Title: Behind Emerald Eyes Author: Morgana Author's Email: morganalebeau@yahoo.com Web page: http://www.avalon.cobweb.nl Main pairings: Haldir/ Legolas, Thranduil/ surprise, Celeborn/surprise. See for other already established pairings LOML. Rating: NC-17. Summary: Just when Thranduil has given up on finding love and resigned himself to fading, a new love enters his life. Disclaimer: Not mine, Tolkien’s. Hum, I guess Magolion is mine… And so is Remmen… Warning: mpreg, minor angst, child loss and the story is AU of course! Author’s Note: Beta read by Sulien. All remaining mistakes are mine. FB is always welcome, but flames get send to Sauron! Behind Emerald Eyes Part 1 “You have given birth to a perfectly healthy young boy,” said Elrond, pleased that the delivery had gone so smoothly. Seeing his patient’s longing expression, he placed the tiny baby into Legolas’ welcoming arms. Although the birthing process had exhausted him, Legolas was still alert enough to count his son’s fingers and toes. Finally convinced that this little one had arrived with all parts attached, his eyes sought out his husband’s. “That’s number one,” he commented, recalling Haldir saying that the silver-haired Elf wanted a large family, hopefully consisting of boys. “You are a father now.” Haldir’s eyes released tears of joy when his fingertips lightly caressed his son’s face. Elrond, who had supervised the birth, had already cleaned the baby up, and the half-Elf now sat back, feeling mentally drained. “Thank you for looking after Legolas during his pregnancy.” Carefully, Haldir sat down on the side of the bed and gently maneuvered Legolas into a reclining position, so his husband could lean comfortably against him. Their son was in Legolas’ arms, safe and warm. “It is an honor to care for him,” said Elrond, who was glad this ordeal was over. He still vividly remembered the day that Legolas and Haldir had come to him, asking for his guidance in this matter. Elrond and his advisors had just arrived in Minas Tirith and the preparations for his daughter’s wedding were in full progress when Legolas had told him that he was pregnant with their first child. Elrond’s eyes had widened and he had collapsed onto a chair, staring at the silver-haired Elf in disbelief. At first he had inquired if Legolas was suffering from a head injury that would make him hallucinate, but the Woodland Elf had merely smiled back at him. Slowly, Legolas had reached for his hand and had placed the limb onto his no longer flat abdomen. Elrond’s eyes had become impossibly big when feeling the slight distention. Looking at Legolas and Haldir now, he recalled part of the conversation they’d had back then… #“I never knew you could carry a child, Legolas,” Elrond stared at the younger Elf in disbelief. He had never heard of such a thing! Surely, it was impossible! “It happened the night Éomer came to our aid at Helm’s Deep,” revealed Legolas, reliving the frightening moments of Haldir falling to his knees – badly injured. They had thought the March Warden dead, but Haldir had clung to life and had escaped death by sheer determination. Having Legolas’ love to fight for, Haldir had survived an injury that should have demanded his life. “That night we made love as I wanted a part of him to stay with me forever, should I ever lose him in battle.” Haldir pulled Legolas close, recalling the horrid memories of nearly entering the Halls of Waiting. “And I couldn’t deny him.” “Legolas, explain this to me. Since when can males conceive?” Elrond found the strength to rise from his chair and studied Legolas closely, wondering what secrets the Woodland Elf was hiding. “It is the way of my family. My grandfather gave birth to my father and Thranduil in turn had me.” Legolas drew in a deep breath, knowing Elrond would find his next revelation either shocking or endearing. He hoped it would be the latter, or else the half-Elf would turn away from him in disgust. “I have both male and female parts. I conceived and I will carry my child to term, with or without your guidance. It would prefer with, but…” Mouth agape, Elrond continued to stare at Legolas. “I never knew this was possible!” Neither Oropher nor Thranduil had ever hinted that they could have children. “And Thranduil gave birth to you?” He had a hard time reconciling his image of Thranduil with that of a pregnant Elf, carrying Legolas beneath his heart. “It is the truth,” said Haldir, “Legolas told me before we made love that first time. I was overjoyed, as I have always wanted a family of my own. And now we have started one.” Elrond took his time to consider their words. “And you want me to supervise your pregnancy, Legolas?” After seeing the silver-haired Elf nod, he added, “You won’t be able to hide this for long. You will start to show.” “I could return home, but I would rather not travel in my current state,” said Legolas, thoughtfully. “I would prefer to stay and have my child here.” “And I agree,” said Haldir, “I don’t want him on the road, endangering his life and the life of our child.” Elrond was finally beginning to accept the fact that Legolas would give birth in…”How many more moons until you deliver?” Pregnancy usually lasts one year, but he had no idea just how far along Legolas was. “In six moons,” said Legolas in a warm tone. “Haldir and I will hold our firstborn in our arms in six moons if the Valar will allow it.” Elrond had finally had a chance to sort out his thoughts and smiled warmly. “I am honored that you would ask me to guide you in this. I accept, of course.” He gently hugged Legolas and then congratulated Haldir on becoming a father shortly. “Does Aragorn know yet? Legolas gulped. “No, I still need to tell him. He won’t be pleased to learn I fought at his side whilst carrying my child in my womb.” “Tell him,” said Elrond in a gentle tone. He will rejoice like I did.”# “Elrond?” Haldir frowned, now that the Peredhel didn’t react. “Elrond!” Elrond startled from his musings and focused on Haldir. “Yes?” Looking at them, he found that Legolas had fallen asleep in Haldir’s arms. “I am worried.” Haldir made sure their son was cradled safely in his parents’ arms. “We sent several messengers to Mirkwood, pleading with Thranduil to join us here, yet he refuses to comply.” “Do you know why? Knowing what I do now, I find it hard to believe he wouldn’t want to see his grandson.” Elrond had learned a great deal about Thranduil and Legolas, since he had joined the remaining members of the Fellowship in Minas Tirith. “I suspect Thranduil doesn’t want to venture into alien lands. I also believe he wants to see Legolas and his grandson, but Thranduil…” Haldir paused, “When your summons reached Thranduil, he was severely upset. He was afraid he would lose his son during this quest. The last time I saw him, Thranduil was in a bad way – fading.” “Because of…” Haldir and Legolas had told him about Thranduil’s former lover, but he had a hard time recalling the name right now. “Remmen.” Haldir cradled Legolas and their son against his chest. “Thranduil is still mourning the loss.” He clearly remembered the night they had shared beneath a dark sky, watching the stars fall down onto Arda. “He wished he wasn’t alone any more – that someone loved him. And the Valar know he deserves someone who loves him!” Elrond moistened his lips. “I never gave much thought to the matter. Thranduil and I parted in bad ways after the Battle of the Last Alliance and I haven’t seen him since. I reckon it would be good if he visited Minas Tirith and got acquainted with his grandson. Maybe you should send another messenger?” “I doubt sending another one will make a difference,” said Haldir skeptically. “Maybe more drastic measures are necessary.” “What are your plans?” Elrond could tell Haldir had already made up his mind in this matter. “Maybe Thranduil will relent when facing three, very determined ‘Lorien Elves.” Rúmil and Mithrandir had arrived in Minas Tirith some weeks ago and Orophin had arrived with Elrond’s party months ago. The three brothers had finally been reunited. Elrond arched an eyebrow. “You plan on going to Mirkwood yourself?” “With Rúmil and Orophin for company. Yes.” Haldir looked pleadingly at Elrond. “That leaves me with a very important request. I will have to leave Legolas here in Minas Tirith, and although I know he can take care of himself and our son, he will need special attention these next few weeks. Will you continue to look after him?” “But of course!” Aragorn’s entire household had taken a liking to Legolas and everyone was looking forward to pampering the infant. “We will take good care of him!” A knock on the door cut their conversation short. Haldir called out, “Who is it?” “’Tis I,” replied the King, “And several of your family members, Haldir.” Rúmil, Orophin, Mithrandir, Elladan and Gimli stood behind him. His lovely Arwen was eager to open the door the moment Haldir permitted them to enter. “Haldir, we want to see the baby!” His friends were pressing him against the door and he was about to tell them to back off when Haldir told them to enter. “Thank the Valar! It was becoming hard to breathe!” Legolas woke when the large party entered and was briefly annoyed with Haldir for letting them visit when he was so tired, but after seeing the delicate smiles on their friends’ faces – especially Gimli’s – he couldn’t deny them meeting his son. “We won’t stay long,” said Arwen, quickly, seeing how drained Legolas looked. “We just want to make sure you and the baby are fine.” “And I still need to have a word with you for fighting alongside me during your pregnancy,” said Aragorn, slightly admonishingly. “I would never have forgiven myself for endangering a new life.” “That’s why I didn’t tell you,” said Legolas softly. His son’s hazel eyes had opened and now curiously looked at the strangers that surrounded him. Displeased with this development, he began to cry, testing the capacity of his lungs. “Formidable lungs,” commented Mithrandir, teasingly. “Takes after his mother,” said Gimli, giving Legolas a playful wink. Legolas smiled, fatigued. His gaze sought out Haldir’s and for one moment he forgot about the others’ presence. They had discussed what name to give the baby, should he give birth to a boy and he hoped Haldir still agreed with his choice. “I want to call him Remmen.” “After your father,” whispered Haldir in understanding. “I think it is an excellent name for our son.” He gently wiped away the tears that left Legolas’ azure eyes. Arwen wrapped an arm around Aragorn’s waist, looking forward to the day when she would hold her own child in her arms. “We should leave them alone now.” There was still a lot to do before their wedding could take place. “Yes, we should,” agreed Mithrandir, who now began to shoo everyone from the room. Gimli protested briefly, insisting he should stay and guard the baby, but the Dwarf quickly realized Haldir was more than up to his parental tasks. Grumbling displeased, he left the room, determined to visit with Legolas and the baby as quickly as possible. Being the last one to leave, Mithrandir looked over his shoulder at Legolas and said, “Thranduil should see his grandson and learn of his chosen name.” Legolas’ gaze darkened. “He won’t come to Minas Tirith.” “Send Haldir… and his brothers. Though the thought of having to part from Rúmil pains me.” His gaze shifted from Legolas to Haldir. “Your brother has become very dear to me.” When Haldir had first learned of his brother’s chosen mate, his heart had missed several beats. He had been afraid that Rúmil had made a terrible mistake, but once his brother and Mithrandir had joined them in Minas Tirith, he had seen them interact with such love in their eyes and gestures that he had changed his mind. Now, he was glad his brother had found love. “Mithrandir is right,” said Legolas slowly. Exhaustion tried to pull him under, but he fought sleep bravely. “I would go myself, but I am still recovering. *You* should fetch Ada. He won’t say no to you.” Elrond, who had been silent up until now, released an approving ‘hum’. Considering everything Haldir and Legolas had told him about Thranduil these past few months, he tended to agree. “If Thranduil is really still mourning his lover’s passing after all these millennia, you must find a way to bring him here.” He might fade otherwise, and Legolas needed his father alive and close. Legolas’ eyes, already filling with slumber, found Haldir’s. “I don’t want to part from you, even for the purpose of you fetching my father, but I do think it is the best thing. When will you leave? And you *will* hurry back to me, won’t you?” “I will leave in a few days,” said Haldir, “I want to be there for our son during the first days of his life. And I want to be there for you. Rest now.” Legolas succumbed to exhaustion again – trusting Haldir and Elrond to take care of him and his son. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gimli’s large hands carefully petted the baby’s head. The Dwarf smiled brilliantly at the infant and then lifted his eyes to meet Legolas’ amused ones. “You should never have taken the risk of fighting in the frontline.” At the time he had wondered about Haldir’s concern, which had seemed exaggerated to him, but when he had learned of the pregnancy he had finally understood. “I am alive, Gimli, and so is my son. What use is there in discussing something that clearly belongs in the past?” Legolas smiled happily when Remmen made soft cooing sounds. “He is perfect.” “All Elves think they are perfect,” commented Gimli. “Well, I know one thing for sure; your husband isn’t perfect at all!” Gimli pointed at Haldir, who had fallen asleep in the chair beside the bed. “Don’t be so hard on him, Gimli. You and I had plenty of time to rest, but he has been on his feet since the first contraction announced the birth. He is exhausted.” “That is no excuse to fall asleep on you!” A soft rumble emanated from deep within his throat, followed by warm laughter. “I am only teasing you, laddie.” “I know that, Gimli,” said Legolas, obliging his son when Remmen tried to pull a thumb into his mouth. The sucking sensation that went through his digit was exceptional and Legolas blushed. Seeing Gimli’s grin, he explained, “He is my first, Gimli. I have no idea what to expect!” “And your father isn’t here to tell you.” Gimli frowned. “He shouldn’t let you do this alone.” “He will hopefully join us here shortly. I miss him so much!” Legolas watched Remmen’s eyes fill with sleep and he sighed, relieved. The baby demanded his attention most of the time and he was looking forward to the moment that Haldir would wake up again and could take over. He was tired. “Maybe I can hold Remmen for you? That way you can get some sleep. He will be in the best hands with me,” offered Gimli, looking adoringly at the tiny infant. With his golden-hair, he looked like a miniature of his best friend. “He will always have a friend and protector in me.” “I know you don’t speak those words lightly and I thank you for being a good friend.” Legolas carefully placed Remmen in Gimli’s arms, hoping his son would enjoy being close to the Dwarf. Gimli held his breath when large, hazel eyes met his. “He is so tiny, not like Dwarven children at all. Well, Dwarven children are small too, but they aren’t this… fragile.” “Whatever you do,” said Haldir unexpectedly, “Don’t drop my son on his head.” His eyes, now alert again, met Gimli’s. “Gimli would never do that,” said Legolas, coming to his friend’s defense and only belatedly realizing that Haldir was teasing. “Haldir, I am already tired and now you are adding to my fatigue!” Haldir’s expression turned guilty. “You are right. I will behave instead.” Haldir rose from his chair, walked over to Legolas, and kissed his husband lightly on the lips. “Gimli and I will look after Remmen. Try to sleep, my love.” Lured into relaxation by Haldir’s voice and words, Legolas willingly gave into sleep. Haldir watched Gimli rock Remmen, and smiled. His son was in the best hands indeed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The