Title: Hurting An Angel
Author: Alexa Bond        2/4/03 
Disclaimer: This never happened unless I have psychic powers and can 
change the past, present and future. Any likeness to real characters is all in 
your mind, nothing more. This is fiction, made up, never happened, not 
real…. you want that in other languages as well? *LOL*
I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make 
no money off it. 
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the 
author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without 
permission of the author. 
Timeline: Set during the filming of LOTR. 
Universe: LOTR RPS 
Romance: Sean B./Orli
Summary: There are many ways to hurt someone…but you only hurt the 
ones you love
Archiving: List archive and Green Opals [http://greenopals.150m.com/ ] 
may take it; others please ask. 
Feedback: Yes, please. If you want more fics from me that is *G*. My 
email is alexabond2000@yahoo.com  
Rating: PG-13 or a very mild R
Warnings: RPS, mild violence, mild hints of child abuse. 
Series: None
Author’s notes:  My SB/OB fics seem to insist on being….a whole lot less 
healthy than my SB/VM fics….hmm…
Great thanks to Joelle for beta. 
 
*	*	*
 
Sean sat in the half dark living room, the clock on the wall ticking away 
seconds. The sound seemed loud in the otherwise quiet room; the only 
other sound was Sean’s breathing and the sound of glass against glass 
when Sean put his glass of bourbon back on the glass table. His eyes 
found the wall clock again; almost 1 AM. Orli should have been here five 
hours ago. He shifted between anger and worry. Maybe he was hurt and 
couldn’t tell him? Or maybe…he just didn’t care about the time…His eyes 
darkened. Maybe he was out with someone else. The thought made anger 
light up in his green eyes and he took another large swallow of bourbon, 
not really tasting as it burned its way down his throat. He took a deep 
breath, forcing himself to be calm. It wasn’t like he owned Orli; he knew 
he didn’t. Hell, Orli did his best to remind him every fuckin’ day that he 
didn’t. They had made no vow and there had been no rules. Sean had 
heard the rumors that Orli had practically been with everyone on the set 
and when Sean had carefully brought it up with the younger man one day, 
he hadn’t denied it. The warm hugs and kisses Orli shared with everyone 
in the cast had begun to draw on Sean’s nerves when all he could think 
about was Orli in their arms and in their beds. 

A sudden noise from the front door tore Sean out of his thoughts. Orli 
stepped through the door and waved to someone outside as a car sped 
away. 

“You’re late,” Sean tried to keep his voice carefully neutral as he rose 
from the sofa, his half empty glass still in his hand. 

“I didn’t know I had a curfew,” Orli protested with a smile, walking a little 
uncertainly towards him. Sean’s eyes narrowed. Here he had been worried 
sick, and Orli had been out getting wasted?!

“We had an appointment,” Sean reminded him, making no move to go 
towards his lover. Orli shrugged as he stopped before Sean, so close that 
he could smell the liquor on his breath.

“Where were you?” the question was out his mouth before he could stop 
it. He didn’t need to know…he really didn’t. Something in Orli’s eyes 
made him sure he didn’t want to know either. Orli’s eyes settled on 
something behind Sean’s shoulder.

“At Vig’s,” the voice was low but seemed like a yell in the small room. 
Sean’s hand squeezed hard around his glass, fire lighting up his eyes. 

“What? All Viggo’s phones were dead?” he couldn’t keep the sarcasm and 
bitterness out of his voice though it remained carefully controlled.

“Not as far as I know,” Orli’s eyes were on his face now, studying it 
carefully as Sean fought to keep his anger and jealousy back. He made 
fists, tightening his grip on the glass in his hand.

“I was worried for you and you went and fucked my best friend,” his voice 
had risen a bit and his grip on the glass got so tight that it broke in his 
hand, sending splinters of glass into his flesh. Pieces of glass with drops of 
blood and bourbon dropped to the floor. Neither of them noticed. Orli’s 
eyes lit up with anger of his own.

