Title: The Wake of a Mistake 
Author: Orchyd Constyne 
Contact: orchydconstyne@hithanaur.net
Website: http://www.hamena.org/naiteiru/
Fandom: LOTR 
Archive: LoM, OEAM, Galadhrim.net, AFF.net, Melethryn
Disclaimer: I do not own LotR or any characters, lands, or items from
the Tolkien world.  They belong to their respective copyright holders.
Rating: NC-17 Beta: Silvara & Menel
Cast: Legolas/Haldir
Summary: Haldir has come as Legolas hoped, but is the Prince ready to
love again, even if it is his first love that asks for it?
A/N: This is the sequel to "Anywhere On My Own", and this is dedicated
to Menel as well.  She inspired this fic, helped me along with it and
I hope it helps make the storyline feel more complete than leaving our
dear Prince hanging like I did in the previous fic.  ^^

---

"Forgot all about yesterday
 Remembering,
I'm pretending to be where
 I'm not anymore
A little taste of hypocrisy
 And I'm left in the wake of the mistake
Slow to react
 Even though you're so close to me
You're still so distant
 And I can't bring you back" 	
	With You -- Linkin Park

I.

"You said you believed you had found an answer to my question, Prince.
I have come to hear it."  Haldir smiled at the half-dressed, shocked
Elf before him.  He had dreamed of Legolas for centuries, had burned
for the archer from the moment he had met him.  It was only his age
and honor that kept him from taking Legolas into his bed all those
years ago, but now...  Now, Legolas had once more given him an open
invitation.

"Haldir," came the breathless greeting.

"Aye, my Lord, I have come."

Legolas stepped back, inviting the taller Elf into his room.  "I
thought..."

Haldir smirked in his direction.  "That I would not come?  Oh, Prince,
you do not know how long I have waited for the chance to rectify a
mistake I made."  Haldir produced from the pocket of his tunic a
folded piece of parchment, presenting the sheet to Legolas. 

Legolas unfolded the paper and the Prince's handwriting was visible.
It was the simple letter he had sent months previous, in hopes that
Haldir would come to him.  He looked up from the letter.  "A mistake?" 
Legolas' eyes clouded with confusion, but Haldir only chuckled.

"We can discuss that later.  It is late and I only wanted to inform
you that I have come.  I will stay in Minas Tirith as long as you have
need of me.  Rumil and Orophin will be joining me shortly.  I wished
to ride ahead of them; my need to see you was that great."  He brought
his hand up to the Prince's cheek and inhaled his fresh, woodland
scent.  He gazed into eyes so deep and so blue as to rival the
cloudless summer sky.

Looking into that kindhearted gaze, into eyes still radiating an
innocence the heir of Eryn Lasgalen had not lost, Haldir was taken
back to a late summer afternoon when he first set eyes upon the beauty
of Legolas Thranduilion.

~~~~~

Lothlórien, Third Age 1984

Haldir stood in the bough of one of the great trees on the edge of
Lórien's lands.  His eyes looked into the distance, toward the north,
and watched.  After a few moments, he saw the standards of King
Thranduil and the large escort behind them.  The warriors created a
diamond pattern, the center being the young Prince.  Haldir sighed.
Somehow he, the Captain of his Lord's soldiers, was to look after
Thranduil's heir.  Celeborn had insisted that it be Haldir who would
befriend the Wood Elf and when Haldir had asked why it was so
important received a shock.  It seemed that Legolas was Celeborn's
niece's grandson.

The Sinda's head still spun from that one.  He let out a deep breath
as he leapt from his perch, landing silently on the soft ground below.
The entourage would enter the wood within a few moments and Haldir
sent up an owl-hoot to his men with the order to fan out among the
tall, thick trees and follow them closely.

Haldir stood tall among the wooded backdrop, his hair pulled into
neat, even warrior plaits, cloak fluttering in the light breeze and
his eyes dark and calculating.  He was an unusual Elf among the
Sindarin population living in the Golden Wood.  He had the pale,
almost silver hair that even his Lord possessed, but his eyes were
dark.  In all his long years, he had met only one other Elf who shared
the same shadowy eyes as he: Erestor of Imladris.  His lips curved
into a slight smile as he of thought his friend in the valley of
Rivendell.  He needed to petition Celeborn for some time away; he
missed his dear friend.

His smile disappeared when the group of Elves came within the
boundaries of the magical wood.  He placed his hand over his heart and
bowed slightly when the Elf at the center of the escort rode forth to
speak with him.  "My Lord," he addressed, raising his gaze to the
mounted archer.

Haldir felt his heart leap in his chest when he met the compassionate,
liquid gaze of eyes that sparkled like sapphires.  The Prince's hair,
the color of honeyed-wheat, floated lightly about him, dancing
playfully in the gentle wind and was almost aglow in the late
afternoon light.  On the flaxen crown of his head, Legolas wore a
simple mithril diadem, wrought in gentle curves and twists.  This was
the only true indication of his status among the other Elves, for he
wore only plain green and grey traveling clothes and an unadorned
brown cloak.  After living for three Ages, Haldir felt that it took
quite a lot to impress him.  The air with which the Wood Elf carried
himself with, the gentle authority he radiated, brought an immediate
sense of respect from Haldir.  He no longer thought the prospect of
spending time with the younger Elf as a burden, but as a chance to
honestly befriend the kind-looking Sinda.

Looking up at the serene Elf, Haldir chuckled to himself.  The look
upon the Prince's face spoke volumes.  He was just as interested in
the ebony-eyed warrior as Haldir was in him.

"Lord Haldir."  The musical voice floated on the wind and Haldir
smiled.

"I have not been referred to by that title in many a year, my Prince.
Here, in the wood of Lord Celeborn, I am simply a warrior."

Legolas offered Haldir a blinding smile.  "One is never 'simply' a
warrior, mellonen.  Your deeds have traveled even so far as my
father's court, Captain.  Do not do yourself such an injustice as to
discount your title.  It is well earned."

Haldir bowed his head slightly to acknowledge the compliment.  "Your
Highness is too kind.  We will be unable to reach the city before
nightfall, but if you will follow me, there are several telain but a
few leagues ahead."

Legolas nodded and remained at the head of his escort.  Haldir turned
from the Prince and his company, taking point and leading them through
the dappled paths of Lórien's outer woods.

~~~~~

Legolas' eyes were glazed and his lips parted and moist.  Haldir
calmed his thoughts, kissing Legolas' cheek softly.  "Idho mae,
ernilen," he whispered as he pulled away from the Wood Elf.  "Tirathon
le ned i aur."

The archer nodded and Haldir could feel the heat of his gaze as he
exited the room.  Haldir leaned against the door after he closed it,
taking a deep breath and willing his heart to slow.  It had been well
over two decades since he had seen Legolas, and to be in such an
intimate position so soon...  Haldir had not been prepared for what
Legolas' presence could still do to him.

The elder Elf shook his head and set off down the hall toward his
guest chamber.  He had promised Arwen that he would have breakfast
with her and her family as a means of atonement for having been absent
for both her second daughter's and her son's birth.  The Queen could
be very persuasive; he had already told her he wished to spend the day
with his Prince.  She would hear none of it.

Typical, he thought as he entered his room.

*****

Arwen did not stop at a single breakfast with Haldir and Legolas.  She
insisted the two wayward Elves spend each meal dining with the royal
family.  Mornings were spent with Arwen and her daughters playing
games in the gardens, while late afternoons were wiled away teaching
the girls to ride their horses with Aragorn.  After supper, Arwen and
Aragorn would bid them goodnight and leave them to watch the children
until the governess would fetch the sleepy babes.

It was only then that the two old friends would have any time together
alone.  But, the only thing they had the energy for, after hours of
tending to Arwen's offspring, was a quick walk to the Wood Elf's room
where Haldir would whisper a few tender words in Legolas' ear before
shutting the Prince's bedroom door and retiring to his own bed.  This
went on for three days before Arwen gave them a reprieve.

Haldir mounted his horse and looked over his shoulder at Legolas. They
had decided to ride to the banks of the Anduin and have a late
afternoon meal before returning to their duties as 'uncles' -- as
Aragorn affectionately called them.  It would take them only half an
hour to reach the spot Legolas had chosen for their luncheon.

They dismounted and Haldir watched as Legolas looked wistfully about
them.  "What does this place mean to you, meldir?" he asked, folding
his legs beneath him as he sat on the warm grass.

Legolas joined him, bringing the small basket with him and the bottle
of wine.  "It was here, speaking with Arod, that I decided to travel
the lands," he said sadly.  "I miss Arod.  He was a good and faithful
mount.  When we passed through Fangorn, I sent Arod back to Eomer.  He
had seen the worst of battles and most certainly deserved to live out
his days in comfort in the royal stable.  Which," he flashed a
dazzling smile at Haldir, "he did.  My current mount is his son.  Just
as faithful and just as true."

Haldir nodded, returning the smile, and they shared several moments of
silence, listening to the rushing waters of the Great River.  Legolas
pulled out simple, rustic wooden goblets and poured them both wine
from the tinted bottle.  "A vintage Ada sent me not too long ago," he
offered and sipped his drink.

"These past few days have been tiring, have they not?" Haldir asked,
looking into his cup.

Legolas nodded.  "I love the children as perhaps you would love a
child of Orophin's, but they are more trouble than I ever thought
something so small could be."  He shook his head, turning laughing
eyes on the elder Elf.  "I do believe I dislike children.  I suppose
it serves me right, preferring those of my own gender.  Children are a
moot point for me."

