Title: The Child and the Mirror
- Last and final (!) Sequel to All Abouut You/Burning to Shadow.
Oh...the series got a name now: 'Blood, Moon and Mithril.'
Author: Camilla
E-mail: verdandeurdarbrunn@hotmail.com
Pairing: Legolas/Haldir
Rating: NC-17
Summary: When the begining is the end and how to continue.
Disclaimers: Certainly not mine.
Archive: Lists; yes.
Feedback: Love it!
Notes: Set about one week after 'Burning to Shadow'.
Follow the bookverse in that the Fellowship stay in Lorien for a while, 
the rest is movieverse. 'My' elves sleep btw.
Warnings: Sap (oh, yes!), angst (as usual), slash (pretty obvious, 
isn't it? - with the pairing and all), Helm's Deep (say no more).

Dedication: To 'the Black Gate of Mordor' : Oygunn, Renate and Ida - 
the Black gate is closed; you cannot pass!

-As usual a big Thank You to Sue for beetaing this for me


I

Lothlorien:

And now he was there, where he'd always longed to be. Sleeping in a 
pile of smooth, strong limbs. His hair tangled in the other's. Sweet 
breath on his face; lips slightly parted. He knew those lips now, knew 
the taste and the feel of them. Still, he would never get enough.

Haldir reached over and captured his beloved's lips with his own. 
Covered them with his mouth. A small sigh and fluttering lashes and 
Legolas moved closer; snuggled up into his embrace. The pointed tip of 
his ear tickling Haldir's lip now. The temptation grew too strong. He 
parted his lips and let his tongue trace the delicate skin, the 
sensitive little piece of flesh, only to hear his lover moan and sigh 
deeply in reply.


Lips on his own skin; moving slowly across his chest to rest on his 
neck before moving further up; a sudden jolt, a sensation, as strong 
teeth caught his earlobe, a moist tongue playing with it, touching the 
sensitive skin beneath. Letting go. And then. a swift movement and 
Legolas lay on top of him. Still with his eyes closed, he searched for 
and found Haldir's mouth; kissed him deeply, tongues entwined. Legolas' 
hair covering them both, falling around them like a curtain. Creating a 
haven; a world just for the two of them. A warm, damp, cave - a kiss 
that seemed to last forever as they shut the rest of the world out. 
Time ceased to have meaning, others ceased to exist. Only Haldir and 
Legolas, two pairs of lips behind a golden veil that was real and true 
in that moment. Only the two of them, their love and their passion. The 
joyful meeting of their souls.

"I love you," Legolas whispered hotly.

"And I love you, my Legolas...my sun...my life..." Haldir's voice was 
thick with emotion, his fingers laced behind Legolas' neck and pulled 
him closer. Down to his waiting mouth. Another kiss; another moment of 
forever.

Legolas let Haldir's words and kisses wash over him; fill him inside; 
sooth his soul in a wave of warmth. He still had dreams... dreams where 
everything was as they had been for five hundred years. Longing and 
love unfulfilled. Dreams where Haldir's embrace was something beyond 
his reach. Something that could not be... then he felt the other move 
beside him, take his hand and pull him closer, and he knew, even in his 
sleep, that his world had forever changed. What used to be dreams was 
now real, and what used to be real was just dreams. He had Haldir's 
naked skin next to him under the soft blankets, the scent of him 
wrapped around him. A scent that marked him; made him his, made him 
Haldir's... He felt more than a  sense of belonging, it was an urge to 
give himself over completely - let the other possess his very being; 
fill the core of his soul. Make him whole.

"Haldir..." he whispered now, watching his lover's beautiful face under
half-closed lids. "My love, it is still night. Why are you awake?"

"I don't know," Haldir smiled. His eyes drifted away from the talan and
caught the Moon above. "She called to me," he said at last.

Legolas followed his gaze;

"Yes, " he said. "She is in love with you," he smiled.

Haldir smiled also;

"I guess she is... but, I cannot kiss her like I kiss you."

"Would you like to?" Legolas asked.

"Kiss her? - Or you?"

"Both of us..."

"I prefer to kiss you, my love." Haldir gave a low chuckle. "You are 
in my arms now, she is still untouchable."

"And if you had to choose?" Legolas teased.

"I would always choose you." Haldir's eyes met Legolas'. They were 
serious now, serious and dark as the night sky itself. His finger 
traced Legolas' cheek. "You are the one," he whispered. "Always..."

"I will bind myself to you." Legolas spoke before thinking, moved by
Haldir's words. Now a slight blush colored his cheeks and his bright 
eyes grew soft with insecurity. "I mean... if you want to!"

Haldir looked at his loved one, the fragile expression, the question in 
his eyes. How vulnerable he was, here, now, wrapped in his lover's 
embrace,simply because the lover was he, Haldir. Haldir knew who 
Legolas was. He knew his courage, knew his strength. There was nothing 
weak about Legolas. He was a prince, a warrior. To see how he, and only 
he, could affect the Prince so was heartbreaking. Still it made him 
proud. He didn't deserve it though, he thought. Yet, he did not 
doubt this was how it was meant to be. He *knew*.  He was Legolas' 
chosen one. The one he was meant to be with from the start. And now, 
with the internal battle finally over...

"I will." Haldir took Legolas' fingers, wrapped them in his palm and 
lifted them to his lips, kissed them slowly one by one. "I will gladly 
bind my soul to yours," he murmured between the kisses. "Now and 
forever... I am yours."

A wide smile spread on Legolas' face and he let out a shuddering 
breath.

"Thank you," he said softly. "Will you do it before I leave Lorien? 
...It would be a comfort to me to know we have this bond... that you 
will still be here, next to me, when I return."

"Don't you trust me?"

"I do! But it would still be..."

"...a memory to cherish on your way to Mordor?"

"Yes."

Haldir sighed;

"So you *are* going then... I thought you would, still I hoped..."

"I know."

The two Elves looked at each other with loving eyes. Haldir brushed 
Legolas' hair away from his forehead and smiled at him while his eyes 
grew sad.

" I know you cannot, *would not*,  break your word. That your quest is
heroic and brave. So very, very important to this world...still a part 
of me just want to keep you here. Want you to be mine, alone."

"There will be a time," Legolas soothed him. "When all of this is over. 
When we will be together like that. I will be yours, yours alone. After 
this quest is over I will never leave you like this again, I promise 
you that, Haldir."

"Thank you," Haldir smiled and clutched his fingers, deliberately 
ignoring the dark shadow from Mordor, the cold fear that arose by the 
mere thought of the Dark Lord. The threat that found them, him, his 
Legolas, even here in his talan this fair, moonlit Lorien night.

"Will you do it, then?" Legolas asked him. "Will you bind yourself to 
me before I leave?"

"Of course I will," Haldir kissed his hand. "Whenever you choose, I 
will do it."

"...The Fellowship must not know."

A brush of surprise crossed  Haldir's features before they lit up in
understanding.

"Ah! Estel...yes, what to do about him...?"

Legolas laughed softly.

"I told him just a few days ago we had no such bond between us."

Haldir joined in with a low chuckle.

"Then I see how such an announcement could make the rest of your 
journey a little strained...and none of you need that...But could you 
not explain?"

"Six centuries of yearning are not that easily explained..."

"I know, and I am sorry Legolas. I wish you were free to share your
happiness with your friends."

"No secrecy would be needed if you could keep from proving your points 
with your body," Legolas half-teased him.

"Well, it wont happen again, now." Haldir stroke Legolas' hair with his
palm.

"Haldir," Legolas lifted his head and looked his lover in the eye. "I 
do not expect you to change your ways for me."

Haldir's eyes widened in surprise.

"Legolas..." he begun.

"No," Legolas interrupted. " I have known you for so long...And yes, 
there was a time when I would rather not have you than share you with 
another, but now... now that I have had you, I cannot live without you.  
I will not ask you to change. I'm not even sure you could. It is *you*, 
a part of you..."

Haldir lay still for a while. When he spoke his voice was low and 
sincere:

" I thank you for your kind offer, Legolas. It proves your love more 
than a thousand words, but you need not fear. If I bind myself to you, 
I will be true to you."

"But..."

"Don't think me a child, Legolas. I know very well what I'm asking of
myself, what you refuse to ask of me...and I know myself...I will be 
true to you, Legolas, ask it of me or not, I will still be true."

"Can you do it?" Legolas whispered.

"Yes, my beloved, I can do it. It won't be a hard thing to give up."

Unable to find the words, Legolas just smiled. A happy, trusting smile 
that made it impossible for Haldir not to smile back.

"Then how will you prove your points?" Legolas asked at last. His eyes
suddenly a mixture of curiosity and playfulness.

