TITLE: Shadows of the Past AUTHOR: Fair Elf RATING: R PAIRING: Legolas/Thranduil SUMMARY: Legolas finally escapes from the horrible life that his father brought to him, and in the dark cold Mirkwood forest, he contemplats on what to do with himself. DISCLAIMER: Don't own em, don't profit from em, don't sue. WARNING: PWP, non-con, insect, dark themes, suicidal thoughts. AUTHORS NOTE: Forgive me if it is a bit short, but its the last weeks of school and I seem to be at a lack of time. Well, hope you enjoy. Feedback is most welcome! Much love to Kaite, as always, you keep me going, love ya! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Legolas spurred the horse on, it was all he could do, he had to get away. He had be riding for the past five hours, but he could not stop, he had to get as far away from him as he could tonight. His lungs burned and he vision was blurred by tears that seems to be never ending. He rode for another hour, then when he and the horse could go no further, he collapsed onto the soft wet ground. The tremors that racked his body constantly were not due to the cold air surrounding him, or the fact that he did not bring any weapons except for a small dagger that would do him no good should he get into a fight, or food save for some lembas and a water skin or two. He could not build a fire for he had nothing to start it with. So there he sat, alone, cold and in the dark, shivering like a small child who had awoken from a nightmare. And in his mind, thats what he was. He had woken up from a nightmare that had been his life for the past 50 years. Legolas could not fight the over-powering tiredness, but every time he began to fall asleep, visions haunted his mind. Finally he passed into an uneasy sleep, full of nightmares of the past. ~*~*~*~Flashback~*~*~*~ "Ada! No! Saes...daro.." Legolas cried again, tears slipping shamelessly down his cheaks as his hands were once again bound to the so familiar bed posts. "Silence! Do not make this more painful that it has to be!" Thranduil's hand came down hard onto Legolas' face again and again, until Legolas could no longer speak, or see straight, then he began to tie his wrists up again. Legolas gave a small wimper as his hands were bound above his head very tightly. When his hands were bound tight enough, Thranduil ripped off his leggings and tunic. "So beautiful..do you know how beautiful you are melda?" Thranduil ran his hand down Legolas' smooth chest. Legolas wimpered again, " No, ada saes...daro..saes..do not do this.." It was all Legolas could whisper, before he choked on a sob as his father grabbed his soft member. " Do not be afraid pen-neth...you will enjoy it, I promise...give in to what you want." Legolas' face grew hot, how he wished he could control his body! He could not stop from growing hard as his father stroked him, strong and swift. He cursed himself when he gave a wimper of dissapointment as the hand stopped. Thranduil stood up and began to undress himself. A soft moan escaped his lips as his hard member was freed from the confines of his leggings. He began to stroke himself as he again walked to the bedside, and straddled Legolas' quivering body. "Shhh my child...I promise I will make this good for you." He purred into Legolas' ear, stopping to bite and nibble at the delacate point. Legolas felt his legs being pushed apart, but there was nothing he could do. "Ada..why?..why are you doing this to me?" Legolas' eyes swelled with unshed tears as his fathers ice blue eyes met his. " Because, Legolas, you killed your mother." With that Thranduil thrust himself into Legolas. The scream that Legolas had be holding inside finally came out. He screamed, he screamed like he had never screamed before. He felt like his insides were on fire, how it burned! Tears fell down his cheaks anew, as his father trust into his again and again. " You killed her! You took away the only thing in my life worth living for!" Thranduil screamed at him, and hit him again. " No! Ada! Saes! I did not kill nana! Daro! Ada--" He was cut short by a particularly hard punch across his jaw that split his lip. "Yes you did, you brat! You killed her, this is the only way to ever make up for it." Thranduil punched him again and with a gutteral moan, spent himself inside his only son. Legolas' insides burned, he cried out as Thranduil finished himself. "You will learn your lession, brat. You will learn to be the whore that you are." Thranduil spat at Legolas' face. As he walked towards the bathroom door, he bairly caought Legolas' quite whisper, " I'm sorry ada..saes..forgive me." He turned his cruel eyes back to the broken form on the bed, his head slumped in defeat. " No Legolas, there is no forgiveness in my heart for you." With that he turned and left Legolas tied to the bed, his tears leaving paths of burings humilliation on his cheeks. ~*~*~*~End Flashback~*~*~*~ Legolas woke with a start, tears streaming down his face. "You killed her, you are a murderer." He told himself over and over again, tears running down his cheaks. His body was numb, he couldnt feel the shaking that took his body, how his fingers and toes felt as if they were going to fall off from the cold. He had