Haldir nodded and continued to sip his wine.

~~~~~

The children ran between them, circling the Prince and his Guardian
with ribbons and laughter.  Haldir smiled down at the small creatures
and looked into Legolas' eyes.  "Elflings."

Legolas laughed.  "Aye.  I remember the light-hearted flights of fancy
my younger brothers and I would have during Echuir."

"Do you ever wish to have children of your own, meldir?"  They resumed
their walk and Haldir's eyes drifted time and time again to the fair
face of the Prince.

Legolas chewed his lip slightly as he did when he was thinking deeply
about something.  Haldir found the habit endearing and longed to reach
over and kiss the slightly swollen bottom lip when Legolas was through
abusing it.  "I believe I would.  I have never been around children
for an extended period of time, other than my siblings, but I would
think a family would be lovely.  Though, I do not believe I shall have
one."

"Why is that?"  Haldir felt his brow furrow when Legolas stopped
walking to look up through the boughs of the tall mellryn.  Finally,
serious indigo eyes turned to his and Legolas closed the space between
them.

"Because, beriadiren, I have very little interest in the activity
which would produce the family I would like."

Haldir, for all his years, felt a slight blush creep across his
cheeks.  He could not believe he had missed all the little hints of
Legolas' preference.  Now that the Elf had let Haldir know his
desires, in no uncertain terms, Haldir could piece the events over the
last few weeks together.  He sensed conflicted emotions and thoughts
coming from the Mirkwood heir when he focused on Legolas, but he had
not thought that he could have been the center of that internal
turmoil.  Haldir looked from the hypnotic gaze and the flood of desire
he felt in the younger Elf.

"And what of your father?" he asked and began to walk back toward the
royal talan where the Prince was housed.

"What of him?" came the confused, slightly dejected response.

"Does he agree with your... choice?  You are the eldest child, which
makes you the heir to his kingdom should he ever pass to the West or
meet his end here in Arda.  As the heir, it would be up to you to take
a wife and produce an heir yourself."

Legolas laughed.  "Ada has two other sons and a daughter, beriadiren.
The order of birth means little to him.  I have spent most of my two
thousand years roaming the lands and defending Mirkwood.  I am a
warrior, not a statesman.  My youngest brother, he fell right into the
order of things at court."  Legolas shook his head.  "Ada must have
found the arrangement to his liking.  He has stopped hounding me about
my duties to Mirkwood and he no longer shows disappointment in my
middle brother's choice to become a Healer and study with Lord
Elrond."  He looked into Haldir's eyes.  "Ada believes that his
children should do as their hearts bid them, and mine does not lead me
to a throne and to a family."

Haldir swallowed visibly.  "Where does it lead you, then, ernil vain?"

A cool hand rested against his hot cheek and Haldir closed his eyes,
leaning into the gentle caress.  "It led me to the Golden Wood, in
search of shadowed obsidian and mithril in the moonlight..." he
whispered.  "I dream of you, beriadir."  Haldir could feel the young
Sinda's sweet breath near his lips, could hear the soft rushing of his
thoughts -- stronger now because of the physical contact and the open
nature of Legolas' heart, and he wanted to give in to his desire to
embrace Legolas and take him to the ground.

Instead, he took a step back, his soul crying out at the loss of
contact with Legolas, and smiled sorrowfully at the hurt he saw in the
Prince's eyes.  "I know what it is you would wish for, Legolas," he
said, his tone compassionate and sad.  "Know that I would give it to
you were I able to.  You are so much younger than myself, ernilen.
No," he put up a hand to stop the protest he could feel welling in the
heart of the Wood Elf.  "I do not mean you are a mere Elfling,
Legolas.  It is that I am nearing my sixth millennium and you have not
even reached your second."

"I am not innocent, if that is what you are implying, Haldir," he said
quietly.

Haldir shook his head slightly.  "But you are.  You may not be in the
matters of physical pleasures, but you are in the ways of the heart,
pen-vuil."

Legolas smiled, his voice deepening slightly.  "And who, in all of
Arda, is better to teach me than you?"  When he received no answer
from the March Warden, the Wood Elf stepped away from his friend, a
note of indignation in his tone.  "You stand there and tell me I do
not know love because I do not have your years?  That you will not
have me because you think I am unable to distinguish love from lust?"

"Legolas, please, peace.  I do not mean to insult you.  From my
position, I do not see how one of your station and years would know
the flame of love."  Haldir has seen the type of infatuation he
thought the Prince felt for him, and he had almost lost his heart.  He
would never again take the rash words of a youth so seriously.

"I see."  He lowered his eyes and Haldir's heart bled for causing the
Prince this pain.  "Melon le, beriadiren.  Iston hen." he whispered.
"Ae avochebin le be velethronen, hebithon le be vellonen."  He looked
up, his eyes shining with unshed tears of disappointment, and offered
a watery smile.

"Oh, ernilen..." was all Haldir could choke out.

~~~~~

The sun had long dipped below the horizon and Haldir lay on his back
with Legolas snuggled against his chest.  They had spoken of little
during their picnic and Haldir had allowed himself to become lost in
the memories of a much brighter, more vibrant Prince of Mirkwood.  "We
should leave this place and return to the city, mellonen.  Arwen will
become agitated if we are not present for the evening meal."  He
turned his head and inhaled the fragrance of Legolas' hair, allowing
the scent of cool spring streams and fresh tree sap to soothe his
ragged soul.

"Always looking after me," came the mumbled, heavily relaxed reply.

Haldir whispered, "Beriadirech."

Legolas sat up on his elbow so he lay across Haldir's chest.  "Aye,"
he murmured.  "Ernilech."

The Guardian could not stop himself and reached up, threading his
fingers through the soft silk of Legolas' hair.  The Prince leaned in
and captured Haldir's lips with his own in a soft, chaste kiss that
Haldir quickly deepened.  Legolas welcomed him into his mouth,
allowing Haldir to taste the sweetness the younger Elf offered. Haldir
moaned deep in his throat when Legolas suckled on the tip of his
tongue and drew back.  Haldir did not know if he had seen a more
erotic sight than the Mirkwood Elf with half-lidded, passion-darkened
eyes; his lips parted, slightly swollen and glistening from their
kiss.

"I have wanted to do that since that day in the woods, Haldir, when
you met my escort.  I wanted you in my arms."  His hand rested over
Haldir's heart, the even rhythm beating in time with Legolas'.

"I know."

*****

The royal family lay sprawled in the lush grass in the large
courtyard.  Haldir cuddled and played with tiny Eldarion while Legolas
played a leaping game with the two girls.  Arwen reclined against her
husband and took in the scene before them.  "You tend to him so well,
mellonen!" she called out to Haldir.  "Why is it you never settled and
had children of your own?"

Haldir looked up from his position: on his back, legs partially up,
with Eldarion held in his arms above him.  The child was gurgling and
laughing as Haldir issued several silly noises.  He brought the Prince
close to his chest and looked from his deep grey eyes to the stormy
gaze of his mother.  He simply shrugged and looked toward Legolas who
was on the bottom of a pile of wriggling little girls.

"Did Rumil or Orophin ever settle?" Aragorn asked.

"Orophin married and has a daughter.  Rumil has a partner who has
shared his life for several centuries now."  He looked to the King and
Queen.  "He is not in a relationship where children are an option."
They nodded and Arwen smiled at the scene beyond Haldir.

"Merilin!  Do not pull Legolas' hair!"  The youngest girl looked up
guiltily and nodded to her mother, removing her fingers from the
yellow tresses.

Heavy footsteps sounded in the hall behind the courtyard and Aragorn
sat up straighter, looking over his shoulder.  Faramir entered the
yard and bowed before his King.  "My Liege, advance runners for the
realms of Eryn Lasgalen have arrived."

Haldir sat up suddenly, jostling the half-sleeping infant.  Eldarion
let out a high pitched wail and Haldir handed him off to Arwen.  "I am
sorry, pen-dithen," he whispered as he placed a chaste kiss on the
screaming babe's brow.  Legolas joined Haldir, Aragorn and Arwen with
Merilin and Tuilinn in tow.

"What is the matter, Haldir?" he asked.

Haldir waved his hand.  "I had forgotten all about the party from Eryn
Lasgalen, that is all.  I startled Eldarion and set him off crying."
He leaned down and spoke soft words in Sindarin and Eldarion soon
drifted off into sleep.  "I am sorry, Arwen," he said, looking up to
meet her wide eyes.

"You are amazing, mellonen."  She smiled and rocked the infant.

Haldir just smiled down at mother and child.  "There is a party from
Adar's realm?"  Legolas' voice held a note of hope.

The Guardian looked to him and chuckled.  "Aye.  Lord Celeborn and
King Thranduil will arrive in two day's time with a small host of
Elves -- my brothers, their spouses and Orophin's daughter."

