Title: A Hobbit Fairy Tale
Author: Nfinity Nite (nfinity_nite_monaghan @yahoo.com)
Summary: A mostly lighthearted love tryst between my favorite hobbits
about the power of pure love and its eternal ability to forgive the
unforgivable.  It's not your average love story, and definitely not
your average fairy tale.
Warnings: the usual: incest, slight angst, and irrepressible romance.
Feedback: Please?? I'll love you forever.
Archive: "He can call me Flower if he wants to, I don't mind." (The
skunk from *Bambi*) Sorry, had to.
A/N: I owe this idea to insomnia and a completely insistent
plot-chipmunk and it is the longest fanfic that I've actually ever
written. Wow. And it's also my favorite, cause it's the first one I
didn't get bored with. Anyway, if you like this story, please check
out the story I'm co-authoring on ffn. It's called 'If I Had One
Wish'. It's in the LotR section and it's a humor story, rated R. I'd
be eternally grateful! (Yes I know, shameless plug J)
Enjoy!


A Hobbit Fairy Tale
Genesis

Once upon a time, there lived a lad in a beautiful place called the
Shire, who was in love. This lad was unlike other lads. He didn't know
that he was in love, nor that the one he loved also loved him. He was
a very good lad, son of a very important gentlehobbit and heir to that
position. His love was also a very important hobbit, but he was rarely
called a 'good lad'. Normally people called him the 'fool of a Took',
especially when he got himself, and his friend, in trouble. But he
always seemed to get them both out of it. This is the tale of their
love and the roller-coaster ride they went on to get there.

Their tale begins on a lovely April day in a majestic wood, with the
two friends and a startling revelation…

Chapter 1

Merry gaped open-mouthed at the sight before him. He didn't mean to be
a peeping Tom; he was only hiding up in this particular tree because
it was one of the few that his eldest Took cousin, Pearl, hadn't
caught him in. He was just beginning to relax when a noise in the
bushes below alerted him. Merry watched, in silent fascination as his
dearest cousin, Pippin, darted out from behind a bunch of bushes and
stopped in the clearing that Merry's tree overlooked. The clearing was
completely secluded from the path that lay about six feet to the
right, far enough for a little privacy, but close enough so as you
don't lose your way. Pippin glanced around three or four times as if
he were looking for intruders, but he didn't look up. If he had looked
up, and looked hard enough to see beyond the foliage, Pippin would
have seen his cousin up in the tree. But Pippin seemed to Merry to be
slightly preoccupied.

Pippin checked again to make sure he was alone, gave an urgent little
sigh and unceremoniously dropped his drawers, as the saying goes.
Merry almost audibly gasped. Here was his twenty-one year old cousin
about to 'relieve his tension' as his da called it, and here Merry was
stuck in a tree above him like a pervert. 'What am I doing,' he
thought, trying to find some way out of this situation. He looked down
without thinking when he heard Pippin moan, ever so softly, and was
captivated by the scene before him.

Pippin was lying on the ground, completely disregarding the hard feel
of it. His eyes were half shut and his head was thrown back as he
moved his hand up and down his erection. He was already flushed and
starting to breath heavily, little pants and moans escaping his lips.
Merry watched in agonized silence, unable to look away, as Pippin's
breathing became harder and his movements faster and jerkier. Sweat
broke out on his face and he began to undulate his hips in time with
the thrusts of his hand. His moans became more urgent, louder and more
full of the need that was driving him at that moment. Merry felt his
breathing getting heavier and he realized that watching Pippin
pleasure himself was making him hard. He forgot in that moment that it
was wrong that he was watching his cousin, his *male* cousin, and that
he shouldn't be having this problem by watching another boy tend to
himself. He ground his hips hard into the tree to keep himself from
getting overly excited, too entranced by the sight below him to even
think about looking away.

Pippin was nearing his climax at that point. He was breathing like
he'd just run a mile and the sweat trickled down his face. He bit his
bottom lip and closed his eyes, his movements becoming erratic as his
passion crested.

"Merry," he whispered, his voice full of urgency and raw need. "Oh,
Merry!" Merry froze up in the tree, his eyes wide and his mouth
hanging open slightly. He'd stopped breathing for a moment and his
heart skipped a beat. Pippin's climax ended and he lay there still
panting, unable to move for a second. Merry's whole world had stopped;
his brain couldn't process what had just happened. After a very long,
silent pause, with the only sounds in the clearing being Pippin's
calming breaths and Merry's own light breathing, Pippin heaved a sigh,
wiped the sweat off of his face, cleaned himself off a little and put
his trousers back on. He then moved away from his previous spot and
sat down against the tree opposite Merry's. He sat down heavily and
drew his legs up, bowing his head so that his tousled curls covered
his face. A moment later soft, barely audible sobs broke the pregnant
silence and Merry realized that Pippin was crying. He looked the very
portrait of misery, crouched alone with his face covered, crying so
heartbrokenly that Merry just wanted to hold him and tell him that
everything would be all right.

But Merry knew that he couldn't comfort Pippin for two obvious
reasons: one, he would have to tell Pippin that he'd been in that tree
the entire time and that would probably embarrass Pippin and lead to
awkward questions, questions Merry didn't quite want to know the
answer to. And two, Merry didn't know how to react to what he'd just
witnessed, he didn't know what to say to comfort Pippin or to
understand why Pippin was crying. Which would lead to the same awkward
questions. And that realization that Pippin was crying alone because
of him and he could do nothing about it broke Merry's heart.