" I don't know, " Haldir smiled and stretched his body under Legolas. " 
I can still prove them in my usual way with you though. You will never 
win an argument with me."

"No?"

"No!"

In one graceful movement Haldir reversed their positions and landed on 
top of Legolas. He lowered his lids and ground his hips towards 
Legolas, made him feel his growing arousal while speaking in a low, 
seductive voice;

"Or would you rather *talk* it over?" he asked and arched his eyebrows.

"No..." Legolas giggled and held his shoulders, felt the soft hair flow
across the back of his hands. "And what point are you trying to make 
now?" he whispered.

"That you are mine!" Haldir whispered hot in his ear. Moving, crushing
Legolas'lips with his own, leaving Legolas breathless and shivering, 
caught beneath his lover's strong, slender body.

***

"Haldir!" Legolas cried out half an hour later while rocking on top of 
his lover's hips. "Haldir... gods!"

Haldir, slicked in sweat and repeatedly wetting his lips with the tip 
of his tongue, looked up at his golden god, felt the tightness 
embracing him, the light weight of his lover's body on top of him and 
laughed joyfully. His hands grabbed at his former friend's, now 
lover's, slick arousal, held it tightly in his palms moving them with 
the flow. The ethereal glow that still came and went sometimes when 
they made love flared over his skin and was caught by Legolas', it made 
him almost look as though he glowed from within. Glimmering like 
mithril in the dark, warm night.

Legolas fingers clutched at the blankets beneath them, his head thrown 
back in passion. His long, golden hair brushed Haldir's thighs softly, 
made the other elf twitch beneath him and lift his hips slightly from 
the ground. The Prince moaned loudly and bit his lip, Haldir's body 
tensed as well in anticipation of what he knew was coming.

When Legolas came, Haldir cried out with him, feeling the warm, wet 
evidence of their passion hit the skin on his stomach and chest.

Legolas fell forward but Haldir's arms caught him and with a strangled 
cry he lifted his hips from the ground and grabbed Legolas' hips with 
his hands.He slammed into the other elf several times more before his 
body twitched one final time and he followed his beloved over edge.

"Gods, you are beautiful!" he murmured, hardly conscious that he spoke 
while wrapping Legolas in his arms. Licking the sweat off his neck. 
Breathing heavily in to his damp hair while waiting for their bodies to 
calm.

Legolas laughed. A thrilling, sated, happy laugh that spoke directly to
Haldir's heart. Legolas arms held him tightly. Hard. As if he never 
would let him go. Haldir lowered his face and pressed the tip of their 
noses together while smiling back at his lover. He was sated as well.  
Sated and happy. Filled to the brim with love for this wonderful 
creature in his arms.

"I love you," he said.

"And I love you," Legolas answered and pressed his lips, still swollen 
and moist, to Haldir's.

"One day I'll tell you..." Haldir breathed when they broke off the 
kiss.

"Tell me what?" Legolas answered, still smiling happily after their
lovemaking.

"Why I denied us this pleasure for so long..."

"Don't... you don't have to..." Legolas' fingers busied themselves 
brushing moist strands of hair from Haldir's forehead.

"One day I will," Haldir smiled, "unless you don't want me to...?"

"Of course I would, I would like to know..."

"And I will tell you, my prince, but not tonight."

"No," Legolas agreed. "Not tonight."

When the Moon faded on the sky and the first rays of the Sun found the 
talan between the branches, they were fast asleep, entwined and 
entangled in each other's bodies. Undisturbed by the day and its light 
as only lovers can be, while they relived the night in their dreams.



II


"I will bind myself to Legolas of Mirkwood."

The two tall figures in front of him spoke at the same time:

"Very well." - "Are you sure that it is wise?"

Haldir cast his eyes to the floor. Unsure which one of them to look
at first.

"Haldir," Lady Galadriel called and Haldir lifted his head, letting his 
eyes rest on the shimmering beauty of her face. "I will not deny you 
this, you know that."

Lord Celeborn spoke;

"It is as it should be. You should have been bound centuries ago."

"Do you think so, my lord?" Haldir answered, something harsh in his 
voice.

"You know that, Haldir," the Lord answered. "All of us knew..." He
gave the Lady a stare from the corner of his eye and crossed the floor 
of the big talan, robes flowing behind, his back turned to the other 
two.

The Lady followed her husband, touched his shoulder lightly;

"We should not argue over things that took place millennia ago..."

"No," the Lord interrupted. "But we should learn from them..."

The Lady let her fingers fall from his shoulder. Instead of answering 
him she turned and faced Haldir;

"Do you remember the last time we spoke of this, Haldir?"

"Well I remember it, my lady. It was after the first time I brought 
Legolas with me to Lorien."

"Yes..." The lady's eyes grew distant. "And we all recognized him, 
didn't we? We all knew who he was...we had *seen*..." Her eyes cleared 
and seemed to deepen in color when she focused her gaze on Haldir 
again. "Do you remember the advice I gave you then?" she asked him.

"Yes...my lady, I do...You withdrew your former advice to me and told 
me to embrace my destiny." Haldir answered.

The lady continued;

"I shared with you then what I had learned over the centuries: I told 
you to follow your heart... you did not heed my new advice to you..."

"How could he?" Lord Celeborn interrupted. "It took a long time, even 
for you, wife - to realize that against the will of the Valar even 
Galadriel of the Golden Wood is powerless."

Galadriel swiftly turned to her husband and spoke in a cool voice:

"Do you think me proud beyond regret, my lord? I was young! The mirror 
was something new. I did not know its power yet, or my own..."

Celeborn bowed his head slightly, acknowledged the apology implied in 
her words. Haldir mirrored the movement.

Galadriel focused on Haldir again;

" Still I fear for you, child," she said. She crossed the floor with 
light steps and cupped Haldir's face in her slender, white fingers. " I 
wish there was something I could do..."

Haldir smiled at his lady;

" I have finally come to realize I have no choice in this matter...My 
love for him is...stronger, than any fear I still may carry. I have 
tried not to love him and as you both know, I failed. I have tried to 
avoid him but have always been drawn back. I tried to stay within the 
borders of this land and as you see he will come to me... and, it is no 
longer about me... it's about him. This is his fate as well, I cannot 
deny him his destiny. I have no right..." Haldir paused. "The ring 
could have destroyed him because I kept this love away from him... I 
cannot risk anything happening to Legolas because of me again... no 
price is too big, no burden too heavy..."

"Have you told Legolas of this?" Galadriel asked.

"No," the March Warden answered. "But I will as soon as we're bound. I 
will not scare him away from this..."

"Do you think he would refuse...?" Lord Celeborn spoke.

"Yes," Haldir answered with a nod of his head. " He loves me as I love 
him. If he thought it would endanger..."

"I see," the lord interrupted softly. "You will see this come to an end
then, as we all..." he trailed off.

"You have been very brave, Haldir," the Lady said in a low voice. "I 
wish your joy will last for a long time... for he does bring you great 
joy, doesn't he?"

"More than anything, my lady:" Haldir smiled. " More than joy;
love...completion..."

"Very well, then" Celeborn said again. "When will this happen?"

"Soon... tonight?" Haldir asked the couple in front of him.

"Tonight." Galadriel nodded.

"Tonight..." Haldir whispered in reply.

********

"Tonight..."

Legolas caught the whisper as the golden flower floated down to him
from the branches above his head.

He tilted his head upwards and smiled when his eyes found his lover's 
grey-clad body among the leaves:

"Tonight?" he asked curiously.

"If you will have me?"

"I will always...oh! You mean...tonight?" A new sparkle appeared in 
the Prince's eyes.

"Yes," Haldir smiled down at him. "That is if you are true to your 
words," he teased.

"Of course I am," Legolas laughed. "Tonight, then?"

"Yes, my love... tonight!" And then he was gone among the branches. 
Just a rustle in the leaves, and the flower in Legolas' hand.

*********

Blushing like a maid the Elven Prince approached his lover.

Transparent veils floated in the light breeze, enclosing the party in 
the Lord and Lady's talan in a cocoon of soft light. A sense of purity 
over it all. The tall Elves were all clad in the white, silver and grey 
of Lorien. The harp sang from somewhere behind him; known songs of 
something beautiful and divine... as Haldir.

Legolas bowed his head and smiled slightly as his eyes fell upon his 
lover; all dressed in white. Silvery embroideries shaped as mallorn 
leaves on his silken robes. Challenging his shiny hair for the 
attention of the light. His eyes glimmering; dark pools of velvet 
night. The smooth, marble skin glowing in the soft light.

Legolas swallowed. And smiled again. So happy in this moment that all 
his years of loneliness seemed to fade. Only this was real. Only this 
was bliss. Only this was right. The only thing that mattered...