A large smile spread across Legolas' face and he wrapped his arms
around Haldir in a spontaneous embrace.  "It has been many years since
I have seen any of them, and even longer since I have been in the
company of your brothers!"

~~~~~

Lothlórien, Third Age 3019

"I worry for you, ernilen vuil," Haldir said quietly as he fastened
the brooch to Legolas' cloak.  He brushed the Prince's cheek with the
back of his hand.

Legolas smiled.  "I promise, meldir, that I will return, and we will
see one another again."

Haldir looked to Aragorn, who watched them with burning intensity.  He
knew the Man loved the Elf; he also knew the Elf felt just as deeply
for the Man.  The twist that the Valar had bestowed upon him, though,
was that here -- over a thousand years after first meeting the Prince
-- Haldir found his heart aching.  He had had many nights with which
to lament his choice that afternoon so many years passed.  He had
turned from the Prince's affections, and now he had found someone who
did love him.

What disturbed the Galadhrim was *who* that chosen one was.  Aragorn,
son of Arathorn, was betrothed to Arwen Undomiel.  Legolas would have
no place at his side should the Quest be completed.  He would be
abandoned, cast aside, or he would be asked to be the King's catamite.
He could not see Legolas agreeing to such an arrangement, for it would
break the Evenstar's heart to share her husband.  It would not be fair
to Legolas, either, should he be forced to share Aragorn's love with
Arwen.  The situation was one that Haldir saw little hope of happiness
for the Prince.

It still left Legolas alone.  "Be safe, Legolas," he said, fighting
back the sting of tears.

Legolas nodded and squeezed Haldir's hand.  He turned and boarded the
small Elven boat he would share with the Dwarf and set off down Anduin
and away from his Guardian.

Haldir heard the soft crunching of the ground cover and then a warm,
heavy hand resting on his shoulder.  "Rumil, you truly need to work on
your stealth exercises," Haldir chastised.

"Why did you not kiss him, muindor?"  Haldir spun and faced his
youngest sibling with unbelieving eyes.

"Rumil, he is not mine."

Orophin appeared and shook his head.  "Neither is he Aragorn's,
Haldir."

Haldir looked away, wishing to hide his pain from his brothers.  "In
as much as he can belong to someone, he is Aragorn's.  I have no claim
on him beyond friendship."

Rumil wrapped his arms around his brother's waist while Orophin placed
one long arm around them both.  "You should have spoken to him long
before this, muindor," Orophin chastised.  Rumil merely nodded against
Haldir's broad chest.

"There are many things I should have done in my life, Orophin.  Now is
not the time to regret it."  He sighed and squeezed his brothers
close.  "When this is over, when he is free from Aragorn--"

"If Aragorn releases him, you mean," came Rumil's muffled and bitter
interruption.

"When he is free from Aragorn," he continued, "I will speak with him.
I will go to him when he has need of me.  I will always be there for
him."

"Because you love him," Orophin stated.

Haldir looked out over the Anduin, at the faint shape of the boats,
and, with a ragged voice, answered, "Because I love him."

~~~~~

Haldir released Legolas and nodded.  "Aye, they are eager to see you
again, as well.  I know Gelirwen, Orophin's daughter, has been looking
forward to meeting the Elf we speak so highly of."

Legolas blushed slightly.  Haldir held his breath for a moment as he
took in the alluring stain on the Prince's cheeks and wondered if that
same flush would appear when...

He stopped his thoughts right then.  He cleared his throat and took
Legolas' arm.  "My Lady, my Lord," he said, addressing the silent King
and Queen.  "I must speak with Legolas privately.  Are we to join you
for the evening meal?"

Arwen nodded.  "Of course!"  She looked at Aragorn.  "Ata'da will be
here," she beamed.  "He has not met Eldarion yet and I know he will
simply adore him!"  Haldir smiled at her enthusiasm and led Legolas
off to his chambers.

Once the door was closed, Haldir sat the Prince on his bed and took
his hand in his.  "Ernilen," he began.  "Before Rumil and Orophin
arrive, there is something you should know."

II.

They stood on the main stairs leading into the citadel.  The Eryn
Lasgalen party had arrived and was making their way up to the seventh
tier.  Haldir, standing beside Legolas, watched the younger Elf
closely. It had been two days since the Prince had been told about the
years he had been absent from Haldir's life.  Legolas had been upset,
but Haldir believed Legolas was more confused than angry.  They had
plenty of time, though, for Haldir to explain in intricate detail all
that had transpired.  Their conversation the day the advance runners
had arrived had only touched on the surface of Haldir's life now.

~~~~~

He held onto the cool, slender hand in his own larger one and took a
deep breath.  "I met someone, Legolas, over a decade ago."

"Met... someone?" the Prince echoed.

Haldir nodded.  "Aye.  She," he intensified his grip on Legolas' hand
when he felt the body next to him stiffen.  "Please, listen to me,
ernilen."  He met Legolas' guarded gaze and pleaded with him silently.
Finally, Legolas nodded.

"She was a beautiful blonde She-Elf from your father's kingdom.  We
found comfort in one another's arms and, over the course of several
years, grew quite fond of one another."  Haldir tuned away from the
intense eyes of his long-time friend and looked out the large
double-door balcony at the fading sun.

"The years passed without either she or I noticing and I decided I
wished for her to join me in Rhûn Lórien.  I still had my duties to
Celeborn, still had my brothers and Orophin has his small daughter
whom I am so fond of.  We were never formally wed," he said, returning
his gaze to Legolas' blank face.  He sighed.  "We lived as a wedded
couple lived for only three years before she was taken with several
other Elves by a remnant of Orcs and Uruk-hai.  We searched everywhere
for the party, Legolas, but when we found them, it was too late to do
anything for them."  Haldir felt his eyes fill with remembered pain
and fought the tears that threatened to spill.  "I cannot say that I
loved her as I... loved the other in my life I have long desired. 
But, she holds a very sacred place within my heart, and I mourned her
death.  I still mourn her.  She was a bright light in a very dark time
for me and no immortal life should end as hers ended."

Legolas blinked a few times and then cleared his throat.  "What dark
time do you speak of?  You did not seem so lost when Gimli and I
passed through your realm during our travels."  Legolas' tone was sour
and he removed his hand from Haldir's grip.

Haldir's shoulders slumped.  He was tired.  "You passed through
twenty-four years ago, Legolas.  And you never returned.  She came
into my life six years after you left, long after I had given up hope
that you would come back to me."

"Come back to you?" Legolas asked quietly when Haldir refused to meet
his eyes.

"I loved you, Legolas.  Just as I do now."  It was a simple truth and
one Haldir was pleased to finally part with.

Legolas' head turned sharply to him.  "You loved me?  You love me
still?"

"I have loved you for several centuries."

"And you say this as if it's common knowledge.  Why did you never
speak of this with me?"  Legolas stood and crossed his arms, his tone
giving away his agitation.

Haldir looked up into the stormy eyes and shook his head.  "I had
rejected you when we first met and thought your feelings had changed
over the years.  Especially when you began your relationship with
Silinde.  It was about that time that I realized how much you meant to
me, but you had chosen another as your lover and I could not come
between the two of you."

"Silinde and I did not last but a few decades, Haldir.  There are many
years in between when you could have made your feelings known to me. I
would have welcomed them."

"I am sure you would have.  By the time I had found that you were no
longer with Silinde, you had begun your relationship with Calan and he
would not permit anyone to interfere with your romance.  That affair,
Legolas, lasted centuries and you were devastated when he left you to
marry that Elf-maid.  I could not have come to you then, either.  You
needed a friend, not another suitor.

"And when you came through Lothlórien with Aragorn as your lover, I
lost all hope.  Until you arrived in your father's kingdom with the
Dwarf..."

"Heartbroken and in need of comfort.  You could have eased my sorrow
then, Haldir.  You could have spoken of your love then and perhaps I
would not have run away for thirty years."

Haldir stood up and glared at his friend.  "Would you have believed
me, Prince?  Or would you have thought me cold for playing with your
heart?  I was right, was I not?  There was no one you would have
allowed to ease your pain.  You were young, you loved me, and you
would have eagerly given your body to me when you first entered the
Golden Wood.  But, you were my *friend*, Legolas.  Someone I loved
dearly and I would never have jeopardized the friendship we had.  Had
I come to you, in the wake of Aragorn and the love you shared with
him, and professed my heart and love to you, you would have thought me
false.

"No, Legolas.  I could not have told you of my love until now.  Our
lives divided when the Lord and Lady were new to Lórien and now they
have met again.  Gwilith is gone; she passed away twelve years ago." 
Haldir stood up then and covered the short distance between them.  He
gently cupped the Prince's face and smiled at him.  "Legolas, none of
it can be undone; the choices we have made are made and nothing can
change them. "

Legolas slowly shook his head.  "But now we have new choices.  We have
a second chance, after all this time."

Haldir sighed.  "Would that it were that simple."

"Why should it not be?  I love you.  Do not you love me?"

"Of course I do.  I've never stopped loving you."

"Then what else is there?"

Haldir opened his mouth, but did not speak.  He avoided Legolas'
questioning stare, hoping that the conflict in his mind did not show
on his face.  "There are yet things which we must discuss, seron
vell," he finally said.  "But it is difficult for me, and we have
time."

~~~~~

Haldir looked over the group waiting for the escort to arrive.  The
King and Queen stood in the center of the line.  Arwen held Eldarion
close to her breast while her two daughters clung to her skirts.
Beside Aragorn was Faramir, chuckling at the wide-eyed innocence of
his King's children.  Haldir felt for the Steward; he and his wife had
never conceived a child and he knew how much they had desired
children.  Instead, Eowyn and Faramir spoiled their King's children
with the love they would have spent on their own.

Elladan and Elrohir guarded their sister; the Peredhil standing tall
and proud in their silks and leather.  The twins arrived the day
before, wishing to see both their new nephew and their Grandfather.
Legolas stood beside his cousin, occasionally speaking with Elrohir
about their family, and then falling silent when he realized Haldir
was watching him.  Haldir stood at the end of the line; he clasped his
hands tightly behind his back and nervously stepped from foot to foot.
He was excited to see his family again; even a small separation, as
the past two weeks had been, had been difficult for the March Warden.