“Oh, yeah….that’s right. I fucked your best friend. That’s me…I fuck 
everybody or haven’t you heard?” his voice had risen as well, anger, 
bitterness and sarcasm dripping from it. An image of Orli in Viggo’s arms 
came to Sean as clear as a photograph. His best friend…. 

“Shut up!” Without thinking Sean reached for Orli with his left hand, held 
his shirt in a tight grip as he lifted his right hand for a stroke.

“Go ahead,” there was something close to contempt in Orli’s eyes as he 
looked straight into Sean’s deep green ones. His words broke through the 
haze of anger and feeling of betrayal that had covered Sean’s mind. He 
released Orli as if burned and his hand dropped to his side. He took a step 
back from the younger man, shocked at what he had almost done. Sean 
took his right hand to his head as to run it through his hair but the pieces 
of glass still dug painfully into his flesh. He welcomed that pain over the 
pain in his heart and simply dropped his hand back against his side, 
running his left hand through his hair instead. He had vowed to himself he 
would never hit anyone as punishment, that he would only hit someone in 
self defense. His dad had, as it was common in those days, punished him 
with a stroke instead of words when he had been disobedient as a child. 
Since then, Sean had vowed to himself never to hit his own children and 
never to hit someone unless in self-defense. He had been so close to 
breaking that vow…to turning into something he never wished to be, 
something he wouldn’t have been able to forgive himself for. 

“What are you waiting for?” Orli taunted, his eyes still ablaze with fire. 
Sean shook his head and when he found Orli’s eyes again there was only a 
deep sadness reflected in Sean’s…all traces of anger gone.

“I won’t hit you…ever. What’s not the way this’ll go down,” his voice 
was hoarse as he fought for control. He tried to get his wits about him, 
tried to find something to say…anything. “Do you love Viggo?” he settled 
with, the words almost breaking his heart.

“Not in the way you mean.”

Sean wasn’t sure if that made it better or worse. He hadn’t wanted Orli to 
love another but on the other hand, being betrayed because of love was 
easier to live with than being betrayed…just because.  

“Then why?” He wasn’t sure if he should have asked but somehow he 
needed to know. Orli seemed uncertain but then fire returned to his eyes.

“Last one on the list,” the words were angry and sarcastic. Sean winced as 
the words hit him like a dagger through his heart. In the three months he 
had been with Orli, his heart had been cut to pieces more times than he 
cared to recall. 

“Why a list in the first place?” Sean mumbled softly. He had heard the 
rumors, he knew everyone said Orli had been with almost the entire 
cast…Astin and a few others excluded of course. Sean studied Orli 
closely, the way his eyes blazed, the way he had folded his arms across his 
chest in an age-old gesture of self-protection. He didn’t look like someone 
who had just deliberately betrayed him with his best friend. He almost 
seemed…. almost seemed hurt. Suddenly Sean realised that he had never 
heard any of Orli’s supposed lovers claim they had been with him and 
Sean had never asked them. A small flicker of hope entered his mind as 
Sean wondered if Orli knew he was the kind of man who would never ask 
his friends about their past lovers, especially their past male lovers. He 
wondered if Orli had really been with anyone at al, or if it was all rumors 
based on Orli’s natural flirtation with everyone.  

“You know me…. action all the way,” Orli laughed humorlessly, almost 
hysterically. Suddenly Sean’s mind caught up with him…Orli claimed he 
had been with Viggo…

“You weren’t with Viggo, were you?” Sean’s eyes narrowed as he tried to 
put it all together.

“Oh, now I’ve not betrayed you just like that with your best friend? How 
come?” Orli’s expression was closed, his eyes squeezed together to form 
small lines.

“He’s not at home. He told me today he’d go take some photographs in the 
woods somewhere. He would sleep out there because he had early call 
tomorrow,” Sean explained, his mind working on overdrive. Orli’s façade 
seemed to fade a bit.