next time that Legolas awoke, he found Aragorn sitting in the chair beside the bed instead of Haldir. He was severely disorientated and not even sure what time of the day it was. One look out of the window told him Arien was descending and Ithil rising. It was evening then, probably around dinner time. His next glance was for Remmen, who was sound asleep in the crib. “Haldir asked me to make sure you ate,” said Aragorn, moving closer and putting a tray on the side of the bed. Seeing Legolas’ futile attempts to push himself into a sitting position he promptly assisted this friend. Once Legolas was seated comfortably, he placed the tray with food on his friend’s lap. “Where is that elusive husband of mine?” inquired Legolas, sipping some of the broth. His stomach growled, and after finishing the broth he started on the fresh bread, cheese and fruits. “Haldir is talking to his brothers. They are planning their trip to Mirkwood. Are you certain it isn’t too soon for Haldir to leave your side? I clearly recall how emotional you were during those last few weeks of your pregnancy.” Fondly, he thought back to that one time when he had found Legolas raving and ranting because Haldir hadn’t joined him quickly enough… #”Haldir doesn’t love me any more! Just say it!” Legolas seemed to deflate now that his anger was giving way to sorrow and disappointment. Aragorn didn’t know what to do. He had come upon Legolas by accident. The pregnant Elf was seated in the garden, enjoying Arien’s last warm rays that day and Aragorn had merely inquired about the other’s health. Legolas was a dear friend and he had vowed privately to look after him when he had learned of the Elf’s pregnancy. Legolas reacted pleasantly and Aragorn sat down, enjoying the sunset. Then he made the mistake of inquiring about Haldir as well. “I don’t know where he is,” replied Legolas, whose gaze suddenly dulled. “I haven’t seen him since this morning. He has probably tired of me. And I can’t blame him. Look at me!” Legolas placed one hand protectively over his stomach. “I have grown huge this last moon!” “You are close to giving birth, my friend.” Aragorn wondered what else to say in order to comfort the distraught Elf. “It is normal for your girth to expand.” Legolas suddenly cried out beside him and he bit his bottom lip, knowing he had said the wrong thing. Quickly, he wrapped an arm around Legolas’ shoulder, trying to soothe him. “Haldir loves you. You know that. He defeated death to be with you. That injury should have killed him, but he came back for you. Don’t doubt his love for you. There is no reason to do so.” But he also realized things weren’t that simple to Legolas, who in his last month of pregnancy had turned unpredictable and highly emotional. Haldir had told him that he felt as if he had to walk on eggshells around Legolas. “Then why isn’t he here? Why did he leave me alone?” Tears dripped from Legolas’ face. Aragorn sighed and used his sleeve to gently wipe away the tears. Legolas had bloomed during his pregnancy and his friend had never been more beautiful to him. But Legolas obviously didn’t see things that way. He was certain that if Legolas hadn’t been married to Haldir, several suitors would have pleaded with him to accept them as his lover. “Haldir will hurry back to you. But you also know that Rúmil and Mithrandir have arrived last night and that Haldir has missed his brother.” Legolas’ sobs increased in volume and Aragorn cursed himself for saying the wrong thing again. “He didn’t desert you for Rúmil! You know that!” “I want Haldir! I want him close!” Pouting, and feeling hurt, Legolas lifted swimming eyes to meet Aragorn’s. “I need him!” “Stay here and I will fetch him for you!” Aragorn was growing desperate. Legolas had to calm down! Being stressed in his current condition was not advisable. ”I will be back in a moment!” He nearly ran out of the gardens, hoping to quickly locate the elusive Galadhel. When he finally found Haldir, he grabbed hold of him and dragged him along. “You are coming with me right now!” Haldir’s eyes widened quizzically, realizing the stressed state Aragorn was in. It was highly unusual to see the fabled warrior out of control. “What happened?” Behind him, he heard his brother and Mithrandir chuckle amused, but the distance between them was quickly increasing. “Legolas happened. He is crying because you left him alone!” Dragging Haldir with him, Aragorn released a relieved sigh when he found Legolas was still in the same place as where he had left him. “Go to him and make sure he stops crying!” Haldir grinned, realizing how nervous his friend was. “Rest assured; I will comfort him.” He had grown somewhat used to Legolas’ quickly changing moods over these past few months. Leaving Aragorn behind, he quickly advanced on his lover and sat down beside him. “Miss me?” Legolas swatted him – which didn’t surprise him at all. He half expected it. “I reckon that your answer is yes?” “You left me alone! You don’t love me any more!” “Oh, you sweet, lovable fool,” mumbled Haldir, gently wrapping his arms around Legolas. “I will always love you. You carry my child, Legolas. I will always be yours.” Legolas calmed down slowly, but still sniffed, trying to do away with his tears. “I hate it when you leave me alone.” “I went to welcome my brother and Mithrandir. I would have asked you to come along, but you were peacefully asleep when I left our rooms.” Haldir rubbed Legolas’ fingers, knowing the caress would calm him down further. “I was never far away from you.” “I need you close, Haldir, now that Ada isn’t here.” Legolas sagged against Haldir and enjoyed being held by his husband. “I miss him.” And then the tears started all over again. # “Aragorn?” Legolas frowned, finding his friend staring blindly into the distance. “Is something amiss?” “No, I was just recalling that day in the gardens when you were emotional because Haldir had gone to greet his brother and Mithrandir.” “You must be relieved now that my mood changes have faded.” Legolas had finished eating and now indulged himself in a glass of miruvor that Elrond had ordered him to drink each evening, for it would strengthen him. “I am relieved too.” Aragorn had the grace to smile. “You possessed other charms that made up for the mood swings. I must admit to being curious. I wonder what it was like for Thranduil when he was pregnant with you.” Legolas’ eyes filled with moisture at hearing his father’s name and Aragorn cursed himself for bringing the Woodland King up. “I am sorry.” “I just hope Haldir will convince my father to come to Minas Tirith with him. I want both of them close.” Legolas composed himself and wiped away the single tear that had left his eye. “My mood swings haven’t vanished completely yet.” “You are entitled to them, my dearest friend,” said Aragorn in a gentle tone. His gaze shifted from Legolas to Remmen, and he smiled, hoping the Valar would grace Arwen and he with a child in the near future as well. Beta read by Sulien. All remaining mistakes are mine. Title: Behind Emerald Eyes Author: Morgana Author's Email: morganalebeau@yahoo.com Web page: http://www.avalon.cobweb.nl Main pairings; Haldir/ Legolas, Thranduil/ surprise, Celeborn/surprise. See for other already established pairings LOML. Rating: NC-17. Summary: Just when Thranduil has given up on finding love and resigned himself to fading, a new love enters his life. Disclaimer: Not mine, Tolkien’s. Hum, I guess Magolion is mine… And so is Remmen… Warning: mpreg, minor angst, child loss and the story is AU of course! Author’s Note: Beta read by Sulien. All remaining mistakes are mine. FB is always welcome, but flames get send to Sauron! Behind Emerald Eyes Part 2 “You can entrust Remmen to me, Legolas,” said Orophin, giving the baby an adoring look. This would be the first – and last evening – that Haldir and Legolas would have alone before the three brothers left for Mirkwood. Elladan, sitting in a rocking chair, which Arwen had placed in Remmen’s nursery, was also looking forward to keeping an eye on the baby. Orophin and he would never have children of their own, so they had decided to ‘adopt’ Remmen and to be the best uncles they could be. “Thank you for doing this,” said Haldir, grateful that Orophin and Elladan understood that Legolas and he needed some privacy before leaving Minas Tirith. He loved Remmen, but the baby did demand much of Legolas’ time and attention, and he was looking forward to having his beloved to himself for one evening. “You are most welcome!” Elladan giggled happily when Orophin placed Remmen in his arms and he started to rock slowly. The motion quickly lured the Elfling into sleep. “He is a sweet baby.” “Yes, he is,” said Haldir with fatherly pride. “We will leave at the crack of dawn,” he said, reminding Orophin to be ready to leave. “Rúmil and I will be there – don’t worry. Now go! Legolas is waiting for you!” Orophin shooed Haldir from the room, closed the door and then managed to squeeze his way onto the rocking chair as well. Partly sitting on Elladan’s lap, they cradled the baby in their arms, watching Remmen sleep. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “I don’t want you to leave,” said Legolas, sighing. He had cuddled up to Haldir in their nest of pillows on the balcony. It was a lovely summer night and the stars carried their own warm radiance. “But I don’t want Ada to stay in Mirkwood either!” His heart was torn in opposite directions. “I could stay,” suggested Haldir, “And send my brothers instead.” But he also knew that would minimize their chances to convince Thranduil to visit with Legolas. “They won’t succeed in bringing him here. Ada won’t listen to them. But he *will* listen to you. He has had a soft spot for you from the beginning, and he will be unable to deny you when you tell him about our baby. You must go in person.” As they were lying close to one another, Legolas rested his head on Haldir’s chest and wrapped his arms around his beloved’s waist. Haldir reacted by soothingly stroking Legolas’ back and pulled him even closer. After pressing a kiss onto the golden hair, he said, “I won’t take no for an answer. I will bring him to you.” “He probably feels intimidated and fears feeling out of place here,” said Legolas, swallowing hard. “It has been millennia since he left home and the thought of having to face Elrond and the others, which whom he still has differences from the Battle of the Last Alliance, might keep him back. He didn’t part with them on good terms. These are foreign lands to him. He will feel like the weaker party here.” Haldir continued the gentle caresses and realized there wouldn’t be any passionate lovemaking tonight. He had hoped to make Legolas his again, but his mate was too troubled to find pleasure in that deed. Haldir understood; whenever his brothers weren’t close, he felt incomplete as well. “Do you think he is still fading?” “I am afraid so,” said Legolas, voicing his worst fear. “I desperately hope you will reach him in time to stop him from fading completely. Bring him here. In Remmen he might find a reason to live. I am too selfish to let him leave for the Halls of Waiting. Something tells me his time hasn’t come yet.” “I share your opinion.” Haldir held Legolas tight, hoping Thranduil would relent and join them in Minas Tirith. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Aragorn had decided to stay close to Legolas now that Haldir was leaving. The three brothers had mounted their horses and had said most of their goodbyes. Mithrandir had moved back into the castle, unwilling to watch Rúmil temporarily vanish from his life. Elladan stood at a distance, trying to stop the tears from leaving his eyes. Haldir bend forward, ran his fingertips lightly over Remmen’s head and then reached for Legolas to press one last kiss onto his beloved’s lips. “Listen to Elrond and Aragorn and do as they tell you. You are still recovering, my love.” He felt reassured, knowing the two healers would keep a close eye on his family. “I vow to return with Thranduil.” “I hope that Ada will let you keep that promise,” said Legolas in an emotional tone. “Now go, love. This parting is driving me to tears.” He clutched Remmen against his chest, rocking his baby slowly. “Please be careful on the roads.” There were still Orcs and Uruk-Hai on the loose! “I survived Helm’s Deep,” said Haldir with a wicked grin on his face. “I will also survive this trip, as I have you to come home to.” Steering his horse away from Legolas and Remmen, his heart began to feel heavier with every step that took him further away from his loved ones. Looking over his shoulder at Legolas, he raised a hand in goodbye; a gesture that his brothers mimicked. Their jaws set in determination, all three wished they could stay with their mates instead, but for Legolas’ sake they would travel to Mirkwood and drag a reluctant Thranduil to Minas Tirith to be reunited with his son and grandson. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Remmen?” Legolas lay on his back, sprawled comfortably on his bed. He missed Haldir already and focused on his son instead. Remmen, wide awake after a long nap, stared questioningly at Legolas. Even as young as he was, he wondered where the other one had gone; the silver-haired Elf who also looked after him. Rearranging Remmen in his arms, Legolas maneuvered his son into a comfortable position and then studied the hazel eyes. The babies he had seen in his life time usually had deep blue eyes, but Remmen’s were already as hazel as Haldir’s – a constant reminder of his beloved. “I wonder how your Ada is doing. Does he miss us? I am sure he does...” He certainly missed Haldir! The Galadhel had only been away for a few hours, but his heart was breaking now that Haldir wasn’t close. “He will bring your Ata’da back with him. I am certain you will love your grandfather, Remmen.” He just knew that Thranduil would lose his heart the moment his father set eyes upon the baby. “Legolas?” Gimli had pushed the door ajar, when his knock on the door had remained unanswered. “May I enter?” He smiled brightly, seeing the love for Remmen in Legolas’ eyes. He had come here because he suspected that Legolas was feeling miserable now that Haldir had left. Maybe he could offer some comfort and create some distraction. “Gimli!” Smiling fondly, Legolas sat upright and leaned his back against the headboard. “I wasn’t expecting you.” “I wanted to inquire if you are up to taking a walk with me. Some sunlight will do you good, laddie.” Gimli couldn’t help feeling protective of Legolas now that Haldir had left, and it was a delight to spend time with them. He had long lost his heart to Remmen. “Legolas? I was wondering if…” Aragorn stopped in his tracks upon entering Legolas’ rooms, realizing Gimli had had similar ideas and had come here to distract their friend. “Yes?” Legolas resigned himself to the situation, picked Remmen up, and carried him with him when he walked over to his friends. “Let me guess. You were wondering if I was up to a walk in the gardens.” He had half expected his friends to fuss over him, but was still surprised the mothering had started this quickly. Aragorn nodded; a sheepish expression appearing in his eyes. “Arwen arranged for a pick nick. Elladan and she are awaiting us in the gardens. I hope you don’t mind. And Gimli, you are always welcome to join us.” Arwen had suggested they looked after Legolas and Remmen now that Haldir had left. They had also invited Elladan, who was gloomy now that Orophin had departed with his brothers. “I will join you,” said Legolas, reminding himself they were acting in this manner because they cared for him – maybe even worried about him. They were just trying to be good friends – although he suspected that their fussing would quickly get to him. “May I carry the lad?” Gimli opened his arms in the hope of receiving Remmen into them. Legolas gave Gimli a proud smile and made sure his son was safely tucked away in the strong, Dwarven arms. His smile turned a bit wicked, seeing the normally grumpy Dwarf happily googooing and gaagaaing at Remmen. Letting his friends’ presence comfort him, he followed them out of the room and into the gardens. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Elladan knew exactly how Legolas felt, as he missed his mate’s company as well. Both Elves found comfort in the fact that they were surrounded by their loved ones, but their friends’ company couldn’t make up for the pain the absence of their lovers caused. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The three brothers quickly grew accustomed to being on the road again and also resumed their ‘normal’ bantering. Now that they were together again, they realized just how much they had missed each other’s company. After traveling almost nonstop for two days, Haldir finally called for a rest. They had gone easy on the horses, riding at a comfortable pace, and now riders and mounts were in need of a rest. They set up camp, and Rúmil took the first watch. From across the fire, Haldir’s gaze met Orophin’s and he read a very familiar emotion in his brother’s eyes. “I miss them too.” “It must be even more difficult for you,” said Orophin, musing aloud. “You left behind your mate and your firstborn.” Haldir nodded; leaving Legolas and Remmen behind was the hardest thing he had ever done. But he also knew how badly Legolas needed Thranduil. “Are you happy with Elladan? Do you ever regret taking him as your mate?” Orophin smiled; knowing that it was his overly protective big brother talking. Haldir had always wanted the best for him. “I am truly happy, Haldir.” “Do you think Rúmil is happy too? I was stunned to hear that he loved Mithrandir.” “I was surprised too,” admitted Orophin, “But I have seldom seen Rúmil this happy. He seems more at peace.” Rúmil had always possessed a restless streak, which was slowly diminishing and being replaced by a calm sense of belonging. Haldir smiled at Orophin. “It seems that all three of us have found true love then.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Whilst standing guard, Rúmil smiled; the wind had carried his brothers’ voices over to him, and he was relieved, realizing they accepted Mithrandir in their lives. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Thank you for keeping me company,” said Legolas, smiling at Elrond and Lindir. The minstrel had sung for them, whilst Elrond and he had played chess. During these last few days he had found himself incredibly busy. During the day, Gimli and Aragorn kept him distracted, and in the evenings either Erestor and Glorfindel, or Elrond and Lindir would sit with him. He had now reached a point where he was actually looking forward to being alone for the night! “We can stay for the night if you would like that,” offered Elrond, who was still worried that Legolas was hiding his pain, merely pretending to be coping with Haldir’s absence. “Elrond, please believe me when I say that Remmen and I are fine.” Legolas cast a loving glance at his son, who was soundly asleep in the cradle. “I miss Haldir, but Remmen constantly reminds me of him, and I know Haldir will return to me. There is no need to brood about my well- being, although I am flattered that you would worry about me.” Legolas rose to his feet and placed a hand on Elrond’s shoulder. “Spend some time with Lindir instead.” Elrond blushed. Although it was common knowledge that Lindir and he were together, he still blushed whenever someone mentioned his lover. His love for Lindir was deep and still relatively new. “I would like that, beloved,” whispered Lindir. Leaning in closer, he seductively ran his fingertips through Elrond’s tresses of raven dark hair. Looking at Legolas, he easily read the other’s desire for privacy. “Come with me.” He gently pulled Elrond to his feet and led the half-Elf into the corridor, heading for their guest quarters. Legolas released a relieved sigh now that he was finally alone and closed the door. After locking it, he moved to the cradle, picked up Remmen and cuddled up to his son on his bed. All he wanted was to spend the night with his son, without any more interruptions or mothering from his friends. Feeling his son’s warm body pressed against his, sleep quickly took him and he tumbled into the land of dreams – dreams filled with Haldir’s image. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “They continue to grow. Apparently this soil meets their needs.” Glorfindel, pleased, looked at Erestor, who was sitting beside him on the grass. When Elrond had asked them to accompany him to Minas Tirith they had followed, but they had also taken a small part of Imladris with them. The seeds Glorfindel had planted half a year ago had become strong plants. Aragon had been kind enough to offer them a secluded section of the new gardens he had designed, and they now had their own little love nest, where no one else ever came. “They have grown strong indeed.” Erestor’s dark eyes blazed with the fire of ardor, looking at his lover. They had successfully built a solid and loving relationship, and had finally forgiven themselves for all past mistakes. Like their plants, their love had firmly taken root in the present. Glorfindel briefly leaned in closer and kissed his lover’s lips. “We will take seeds with us when we finally sail for Valinor.” The frown that suddenly appeared on Erestor’s brow worried him, and he asked, “Don’t you wish to sail for the Undying Lands?” Erestor moistened his lips, wondering how to tell Glorfindel, who was looking forward to leaving. “Elrond won’t sail for a *very* long time.” “But… he said that the time of the Elves was coming to an end.” Had he misunderstood? “Think about it, Glorfindel. Celebrían is waiting for him in Valinor and Elrond has found a new love here. Do you really think he wants to give up on Lindir?” Now Glorfindel’s brow furrowed as well. “I didn’t consider that…” Erestor decided to enlighten him further. “Elrond and Lindir will return to Imladris. They just haven’t told anyone yet.” “And the twins?” Erestor sighed softly. Arwen had chosen her fate when she had fallen in love with Aragorn and the twins had made their choices as well. “Elladan and Elrohir *will* sail for Valinor, with Orophin and Magolion at their side. And so will Rúmil and Mithrandir.” Glorfindel’s gaze darkened with worry. “I don’t like this… What about Legolas and Haldir?” “I suspect that they will stay until after Aragorn’s death. Legolas and Aragorn have become the best of friends and our Woodland Prince won’t desert him.” “So they will stay,” whispered Glorfindel, still confused. “Who else will sail?” “Galadriel will, and so will most of our kind, but others will stay behind.” “Celeborn?” Erestor nodded and a warm smile surfaced on his face. “Celeborn is deeply connected to these lands. He won’t desert them until the end of Arda.” “And what about us?” Glorfindel suddenly felt uncertain of their future. He had always assumed they would sail for Valinor after Arwen’s wedding. Erestor averted his eyes. “My heart tells me to stay here a little longer. Although I would love to stay close to my father, I feel a duty to my friends first.” “Elrond and Lindir,” said Glorfindel in sudden understanding. He moved into a cross-legged sitting position and looked deeply into Erestor’s eyes. “This is unexpected.” “I should have confided in you earlier, but I wasn’t sure if our relationship was strong enough to face this discussion.” Erestor moved closer to Glorfindel, rested his head on his lover’s shoulder and purred in delight when the blond’s strong arms enveloped him in a tight embrace. “I have thought about this for a long time and I have decided to leave the decision up to you. I love you too much to be separated from you and if you wish to sail for Valinor with the next ship, I will come with you.” “But part of your heart longs to stay with your friends.” “Yes, I cannot deny that leaving them behind would greatly grieve me.” Glorfindel thought back to everything he had gone through in order to reclaim his lover. “I have learned something very important when I followed you into Dol Guldur.” “And what is that?” Erestor cocked his head to look at his beloved. “I learned to trust you and to put my faith in you. If you feel we should stay, we will. I don’t want your heart torn between your friends and your lover.” “That isn’t exactly correct,” said Erestor quickly. “I would go with you if you chose to sail for Valinor.” “I know that.” Glorfindel pressed a loving kiss on Erestor’s hair and tucked his lover tight against his side. “But what I am trying to say is that my place is at your side and I made too many mistakes in judgment in the past. I trust you to do what is right for *us*.” Touched to the core of his being by Glorfindel’s words, Erestor maneuvered himself closer, and managed to catch his lover’s lips in a passionate kiss. /Thank you for putting your trust in me. I know how hard that is for you./ He seldom used their mental link to communicate with Glorfindel these days, but this was one of those moments where he felt it would add weight to his words. Mithrandir had taught him how to use his gifts, but he felt more comfortable pretending he didn’t have any of these powers. He felt *safer* not using them. /You are the love of my life, you know that, don’t you?/ Glorfindel traced Erestor’s bottom lip with a fingertip. /If you want to stay, we will stay. It doesn’t matter to me where we are, as long as we are together./ “Oh, you have turned into a sap, Glorfindel,” said Erestor, teasingly, and eagerly parted his teeth when his lover deepened their kiss. He would never get enough of his personal Balrog Slayer! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Oh, I am already searching!” Legolas frantically scanned his surroundings for the bottled milk, which he had just fetched from the kitchen together with his lunch. He had put the bottle on the tray as well, hadn’t he? Remmen seldom cried, but when he did, the screams tore at Legolas’ very soul. “Peace, little one! Please! I will fetch your milk!” How could he have forgotten to add the bottled milk to the tray? “Ah, it seems to me that you are in need of help!” Aragorn swept into Legolas’ rooms, and quickly offered his friend the bottled milk. “I thought this might come in handy.” “You are a life saver!” Legolas sat down, cradled Remmen in his arms and calmed down once his son was drinking the milk. “By the Valar, look at him!” He hadn’t expected Remmen to be this hungry! “He is eager to grow into a strong warrior,” said Aragorn in a warm tone. He sat down opposite Legolas, and smiled, watching his friend feed his son. “Caring for him seems to come natural to you.” “It does,” confirmed Legolas. “I can still remember bits and pieces from my first few years. Thranduil and Remmen were always there for me. It didn’t matter to me that I had two fathers. I loved them dearly.” “Did you ever call Thranduil mother?” “No,” said Legolas, smiling, “The first word I learned was Ada. But Remmen liked to tease Thranduil by calling him nana.” Aragorn nodded, seeing Remmen drink eagerly. “He will grow strong.” “I hope so. He is my first and I am not certain I am doing everything right.” Legolas’ smile faded slightly. “I wished my father was here – and Haldir.” “Do you and Haldir plan on having more children?” “He wants more children, yes. And so do I.” Aragorn was relieved to see Legolas’ smile brighten again. “I should have known, considering he has two brothers.” “Haldir is a good mate,” said Legolas slowly, “The best I could wish for.” “But?” Aragorn raised an eyebrow inquisitively. “I wish he were back already and that my father was here as well. I miss them both and I am afraid my father is once more fading now that I am not close to keep him here.” “He must have loved Remmen with his entire heart.” “He did. They were happy. *We* were happy.” Legolas’ gaze met Aragorn’s. “Seeing my father’s reaction after losing Remmen made me very aware of how transitory life is. It is said that we Elves are immortal, but I know better. Even Elves die.” Remmen had finished his milk and Legolas now helped him burp. “This is one of the things that I remember vividly; my father holding me close.” Aragorn watched Legolas closely and saw the need and longing in his friend’s azure eyes. “I am certain that Haldir will succeed and convince Thranduil to come to Minas Tirith.” Remmen burped dutifully, and then rested his head on Legolas’ shoulder – sleepy once more. Legolas cradled his son tightly and restored eye contact, realizing Aragorn wanted to say something. “Yes?” “Your son is very fortunate to have your love, my dearest friend.” Aragorn rose from his chair, walked over to Legolas and gently stroked the baby’s head. “His hair will be golden.” A few strands already showed. “He has inherited Haldir’s eyes and your hair. He will be very fair and break a lot of hearts when he reaches his majority.” Legolas’ eyes burned with pride. “Thank you for those kind words.” “It is the truth,” said Aragorn, bending down to press a light kiss onto the baby’s brow. “And he will always have a home here if he desires it. Will you stay, Legolas, or take him away from us?” “I will stay for now,” replied Legolas. “I have no desire to leave just yet. This does feel like home to me.” “But you will leave eventually,” predicted Aragorn. “Haldir and I might eventually settle down in Ithilien, but we will still be close. We will visit regularly.” Legolas gave Aragorn a reassuring smile. “I won’t sail for Valinor until after…” Suddenly his voice failed him, unwilling as he was to speak those damning words. “Until after my death,” finished Aragorn for his friend, touched. “Thank you for staying, Legolas. I will need friends to help me realize my dreams.” Acting instinctively and on impulse, he gently stroked Legolas’ silken hair. “The fact that Haldir and you will stay means a lot to me.” Abruptly, he turned away from Legolas and left the room, briefly overwhelmed by his feelings. Shortly, many of his friends would sail for Valinor and a sense of loneliness and abandonment regularly washed over him. /But Legolas and Haldir won’t desert me./ His friends would stand by him until the day he died. Beta read by Sulien. All remaining mistakes are mine. Title: Behind Emerald Eyes Author: Morgana Author's Email: morganalebeau@yahoo.com Web page: http://www.avalon.cobweb.nl Main pairings; Haldir/ Legolas, Thranduil/ surprise, Celeborn/surprise. See for other already established pairings LOML. Rating: NC-17. Summary: Just when Thranduil has given up on finding love and resigned himself to fading, a new love enters his life. Disclaimer: Not mine, Tolkien’s. Hum, I guess Magolion is mine… And so is Remmen… Warning: mpreg, minor angst, child loss and the story is AU of course! Author’s Note: Beta read by Sulien. All remaining mistakes are mine. FB is always welcome, but flames get send to Sauron! Behind Emerald Eyes Part 3 Haldir instinctively knew something was terribly wrong when he approached the caves – the heart of Thranduil’s home. The number of sentries had been low, and now that the danger Dol Guldur had presented in the past was gone, he suspected that a large number of Woodland Elves had left for the Havens. Only a few seemed to have stayed behind, probably to care for their King. Mirkwood was deserted save for a few brave souls that watched over Thranduil. “Thank the Valar that you came back!” One of the sentries approached, looking trustingly at the three silver-haired Elves. “Where is Legolas?” “Legolas stayed behind in Minas Tirith after giving birth to our son,” explained Haldir, whilst he and his brothers dismounted. “How fares your King?” “He is barely alive. Only a few of us have stayed behind to look after him. The majority has left for Valinor, but we couldn’t leave him behind. He is so helpless now.” The sentry gave Haldir a worried look. “He is dying.” Haldir gasped; his worst fear had come true. “Where is he?” He assumed Thranduil would have taken to the telain once more, but the sentry led him underground, into the caves instead. “We