The clip-clop of hooves sounded on the stone pathway and Haldir stood
straighter, his heart beating madly in his chest.  The standards of
Rhûn Lórien and of Eryn Lasgalen fluttered in the cool morning breeze
and a wide smile broke out on Haldir's face as the Elf he had called
'father' and his siblings came into view.

Celeborn dismounted after the large party of Elves stopped, and opened
his arms to Haldir.  The Guardian came down the stairs and embraced
the Elf-lord. "Adar," he whispered.  "I have missed you."

"Child, you have been gone but a mere two weeks!"  Celeborn held
Haldir close for a moment and then pulled back.  Haldir was quickly
pulled into a second embrace by a tall, willowy She-Elf with the
palest golden hair Haldir had ever seen.

"Gelirwen," he sighed, breathing in her sweet scent.

"Ada brought Laschal with us," she whispered into his ear.  As soon as
she had said this, Haldir heard the high-pitched squeal and looked
through his niece's curtain of hair.

Rumil was taking a wriggling Elfling from Orophin's grasp high on his
horse.  The child was young and had bright, clear blue eyes and
silver-gold hair neatly braided in several plaits.  Rumil brought the
child to Arwen and Aragorn, bowing slightly.

"My Lord, my Lady, I would like to introduce my nephew, Laschal."  The
child nervously peered from behind his uncle's thigh and smiled
sweetly.

"Mae govannen," came the hesitant, small voice.

Aragorn smiled.  "Mae govannen, Master Laschal," he said warmly.

Rumil scooted Laschal over to the twins and said, "These are the
Lady's brothers, Lord Elladan and Lord Elrohir."

Laschal's head tilted slightly.  "They are the same, tôr-en-adan..."

The older Sinda chuckled and shook his head.  "Nay, Laschal.  Elladan
is an accomplished warrior and Elrohir is a most respected healer.
They may look the same, but they are very different in temperament and
personality."

Elladan crouched in front of the small child, who could be no more
than six or seven years in age, and smiled brightly.  "My brother and
I shall show you our differences later, pen-neth, if your Ada allows
us time to play with you."

Laschal giggled and nodded, looking up with admiration at the
dark-haired Elf.  Rumil finally stood before Legolas and smiled warmly
at him.  "Ernilen," he said, bowing slightly.  "Laschal, this is
Prince Legolas, Thranduil's eldest."

The Elfling let out a loud squeal and latched onto the blond Prince's
leg, much to Legolas' surprise.  Rumil let out a loud laugh and called
for the child.  When he did not release the Wood Elf, Haldir finally
stepped up.

"Laschal," he called quietly.

The child released Legolas' leg immediately and turned to run to the
March Warden.  "Ada!  Ada!  'Phin let me hold Mith's reins, Ada!"  The
small bundle of energy was swept up in strong arms and hugged close.
Haldir inhaled the clean, soft smell of his son and laughed.

"Did he now?  Have you behaved for Ata'da?"

It was then the King of Eryn Lasgalen walked up.  "He has been as well
behaved as any child can be at his age."  Thranduil's green eyes shone
with adoration for the squirming child.  The Elven-king did not seem
to notice the odd glances he was afforded, especially by his own son, 
at calling the child his grandson.

Laschal pouted slightly at Thranduil. "Ata'da!  I was good!  I was!" 
Laschal looked petulantly at his father and squirmed.  "Put me down,
Ada."  Haldir let the child fall to the ground and then dared to look
up at his friends.

All were wide-eyed with open mouths.  Rumil was still quietly
laughing.  Celeborn walked up to Arwen and embraced her, careful of
the infant in her arms.  "Arwen."

"Ata'da," she said, her confusion still evident in her tone.

Laschal rushed up and pulled on Celeborn's robes, his face full of
indignation.  "What is it, child?"

He glared at Arwen.  "*My* Ata'da."

Thranduil laughed from behind Haldir.  "He is quite possessive, Arwen.
Laschal," he said, addressing the displeased child.  "Celeborn is
Arwen's Ata'da, too."

Laschal tilted his head as he took in the tall, dark woman dressed in
deep burgundy.  "But... she's *old*, Ata'da..." he said to Thranduil,
turning curious eyes up at the blond King.  "How can he be her Ata'da,
too?"

The Sinda King picked the child up, batting his hands away from
Celeborn's robes.  "That is not a nice thing to say, pen-neth.  Arwen
is Celeborn's grandchild because her Naneth was his daughter."

Laschal seemed to think on this for a moment.  "If he is my Ata'da,
does that mean my Naneth was his daughter?"

Thranduil shook his head.  "You already know your Naneth was not
Celeborn's daughter, just as you know your Naneth was not my daughter,
but your Ada is someone we consider to be as a son to us."

He looked at Arwen as only a child could and nodded gravely.  "Then, I
s'pose I can share him with you," he said graciously.

Arwen smirked and mock bowed to Laschal.  "Thank you, my Lord, you are
most kind," she teased.

Haldir looked up to meet Legolas' shocked expression.

Legolas crossed his arms and cocked his head.  "Did you forget to
mention something, mellonen?"

*****

Haldir relaxed in the large, soft chair in Legolas' room while the
Prince reclined on a great pile of overstuffed pillows.  Haldir's son
was with the twins, being entertained by them while the King and Queen
caught up with Celeborn and Thranduil.  This gave the two Elves some
time to speak privately.

"I did not know how to tell you about him, Legolas."

"Laschal.  Why that name, Haldir?"  Legolas watched him closely and
Haldir squirmed beneath his gaze.

"I wanted him to be named for one of the greatest beings to ever
influence my life.  I wanted to remember how much I cared for a Prince
and how I wished he could have shared in the child's love."

Legolas thought for a moment.  "Did you love her?"

"As much as I could.  She was dear to me; do not doubt that.  She
never lacked for my attentions or affections and I rejoiced with her
when she found herself with child."  Haldir folded his hands in his
lap and focused his eyes on his boots.

"It seems we were all shocked that you had a son.  Did you tell no
one?"

Haldir sighed.  "Your father knew, for she was of his court.  He 
offered to be as a grandfather to Laschal after he found out the child 
only had Celeborn; Gwilith's parents had long sailed for Valinor.  I 
am a private Elf, Legolas; I did not wish to send out a birth 
announcement when the Elf who had given me such a wonderful gift had 
died before my eyes!" Haldir's tone had slowly heated, his sadness 
and guilt belying his serenity.  He should have been with her; he 
should have protected her.  The warrior had not been there when the 
beasts had preyed upon them and he had regretted it every moment 
since.

"You should have told *me*, Haldir."  Legolas' temper was flaring as
well.

The March Warden laughed bitterly and stood, pacing the small space.
"When was I to tell you I was a father, Legolas?  When you were going
through Emyn Uial or traipsing through the Shire?  Legolas, none of us
knew where you were one day from the next!  You left us all behind,
forgot us in favor of traveling for thirty years with a *Dwarf*!"

Legolas shot up to his feet.  "Gimli is my friend, Haldir.  He saw me
through the dark times, stood with me in war and in peace.  Do not
dishonor him."

"Dishonor him?  Did you know that your father believed you and the
Dwarf to be lovers?"

Legolas gasped.  "I do not see the humor in that statement, Haldir."

"It was not meant to have any.  But, I know I thought such a thing
until you sent me that letter, calling me to your side."

"You did not have to come."  Legolas' voice trembled slightly at the
implication that he had summoned the Guardian.

"Yes, I did."

They stared at each other in silence, each weighing the options
available to them.  It was Haldir who finally spoke.

"I am sorry, Legolas, that I did not tell you of Laschal.  It was
cruel and cowardly of me to simply allow you to see him unaware of who
he was to me."  Haldir lowered his eyes and let out a long breath.

He jumped slightly when Legolas' hand came to rest on his shoulder.
"He is beautiful, Haldir.  Just like his Ada."  The two Elves smiled
at one another.  "I would like time to know your son, beriadiren."

*****

In the following weeks, Haldir fell into a daily routine with his son
and his Prince.  In the mornings, Laschal would go with Rumil and
Orophin to the stables or the practice yards where the brothers would
continue the young Elf's education.  He was taught archery and riding
on alternate days; the Galadhrim brothers were loath to break the
boy's schedule.  Some days, Haldir would bring Legolas with him and
they would visit Laschal, aiding his brothers in his son's teachings. 
The child watched with wonder every time Legolas came near, almost
pleading for the Wood Elf's attention.  It was after such an afternoon
that Legolas sat Haldir down by a fountain and asked why the boy took
a stranger's word to heart.

"He is fond of you," Haldir said simply.

"'Fond' is not the term I would choose, Haldir.  I just have to think
back on how he greeted me when he first arrived and Rumil introduced
him.  Why does he treat me as he does?"  Legolas splashed his hand
into the cool, clear water, bringing the slick digits to his mouth.
Haldir inwardly trembled as he watched Legolas wet his lips and then
absently suck on his damp fingers.

"I told him of you.  Regaled him with your adventures and antics over
the centuries as he grew up.  I spoke of a fair Elven Prince, his
Ata'da's son, who captured the hearts of many Elves.  I spun tales of
your prowess with bow and knife; those were the stories that made him
choose those weapons when Rumil decided to train him.  He has
worshipped you, Legolas, if only through the words of myself,
Celeborn, and your family."  Haldir scuffed the cobbled ground with
his boot and smiled to himself.  Yes, Laschal had grown up knowing all
about the heir of Thranduil.

