Title: No Turning Back
Author: Sairalinde 
Type: RPS 
Pairing: Viggo/Sean B.
Rating: NC-17
WARNING: None (Other than this is a re-work of my very first RPS fic 
and a bit mushy.)
Beta: Glorfindel
Disclaimer: This never happened...this is total fiction...Viggo, Sean, are 
real but I make no claims on them. (Damn, wish I could.)  This was 
written in fun that's all.  None of it is real.
Feedback: Yes please send to sairalinde@hornofgondor.com
Archiving: Yes but ask first please. 
Summary/Notes: Sean has a dilemma, Viggo solves it for him. (A happily 
ever after kind of story.) This was my first EVER SLASH fic I ever wrote, 
and I recently revamped it at the prompting of a friend who read it and 
begged me to finish it. I had kind of just left it hanging for months now, so 
I wrapped it up and re-wrote some parts. Hope you all like. :)  

--------------------------
No Turning Back

Ian had been watching me watching the other man. So I sat down across 
from the legendary actor.
 
"Morning." He says practically into his teacup.
 
"Morning." I respond.
 
"Well are you going to tell him today or are you just going to keep going 
around like a lovesick teenager mooning over him the next several 
months?" Ian asks as if he was asking about the weather. 

"I have no idea what you are going on about." I say lying through my 
teeth. We had a similar conversation a week ago. 

"Hmmmfff", was his eloquent reply.

I look at him for a few minutes, and then I lean in and whisper.  

"If you mean Viggo I am just trying to figure him out is all.  Nothing like 
what you are thinking...Ian, I am not like you." 

"You mean you are not gay?" Ian asks slightly amused. 

"Well no, no I am not." I say wondering why I had to even say it if I truly 
believed it.  I am not gay.  I say again with conviction inside my head.  

"Perhaps you aren't gay, Sean, but you are infatuated with Viggo." Ian 
says setting his teacup down and tapping it lightly with his index finger.

"What?  You're crazy. I am most definitely not infatuated with Viggo or 
anyone else for that matter." I say wishing that I had sounded a bit more 
convincing. 

Ian laughs then and smiles at me.  "You mean to tell me you have never, 
ever been with another man or even at least considered it?" 

I stare at him as if he has three heads. This conversation has taken a turn it 
didn't take a week ago. Yes I have actually considered it, been a couple 
times when I was really drunk when I came damn close, but I had never 
followed through on it...I was straight...right? I have been married three 
times...I can't be gay. I certainly wasn't going to ask his opinion on that 
though. 

"Give it some more thought...give it some more thought." Ian said shaking 
his head standing up to leave.  

More thought?  All I do is think about this, ever since Viggo walked onto 
the set all I do is think about this, think about him. Fuck!   

I stand to get up and there he is, sitting with Orlando talking about 
something and gesturing with his hands. He has Aragorn's sword beside 
him on the table, the same sword he would probably use to bash my head 
in if he knew what I had been thinking about him.  I mean if roles were 
reversed wouldn't I do that with Boromir's sword? 

I grab my tea and head for our make up trailer.  I am not gay...never been 
with a man...though lately I have given it some thought...and when I was 
young and foolish I did consider it a couple times. More than considered 
it...just nearly did really...but I didn't... I chickened out for one reason or 
another.  That doesn't make me gay...I like women...their soft bodies and 
curves...yes I am just intrigued with Viggo not infatuated...Ian had it all 
wrong. I tell myself as I walk to the trailer. 

I enter the trailer and sit down in my make up chair.  Meg begins hovering 
around me, making me into Boromir as Orlando and Viggo enter laughing 
about something.  

"Morning, Sean." Orlando says smiling.

I nod in response.

"Hey Sean." Viggo says sitting down in the chair next to mine stretching 
out his jeans clad legs. 

"Hey." I say softly as Meg continues to hover around me. I look up at her, 
she's pretty, has lovely blue eyes, and beautiful jet black hair that falls all 
the way to her waist...yes I do like women.  Her breast brushes my arm 
and makes it tingle...yes indeed I do love women. I loved my wives and 
have three wonderful daughters to prove it...I am most definitely not into 
men at all. 

Viggo shifts in the chair next to mine and I glance over...his blue gray 
eyes like a wolf's looking back at me.  I feel warmth rush to my groin and 
I want to scream...no I am not attracted to him! Not another man, no this is 
NOT happening. Damn him, damn me.  Am I going through a mid life 
crisis of some kind?  Is it the divorce?  Shite, I need to get a hold of 
myself. 