begged for years that the Valar would take him, let him be free from his father in Mados' Halls, but they never would. " It is what you deserve, you murderer...you killed your own mother, they know, and they are making you suffer." He whispered bitterly to himself. He sat up and pulled his knees closer to his chest. As dawn slowly came, he finally realized how hungry he was. He took a piece of lembas from his pocket and began to eat it. He closed his eyes and pictures flooded his mind. He became sick with himself, sick for being so weak, sick for not fighting back all those years, sick for liking it sometimes. He oped his eyes and rolled to the side, feeling like all he had ever eaten was comming out of his stomache. After a few minutes, when the dry heaves had finally stopped, he layed down again and wiped away the cold sweat that had formed on his brow. He closed his eyes and felt a soft nose rub his neck. He reached up and rubbed the mare's soft fur. "Ai, Seregon, amin mela lle..thank you for being so loyal." He didnt know how long he had layed there like that, but he felt darkness take hold of him, and he went to sleep. ~*~*~*~Flashback~*~*~*~ Legolas ran as fast as he could back to the palace. "Ada will kill me if I am not back on time!" With a new kindled fear in his heart, his legs seemed to go faster than they had ever gone before. "Maybe he will not notice that I am gone, maybe he did not look for me." Legolas' face paled when he rounded a corner and saw his father standing there, waiting for him. He stopped dead in his tracks in front of him, his eyes falling to the harsh black whip at his side. "Wrap your arms around that tree whore. Now!" Legolas flinched at the tone of voice. He obeyed silently, knowing that it would only be worse if he made a sound. He wrapped his slender hands around the large trunk, his nails digging into his hands so hard he left deep, red cresent shaped cuts. Thranduil walked up behind Legolas' shaking body. He ran his hands down the well muscled shoulders, back, and thighs. He then reached up and ripped the tunic off from the top of the colar, and smiled when he heard Legolas gasp is suprise. "Your late." Thranduil growled into Legolas' ear, making him jump. " Ada..amin hiraeth.." Thranduil took a few steps back, and lashed the whip across Legolas' perfectly smooth back, marring it with a thin red line of fire. "Ada! Amin hiraetha!" ~*~*~*~End Flashback~*~*~*~ "Ada! No!" Legolas screamed and shot into a sitting position. His body trembled although it was quite warm out, and the middle of the morning. His hands felt his back to make sure that it was just a dream, but he slowly began to cry as his fingers ran over the old scars that his father had given to him. " Im sorry nana, I killed you, this is no less than I deserve for what I have done.." He layed down again onto the soft moss and gave a heavy sigh. Why, why did his life have to be so difficult? Could not the Valar just let his heart break, and let him finally be at peace in the Halls of Mandos? No. His life would never become easy. He *had* to suffer..for what he did to her. Legolas was disgusted with himself, he was dirty, he had not washed himself in the past two days, he felt so weak from crying, he did not even have the energy to eat some lembas. Suddenly, a thought came to Legolas. "Yes..yes it would work, it is the only way...the only way to truely be forgiven for what I have done to her.." Legolas sat up and leaned again a tree trunk. He wiped the tears away from his eyes and he reached for his small dagger. Saragon came over and tried to nuzzle his hand from the blade, to pet him, anything to keep Legolas' hand from getting that dagger. For the first time in awhile, Legolas gave a small smile and a brief chuckle, " It is alright Saragon, I am no longer afraid, I know what I must do, it is the only way." Saragon winnied loudly in his attempt to tell Legolas that he did not agree with this plan. Legolas looked closely at the small dagger, it was one that his father had given him, before... Legolas broke down again, his body quaked again. When he felt able to hold the dagger without his hands shaking he raised it to his breast. With a sigh he looked his last upon Arda, and upon Seregon, who looked very scared. " Nana..this is for you..Amin hiraeth..." Just as Legolas was about to plunge the dagger into his breaking heart, he heard a cold voice from behind him, causing him to drop the blade and quiver like the last leaf in the new winter's wind. "So Legolas, you thought you could escape from me? It is not that easy, it never will be. Life is always difficult for a *murderer*. Which is exactly what you are, isnt it? Your a murderer and a whore..and you always will be." Legolas face lost all color as he felt the person come closer. He closed his eyes, and suddenly he could barely whisper... "Ada..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ada= father saes= please daro= stop melda= beloved Seregon= "Blood of Stone", a plant with deep red flowers. nana= mother amin hiraetha= I am sorry Well, whadya think? E-mail me please! If I get enough good reviews, maybe I'll continue it! Thanks again for reading! Namaarie! -=Nimriel=-