Pippin's sobs dwindled down to sniffles and he finally looked up after
a while. He wiped his eyes and nose and leaned back to look at the
sunlight streaming through the trees. He closed his eyes for a moment
and felt the soft breeze blow through his hair. Then he sighed and
opened his eyes again.

"I don't know when I started feeling this way about him," he said
softly to a curious blue jay that had landed on a bush near him. "I
guess I've always loved him and it's just now become something more.
It's just, every time he looks at me I get shivers and sometimes I
dream about him and dream that he knows and he doesn't hate me and he
tells me that he's felt the same way all along." Pippin sighed again
and put his hand on his forehead. "And sometimes I want to tell him,
just burst out and say to him that I love him as more than a cousin
and, at moments like those, it just feels like a dam about ready to
burst. It's like the pressure of holding it in is going to kill me…
and then he smiles in that way of his and my heart breaks because I
know he'll never forgive me for my feelings and he'll hate me for
being so, so… Tookish." He looked miserably at the jay and was silent
for a moment.

 "What should I do?" he burst out suddenly. "I can't go on like this;
stealing moments to think about him and pretend that it's him I'm
feeling touching me. Oh, lord, if he knew, he'd hate me I know it.
He'd be disgusted with me and leave me all alone for the rest of my
life and I'd go through my life broken and useless to everyone. I
just… I think about telling him and then an image of me without him,
even just having him as a friend is better than nothing, and I see
myself as I would be without him to comfort me when I'm sick or sad,
or do stupid things with that we know will get us into trouble, and I
see myself getting into that kind of trouble and this time, he's not
there to get me out of it, he's not there to reason my father out of
killing his only son and heir. Oh, life would be wretched without
him!" Tears welled up in his eyes and he let escape a loud sob that
scared the blue jay away. Pippin buried his face in his hands and was
sobbing so hard that he didn't hear Merry climb silently out of the
tree and walk down the path a little ways. So when Merry startled
Pippin out of his pity, it looked to Pippin like Merry had been
walking from the path and had heard him crying.

"What's this, Pippin? Why are you crying out here, all alone," he
asked when he got closer to Pippin. His heart wrenched with guilt when
Pippin's head shot up and Merry saw the fresh tears and the red
swollen eyes. Pippin quickly dried his eyes and sat there, not looking
at Merry.

"Why was you crying, dear heart?" Merry crouched down beside Pippin,
putting a comforting arm around him. "Whatever it is, you can tell me
and I'll see if I can't make it better. Did you get in trouble with
your da again?" Pippin shook his head. "Then, what is it?"

Pippin looked up at Merry for a moment and fresh tears came to his
eyes. He mumbled something inaudible and Merry sighed.

"Pippin, dearest, I can't hear you when you mumble. Just tell me. If
it's bad, I won't tell anyone, I swear." He crossed his heart with his
right hand, just like Pippin used to make him do when Pippin was a
child and had a secret to tell him. Pippin shook his head again.

"Don't make a promise you can't keep, Meriadoc Brandybuck," he said
softly. Merry frowned.

"I always keep my promises unless circumstances prevent me from
keeping them, Peregrin Took. Now what is it that makes you cry so?"
Pippin looked questioningly into Merry's eyes and, seeing no
dishonesty, took a deep breath and prepared to lie. "Pippin," Merry
said, knowing his cousin all too well. "No lies. I want the truth."
Pippin exhaled sharply.

"Oh, Merry," he said for a second time that day, though in an entirely
different manner than he had before. "If I told you, you'd hate me
forever," he said in a heartbroken voice. Merry snorted.

"I couldn't hate you if I tried, you impetuous Took. Why not tell me
and get it off of your chest?" Pippin bowed his head for a moment,
composing himself and considering.

"I'm a bad hobbit," he said suddenly. Merry frowned. What Pippin had
been doing wasn't considered 'bad', only a simple fact of nature.

"How are you a bad hobbit," Merry asked encouragingly. Pippin sighed.

"I… when I… when I 'tend to myself', I don't…" Pippin stopped,
suddenly gripped again by that fear of rejection. He bit his lower lip
and squeezed his eyes shut and wouldn't say anything else.

"What don't you do when you tend your needs, Pip," Merry asked
quietly. Pippin kept his eyes squeezed shut.

"I don't think about lasses, Merry," he whispered, a delicate blush
spreading across his cheeks. "I… I think about you." He mumbled the
last two words and Merry didn't quite catch them.

"What Pip?"

"I think about you, Merry," Pippin spat out and the he turned quickly
away from his cousin's still form, tears yet again tracing paths down
his cheeks from his tightly closed eyes. Merry gasped audibly. Hearing
it straight from Pippin's mouth to him was an entirely different thing
than overhearing it said to a blue jay. Merry stuttered for a moment
trying to find something to say, but before he could formulate words
Pippin spoke again, letting all of his feelings come out in a rush of
breath, much like the dam he'd made an analogy to earlier.