"Will you not take his hand?" Lady Galadriel's voice broke the spell. 
Her face soft and beautiful in the starlit night

Legolas reached out and took Haldir's hand in his. His own arm draped 
in the heavy, green velvet of Mirkwood, showing his heritage. Golden 
embroideries marking him as royal blood.

Haldir smiled at him, reassuring. He tightened his grip on the other's 
hand. Legolas smiled back, wondering who had helped Haldir with his 
neat braids this night. The night that he was to wed, was to bind his 
soul to that of a foreign prince.

Some of the elves gathered around them carried lanterns. Others carried
platters filled with fruits. Others again; musical instruments.
The Lord took the Lady's hand and started climbing down the long, 
winding stairs. Legolas and Haldir followed and behind them the group 
of fifty elves. All of them singing now, a low hymn in praise of the 
Valar and the gift that was true love; the bond between two souls.
The guards didn't heed their Lord and Lady this night but lowered their 
heads in reverence when Haldir and Legolas passed by. Respectful eyes; 
this was close to divine.

Legolas wondered if the Fellowship heard the song in their camp and if 
it moved them in any way. Wishing that his friends could have been here 
on this night, he sent them a thought. Tried to share the moment with 
them, although he knew that none of them would know what to make of it, 
even if they heard him.

The procession continued through of the city gates and out among the 
trees. On both sides other Lorien Elves gathered to greet them. Some of 
them joined in the procession and the song.

Legolas felt Haldir's pulse in his palm. Wondered if he was as excited, 
as happy, as he was, in this moment. His profile looked stern enough in 
the dim lit night but Legolas caught a little smile playing on his 
lips, making his own explode in a wide grin. His thumb stroke Haldir's 
hand and Haldir's smile widened as well. He let out his breath with a 
sigh. Felt how close he was to the other elf. Mind, heart and body. 
Tears of joy threatened to break his peace but stayed in place by an 
act of will. No tears would be shed on this night. The most beautiful 
and happiest of them all, in Legolas' long, elven life.

Finally they reached a clearing and the Elves spread out in a circle 
leaving Haldir and Legolas in the middle. The song ceased and a 
respectful silence fell. Legolas never doubted that it would happen -
and as expected the wood accepted them.  How could she not? They both 
knew this was right. They all knew...

A warmth reached from the earth and embraced them. Increased the 
shimmering glow on their skin. The clouds that had veiled her drifted, 
allowing the Moon to spill her light down in the clearing. The tall 
mallorn trees searched for them with their souls and shared in their 
joy. The scent of the sacred water drifted in the air, Nimrodel 
greeting them; accepting their union; that they now were as one. The 
now familiar ethereal glow burst to life on their skin at the same time 
as they now stood, facing each other in front of their kin. The light 
flowed across their skin, melted with the other's. Covered them in 
a strong yet soft light. The humming sound that rose from their bodies 
the first night they made love sang in the cores of their bodies. Never 
had they been so close, and yet they didn't touch. Legolas felt as if 
his body melted in to the light, vibrated with the sound. He knew he 
stood on the ground, yet it was as if he was floating in the air, 
carried softly on mallorn branches.

- And all the time he was there; his jeewel like eyes burning through 
the white light, keeping his gaze steady in his;

"My golden prince," his voice said. "My sun and my light..."

"My lord of moon and mithril," his own voice answered. His hands 
reached out and grasped Haldir's. Together they fell into each other's 
eyes. Limitlessly floating in and out of each other's minds.

Legolas saw Haldir's mother's face: Soft elven features surrounded by 
soft, silvery hair like her son's. He felt his heart beat with love for 
her, although she had departed for the Havens years ago and Legolas had 
never met her. He saw Rumil and Orophin grow up from elven children to 
the fair, grown males he had first met in Mirkwood. Then his heart beat 
with pride. He felt a young Haldir struggle with sorrow when he had to 
kill a wounded stag. The naked fear in the animal's eye, the hardening 
of his heart as the blade cut into its throat. He felt the slender hand 
of Lady Arwen of Imladris in his and grieved because he could not love 
her.

Haldir saw tiny feet run barefoot over the mossy ground of a Mirkwood
forest. Small elven braids the color of spun gold danced in and out of 
his sight as he moved over the forest floor. The trees seemed so tall, 
the small rivers of the wood like endless oceans, impossible to cross.
He felt Legolas' heart bleed for a young maid who had fallen ill after 
her beloved had died from a blow. He felt the power of healing; the 
knowledge, secret keys to communication flow through his body, make him 
reach out and take the maid in his arms. The need to soothe, make the 
pain go away. The power to do so. It was all there in each part of his 
body; crystal clear intuition. His fingers on the bow string, focus on 
the target. The arrow flew through the air. "Well done, son." An arm on 
his shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

Legolas was there the first time Haldir saw the sea. The blue waves 
that crashed upon the shore. He felt the tide rise and fall with his 
very being. Knew he had a home there; the sea owned a part of his soul.
He saw Haldir's bow before his eyes; aiming at a troll. His pulse raced 
and the fear made his grip on the weapon slippery. Heavy heartbeats 
accompanied his shallow breath. The troll fell. His white arrow had 
left the string. He saw Aragorn hunt in Mirkwood forest. The Ranger's 
cloak in front of him. His eyes measuring him; figuring him out: The 
challenge. Legolas saw the stars on the Lorien sky as they twinkled 
down at him. He was in Haldir's talan. Thinking with longing about the 
pretty Prince of Mirkwood. The one who had so completely caught his 
attention and his heart. A red burst of fear; another memory flamed to 
life. Cold angst caught his heart in a grip of ice. The memory of 
sapphire eyes and golden hair. A pure soul reaching out for 
him. Bitter tears shed in solitude. He saw his own back ride in front 
of him. Admired the way his braided hair fell over the brown tunic. 
Felt a desire to touch it. Smell it; kiss the smooth skin underneath.
Passion, wild and unbidden; hold him down and have him. Despair 
battling the cold fear. Other bodies. He called and they came. Moments 
of pleasure. Moments of regret. Legolas was gone. He had escaped his 
talan at night. Legolas was gone and there was nothing.

Haldir saw Legolas fight his first battle. Felt his heart bleed for all 
of them; friends and foes alike. He saw him contemplate in front of his
bloodied sword. What right had he to cut off the stream? To end a life?
He admired the beauty of a white flower; it's delicacy, it's purity.
He saw himself enter the banquet hall in Thranduil's palace. Cold and
arrogant. Feline grace clad in velvet. Haldir bowed for Thranduil. 
Thranduil bowed back; "Haldir of the Galadhrim." He greeted him. "...my 
son, Legolas." Awe for the icy beauty in front of him; puzzlement over 
the depth of his eyes. The dark veil that shrouded his soul. 
Involuntary attraction. Fascination. Later; watching him while he was 
asleep. Carefully touching his hair. Forbidden passion. Seeping lust. 
"I love you my dearest friend." No voice, just a thought. The pain and 
sadness one night he knew Haldir was with a lover. How he had walked 
slowly back to the talan instead of seeking company with one of the 
other Elves. Sitting cross-legged on the floor. Resting his face in his 
hands. Trying to calm the feelings of defeat and despair. Mould the 
sadness in to anger over his own unruly heart. His fingers through 
Haldir's hair. The silken softness. The smell of it; forest and herbs.
A vow to never love again. A heart that was hurt, pride that was 
broken. His dedication to the Fellowship of the Ring, an urge to do 
good, even if he had lost his healing powers. Do what he could, while 
he could. Elven participation one last time. A task he gladly took upon 
his shoulders because he didn't have much else, anymore. Nothing much 
to lose. When *he* is lost. The last thought; one he never admitted to 
himself. One that only came through in his dreams. He saw the mines of 
Moria. The Wizard and the Balrog. He saw the Hobbits' panicked faces. 
The tears in the Men's eyes. Sympathy and sorrow. Fear for 
the quest.

The kiss.

The kiss... when they kissed each other for the first time in Haldir's 
talan. Haldir saw his own dark eyes; felt the pulsing need in Legolas' 
body. The love that flared in his heart. The longing and the pain. The 
need to have him, keep him close. Legolas saw his own blue eyes meet 
his. Felt the powerful love and desperate longing in Haldir's heart. 
The need to be with him. Possess him...

The light faded on their skin. Slowly the world fell back in place but 
their eyes remained locked in each other's. Their hands still held the 
other's.

Silence in the wood.

Breaths that slowly calmed.

"Your souls are united. You are bound to each other." The Lady 
Galadriel's low voice broke the silence. "As if you ever were anything 
else." she added with a streak of humor.

The elves gathered in the clearing slowly started to move around. They 
hung the lanterns from branches and spread the food on the ground. The 
harps sang again. Low voices sang and praised the union they had 
witnessed.

