Title:  Pain
Author: Midhiel
Author's Mail: midhiel@yahoo.com
Pairings:  Elrond/ Orc.
Rate: 17/c
Warnings: Rape, Mpreg, Child Abuse.
Genre: Tragedy
Summary:  LITTLE ELROND IS PREGNANT AFTER A RAPE. But for how much
time he would be able to keep the baby. It is not a happy ending.
Celeborn POV.


Chapter Title:  The Pain of the Star

Preface: Elrond and his brother Elros are preteens, so they have not
made their choice yet. Elrond is not an elf and Elros is not human.
They are prisoners from Maglor, dweling in a residence that belongs to
him. Celeborn doesn't meet them yet. Elrond and Elros have a mentor, a
man, who takes care of them.

Celeborn's  POV.

Oh, the Valars! I hate orcs so much! Look what they have done to that
poor little boy. And Galadriel, my beloved wife, she has watched
everything through her mirror.

*"Oh, they had no mercy!" she confessed me two months ago. The story
turned my stomach up, but she was so despaired that I realized it was
my duty try to less her pain. So I listened every word as I tried to
hide my horror and repulsion. "The two boys were playing in the forest
alone. But it seemed safe, even for me. One of them, the tallest,
decided to explore a lake as his brother warned him it was late. He
didn't hear him, so he took off his robes and began to swim. The other
tired to wait, turned back and left him alone. And I saw, Celeborn,
with my elvish eyes, how a dozen of orcs ran toward the boy and caught
him. These beasts had been hidden behind enormous rocks and plants.
They carried him to a place, far from there and the leader took his
wounded body, over and over. The child cried out, he called for his
brother, for his friends, but nobody heard him. A half past hour later
they left him there, naked and injured."

My wife had tears running across her pale cheeks; I took her in my
arms and placed my lips in her golden hair. But I could not comfort
her.

"I watched because I wanted to help. But… I could not." she sobbed
disconsolate as I stroked her cheeks softly, in an attempt to clean
them. "I felt so impotent, so sad! I screamed as if this act could
prevent him. I could not safe him. Hours later, after the sunset, his
friends found him. They wrapped his tortured body in a velvet blanket
and took him away from there. Then I could hear his name, it was
sildarin, it was Elrond, Elwing's son."*

And now, two months has passed, Galadriel could not sleep for at least
four nights. Horrible nightmares invaded her dreams. She suffers so
much for this boy. She said he reminded her of our daughter. I cannot
think about it. If something happened to our little Celebrian, I do
not know what I would do. Murder every orc in Middle Earth. I do not
think it would bring me peace. But I prefer to think about how I would
introduce myself when I arrive to the residence, in Maglor's land.

They are expecting me, since several days ago. Last week, Galadriel
saw in her mirror once more, and she found Elrond was suffering an
unknown disease. He has recovered from his wounds. His body is better,
but not his soul. He lost his appetite for almost two weeks, and now
he has started to throw up every meal he eats, every liquid he drinks.
We, as elves, are concerned. Besides, he is also an elf, well, a half
elf, but the blood from our people is running in his veins and we
cannot ignore that. That is why Galadriel and I have offered Maglor
our help. With our elvish skills, I hope we can heal him.

His family is as worried as we are. His brother wants to join him,
stay at his side, but he feels ashamed and doesn't let him. We suffer
for him too. His name is Elros.

Well, after this long and painful trip, I am here. Knocking on the
silver gate.

"Let me introduce myself. My name is Celeborn of Doriath. I came to
see and, I hope, to heal the young master Elrond." I ask courteously
as the female nodded with sign of approval. She steps back and guides
me toward a large chamber.

It is almost empty only four wooden seats and a table from marble. I
see someone, looking absently through a high window. An old man. As I
come inside, he turned toward me and smiled me weakly, as much as his
pain allows him.

"Your presence brings peace to my hurting heart. I am Elrond's
mentor." his words does not soothe my soul. I approach him slowly, my
concern exposed in my face.

"How is he, sir?" I ask him eagerly. The man gives me a miserable look
and shakes his head with sadness.

"He threw up his breakfast again. And I can assure you it was only
fruits and water. This disease is so mysterious for us. He is really
thin. He spends all day in his chambers, lying on his bed. Sometimes,
at night, I hear him cry." he sounds so depressed. I do not dare to
ask. After a long pause he ads. "It so weird. His body, so slender,
but that bulge." I open my eyes surprised. I have suspected it.

