
clearing by the side of a small stream. He sat down underneath a tree, 
leaning his head back as the haunting and sorrowful lament washed over 
him. Finally he slid his body down and lay on his side, his left hand 
reaching out to idly stroke the grass in front of him. The lament continued, 
seeming to grow louder and louder until Legolas could feel it slamming 
into his body like a physical force. His face contorted in pain as he curled 
into a fetal position, his hands instinctively crossing over his chest in a 
futile attempt to quell the wrenching pain in his heart.

"Gandalf!", he sobbed. "No...........no........no......."

Legolas voice had broken to a choked whisper, his tears falling in a 
torrent over his face, sinking into the soft earth below. His mouth 
shuddered with the effort as he tried in vain to control the despair 
engulfing him from within.

"I cannot.....", he wept.

He had kept his emotions in check since that fateful event. The shock of 
witnessing Gandalf fall to the Balrog had helped in a macabre way. His 
mind and emotions could not deal with the scene they beheld, so had 
retreated into a stunned state of denial, enabling him to assist Aragorn in 
his task of rallying the fellowship to the safety of Lothlorien. But it could 
not last forever, Legolas knew this. The pain in his heart had begun to 
steadily throb as they were being led to the city by the 'Lorien wardens. It 
had taken every ounce of strength and willpower Legolas possessed not 
to collapse when Lady Galadriel had fixed him with her sorrowful stare. 
She knew. She had always known. The fellowship were not told for fear of 
the dark forces finding out and attempting to use the knowledge to their 
own advantage.

He had always loved Gandalf, even as a child. His father would laugh 
heartily at his son's excited countenance whenever he was told of an 
impending visit from his favourite Istar. Gandalf would never make it past 
the gate before being launched backward, his arms full of an excited, 
joyous elfling. 

Little Legolas was Gandalf's most loyal audience, marvelling at the 
magical fireworks and tricks the istar would entertain the children with. He 
would accompany the wizard on walks through Mirkwood's forest, 
learning the ways of nature, the language of the trees.

Their friendship had deepened upon Legolas reaching his majority. 
Gandalf perceived and treated the young elf as an equal. They had 
travelled many roads together, trusted each other's counsel. It was 
inevitable, to Legolas, that this deep devotion would mature into intense 
love. He had met many beings in his long life, forged a large number of 
true friendships, but no one had ever instigated anything akin to the depth 
of emotion he held for Mithrandir.

Legolas closed his eyes, finally giving in to the pain ravaging his body and 
soul.

Gandalf had been a part of his life for as long as he could remember. A 
life without his lover, his soul mate, would wither into nothing more than a 
painful existence. Legolas knew he would not last. The intense agony of 
emotions began to wear him down. His eyes still closed, tears still flowing, 
Legolas slipped into reverie, uncaring as to whether this would be his last.

---------------------------

Part two

For summary etc, please see chapter 1

----------


The surrounding light was bright enough to pierce the protection of 
Legolas' closed eye-lids, causing him to groan slightly at the discomfort. 
The unpleasant sensation stirred him slowly from his fitful slumber. 

Upon opening his eyes, Legolas was forced to squint, almost closing 
them once more. His previously heavy limbs felt light as he brought a 
hand up to shield his eyes from the enveloping brightness.

He stood shakily, feeling disoriented. His surroundings seemed to consist 
solely of this white luminescence. Legolas was unsure as to whether it 
was solid, causing him to stumble slightly, not trusting the ground beneath 
his feet.

'I do not understand', Legolas thought as he stood still, trying to adjust his 
senses to the new surroundings. He searched his thoughts, momentarily 
unbalanced by the bewildering environment.

"Is this Mandos?", he whispered. "Am I.......?

"No my Greenleaf. At least......not yet."

Legolas spun his body round to face the direction from which the familiar 
voice had come. His own vocal was scratched and shaking as he spoke 
the name of the one he dared not hope for.

"Gandalf?"

Legolas watched, wide-eyed, as his lover walked towards him, seemingly 
created from the surrounding white mass. Once grey hair was now a 
blindingly brilliant white, tumbling from his shoulders and face as a silken 
snowy waterfall. His white robe assumed to melt into the floor beneath as 
he moved. The wizard looked perplexed for a moment, his forehead 
creased in thought.

"Gandalf.........", he muttered to himself, before realisation lit up his eyes. 
"Ah yes........the grey."

Gandalf smiled warmly at Legolas, stopping before the stunned elf, 
reaching his hand up to cup Legolas' awed face.

"You must forgive me dear one", the wizard apologised softly, a deep 
sadness apparent in his eyes. "This place can be a 
little.........disorienting."

"Mithrandir", Legolas whispered, hesitatingly raising his fingers to brush 
against the istar's cheek.

A choked sob was the only warning Gandalf received before Legolas 
launched himself upon his lover, wrapping his arms tightly around the 
wizard, his tears soaking through the crisp white robe.

The pain wracking Legolas' soul began to dispell as Gandalf folded his 
arms around the elf's slender frame, his own tears now flowing freely.

Legolas tightened his grip slightly, nuzzling his face into Gandalf's neck, 
relishing in the familiar scent and sensation. 