cannot persuade him to leave Remmen’s tomb. He refuses to leave.” The sentry’s eyes misted over with tears. “We tried to talk to him, to make him eat and rest, but he refuses.” They had now reached an exit, and once they had stepped outside. Haldir immediately noticed the elegantly carved tomb, made from dark marble and laid in with the brightest emeralds he had ever seen. “You may leave us now,” he told the sentry. “We will take good care of him.” The sentry nodded and gave Haldir another grateful look before disappearing into the caves again. As long as Thranduil dwelt in Mirkwood, he and a handful of the King’s most loyal soldiers would stay as well. “Brother?” Rúmil stared at the huddled figure, which crouched near the tomb. “Can that be…?” Could that wretched form really be Thranduil? Haldir reacted at once and slowly approached the figure, which was dressed in a green cloak – a dark hood drawn over his head, obscuring the features. “Thranduil?” Haldir’s voice trembled when speaking the name, and when he sat on his heels beside the figure, he realized the form was shaking violently. Raising a hand, he cautiously pushed back the hood, finally revealing a pale face. Haldir hissed in shock, getting his first look at Thranduil. The blond’s features had become hollow and were sunken, and the normally sparkling irises had almost faded to white. They had arrived just in time. “Thranduil?” Ignoring his brothers’ shocked gasps, Haldir brushed back the brittle hair, which more resembled hay than the silken mane that it used to be. “Oh, what have you done to yourself?” Now that he was getting a closer look, he realized that the Woodland King had long ago stopped eating. Sharp bones pressed against the transparent skin. Rúmil and Orophin exchanged worried looks, wondering what to do. In the end, they decided to wait for Haldir’s orders. Their brother knew Thranduil best and hopefully knew what course of action to take. As Thranduil wasn’t reacting to his presence, Haldir moved even closer and managed to gather the other Elf’s skeleton-like hands in his. There was only one word Thranduil had always responded to and he hoped it would reach the dying Elf now as well. “Ada?” Thranduil blinked. Had someone called him father? He had been out of touch with reality for the last few days and was waiting to finally journey to the Halls of Waiting, but now someone had called him father. His lips moved, and he tried to pronounce his son’s name, but no sound came forth from his lips. He hadn’t drunken any water for days and his mouth was too dry to obey his command to speak. “Oh, Ada!” Relieved to find Thranduil lifting his eyes in an attempt to focus on him, Haldir reacted by enveloping him in a loose hug. His first instinct had been to press Thranduil tightly against him, but the blond seemed so fragile that he was afraid he would accidentally snap bones. “We arrived just in time!” Thranduil was in no state to protest his actions, and Haldir took charge. It was obvious they needed to attend to Thranduil’s needs, and there was only one person who could truly do that. “I am taking you with me to Minas Tirith.” Thranduil pinched his eyes shut, and tried to identity the Elf in front of him. He knew it wasn’t Legolas for his bond with his son would tell him so, but this Elf seemed familiar as well. “We are leaving, Ada. You cannot stay here.” Haldir pushed his arms beneath Thranduil’s knees and back and gently lifted his charge. He was shocked at the low weight he held in his arms and realized they needed to get food and water into the badly malnourished and dehydrated body. “Rúmil, head for the kitchens and have them prepare a light meal. Orophin, locate Thranduil’s quarters and fetch clean clothes. Also pack a bag with his personal belongings and add traveling clothes. We are taking him with us and we will leave within the hour!” His brothers hurried to carry out his orders, whilst Haldir carefully carried Thranduil into the direction of the kitchens. “Have you recognized me by now, Ada?” Thranduil had closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of Haldir’s body warmth against his. He couldn’t remember the last time that strong arms had caught and carried him, and now that he felt safe, he simply wished to surrender to this sensation, not think about it. “I reckon that is no,” whispered Haldir, displeased. “I should have come for you earlier.” They had finally reached the kitchens and the one cook that had remained behind had prepared a light meal with Rúmil’s help. Haldir placed Thranduil at the kitchen table and found he had to sit down as well, keeping his arms wrapped around the other Elf’s waist. Without the support Thranduil would have swayed and crumpled. “Rúmil, he needs to eat some hot broth, but he cannot feed himself and I must hold him up.” Rúmil sat down, took hold of the spoon, and slowly fed Thranduil. Thranduil’s eyes opened in surprise, finding something pleasantly warm making its way down his throat. More of the warm liquid was spooned into his mouth and he swallowed automatically. Sitting in silence, he swallowed most of the broth. Rúmil and Haldir exchanged pleasant looks, though their gazes remained dark with worry. “You are doing well,” said Haldir, praising his dazed charge. Thranduil was hanging on by the skin of his teeth. He didn’t dare think of what he would have found had they arrived a date later – probably Thranduil’s corpse. “Just a little bread and then we will let you sleep.” Sleep? When was the last time he had slept? How long had he kept this vigil at Remmen’s tomb? Something warm and soft was pushed between his teeth and he tried to spit it out, but he lacked the strength to do so. Rúmil had soaked the bread in more broth before feeding it to Thranduil, figuring it was easier to swallow for the Woodland Elf that way. Looking at the sunken features, his heart went out to Thranduil. “We should leave for Minas Tirith as quickly as possible.” “You are taking him with you?” The sentry that had guided them to Thranduil had reappeared and now stood beside the cook. “Yes, I will take him to Minas Tirith, where Legolas resides.” Haldir saw relief in their eyes and knew they would help him. “Do you have fresh horses? Ours are tired and I want to hurry back.” “We will provide you with Thranduil’s best horses,” promised the sentry before hurrying away. “I packed most of his personal belongings and some clothes – just as you ordered, brother.” Orophin had found his way into the kitchen and placed the bag on the floor. “Are we ready to leave?” Originally the brothers had planned to rest a day before beginning their journey back to Minas Tirith, but after seeing the state Thranduil was in, they had realized they didn’t have the luxury of rest. They had to leave as quickly as possible. Haldir felt Thranduil’s food intake was satisfactory and nodded once. “Did you also find a warmer cape? A riding cloak, perhaps?” Thranduil was as cold as ice beneath his touch. “But first we need to clean him up.” The cook had apparently anticipated that request and placed a large bowl filled with warm water on the table, together with towels and a wash cloth. “Thank you,” said Haldir, smiling at the she-Elf. Then, his gaze shifted to his brothers. “You will have to wash the grime and sweat off of him whilst I steady him.” The two brothers carefully removed Thranduil’s dirty clothes and then gently washed the pale skin. Finally the real extent of damage the grief had done showed and they did their work in silence and with grim determination. After cleaning Thranduil up and washing the worst dirt from the brittle hair, they dressed their charge in warm clothes, leather boots and finished with a warm, dark green riding cloak that should keep Thranduil warm. Haldir and his brothers managed to get Thranduil to his feet, and when his hazel eyes met the Woodland Elf’s, Haldir realized the other Elf was more aware of them than he had first been. “I am sorry for doing this without your permission, but you can clearly not attend to your needs, so we will do it for you as long as necessary.” The warm broth, bread and clean clothes had partly brought Thranduil out of his trance and he stared questioningly at Haldir. Haldir tightened his hold on Thranduil and made sure the other Elf wouldn’t accidentally take a fall. “You recognize me.” Still too drained to talk, Thranduil managed a weak nod. He lacked the strength to move on his own and had to permit Haldir to lift him once more. Ashamed of being carried like a babe, he succeeded in resting his head against Haldir’s chest. Part of the brittle hair fell in front of his face, hiding his features from his rescuers. He had reached the point where he no longer cared what happened to him and he allowed Haldir to take control of his life – or what was still left of it. “Orophin? Hold him whilst I mount my horse.” Satisfied, Haldir found that their horses had been replaced and their saddle bags filled with enough food to last until they had reached Minas Tirith. He mounted his horse and then helped Orophin lift Thranduil into the saddle in front of him. “I have him.” His arms encircled Thranduil’s waist once more and he guided the other Elf’s back against his chest, encouraging Thranduil to rest against him. Now that the blond was safely in his arms, he told his brothers to mount. The sentry and cook appeared to say their last goodbyes to Thranduil, but their King hardly heard their words, when they wished him well. “Rest assured. He is in the best hands with us,” said Haldir, “And thank you for caring for him.” “We love him,” said the sentry. “He is a good and kind King and it pains us to see him in this sorry state.” “What will you do?” asked Rúmil of the last remaining Woodland Elves. “We will take his possessions to Minas Tirith and, once we know he has settled down there comfortably, we will leave for Valinor.” Haldir pressed his heels into the flanks of his horse and guided the mount away from the caves. It would take them one week at least to travel to Minas Tirith and they could only hope Thranduil would survive that long. “Think of Legolas,” whispered Haldir into Thranduil’s ear. “Think of Legolas and your grandson. Legolas loves you and wants you to join them. Think of them. Think of their love for you. Hold onto your love for them!” /I will try,/ thought Thranduil, lost in a maze of racing, and confusing thoughts. He just hoped he had enough strength left to fight death. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mithrandir had finally located Legolas and Remmen in the gardens. Summer lasted long this year and Arien shone generously, showering Arda with warmth. In a few weeks’ time he would sail for Valinor, and although he yearned to return there, his heart ached for the ones who would stay behind. It also ached with a sweet pain for the youngest addition to Aragorn’s household. The Elfling was lying on his back on a blanket, resting comfortably against Legolas, who was relaxed in half-slumber. Although the Woodland Elf appeared asleep, Mithrandir was confident Legolas had long heard him approach. “Mithrandir,” said Legolas slowly, yawning and pushing himself up onto an elbow to welcome the Istar. Remmen produced some unintelligible sounds and Legolas immediately redirected his attention to his son. “It appears you really like being out in the open.” “He is a true Woodland Elf, then,” said Mithrandir, who sat down cross- legged opposite Legolas. “The Valar truly blessed you with this gift.” Remmen awkwardly raised an arm and tried to grab hold of Mithrandir’s beard. The Wizard reacted by offering Remmen his thumb instead and before he knew it, the baby was suckling the digit. “He is very eager.” “And very hungry most of the time! He will be a very chubby baby,” said Legolas lightly. He reached out to gather his son in his arms. “Come here, little one. You don’t want to harass Mithrandir.” “Oh, please let him!” Mithrandir gave Legolas a pleading look. “I like babies.” Legolas arched an eyebrow questioningly, finding Mithrandir had picked Remmen up and was rocking him in his arms. “You do?” There was sense of delight on Mithrandir’s face which he had seldom seen before. “All life is precious, Legolas, but this young fëa shines especially strong. It is a pleasure to hold him.” Mithrandir had settled Remmen on his lap and allowed the baby to play with the long strands of his hair and beard. “Just don’t tug at them.” “I must admit to being a bit surprised,” ventured Legolas eventually. “In what way?” Mithrandir managed a cast a quick look at Legolas before focusing on Remmen again. “I never thought my son and I would be this easily accepted. Thranduil told me that Oropher preferred the family secret to remain exactly that; a secret. Only a handful of trusted advisors ever knew the truth.” Mithrandir considered this. “Much has to do with your person, Legolas. You bravely fought at Aragorn’s side, saved many lives and defended the weak. People remember that. They eagerly accept you and your son.” “For that I am glad,” said Legolas, smiling brightly, but then his expression darkened. “Aragorn told me you will sail for Valinor shortly?” Mithrandir would leave with the same ship that would take Frodo, Galadriel and the twins to the Undying Lands. “That’s true,” admitted Mithrandir. “I wish I could stay longer, but my time here has come to an end.” “And Rúmil, the twins and their lovers will join you?” “But Elrond will stay.” Mithrandir shook his head at that. “Galadriel, Elrond and I agreed a long time ago to sail for Valinor together, but he now broke that pact.” “Because he loves Lindir and wishes to continue to love him.” “I suppose so,” said Mithrandir in a thoughtful tone. “But there is still a number of Elves that will stay.” “Haldir and I will stay until after Aragorn’s passing,” said Legolas calmly. “And then there is Celeborn.” A sad tone colored Mithrandir’s voice. “I wish he would change his mind and join us, but he is too connected to Arda. He will stay as well. Galadriel and he agreed it was time to dissolve their marriage, enabling both of them to choose new lovers.” Legolas frowned. “But I thought their love was deep and sincere!” “It is,” confirmed Mithrandir, “Their bond can never be undone, but they love each other enough to give one another a new chance at happiness.” Mithrandir’s gaze now darkened as well. “Did you receive any news from your father yet? I worry about him.” “Haldir will bring him here. I have to believe in that.” Legolas’ features briefly contorted when Remmen pulled hard on Mithrandir’s hair, causing the Istar to release a pained groan. “I will take him.” “No, let him.” Mithrandir fondly smiled at the little one. “I wish I had been there for Erestor when he was this young.” Legolas finally understood. “You can play with Remmen whenever you wish.” Maybe playing with the baby would ease Mithrandir’s pain ever so slightly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “We should make camp for the night,” said Orophin in a thoughtful tone, after catching sight of the exhaustion on Thranduil’s pale face. “Make something hot to eat and encourage him to sleep. I will take first watch.” Haldir nodded his approval and called out to Rúmil, who was riding at the head of their little group. A few moments later, Orophin had left to find a good position to keep watch, and Rúmil and Haldir managed to get Thranduil off of the horse and safely onto the grass. Haldir placed his bedroll on the grass and assisted Thranduil in getting comfortable whilst Rúmil built a small, but satisfactory fire. After seating himself next to the Woodland Elf, Haldir gently pulled Thranduil into a sitting position against him. “Can you hear me?” Thranduil’s eyes were unfocused and he wasn’t sure just how alert the elder Elf was. A weak nod against his shoulder reassured him, and he told Rúmil to reheat the broth the cook had packed into their saddle bags. Maneuvering Thranduil a little more, he gained a free view of the other’s face. “We are leaving Mirkwood. Do you understand that we