"A bulge on his stomach?" I ask trying to seem casual. The man is so
sorrowful; he does not note my anxiety.

"Yes, it is just a slight swell. But it worries me." He replies
relieved as he thinks that his symptoms seem familiar to me.

"Did you touch it?" he shakes his head heavily.

"We noted it, but we were waiting for you. You are a wise elf. Elrond
is an half elf, we think his disease is not from his human side." He
explains as I wonder if they look at me as their only hope.

"I would like to examine him, sir." I say quickly.

"As you can imagine he is resting in his chambers. I will lead you."
He approaches the door and begins to walk slowly as I follow him
through a long hall.

"Does he know I am here?" I ask him worriedly. I know, in these
special cases, the bond between the patient and his healer has to be
strong and open.

"Yes, he does. I spoke with him a couple of days ago. He is still
reluctant to meet new people but he actually wants to heal. So I
believe he will cooperate." The man sounds optimistic and that makes
me feel released.

We arrived to a wooden and tall door. The man knocks quickly and opens
it slowly.

"Elrond?" he asks softly as he comes inside. I follow him and find a
big room with a lot of books. You can see them over the seats, the
tables, and the wardrobe. And near the balcony, there is a large bed
with a quiet form, resting on it. The boy looks at the man and then at
me, amazed. "He is Lord Celeborn, Elrond. The elf who wants to heal
you."

A tender smile draws in my lips when I see those tired eyes regarding
me with hope.

"Could you leave us alone?" I ask the man gently. He nods and closes
the door behind him.

As soon as he left I approach the bed silent. The boy shifts slowly so
I can sit on there. I looked into his weary face, his slim and
tormented body and realized he is almost a child. As Galadriel he
reminds me of Celebrian, just a few years younger. Then I remember
something. I search inside my pocket and show him a silver leaf. His
eyes open with admiration as he observes the elvish jewel.

"This is a gift from my wife." I offer him tenderly.

"Is this from the elves?" he asks anxiously as he takes it rapidly. I
nod, smiling.

"We know our blood is in your veins, Elrond. You should be proud of
it." I say.

"I am. Those books are in sildarin." He explains as he extends his
hand to show me his beloved tomes.

"Do you know sildarin?" I ask him surprised.

"Yes." He replies proudly. "I wish I could practice it with you."

"Of course." I smile warmly. I start to love this child with all my
heart. "But later. Now I want to examine you first. Are you agreed?"

Elrond nods seriously and lies down carefully.

"I have never been sick before." He whispers timidly. "I do not know
what to do."

I caress his cheek in signal of affection. The boy smiles relieved. He
wears a large tunic that I lift cautiously. As soon as I rest my eyes
in his pale skin, I realize the slight bulge in his abdomen, exactly
as Galadriel and I suspected.

"That is not going to hurt you, Elrond." I anticipate as I see his
scared eyes looking at me. "And if it does, you should tell me."

He nods quickly and shuts his eyes. This is his first time, and he
seems very shy.

I feel how his body shivers as I place my hands on his stomach, so I
rub his arm smoothly. I begin to press the area gently with my
fingerprints. As I thought I can feel a mass beneath the skin. I note
his abdomen is soft and tender. I run my fingerprints across it and
press different regions, until I find a tiny energize coming from
inside. The babe is alive.

So I rest my eyes in his embarrassed face. I caress his cheek once
more as I make him open his eyes.

"It did not hurt, didn't it?" I say as a way to comfort him.

"No, it was odd; feeling your hands over my stomach, but it did not
hurt." He explains slowly. Then he ads eagerly.  "Do you know what is
wrong with me?"

"Yes, I do. " I reply trying to sound relaxed. How do I start, I
think. After a pause I begin. "Elrond, you know elves are not exactly
as humans. You are studying us." He listens my words intently. "So, we
can have experiences that are denied for the men. You know that women
are the ones who can carry children in her wombs, right?  Men cannot
do that. But things are different between the elves. There are special
cases. Sometimes a male elf can develop a magic womb and can bear a
child if he "lies" with another male." I pronounce the word lays as
casual as I can, I do not want to bring him back those awful memories.
Elrond does not note it; he is so concern about his health. So I
continue with my difficult explanation. "You are not sick, my young
mellon."