Legolas looked out over the city, taking in the splendor of the Anduin
and the sun making it's descent in the horizon.  Finally, he turned to
Haldir.  "I am fond of him myself," he said as he stood.  "His lessons
with Orophin should be over now.  Shall we retrieve the young Master
and see if he desires a bath?"  Legolas extended his hand to Haldir,
who laughed as he entwined his fingers with the slender, pale ones of
the Prince.

"He will not come willingly, ernilen.  I fear that for one with 
Firstborn, he detests bathing."  Haldir allowed Legolas to pull him
from his position on the edge of the fountain and into the Wood Elf's
embrace.  Haldir looked down and slowly lowered his lips to Legolas',
gifting the Prince's lush lips with a slow and lingering kiss.

"Ada!  What are you doing to Lasvell?"  The two broke apart and looked
down into the innocent sapphire eyes of Laschal.  Haldir narrowed his
eyes as his brother came into sight, snickering at the intimate
situation Haldir found himself in.

"We were just coming to find you, Lasdithen," Legolas said, using the
endearment he alone had chosen for the child.  Haldir's heart warmed
to hear the two using more familiar terms when speaking to one
another.  Laschal had been the first to choose a name to call 'his'
Legolas, and the Prince had taken it in stride and had chosen
something special for Laschal.  Now, those names were all they
referred to each other as.

The child smiled and reached up, indicating that he wished to be held.
Haldir opened his mouth to tell Laschal that he was too old to be
carted around like an infant, but Legolas released him and bent down,
taking the child into his arms.  Haldir sighed and rolled his eyes.
"You are spoiling him, mellonen."

"I have a lot of catching up to do."  He smirked and turned his
attention to the golden-haired child.  "Do I not, Lasdithen?"  Laschal
nodded enthusiastically, giggling and squirming when Legolas attacked
him with kisses.

Orophin raised an eyebrow at Haldir, nodding his head to the happy
duo.  Haldir smiled brightly in response.  For the first time in many
years, Haldir felt complete and content, joy filling his heart and
making him wish to sing.  Instead, he turned his eyes back to his
filthy son.  "Laschal, Legolas and I were coming to fetch you for a
bath before the evening meal."

Laschal shook his head, pushing away from Legolas' chest.  "No!"

Legolas held on to the boy and said sternly, "If you do not cooperate,
Laschal, then there will be no dessert for you and I will not help you
with your bow work tomorrow morning."  Laschal's eyes went wide when
Legolas used his given name.  He always knew when he was pushing
Legolas' patience when the Prince used his name.  "Now, will you come
with your Ada and I and take your bath?"

The child nodded solemnly, earning a small chuckle from the adults.
Haldir reached out and Laschal hopped effortlessly from Legolas to his
father.  "Come then, ûanen."

The three Elves and child entered the main hall, chatting while
Laschal rested his head tiredly upon his father's shoulder.  Orophin
bid them farewell shortly before reaching Haldir's chambers and
Laschal insisted that Legolas help him bathe.  Father and son headed
immediately to the bathing chamber while Legolas retrieved spare
clothes.  Haldir looked up from the nude child and smiled.  "Hannen
le, Legolas."

The Prince smiled and began to undress.  It had become habit for the
three to bathe together.  Legolas always kept a spare set of clothes
in Haldir's rooms now and Laschal was much calmer when his Lasvell was
present.  The Wood Elf entered the basin and spread his legs slightly
and motioned for Haldir to hand him the child.  "Up and in,
pen-'waur," Haldir said as he placed the soiled Elf into his friend's
arms.  Haldir slid in opposite of the pair and smiled at them.  It
looked as if he and Legolas had mated; the pale, golden child with
dark blue eyes looked as if they had both sired him.

Legolas washed Laschal's hair, tickling the boy when the suds slipped
into his eyes.  Haldir scrubbed his son's slippery body, bestowing his
own round of tickles to Laschal's tender sides.  Legolas quickly
washed himself and exited the pool while Haldir rinsed the child and
then handed the dripping body to the blond Elf, who wrapped Laschal up
in a thick towel and led him into the main bedroom.  Haldir washed his
own hair and it was when he had stood to rinse his body that he heard
a soft-spoken conversation in his bedroom.

"Lasvell?"

"Yes, Lasdithen?"

Haldir pulled the stopper from the bottom of the basin and toweled
himself off, peeking around the corner of the bathing chamber door.
Laschal sat on the edge of his bed, dressed in a long shirt and simple
leggings.  Legolas kneeled behind the child wearing only his loose
trousers, placing simple plaits in the boy's hair.  Tears stung
Haldir's eyes looking at the scene.

"Do you love me?"  Such a simple question, but one that caused
Haldir's breath to halt.

Legolas' fingers stilled on the braid he had been weaving and his eyes
became distant for a moment.  Haldir remained hidden, but watched
intently, waiting for an answer from his friend.

Legolas released the lock of hair and scooted around to look the child
in the face.  "Aye, Lasdithen, I love you very much."  Legolas kissed
Laschal's forehead and the child giggled, wrapping his chubby, short
arms around the Prince's neck, hugging him with all the ferocity one
his age and size could muster.

Haldir watched Legolas' eyes close and he returned the embrace.  After
a few moments, Legolas pulled back.  "Come now, Lasdithen.  If I do
not complete your plaits, we shall be late for dinner."  Laschal
nodded and went back to playing with the hem of his shirt while
Legolas completed the braids.

"Do you love Ada?"

Once again, Legolas' fingers stilled and he paled.  Haldir was about
to walk in, sparing Legolas the uncomfortable situation when the Wood
Elf answered the child softly.  "I love your Ada dearly, pen-neth." He
went back to the last plait he had been working on.  "He has been a
close friend for many, many years and has seen me through many dangers
and much sorrow."

"Does Ada make you happy?"  Bright eyes turned up to meet uncertain
ones.  Haldir could not move from his spot, curiosity winning over his
sense of honor.  He wanted to know where his son was going with this
conversation.

"That is an odd question, Lasdithen.  Of course your Ada makes me
happy.  Why do you ask?"

"Because, you make him happy.  He never smiled much before I saw him
here with you.  You make him smile.  Ada should smile more and...
since you make him so happy... and you make me happy... and you love
us both..."

"Come, Laschal, make your point."  Legolas had moved to sit in front
of the squirming child.

"Why don't you live with us?"

Legolas laughed gently.  "Oh, Lasdithen, I would like that very much,
but such a thing is a decision your Ada and I would have to make
together.  But, it is nice to know that, should he and I wish to alter
our living arrangements, we have your blessing."  He kissed Laschal's
cheek again and that was when Haldir chose to enter the room.

"Well, ûanen, are you ready for dinner?" he said cheerfully, tossing
his towel aside and pulling on the leggings Legolas had chosen for
him.  He was conscious of Legolas' eyes on him as he laced his
leggings and willed himself not to become aroused under that intense
gaze.

"Aye, Ada!"  The child hopped from his position next to Legolas and
skipped over to his father.  "Lasvell put plaits in my hair, just like
his!"

Legolas unfolded himself from the bed and joined father and son.  "Or,
will be just like mine as I have yet to plait my hair, Lasdithen.
Patience."

Laschal continued to chatter while the adults dressed and the stream
of words did not stop as they entered the dining room where the family
met when they wished to dine privately.  "Aewithen," Haldir teased.
"Cease your squawking!"

The group assembled chuckled and the embarrassed child ran into the
arms of Thranduil.  "Oh, be still, child," the great King soothed.
"Your Ada is right.  Hush your chattering and allow us some peace to
speak with one another."

Laschal nodded against his Ata'da's shoulder and was handed off to the
governess who fed the children at a separate table.  Haldir was
constantly aware of Legolas' presence, the small conversation between
Laschal and Legolas replaying in his mind all through dinner.

*****

Laschal had long since been put to bed and the two Elves sat silently
before the dim firelight, each lost in their own thoughts.  Haldir
sipped from is goblet and allowed his eyes to roam the figure of the
Prince.  As if sensing the elder Elf's gaze, Legolas turned and met
his gaze.

"You have been silent since the bath, meldir.  Is something ailing
you?"

Haldir looked away, clenching his jaw.  He would have to admit his
discourtesy.  "I overheard you speaking with my son after his bath."

Legolas just nodded and return to watching the flames in the hearth.

"I have never thought you to lie, ernilen, but I must ask you: did you
lie when you told him you loved him?"  Haldir sat forward in his seat,
scrutinizing the reaction of his friend.

"No, I did not lie to Laschal," he said quietly.  Eyes, almost black
in the low light, met his.  "About anything."

"I cannot deepen our relationship, meldir."

Legolas' brow furrowed.  "Why?"

Haldir sighed and sunk into the plush cushion of his chair.  "I cannot
risk harm to Laschal."

The Prince sat up straighter and glared at him.  "Hurt him?  That is a
foolish excuse, Haldir."

"Is it?"  Haldir put his glass down.  "What will you be to him,
Legolas?  His playmate?  Teasing and loving him until he is a
nuisance?  I do not wish for his heart to break when you decide you
have had enough of him."

"I love him."

"Now."

"Always."

Haldir looked away, his heart crying for him to just give in.  But,
his son meant more to him that a bedmate.  "You told me you disliked
children, Legolas.  You found that they were more trouble than you had
ever thought one so small could be.  What could have possibly changed?
Do you not love Eldarion or his sisters?"

