Title: Tortuous Paths (1/?)

Author: Haz 

Author email: hazandcas@yahoo.com

Rating: PG-13 for this part

Genre/ Warning: slash, incest, hurt/comfort, angst, romance, (possibly 
NCS and torture later on, not all at the same time of course. Still anyone 
here ?

Pairings: Legolas/Haldir (overall), Haldir/Orophin in this part. 

Summary: very difficult to provide a summary, as I plan to write a very 
long story and might change the course of events according to the wishes 
and suggestions of the readers. (So you decide !). At the beginning, the 
story is set in Lorien. Haldir returns home after some mysterious events 
kept him away for quite a long time.

Disclaimer: Much as I hate to admit it, none of these gorgeous characters 
are mine. Not even sexy Haldir. They are creations of J.R.R. Tolkien 
and/or Peter Jackson. Don't sue, no money made !

Authors Note : this is my first LOTR fic AND slash fic. Also I am not a 
native speaker. If you don't run away from your computer at the horror, I 
hope you'll enjoy the story. Any comments and suggestions will be more 
than welcome (I don't really feel like asking my family their opinion on 
my work…). Originally written for the Haldir-Lives challenge.

Beta-ed by Tessy: Thanks! 
**

It was very much unexpected, the storm which cracked over Imladris as 
the sun was casting its last rays on the Elven city. All the more unexpected 
as it had not been raining for weeks. It was the beginning of Autumn, and 
while many leaves had already taken on their golden garments, the air 
seemed as hot as it had been during the long summer days. 
 
Strikingly enough, the sudden change in the weather coincided with 
another event. Yet, unlike the former, it remained completely unnoticed by 
most of the inhabitants, busy as they were gathering and sheltering all the 
items which had been taken outside during the warm afternoon. 
 
The first bolt of thunder rumbled just as one tall, blond elf finished 
fastening the buckles of his saddlebag and, with one swift move, 
gracefully settled himself on the back of a gray mare. For a few seconds 
he let his gaze wander over the top windows of Lord Elrond's palace, a 
hint of pain clearly visible in his dark blue eyes. Then his face became 
unreadable again as he slowly lead the mare towards the gates of the city. 
As he eventually passed them without casting a single glance backwards, 
the downpour began.Heading eastwards, the blond rider urged his horse 
into a swifter pace, the rain trickling down his face providentially melting 
with the tears he had managed to hold back until then.
 
Chapter 1 : Year 2968 of the Third Age
 
If any sign of sadness had ever marred the strong, yet beautiful features of 
Haldir of Lorien, none was visible when he eventually entered the Golden 
Wood after his long journey on horseback. The old forest was exactly as 
he remembered : after almost five centuries, he could almost trace in his 
mind every path, every tree, and might even be able to notice if one bough 
had been cut off. Haldir inhaled deeply, and the scent of the millennia-
aged mallorn trees around him was the scent of home. Although he should 
have been happy in these circumstances, Haldir merely felt relieved ; tired, 
yet relieved, and confident in the fact that if there ever were a single place 
in Middle Earth where he could tend to his wounds, it would surely be this 
one. 
 
Fluttering leaves, a wisp of air and all of a sudden five warriors were 
standing around the newcomer and his mount, aiming their silver-tipped 
arrows at him. Stern faces, two of which immediately melted into a radiant 
smile as they recognized the former March Warden of Lothlorien. Rúmil, 
Haldir's youngest brother, and Elrond's son Elladan, his inseparable 
companion when they happened to meet in Lorien, literally threw 
themselves at the weary rider and almost cast him down in the process – a 
total loss of composure which 
was very uncommon among the Elven people. Finally regaining his 
balance, Haldir was grabbed by two strong pairs of arms as Rúmil and 
Elladan, both laughing and crying at the same time, hugged him as their 
lives depended on it.  
 
« Gods ! Haldir… it's so good to see you… » Rúmil whispered in his 
brother's ear. « We had almost given up hope… » 
 
Haldir gently stepped back and gave both Elves the warmest smile he 
could manage, while silently beckoning to the other warriors, who had by 
then lowered their bows and were stealthily retreating into the trees so as 
to give them privacy. 
 
Haldir's voice came out calm and soft : 
 
« It has been a very long time indeed, though very short in Elven terms…. 
Perhaps it is so when you don't know if you'll ever get to see the ones you 
love again. I missed you dearly, my friends ». 
 