"Oh Legolas", the wizard sighed, raising one hand to softly stroke his 
lover's hair. "Much of who I once was is but a blur to me. A myriad of 
tumbling and confusing images. My connection with you is the only true 
clarity I have.........Which brings me to why you are here. Why I insisted 
upon seeing you."

Legolas reluctantly withdrew from the warm embrace, stepping back 
slightly to face his love.

"You are fading my Greenleaf .....", Gandalf whispered, his voice hoarse 
with sadness, "...and I cannot allow that to happen."

Fresh tears began to stream steadily down Legolas' cheeks as he 
stepped forward. Taking the istar's hands in his own and entwining their 
fingers, Legolas rested his forehead upon that of his beloved.

"It is too difficult", he wept softly. "I have tried my love, I have tried so very 
hard. But the pain is too great. It overwhelms me. I cannot continue my 
life without you."

Legolas drew his head back, until he was almost nose to nose with 
Gandalf, locking his gaze with the wizards sad, tear filled eyes."I cannot", 
he reiterated in a whisper.

Their lips met slowly, in a soft sweet kiss. The familiar and welcome taste 
of each other mingled with the bitter salt of their tears.

Gandalf sighed heavily as Legolas once again immersed himself within 
the wizard's arms. "Legolas, you must not fade. It is not your time."

The archer made no sound, showing his dismay by tightening his grip on 
Gandalf.

"Greenleaf, you must listen to me my love."

Gandalf took a gentle hold of Legolas' upper arms and manouvered the 
elf backwards slightly. "It is not your time..............neither.....neither is it 
mine."

Legolas stared wide-eyed at his lover, tears still falling steadily down his 
startled features, some finding their way into his slightly open mouth. He 
wanted desperately to speak. But the effort of trying to suppress the 
sudden mad surge of hope had left him without words. The growing 
anxiety instead manifested itself as a choked sob, the force of which 
caused Legolas' head to tip slightly forward with the emitted sound.

The elf suddenly felt his knees weaken, his body unable to withstand the 
emotional onslaught on his senses.

Gandalf held Legolas' arms and gently lowered himself and his lover to 
the floor. They sat facing eachother, although Legolas' head was bowed. 
His brow furrowed in confusion as his buzzing mind attempted to make 
sense of all that was happening.

Gandalf reached out his hand, sliding his fingers under Legolas' chin, and 
gently lifted his beloved's face until they were making eye-contact.

"Saruman has become more powerful than we imagined Greenleaf. He 
will not be easily defeated. You must understand, I had neither the power 
nor mental energy to stand against him as I was."

Legolas gasped slightly, realisation flooding his senses."The white", he 
whispered, lifting his hand to lightly stroke Gandalf's face.Legolas closed 
his eyes, trying to summon up the courage to voice that which he had 
previously only dared hope.

"You will come back to me?"

"Open your eyes my Greenleaf", Gandalf gently commanded.

Legolas raised his heavy eye-lids, searching his lover's gaze until he 
found the wordless answer to his question.

The archer sobbed, wrapping his arms around Gandalf's neck as relief 
surged through his body. He sat back, wiping his tears before lifting both 
of his hands to fully cup the wizard's face.

"Ai! Will you look at me? I cry because you are gone......I cry because you 
are coming back to me. My father would shake his head in dismay", 
Legolas chuckled.

Gandalf joined in the infectious laughter. "I think your father would more 
than understand my love."

Legolas smiled, studying his lover's features.

"Elbereth......you are beautiful", he sighed, leaning forward to place 
chaste kisses over Gandalf's face and mouth.

"Legolas, no one must know of this. Saruman must think of me as nothing 
but dust."

"I know", Legolas nodded. 

Gandalf cupped the side of his beloved's face with his hand, smiling as 
Legolas closed his eyes, leaning gratefully into the touch. "Oh my heart, I 
wish we had more time."

"When will I see you again?", Legolas whispered.

" When I am needed lirimaer", Gandalf softly answered. "You must open 
your eyes now."

"I fear to", the archer countered. " You will not be there when I do."

" I will return to you my love."

Legolas sighed in resignation. " I will miss you until then", he whispered.

"As I will you my dear Greenleaf........open your eyes."

------------------------

Legolas blinked slowly as he returned to consciousness, taking a moment 
to adjust to the familiar surroundings. Looking up into the branches of an 
overhead mallorn, he realised he must have rolled on to his back during 
his reverie.

Legolas brough his hands up to his face, breathing in the familiar scent of 
his lover.

"Not a dream", he smiled, running his hands over his head, smothering 
himself with the comforting fragrance.

A heavy, slightly stirring weight on his chest caused the archer to look 
down. He frowned, confused, at the mop of mousy curls tickling his chin, 
the slender, small arms and legs wrapped around his torso. "Young 
master Took?", he ventured, lightly stroking the hobbit's hair. Pippin's only 
response was to whimper slightly in his sleep, tightening his hold on the 
comforting body beneath him.

Legolas sighed, folding his arms around the Hobbit's diminutive frame 
and stroking his back in soothing circles.

"It will be alright my young friend", Legolas softly consoled. " Rest now."

Legolas rested his head once again on the ground. The lament still 
echoed around the city, but it's impact had lessened greatly to the archer. 
Instead, he closed his eyes, drawing comfort from the whispering of the 
surrounding trees.

"Tenna' san'."


The End
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