"So why do I throw my meal? I am tired and weak." He says worried.
Then I know I have to tell him the truth. But the boy says before I
can. "Am I with child?" His painful eyes fixed on me.

"I think so, Elrond." I reply as I hold his trembling body strongly.
"But you are not alone." I add quickly. "You are not the first one, I
have seen a lot of male elves carrying their children and I assure you
there is nothing to worry about it. Do not be afraid, my brave
mellon."

I feel his arms across my back, holding me firmly as if he is afraid
of I could leave him. And I note my chest wept by his tears.

"But you do not have to do it if you do not want it, Elrond." I say
softly as I stroke his dark head kindly. "I can remove it from you. I
just need some days to be sure you have recovered some strength."

"No, please." He cries sadly with his head still resting on my chest
and his hands wrapping me in a tight embrace. "I do not want you to
harm my babe." 

I jump, surprised. I would never expect this reply. This young one,
scared, with his body still tortured, with his soul, full of unhealed
wounds, wants to keep a child inside him, a child fathered by an orc.
A child that could be… a monster. I have no words.

"Did you feel my baby?" He asks nervously as he pulls me away slowly.
I nod tenderly. "Do you know if it is safe?"

"I felt its light. Your child seems safe and healthy." I smiled
sincerely.

"I had a horrible experience two months ago. This child can bring me
the happiness that those beasts stolen me that day." He explains
hopeful as he places his hands on his stomach and rubs it sweetly.

"Elrond." It is painful but I must say it. "Your babe, you fathered
with one of those…beast. We do not know abouted its blood. I do not
want to scare you but it is dangerous."

"I will raise my child, even if its face reminds me of the monster
that attack me. And it will be a good child." He assumes resolutely as
he looks down at his abdomen. "When my mother left, I felt unsecured
and gloomy. I do not want to leave my own child."

"All right, Mellon-nîn." I reply tenderly. "You know you are not
alone, we are here to support you."

"Hannon le." He sighs weary.

TBC

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Chapter Title: As Months pass


I decided to stay here as much as Elrond needs me. I wrote a letter to
Galadriel where I explained to her what is happening. Of course, she
is agreed with me. It seems as if she told our daughter about Elrond,
because I received a hand painted card from Celebrian to my brave
patient.  His eyes turned glassy when he read it. Then he began to ask
me about my family and I told him a couple of stories. He is really
interested in our culture. I am sure, when the moment comes, he will
decide to become an elf.

His baby is growing healthy. Today when I came to examine him I could
see his swollen form beneath his tunic. A place my hand on there and
he asked me quickly when he would start to feel its movements. I
laughed warmly and reminded him he would have to wait one year for the
birth, so he did not have to be so anxious.

Well, I lied to him, because Galadriel and I acted exactly in the same
way.

His family is there for him all the time. His brother searches for a
time to spend with him and yesterday I found him caressing his abdomen
kindly as Elrond rested peacefully.

But I told his mentor the truth. I said to him that we had not to
expect hopefully. I do not. He is really young, his body has not
completely developed and the babe seems to be big. Besides, this child
has blood from an orc. It has evil blood. But as Elrond thinks, the
love from its parent could erase this malice.
                                                 
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Almost two months later. Elrond is really happy. His nausea has
disappeared and he can walk and sometimes he plays with Elros. When I
see them playing and running, I realize he is just a boy, with an
adult responsibility. But I have faith. I talk to him a lot. It is
amazing how smart he is. He knows his duty as a parent and even if he
would commit thousands of mistakes, he would raise a good child. I
hope -Oh, the Valars, do not let him die- he could survive the
childbirth, because he would become one of the wiser elves. His
knowledge and his love could bring happiness and glory to our people.

Today his most desired dream became true. He was in the garden,
sitting on the grass, when I noted he grinned as he began to rub his
stomach tenderly. He turned to me gladly and called me. I approached
him quickly and sat at his side.

"What happens, Mellon-nîn?" I asked tenderly. He smiled happily as a
reply.

"Feel it." He said as he took my hand and rested it on his stomach. I
felt a slightly move from there, Elrond began to laugh amused. I
embraced him strongly and then I stood up fast and ran toward the
house.