"I can't stop myself from thinking of you like this and I know it's
wrong, and that I would disgrace the family if they ever knew and I
knew you'd hate me for feeling this and I can't… I don't know how to
keep these feelings from coming over me and I think I must be a
terrible hobbit for being this way, and I'm sure that you hate me now
but I just wanted to tell you, I just had to tell you that I love you
more than anything else in Middle-Earth, even more than all six meals,
and I simply *can't* stop myself from loving you and wanting you in
this disgraceful way!" It took Merry a moment to comprehend this
whirlwind of an intense emotional outburst.

"Well, Pippin, I don't really know what to say," he said finally. He
turned Pippin to face him and urged him to open his eyes. "I don't
hate you, Pippin. And I'm sure that, while this is quite unheard of,
you're not the first and not the last hobbit to feel this way. But I'm
not saying it's right," Merry said to stop Pippin from gaining a false
hope. "I don't want to hurt your feelings, Pippin, and I do love you,
just… not in the same way." Pippin's face fell and tears came to his
eyes for the fifth time in as many minutes and he looked away. "Now,
Pippin," Merry continued, the words coming from his mouth before he
thought of them. "You'll have to find some way to stop yourself from
feeling like this. If the only way you can do that is by not having me
around, then I shall have to leave for a while…" Merry stopped at the
stunned horror on Pippin's face as the very thing he'd dreaded came
spouting out of Merry's mouth.

"Merry," Pippin said weakly. "Merry… no. Please," he pleaded
despondently. "Don't leave me alone." Merry, for fear of his own
reaction to Pippin's previous show and his heart's reaction to
Pippin's revelation and in pure blind panic of his father, made the
decision that would change everything. He had to push Pippin away.

"I am leaving, Peregrin Took," he said in his grown up voice. "It's
for your own good. I'll be leaving for Buckland as soon as I walk back
to the Smials. I don't know if I'll ever be back." Pippin flinched at
the harshness and unintended cruelty in Merry's voice. "Goodbye,
Peregrin," Merry said as he got up and turned to walk away, leaving
Pippin standing there staring after him in silent shock with tears
coursing down his face. As Merry disappeared from sight back onto the
path, Pippin's legs gave out as the shock wore off and the harsh cold
reality of Merry's rejection hit him like a great cave troll from
Cousin Bilbo's stories. His breath came out in a great whoosh and his
brain went numb as he felt pain--real physical pain--course through
his body. He slumped to the ground and the last thing he said before
the world went dark was a whispered, "Merry."

Chapter 2

Pippin opened his eyes to the bright morning and groaned. He just
wanted it to go away. The sunlight and his family were his problems
and all he wanted right now was to stay in bed forever, to drown out
his pain in his dreams. Sleep was the only time of the day that he
didn't feel it, this burning pain that constantly plagued him. His
Merry was gone, had rejected him, and was likely to never come back at
all. An image came to him of a long, lonely life without the one that
he loved and it brought tears to his eyes. Another sharp pain hit him
and made him lose his breath.

Three days, it had been three days since that day. Pippin's sister
Pearl had found him passed out on the ground. Soon everyone connected
Merry's sudden departure with Pippin's fainting spell and the rumours
began to grow. But nobody knew the truth. Pippin's parent's had tried
everything they could to comfort him, but all he wanted to do was
sleep. He'd all but stopped eating; only going to the table when he
was forced and even then only picking at his food and pushing it
around his plate. He was losing weight rapidly, which was a serious
thing for a hobbit.

Pippin was slipping back into sleep when his father came into the room
and jostled him awake. Five pairs of concerned green eyes were
focussed on him: his mother and father, and his three sisters, Pearl,
Pervinca, and Pimpernel. Without a word Pippin's father, Paladin,
hefted his son out of bed and carried him out of the room, heedless of
Pippin's protests. He carried him down the hall, which was a testimony
to how much Pippin had lost for he was as tall as his father and only
a little les wide, and out of the Smials and deposited him on a
carriage seat. That's when Pippin realized that he hadn't even
bothered to change his clothes the night before. Pippin looked behind
him and saw two bags that were no doubt full of his clothes and the
usual things he took with him on trips. For one harrowing second
Pippin thought that Paladin was going to take him to Brandy Hall and
demand answers from both him and Merry. But as Eglantine and his
sisters kissed Pippin's cheek Paladin looked at his only son and said
gruffly:

"Don't worry, lad. I'm not going to interrogate you. I'm taking you to
Frodo to sort this thing out on your own." His tone softened a little.
"Whatever happened between you and Meriadoc, I want you to fix it. A
Pippin without Merry is a very miserable Pippin indeed." The rest of
their journey from the Smials in Tuckborough to Hobbiton was spent in
silence and Pippin thought long and hard about how wise his father
was. But he also thought that *if* there was a solution, Paladin
wouldn't like it, no matter what it was.

Frodo was waiting for them at the door. Pippin supposed that Paladin
had sent word ahead so that Frodo would be prepared for the state that
he, Pippin, was in. As his eyes lit on his cousin, Frodo smiled in a
sympathetic way and opened his arms wide. Pippins, forgetting he was
all of twenty-one years old and that Frodo wasn't as young as he used
to be, launched himself into that comforting embrace and let the tears
fall immediately. Paladin busied himself by helping Sam take Pippin's
bags into the hole.