Haldir and Legolas stood still. Still holding each other. Still 
drowning in the other's eyes. Soon Haldir would break the stare to 
embrace the Prince. Soon their lips would connect and fingers move to 
touch and caress. Later their eyes would meet others to receive their 
greetings and join in the feast. But for now they just stood there. 
Perfectly still - while the world moved on around them.




III


They drifted through the woods of Lothlorien. Their arms locked around 
each other's waists. Both of them lightheaded from the mirouvar and the 
sweet wine they had shared with the Elves in the clearing.

"Mine!" Haldir murmured teasingly and moved his palm across Legolas'
buttocks.

"Mine!" Legolas quickly replied and loosened his grip around Haldir's 
waist to throw himself around his neck.

"Always!" Haldir whispered and kissed the Prince once more. The kiss
deepened and grew into something else. Grinding hips and burning desire 
as their hands begun to travel those now so well known paths of each 
other's bodies.

"Come!" Legolas breathed and dragged the other down to his knees.

The elven prince lay back on the ground, his blond hair spread on the 
golden leaves on the forest floor. His arms reached for Haldir:

"Have me," he begged the other. "I want you!"

Haldir marveled at the beauty of the other's sweet surrender. Tempted 
almost to the brink, he had to stay in control. To not loose sight of 
the task he still had ahead of him. The thing he knew he had to do 
before this night was over.

"Not now my sweet Legolas," he said with regret. " There's something I 
have to show you." He smiled down at the disappointed face on the 
ground. "Later," he promised. " Afterwards I'll do whatever you want. 
Your wishes will be my law for the rest of the night..."

"Haven't you shown me enough for tonight," Legolas complained, 
laughing, referring to their mind blending in the ritual. His eyes 
still slightly blurred from the wine.

"There was something you didn't see..." Haldir simply said.

"Your fear...!" Legolas sat up. "Why were you so afraid of me, 
Haldir?"

Haldir smiled again. This time the smile was a sad one. His eyes 
serious and dark:

"That's what I'm going to tell you once we get there," he said, 
raising, reaching out a hand to drag Legolas to his feet.

Legolas was serious now. Serious and calm. A part of him feared this
revelation. This truth that had escaped him for so many years.  That 
which had stood between them like a spear.  Kept his beloved away.  
Another part of him wished to know. Not so much to still his own 
curiosity but mostly because it, this truth, meant so much to Haldir... 
enough to keep them apart for centuries. What was important to Haldir 
was important to him as well. And it had affected his life.  How much 
he didn't want to dwell upon. Still, when he felt Haldir's arms around 
his body again once he stood on his feet, he couldn't resist the urge;

"Don't forget your promise," he murmured in a low voice and pressed
himself closer to the other Elf.

"Never!" Haldir whispered hot in his ear and sent shivering sparkles 
down Legolas' spine.

Legolas gave him a feline smile in return and moved away. Just took his 
hand as they moved further in amongst the tree trunks.

When they had walked a little Haldir looked at Legolas and said in a 
voice filled with sorrow;

" There is something else as well that I have to tell you...I have lied 
to you in the past, Legolas. Because of this I haven't told you yet, . 
I have hurt you..."

Legolas looked back at his lover, both of them still striding through 
the woods;

"You have kept others away from me, I know."

"How?" Haldir's voice was barely a whisper.

"When I learned of your feelings for me it was not hard to see."

"You have all rights to be angry with me..." Haldir's head was bowed 
low,his eyes on the ground. "I was hoping that what we did tonight, our 
mind reading, would show you so I wouldn't have to tell... how 
foolish..."

"I'm not angry." Legolas interrupted, tried to keep his voice calm. 
"You saved us all a lot of heartache... it wouldn't have ended well. My 
heart wanted you... nobody else. Although... it did hurt when they got 
what... I didn't..." Legolas trailed off. Old hurt visible on his fair 
features.

Haldir noticed and the pain stung his heart. He bowed his head again, 
in shame this time;

"Got what, Legolas? My body?" The bitterness was quickly gone. 
Something tender took its place when he spoke again; "My heart was only 
for you. Has always been..."

"I know," Legolas said softly and squeezed his hand. "You have proven 
that tonight, " he added and smiled at the other.

Haldir smiled back, pain and relief showing on his face.

"And you love me, fair one... so I have seen tonight."

"I do," Legolas confirmed and squeezed his hand again before stopping 
to pull him into a kiss.

Haldir gave himself over to the kiss; the sensation and the taste that 
was Legolas. Suddenly he didn't want to continue. Didn't want to 
explain. Just wanted to stay here in the forest with his lover. Lay all 
night on the soft ground with Legolas' slender limbs wrapped around his 
own.

"Shall we continue?" Legolas brought him back to reality and Haldir 
nodded. He *had* to...Legolas had a right to know...

************

Legolas was surprised when he realized they had stopped in the clearing 
by Galadriel's Mirror, but Haldir's strained face kept him from asking
questions. Instead he just followed silently as Haldir lead the way 
over to the now dry and empty mirror.

Haldir took Legolas' hand in his again when they reached the sacred 
well.

"This is where I saw you for the first time," he said.

Legolas looked at him with surprise.

"This is where I saw you..and you weren't even born," he continued. "A 
pair of sapphire eyes that stared at me from the silvery surface...and 
gods how I loved you..." He breathed, tenderness broke through his 
voice.

"When?" Legolas whispered, not sure what to make of this yet.

"When I was but a child..." Haldir's voice was emotionless. "I was a 
child, and those feelings...the feelings of a full grown Elf with 
several centuries to look back on..."

"How came you to look into the water when you were a child..? It is no 
toy, no game for children."

"No, it's not." A little smile played on Haldir's lips. His voice held
something sad. Something filled with sorrow and regret. "She invited 
me," he said at last. "Galadriel invited me to look in to it."

"No?!" Disbelief flared in Legolas' eyes.

"It is true," a twinkle in Haldir's eyes. "This was right after 
Galadriel and Celeborn came to Lorien as Lord and Lady of the Wood... 
she was still young... young and inexperienced with powers such as the 
Mirror."

"And you?" Legolas asked.

"I am a child of Lothlorien. My parents both dwelled here when the Lady
arrived..."

"But...how young were you?"

"Young enough that my ears looked a little too big for my head, my eyes 
too... and my body a little too small for my head..." Haldir smiled. 
"Young enough that my hair didn't fall straight but was a soft, unruly 
mess at the top of my head every morning. Young enough that..." Haldir 
drew a deep breath. "Young enough that I thought your love was poison."

"Poison?" Legolas' eyes widened in surprise.

"I looked at you in the mirror," Haldir said, "and the feeling of
helplessness, of devotion... of being bound and drawn to you. To desire
you... I thought it had to be some kind of dark spell." Haldir smiled 
again. "I have seen darkness in your future, that's what she said to me 
when she urged me to look... and all I could see in there was you... 
and something else."

"What?" Legolas asked and held his breath. Surely it wasn't dark images 
from Haldir's childhood, a frightened child's fantasies in meeting 
something he was too young to understand that had kept them apart for 
so long?

"Darkness," Haldir spoke. "Dark shadows and blood. Too much and too 
many of them. I see you... I see my blade and then I die."

"What?!" Legolas grabbed his arm. " You cannot die! What is this?"

"I die." Haldir's voice held no emotion. " I search for your beautiful
eyes and  someone calls to me to take  my warriors inside, I turn
and the blow strikes... it is darkness... I die."

Legolas voice shook with emotion and his nostrils flared white even in 
the dim light of the night.

"Because of me?" he asked at last.

"That's what I thought, before I met you." Haldir smiled his sad smile
again. "I pictured you some wicked seducer... someone who made me 
fragile, made me reckless and at your mercy... the reason why I was 
there, why I died..."

Legolas just stared at him with wide eyes. Confusion and bewilderment
obvious in his expression. Haldir swallowed hard and continued:

"I decided I would become one myself, so I could fight you off when 
you came... she said... she told me... not everything in the mirror 
would come to pass... that I could prepare myself... protect myself. So 
I... you know my skills... I hardened my soul and waited for you. Weak 
for your beauty, known by my love for you even before I met you..." 
Haldir raised his hand and let it run through Legolas' hair. Legolas 
stood completely still, let him do it but without responding. He felt 
numb. Haldir let his hand fall again. Sad eyes looking into Legolas'. 
He drew his breath and continued his tale once more: "That you had such 
a gentle spirit, that you were so young and so pure at heart... it 
surprised not only me but also the Lord and Lady. Both of them had seen 
the same as I and... they also thought you to be something... else."

Legolas just shook his head. He crossed his arms over his chest, 
suddenly the wood felt cold... and Haldir, a complete stranger.