Every one placed the hand on his stomach and felt the unborn child.

Before sleeping, Elros has stayed at his side and I could hear his
laughs, full of hopes and dreams. I begin to believe that, perhaps, if
you have faith, your dreams will come true.

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How could I write these painful words? Is there chance gladness would
exist again in Middle Earth? I am going to start, -I do not know from
where-, as long as my tears and pain allow me. Last night I fell
asleep as soon as I rested my head over the pillow.

I cannot remember if it was a hour, perhaps two, when I heard strong
knocks on my door.

"Please, quickly, Lord Celeborn!" A voice asked me despaired. I got up
as fasten as I could and opened it. It was Elros, looking at me
disconsolate. "My brother. He is crying. Abdominal pains." I did not
wait for another word. We ran along the hall as I have never run
before.

I opened the door and found him. He was curled on his largest bed with
his arms across his chest, sobbing miserable. He was just five months
along but as his body has not completely developed, he seemed as if he
had been twelve months along.

"Elrond. Child . I am here." Those were the only words, which came
from my mind as I walked toward the bed. I reached out my hand and
stroked his hair smoothly. He opened slowly his eyes injected with
blood and shut them again, because he could see the sorrowful in my
own look. I knew there was not hope anymore. I sat on the bed
leisurely and placed my hand on his swollen stomach. His soft skin
seemed tough. I pressed slightly to probe it. But the scream from
Elrond made me stop.

"It hurts, I am sorry, mellon." I said tenderly, but I could not find
a way to comfort him. I rested my hand over his trembling shoulder and
then caressed his cheek, in a desperate intent to gain his attention.
"Elrond, please, let me examine you. I have to do it."

"It is over." He sighed depressed between his moans.

"I will be able to answer you after the examination." He moved his
hands resignedly and gave me the gloomiest look I have ever seen.

One more time, I caressed his cheek lovingly and cleaned his tears.
Then I placed my opened hand on his stomach and pressed as gently as I
could. It was too tough. I saw his face invaded by the anguish but he
did not cry. I sighed desolately and pressed it again. This time I
could feel his abdominal muscles trembling. But I could not feel the
baby.

"Elrond." I called him softly. He opened his grey eyes tiredly.
"Forgive me, but I must push it stronger. If I do not, I will not feel
your child."

"I cannot feel it either. I do not feel it anymore." He groaned
surrounded by despair.

I rested my hand again and started to press in different areas
tightly. His stomach seemed a ball from steel. I tried to ignore his
anguished screams; I knew he had never suffered so much pain in all
his life. But I did not feel anything. And then the tiny hope I still
possessed, forsook me.

The chamber began to fill with people. Elros had called them. But I
asked them to leave me alone with Elrond. They obeyed and left the
chamber, lowering their heads.

"My baby, is not alive." He whispered wearily. I took his shivered
hand and kissed it gently.

"I will give you a tea. Your pains will disappear." I said slowly as
he shook his head disconsolate. Then I realized the sheet with fresh
blood. I lifted it carefully and noted the blood came from his under
leg. The birth canal was opened. That gave me new strength, if I acted
quickly, I would not lose Elrond. "The tea will soften your stomach. I
am sorry, mellon, but I have to push it with my hands to expel
the…baby."

He sobbed again. It was terrible.

"My stomach hurts too much." He cried. "Please, give me the tea."

I stroked his back smoothly and stood up quickly.

He opened his trembling lips slowly and drank the liquid with effort.
I stayed at his side, sitting on the bed as we waited for the tea to
made effect. I stroked his dark hair tenderly as I heard his miserable
moans.

"Are you still in pain?" I asked him softly when he lifted his tired
head to look at me. Elrond shook his head wearily. I placed my hand on
his stomach and noted it was less tough. I started to rub it in small
circles gently. "This will help your stomach to soften. Then we will
be prepared to expel the babe." He did not reply, just shut his eyes
gloomily.

Hours later I helped him to lie down carefully. Then I poked and
rubbed his abdomen, trying to make the unborn descend.

"I can feel its body, descending." He whispered sadly. "It is weird."
I smiled painfully. How could I console him? There were no words,
there was no caress, and there was no embrace. When it head came to
his lower abdomen, near his hips, I pressed it tightly to guide it
toward the birth canal. Elrond shivered when I did it. I continued to
push with my hands.