"Shh, my little one," Frodo said comfortingly as Pippin cried into his
chest. "Everything's going to work out. Just wait and watch." Pippin
sniffed twice and nodded. Frodo handed him a handkerchief and led
Pippin into the living room. Pippin said goodbye to his father and was
a little disconcerted that Paladin hadn't specified a time that he'd
be back for him. Pippin sat on Frodo's couch forlornly, waiting for
the questions to begin. He wasn't disappointed but found that it was
easier to talk to Frodo, almost as easy as it was to talk to Merry
about any little thing.

"Why don't you tell me what happened, Pippin? If there's anything you
don't want to tell me, that's fine, but if you want to tell me later,
I'll be right here for you." Pippin nodded and pulled his knees up to
his chest.

"I made a terrible mistake," he started. Frodo nodded encouragingly.
Pippin took a steadying breath. "I fell in love. With Merry." No
change came over Frodo's face and Pippin was perplexed. "Aren't you
going to be mad at me too?" Frodo laughed.

"Of course not, silly goose. Why would I be mad at you? This sort of
thing happens sometimes and when you're that close to someone, it's
hard not to fall in love with that person's personality and even
sometimes with their looks. Though it's rare, it's not completely
uncommon," Frodo replied with a smile. Pippin felt a little better and
more able to talk. He told Frodo about that day's activities.

"And then Merry came up to me and asked me what was wrong and I…"
Pippin stopped and tears coursed down his cheeks. He'd thought he'd
cried all he was going to, that all of his tears had dried up like
creek beds or old wells. He tried to continue and found that his voice
was stuck in his throat.

"So you told him," Frodo said slowly, emotions playing in his voice
from empathy, anger, and something a little more dangerous. Pippin
wondered what had happened to make that strange look come into his
gentle cousin's eyes. Pippin nodded consent and hung his head. "And he
didn't take it well," Frodo continued, striving to keep his own
emotions in check. Again, Pippin nodded.

"He told me the same thing as you did. That it wasn't unnatural and
that he wasn't mad but that I couldn't feel this way about him. He
seemed okay at first and then he… changed. He began to get angry, but
it didn't seem like he was angry with me. And then he said that maybe
he should leave so that I could get over my…. my abnormality and, then
he made up his mind and told me he was leaving and that he may never
come back. He was so cruel to me Frodo." Pippin's voice had become a
whisper and his eyes went wide with the shock of it. "It was like
Merry wasn't Merry anymore and he looked scared and he was just so…so
harsh." He fell silent and stared at the wall as Frodo took a second
to reign in his own emotions.

"Oh, Pippin," Frodo sighed as he ran his hand absently through
Pippin's unruly auburn curls. "I had hoped that you would find a
brighter future than I have." Pippin pulled out of his reverie and
looked at Frodo with startled eyes.

"You," he asked incredulously. Frodo nodded with a sad smile. "Who was
it, I'll teach them not to hurt my cousin," Pippin said as indignation
came into his voice. How could anyone want to hurt his dear, gentle
cousin? Frodo laid a hand on Pippin's arm to stop his objections.

"It's in the past, my dear hobbit. I've learned to live with it. But I
don't want you to have to. Now I have a suspicion of our young
Brandybuck that you may not have guessed. I'll have a talk with him in
the morning and we'll see if we can't straighten this whole mess out
for the better." Frodo's reassuring smile put Pippin at ease and he
cried no more tears that night.

Chapter 3

The next morning, Merry Brandybuck arrived at Bag End with no
knowledge that Pippin was staying there. He smiled at Frodo when he
entered.

"Hullo, cousin. Why the urgent summons?" His smile faltered at the
look on Frodo's face. "What happened?" Many thoughts raced through his
head, but the one thing that came to the forefront was Pippin.
Something had happened to him, and it was Merry's fault. Merry's heart
lurched at the thought and he suddenly felt dizzy. He grasped the
reins of his pony and closed his eyes for a moment. Frodo was
instantly by his side, leading him toward to the door. Merry realized
he was still leading the pony. He went to move and Frodo stopped him.

"Don't worry about the pony, Merry, I'll have Sam put her up. You go
into the kitchen and pour yourself a cup of tea." Merry complied and
was sitting in a kitchen chair when Frodo came back in with a stern
look on his face. Merry immediately became concerned. Frodo sat
heavily in a chair, his years and heartache weighing a great deal upon
him. He stared at the tabletop for a moment and then spoke in a soft
voice.

"I wanted to talk to you," he began. "About Pippin." Merry flinched at
Frodo's tone. Pippin had told him. Merry was instantly ashamed of what
he'd done.

"Frodo, I-" Frodo cut him off with a gesture and a frown.

"I will talk first, Meriadoc Brandybuck. And you will listen to what I
have to say. Yes Pippin told me what happened. He's asleep in one of
the spare bedrooms at the moment. I wanted to tell you a story," his
voice faltered and began to waver as he continued. He cleared his
throat and began.