Today is the Cave Troll scene.  Good, we aren't close enough to bump or 
rub or anything...wonderful.  I still find myself watching him, his lithe 
movements and perfect swordsmanship.  Fuck...stop it Sean. 

The day is over...I am exhausted.  I go back to the trailer and Viggo is 
there already. He has changed into street clothes but still has his sword and 
Aragorn's leather coat over the top.  I stand as Meg and Nina work 
removing my outer layers of clothing and fake chain mail.  They leave me 
in my tunic and breeches and I go to the back to finish changing. He is still 
there; damn him.  Why won't he just leave?

I walk past Orlando and him muttering a quick goodnight and head for the 
door.  

"Sean!" Viggo calls getting up and following me.  Damn.  

I stop just outside the door.  "Yeah?" I ask.

"You wanna work on the Rivendell meeting?" He asks.

"You want to rehearse?" I ask perplexed.  I don't need this right now...I 
really don't. 

"Yes...I think we need to work out Boromir and Aragorn's relationship, or 
lack there of." He says smiling.  Damn him, damn his smile, and blast 
those damn blue gray eyes straight to hell and back. 

"Sure." I hear myself saying and I am not quite sure when the connection 
from my brain and my mouth short-circuited. 

"Well come by my place around 7:30." He replies slapping me on the 
shoulder. I almost jumped when he did that...God what am I sixteen? I go 
home, take a shower-a fucking cold shower- and try to figure out just what 
the bloody hell has gotten into me.  

Here I am on his doorstep, script in hand...maybe I should just tell him I 
have a headache and would rather go home and sleep?  

He answers the door in paint-splattered jeans and a t-shirt that seems a bit 
too tight over his chest. The resulting effect is that it outlines his chest 
muscles more than I would like.  His hair is also still damp from his own 
shower. A muscle in my jaw jumps a bit at the image of Viggo in the 
shower that flickers through my mind. 

He invites me inside and I have a seat on the couch.  He offers me wine...I 
accept.  I definitely don't need to get drunk though, Lord only knows what 
stupid thing I will say or do if that happens.

We go over the scene a few times, then he moves very close to me.  Shite, 
what is he doing so close?  Why am I breathing harder?  Did it suddenly 
get ten degrees hotter in here? 

"Sean I think you should relax." He says softly.  Though most everything 
Viggo says is soft. Mr. Mumbles Mortensen, he is.

"What do you mean?" I ask in a near whisper, not realizing I am gripping 
my script so tight my knuckles are white.

He slips the script out of my hands and I am not sure what to do.  I realize 
that my breathing has changed...God he is too close. 

"I think you need to relax." He says again leaning toward me, closing that 
short distance. 

Before I realize what is happening his lips have descended on mine and all 
thought flees my head.  All I know now is the feel of his lips against 
mine...the heat, the softness, and the scraping of our facial hair.  When did 
I close my eyes?  

I kiss him back not even realizing I actually am...God he tastes good, like 
the wine but also something sweeter.  His hands hold my head in place but 
not demanding just holding...sliding his tongue into my mouth as he does.  
I react again, groaning slightly and he shifts positions a bit more and 
kisses me even more deeply.  His tongue sliding against mine slowly, 
lighting fire to my body.  I feel it happening the blood rushing to my groin 
in reaction to him.  What am I doing?  I am kissing my co-star...my male 
co-star at that!

Finally he breaks off the kiss and he says, "Is that better...relaxed now?" 

I just stare at him...I have no idea what to say or do. I blink several times. 

"N...No." I stammer. What just happened? 

"What can I do to relax you, Sean?" He asks rubbing his hand down the 
side of my face just light enough that I close my eyes and press my face 
closer into his hand.  His callused thumb brushes my lip and I cannot stifle 
the sigh that escapes. I open my eyes and just stare at him...I can't speak...I 
can't say what I want...I have never felt this way with another man before.

"You have never done this before have you?" He asks leaning back to look 
me in the eyes. 

"No." I answer.

"Do you want this?" He asks, his eyes dark and serious. 

I don't know what to say now. I know what THIS he is talking about and I 
have no fucking clue. 

His hand slides down to my crotch, which obviously does want something. 
I gasp when he caresses me through my jeans. Then the word escapes my 
mouth I didn't intend on saying.  

"Yes."