"Of course I love them!"

Quietly, Haldir stood and walked to where the Wood Elf knelt on the
floor.  Legolas' face was flushed with embarrassment and anger.  "But,
you spoke against them, said you disliked children and thought it was
fortunate you did not favor maids and would thus, not be placed in a
position to deal with them."

"I did not mean it that way," Legolas mumbled.

"What did you mean?"

"Laschal is different."

Haldir raised an eyebrow.  "How can he be different?  He is no older
than little Merilin and much more energetic than the subdued girl who
pulls at your hair when she places ribbons in your braids."

Legolas looked away and Haldir almost missed the next words to pass
his lips.  "Because, he is your son."

The older Sinda knelt in one swift motion and capture the younger
one's face in his hands.  "Aye, he is my son and I love him more than
my own life.  He is as much my strength as he is my weakness.  I never
knew how weak I was, how strong I was, until the Healer placed the
infant in my arms.  He consumes my life, Legolas; he is all I have in
this world that is mine.  I will only share him with one who can see
that, one who feels that same duality of light and dark when looking
at his innocent face.  Do you understand, ernilen vuil?"

Legolas shook his head as much as he could in Haldir's tight grip.
Haldir released the Prince and stood.  "You should go, Legolas.  It is
late and Laschal always wakes with the dawn.  I need to rest."

As Legolas was leaving Haldir called out to him.  "When... *if* you
figure it out, Legolas, if you find you know what I am speaking of, we
will be here."

III.

The next several days were trying for the Guardian.  Legolas had begun
taking Laschal to his morning lessons with Orophin and had started
teaching archery to the young Elf himself.  He avoided Haldir if he
could.  Laschal had noticed the change between his idol and his father
and his temperament reflected the change in his home life.  Laschal 
felt that Haldir had pushed Legolas away from them and the child would 
spend hours pouting. Evenings with his son were becoming unbearable.  
Baths were struggles, bedtime was a nightmare, and Laschal would go 
hours without uttering a single word to his beloved father.  Haldir 
found himself avoiding Laschal, permitting Legolas to care for the 
child.

After two weeks of this new routine, Haldir found himself alone in
suite he shared with his son.  Laschal was late for his bath, the 
evening meal long since finished.  As the night wore on, the Guardian 
became increasingly worried.  When Ithil had risen high into the dark 
night sky, Haldir decided to see if Legolas knew where his son was.  
He fought the panic in his heart; he would find his son.

He navigated the halls easily, swiftly making his way to the Prince's
chambers.  Haldir let himself into the darkened room and walked to the
bedside.  Legolas lay on his side, curled around the sleeping form of
Laschal, the boy's face tucked safely under the Wood Elf's chin. Their
eyes were vacant with reverie; Legolas was dressed simply in his
sleeping trousers while Laschal was still in his daily clothing.
Haldir's lips set into a frown, his displeasure at the situation
growing steadily.

Haldir extricated his son from Legolas' bed and grip, returning
silently to their chambers.  He stripped the sleepy Laschal and tucked
him into the child's bed.  Haldir placed a loving kiss on his son's
warm brow and watched the deep blue eyes quickly return to reverie. He
sighed, touching the blond locks one last time, and left their rooms. 
Haldir went back to Legolas' chambers and closed the door behind him.

"Legolas," he snapped.

Legolas became aware instantly and looked to the empty space next to
him.  "Laschal..." he began, his gaze settling on the unhappy visage
of his friend.

"Is in his own room, where he should have been hours ago."  Haldir
glared at Legolas.

The blond Elf rose from the bed, his face showing his puzzlement.
"Haldir, why are you angry?"

"You did not inform me Laschal would be staying with you this night. I
remained in our rooms, worrying about his well-being."

Legolas shook his head.  "I did not intend for him to remain with me,
meldir.  I just lost track of the passing of time..."  Legolas trailed
off as he seemed to realize his state of dress and he quickly pulled
on his silk robe, covering his naked torso.

Haldir snorted at the display of modesty.  "But a month ago, ernilen,
you were most eager to fall into my bed.  Now you cover yourself like
a shy maid."

"A month ago I did not know of your lack of trust in me.  Why would I
desire to be bedded by one who does not trust me with his son?"
Legolas hissed.

"I do trust you."

Legolas closed the space between them, standing toe to toe with the
older Elf.  "If you trusted me, my Lord Guardian, you would not be
here."

"He did not come home, Legolas."

"But you knew he was with me."

They glared at each other in strained silence.  They both turned at
the same time when they heard a strangled sob from the doorway.
Laschal stood, swiping at eyes that kept overflowing with tears.  He
clutched the stuffed horse Legolas had given him shortly after his 
arrival.  The child was the epitome of misery.

"Why are you yelling?!" he cried.  "Ada, you never yell."  More tears,
another sob.  "I asked Lasvell to sing me a song.  I fell asleep.  It
wasn't his fault, Ada..."

Legolas pushed past Haldir and fell to the floor before the child, 
pulling Laschal into his lap.  He hugged the young Elf to him 
closely, settling the sobbing child in his arms.  "Hush, Lasdithen.  
Your Ada was terribly worried about you," he soothed.  "I should have 
sent word that you were with me."

Laschal looked up with swimming eyes.  "But, he shouldn't be mad at
you!"

The Prince wiped away the child's tears with a corner of his robe and
kissed a still-damp cheek.  "Then who should your Ada be angry with?"

"Me--" he began, then stopped himself.

Haldir moved from his spot and knelt next to the couple, brushing
stray locks back from the child's damp forehead.  "Do not worry so
over what happens between Legolas and I, îon.  Those things should not
concern you."

Laschal pulled himself from Haldir's reach and wrapped his small arms
around Legolas' neck, holding the Elf in a fierce embrace.  "Don'
touch me!  You make Lasvell not love me!" he cried.

"What do you mean, îon?" he asked, looking at Legolas angrily.  "What
has his Highness said to you?"

Legolas stiffened and spoke fiercely at Haldir.  "I spoke naught of 
our falling out, Elf."

"Then why would he think such a thing of his father?!" Haldir
bellowed.

Laschal let out a keening wail and his little body trembled in
Legolas' grip.

"Stop this yelling, Haldir," the Prince ordered.  Legolas began
rubbing small circles on the child's heaving back, whispering words of
nonsense to the boy.

Haldir's temper finally overrode any sense of sanity he had and he
stood abruptly.  His eyes alight with fury, he glared at the Wood Elf
as he stormed from the room.

*****

Haldir had just changed into his sleeping clothes when his door flew
open.  He faced Legolas' rage with his own dispassion.  "What are you
doing here, Legolas?"  The Guardian turned from the panting figure in
his doorway and continued to turn down his bed.

"And you were afraid *I* would hurt your child?  Just what is it you 
think you are doing, Haldir?"  Legolas rested his hands on his hips 
and stared down his friend.

"I am afraid, Legolas, I am not clear on what it is you are referring
to."  Haldir narrowed his eyes, silently challenging the Prince.

Legolas stalked over to Haldir and snarled.  "You left your son,
sobbing, on my floor.  What kind of parenting is that?!"

Haldir smiled a vicious smile.  "You wished for me to trust you,
meldir.  So, I trusted you."

"Orc shite!" Legolas spat.  Haldir actually stepped back from the
angry Elf, his surprise at the language the Prince had chosen to use 
written clearly on his face.  Legolas did not seem to notice this 
shock, as he continued to rant at the Guardian.  "For all your high 
and mighty talk of the responsibility of being a parent, Haldir..."

Haldir could do nothing but stare at the livid Wood Elf, feeling
cornered by the anger rolling off his friend.  He could feel his body
tighten with the need to flee from the situation, not having anything
to defend his actions.

"I am going to go back to my room and comfort your son.  Then, I plan
on bathing him and making him laugh at least *once* before I put him
to bed.  You may collect him in the morning."  Legolas turned on his
heel and walked toward the door.  "Of course," he called back.  "He
may not wish to go anywhere with the Elf he witnessed tonight."

Haldir jumped slightly when the door slammed shut with more force than
necessary.  He slumped to the bed and hung his head in shame.  Haldir
felt drained from the evening's drama.  Legolas was right; Haldir
should not have stormed from the room when Laschal needed him most. It
had simply stung his pride, which was considerable, to have his son
rush to his friend for comfort.  He was Laschal's father, not
Legolas...

But, he thought to himself, didn't Legolas do *exactly* what Haldir
had hoped he would?  Didn't Legolas love and care for the child as if
he had sired him himself?

*****

He had been staring at the ceiling all through the night; Haldir had
not been able to slip into reverie and he refused to get out of bed.  
He had watched the room lighten as night bled into day.  His heart 
pulled in his chest.  Laschal would have been jumping on the bed, 
demanding his father wake up and play with him before they dressed 
and went to break their fast.  Haldir was sure that his son wasn't 
cheerfully playing with Legolas, either.  A sharp knock at his door 
brought him back from his thoughts.

Haldir stood up and slipped on his robe and pulled his hair back into
a single plait.  When he opened the door he knew the figure glaring at
him saw his surprise.

"Arwen?"

The Queen of Gondor ignored her friend's state of undress and walked
into the bedchamber.  "Haldir, I believe you and I should speak."

Haldir shook his head as he closed the door.  "My Lady, has our
disharmony reached even your ears?"

Arwen smiled.  "Nay, Haldir.  No one has to speak to me about your
domestic... troubles."  She winked at him.  "I have my Ata'na's eyes,
meldir."