"Legolas!" Haldir tried to reach him. "I tried not to love you, I 
really did... I avoided you, almost hated you... but you... you... your 
face was always there in front of me. Haunting me! Your beauty and your 
soul..."

"I am sorry you felt that way..." Legolas said at last. His body 
trembling, his voice reflecting the numbness inside. "And I don't want 
you to die..." he whispered.

Haldir's eyes dropped to the ground;

"I may not... I mean, I feared my love for you because it frightened 
a child. Feeling the same thing now is wondrous. Maybe I... maybe I 
didn't really die! Maybe it was something else that I sensed and... not 
all that you see in the mirror will come to pass..." He looked at 
Legolas with a hopeful expression. As if he was seeking some sort of 
confirmation, a reassurance from him.

"What do you believe yourself?" Legolas finally asked. Too many 
thoughts tumbling in his mind, too many emotions...

Haldir let out his breath, not really aware that he had held it;

"I believe that some things are meant to pass... my love for you was
unavoidable, I did everything in my power to stay away from you... I 
even brought you here and lived with you, hoped that it would be 
enough... to keep you as a friend, my companion. I thought... I could 
both have you and not have you... I was wrong..." Haldir lowered his 
gaze. "If I am to die... maybe I cannot avoid that either..." He 
drifted towards the mirror, turning his back to Legolas; "I remember 
her standing here," he said, letting his finger trail the circular 
shape of the mirror; "She cupped my face and she said; "It would be a 
shame if you should go to waste. I can see it in your eyes; what a 
beauty you'll become... with a gift to sway the hearts of elves and 
men. I will not see you fall, Haldir. I will do all in my power to 
keepthis cruel fate away from you..." Haldir turned and met Legolas' 
stony expression. "Will you not talk to me, my love?"

Legolas just shook his head slowly, his arms still crossed in front of 
him. His eyes burning bright, in his heart; a feeling close to 
betrayal.

"I don't understand," he said. "If this was a battle ground... we have 
fought together so many times, Haldir. Why were you never afraid?"

"Because," Haldir's eyes drifted in the opposite direction, away from
Legolas, "in my vision, we were bound."

The words hit Legolas like a fist. Unable to stand up he sank to the 
ground. His eyes stared at Haldir with disbelief.

"Why didn't you say something?" he whispered.

"Because I want you!" Haldir answered, still with his head turned away 
from the other.

"But if..."

"...what is meant to be will be, Legolas. I just hope our time together 
will be a long one... although I fear, for the battle took place here 
in Middle-Earth, and..."

"...we are leaving..." Legolas finished his sentence.

"Still, it will be worth it, " finally Haldir met his gaze. "to have 
had you, to have bound my soul to yours..."

"How could Lady Galadriel allow this?" Legolas interrupted in a 
whisper, still unable to find the full force of his voice.

"Galadriel also learned not to challenge fate years ago." Haldir paused
before continuing; "and she was... as caught off her guard as I was by 
your quality. Your nature that was... nothing we expected. That fact, 
it... changed everything... we were not battling a dark Elven Wizard or 
a cold, heartless seducer but a lovely prince who had all right to live 
out his own destiny... with me..."

"But why did you think me evil?"

"...Because of the fear I felt by this love. We should have known it 
was a child's reaction."

Haldir sighed and looked up at the stars. He was relieved that it was 
told, now he only feared his prince's reaction.

"Obviously," he said with something that could have been a smile; 
"Galadriel does no longer meddle in the fates and destinies of her 
people..."

"Haldir!" Legolas' voice was trembling and Haldir closed the distance 
between them and sat down by his lover; collected him in his embrace. 
Wrapped his arms around him and held him close to his heart. Let him 
feel the beat of it; life coursing through his body.

"What are we going to do?" Legolas whispered.

"Nothing," Haldir whispered back. "And maybe it wont happen at all... 
we don't know that for sure..."

"But..." Legolas protested.

"Hush, my love. Let's go back to the talan now, I have a promise to
fulfill." Haldir smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

While they slowly made their way back through the woods Legolas asked;

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Would you have believed me, or thought it a petty excuse?" Haldir's 
sad smile was back in place. "I couldn't say that I loved you but 
feared for my life if I bound myself to you... you wouldn't have 
accepted that, Legolas... I know you that well..."

Legolas didn't answer. He knew Haldir was right. He wouldn't have 
believed him.

***********

He thought he would spend the rest of the night just holding him. Feel 
his  pulse, his breath and his heartbeat. Instead they made love. Slow 
caresses that grew into a frenzy. A desire to touch every inch of skin 
at the same time. Feel it and taste it... love it.

"Gods, Haldir - you cannot leave me!" Legolas hands on Haldir's back;
circling the smooth skin with strong fingers, felt the muscles flex 
when the other covered Legolas' neck and chest in passionate kisses. "I 
won't let you... I cannot live..."

Haldir's head came up to kiss him;

"Hush!" he murmured. "I am here, now." His arms circled Legolas' waist 
and the kiss deepened. He rolled over with Legolas in his arms.Despite 
his soothing words haunting shadows played in his eyes, a coldness spun 
from fear seeped through in his voice. His demon was close tonight, it 
had been disturbed, risen from its sleep - and it had been given a 
twin. Legolas' eyes mirrored Haldir's, filled with unease and fear. 
Cold fingers of horror. Dark fear had replaced the joy, but the love 
still burned bright. A clear eye in the storm.

Legolas fingers tangled in Haldir's hair and he pressed his warm, moist 
body closer to the other, slid his aching desire across the other's 
skin. Haldir moved under him, pushing his own arousal up against the 
other's slick body,licking a trail down his neck;

"Have me!" Haldir pleaded. "Please have me tonight, Legolas, I need to 
feel you..."

"Of course, my love," Legolas smiled down at him.

Possessing the marble body with his own, Legolas held Haldir tight in 
his embrace. Caught every moan, every shuddering breath of pleasure 
that escaped his lips, his own dark eyes clouded with desire. Something 
so alive could not die, Legolas thought before losing himself in 
the passion. Losing himself in the bliss and the blessing that was 
Haldir.

************

They rested in each other's arms. Soft, grey blankets covering them. 
Legolas' leg was thrown casually across Haldir's hip. Haldir's arms 
over his head. Legolas' head on Haldir's chest, feeling the fall and 
rise of his breath.

"I love you," he murmured.

"I love you." Haldir answered in the same murmuring voice.

Legolas raised his head and caught Haldir's gaze;

"How can I possibly be worth it?" he asked the other elf. His eyes 
were serious.

Haldir chuckled, his hands came down to play in Legolas' hair.

"Do you really have to ask that, fair prince...?" he teased with a 
loving smile.

Legolas closed his eyes for a moment;

"How can anyone be worth it?" he asked at last.

"Ask Arwen of Imladris," Haldir replied. "She, who will give her life 
for the Ranger, our Estel... a mortal man..."

Legolas thought it over for a while; what if he had been the one with 
this doom hanging over him, would he rather not have known this love he 
shared with Haldir? Would he rather spend all his days without it than 
have it and then die?

" Your fate may be crueler than mine yet, Legolas. I fear for you more 
than I fear for myself..." Haldir interrupted his thoughts. "You are 
going to the dark land, you may have to face a evil much worse than the 
one you find on the battle field... You have sworn to protect the last 
hope of Middle-Earth, and so bound yourself to it's fate. And through 
our bond; so am I... although you are the one who'll face the perils." 
He smiled when he said the last words. His eyes were calm now, his 
fingers still playing in Legolas' hair.

"Let's cherish the days we have together, then" Legolas let Haldir's 
calm soothe him. "Don't let our days together be clouded by this that 
we fear."

Haldir smiled at him;

" Yes, my love. What is to happen will happen, we can not prevent
it... believe me, I have tried... and I am happier now that I have let 
it go... now, that I am resting in your arms...I am happier now with 
you than I have ever been... for such joy as this..." He drew a deep 
breath and clasped the other elf in his arms. Unable to find the right 
words to express his emotions he just held Legolas close, buried his 
face in the other Elf's hair. Savored the smell of it. The feel...

Legolas let him rest there for a while, his lips on the other's skin, 
his arms wrapped around his waist. Enjoying the embrace as well; the 
love he felt radiating from the other. When he felt Haldir's tense 
muscles relax he asked curiously;

"How was it... for you, to see me for the first time? To recognize me?"

"Horrible," Haldir laughed. "I was searching for your weakness. 
Watching you to see your mask fall; to see the darkness inside..." He 
chuckled softly, but when he spoke again something close to sadness was 
in his voice: "But there was no darkness in you, just light... I tried 
to befriend you at first, fearing that if I didn't act when we first 
met, you would find me later, in a more vulnerable state. In a state 
where I would be an easy prey to you... of course, I was intrigued by 
your beauty, mesmerized by your eyes already by then.." Haldir gave 
Legolas a teasing, almost offended look before continuing; "I fought 
it..." he said. "I told myself I could control my feelings... but at 
some point I ceased searching, I realized there was no evil in you - 
only love, for me..."