He smiles and his hands slide to my waistband.  He unbuttons my jeans 
and my erection pops out...damn knew I should have worn underwear.  I 
really should get up and leave...but I can't.  He licks his lips and it causes 
my cock to twitch.  Fuck...what am I doing? 

He slides into the floor in front of me, on his knees taking me into his 
warm hand. Oh God. 

Then he licks me slowly and I moan and my body betrays me more by 
pushing up into his touch.  He smiles at me.  

"Tell me you want this, Sean...or I won't do it." Viggo says softly.

"I...I want this...I want you." I say softly not sure where those words came 
from.  

He smiles again and then takes my aching cock into his mouth.  Christ he 
has a wicked tongue.  

I close my eyes and let my head tip back as his mouth does wonderful and 
wicked things in my lap.  It feels so damn good I no longer care if he is a 
man or woman...it no longer matters...all that matters is us...him and me 
and this heat we are generating. 

I moan when he sucks me in deeper practically swallowing me whole.  His 
warm, wet mouth enveloping my entire length.  His tongue is pressing 
against the swollen head causing me to moan.  He begins moving faster, 
and faster, setting a pace that is causing me to moan with each down 
stroke. Then I feel it happening that tightness that grows and grows until I 
can no longer stand it.  

I try to tug his head up and say, "Wait...I am too close." He ignores me 
though and within seconds I explode in his mouth moaning, moaning HIS 
name.  What have I done?  What has he done to me? 

He sits back on his heels and watches me as my eyes flutter open.  

"Relaxed now?" He asks smiling.  

I smile back then he leans up and kisses me deeply...I can taste myself on 
him and want more...so much more.  

"Viggo." I say breathlessly after he breaks the kiss. "I uh...I am not...I 
don't." I am not sure what I am trying to say.

"Me neither." He says as if understanding what I am trying to say.  "I 
haven't done that to another man in a very, very long time." 

I look at him unsure what to do or say...unsure of what it all means.  

"I think lust, love, attraction, whatever may not be exclusive to one sex or 
another." He answers as if that solves everything...and perhaps it does.  

I can't take my eyes from his...then I lean forward and capture his lips 
myself.  I kiss him this time, deeply, passionately, and he accepts it...lets 
me control him and I realize I want to taste him too.  I have never done 
that before, but I know what I like so maybe I can do this...I want to...I 
really, really want to.  


He takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom.  Oh God I am in too far to 
turn back now, not that I want to anymore.  This time I am not drunk, this 
time I won't chicken out at the last minute.  

--------------------------------------------------------------

Once we arrive in Viggo's bedroom I know there is definitely no turning 
back now.  Maybe this will get him out of my system...just let it happen.  I 
can't keep going on as I have been...it is making me crazy.  Maybe this 
will fix that. 

My hand is still in Viggo's and he pulls me closer and presses his lips to 
mine.  They are warm and damp and I can still taste myself on him.  His 
tongue slides into my mouth and I can't resist anything he wants from me.  
Viggo's kisses are devastating, I feel like I am being turned inside out 
from just a simple kiss. No wait, there is nothing simple about any of this.  

Then he moves the kiss from my lips trailing down my jaw to my throat 
and I can't suppress the moan that escapes.  God this feels good, better 
than I could have ever possibly imagined. 

My heart is racing and I can feel the blood pounding in my ears.  It's like 
the reverberation of tribal drums racing through my skin.  I am already 
hard again and I can feel Viggo's hard length pressed against me through 
his jeans.  

Somehow we both are undressed now...when did I loose time and 
memory?  Probably when Viggo clamped his lips around my nipple 
making me moan again.  Seems all of my brain cells just collided and flew 
out of my head at that.  A man has never made me feel this way...hell a 
woman's never made me feel this way! 

Maybe its just Viggo?  I think suddenly.  His hand slides down my chest 
and rubs my cock...oh God I can't help it when my hips lift to greet his 
greedy hand.  This feels so bloody amazing.  

"Sean?" Viggo asks.

"Yeah?" I say looking at him...never viewed him from this position before.  
It's odd seeing him looking up at me from my chest like that...but a good 
odd. 

"You've really never done this before have you?" He asks seriously.

"N...no." I stammer.

He smiles and then he sits up and leans over to the bedside table.  He pulls 
out a bottle and a condom.  I can only assume the bottle is lube of some 
kind.  He rolls to his side beside me and then says. "I want you to take me 
Sean." 