"A few years ago, a young lad about your age fell in love, with
another lad. He worried about what the other lad would think if he
revealed his feelings, because the other lad had never shown any
interest in him as anything other than a friend. He worried about what
others would think, about how unnatural he was. He worried and worried
and that hidden love ate at his heart like a cancer and the doubts
that clouded his mind seeped into his very soul and he convinced
himself that he was wrong, and that the other lad would never
understand, couldn't possibly know because if he found out, he'd know
this lovesick lad was perverted in some way and abnormal and would
shun him. He'd leave him forever.

"So the young lad kept his feelings secret for many long and painful
years. And during that time, the lad's friend became more handsome,
and more enticing with each passing year. And the lad fell more and
more in love with each passing of the seasons. But still, he didn't
reveal his feelings and the lad's friend went about things normally,
never knowing an inkling of it.

"Until one day, while taking a walk, the young lads went on a swim and
the lovesick lad saved the other's life from drowning. His friend was
so grateful; he said that if there was anything that he could do for
him, he would. He also said that they would always be best friends and
that nothing could drive them apart. The young lad, feeling very
content and happy, then decided to tell his love about his feelings."
Frodo stopped and looked at Merry, who had silent tears running down
his cheeks, as he knew what was going to happen. "You know what
happens next, don't you, Merry," Frodo said quietly. Merry nodded and
shook his head.

"Frodo…. I can't feel the same way Pippin feels for me. It's… I…. My
father would…" Frodo raised his eyes to look at Merry. Saradoc
Brandybuck had never entered his mind. Merry's father had ruled his
life since the day he was born, preparing him to become the Master of
Buckland. He managed his son with an iron-like fist, with lessons
enforced by a belt or his hand. Frodo frowned.

"Do you know whose story that is, Merry?" Merry wiped his eyes and
shook his head. Frodo gave a sad smile. "It's mine." A gasp came
unbidden from Merry's lips. "Yes," Frodo said. "I was in Pippin's
predicament a long time ago. The lad that I loved rejected me and it
tore a wound open in my heart that will never fully heal. But I've
grown accustomed to the pain. But I don't want Pippin to have to get
used to it, or to deal with it. I don't want him to ever suffer like I
have. I promised that if I could prevent it, no one would have to be
subject to the pain I was." Frodo stopped as he struggled to reign in
his emotions. Merry slipped from his chair and put his arms around
Frodo in a reassuring hug.

"I don't know if I can learn to love Pippin, Frodo," Merry whispered
forlornly in Frodo's ear. Frodo patted Merry's arm and pulled him back
to look into his eyes.

"You can. It's there, in your heart, just waiting for the right
moment." He thought about it for a second and then gave a wide smile.
"Why don't you go down to the market for me and get a few things. You
can use the time and think about Pippin." Merry frowned in confusion
and Frodo elaborated. "Just think about things you like about him and
things you don't like about him. Just think about *him* for a while.
Inspiration might strike from anywhere." He sent Merry out of Bag End
with a long list of things that he really didn't need.

"You have that glint in your eyes again, Mr. Frodo," Sam Gamgee stated
plainly as he watched from the front garden as Merry walking down the
lane with the long list in his hand. "Something's up. Where's Mr.
Merry off to without Mr. Pippin?" Frodo smiled and hugged Sam.

"He's going for a little shopping trip and Pippin's still asleep. When
he wakes up I'll have a chat with him." Frodo became distracted and
then smiled at Sam. "Would you be a dear and make breakfast? I am in
the mood for a stroll this lovely April morning." He went back inside
and got his walking stick and a light coat.

As he was walking, Sam was busy in the kitchen preparing breakfast. He
paused in the middle of sautéing the mushrooms.

"But I just went to grocery yesterday. What could we possibly need
now?"


Chapter 4

Merry was walking through the market, absentmindedly looking for the
things on the list Frodo had sent with him. He was going through
everything he knew about Pippin and, following Frodo's orders, trying
to figure out what he liked and disliked about Pippin. He began to
make a mental list in his head.

Things he liked about Pippin: His boisterousness and rambunctious
personality. The way he always stayed light-hearted. The mischief and
trouble he could get himself, and Merry, into and eventually get them
out of.  Things he didn't like about Pippin: His petulance; his
childlike tendencies; the way he got himself, and Merry, into trouble.

Little things that Merry had never realized he'd noticed about Pippin
came suddenly to the forefront of his mind. Pippin dancing with Pearl
at her wedding; Pippin laughing while running away from Farmer Maggot;
the way Pippin's eyes lit up when he was happy or excited; the way
Pippin's smile lit the room. Merry dwelt on that particular feature
for a moment: his smile lighting up a room or cheering him up. Merry
remembered with a smile of his own how Pippin rarely lost that trace,
that shadow, of a smile, even in sleep. Except when he was upset. And,
Merry realized with a fresh burst of guilt searing across his heart,
he'd caused Pippin to lose even that ghost of a smile. He sighed
heavily and continued his trek through the market.

What if Pippin refused to forgive him, refused to believe that Merry
had had a change of heart? He cringed at the thought of Pippin
rejecting Merry like Merry had rejected him. *What have I done?* he
asked himself. A thousand images and moments of Pippin flooded Merry's
brain and he realized what he'd really been searching for all this
time: his heart. He steeled himself and began the walk back to Bag
End; completely forgetting the errand Frodo had sent him on.