Legolas smiled and snuggled even closer to the other;

"In that you were right," he murmured softly. " In that one thing you 
were right."


IV


Haldir sat by the river, his fingers running over the white feathers on 
one of his arrows while he watched the water, dark now -almost black, 
in the night. As usual his thoughts drifted to the one he loved, and 
the quest that could mean the end of him. Haldir - always reluctant to 
give his loyalty to anyone but his own people, preferably the Galadhrim 
- found himself bound to the fates of ffour little Hobbits, a King to be 
of Men, a Steward Son of Gondor...and a Dwarf! Haldir wrinkled his 
nose. But most of all he was bound by a piece of gold. A small ring 
around a Hobbit's neck ,- and so the fate of the Evil One, a evil he 
had hoped to avoid by leaving... telling himself this was not their 
fight to fight. Their days here were ending and Men and Dwarves had 
never done his people much good. Now he would wait for Legolas. He 
would not leave the shores of Middle-Earth without him. And he feared 
for him...

One of them had fallen, he knew that. A silent cry from Legolas had 
awakened him one night. He supposed it was the Steward, not Estel... he 
would have known if it was him. The feel of Legolas' sorrow told him it 
was a man though; it had to be the one called Boromir.

Days later he felt a distinct unease on behalf of the Hobbits... and 
felt the grassland of Rohan under his feet. Fangorn forest... the feel 
of it seeped into his mind; he wondered what they were doing there, if 
it was safe, and more important: The Ring was gone from Legolas' 
presence. A relief, yet it worried him. Where was the Ring bearer? Had 
something gone horribly wrong on their journey? He wished he had never 
touched Estel so he could have joined them, been with his lover and 
protected him... it could still have been possible if they hadn't 
carried the Ring of Power with them. It could shroud people's minds, 
even elven ones...he and Legolas had talked about it and dismissed the 
idea. Realizing it could become too dangerous.

So now all he could do was to search the lands with his mind, briefly
connect with the soul he was bound to...

Missing Legolas, nothing new...still, so much stronger now. So much 
more overwhelming, now that he was his, Haldir's, for real. The nature 
of thequest increased the longing and the worry as well. That this 
could mean the end of this world and his beloved, played a bigger part 
in it than Haldir was comfortable with. He remembered the last day.  
The gift giving. How Lady Galadriel's eyes had sparkled and made her 
look much younger when she gave Haldir a secret look and gestured for 
him to take a place in front of Legolas, to fasten the brooch to his 
Lorien cloak.

Their promises to each other: "I will wait", "I will be back." A shared 
dream, their life together on the other shore. Ignoring the shadows, 
the omens from the past... love was what he felt now, what had replaced 
all other emotions in his heart. Given life and the future a new level 
of meaning, all because of a slender Elf with golden hair...

To taste the sweetness of his lips... the feel of his skin... Haldir 
lost himself in dreams not noticing the movements in the wood before 
his brother's voice reached his ear:

"Haldir, we have been summoned. You must come..."

Haldir rose quickly, he both feared and hoped it was news about the 
war. So entangled now in the matters outside of Lorien he wondered how 
he ever could have lived long years behind her borders, pretending the 
Golden Wood to be all that was.

When they entered the Lord and Lady's talan Haldir felt his heart race 
with suspense. He heard the Lady's voice ring clear out in the air, her
shimmering silhouette; a radiating glow that embraced them all. 
Mesmerized their hearts:

"We and Imladris will send a hundred skilled archer to aid them... Our 
last favor to the people we leave behind in Middle-earth... Mere 
children compared to us, but this land has fed us, embraced us, served 
us as we have served her. If not for her people, so for the Earth..."

Haldir was startled, this was a matter the Lord and Lady usually 
discussed with him alone before summoning the guard. Why?  Had he lost 
their faith? Where were they going?

- Legolas!

The answer so obvious. Painfully so... Where was he? What was going on?

He decided to keep silent until he could speak with the Lord and Lady 
in private. This was not a matter to discuss in front of the Galadhrim.

He caught his Lady's eyes drifting towards him; her voice in his head;
"later," confirming his suspicions. Celeborn looked at him as well. 
His wise eyes never left Haldir's face during the session. He could 
read compassion there, and understanding.

He gathered his thoughts enough to get the essentials of the Lady's 
speech.

The Uruk-Hai of Isengard were marching towards Helm's Deep. The old
stronghold of the Horse People of Rohan. Their aim was to slaughter all 
of them. Men, women and children alike.

Uruk-Hai, a breed that mocked life by its mere existence. More 
dangerous than any other species. Clever, strong, more fit for life 
than any Orc ever was. Machines of destruction. A cold shiver ran down 
Haldir's spine. Legolas! His heart cried out in despair. Images of 
black creatures surrounding his Golden Prince. Black blood tainting his 
long hair. His sword bloodied and his face bruised.

Where are you? he asked. Closed his eyes and felt the cold night air 
of the mountains of Rohan answer. A drift across his skin. The smell of 
the vegetation - and he knew he was right... Legolas was there... in 
Helm's Deep.


*************
Helm's Deep:

Legolas felt Haldir's presence as a soft touch in his mind. He was 
tired and weary from emotional turmoil; first they thought the two 
Hobbits lost, next Aragorn had fallen from the cliff, and now...when 
the Ranger had returned he had realized the hopelessness of the 
situation; a whole people behind walls that might prove too fragile.  
No warriors - just old men and young boys, save the King and his guard. 
They were all trapped, and why? They were supposed to follow Frodo to 
Mordor, not fight a doomed battle for an unfortunate people... still, 
his heart bled for these unfortunates. He could not deny that the
sight of their scared faces, the desperation of their souls left him
unmoved. He was just so tired of it all. Human nature, the lack of
experience that made Kings of Men make such foolish mistakes as to lock
their people up in a prison with no backdoor and just wait for the 
enemy to come. He missed Haldir's embrace. The calm coolness of his 
presence. Legolas longed for him with all his heart. The feeling of the 
other's mind soothed him but was all too quickly gone. He would have 
been so much braver, so much calmer with his lover by his side.

***************

Lothlorien:



"My lady!" Haldir bowed, but his eyes were not all friendly when they 
fell on the Lady's serene face.

"Haldir..." she started.

"I understand it is your wish that I stay at home while my warriors 
face danger!" Haldir arched his brows questioningly.

"Haldir, listen to me..." the Lady tried to calm him.

"Usually I would have been the first to know about this. You would have
asked me to lead them!"

"And usually you would be the first to argue that this isn't our war, 
that we should stay out of it... I think we both know what has 
changed..." The Lady's voice was calm. Her eyes challenged Haldir's 
across the room. "Doubtless, judging by your passion, you already know 
that he is there."

"I thought we agreed to not let the scene in the Mirror affect our
choices, or our judgment, anymore!" Haldir's eyes met the challenge and 
did not move. They held the powerful Lady's gaze locked in his.

"Haldir," her voice rose and her skin increased its glow. "It is too
obvious. It is foolishness. I can not be responsible for it when I know 
what I have seen..."

Haldir took a couple of deep breaths, forced his temper to cool.

"If I hadn't bound myself to Legolas before he left, would I have been 
the one to lead our archers now?" he asked.

Lord Celeborn answered from behind him, silently entering the talan.

"I think you know the answer to that as well, Haldir," he said. "It 
would have been you".

Haldir kept his gaze on the Lady, but answered the Lord:

"Of course it would... and is this something my lord and lady agree 
upon? That the Captain, the one the Guard knows, the one they trust, 
stays at home?"

Celeborn sighed;

"Well you know the answer to that question as well, my friend." 
Celeborn's hand came to rest on his shoulder.

Galadriel's eyes pierced his soul; stole pieces of his mind and read 
them:

"You think about the Ring," she said. "Why?"

Celeborn answered in Haldir's place:

"It was about to consume the Prince," he said with a voice that shook 
with pent-up anger. "It could reach his heart because Haldir's love for 
him was kept secret."

"Is that so, is that what you fear?" The Lady asked Haldir.

"What I fear," Haldir answered, "is to deliberately avoid my destiny 
again. I will not do it, my lady... what if Legolas gets hurt because I 
was not there... what if I am destined to be the bane of one Uruk-Hai 
and he lives on because I was not there to do it, what if he, because 
of my absence is free to wreak havoc... what if he crosses path with my 
prince..." Haldir's voice slowly filled with desperation as he painted 
the scene for the calm face in front of him. "I have sworn not to 
endanger him again!"