The Guardian chuckled.  "Arwen..."

"Haldir," she began, sitting herself on the low divan near one of the
windows.  "Laschal is unhappy."

"I have taken notice of this."

"Legolas is unhappy."

"I have noticed that, as well."

Arwen let out a frustrated sigh.  "You are not happy, either, my
Lord."

Haldir looked out the window behind the stately Queen.  "He deserves
to be happy."

"Who?  Laschal or Legolas?"

He looked down at her and smiled sadly.  "Both of them, gwathel."

"So make them happy, gwador.  It is in your power to do so, no one
else's."  Her eyes twinkled with hidden mirth.

"You are trouble, Arwen," he chuckled.  Looking back over the scene
outside his window, Haldir sighed.  "I am just unsure how I am to make
them happy.  Laschal seemed happy before Legolas, but, Arwen," he
turned wide eyes to her.  "His smile is so much brighter, his laughter
louder.  He runs to Legolas with his scrapes and to ask for another
dessert.  He cuddles in Legolas' arms to fall asleep and allows him to
comb out his hair without argument.  I feel... redundant, 
unnecessary."

"In time, Haldir, your son will want his Ada again.  Legolas is new to
him and becomes fascinated by things that you find commonplace.  To
you, putting Laschal to bed is a daily chore.  It is something you
have been doing since he was but a babe.  You do not do it with any
less love," she said, holding up her hand to stop his protests.  "But,
to Legolas, the night time ritual is new and exciting.  He relishes
the experience and engrosses himself completely.  Just as, I am sure,
you did when Laschal was younger.  It is the same for Aragorn and I.
The new child comes into the family and the attention is spent on it,
not the existing children.  Only, my daughters cannot understand as
you can.  They both love you still, but they also love one another and
that love is new and vibrant to them."

Haldir remained quiet, not knowing what response Arwen was hoping for.
Instead of staring at him with expectation, she quietly laughed and
stood.  "My stoic Guardian."  She kissed his cheek, leaving a smudge
of pink on his pale skin.  He could smell the sharp scent of cinnamon
hanging in her hair and was swept back on a wave of memory, of times
long passed.  "Laschal is spending the day with my Ladies and I.
Merilin is quite fond of him."

She left the room in a flurry of ribbons and pale green silk.  She was
giving him a day alone with Legolas, if he chose to take it.

*****

"I received your summons, my Lord."

Haldir stood staring at Legolas for a moment before he realized what
the Prince had said.  "I did not summon you, my Liege."

Legolas cocked his head to the side, looking at Haldir suspiciously.
"One of Arwen's ladies delivered the message to me."

Haldir chuckled.  "Arwen."  He shook his head, his eyes sparkling like
onyx as he waved Legolas into the room.  "Aragorn needs to find our
gwathel a hobby."

"Oh?" he asked, not understanding the joke.

"Arwen came to my rooms this morning and urged me to speak with you.
She obviously did not have enough faith in my honor and sent one of
her ladies to ensure you and I did meet this day."  Haldir sat himself
down on the divan Arwen had occupied that morning and offered the spot
next to him to Legolas.

Legolas joined in the laughter, sitting himself down next to his
friend.  "Aye.  I do not think I much like being her pet project for
her spare time.  She is the one who initially pushed me in your
direction after I returned to Minas Tirith.  She told me of an Elf who
had loved me for many years and who had suffered as I did."  He turned
to Haldir, his eyes bright with cheer.  "And, of course, you sprung
into my thoughts!"

Haldir returned the tease.  "You do me too much honor, meldir."

They stared at one another for a few moments, basking in the gentle
atmosphere of friendship.  Haldir raised his hand to Legolas' face and
brushed his thumb over the apple of the Prince's cheek.  He softly
spoke.  "I am sorry, melethen."

Legolas kissed Haldir's palm, sending a sharp wave of desire through
the Guardian.  "I know."

Haldir looked away from the open, loving eyes, and sighed. "Legolas--"

"Haldir," the Wood Elf interrupted.  "I love..."  Legolas recaptured
Haldir's gaze.  "I love your son."

"I know."  They both smiled.  Haldir took both of Legolas' hands in
his own and entwined their fingers.  "Do you know why I named him
Laschal, Legolas?"

"You said you wanted to always be reminded of the Prince who had
touched your heart and how you desired him to share in the child's
love."

Haldir nodded.  "My ultimate desire, Legolas, when his mother passed
away, was to raise him with you.  He was but an infant, and the love I
felt within my breast was so overwhelming.  I wanted to share it with
you, to share him with you.  He was my hidden leaf, just as you are my
green leaf."  Haldir brought one of Legolas' pale, cool hands to his
lips.  "Yet, when I could share him with you, and I discovered how 
much he adored you, jealousy crept in.  I no longer wanted to share 
him with anyone.  Even you."  He looked up into Legolas' peaceful 
face.

"No dirnin na van iestach," Legolas whispered.

The elder Elf chuckled.  "I want you to be a part of his life,
Legolas."  Haldir brought his lips to Legolas, letting his next words
caress the delicate pink bow of Legolas' mouth.  "I want you to be a
part of *my* life."

In answer to the statement, Legolas pulled his hands from Haldir's
grip and wrapped them around the Guardian's neck, pulling him into a
deep, searing kiss.  Haldir opened his mouth to Legolas' questing
tongue and slid his hands under the Prince's shirt.  Legolas released
his lips and panted, "I thought you would never ask!"

Haldir laughed and pushed Legolas back against the cushions, covering
the Wood Elf's body with his own and devouring his mouth once more.
The two Elves remained locked in a passionate kiss, tasting each other
thoroughly for the first time in their long lives.  The kiss was so
different from any other they had shared, and Haldir could not get
enough of the soft sighs he could illicit from the Prince with a nip
on the younger Elf's lower lip.  When their lungs screamed for breath,
Haldir placed tiny butterfly kisses along Legolas' cheeks and
forehead.

"Melon le, ernilen," he whispered.

"Melon le, beriadiren," was the breathless reply.  "Haust," Legolas
commanded and Haldir felt slightly faint.  It was finally going to
happen, and once it did, he could not undo the act.  After only a
moment's hesitation, Haldir nodded and pulled Legolas off the divan
with him and led the flushed Prince to the bed.

Haldir was determined to make the day last, to love the Prince as
completely as he could.  He slowly unlaced the shirt Legolas wore and
slipped it off the lithe frame.  He ran his hands lightly over the
firm muscles of Legolas' chest, his eyes watching the Wood Elf's face
intently.  Legolas' eyes darkened and his mouth parted invitingly as
Haldir's hands touched the smooth flesh of his stomach and made their
way around his back.  "Manen bain, ernilen vuil," he whispered and
leaned in to claim the swollen lips before him once again.

Legolas arched into him, sliding his tongue between Haldir's lips and
pressing his arousal against Haldir's.  It was Haldir's turn to groan
and Legolas eagerly consumed the needy sounds slipping from the
Guardian's mouth.  The Prince's deft fingers easily removed the
offending fabric that kept their bare flesh from touching and he
tossed the slip of silk from Haldir's shoulders.  Legolas moved from
Haldir's mouth down his neck and gently nipped at the tender skin.
Haldir pressed their bodies closer, letting his head fall back.  His
blood felt like fire within him and he ached to feel all his lover had
to offer.

Haldir felt Legolas begin to untie his leggings, the cool hands
ghosting over his heated flesh.  "Legolas," he panted.  Haldir felt
Legolas smile against his neck and then the Prince's mouth was
relentlessly sucking the flesh, scraping his teeth over the skin and
Haldir clenched his hands tight around Legolas' body.  The pleasure
blurred with pain and Haldir was lost to the Prince's touch.  When 
Legolas let go of him, Haldir knew he now wore the dark mark of the 
Eryn Lasgalen Elf.  He opened his eyes and saw the look of triumph in 
the dark depths of Legolas' indigo eyes.  "Mine."  Haldir trembled 
when he heard the possessive quality Legolas' voice had taken.

Legolas slid Haldir's breeches down his body and the Guardian stepped
out of them.  He stood nude before the Prince, his face flushing under
Legolas' scrutiny.  He had never felt insecure with a bed partner
before, but at that moment, Haldir's heart sped with nervousness.  He
was aware of how hard his cock had become and it pulsed with each
heartbeat.  Legolas brought his eyes up to Haldir's face and smiled
lovingly at him.  Haldir knelt before Legolas and removed the Prince's
boots, followed by the last piece of clothing separating them -- the
Wood Elf's leggings.

Haldir's breath hitched in his throat when he released Legolas'
arousal and could not stop himself from reaching out with the tip of
his tongue.  He gently tasted the Prince, smiling around the head of
Legolas' desire when the Prince let out a low whimper and gripped the
bedpost.  Haldir pulled back and finished removing the leggings.  When
they were both nude, Legolas sat on his knees in the center of the bed
and looked expectantly at the Guardian.  Haldir eagerly joined him,
but was unprepared when Legolas laid him down beneath his slender
archer's body.

"I have been fantasizing about this moment for more centuries than I 
care to count, beriadiren.  I have every intention of enjoying this 
time to the fullest."  Legolas smirked and recaptured Haldir's mouth.

Haldir felt himself squirm beneath Legolas touch, his skin tingling
wherever the Wood Elf's fingers brushed.  When Legolas released his
bruised and sore lips, Haldir could do nothing but gasp.  A hot trail
of kisses was left from his chin to his chest where Legolas delighted
in nipping and suckling on his nipples until they were hard and
aching, red and slick with the Prince's tongue.  "Legolas... Iquista,
do not torment me so.  I have waited just as long, melethron... I do
not wish to wait any longer."