Pippin woke to the smells of bacon and the sounds of Sam in the
kitchen. He got up, washed and dressed and came into the kitchen at
the same moment Frodo returned from his walk. Frodo looked much
happier than he had the night before and that gave Pippin some hope
that today wouldn't be another day spent talking and crying. He'd
decided that night that Merry was no longer worth crying over and that
he couldn't spend the rest of his life pining for something
unattainable. He sat at the breakfast table beside Frodo and gave him
a smile that was only slightly less bright as his normal smiles.

"Good morning, Frodo," he said in a semi-cheerful voice. "I see you've
already beaten me to a walk." Frodo returned the smile and helped
himself to a biscuit. Sam came and set the breakfast food on the table
for the both of them.

"Thank you, Sam," Frodo said as he began to dig into a pile of bacon.
Sam nodded and began to wash the cooking dishes. For a while the only
sounds were the eating sounds and the sounds of Sam finishing the
dishes. After they'd finished with breakfast, Frodo let out a
contented sigh and looked over at Pippin who had a similar expression
on his face.

"I was hoping to talk to you about something Pippin," Frodo said.
Pippin shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He was quite tired of
talking, especially talking with Frodo about Merry. He just wanted to
continue his life and learn to live without Merry. Frodo seemed to
read his mind because he sighed and shook his head.

"I don't want you to learn to live with this, Pippin. No one should
have to go through that," Frodo said. "Why don't we have a look at the
garden that Sam's been working on? I think it's beautiful; Sam's best
work yet. Don't you think Sam?" Sam blushed and mumbled something at
the floor that soundly suspiciously like, "You're just sayin' that Mr.
Frodo. 'Tain't no better than anythin' else." Frodo smiled cheekily at
him and led Pippin out the kitchen door.

"I've talked to Merry, Pippin," Pippin shut his eyes against the tears
he knew were sure to come. Frodo stopped and turned Pippin to face
him. "He was confused and afraid, Pippin. He's still afraid and
confused, but I think he understands better his feelings. I sent him
to the market, to fetch some things, and I, well, I gave him a little
advice." Pippin opened his eyes.

"What's he afraid of?" Frodo bit his lip.

"He's afraid of his father, Pippin. He's afraid of what his father
would do to him if he reciprocated your feelings." A small ray of
comprehension and hope came into Pippin's eyes.

"Does that mean…" he found himself unable to finish the sentence and
he looked at Frodo with wide eyes. Frodo nodded.

"I think it does, Pippin, but you have to talk to Merry when he comes
back." A door opening and shutting informed them of Merry's return.
Frodo smiled at Pippin. "I don't want to get your hopes up, dear
heart, but I hope for you, everything works out for the best." Pippin
nodded and Frodo went inside to get Merry.

After a minute Merry came out and immediately began to search for
Pippin. He headed straight to him and stood for a moment, marvelling
at the thousand and one tiny things he'd just now noticed about
Pippin. He truly knew his heart now that he'd seen Pippin in this new
light. He walked to him and gingerly sat down beside him. Pippin was
watching the flowers sway in the soft breeze, each delicate blossom
creating its own dance in the face of the wind. Merry sat and watched
with him for a moment, neither of them speaking or looking away from
the differentiating and yet coordinated dance of the flowers. And then
the breeze blew away.

"I'm sorry, Pippin," Merry said softly, looking down at the now-still
flowers. Pippin nodded. "I just… I couldn't let myself think about it,
you know? I was afraid of what may have happened between us, and now I
might have ruined any chance of anything happening. I wish I had
realized this before I lost you." Pippin finally looked over at
Merry's still form, startled to see tears in *his* eyes. Pippin's hand
resting on his own startled Merry and he looked up at it and then into
Pippin's eyes.

"You haven't lost me, Merry," Pippin said and there were tears in his
voice and tears welling in his eyes. "I've been here all along, you
silly Brandybuck." Pippin smiled and Merry smiled back, glad to see
him smile again.

"Pippin," Merry started. Pippin put his hand to Merry's lips and
stilled the words. He shook is head.

"I understand it, Merry," he said. "I know why you pushed me away.
Stop apologizing." Merry smiled and nodded. "Besides, I believe you
have more important things to say to me, Master Brandybuck, and I'm
beginning to lose my patience," Pippin concluded. Merry laughed and
lightly pinched Pippin.

"Oh, Pip," Merry said, suddenly serious. "How could I have missed
this? How could I have missed you?" Pippin shrugged.

"You must have been temporarily blind."

"Frodo sent me to get some groceries and he told me to think, about
everything that we've done and I did. I thought about you and
everything I liked about you and disliked and I was thinking about
your smile and it just hit me, all at once, right here." He touched
Pippin's hand to his heart and smiled. "It took me a while, but I
finally found it, Pippin. I finally found my heart." Pippin couldn't
stop smiling now, he was grinning from ear to ear as Merry said this
to him and he was so giddy that he almost missed the most important
part of Merry's speech. "Oh, Pippin, I realized while I was down there
that I love you like you love me and I don't want anything to come
between us again." He fumbled in his jacket and pulled out something,
slipping it into Pippin's hand. Pippin looked down and nearly cried
out. Resting in his hand was a gold ring big enough to fit onto his
forefinger with a sapphire resting in the middle of it. The sapphire
was the same blue as Merry's eyes and Pippin wiped at his eyes as he
put it on.