"We do not know if this is the time..." Celeborn added. "Haldir might 
live on for centuries..."

"And he might not." The Lady's clear gaze met theirs. Her flowing, 
whitedress caught in a breeze only she could feel. She brought her hand 
to her forehead in a weary gesture.

"I promised you once to do everything in my power, Haldir," she said. 
"But here, crossed by your will, my power ends..."

Celeborn's hand on Haldir's shoulder squeezed lightly through the 
fabric of his tunic.

"And he might yet return with great glory," the Lord reminded her.

The Lady's eyes met Haldir's again.

"Of course," she said and smiled, but the smile was weary as well. "May 
the Valar be with you and protect you, Haldir... for I fear..." she 
trailed off and turned her back to them. Slowly she walked to the 
stairs. Before entering them she turned one last time:

"Haldir of the Galadhrim, Captain of the Guard... will you lead our 
archers to Helm's Deep to defend the people of Rohan against the Uruk-
Hai of Isengard, even if it *more* than likely it *will* take your 
life? - Is your love worth such a price?"

"Yes, my lady." Haldir smiled slightly and gave a short nod. "It 
is... and I will lead them to Helm's Deep."

*************

Helm's Deep:


Silver horns announced their coming; reached the tired and frightened 
men behind the stone walls of their fortress.

Legolas recognized the Elf in the red cloak, their leader, long before 
they reached the gate. Standing on top of the stairs his heart raced at 
the sight; and the fear coiled itself out and snapped.

Haldir! He had come to their rescue. To *his* rescue... but the
price... Legolas swallowed hard. It could not be? Could it? They had 
just been bound to each other... it could not be! Not so soon...And the 
aid, the aid... it was priceless. The sight of the elven warriors gave 
him new hope...

The Elves reached the gate and Legolas hurried down the stairs just in 
time to see him being greeted by Aragorn, but Haldir's eyes were on 
him. Flared into life when he saw him in the stairs. When Aragorn 
embraced him he hesitated until Legolas gave him a nod, a blessing that 
he could return the embrace. Greet the tired and relieved man who had 
cast himself around his neck. Surprised by the public display of 
affection, Legolas waited until Aragorn had released his love before 
approaching.

Haldir's hands on him again, the solid flesh under his hands; not 
dreams and mist but reality. Legolas could not help but feel joy in 
this moment. Some of his worry must still have showed though, because 
Haldir bent forward and whispered in his ear;

"Do not worry, my love. In my vision it was raining and we were 
fighting in ruins...These walls look solid enough..." He smiled when he 
let Legolas go, reassuring him.

Legolas let out his breath. Haldir was right; this could not be the 
place. It would not happen... not this time. Instead he would have a 
splendid reward when the battle was over, Haldir would be there. He 
would be with his beloved. Smiling Legolas took his position among the 
archers. Focusing his gaze on the approaching Uruk-hai. Close enough to 
Haldir to feel his presence. Far enough away not to be distracted by 
thoughts of his safety.

Then it started raining. The sky cracked open and wept, showering them 
in silvery cascades of cold water. Unease grew in Legolas' heart but it 
was too late for the Uruk-Hai were coming.  A living ocean of black 
bodies, like shadows in the rain. The enemy's screams chilled their 
blood, the sight of them froze their hearts. Death in their eyes; these 
creatures were merciless.

As long as the walls stands, Legolas thought, we have nothing to fear 
as long as the walls are whole. He aimed his arrow at one of the 
approaching Uruk-Hai and fired along with the other archers; let his 
mind be consumed by that. Concentrate on that. The aiming and the goal; 
to hold them back, away from the walls. His mind slid into battle mode; 
nothing but the bow and the arrows was real. Aragorn's voice guiding 
them, telling him when to let the arrows fly.

The fight went on. The wave of Uruk-Hai seemed endless, every time one
fell,five came to take his place. Legolas was alert; didn't miss any of 
his targets. Every scream of pain, every fallen beast a victory. One 
less between him and his lover's arms. He deliberately avoided looking 
at Haldir. Did not search for him. Knew the other could handle it, was 
an experienced and exceptional warrior. Any threat towards Haldir would 
distract him, and Legolas couldn't afford distractions now.

The darkness and the rain made it harder to see, to take in the 
battlefield and see how they were doing as a whole. He had to focus on 
his little space, keep it clear of dark creatures. He fought and saw 
the black blood seep into the ground. He fought, and saw blonde manes 
of elven archers fall down from the wall. Then his heart bled, and he 
fought.

"Shoot him, Legolas!" Aragorn cried and Legolas aimed his arrow and 
fired. But the creature continued.  Carried some sort of dark globe in 
his arms. "Kill him!" And Legolas' arrow left the string; still the 
dark shadow continued straight towards the wall.

The explosion shook the fortress, shook the ground beneath. Bodies fell 
like leaves from branches; death waiting among the falling rocks on the 
mountain side. Helm's Deep; a trap.

Legolas watched as the wall exploded; the ruins took shape. The ruins 
in the rain where his lover was to die.

"Haldir!" he cried silently. Using his blades now, cutting his way 
through strong, muscled bodies. Feeling the flesh yield, the bones 
snap. Joked with the dwarf; think of anything but...

Where was he? Legolas' thoughts on the brink of panic. He had to get 
away from there! His bow sang, his blades cut deep into unholy flesh,
extinguished the sparks of life in the beast's unnatural eyes.

His arms dark with blood. His clothes torn and tainted with dust and 
blood; some of it red; some of it lighter than the rest; elven blood - 
the blood of his kin. Creatures that weren't meant to die, as the Uruk-
Hai were never meant to live...

Haldir! His heart cried out again. Where are you? Get away from this 
place. Hide!

Finally he saw him; he was fighting several of black beasts a little 
higher up. His armour shone bright even in the dim light; his blond 
mane just a blur of light as he rose his sword from the fallen creature 
in front of him. Determined to fight by his side Legolas started to 
fight his way across the distance...

"Haldir, get them inside!"

No! Legolas silently cried. "No!" He screamed it out. Haldir's head 
snapped in Aragorn's direction, then they met Legolas'. Silent 
understanding in that fragment of a second, acceptance in the depth of 
his eyes. Legolas turned his back to him; heard him call his warriors 
as through ahaze; the blood moving too fast in his body. Fight! He told 
himself; fight!

It was a scream. The rest of the night: A scream. A scream of falling 
bodies and bloody weapons. A scream as he cut and fired with the 
strength of ten of his kind. Despair and denial fueling his 
desperation. Get through this night, he told himself. Get through this 
night and then burn.

Tears clouded his vision and he fought them back.  His voice was a 
constant hoarse scream. His mind forced into focus: Kill them, kill 
them all.

When the Riders of  Rohan appeared with the dawn the others cheered. 
For Legolas the aid came too late. All too late. He died there. When 
the responsibility lifted from his shoulders, he died there on the back 
of his horse. His heart clouded and died. For his love was gone. His 
love was lost and he would never love again.


V


Numb and lifeless, dead inside, Legolas followed the others. He had 
made sure Haldir's body would be taken back to Lothlorien. Had kissed 
the closed eyelids. Let his fingers run through the silvery hair, 
shimmering even in death. But the light within was gone.

And all time, while he helped clear the battle ground, carry and pile 
the dead beasts' bodies, the one thought haunted him. A sudden anger 
towards the dead.  All those years wasted, separated from each other's 
embrace, because Haldir feared this moment. The Battle of Helm's Deep. 
And so he gave in, gave in just in time to see his fears become alive. 
His vision come true.

The rain and the ruins, Aragorn's cry...

And they had lost five hundred years of harmonious bliss...

...But in the end it meant nothing. His lover was gone. The soul he 
was bound to had left this world. And so he left Helm's Deep with the 
others. His face a closed mask. His eyes pained and dark. Legolas did 
not cry. The source was empty. He was dry inside. His heart as cold and 
lifeless as the dead... he knew he was beginning to fade and he would 
not fight it. His soul's twin was gone and no happiness remained for 
Legolas on this Earth.

Silently he rode with the company, all of them absorbed in their own
thoughts. Nobody finding his silence disturbing. They had their own 
dead to grieve. Their own burdens to carry.

"Haldir, why did you come?  When did you decide to join in the battles 
of Men?" Every thought a cry in despair. Every question a new, bleeding 
wound. Yet the pain did not completely embrace his soul for it was 
frozen. If he let the truth become alive in him, reality take shape it 
would surely burn it. So he kept it frozen and caged.Protecting his 
spirit, avoiding the full force of the pain as long as he could, as 
long as he still had a will to do so... he knew it was just a matter of 
time. A matter of time before his own walls crashed down. And then, 
Legolas would die. No fading over long years. He would never see the 
spring in Mirkwood again, no matter how this journey ended. Next time 
spring came Legolas would be a drift in the wind, a tear on the face of 
Nimrodel. His star was fading now.