« My father sent us a message three months ago that you had safely 
arrived at Imladris. We could not believe it was true… after all this time" 
– Elladan went on. « We would have gone to meet you there, but we 
thought you would come right back… ». The raven-haired Elf's voice held 
a questioning tone 
 
« I had some matters to take care of ». 
 
Haldir was not a man of many words in general, and the way in which he 
had pronounced the last sentence clearly showed that he did not want to 
dwell on the subject. So the question which was lingering in Rúmil's mind 
died in his mouth before he could utter it. Haldir had been expecting it 
however, and feared he would soon have to give answers. But for the 
moment he was just glad it had been postponed, at least for a little while, 
and secretly thanked his brother for not being too intrusive. There would 
be time for explanations later, and also time to draw some comfort from 
those dear to him. At least he hoped so. 
 
Feeling his brother's slight uneasiness, Haldir gave Rúmil's hand a warm 
squeeze. « Later, pen-neth… ». Then the three Elves headed off towards 
Caras Galadhon, the realm of Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel, Haldir´s 
birthplace. 
 
« Where is Orophin ? » Haldir suddenly asked. 
 
«Our brother has gone with Elrohir and a few other Galadhrims to hunt 
some restless Orcs on the Northern Borders » Rúmil answered. « They 
should be back in a few days ». Rúmil paused. « Orophin will be glad to 
see you… He has been most affected by your…disappearance". 
 
Haldir remained silent and merely smiled. Caras Galadhon was now 
showing in the distance, and the sight of the silver city was like a soothing 
balm to his soul. 
 
 
*******************************************************
Sitting cross-legged on the floor of his talan, Haldir was busy sharpening 
the blade of his old sword. He knew he was no longer the March Warden, 
but he was still part of the Lorien Guard in his heart and trusted he would 
eventually regain its former position amongst the Elven warriors, given 
time. 
 
Given time. .. Haldir let his thoughts wander while his hands were tending 
to the weapons, a task they had been used to doing for centuries. He had 
heard the very words from the mouth of the Lady Galadriel herself. She 
and the Lord Celeborn had summoned him the day after his arrival in 
Lorien, and the three of them had spent the whole afternoon speaking of 
what had happened, and what would. At first Haldir had felt reluctant to 
do so, but he knew he could not hide anything from the piercing gaze and 
loving hearts of his beloved 
sovereigns. With one look the lady had understood that the scars which 
ran across Haldir´s body were nothing in comparison with the ones he 
bore deep inside his heart, and that they would need time to heal, if they 
ever were to. But there was still hope, she had whispered in his head, and 
peace and happiness would eventually worm their way again into Haldir´s 
soul, even though he found it hard to believe. 
 
As for Lord Celeborn, he had kindly told Haldir, whom he loved like a 
son, that he wanted him to become again his leading captain as soon as 
possible, and had granted him the use of his former talan as a token of 
trust, which explained why he was about to spend the night there instead 
of in the tree house he still shared with his brothers while in the city. 
 
Haldir was actually anxious to resume fighting with his fellow comrades 
in arms and sincerely hoped that the training he was to join on the 
following day would keep his mind away from dark thoughts and 
memories. Given time… with these words full of hope lingering in his 
mind Haldir stood up, grasping his sword with both hands and set about 
striking slow and precise blows around him, the moonlight enhancing the 
well defined muscles of his bare chest and arms. The Galadhrim began to 
feel a surge of power inside of his body as the warrior in him gradually 
took precedence over the mere Elf. 
 
Then he suddenly froze, his Elven hearing warning him that someone was 
approaching his talan, and soon the impression was confirmed by the 
sound of light steps on the ladder rungs. Haldir stood on guard, slightly 
raising his sword, though he should have known that he was safe in the 
Golden Wood. He immediately lowered it when he recognized his 
unexpected guest. 
 
« Orophin… » Haldir whispered 
 
Still wearing his fighting garments, his younger brother was standing still 
on the edge of the talan, as if scared to take one single step forward, his 
delicate features showing surprise and incredulity. By the moment Haldir 
opened his mouth to invite him in, Orophin had thrown himself into his 
brother's arms, clinging to him as strongly as he could, as if to make sure 
that it was he, Haldir, standing in front of him and not a mere illusion. 
Haldir let his sword fall to the ground and returned the embrace, tangling 
his fingers into Orophin's silvery hair and gently caressing the nape of his 
neck. They stood like this for a few minutes without saying a word, when 
Haldir noticed a wetness on his cheek which was not coming from his own 
eyes. 
 