"Merry, how…?" Merry's smile matched Pippin's as he pulled out a
similar ring; silver banded with an emerald the exact shade of
Pippin's eyes on it. He slipped it on the same finger as Pippin's.

"I've had these forever. They were Mum's when she was a child. I
always said I'd give one to the one I fell in love with, the one I
wanted to spend the rest of my life with," Merry said reverently. His
eyes were glowing as he stared at Pippin and Pippin felt his breath
catch as he realized what this meant. These were Promise rings, one
you gave to the person you wanted to spend your life with, and the
other you wore.

"You… you…" He stuttered himself into silence as he stared into
Merry's eyes. Merry's smile widened and he nodded. He closed the gap
between them, first with his hand caressing Pippin's cheek and then
his mouth meeting Pippin's with a tender passion. Pippin thought that
his heart would explode from the emotional flood that he was feeling.
Merry thought that this is what he'd have missed if he'd walked away
from Pippin forever. Both felt content and more than willing to stay
there like that forever in Frodo's back garden.

The kiss ended sooner than either wanted. An unspoken understanding
passed between them and they both decided to keep their show of
affections minimal around Frodo. Merry smiled as he thought about
later that night and he laughed out loud at the fey gleam that came
into Pippin's eyes when he thought the same thing.

They sat there like that, holding hands and watching the flowers grow,
for a few minutes and then got up and walked together into the
kitchen. Frodo looked up from his book and smiled when he saw the
entwined hands and the rings. He saw the love in his two cousins' eyes
and his smile turned to a wide grin. The lovers returned it and Pippin
hugged Frodo tightly and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you Frodo," he said. "I would have given up if not for you."
The look of pure love and desire that he gave Merry was enough to make
shivers course down Merry's spine. Merry agreed and thanked Frodo
also.


Later that night Pippin was getting ready for bed to the claps of loud
thunder. A storm had blown up that evening and it was articulating its
power by the loud thunder accompanying the blinding lightning. Every
time the thunder clapped, Pippin jumped, for it was widely known that
he was afraid of thunderstorms, especially the ones that happened at
bedtime. He slipped out of his room and walked down the hallway to
Merry's room, knocking softly. He heard Merry say, "Come on in Pip,"
and he opened the door and walked in, shutting it behind him. While it
was widely known that the Took hated thunderstorms at bedtime, it was
also common knowledge that he never slept alone during a thunderstorm,
and his comforter of choice was Merry. So, on past nights such as
this, no one ever thought anything of the young Took slipping off to
Merry's room in the middle of the night, or not even sleeping in his
own room at all.

Pippin stood there, torn between fright and sudden nervousness. They
had made the Promise to each other less than eight hours ago and
Pippin was still worried that Merry would change his mind, that he
would not want Pippin in the same way that Pippin wanted him now. So
he stood there frozen by indecision at the door. Merry watched him
with an expression of part amusement and part annoyance on his face.
Pippin had never been shy and Merry hated that he doubted him still.

"Pippin," he said, motioning to the other side of the bed as another
loud thunderclap made Pippin jump. Pippin scrambled to the bed and
immediately dove under the covers. Merry pulled them back and smiled
at Pippin reassuringly. "We don't have to do anything tonight Pippin."
Fear of rejection crept back into Pippin's eyes and Merry continued.
"I don't want you to doubt my love for you." He held up his hand and
showed Pippin the ring he wore. "This is my promise to you, Pippin,
that I truly love you and I'll always love you no matter what. You
have to believe me." Pippin saw the distress in Merry's face and
nodded.

"I do believe you, Merry, it's just, well…" he stopped and laughed at
himself. "I'm worrying myself for nothing." He grabbed Merry's hand
and held it tight. "It took a while, but we're here now, and nothing
can change that." Merry nodded and leaned in to seal that with a kiss.
The kiss was more passionate than the one they'd shared earlier and
Pippin felt that every fiber of his being was in that kiss and the
emotion swelled up in him and he moaned aloud in Merry's mouth, giving
Merry the opportunity to slide his tongue past Pippin's parted lips,
causing the both of them to moan in unison. Merry thought that he'd
experienced everything there was to kissing, but kissing Pippin was
unlike anything he'd ever felt before. His whole being was wrapped
into that clashing of lips and teeth and tongue and hot, wet
loveliness. Then Pippin took the initiative and pushed Merry onto his
back, not breaking the kiss as he rolled on top of him. Merry groaned
in pleasure when the weight of Pippin's body landed on a certain place
on his body and Merry realized the effect that Pippin had on him and
the responding effect that he had on Pippin. They both groaned as
Pippin pushed against him and a flame was lit in Pippin's belly. He
stopped kissing Merry for a moment and looked into his eyes, the
desire there as plain as anything. His lips moved to Merry's jaw and
his ears and down to his collarbone, leaving wet little kisses
wherever he could reach.