Legolas looked up from the indent in Haldir's stomach and smirked.
"And they say patience comes with age."

"To Morgoth's Fires with patience!"  Haldir bucked up against Legolas'
chest, hissing with pleasure when his length met with some friction.
"Anrion le... si..."

The Prince ignored his pleas and continued in his exploration of
Haldir's body.  He dipped his tongue into the indent of his stomach
and teased another cry of need from Haldir.  He ignored Haldir's
leaking arousal and nuzzled the soft skin in the crease of his thigh.
"Iquista!" Haldir begged, spreading his legs in a blatant invitation.

Legolas chuckled.  "It seems you are acquainted with this activity,
melethen."  The Prince nipped at the tender insides of Haldir's thigh
and blew cool breath on the damp trail he left.

"It has been over three centuries since I engaged myself with another
male, Legolas," Haldir said distractedly.  "Though, I am not the one
usually so eager to be taken."  He met Legolas' passion-heavy eyes and
smiled seductively.  "The things you do to me, ernilen."

Haldir watched as Legolas leaned down and cleaned his lower belly and
the tip of his shaft of the sticky, clear fluids.  "Be 'lî," Legolas
murmured.

"Si!" Haldir could see from Legolas' tense body that he was close to
giving in to the Guardian's demands.  "We have so much time,
melethron...  Now, take me."

Legolas smiled.  "Very well.  Do you have anything we can use?"

Haldir nodded and pointed to the wardrobe.  "In there, second shelf, a
small blue tin."

Legolas retrieved the container and came back.  "Since it has been a
while for you, pen-vuil, it would be best for you to rest on your
hands and knees."  Legolas leaned in to give Haldir a quick kiss
before playfully smacking his hip.  "Over, o impatient one!"

The Guardian chuckled and rolled over, lifting himself up and
presenting himself to the Prince.  He felt the now warm, dry hands
softly caress his back and run over the curve of his buttocks.  He
shivered with barely restrained need and Legolas leaned over, gently
putting his weight on Haldir.  The hot moisture of Legolas' mouth over
the elder Elf's ear caused a ragged moan to slip from his lips and the
Wood Elf spoke softly to him.  "I am going to take you now, Haldir o
Rhûn Lórien.  I am going to make you cry out my name."  Haldir's cock
throbbed painfully with each inflaming word.  "But, you are *not* to
find your release until I say, do you understand me, beriadir?"

Haldir could barely nod his head; all he wanted was to feel Legolas
claim him.  He heard a satisfied grunt and Legolas' weight was
lessened as the Prince knelt between his spread thighs.  The sharp
scent of lemon and rosemary assailed his senses and Haldir knew
Legolas had opened the small jar.  It contained a salve for sore
muscles, but was different than most used for that purpose -- there
were no numbing agents in this suspension.  It would, he hoped,
prevent too sore a backside when they were through with their
lovemaking.  After a few tense moments, Haldir felt slick fingers
stroking the tight opening to his body.  He could not stop himself
from tensing when one of those long, powerful fingers slid slowly
passed the ring of tight muscle.

The Guardian let out a pained hiss and sent up a silent prayer of
gratitude when Legolas withdrew the digit and returned with more
lubricant.  The penetration was smoother this time and Haldir felt his
body relax and an intense wash of pleasure flow through him.  Legolas
quickly added a second finger to the first, and then a third.  The
Prince spent quite some time preparing the Guardian, stroking and
stretching his passage.  Finally, the fingers were removed and Haldir
felt the pressure of a much thicker piece of flesh.

Legolas entered Haldir in one thrust, burying himself deep within the
Grey-Elf.  Haldir let out a loud cry, throwing his head back as
Legolas filled him.  They both remained still until Haldir's tense
muscles went lax.  Legolas set a languid pace, withdrawing and
plunging back into the warmth of Haldir's body.  The Guardian clenched
the bed sheets, resisting the need to stroke himself to completion.
Legolas stroked deep within him and Haldir soon found himself rocking
back to meet the long thrusts and moaning Legolas' name as if it were
a mantra.

It did not take long, however, for Legolas' self-control to crumble.
Haldir let loose a strangled moan when the Elf behind him increased
his movements, driving the Prince closer to orgasm.  Haldir clenched
his muscles around Legolas' member and smiled when Legolas let out a
passionate cry, his movements becoming frantic.  Legolas' grip on
Haldir's hips tightened, holding Haldir still against him and he
spilled himself in the depths of his lover's body.

Haldir remained in his position, panting from his exertions, his body
taut as a bowstring.  Legolas carefully moved from behind Haldir, the
elder Elf immediately missing the intimate connection of having
Legolas within him.  He let his displeasure show with a desperate
whimper which was met with a tired chuckle.  "So impatient," Legolas
said, his breath still short.  "Roll over, melethron."

Haldir did as he was commanded, amazed at how easy he submitted to the
Prince's desires.  His arousal jutted from between his thighs, the
head slick and dark rose with restrained want.  "Legolas..." he began,
but was silenced with a deep, sweeping kiss.  He smelled the salve
again and lost himself in Legolas' slick, tight fist.  His eyes flew
open when Legolas released him.  Haldir was about to protest, call
Legolas cruel, when the Prince quickly mounted him, impaling himself
on Haldir's cock.

"Ai!  Haldir, you are much thicker than I expected," Legolas panted.
Haldir could not make a coherent response, his whole body focused on
that tight, hot, slippery channel that gripped his length.  When
Legolas began to move, raising and lowering himself, Haldir called the
Elf-prince's name, just as Legolas had predicted.  He came back to
himself long enough to realize Legolas was once again aroused, and he
gripped the Prince's shaft in his hand, urging him to increase his
speed as he fisted the sensitive flesh mercilessly.

Haldir had not had an orgasm in some time, usually too tired by the
end of his day to manually bring himself to completion.  Being buried
inside Legolas brought his release much faster than he would have
liked; he released himself within the Prince's contracting passage,
only half-aware of the warmth dripping down his hand as Legolas found
his second orgasm of the day.  Haldir felt as if his own orgasm lasted
longer than any he had had before, emptying him of seed and energy.  
When Haldir's body had ceased bucking under the Wood Elf, Legolas 
gingerly shifted from atop his lover and sought a cloth.  He lovingly 
cleaned them both of their fluids and sighed contentedly.

Legolas curled up into Haldir's embrace, pulling up the soft cotton
sheet to cover their heated bodies.  "Melon le, Haldir," he whispered
against the damp locks at Haldir's temple.

The Guardian held Legolas close to him, feeling the elusive reverie
drawing him in.  He smiled and kissed the golden crown of Legolas'
head.  "Melon le, pen-vaelui," he murmured as his eyes went vacant
with exhaustion.

*****

The sudden impact shook Haldir back into full awareness.  He looked up
into the grinning face of his son, who had leaped onto the bed.  The
expression was infectious, and Haldir felt his own lips tugged into an
answering smile as he wrapped his arms around Laschal and hugged him
tightly.

"I'm so glad that you and Lasvell made up, Ada!" the young Elf 
beamed, kissing Haldir sloppily on the cheek.

"So am I, îon.  So am I," Haldir replied softly, putting his finger to 
his lips and pointing to the still-slumbering form of Legolas.

Laschal hugged his father again and nodded.  He looked at Legolas,
confusion suddenly marring the angelic face, and he looked up at
Haldir.  "Ada?" the child began in a hushed tone.  "How come you and
Lasvell are naked?"

Haldir's eyes went wide, and the tips of his ears began to redden. The
Sinda coughed in embarrassment, then smiled conspiratorially. "Why
don't you ask Lasvell when he wakes up?"

End "The Wake of a Mistake"

Elvish/English: 
*Laschal : Hidden Leaf (This is a combination of
Legolas' and Haldir's names: Hall: "hidden" and Lass: "leaf")
*Mellonen : My Friend 
*Telain : Plural form of 'talan' 
*Idho mae, ernilen. : Rest well, my Prince. 
*Tirathon le ned i aur. : I will see you in the morning. 
*Echuir : The time of 'stirring' between winter and spring 
*Beriadiren : My Guardian 
*Ernil vain : Fair Prince
*Beriadir : Guardian 
*Ernilen : My Prince 
*Pen-vuil : Dear one
*Beriadirech : Your Guardian 
*Ernilech : Your Prince 
*Melon le, beriadiren. Iston hen. : I love you, my Guardian.  I know 
this. 
*Ae avochebin le be velethronen, hebithon le be vellonen. : If I 
cannot keep you as my lover, I will keep you as my friend. 
*Pen-dithen : Little one 
*Ernilen vuil : My dear Prince 
*Muindor : Brother by blood
*Tôr-en-adan : Brother of my father (Uncle) 
*Lasvell : Strong leaf (endearment) 
*Lasdithen : Little leaf (endearment) 
*Uanen : My monster
*Pen-'waur : Dirty one 
*Aewithen : Little bird 
*Gwathel : Sworn sister
*No dirnin na van iestach. : Be guarded with what you wish. 
*Melethen : My love 
*Haust : Bed 
*Melon le: I love you 
*Manen bain : How beautiful 
*Iquista : Please (Quenya) 
*Anrion : I desire. 
*Si : Now 
*Be 'lî. : Like honey. 
*Rhûn Lórien : East Lórien