are taking you to Minas Tirith?” Thranduil’s weakness worried him, and he hoped the Woodland Elf would slowly recover now that he was being cared for. “I… un…der…stand…” stuttered Thranduil in a barely audible tone. His voice was hoarse and raw from being unused for so long. His gaze found Haldir’s and he stared questioningly at his son in law. “Legolas sent us. He was worried about you, and rightly so,” explained Haldir, who accepted the bowl filled with hot broth, which Rúmil now handed him. “You should eat something. You need to get something hot inside of you.” He brought the spoon to Thranduil’s lips, and the Woodland Elf obediently swallowed the warm liquid. At least Thranduil was cooperating and not fighting him! Maybe Thranduil even wanted to be taken care of? “We will reach Minas Tirith in one week and then you will meet your grandson for the very first time. He is a delight – and a handful,” said Haldir, smiling wickedly. “I reckon he takes more after you than after Legolas and I combined!” Haldir’s heart warmed, seeing the smile that now appeared on Thranduil’s face. “Don’t you dare give up on yourself, Ada. You still have a lot to fight and live for!” Thranduil obediently ate more of the broth and the in the warm liquid soaked bread. He was finally beginning to feel warm again, and together with that warmth, his ability to think rationally returned. It finally dawned on him that he had almost surrendered to death; that he had almost deserted his family. But his grief and longing for Remmen had been all- consuming, and even now he wondered how to continue to live. Haldir read some of Thranduil’s emotions in the surprisingly lucid eyes. The emerald, green color was slowly returning to the irises, which assured him they had been in time to reclaim the elder Elf. “Give yourself time to grow strong again. You are weak from grief now, but you will continue to grow stronger.” Thranduil managed a weak smile, touched by Haldir’s concern for him. For the first time in moons, he felt sleepy and his eyes were actually closing. “Yes, give in to sleep, Ada. It is a healing sleep.” Haldir gently maneuvered Thranduil onto his side, and then gestured for Rúmil to join them as well. Thranduil was in Haldir’s strong arms and the march warden held his charge as close as possible, watching the deep lines grow shallow and relaxed in sleep. Thranduil shivered, and Rúmil lay down behind the Woodland Elf, spooning himself behind his charge. Thusly cocooned – feeling warm and secure – Thranduil finally surrendered to sleep. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Celeborn paced his private quarters, terribly missing Galadriel’s company. They had seldom been apart during these last few millennia, and letting her leave for Valinor was one of the hardest things he would ever do. But Galadriel yearned to be reunited with her loved ones – her daughter in particular – and he felt it was unfair to ask her to stay. But that left him lonely – a feeling he was hardly accustomed to. Feeling caged inside these four walls, he quickly opened the door and fled this section of the building. He found himself heading for the gardens, where he found Elrond and Lindir, sitting quietly on a bench, holding hands and whispering softly. He managed to remain hidden from their view, and watched them a moment longer. He didn’t begrudge Elrond his new love. He had seen the half-Elf grieve when Celebrían had been injured and eventually had left for Valinor. Like Galadriel wouldn’t begrudge him a new lover, Celebrían wouldn’t begrudge Elrond his. But seeing them so happy fed his loneliness and he quickly continued on. Not in the mood for meeting more love birds, he headed for a more secluded part of the gardens. But he didn’t have any luck and ran into Erestor and Glorfindel next, who were tending to their section of the gardens. One look at them told him they were desperately in love again. Any troubles they might have had where gone now. He managed to keep back a growl of frustration and left the gardens behind him, heading for the forest instead. He ventured deep inside the forest and found comfort in the fact that the trees were telling him tales, inviting him to sit within their branches and to listen to his pain. His first reaction was to ignore them, but in the end he gave in, and sought out an ancient oak tree. Quickly climbing it, he settled against a heavy and strong branch, leaning his back against the trunk of the tree. Listening to the trees’ chatter, his heart calmed down and he began to feel something akin to inner peace again. Beta read by Sulien. All remaining mistakes are mine. Title: Behind Emerald Eyes Author: Morgana Author's Email: morganalebeau@yahoo.com Web page: http://www.avalon.cobweb.nl Main pairings; Haldir/ Legolas, Thranduil/ surprise, Celeborn/surprise. See for other already established pairings LOML. Rating: NC-17. Summary: Just when Thranduil has given up on finding love and resigned himself to fading, a new love enters his life. Disclaimer: Not mine, Tolkien’s. Hum, I guess Magolion is mine… And so is Remmen… Warning: mpreg, minor angst, child loss and the story is AU of course! Author’s Note: Beta read by Sulien. All remaining mistakes are mine. FB is always welcome, but flames get send to Sauron! Behind Emerald Eyes Part 4 Making his way through the gardens after spending most of the day listening to the trees, Celeborn happened upon Legolas and Remmen, who were also on their way back to their rooms. Since Legolas and he had talked very little, he now saw an opportunity for conversation. “It was a beautiful day, wasn’t it?” Legolas, who only now noticed the Elf-Lord’s presence, nodded quickly. He had been lost in thought, his musings with his fathers instead on focusing on his surroundings. Remmen was asleep, cradled easily against his chest. “But it won’t be long before autumn will make its presence known.” Celeborn smiled at the sleeping baby. “I wish Celebrían had been that easy to handle, but she used to cry a lot during the first years of her life.” “The only time Remmen cries is when he is hungry,” revealed Legolas, looking dotingly at his firstborn. “He is a surprisingly sweet baby. I expected sleepless nights, filled with crying, but he sleeps through most of them.” “You are very fortunate then.” Celeborn studied Remmen’s face, relaxed in sleep. “I recognize some of Haldir’s features.” Legolas smiled warmly. “So do I.” His gaze shifted from his son to Celeborn. “We seldom talked in the past. I recall only one occasion and that was when my father sent me to ‘Lorien after my coming of age. He felt I should meet the rulers of the Golden Wood.” Celeborn nodded. “Your father and I didn’t part on good terms after the Battle of the Last Alliance. When we went separate ways, he was embittered because he was only leading a small percentage of his people home.” “He never spoke ill of you,” added Legolas when they had finally left the gardens and stepped into the corridor. “But I did hear echoes of regret in his voice.” “We were friends once,” volunteered Celeborn. “But communication eventually stopped. I haven’t seen Thranduil for three millennia.” And oddly enough he realized he was looking forward to hopefully rekindling their lost friendship. “The last time I sent him a message was after Remmen died. I offered to visit with him, but he never sent a reply. I gathered that was his way of telling me not to meddle with his affairs.” Legolas sighed deeply. “My father wasn’t coherent after Remmen died and a lot of messages remained unopened and unanswered. Our advisors did their best to deal with the situation, but chaos ensued. I doubt your message went unanswered on purpose.” “I hoped something like that had happened,” he explained, seeing Legolas’ puzzled look. “For that means he might still want to talk to me.” Haldir had told him about his journey to Mirkwood to collect Thranduil, and Celeborn curiously asked, “Do you think Haldir will succeed in bringing your father here? If memory serves me right, Thranduil never left Mirkwood after returning from the Battle of the Last Alliance.” “My father has greatly changed over the last three millennia.” Legolas opened the door to his rooms and stepped inside, gesturing for Celeborn to follow. It was important to him that the elder Elf learned more about Thranduil. His father needed to see friendly faces upon his arrival. “And I greatly worry about him. His mourning has taken on unhealthy proportions. I worry he will fade after all.” “And that is why Haldir won’t take no for an answer.” Celeborn had wondered about Haldir’s determination to bring Thranduil back with him. “Your father has a friend in me, if he desires it.” “I will tell him,” said Legolas, giving Celeborn a blinding smile. Realizing the time had come to give Legolas and Remmen some privacy, Celeborn excused himself and headed for his own rooms. His short conversation with Legolas had given him lots to think about. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ithil had risen for a second time since they had taken to the road and Haldir again called for a halt. The three brothers quickly divided all tasks and it was agreed that Rúmil would go hunting whilst Orophin stood guard. That arrangement gave Haldir plenty of time to study Thranduil and to try to engage the remarkably silent Woodland Elf in conversation. “You seem more alert this eve,” said Haldir offering Thranduil the water skin that Elrond had filled with miruvor before the three brothers had set out for Mirkwood. The half-Elf had thought it might aid Thranduil’s recovery and Haldir now saw to it that the Woodland King drank one cup each day. The strong wine had already put some color back on the haggard looking face. “I feel more alert,” confirmed Thranduil softly, no longer stuttering. “But I still feel cold.” The warm riding cloak did little to ward off the cold emanating from within his soul. Haldir reacted to hearing those words and moved closer to Thranduil, sharing his body heat with the recovering Elf. Handing his charge a slice of bread and cheese, he watched Thranduil munch slowly. “Hopefully Rúmil will catch some game.” Thranduil needed something more substantial than broth and bread. Thranduil nodded absentmindedly, still nibbling on the food. “Would you tell me about my grandson? And Legolas, of course.” He cast an insecure look at Haldir. “I never wanted to desert them. The grief just took me.” Haldir nodded reassuringly. “Legolas is well. The birth went without complications and we now have a beautiful baby boy. Legolas called him Remmen.” Haldir sucked in his breath, seeing the little color leave Thranduil’s face again. Hadn’t he mentioned his son’s name before? “Legolas chose the name to honor his father.” “He shouldn’t have done that.” Thranduil quickly sipped more miruvor. Gingerly, his eyes sought out Haldir’s. “The child deserves a better name. Not a name that belongs to one of the dead.” “Aiya,” said Haldir, sighing deeply. Thranduil’s pain felt very real to him and he reached out, wrapping an arm around the fragile form beside him. “Think of it as a way to restore life to your former mate. This way we will always remember him.” Tears made their way down Thranduil’s face. “I cannot stop mourning his passing and it has become so much worse since Legolas and you left.” “But you will shortly be reunited with Legolas.” Haldir gently raised Thranduil’s face to make eye contact with the elder Elf. “And once Legolas and I decide to settle down somewhere, you are more than welcome to stay with us. We want you in our lives.” “Are you sure?” Thranduil frowned. “I understand that my son wants me close, but don’t you consider me a hassle? A nuisance?” “Never.” Haldir wiped the last, remaining tears from Thranduil’s cheeks. “You have become very dear to me.” Hoping Thranduil felt more at ease now, Haldir urged his charge to eat more of the bread. “Rúmil, you had better catch something tonight!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ About half an hour later, Rúmil returned, carrying three dead rabbits with him. He sat down, cleaned them and then prepared them over the fire. They seldom ate meat, but at times the weaker specimens needed to be taken out for the stronger ones to flourish. Casting a probing look at Haldir and Thranduil, he found his brother tightly holding the Woodland Elf. He had never realized just how close a family the three of them had become – Legolas, Thranduil and Haldir. Haldir had seldom called Celeborn father, and to hear Haldir call Thranduil father instead was a strange thing. But he accepted their bonding like his brothers had accepted his love for Mithrandir. “Here, eat this.” Rúmil had put the most succulent and nourishing pieces of meat into a bowl and now handed it to Thranduil, who gingerly accepted it. Thranduil didn’t feel comfortable eating the best parts and wanted to object, but Rúmil’s and Haldir’s gaze stopped him from doing so, and he started to eat. His body reacted at once, crying out for more once he had finished his helping. A loud growl, emanating from Thranduil’s still partly empty stomach echoed through the night and made Rúmil smile knowingly. “Here, eat more, as you are still hungry.” He had refilled the bowl and handed it once more to Thranduil. “I cannot eat more. What about the three of you?” “My brothers and I are healthy and can easily live on bread, fruit and cheese, but you cannot,” replied Haldir sternly. “And now eat.” Realizing they wouldn’t accept no from him, Thranduil resigned himself to the situation and enjoyed the food. “Haldir? What does my grandson look like?” “He has my eyes – according to Legolas – and his golden hair,” said Haldir, smiling warmly. “You are a grandfather now.” Thranduil’s still weak smile gained a bit more radiance. “Grandfather… Haldir, I do want to meet my grandson. Don’t let me fade, do you hear me?” “I vow that you will reach Minas Tirith alive and that your health will continue to improve. Put your faith in me.” Thranduil tiredly rested his head on Haldir’s shoulder, vowing to find a way to finally let Remmen go. It was time to let go of the past and embrace the present. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “The foul creature breathed hot, withering fire, and its pointy tail lashed out at us! Ecthelion moved quickly and took out one of those accursed Balrogs, but there were still more monsters left, and we—“ “Glorfindel!” Erestor arched an eyebrow, wondering about the appropriateness of Glorfindel’s tale. Remmen promptly cried out in displeasure and Erestor privately cursed himself for interrupting the tale; apparently Remmen had enjoyed listening to Glorfindel’s voice. “Maybe you should tell him something more suitable.” “Oh, I could tell him about the battle we fought at the slopes of Mount Orodruin, when we fought Sauron!” Glorfindel’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “Gagaga…!” Remmen cried out again, and his tiny hands reached for Glorfindel’s tunic. The blond was seated in the rocking chair, rocking him slowly and he wanted to hear that golden voice again! Why had it stopped? “No more bloodshed, please,” requested Erestor, who quickly fetched the bottled milk in case Remmen was hungry again. “And for the Valar’s sake! Talk to him!” Glorfindel gave Erestor a wicked grin. “I never thought you would order me to talk, my love.” “Oh, I will never hear the end of this!” Erestor joined Glorfindel, and offered Remmen the milk, but the baby refused to drink, staring at the golden-haired Elda instead. “Ecthelion took out three of them; one after the other. Gondolin trembled on its fundaments when a new attack was launched. One of the dratted creatures cornered me! I had to take him out, you understand that, don’t you?” Glorfindel was so caught up in his story-telling that he didn’t notice the fact that Erestor’s eyes were growing misty with tears. Remmen, who stared at him with big eyes, was slightly drooling, and the chubby fingers had wrapped themselves deeply in the fabric of his tunic. “I took him out, but—“ Glorfindel stopped, shocked to hear Erestor choke back a sob. “Love? What?” Erestor’s swimming eyes met Glorfindel’s brilliant ones. “I never realized that… that you… Did you know… How did it feel?” “Death?” Glorfindel’s voice radiated calm and understanding. Remmen thankfully remained quiet, and Glorfindel managed to take hold of Erestor’s hand, pulling his beloved close. “I wouldn’t recommend it.” Erestor leaned in closer and pressed a possessive kiss on Glorfindel’s lips. “Don’t you ever die again; you hear me?” “I hear you,” said Glorfindel, a wicked sparkle returning to his azure eyes. “Love? I think Remmen needs changing. The story must have been too exciting for such a young Elfling.” Erestor’s nose caught the foul scent and he moved away. “You ‘entertained’ him… You change him.” “Ah, love of my life, I am so glad we cannot have any children. We would be lousy parents.” Although it was fun to sit with Remmen for a few hours whilst Legolas slept, he was glad he could return the Elfling to Legolas when their time was up. “He loves to listen to you when you tell tales,” said Erestor warmly. Glorfindel grinned. “Let’s change the little handful together. I will undertake the dangerous operation of removing the dirty diaper, whilst you move in with a clean cloth to wipe his bum and then we will apply a clean diaper together. Between the two of us we should manage to carry out this perilous mission.” “That sounds very dangerous indeed, but I will face this mortal danger for your sake.” Erestor stared deeply into his beloved’s azure eyes and kissed him again. This time, Remmen cooed happily – approvingly -- from between them, giving their kiss his seal of approval. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rúmil’s eyes narrowed, wondering what Thranduil was hiding beneath his cape. They had traveled during the day and now that night was upon them, they would rest. Although it was Haldir who spent most of his time with Thranduil, his oldest brother had insisted he stood watch tonight, so his brothers could rest. That left him in charge of Thranduil, as Orophin was out hunting. Thranduil looked up at Rúmil from where he was seated and pulled his riding cloak closer. He preferred having Haldir close, but knew all three brothers were worried about him and intent on caring for him. “What do you have there?” Rúmil sat down beside Thranduil and stirred their little fire, which had been about to die. Between the green of Thranduil’s cloak, he saw something red – or brown. He studied Thranduil, trying to determine the nature of the hidden object. A soft hiss escaped from within the confines of Thranduil’s cloak and the head of a fox poked out, giving Rúmil a displeased look. “A fox?” Rúmil smiled warmly. Each day spent with Thranduil proved to be a new challenge. “Where did you find him?” The animal was still young – a cub. “Shouldn’t he be with his mother?” “He was alone when I came upon him. I do hope his mother will come back for him.” In the meantime he had taken the animal under his wing. Rúmil teasingly said, “You still have those mothering instincts, don’t you?” Thranduil’s eyes darkened momentarily, but he then realized Rúmil was merely teasing him. He had to grow used to being teased again. He had dwelt in darkness for so long! Rúmil continued, “Carrying Legolas and giving birth to him must have been quite the experience. Except for Legolas and you I don’t know of another male who ever carried a child to term.” “It is a gift – or a curse,” said Thranduil, gently petting the fox’s warm body. “My grandfather viewed it as a curse, but my father didn’t and neither do I. It is a gift.” Rúmil moistened his lips, wondering how personal Thranduil would allow this conversation to become. “Your condition is improving. When we found you, we were worried we had come too late.” “I gave into the darkness of my grief and allowed it to consume me. I had reached a point where I just wanted to die. I had completely forgotten about Legolas. He had written he was pregnant, but the fact somehow never registered.” Sudden movement to his right revealed a fox, and Thranduil released the cub, which immediately headed for his mother. “Be safe,” whispered Thranduil, smiling at the two animals as they disappeared from view. Rúmil also smiled, and offered Thranduil his daily cup of miruvor. They would eat later, once Orophin rejoined them, but he already handed the recovering Elf some bread as well. “You can soak it in the miruvor if you want, but you are eating that.” Thranduil smiled. “At times you sound like Legolas.” “I must admit you surprised me the first time we met. I had heard these tales about an arrogant King, and you proved them all wrong.” “I will take that as a compliment then.” Thranduil dipped the bread into the miruvor and munched on it. “I had a part in letting those rumors grow. I isolated myself, and the only communication that took place was through my advisors and Legolas.” Rúmil gave the elder Elf a wistful smile. “You have buried yourself in your past too long. It is time to face the presence.” “I know that.” Thranduil had finished the bread and now emptied the cup. “And I am trying – hard. But it is difficult.” “Maybe it is a good thing then that we are traveling to Minas Tirith. A new environment, new faces and the presence of your son and grandson might work wonders.” “I hope so,” admitted Thranduil in a weary voice. “I am so tired of living in the past – of being alone.” “You are no longer alone,” said Rúmil, finally reaching out to place a hand on Thranduil’s shoulder and squeezing gently. “You are with your family now.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Erestor managed to carry out his father’s suggestion and channeled the fire he had created, until it was situated in the palm of his hand. It was becoming easier to manipulate the fire, and Mithrandir’s guidance ensured no one was hurt in the process. “I think I can control it.” “The fire, yes,” confirmed Mithrandir, carefully probing his son’s eyes, which were alive with fire. “But what about your other powers?” “What other powers?” Erestor’s big eyes fastened on his father. “Don’t tell me I have more powers!” “I am referring to the fact that you can farspeak with anyone you choose and your ability to guide others in this way. Do you still maintain your link with Glorfindel?” “It has grown even stronger,” admitted Erestor. “I feel his presence – his love for me – constantly.” They were seated on a bench, enjoying Arien’s last rays for the day. Father and son enjoyed spending time with each other and both wished they had known millennia ago they were related. “Am I right to assume that you and Glorfindel have sorted out the last of your problems and are truly happy?” Mithrandir had seen them work in their little garden and had sensed an intense feeling of belonging, seeing them together. Erestor blushed weakly. “Yes, we have.” “But?” “I still need to grow accustomed to his charming new self. It feels like he never stopped wooing me. Every day he tries to win my heart all over again – though it already belongs to him.” “And that is a bad thing?” Mithrandir gave his son a probing look. “He never acted like that in the past and… I am afraid it will stop.” Mithrandir arched an eyebrow. “Erestor?” “I like the fact that he tries to woo me anew each day, although that still takes some getting used to – but at the same time, I love it when he pays me that much attention. I crave it. I am not sure how I will react when he takes that away from me.” “Did you tell him that?” Erestor’s answer would show if trust between them had really been established. “I did.” Erestor’s blush actually deepened. “And he proceeded to ensure me that he would never stop wooing me.” Mithrandir smiled. “Glorfindel has finally realized how much pleasure can be found in making you happy. Let him.” Erestor nodded once. “And then there is Magolion. I don’t know how to react to him.” His brother had tried making amends whenever possible, but he still didn’t trust the elder Elf. “I still feel he can turn on me and lash out at me the moment I least expect it.” ”That will take time, yes,” agreed Mithrandir, “Magolion is trying to win your trust and you should give him a chance to prove himself.” But he also knew how difficult it was for Erestor to give Magolion that chance. “Magolion has won Elrohir’s heart. Do you really think Elrohir is fooled that easily?” “Elrohir is a good judge of people, but I also know how devious Magolion is.” “Was,” corrected Mithrandir, wondering if he could help his son accept the fact that Magolion had changed. “He risked his life for you in Sauron’s keep.” “Yes, he did. But I still don’t know why.” Mithrandir had seen Magolion’s approach, but had chosen not to reveal his presence to Erestor. Signaling for the other Elf to step up to them, he clasped Erestor’s hand in his. “Why don’t you ask him?” Alarmed at finding Magolion standing in front of him, Erestor tried to rise from the bench, but Mithrandir stopped him. Reluctantly, he remained seated. He would have preferred to look Magolion in the eye, instead of having to look up at him. “Yes, why don’t you ask me?” Magolion forced his heart to beat slower. It had sped up hearing the last lines of their conversation. “I asked you that question before,” said Erestor in a defensive tone. “Try again.” Erestor bit his bottom lip and forced out the question. “Why did you risk your life for me?” “Because…” Magolion frowned, searching for the right words. Before answering Erestor, he sat down on the grass, realizing Erestor felt uncomfortable having to look up at him. “Because Elrohir taught me about brotherly love. Until I met Elladan and Elrohir I had no idea what it meant to be the elder brother. I learned its importance by watching Elrohir and Elladan interact. It took me a while – as I was too busy sorting out my thoughts – but I then realized I wanted that with you as well. I had changed and couldn’t stand by and watch you die. I had to do something, even if the act would demand my life. Elrohir has taught me well.” “You want that with me?” Erestor stared at Magolion in disbelief. “But you hate me!” “I hated you – past tense,” said Magolion, correcting his brother. “And it wasn’t really you I hated. I hated Nana, and Mithrandir to some degree, but it was easier to direct that hatred toward you.” He drew in a deep breath, and encouraged by Mithrandir’s approving look, he continued, “I hurt you in the past. I hurt you in many ways and many times and I understand you cannot just forgive me and move on. All I want is a chance. A single chance to prove myself to you.” Mithrandir cast a probing glance at Erestor, realizing his son was busy searching Magolion’s thoughts for the lies in them. Instead, his son only encountered truth. That shocked Erestor and Mithrandir gently rubbed his son’s knuckles, feeling the impact that realization had on Erestor. Erestor stared at his brother in disbelief. Magolion was speaking the truth. His brother really wanted to make amends and build a relationship. It was only fair to tell him that their time to do so was very limited. “I won’t sail for Valinor. Glorfindel and I will stay.” Magolion and Mithrandir gave Erestor a surprised look. “You will stay?” Mithrandir hadn’t expected his son to stay. “Why?” “I am not ready yet to sail. My heart tells me to stay.” Erestor looked pleadingly at his father. “My time hasn’t come yet.” Mithrandir’s gaze grew troubled. “But you will sail for the Undying Lands one day?” “I think so. Maybe after Aragon’s passing. I just cannot leave yet.” “Then our time is limited here,” realized Magolion, “But I still want to try. Will you spend some time with me tomorrow?” Erestor considered his brother’s request and studied the other’s eyes for a long time. “Yes, I will.” Magolion smiled, relieved that Erestor was giving him this chance to prove himself. He vowed not to let his brother down. Beta read by Sulien. All remaining mistakes are mine. Title: Behind Emerald Eyes Author: Morgana Author's Email: morganalebeau@yahoo.com Web page: http://www.avalon.cobweb.nl Main pairings; Haldir/ Legolas, Thranduil/ surprise, Celeborn/surprise. See for other already established pairings LOML. Rating: NC-17. Summary: Just when Thranduil has given up on finding love and resigned himself to fading, a new love enters his life. Disclaimer: Not mine, Tolkien’s. Hum, I guess Magolion is mine… And so is Remmen… Warning: mpreg, minor angst, child loss and the story is AU of course! Author’s Note: Beta read by Sulien. All remaining mistakes are mine. FB is always welcome, but flames get send to Sauron! Behind Emerald Eyes Part 5 Thranduil managed to dismount unaided – a first since they had left Mirkwood. They had been traveling for one week now and Haldir expected them to reach Minas Tirith tomorrow evening. The thought of being reunited with Legolas thrilled Thranduil, but he still worried he would be considered a burden – in spite of Haldir’s assurances that they loved having him close. Haldir had called for a stop when his brothers had expressed their desire to go swimming in the stream they had come upon, and after seeing Thranduil’s hopeful look, he had agreed. Rúmil and Orophin were already in the process of undressing, after having seen to their horses’ needs. The two brothers then ran into the water and began splashing one another. Haldir smiled, still standing on the shore, taking his time to undress. To his surprise, he found Thranduil had entered the water already, and by the smile on his face he was clearly enjoying the feel of the cool water against his skin. The Woodland Elf was careful to stay immersed most of the time – that way his still too skinny body wouldn’t draw any concerned looks. But Haldir knew Thranduil was on the road to recovery and that the elder Elf needed time to put some proper meat onto his bones and wouldn’t have mentioned it. But Thranduil didn’t know that. Finally naked as well, Haldir joined his brothers and promptly found himself chased by them. At times he wondered if his brothers would ever grow up, but at the same time he had to admit he loved their carefree spirit. Whilst wrestling Rúmil – and winning of course – he kept one eye on Thranduil, who remained at a distance, obviously not wanting to infringe on what the Woodland Elf thought was family bantering. Haldir thanked the Valar when his brothers finally calmed down and settled for floating on the water and teasing the curious fish that had swum up to them. He headed for Thranduil instead. The elder Elf had left the water and had wrapped himself in his riding cloak. Sitting down next to the elder Elf on the grass, he wrung the water from his long, silver hair and then combed through it using his fingers. “You must be looking forward to seeing Legolas and Remmen.” Thranduil nodded. “But I still have to grow accustomed to my grandson’s name. I never expected Legolas to choose that name for his son.” “You didn’t?” Haldir frowned, whilst braiding his hair into a single, loose plait. “Why? You must know how much he loved Remmen.” “I do, but I still didn’t expect him to name his son Remmen.” Thranduil buried deeper into the folds on his riding cloak. “It took me aback.” Haldir studied Thranduil closely, and was relieved to see that the once dull and blank expression had completely vanished. The sparkle had returned to the emerald eyes, which were alert again. It was amazing what a week on the road had done for Thranduil. What the grieving Elf needed was attention and some tender, loving care. Legolas had always been the one to supply that affection, but with the Prince taking part in the Fellowship and later on staying in Minas Tirith, Thranduil had begun to fade again. Thranduil swallowed hard and then gave Haldir a probing look. “Who else is staying in Minas Tirith?” “Elrond and—“ Haldir paused, hearing Thranduil’s sharp intake of breath. “It is my understanding that you haven’t talked to him since the battle at Mount Orodruin?” “We parted on bad terms,” acknowledged Thranduil in concern. “Maybe