Love Light

 by Janet Elizabeth

 
Category: Chanslash, Incest, Romance, First-Time, Point of View,
Angst 
Rating: NC-17 
Pairing: Merry/Pippin 
Series: 
Warning: Incest, Hurt/No Comfort, Graphic Sex 
Disclaimer: I cannot claim these characters but I claim their
actions here. 
Story Notes: Sequel to GOODNIGHT MY LOVE. 
Summary: Merry finds his way back to life after his ordeal with
the Chief of the Nazgul by haning onto his love for Pippin.  

 Love Light
 by Janet Elizabeth 

 They turned out of the lane that ran between tall houses and
the outer wall of the fourth circle, and they regained the main
street climbing up to the Citadel. Step by step they went, while
Merry swayed and murmured as one in sleep. 

 THE RETURN OF THE KING: The Houses Of Healing	

 Merry could feel the shadows pressing in on him as the darkness
cloaked his sight. His most recent memory and the only one that
seemed clear at all, was of Eowyn as she slew the chief of the
Nazgul and his fell beast and the death of his liege, Theoden on
the Field of Pelennor. That was all he could see, those last
dreadful moments before the light of the world began to fade. He
didn't even remember plunging his blade into the knee of the
fell chieftain of the Nazgul. He could see and remember nothing,
until suddenly a small light appeared before him. 

 It was Pippin, his dear young cousin and he was all aglow with
all the warmth and light of love. A halo of beauty surrounded
his fair young head and he was smiling and beckoning him to come
towards all that radiance. But Merry was very tired and weak and
weary of the dark that pressed so close and seeped into his very
soul. He didn't think he could take another step and began to
sink into the gloom that was overwhelming him. 

 He could see the far off shape of Pippin, calling to him and
beckoning him back, but Merry couldn't find the strength to
fight as he fell into the foul darkness. And there he lay, for
what seemed an eternity until he heard his name called, very
faintly and not by Pippin. The voice belonged to Strider, also
known as Aragorn, son of Arathorn and the rightful heir of the
kingdom of Gondor. The sound of his friend's voice seemed to
lift the darkness a little and he was able to recall memories of
his life before that moment on the Field of Pelennor. 

 All his memories were of Pippin, from the time that they were
wee hobbit lads paddling in the puddles outside the halls of
their respective homes, while their father's talked about great
things to their last night together before Pippin was taken away
to Minas Tirith by Gandalf. And all these memories began to warm
Merry and lift the gloaming from his sight. 

 He thought of the moment when they had both been in their
Tweens and so curious about the changes their bodies had been
going through. They had snuck away from a family gathering to
spy on the lasses, as hobbit lads were supposed to do and as
they had watched the young females changing their clothing and
bathing, they had found that their bodies did not respond in the
expected way. In fact, the sight of all those jiggly bits had
scared Pippin and Merry had taken his younger cousin into his
arms for comfort. 

 Then Merry had felt the first stirring of arousal inside his
breeches as he held the young Took, all trembling and warm in
his arms. He had wondered at that and almost pushed Pippin away
then but for the fact that the younger Hobbit seemed to notice
and burrow deeper into his embrace. The next moment had been one
of shock and pleasure as he felt a warm lump press lightly
against his own and then move away. He had gasped and Pippin had
looked up at him hurriedly, his face revealing a shy and fearful
look, tinged with hope. Merry had known then that lasses were
not for him and had smiled at his young cousin. Pippin's return
grin made Merry glow warmly all over. 

 After that, it had gone from holding hands and cherishing the
warmth of their entwined digits to soft kisses that had almost
turned them away in shame, but had somehow brought them closer
together. It was when they began to tentatively touch each other
through their clothes, kiss goodnight in secret spots and rub
hardening body parts against hips and thighs that their feelings
bloomed into something deeper and more. It wasn't just the
physical but the fact that no other Hobbit could satisfy the
needs of their hearts and souls. It was unspoken between them
but always there and growing deeper every year. 

 Merry began to see dim shapes in the twilight of his dark dream
as the memory of love and joy flowed over and around him.
Strider's voice was coming clearer and nearer and Merry could
almost see what was around him. But the darkness clung to him
and he retreated again into the burgeoning flow of thought and
memory. 

 Images of him and Pippin traipsing around the Shire together,
stealing berries and mushrooms from Farmer Maggot, playing
tricks on their cousin Frodo and generally just living their
lives to the fullest. Not even their concerns for their cousin
could dissuade them from their feelings and desires. It had been
almost June of last year before they had finally taken pure
physical pleasure from each other and that had been only a
prelude to more delicious delights. 

 The memory of the night that he and Pippin had made love for
the very first time jumped clear and bright and hot from his
memory. It burned with the passion that they had both felt and
shared. The fog of night began to burn away at the thought of
his Pippin and himself in the throes of the most wonderful
sensations. 

 Both had been a little afraid of what came next after the night
they had spent using their mouths and hands to bring each other
to climax after climax and slightly unsure of what to do,
neither of them being rural hobbits with any experience in
animal husbandry. But after a puzzling evening of watching a
male and female badger do what comes naturally, they had still
been confused as to how two males achieved the same end. 

 It had been early morning, just before dawn and they had been
walking towards their cousin Frodo's house. As it was very
early, they didn't expect to see either Frodo or Sam about and
had hoped to linger along in the pre-dawn light holding hands
and just enjoying the coming day. They had been utterly
surprised by the small noises that could be heard coming from
the window leading to Frodo's study. The noises were only
obvious if you were close to the house, as they were and they
sounded like soft grunting, moans and the quiet sound a forge
bellows makes as you pump the air from it. The two young Hobbits
had stopped to listen, puzzled but ready to leap through the
window if necessary to help Frodo if it proved he was in need.
In the next moment, they were astounded by the clear words that
floated through the half open window. 