"Elrond, please, open your legs." I commanded him kindly. He sighed
desolated. It will be over soon. A river of blood ran across the white
sheet. Elros was behind his brother, ready to receive the body. He
could not repress a scream of horror when he saw the tiny head
emerging from Elrond. The suffering boy began to moan when he heard
his brother's cry. I approached Elros rapidly and looked at the death
babe.

"It….is …an orc." Elros murmured heartbreaking as he gave me a
disconsolate look. I rested my hand in his shoulder smoothly and made
him a signal to remind silent. I returned to Elrond's side and kissed
his head gently.

"Be strong, Mellon-nîn. We are here for you." I said these words
tenderly. Then I place my hands in his stomach over and continued
pressing.

I cannot remember if it was sunrise, the chamber was so dark. But I do
remember the painful sensation in my fingerprints when the body made
its last move to descend completely from Elrond's. I took his pale
hand kindly as he reminded groaning, with the eyes shut. There was so
much agony for his young soul.

Quickly Elros wrapped the babe in a clean sheet and approached me
gravely. I hold the tiny body softly and looked at the little face.
His skin seemed pale as his half elf parent, but the features reminded
of an orc. Its body was not developed, so I could not determine if it
was a male or female. I approached Elrond's side and passed the
minuscule body into his hands. The boy blinked perplexed as he curled
his tired arms to receive his beloved child. His eyes fixed in the
facial appearance as he smiled caringly.

"I love you." He whispered painfully. His fingers caressed the tiny
skin. "I wish you could know it." He passed me the babe with the eyes
full of tears. I took the body as he sank his head on my chest
aguishly.

Elros stood still at his side, looking at him gloomily. I placed the
babe on Elros' hands slowly and embraced my friend strongly. I let him
cry, during hours, disconsolate.
                                   
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Maglor allowed him to bury the body under a tree, in the garden. I
regarded his face in the ceremony and felt the agony through his tired
eyes. His brother remained at his side and I realized Elros gave him
the support he needed.

His heart would heal in years perhaps, but he would carry this wound
for the rest of his life.

Weeks later we received an unexpected visit. Galadriel came with our
little girl. She had looked everything through her mirror and wanted
to know if Celebrian's joyful could bring him some peace and relief.

I invited Elrond to join us in the garden, but he preferred to stay at
his child's grave. Galadriel glanced at me worried but I shook my head
painfully.

Celebrian, who did not understand what was happening, ran toward the
boy and sat on the grass near him. Elrond was kneeling on the ground,
moaning. My daughter looked at him surprised. She could not see
visible wounds, so she did not know why he was sad. Then she realized
the stone tomb.

"Do you know whom it belongs?" She asked concerned. Elrond rested his
grey eyes on her and sighed deeply.

"It belongs to someone I love." He said laconic. Celebrian took his
hand between hers and kissed them kindly.

"It should be painful.  You cannot see him, but he can see you." She
admitted slowly.

"I do not think so." He said sorrowfully. "I do not believe he or she
can see me. I do not believe he or she can know me."

I ran toward them and took Celebrian into my arms quickly. The girl
kissed my cheek but she remained looking at Elrond.

"Why is he so sad, Ada?" She asked me perplexed.

"Go to play with Elros." I said as I set her down. The girl ran toward
her mother who was waiting for her with her arms open. I sat on the
ground near Elrond, the boy continued looking at the tomb. After a
while I said softly.

"Your child knows you, Elrond." He did not reply, just stayed with his
eyes fixed on the grave. I reached off my hand and caressed his cheek
tenderly as I did so many times before.

"My child never had the chance to know me." He sighed at the verge of
tears. "My child was born already died."

I hugged his trembling body and rested my lips on his hair kindly.

"But your child had the chance to live, Elrond." I replied tenderly.
"And he did it inside you."

"Do you think my child knew me?" He moaned. But I could hear hope
beneath his words.

"What do you think, Elrond? Your body was the only place your child
knew, there your babe felt safe and warmth until the light
extinguished."  

"And do you believe my baby was happy?" He asked me expectantly as I
felt him as what he was, a despaired boy.

"You were happy, Elrond, so your child felt the same." I answered
smoothly.

We remained embraced as the sunset sprayed its orange lights on the
grave.
  
The End