I stare at him a moment.  Did he just say what I think he said?  Oh 
God...he wants me to fuck him.  He knows I have never done this...I do 
want this but fuck I don't know what I am doing.  

He must see the look on my face and says, "It's not THAT different than 
sex with a woman...just gotta go slow." He explains. 

I can't manage to make any kind of sound so I just nod.  Just thinking 
about it though has made every bit of blood in my body rush to my cock.  I 
think for a second there might not be enough for my heart to pump 
anymore.  

Viggo rolls onto his back beside me and I reach out and caress his 
chest...and then I decide I do still want to taste him.  So I start planting 
kisses along his chest and lick him as I move down.  He gasps lightly 
when I suck on his nipple...yeah I liked that too. I think to myself. 

It's strange feeling his chest hair against my tongue but I actually like it.  I 
slide all the way down his body to his erection, which is the first time I 
have seen it.  I smile when I plant a kiss on his pelvic bone and watch his 
cock jump.  I like having this kind of power over him...he has already had 
power over me; now it's my turn.  Remembering what I have always liked 
I take him in my hand, and then lick the head lightly tasting his pre-cum 
and being quite surprised that I don't mind the taste at all.  

"Sean....please." Viggo says in a throaty voice I have never heard from 
him before.  I like that voice. 

Slowly I wrap my lips around the head and then flick my tongue against 
him and his reaction is priceless.  He bucks under me and he moans my 
name, which makes my own cock twitch.  I slide my mouth over him more 
fully and begin sucking...it's a bit alien at first and I am not sure I am 
doing everything quite right but his reactions keep me going.  He is 
writhing under me and moaning my name so I start moving faster and 
sucking harder.  I try relaxing my throat and take him in as far as I can and 
swallow.  Fuck that wasn't too easy to do with something crammed in your 
mouth like that, but from the loud moan it elicited from Viggo I know he 
enjoyed it.  I begin again setting a steady pace until I can taste his pre-cum 
in the back of my throat.  

Suddenly, Viggo curses in Danish and says, "Please stop, Sean." I decide 
he ignored me earlier...I am going to ignore him now.  Viggo's fists are 
clenched twisting the bed covers and then I can feel him tense up.  He's 
loosing control so I pull back a bit.  I wasn't prepared for how hot and 
salty it would be but I managed to swallow it.  He is shuddering under me 
now and I rise up to look at him. Viggo is smiling at me and I crawl up his 
body and kiss him. Letting him taste himself on my lips.  

"Take me, Sean." He whispers shakily rubbing his hand on my cock that 
has become rock hard yet again.  I shiver and then sit up on my knees 
between his legs.  I am still unsure of what I am doing but I can do this. I 
want to do this and I realize I have wanted to do this for a very long time, 
but not with just anyone, just Viggo. 

I open the bottle and slick my fingers and begin rubbing them against 
Viggo's cleft.  God I haven't felt this nervous since I was a teenager.  
Slowly I begin to slide one finger inside Viggo...God he's so tight...I can't 
imagine how the hell I could get my cock in there but I know people do 
this all the time.  He's done this before, but that doesn't make me feel any 
less nervous.  I pull back and slide another finger in, and then I remember 
something I read once and curl my fingers slightly and feel it.  Yep that's it 
I think as Viggo pushes back against me and moans loudly.  Yep definitely 
found it. I try a third finger and Viggo is moaning even louder now each 
time I brush that spot.  

"Sean....I want you inside me." He says softly between strangled breaths.  

I remove my fingers and Viggo gasps.  I roll on the condom as fast as I 
can and then slick up a bit messily...oh well probably too much is a good 
thing in a case like this. 

I position myself and begin slowly pushing inside of him.  I can see his 
eyes widen slightly and he is clenching his jaw.  I try to go slower...I don't 
want to hurt him but then he suddenly wraps his legs around me and pulls 
me into him quickly letting out a loud rumbling groan.  

Good God it's tight...I have never felt anything like this before and it's 
making all my willpower not to just loose it right now.  I think back to his 
earlier words...it's definitely NOT like being with a woman! 

Now I am buried to the hilt in him and taking shallow breaths trying to get 
my body under control.  Viggo's eyes are glittering and darker than I have 
ever seen them.  