“So, I wasn’t with Viggo,” Orli shrugged, trying for an uncaring attitude. 
“…then I must have been with someone else. Can’t have me going out and 
not having sex,” he quickly got the sarcasm back in his voice and the 
anger in his eyes. 

“Wrong,” Sean didn’t know why, but somehow his victory felt a bit empty 
as he leaned closer to Orli. “Viggo didn’t tell me anything. As far as I 
know he’s at home.” Besides…Viggo wouldn’t betray him, and he was the 
only one who could be with Orli and know he was betraying Sean as only 
Viggo knew of his and Orli’s relationship. Viggo wouldn’t betray him; 
now that his jealousy had cooled, Sean knew that for a fact. A thousand 
thoughts went through Sean’s mind; a million feelings in less than a 
second. Questions he couldn’t ask and answers he didn’t understand 
almost made him dizzy. Orli looked at him, unsure of what to say or do 
then he suddenly turned his back on the other man.        

“Why couldn’t you just have hit me? It’ll have made it so much easier,” 
his voice was low, broken. 

“If you want to leave me then do so, but do it properly. Don’t goad me 
into doing something I don’t wish to do,” Sean said softly and reached out 
with his left hand on Orli’s shoulder and Orli let himself get turned around 
to face Sean again. Orli fought tears but they began to fall anyway. 

“Why don’t you say something? Yell at me…. throw something,” he 
mumbled, looking to the floor.

“So you can leave hating me? No, that you must do on your own,” Sean 
whispered softly. 

For some seconds neither spoke, wrapped up in their own pains they 
hadn’t told each other about. Sean couldn’t help himself and reached out 
with his left hand and gently wiped Orli’s tears away. “Why do you do so 
much to hurt me?” Sean mumbled, barely keeping tears back himself. Orli 
lifted his head and looked at Sean, a confused look in his eyes. 

“I don’t want to hurt you…” he began but then his cheeks colored. He had 
wanted to hurt him. He had felt betrayed, angry that Sean would think so 
little of him...that he apparently from the beginning had believed the 
rumors. 

“Yes, you did.”

“I guess I did,” Orli agreed softly.

“I need to know…do you want to leave me or not?” Sean’s eyes seemed to 
look right through his soul. “No more lies,” he added softly. Orli shook his 
head.

“No.”

Sean let out the breath he didn’t know he had been holding. He wasn’t 
gonna leave. A faint light of happiness shined in Sean’s eyes.

“No more lies then….no more games. Just the truth,” Sean hoped he was 
ready for that…uncertainty had its advantages; it still left hope. 

“You want to know if I’ve fucked half the crew?” Bitterness and anger 
was back in Orli’s voice.

“It’s a good place to start,” Sean managed to keep his voice emotionless as 
he answered. 

“What about trust?” Orli demanded to know.

“What about honesty?” Sean gave back, not backing down. Their eyes 
held each other’s gaze for a while until Orli broke free.

“No,” he said softly. Sean felt a surge of joy.

“You’ve not been with anyone?” he tried to keep the happiness out of his 
voice.

“Only you,” his voice was strong as his eyes met Sean’s. 

“So have I,” Sean smiled warmly though his smile faded as he thought 
about how things had been the last couple of months. “Why did you let me 
believe….?”

“I never said anything. You thought I had been with everyone…you 
thought I had been with Viggo!” Orli defended himself.

“You never led me to believe otherwise. In fact, you practically claimed to 
have done all those things yourself!” Sean protected, frustrated. “Why 
would you lie to me?” Sean shook his head to amplify he didn’t get it. 

“You should have trusted me,” Orli said sadly.

“You never gave me a reason to.” There was silence for a while.

“I was afraid,” Orli whispered. Sean listened closely, hanging on his every 
word. “I thought you…well, that you thought of me as a mere toy and…”
 
"You didn’t want to get hurt, so you figured you’ll hurt me first and make 
me leave you,” Sean finished for him.