 "Oh Sam!" came Frodo's soft, breathy voice. "Please my love, oh
please!" 

 This declaration was followed by the continued sounds of two
Hobbits exhaling and inhaling deeply, their moans floating on
quavering voices with the unmistakable sounds of extreme
pleasure. 

 Both Pippin and Merry had glanced at each other briefly, only
to reassure the other that they were going to spy, before they
crept quickly to the window. They searched around for something
to stand on so that both could see at the same time and having
found Sam's discarded wheelbarrow, they upturned it quietly and
clambered on top. Carefully they peered through the half open
window, making sure they didn't disturb anything on the sill and
were astonished at what they could see. 

 There had been Frodo and Sam, engaged in what they had only
just that morning witnessed the two badgers, two ducks and a
rooster and chicken doing. Each of their faces had worn a sly
smile as they climbed down from their perch and set it upright
again. After rearranging things so that nothing was amiss, Merry
had grabbed Pippin by the hand and scampered them both off to a
quiet place down the end of Bagshot Row. 

 There, as they huddled behind wild thicket of bramble and bush,
they had quickly shucked their clothes not caring who found
them. At the sight of each other's naked bodies, their members
had taken no time at all to become aroused. Silently, Pippin had
turned around and assumed the position he had seen Frodo take
with Sam, presenting his plump, creamy buttocks and back to his
cousin. Quivering with anticipation, Merry had approached his
cousin with his turgid member thrusting out like a new grown
blade of grass. It was only unfortunate that neither of them
knew to provide some sort of lubrication for what Merry had done
next, as Pippin almost fainted from the pain of Merry's attempt
to push himself inside. It was luck that they only startled a
small flock of sparrows in the bushes around them and that none
of the neighbors came out to find two red faced and tearful
Hobbits racing along and pulling on clothes as best they could. 

 A few weeks went by before they attempted to try the act again,
but this time armed with more information and a bottle of
cooking oil that Pippin had lifted from the Great Smials
kitchens. Their second attempt had gone much better and had in
fact been a wonderful experience for them both. But things began
to change again after that. 

 Frodo had to leave the Shire and the two cousins, along with
Sam, had planned to accompany them. Realizing that their lives
would be different outside the Shire and that they would have
less opportunity to take pleasure in these stolen moments, their
hearts began to ache with an unnamed feeling. The road to
Rivendell, which is where their road led to, had been harsh and
the two youngsters had grown closer than ever. 

 By the time they had achieved The Last Homely House, they had
been weary not only of the road but of the hardships endured by
themselves and their beloved companions. Their hearts had been
full and yet they had not felt free to express what their souls
held. That is, until the night that they had volunteered to help
Frodo take the Ring south. In his darkness, Merry remembered
that night when he had confessed his love for Pippin. 

 They had trudged back tot their rooms, proud but also afraid.
For despite Elrond's misgivings and Gandalf's despair over their
youth and inexperience, they were very aware of what might lay
ahead. They said nothing to each other as they readied
themselves for bed. Finally, after they had settled beneath
their covers and snuggled together had Merry felt free to speak.


 "Pippin?" whispered Merry. 

 No reply came. 

 "Pippin?" Merry had said more insistently. 

 With a sigh, the young Took had replied. 

 "What is it Merry? I'm very tired and we've just volunteered to
go on a very dangerous quest, where I'm sure there won't be very
good meals nor feather beds like this one. I would like to enjoy
it as much as possible, if you please!" Said Pippin with a yawn.


 Merry said nothing and only lay there in silence, hugging his
younger cousin's body to his own while the feelings in his heart
began to ache and overflow. He began to cry and as he lay there
in the dark, snuggled up tight with his most beloved companion.
He tried not to shiver and shake as the tears rolled silently
down his cheeks, but he must have failed at his attempt to hide
his hurt from Pippin, because in the next moment, one soft, warm
hand rested upon his wet cheek and began to wipe the tears away.


 "Shhhhh, my dear Merry." came Pippin's sweet soft voice. "Don't
cry, I love you and that will see us and Frodo and Sam and all
the rest of the company through. Love will see us through. Now
don't fret, I love you!" 

 His heart had burst at that moment and all the love he felt for
Pippin came pouring out in a jumbled confession. That had
destroyed sleep for both of them that night as they talked of
their feelings until early dawn kissed the sky. The thought of
that moment seemed to shine as bright as the noon sun on a snow
capped mountain. 

 Then the darkness fled before that beautiful memory and Merry
was gazing into the blue-grey eyes of his friend Strider. He
smiled weakly at his old friend the Ranger and received a gentle
smile in return. 

 "Sleep now my brave little friend. You are safe and returned to
us from the darkness. Be at peace." Said Aragorn. 

 But Merry reached out for his hand as the future king of Gondor
turned to go and clasped it gently. 

 "Pippin?" he whispered. 

 Aragorn smiled gently again and laid a hand on Merry's head. 

 "Never fear Meriadoc. Your friend is not far and will be here
soon. Now rest and when you awake, the two of you may be
together until the war progresses once again." Said Aragorn as
he gently disengaged his hand from Merry's. 

 With that, Merry was content and closed his eyes to dream of
the light of love. 

 The End