"Oh, mercy, Pippin," Merry gasped when Pippin bit lightly on his ear.
He suddenly felt that they had way too many clothes on and that it was
way too hot for so many. He told this to Pippin, who laughed and sat
up, throwing off his nightshirt with a flourish. He let Merry's eyes
roam across his almost naked form before he got up and looked at Merry
expectantly. Merry grinned and threw off his own with as much abandon
as Pippin had. They sat there, caressing each other's bodies with
their eyes until Pippin reached out tentatively and ran his hand
across Merry's naked chest. He seemed almost childlike in his
exploration of Merry's body and the feather-light touches were driving
Merry mad. Finally he pulled Pippin to him and kissed him full on the
mouth, their bare chests touching and Pippin moaned at the contact.

"Merry," he whispered urgently, needing more. Merry dipped his head
down and licked and kissed his way from Pippin's jaw down to a nipple.
He licked it and it became instantly erect as Pippin gasped with
sudden delight. Merry clamped his mouth on it and Pippin held onto
Merry's shoulders to keep himself from falling off of the bed. The
little gasps and pants coming from Pippin were driving Merry as mad as
when Pippin was touching his chest and he relinquished the nipple with
a sigh and looked up at Pippin. Pippin surprised him by tackling Merry
and pushing him down on the bed and attacking Merry's own nipple
licking and nipping at it. He administered to the one, and then turned
his attentions to the other, making sure that Merry was getting the
full treatment before pulling up and attacking Merry's mouth with a
feral abandon that both alarmed and excited Merry as Pippin plundered
his mouth with his tongue. Pippin began to push against Merry again
rhythmically. Merry felt a fire start to build in his belly and
indulged in a moment of the rocking before stilling Pippin's motions.
He wanted this to last as long as possible.

"What is it, Merry?' Pippin asked in a strained voice. Merry smiled at
Pippin's eagerness and gave him a light kiss.

"We need to take this slow, Pip. I don't want to finish before I'm
ready." Pippin's expression was pained but he nodded.

"Okay Merry." A sudden thought struck him. "Have you ever done this
before, Merry?" Merry was startled by the question and thought about
it.

"Once. I was about your age and I was curious. I…" An odd look came
into Merry's eyes and he stopped, swallowed hard, and continued. "I
didn't really know much about sex and I wanted to learn without
getting a lass pregnant. I… experimented with another lad who was
older and knew what to do. He taught me some things and…" He stopped
now and tears came to his eyes. Pippin brushed them away with his
thumb and kissed Merry softly. Merry took a shaky breath and
continued. "Then somehow my father found out. He found us, one night,
together, and threatened the other lad and told him to never come near
me again and he took me home and beat me, telling me the whole time
that I was unnatural and that what I was doing was against Nature.
That's why… why I pushed you away." Pippin had tears in his eyes as he
leaned down and kissed Merry gently on the lips.

"You aren't unnatural Merry, and we aren't against Nature," Pippin
said in a reassuring voice. "If we were against Nature, we wouldn't be
in this world. There's nothing in this world, here in the Shire, that
isn't supposed to be here. So you father is wrong and anyone who
agrees with him is wrong." Merry nodded at Pippin and wiped his eyes.

"I'm so very sorry, Pippin. I just, I convinced myself that my father
was right and I…" Pippin silenced Merry's apology with a kiss that
turned heated almost instantly with the outpouring of love that Pippin
put into it. This time, Pippin went slow and kept his need in check.
His hands ran up and down Merry's sides and over his chest and his
lips turned to a pointed ear and he nibbled on it for a moment as he
thought.

"Whatever you want, it's yours: my life, my love, my heart, my soul
and everything I do is for you, and I'll do anything if you just let
me love you, oh please, let me love you cause all that I want is for
you to love me, just love me and not worry about anything cause you're
the only one that I love, the only thing in my world and your light
shines brightest in the darkness and oh let me do anything for you,
anything at all." Pippin didn't realize that he was rapidly whispering
these words to Merry and he had begun to gently rock against him until
he heard Merry gasp and push against him.

"Yes," Merry sighed. "Anything we both want." He turned his head and
captured Pippin's mouth as the rocking became more insistent, until
neither of them could think or speak coherently and they were unable
to vocalize anything more than grunts and groans, and soft little
gasps and moans. As they approached their climaxes, they were reduced
to lips, teeth, tongue and sweaty bodies sliding against each other in
a perfect rhythm and fluttering eyelids and guttural proclamations of
love. Merry clasped Pippin's hand, the one with the ring on it, with
his own, their rings glinting together in the candlelight and his
mouth found Pippin's and they both moaned and shuddered and released.

They lay together in the aftermath, completely spent and exhausted,
Pippin resting his head on Merry's shoulder, their hands still
clasped. Pippin lay there, listening to the crackle of the flames and
the gentle rain hitting the window, hearing a distant low rumble of
thunder, feeling the rise and fall of Merry's chest against his head
and he felt truly happy. He raised his head and looked at Merry.

"I love you Merry," Pippin said. Merry smiled and turned to face
Pippin.

"I love you too, you silly Took. It just took me a while to figure
that out." Pippin nodded.

"Well, we took the long way around, but we've finally arrived," he
said as he fell asleep against Merry. Merry chuckled as sleep began to
creep towards him.

"Aye," he agreed in a sleep filled voice. "That we did, Pip." He
closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. Outside, the rain stopped
and the moon shone bright on the blossoms in Sam's garden as they
danced in the light breeze. But inside, two content hobbits slept
peacefully and in love.

And They Lived Happily Ever After.

FIN