“Yeah.” 

”But I guess that wasn’t as easy as you thought it would be,” Sean said 
softly.

“No, but then I figured that Vig was your weak link,” Orli admitting, 
flicking at the thought of what he in his bitterness and hurt had just done. 
A long silence followed. 

“Do you love me?” Orli suddenly asked. Sean fought with himself for a 
while, trying to decide whether or not to tell the truth until he realised that 
he needed to show the same amount of honesty that he wanted from Orli if 
he wanted their relationship to succeed. 

“I love you…I just don’t know if I trust you,” Sean said honestly. His 
words seem to echo in the room. Silence fell between them again as 
neither knew what to say.  

“So…where do we go from here?” Orli asked softly.

“Where do you want it to go?” 

“Can we…can we start over?” Orli whispered, his voice hopeful as he 
now knew that he stood to lose all he had wished for. Hesitantly he put his 
arms around Sean’s neck. As he didn’t draw back he pressed himself 
closer.

“Clean slate…no more lies and no more pretend?” it was a statement yet 
still a question. 

“Clean state,” Orli agreed. Sean smiled and stroked Orli’s cheek with his 
left hand; his right was loosely around Orli’s back, holding him close.

“I can’t believe you’re forgiving me,” Orli mumbled and laid his head on 
Sean’s shoulder. 

“I can’t believe you’re forgiving me for being so stupid,” Sean admitted 
before he added in all honesty “You hurt me…a lot but you were afraid 
and hurt and…” Sean sighed and shook his head. “Let’s not talk about it. 
A clean state, remember?” 

Orli nodded and drew a little back from Sean, making him release his hold 
on him.
“Clean state,” Orli vowed and their eyes met. The warmth with mixed pain 
in Sean’s eyes made Orli break the stare, his eyes falling on Sean’s still 
bleeding right hand.

“Oh, Christ,” Orli gently and carefully grabbed Sean’s right hand in both 
of his and began to drag him off to the kitchen where he ordered him to sit 
on the kitchen table. Sean followed him and let Orli fuss over the wound 
as he first picked out the last pieces of glass, then washed and finally 
found the first aid kit to bandage it. Neither spoke through all this, but the 
atmosphere was…warm, loving…. calming and soothing in a way it 
hadn’t been between them before. 

“All done,” Orli said as he had finished the bandage and packed the first 
aid kit away. Sean lifted his bandaged hand and studied Orli’s handiwork.

“Thanks,” Sean smiled at Orli as he turned back to face him. 
Automatically Orli found himself smiling back. Sean’s green eyes were on 
him like a warm blanket, the heat and admiration in them almost making 
Orli blush. 

“Y’know…. everyone always tells me I’m beautiful…looks like an Angel. 
You think so too?” Orli drew nearer to Sean, their faces so close together, 
Sean could feel Orli’s warm breath on his cheek. 

“You are beautiful, but I don’t see an angel….I see a human 
being…broken in some ways, but if you let me…I can heal that,” Sean’s 
voice was low and warm. Orli had hurt him a lot and though he could 
forgive he couldn’t forget it and he was sure Orli felt the same. It would 
take time to rebuild what had been lost but Sean was determined to make 
this work. He wouldn’t lose another person he loved. 

“I see an angel…an angel I’ve hurt, and somehow I’ll make up for that,” 
Orli whispered as his lips captured Sean’s. Sean blushed. He had been 
called many things in his life but never before had anyone called him an 
angel. 

“It’s alright,” Sean mumbled, not sure what he was answering to as he 
closed his eyes and got lost in the taste and feel of Orli. This could be the 
beginning of something stronger, something better…Sean was sure of it. 
There would be hard times, but it would be worth it in the end. They could 
make it…. Suddenly Sean was sure of that. Their kiss didn’t just promise a 
new start but a better and brighter tomorrow as well.
 
 
 
The End