**************

They had set camp in the forest. Nobody noticing Legolas dark 
expression save Gandalf, who looked at him with knowledge and 
compassion.

"Will you not try and save me?" Legolas asked when the two had a moment 
to themselves while the others gathered firewood. His eyes challenged 
the wizard, yet they held no spark.

Gandalf's hand came to rest on his shoulder;

"I cannot Legolas, I wish I could but the only one who can is gone..."
Gandalf embraced him lightly. His white robes floating around his body;
"This darkness," he said, as he pressed his thumb to Legolas' forehead,
"...is lethal."

***************

He grew into the habit of spending his nights alone. Wandering in the 
woods, restless yet numb. No passion left. No joy in that he saw. No 
peace. No rest.

One of these nights he came across Aragorn in a clearing. The man sat 
on his cloak, his head rested in the palms of his hands. His shoulders 
shook in silent cry.

"Are you grieved?" Legolas voice was as dead as his insides.

The Ranger looked up, surprised,

"Legolas!" His eyes were big and vulnerable like a child's. "I cannot 
keep it inside anymore," he burst out. "I think I loved him..." his 
voice was thick with sorrow.

"Who?" Legolas could not follow his thoughts.

"Your kinsman, Haldir." Aragorn whispered. "He gave his life for 
us... for me..." Aragorn continued, oblivious to the pain that flared 
across Legolas' features.

"I am sorry, Aragorn..." Legolas said, still no emotion in his voice. 
"I cannot comfort you."

He turned on his heel and disappeared into the woods.

Once he was shielded from the Ranger's surprised eyes he began to run. 
He ran as fast as he could. Ran so fast that he could not think. Tried 
to outrun the pain, outrun the sorrow. He ran until the trees became a 
blur, still it followed him, threatened to swallow him. He ran until 
the earth cried out in pain under his feet, until the trees' souls 
screamed when he ran pass them, trying to shield themselves from the 
raging despair that radiated from the elf. He ran a little too fast. 
The tears in his eyes blurred his sight. The pain inside disturbing his 
concentration and suddenly he tumbled to the ground. His head hit a 
rock and he was gone. Peace at last he thought. Rest now, in sweet 
nothingness.

The sky held a dark shade of pink when he opened his eyes. Yet it was 
filled with stars. Tiny, silvery points spread across the alien 
horizon. He lay on a dark, grassy meadow. The scent of fresh green 
tickled his nostrils. Dark blue clouds drifted across the pink starlit 
sky but he could not feel the wind.

Death, he thought. It has come to me at last.

"No it has not!" a voice answered him.

He looked up and saw Haldir. Beautiful as in life, his Lord of Moon and 
Mithril; shimmering skin, dark, glowing eyes. Draped in something that 
looked like blue velvet. He stood before him on a hillside. Far enough 
away that Legolas shouldn't be able to hear him across the distance.
Yet he did.

Legolas rose quickly, ignoring the dizziness from the fall. His heart 
pounded heavily in his chest, his mind not able to understand this he 
was experiencing. "It's a foolish dream! A fantasy," he thought, but 
then the feel of the alien land, the scent of the air - the ground 
beneath his feet told him otherwise. Joy slowly gathered in his chest; 
he was seeing his lost lover again - and it was no dream. He wanted to 
run to him, reach for him, touch him... but Haldir's voice stopped him;

"No!" he said. "You cannot reach me."

"Where is this? What is this place?" Legolas cried out, his feet still 
tried to move but were as frozen to the ground.

Haldir smiled at him across the meadow, a soft, loving smile.

"You are visiting the Hall of Mandos, my love, and we must speak 
quickly for you must soon return."

"I will not return," Legolas cried out. "I want to be with you!"

"I know!" Haldir's voice held pain now. "I never wanted to leave you, 
my prince. I wish you could be with me, but you cannot, you must live."

"I will not live!" Legolas yelled, still struggling to make his feet 
move, tears run freely from his eyes.

"Legolas!" Haldir cried out in despair. "You reach for me with your 
soul, soon it will leave your body for good... you will fade, and you 
know this, still you do not fight it..." Haldir's voice trailed off.

"There is nothing for me there...!" Legolas voice was trembling.

"My love, there is... go back and live... cross the sea in time. Live 
our dreams for me..." Haldir's voice insisted.

"No!" Legolas cried. "I will not leave without you!"

A slight smile curled Haldir's red lips;

"I didn't think you would," his smile was a sad one. "Then, my prince, 
will you wait for me? Go back, live and wait for my return?"

"Can you? Oh, Haldir - will you return?" Unable to truly believe his 
words, hope flared and faded in his voice.

Haldir smiled with sparkling eyes;

"If you wish it of me, I will return in time."

"Yes!" Legolas cried. "Yes, come back to me my love, for I cannot live
without you!"

Haldir still smiled, with a slight bow he continued;

"Then, if your quest is successful, remain in Middle-Earth, share your
wisdom with Estel, be the Elven Lord of his court. Help the poor Men
rebuild their lands... when you hear my call, cross the sea and I will 
be waiting for you on the other shore."

"When?" Legolas cried as he noticed the surroundings begin to fade, 
black 
night swallow the pink and silver sky.

"When the time is right, my love... when it is time."

**************

They carried him back to the camp. It had taken them hours to find him 
even when they'd been guided by Gandalf's white staff.

Gimli the Dwarf shed tears over the limp, elven body.

"Will he live?" The Dwarf asked Aragorn who was busily mixing herbs in 
a tray.

"I think so, Gimli." Aragorn answered. "I only wish he would wake up 
soon." Worried eyes on the slender body on the ground.

Gandalf came to stand by them, his wise, kind eyes were smiling when he 
looked at the Elf in front of them. He put a comforting hand on ech of 
the worried friend's shoulders;

"He will," he said. "Once his soul has returned."

"Where is it?" Gimli asked with wide eyes.

"Visiting a friend," Gandalf smiled. "But I think he'll be back fairly
soon..."

***************


Epilogue:

Minas Tirith, 1541

King Elessar was dead, his face was still, his heart no longer beat in
his chest. Much good had he done for his country and for the world of 
men. His widow and his friends grieved a strong leader, a wise ruler. A 
man; honorable and warm. Compassionate and true.

Legolas steadied Gimli the Dwarf as they left the chamber with the 
dead. The two Hobbits in front of them huddled together, one of them 
leaning his head on the other's shoulder. They were old now, as was the 
Dwarf beside him, but Legolas was the same, his face ever beautiful and 
young. Only his eyes spoke of the years that had passed. The 
responsibility, but also the joy of being there, of being a part of the 
process - the shaping of this new Middle-Earth.

He thought about this bond that existed between them, the remainders of 
the Fellowship, the bond none who hadn't been there could share. The 
evil they had seen being incomprehensible for someone who hadn't 
experienced it themselves. A bond that almost forced them to stay 
together, continue their fellowship - be like a family. They were a 
part of each other's being now, deeply marked in their souls after 
their adventures... now one more was gone. King Elessar, Aragorn - was 
gone...

Gimli patted Legolas' hand on his shoulder. The Elf had become like a 
father to the Dwarf during their quest. Still, he could give comfort as 
well, knew when Legolas needed it the most...now Legolas gave him a 
grateful smile as they continued down the corridor of the palace. Dark 
veils marked the passing of the King and white candles were the only 
source of light as the humans mourned their leader. Legolas thoughts 
drifted to Arwen, her pale face. Her realization that this was the 
beginning of the end for her as well. His heart bled for the Queen - 
as for her children...

Legolas' mournful musings were suddenly shattered. A voice, deep and 
clear rang inside his head:

"Come now," the voice called. "Come to me, my Legolas."  The voice he 
had not heard since that day so long ago continued: "He is gone now. 
The time is right, I am waiting."

A sudden burst of relief in Legolas' chest. Buried longing sprang back 
to life:

"Gods, yes, I'm coming!" He cried it out loud both with his voice and 
his mind. The Dwarf had to steady *him* now so he would not fall to the 
floor as his knees buckled and dizziness clouded his vision when the 
strong emotions suddenly roamed free in him. Painful and raw. Bitter 
and sweet. Overwhelming and joyous... "At last.." he whispered, "my 
love...at last."

********

"....then Legolas built a grey ship in Ithilien; and sailed down Anduin 
and so over Sea; with him, it is said, went Gimli the Dwarf. And when 
that ship passed an end was come in Middle-earth of the Fellowship of 
the Ring."

( J.R.R. Tolkien, RotK, Appendix B)



The End