« Hush, my dearest » he gently whispered. 
 
Taking Haldir's hands into his, Orophin let go of him and his jade-green 
eyes locked with the other Elf's dark blue as he began speaking. 
« Haldir… I cannot believe it. I dare not believe that you are here in front 
of me… » 
 
« So it is my beloved brother. I am back at last ». 
 
Orophin flung himself into Haldir's arms again and started crying in 
earnest, his words interrupted by heartbreaking sobs. 
« Gods, Haldir ! I thought you were dead. I refused to believe it but then… 
we knew nothing of what had happened to you and Legolas… » 
 
Haldir flinched when Orophin mentioned the name, the familiar sting in 
his heart as strong as always, but he quickly dismissed it as he tried to 
focus on his brother's pained voice. 
 
« I prayed to the Valar day and night that somehow you would come back 
to us, I would have done anything to rescue you but we had no clue as to 
where you were. We thought you had been slain by Orcs or something. 
Such a long time without news… » 
 
Haldir knew not how to comfort his brother with words, so he merely held 
Orophin and laid gentle kisses on the Elf's cheek. 
« Haldir » Orophin whispered again « I thought I would never lay my eyes 
on your beautiful face again, that I would never hear your laughter… 
never feel your hands on my body anymore… » 
 
Haldir was startled at the words. It had been centuries since he had last 
woken up in the morning with Orophin's head cradled against his shoulder 
after a night of kisses and caresses. Such sensuous relationships between 
brothers were not uncommon among the Elves, especially when they came 
of age almost at the same time; yet, they never lasted for a very long time. 
In any case, siblings rarely mated, neither physically nor emotionally, and 
for Haldir and Orophin things had not been otherwise. 
 
Haldir suddenly understood that for his brother to utter such words, he 
most certainly found himself in a state of deep shock, for he knew that his 
heart was elsewhere - the same as was his, he bitterly thought. Haldir was 
going to say something, though he did not know exactly what, when he 
noticed that his brother's touch had changed. Orophin's fingers had once 
again entwined with his, and he was now placing kisses behind Haldir's 
ear, gently tickling it, in a way which was not as brotherly as it had been a 
few minutes ago. 
 
« Haldir… please… » Orophin breathed « let me stay with you tonight… 
» 
 
Haldir's mind became numb and he felt that he was unwillingly leaning 
into his brother's kisses, acutely aware of the warmth and strength of the 
beautiful body pressed against his. As Orophin slowly began to stroke his 
back and nibble at his collarbone, Haldir felt a dizziness wash over him. 
He suddenly thought of how good it would be to let his brother ease away 
his pain at least for a while, his senses almost overpowering his mind, all 
the pent up need in him struggling to be released. It took him every ounce 
of willpower to step back and regain control over his body. He gently 
placed his hands on Orophin's shoulders and gave him a warm, loving 
smile. 
 
« My fair one » he began « You know how much I care for you and how 
deeply I missed you. But let us not be mislead by the joy we feel at seeing 
each other again. I am not sure it would be wise to rekindle a long 
extinguished flame. Besides… - Haldir added in a more light-hearted tone 
– If I had such a beautiful creature as you , whom I love so much, sharing 
my bed tonight after so many months of loneliness… I don't think I would 
be able to behave properly… ». 
 
After a few seconds Orophin eventually smiled back and covered Haldir´s 
hands with his, slightly blushing. 
 
« You're right Haldir. You always are. I don't know what came over me. I 
was so afraid I would never see you again. Please forgive me… » 
 
« I have nothing to forgive you, melethron-nin » Haldir softly chuckled. « 
I missed you much as well ». 
 
With these words Haldir leant in and softly placed his mouth on Orophin's 
lips. They kissed chastely for a few seconds, then Haldir slowly retreated, 
putting an end to the sweet mingling of their souls for fear he could wish 
for more if it lasted too long. 
 
« We'll see each other tomorrow for the training »Haldir eventually said, 
and Orophin headed towards the ladder. 
 
« Make sure you don't oversleep brother, or I'd have to come and wake 
you up ! » Orophin winked over his shoulder. 
 
« Don't tempt me ! » the older Elf replied, then Orophin was gone. 
 
Haldir suddenly felt very cold.
 