I can avoid dealing with him.” “I doubt that very much.” Seeing Thranduil’s wondering expression, he said, “Elrond is a renowned healer and Legolas would feel more comfortable if Elrond examined you. The Peredhel did supervise his pregnancy and successfully delivered Remmen, thusly earning his trust.” Thranduil’s gaze was darkening, realizing Elrond would confront him. The half-Elf had never been one for avoidance; Elrond preferred to deal with problems head on. “Who else?” “Lord Celeborn arrived a few weeks ago.” Haldir smiled fondly, but the smile froze on his face seeing Thranduil’s startled expression. “You cannot possibly hold a grudge against him! He is my father, for Elbereth’s sake! He raised me! I *know* he is a good person!” Haldir automatically came to Celeborn’s defense. Thranduil smiled sorrowfully at Haldir, hating to see his son in law torn in loyalty. “I haven’t spoken to them for over 3000 years. I blamed them for my father’s death.” “Do you still?” Thranduil shrugged. “I don’t really know. At the time, I was convinced they were to blame, together with Ereinion, but I am not so certain anymore. I loved my father, but I also know he tended to act rashly and recklessly. He…” Talking about Oropher caused an old pain to wake again inside him. “He meant the world to me.” Haldir thought he understood. Oropher had been Thranduil’s mother and father – his everything. “What will you do when you meet Elrond and Celeborn?” “I will try to act politely, but I am not certain I will succeed, Haldir. I refused to deal with them for three millennia.” Thranduil brushed a damp strand out of his face and smiled, watching as Rúmil and Orophin tried to catch some fish – their dinner. “I will feel out of place there – I already do. I ruled Mirkwood, now I am just a visitor.” Haldir shook his head. “Legolas has won Aragorn’s affection and friendship, and the King of Gondor will treat you with the utmost respect. You will be a most honored guest.” “Ah, yes, Aragorn. Or Elessar, as he is known among his people. Legolas told me about him in his letters. I know they have become good friends.” Thranduil pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them. Staring at the water – and the two splashing Elves – he added, “I am afraid, Haldir. This is the first time in over three millennia that I left my home and I am headed for alien lands.” Haldir gave Thranduil a wistful smile. “Why not see it as finally coming home? Coming home to your family and friends of old, whom you grew alienated from. Why not see this as a chance to bury the past and move on?” Thranduil returned the smile. “It is hard for me to see it that way, but I will try.” “And who knows,” whispered Haldir into Thranduil’s ear, “maybe the Valar will grace you with a new love?” Haldir was surprised to see Thranduil grow pale. “Do you remember that night beneath the stars? You wished you would find a new love.” Thranduil closed his eyes. “I already lost my beloved, Haldir. True love only finds you once in a lifetime. Not twice – never twice.” “I beg to differ.” Haldir caressed Thranduil’s face and waited for the swimming, green eyes to open again. “You deserve another chance at love and I am convinced the Valar will grant you one.” A single tear escaped Thranduil’s eyes, which Haldir caught between his fingertips. “Don’t ever give up, Ada.” Thranduil’s jaw set firmly with newly found determination. If Haldir believed in him, he couldn’t do less. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Sire? The border sentries report that Haldir’s group has been sighted. They are expected to arrive at sunset.” The soldier bowed respectfully and then left the room after delivering this news to his King. Aragorn immediately caught the brilliant shine born in his friend’s azure eyes at hearing this news. “We will welcome them together, Legolas,” he offered, “and dinner will be served upon their arrival in your private rooms.” For Legolas’ sake he hoped that Thranduil had agreed to come to Minas Tirith. “Do you think…?” Legolas didn’t dare finish his sentence. What if Thranduil had denied him and had stayed in Mirkwood instead? But the Elves were leaving for Valinor, and eventually Thranduil would be all alone in his realm. “I hope so.” Aragorn smiled warmly at Legolas, who was seated on the floor on a warm, thick fur together with his son. Remmen was reaching out with his tiny hands, and cooed happily when Legolas picked him up. “Remmen is a true delight and your father should get to know his grandson.” Legolas was beginning to feel nervous now that Haldir’s group had been sighted. He had to wait several hours to finally find out if his father was with them and that knowledge caused his stomach to do some nauseating somersaults. Haldir had promised him that he wouldn’t fail, but he also knew how stubborn his father could be. Elrond – who still regularly checked on his former patient – stepped into the room to see how Legolas and Remmen fared and instantly noticed the golden-haired Elf’s excited state. “Legolas? Shouldn’t you be resting? Maybe you overestimated your strength and—“ Legolas cut him short. “Haldir will arrive during the evening and I pray to the Valar that my father is with him.” Until now Elrond hadn’t really considered how to approach Thranduil, but he was now forced to do so. “Celeborn and I should be there to welcome your father.” Hopefully showing Thranduil they were willing to rebuild an old friendship would be the first step in the right direction. “I will inform Celeborn.” Legolas nodded once and felt slightly relieved now that Elrond was gone. Looking at Aragorn, he whispered, “What if he stayed in Mirkwood?” “I feel confident that Thranduil heeded your request to come visit with you.” Aragorn leaned in closer and rested a hand on Legolas’ shoulder. “From your stories, I gather that he greatly loves you and that he is a kind, if somewhat stubborn Elf. He will want to get to know your son.” Legolas drew in a deep breath and then sighed. “I hope you are right.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The fact that Erestor grew tense and rigged when they met for their first walk, made Magolion nervous in turn. He understood that it took Erestor time to understand and accept that he had changed, and he felt thankful that his younger brother was giving him this opportunity to prove himself. But the silence between them was becoming uncomfortable and Magolion was desperately thinking of something to say. “I suppose I should properly thank you for saving my life,” said Erestor, breaking the silence first. “I never expected you to act in that way.” “I have changed,” said Magolion, cocking his head to study Erestor’s wary expression. “Elrond started the process but Elrohir helped me finish it. Without him, I wouldn’t have made it. I would probably have resorted to my old ways if it hadn’t been for Elrohir’s love. He supported me and even more importantly – he believed in me.” Magolion wondered if his next remark was still appropriate, but he went ahead anyway. “Much like you believed in Glorfindel after all the pain he caused you. Glorfindel wouldn’t have made it either without your love.” Erestor took his time to consider Magolion’s words. He couldn’t deny there was a measure of truth to them. “Whenever I look at you, I am reminded of the older brother that laughed at me and sent me away when I came to him for comfort. The brother that hurt Lindir and tried to take Glorfindel away from me.” Magolion swallowed hard; knowing he had to acknowledge the vile role he had played in the past. “After seeing Elladan and Elrohir interact, I regret that I never was the big brother you so badly needed. I was so focused on my own pain and worries that I never realized you didn’t have the same tools I had to fight off the pain. You were an Elfling and I had already reached majority. I should have stepped in there to stop any bullying. I should have been the one you came running to when you were hurting.” Erestor quickly turned his head away. He didn’t want Magolion to see the tears that had formed in his dark eyes. “I really wanted that -- a brother -- a real brother. I still want it.” “You do?” That admission surprised Magolion and he halted in his tracks. Realizing that Erestor was refusing to look at him, he moved until he stood in front of his younger brother. The tears that still leaked from Erestor’s eyes touched his heart, and he gingerly reached out – uncertain if his touch was welcome and would be accepted by the hurting Elf. Erestor involuntarily held his breath, feeling Magolion’s fingertips hesitantly caress his face. He almost took a step away from the other Elf, but forced himself to stay in place and accept the touch. If he really wanted to give Magolion his chance he had to face his own fears as well. “I am afraid that you will betray me after I give you my trust. You hurt me so deeply, so many times in the past that it is difficult for me to allow you in.” The expression in Erestor’s eyes told Magolion that his brother was being completely honest with him and he appreciated that. “I don’t expect you to simply trust me, Erestor. The fact that we are here, discussing this, is the first step we need to take. Things will get easier from this moment on.” “Do you really think so?” Erestor also realized that this conversation was an important step and wondered if they really had a chance to build some sort of brotherly relationship. The Valar knew he had always wanted one with Magolion. There was still a part of the Elfling left in him who had always craved a big, protective brother. “I am afraid to try,” he admitted honestly. “So am I,” confessed Magolion. “I know that this is my last chance and that letting you down will cost me greatly. I won’t repeat past mistakes; please believe me.” “I want to believe you – I really do.” The Valar help him, but he did! Magolion then gave him a weak, hopeful smile, and his last resistance melted away inside him. Magolion would get his chance to be his big brother, but if Magolion failed, Erestor promised himself to never give his brother a chance again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was hard to say who was the most nervous concerning the upcoming meeting with Thranduil. It *was* easy to say who was the most excited though; Legolas. He constantly shuffled his feet, shifted Remmen in his arms, and continued to scan the horizon, eager to catch a first glimpse of the party about to arrive. Finally, four forms appeared on the road, and it felt like a gigantic burden had been lifted from his shoulders, realizing there were four and not just three riders. “Haldir kept his word,” he whispered absentmindedly, at which Remmen yawned and began to drift off into sleep. Next to Legolas stood Aragorn and Arwen, holding hands. They were happy to see Legolas’ hopes come true. Mithrandir’s gaze already searched for his lover’s features and finding Rúmil smiling at him, he felt relieved. Ever since admitting his feelings to the silver-haired Elf, he was afraid of losing him. Elladan had also joined them, eager to be reunited with Orophin. How he had missed his mate! At Legolas’ other side stood Elrond, who still felt responsible for Legolas’ health. Although two weeks had passed since Legolas had given birth, he still kept a close eye on his charge. But currently his interest lay with the slightly slumped forward form seated in front of Haldir. He was surprised to find that Thranduil wasn’t riding his own horse, and was sharing Haldir’s instead. Celeborn wondered about the same thing, and his eyes narrowed, finding Thranduil pale and fragile looking. His instincts warned him that Thranduil was weaker than he appeared, and his heart went out to the other ruler. They had been close friends once and it still pained him that they had stopped being friends after the Battle of the Last Alliance. Hopefully, he would now get a chance to rebuild that friendship. Impatience and eagerness to be reunited with his father overwhelmed Legolas and he started toward the riders. “Ada!” After giving Haldir a grateful look, he walked over to his father, who was dismounting and heading toward him. Overjoyed at having Thranduil close once more, Legolas literally threw himself into his father’s arms, holding Remmen close. Thranduil reacted instinctively and opened his arms to receive Legolas and his grandson into them. He didn’t know when he had started to cry, but tears dripped from his face, as his arms buried Legolas and Remmen in a hug. “I missed you so much!” Haldir exchanged a pleased smile with Aragorn and Elrond and then dismounted as well. Staying close to Legolas, he waited patiently for the emotional storm to calm down. Rúmil and Orophin slid off the backs of their horses and joined their lovers, exchanging kisses and hugs. They then excused themselves to give their lovers their full attention. Aragorn, who had pulled Arwen into his arms, smiled warmly. Seeing Legolas happy, made him happy. “Welcome to Minas Tirith, King Thranduil.” Thranduil nodded absentmindedly and mumbled a thank you, but all he had eyes for were his son and grandson. Looking into Remmen’s hazel eyes for the first time, it was obvious the little one had inherited those big, curious eyes from Haldir. But the first hairs were golden – Legolas’ heritage. “He is beautiful.” Legolas smiled, giddily. “I am so happy you decided to come here, Ada. Haldir vowed he would bring you here, but I was too afraid to believe he would succeed.” Now that he was finally getting a closer look at his father, his worries reappeared and deepened, seeing the fragile state Thranduil was in. “Ada, are you fading – again?” Thranduil shook his head. “Not any more. I was grieving heavily when Haldir arrived, but the depressing feeling has faded since then.” Aragorn was content to watch the reunion and patiently waited for the moment Thranduil would be ready to greet him in turn. The moment also offered him a chance to study Thranduil and he was taken aback by the uncanny resemblance between Legolas and his father. The only thing that set them apart was their eye color. He knew Thranduil was as old as Elrond was, a bit younger than Celeborn, but the Woodland Elf could have been Legolas’ twin brother. It also gave Thranduil a strange kind of vulnerability, which he couldn’t place. “May I hold him?” Thranduil carefully accepted Remmen into his arms and rocked the baby, who had woken again and was now staring at Thranduil with big eyes. “I named him Remmen,” said Legolas, only now wondering if that name would cause his father pain. He had never considered the name could have a negative effect on Thranduil. “Haldir already told me,” said Thranduil slowly, wondering if he should tell Legolas about his initial reaction to learning that name. “At first I was taken aback by your choice, but I have changed my mind since then. Your father would have approved, I am certain of that.” Remmen’s big eyes were pools of wonder and curiosity and Thranduil smiled warmly at the Elfling. “You are a sweet one.” Proudly, Legolas smiled. “He is a lovely baby.” Seeing Thranduil hold his son and smile at Remmen warmed his heart. Aragorn cleared his throat and Legolas realized he should properly introduce his father. “Aragorn, this is my father, Thranduil.” Thranduil composed himself, but found it still hard to focus on anything else besides Remmen. Tearing his eyes away from the baby, he made eye contact with the King of Men. “Thank you for your hospitality, sire.” “There is no need for titles between us, I reckon – sire,” Aragorn added teasingly, delighted to hear Arwen giggle at his remark. “Legolas is my dear friend and you are most welcome here.” “Thank you.” Thranduil nodded, flattered that Aragorn had welcomed him personally. Next, his gaze shifted to Elrond and Celeborn; he wasn’t certain how to react to their presence. Celeborn sensed Thranduil’s uncertainty and indecision and took the initiative. “It has been a long time since we talked last. I hope we will take up old habits and walk and talk during your stay here.” “Those are kind words,” said Thranduil cautiously, “And I thank you for them.” “I also hope you will enjoy your stay here,” added Elrond, “I am certain that Remmen is enough reason to stay for as long as possible.” Haldir, who had remained silent until now, stepped up to Legolas and kissed his husband. “We have a lot to discuss, my love.” Giving Thranduil a look that said ‘don’t you dare revert back to mourning!’ he gently stroked his son’s face. “I won’t be parted from the two of you again for a very long time.” Thranduil judged it best to hand Remmen to Haldir, who was dotingly looking at his firstborn. Remmen settled comfortably against his father’s chest and slowly fell asleep again. “Let me show you to your rooms,” said Legolas, eagerly taking his father’s hand in his. “Aragorn made sure they are next to mine.” “Dinner will be served in Legolas’ rooms in thirty minutes. You must be hungry.” Aragorn inclined his head in a temporary goodbye and guided Arwen back into the building. Legolas began pulling Thranduil with him, and signaled for Haldir to follow them. He wanted his family to himself – his mate and his father. That left Elrond and Celeborn standing alone in the courtyard. Elrond cleared his throat and when Celeborn headed for the doorway, he fell into step beside the elder Elf. Seeing Legolas’ happiness had awoken his desire to be with Lindir all over again. “He is weaker than he wants us to know,” whispered Celeborn knowingly. “He always tried to hide his weaknesses and it always backfired on him.” “I must admit I never saw him in such a sorry state before. His hair used to shine like gold and now it is dull.” “Something tells me he was a lot worse when Haldir came upon him,” said Celeborn, musing aloud. “I never realized he was fading – still grieving for Remmen. I should never have allowed for us to stop all contact. We were friends once, Elrond, the three of us. Now he feels like a stranger to me.” “I agree.” Elrond looked Celeborn in the eyes. “Then we must change that and befriend him again.” Celeborn nodded. “Yes, befriending him is wise and advisable. But will he allow us close again?” “There is only one way to find out. We must try.” Beta read by Sulien. All remaining mistakes are mine. Title: Behind Emerald Eyes Author: Morgana Author's Email: morganalebeau@yahoo.com Web page: http://www.avalon.cobweb.nl Main pairings; Haldir/ Legolas, Thranduil/ surprise, Celeborn/surprise. See for other already established pairings LOML. Rating: NC-17. Summary: Just when Thranduil has given up on finding love and resigned himself to fading, a new love enters his life. Disclaimer: Not mine, Tolkien’s. Hum, I guess Magolion is mine… And so is Remmen… Warning: mpreg, minor angst, child loss and the story is AU of course! Author’s Note: Beta read by Sulien. All remaining mistakes are mine. FB is always welcome, but flames get send to Sauron! Behind Emerald Eyes Part 6 Haldir had briefly excused himself to give father and son a chance to talk in private and returned to his rooms to bathe and change his clothes. It felt good to have a moment of quiet, though after time went by he began to miss his husband’s and Thranduil’s presence. In the meantime, Legolas showed Thranduil to his quarters. When his father sat down on the bed, he placed Remmen in Thranduil’s arms, watching them. Sitting down beside his father, he studied him closely. “I almost lost you, didn’t I? Haldir arrived just in time.” Thranduil immediately admitted the truth. “You are right, my son. I surrendered to my mourning. When Haldir found me I was more dead than alive.” After moistening his lips, he continued, “When I finally realized what had happened to me, I was grateful that Haldir had taken me away from Remmen’s tomb. Whilst we were on the road I began to feel alive again.” He smiled weakly at Legolas. “I want to live for you and for my grandson. I have so much left to live for that I feel guilty for almost succumbing to grief.” “Don’t feel guilty,” said Legolas, loosely embracing his father. “I am glad you are alive and well – and here at my side.” Thranduil slowly rocked Remmen in his arms. “When I first heard that you had named him Remmen I didn’t feel comfortable with that, but now I understand that this baby will keep his memory alive and I thank you for that.” “Why don’t you rest for a while?” suggested Legolas, accepting Remmen into his arms again. “Dinner will be served in my rooms later. Take a bathe, freshen up. You have been on the road this last week.” “Is that your way of telling me that I reek of horse?” asked Thranduil, laughing amusedly. “No, but you should wash the grime of the road off of you.” Legolas leaned in closer and placed a chaste kiss on his father’s brow. “Thank you for coming here. I know you feel uncomfortable with Elrond and Celeborn close, but please trust me when I say that they mean well. They were also nervous to meet you after such a long time.” After seeing his father nod, Legolas walked over to the doorway. “I will fetch you in time for dinner.” Thranduil let himself fall backward onto the bed after Legolas had closed the door behind him and his gaze swept across the room. He had been assigned luxurious rooms, but he still missed the freedom of living high up in his talan. However, these rooms were a lot better than the carved quarters deep within his caves. Now that he was here he just had to make the best of it. He would start with taking the bathe Legolas had suggested and then change into some clean clothes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “What ails you, Celeborn?” Galadriel, who was directing her ladies in packing her belongings for her journey to Valinor, immediately noticed her husband’s troubled expression. “Thranduil has arrived.” Celeborn’s eyes narrowed in thought. “We almost lost him to grief -- again -- and we never noticed.” “But he is alive today, isn’t he?” Galadriel momentarily deserted her task and guided Celeborn over to one of the couches, where they sat down. “Tell me why your heart feels burdened.” “We should have tried harder to restore contact after Remmen died. We took the easy way out when no reply came from Mirkwood.” “We did what we felt was right at the time,” replied Galadriel, watching him closely. “But there is more.” “I want to rebuild our old friendship. We were close when we still lived in Doriath.” Oropher had encouraged their friendship, and Celeborn had taken Thranduil under his wing for quite some time. “I miss being able to talk to him – walk with him. Why didn’t I realize that before?” Questioning eyes sought out Galadriel’s. “How do I gain his trust?” “Slowly,” said Galadriel, “slowly, and with much dedication.” She hoped Celeborn and Thranduil would succeed in rebuilding their old relationship, for she was afraid her husband would feel lonely once she had left for Valinor. “If you really want to mend your friendship you will succeed.” Celeborn smiled at her, raised her hand and pressed a kiss onto the back of it. “I will always love you, my Lady.” “And I will always love you, but I also set your heart free to love again.” She caressed a strand of his mithril hair. “We will part shortly and you will need friends – many good friends.” Her ladies would travel with her, and so would her grandsons. It was Celeborn she was worried about. Watching him closely, she wondered if there was more to this sudden desire to befriend Thranduil, but she didn’t ask that particular question. She had lost the right to do so when she had set him free. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Eat!” said Haldir cheerfully. “Aragorn employs some of the best cooks in his kingdom!” The meal was truly exquisite and delicious, and he would make sure Thranduil ate his fill. Thranduil started on the soup; knowing Haldir was keeping a close eye on him. “Legolas, I regret not being there for you during your pregnancy and delivery. I might have been able to support you.” Legolas shrugged his shoulders once and then nodded. “Having you at my side would have been nice. I didn’t know what to expect, but thankfully Elrond monitored me closely and there were no complications.” Thranduil’s smile was remarkably soft when he looked at his son. “And now you are a parent too.” Haldir smiled proudly. “I had a part in making him a parent,” he said teasingly. “A very big part.” Legolas gave his husband a doting smile. “Do you wish for more children?” Thranduil looked inquisitively at Haldir. “As many as Legolas is willing to give me.” Haldir had the grace to blush. Legolas placed his hand on top of his husband’s and gave it a tight squeeze. “I will most certainly enjoy making more Elflings.” Thranduil laughed warmly. “I can imagine!” Haldir’s blush deepened; Thranduil’s teasing made him feel awkward, but when he looked at the elder Elf, he saw a hint of loneliness and longing in the emerald eyes and he was reminded that Thranduil *was* alone. A tempting idea then entered his thoughts. Surely, there was someone in Gondor who was interested in courting a wicked, Elven King? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The day of Arwen and Aragorn’s wedding had finally arrived. Thranduil had only been in Minas Tirith for one day and now found formal robes on his bed upon his return to his rooms. Legolas had asked him to attend the ceremony and he had reluctantly given in. He would have preferred to stay clear of the crowd, but as Legolas was Aragorn’s closest friend, he had to make an appearance. “Legolas must have chosen these,” he whispered absentmindedly, running his fingertips over the silk fabric. The robes were made of the deepest green, embroiled with silver leaves and lined with the softest green he had ever seen. They were truly fit to be worn by a King. “You *are* attending the wedding, aren’t you?” Haldir had followed Thranduil to make sure the elder Elf found the garment and changed his clothing. “Legolas would be disappointed if you stayed in your rooms whilst the whole of Gondor is feasting!” “I will be there,” promised Thranduil. “I am not looking forward to attending the ceremony, but I won’t disappoint my son.” “Good.” Haldir arched an eyebrow and wriggled it suggestively. “These robes will look good on you. You will definitely draw some attention.” “But I don’t want to draw any,” said Thranduil in a pleading tone. “I would prefer to blend in with the background.” Haldir then made a bold move. After walking up to Thranduil, he placed a finger beneath the other Elf’s chin to raise it, and then looked into the emerald eyes. “You could never blend in with the background, Ada. You are unique and everyone who sees you has to acknowledge your presence. Who knows, maybe you will break some hearts, or cause them to beat faster with passion and desire. Maybe someone will fall in love with you.” Thranduil shivered momentarily. “Don’t say such things.” “That night in which the stars fell down onto Arda you said you wanted someone to love and to love you back. You will never find that person if you hide from life.” “Maybe I have changed my mind since then.” “I doubt that,” said Haldir thoughtfully. “I reckon you are afraid of what will happen should someone make his interest known in you.” Thranduil’s mouth had gone dry. Haldir was right, but he couldn’t admit that, could he? “Haldir, you are prejudiced in this matter. Do you really think anyone will look twice at my haggard face?” “Don’t do yourself such discredit, Ada. You are still Thranduil, and you know it.” Haldir smiled warmly – even teasingly. “You will turn a lot of heads and maybe there will be one among them you find fair and interesting in turn?” Thranduil then gave him the oddest look. “Are you having cold feet, Ada?” Thranduil swallowed hard, and then nodded. “Maybe.” He had learned a long time ago to be very careful what he wished for. “Then it is time to plunge into the deep,” decided Haldir. “Legolas and I will be ready to join the festivities within the hour. We will meet with you here before leaving for the ceremony.” That way they could make certain Thranduil would accompany them. Realizing he had lost the fight, Thranduil gave in. He would accompany them tonight and, just to please Legolas, he would be on his best behavior, but he would definitely try to draw as little attention as possible. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thranduil remained at Haldir’s side most of the time, occasionally holding Remmen, who was a sweet baby and stayed quiet during the wedding ceremony. Aragorn had called upon Legolas as his witness, which left Thranduil and Haldir watching Legolas bear witness to the wedding. During the ceremony, Thranduil caught Elrond’s gaze, which was directed at him with a knowing expression in his gray eyes – though what Elrond pretended to know remained hidden to Thranduil. He continued to hold Remmen close and rocked him occasionally. It seemed that the things which used to soothe Legolas when he had been a baby also worked on Remmen now. Sudden movement behind Mithrandir, who was now proclaiming Aragorn and Arwen bound for life, made Thranduil curious, and his breath caught in his throat, catching sight of strong features, wild, blond mane, and hazel eyes, which held a strong fire in them. The Man was dressed in the garb of the Rohirrim, so it was safe to assume he was one of the horse lords. Haldir had heard Thranduil’s breath catch, and he cast an amused glance at his father in law. Finding him staring, he followed Thranduil’s gaze. Ah, Éomer had caught Thranduil’s attention? He frowned then, wondering what would come of this. “Who is he?” whispered Thranduil into Haldir’s ear, careful not to disturb the happy couple, who were now exchanging wedding bands. “Éomer, King of the Mark. He succeeded Théoden when he died in battle.” Haldir suddenly felt reluctant to reveal more. He had hoped someone would draw Thranduil’s attention, but Éomer was a mortal Man. What if Thranduil fell in love with him and then realized he would shortly lose his beloved? This was an attraction he shouldn’t encourage. “A King of Men.” Much like Aragorn, then. Thranduil’s brow furrowed and he pulled Remmen close to his chest. Éomer hadn’t seen him yet, and he wanted to keep it that way, hiding himself behind Haldir’s back. “There is fire in this one.” Instinctively he knew it would burn him and in the process rekindle his own. But this was folly. He shouldn’t be thinking in this way. Fortunately for him, the wedding ceremony had come to an end and everyone cheered when Aragorn claimed his first official kiss from his wife. Legolas congratulated the couple, but didn’t linger. His instincts told him to return to his father’s side, and when he did, he immediately saw the feverish expression in the emerald eyes, which were fixed on someone at Aragorn’s side. /Éomer? Why is my father staring at Éomer?/ His thoughts returned to the first time Éomer and he had met. It hadn’t taken him long to aim an arrow at the proud horse lord. /Oh, I am a fool! Of course is Ada drawn to him! I felt some attraction as well./ But the attraction had been weak and his love for Haldir strong. /But Ada isn’t bound and he will feel it stronger./ Legolas understood perfectly; Éomer’s fire and passion was just what his father needed. /But Éomer is mortal. Nothing good can come out of this./ Exchanging a look with Haldir, he realized his husband had reached the same conclusion. As much as it pained them, they had to smother this attraction, for both of them knew Thranduil wouldn’t survive losing another lover. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There was another one who had seen the spark flare in Thranduil’s emerald eyes, and Celeborn felt troubled as well. /Elbereth, don’t let him fall in love with a mortal. He won’t survive losing him./ But was the Queen of the Valar listening? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Where do you think you are going?” Legolas leaned against the wall of the corridor, watching his father’s retreating back. “The feast is only beginning.” He had entrusted Re