******************************
 
Haldir awoke when a playful ray of light decided to land on his closed 
lids. He stifled a yawn and lazily stretched his numb body under the green 
blankets, which felt warm and soft against his naked limbs. He had slept 
well. Haldir reveled in the sensation. Usually his sleep was troubled by 
dark, unbidden memories of the months he had spent away from the 
Golden Wood, and he often awoke with a start when it was still dark 
outside, cold sweat bursting out all over his body, believing he still found 
himself in the damp, gloomy cell he had been locked in for countless 
nights. As he gradually came to full awareness, Haldir noticed that his skin 
was tingling all over. He was not unfamiliar with the sensation, yet he had 
not experienced it for quite a long time. It could only mean one thing : he 
had been dreaming of him. Or, to be more accurate, of them together. 
Perhaps it was because of Orophin's visit the evening before. The enticing 
closeness of his warm body, his soft breath in Haldir's ear, had summoned 
images of another blond warrior in his dreams. 
 
A strand of golden hair brushing his cheek… clear blue eyes shining with 
terror as dawn came… soft, soothing whispers… And the kisses…the 
mind-numbing, yet heartbreakingly sad kisses that were shared in the pitch 
black cell when it seemed that hope itself had turned its back on them 
forever. Kisses of comfort, kisses of despair they had been on one side, but 
on the other side stood Haldir, and to him,above all other meanings, they 
had been kisses of love. 
 
Love. Legolas. Both words held the same meaning for the Lorien Elf. He 
had had to wait almost five hundred years to discover the feeling, only to 
learn shortly after how much it could hurt… 
 
Love had long been a mystery for Haldir. He had of course surrendered 
many times to the passion and pleasures of physical love, and had felt 
great tenderness for most of his partners, whether male or female, but he 
had never experienced the sensation of loosing himself, body, mind and 
soul, into another being. Sadly enough, Haldir had often awoken deep 
longing in other hearts, some of whom had hardly recovered when it 
became obvious that their feelings were unrequited. As years went by, he 
had learnt to be more selective. Still, the lingering question in Lothlorien 
was always the same : who would win the heart of the handsome March 
Warden? 
 
For Haldir was indeed beautiful. Exceptionally attractive, even by Elven 
standards . He was tall and broad-chested, his strong, perfect limbs - the 
result of years and hundreds of years of training - strikingly contrasting 
with his delicate features, his blue eyes almost disappearing under jet 
black lashes, his pale blond hair falling into thick braids down his back; 
and every time he let it loose while bathing into the river, many were 
struck in awe at the sight of the warrior's body shrouded to the waist by a 
veil of gold and silver. 
Yet, what truly made Haldir special was the total control he had upon his 
emotions. Haldir was always in command, proud and unbending, both in 
war and in social life, and that earned him admiration and respect. 
Sometimes defiance as well, on the part of those who mistook his distant 
attitude for arrogance; yet Elves who got to know him well soon 
discovered the generous heart hidden under the apparent coldness. 
 
Haldir tried to push away the memories of Legolas and concentrate on the 
day ahead of him. He would soon have to leave his makeshift bed and join 
the others for training. His brothers would be there, and the sons of Elrond 
as well, for Orophin's presence last night meant that Elrohir, Elladan's twin 
brother, had also returned. 
 
Orophin… Haldir thought about his brother's sweet plea the evening 
before, and felt his heart melt. Haldir and Orophin shared a special bond; 
they always would. He loved Rúmil equally as much, as did Orophin, but 
the feeling was different. Until quite recently, Orophin had been the only 
one for whom Haldir had let his guard fall. And still now, Orophin knew 
Haldir better than anyone; he had seen Haldir cry, both in sorrow and in 
pleasure, he had watched him tremble and moan as no one else would ever 
see him later on, he had felt his heartbeat close to his own times too 
numerous to count. Orophin was the only being Haldir could share 
everything with, without shame, without fear of being judged, always 
caring and tender, closer than kin. 
 
Haldir acutely felt the need to be with his brother in this very moment. 
How he would love to let his head rest on Orophin's shoulder and empty 
his troubled heart into his the other's understanding ear. Orophin would 
listen to him and find the right words to tell. He would comfort him and 
hold him close, chasing away, if only for a while, the dark clouds which 
threatened to drive Haldir mad. Orophin… Haldir's thoughts took him 
back to an afternoon a long time ago, a few months after their parents had 
decided to sail West, a time when Rúmil was still only a little boy. The 
afternoon that changed it all…