"Move, please." Viggo says softly and so I begin thrusting into him slowly 
at first but he coaxes me to go faster.  I begin setting a rhythm and I 
change the angle slightly trying to hit that spot again.  I manage to and 
know it because Viggo's eyes go wide and his head tips back into the 
mattress as he shudders and moans my name loudly.  That drives me over 
the edge and I begin pounding into him faster and faster.  Viggo reaches 
down and begins stroking himself in time with my movements then he 
arches and literally screams as hot sticky sperm splashes against both our 
stomachs and chests.  

I keep going, no way I could stop now if I wanted to.  The feeling of his 
muscles contracting around me is unbelievable. I feel that familiar 
tightness and with a shuddering howl I find my release inside Viggo's tight 
warmth.  God, I have never felt anything like that in all my life.  I collapse 
on Viggo and know I am probably smothering him but I need to catch my 
breath before I can move off him.

I finally gain enough composure to do just that and manage to toss the 
condom in the waste bin by the bed. Viggo pulls me close and kisses me 
softly.  He gets up and grabs a towel out of the bathroom and cleans us 
both up.  I laugh a little when his fingers rub down my sides.  

He smiles. "Ticklish there?" 

"Yes." I say still smiling and then he kisses me again.  I can loose myself 
in his kisses.  I still am not sure what's happened here tonight but I am too 
tired to think about it anymore.  He turns off the light and we curl up in 
bed together.  The last thing I remember is him tenderly caressing my arm.  

Sometime in the night I wake up to Viggo licking my neck.

"Mmm." I murmur.

"Want me to stop?" He asks.

The moon is full and shining light into the room, I can see him smiling at 
me.

"No." I say softly and pull him back toward me for a long kiss. "Your 
turn." I say softly.

"What?" He asks pulling back to try and look at me in the moonlit room.

"Your turn to take me." I say before I can loose my nerve.

"Are you sure?" He asks rising up on one elbow looking at me.

"Yes." I say softly. "Just....just take it slow." 

He nods and then leans over licking and lightly biting my neck.  God that 
feels so good that I can't help a little moan that escapes.  I can feel him 
smiling against my skin.  When he slides between my legs I tense up just a 
little bit and will myself to relax.  I want to do this, to feel this, I want him 
inside me and I want to do this for him.  He brought me so much pleasure, 
so much I never knew I wanted and now I want to give something back to 
him.

When his first slick finger presses against me I automatically tighten up 
and he repeats his words that started this whole thing. "Relax, Sean." 

I obey and soon I feel his finger slide inside me...it aches a bit but feels 
good too.  Then a second finger joins the first and he scissors his fingers 
and curls them.  When he hits that spot I feel like I am going to come out 
of my skin.  Christ that felt incredible.  

After a bit I am nearly ready to beg him to fuck me but he must have read 
my mind because he withdraws his fingers.  I actually fucking whimper.  
Then I feel his hardness pressing against me and he begins to slide slowly 
inside.  Fuck this hurts...more than I thought it would.   I dig my fingers 
into the covers and try not to tense up knowing it's going to hurt more if I 
do that.  Viggo goes slow though...the whole time whispering softly to me 
in Danish I think.  

Finally he is inside me and we are both taking deep breaths and once the 
burning pain subsides I want him to move.

"Ok Vig...please." I say softly and I can see him smile in the moonlight.  

He begins moving slowly and I moan softly. Oh this feels so strange but 
so good at the same time.  The pain has almost completely disappeared 
and then he slowly changes angle and he hits that spot again.  I impale 
myself further on him pushing back...oh that's sooo good.  He begins 
picking up speed and I am pushing back to him like he did me.  I never 
dreamed that this would feel so good.  He leans down and kisses me 
stifling the noises I hadn't even realized I was making.  Finally he grazes 
that spot again and I can't take any more...I reach down and begin stroking 
myself but Viggo brushes my hand away and does it himself.  He strokes 
me in time with his thrusts and I am digging my nails into the covers this 
time from pleasure.  

"Oh God...Oh Viggo!" I hear myself scream as my entire world goes 
spinning out of control and I am coming.  

A few seconds later I feel Viggo reach his release inside of me, and the 
sensation is unbelievable, bet it would feel even better without a condom.  
He collapses on top of me much the same way I did him and we lay there 
panting and trying to catch our breath before moving apart.  

Viggo grabs the discarded towel from earlier and tries to clean us up.  
Then he collapses back beside me on the bed and we curl around each 
other.  He whispers something in Danish again and we go to sleep for the 
second time tonight. 

My last thoughts are that I still don't know what this means...tomorrow 
will we just be friends again or has something changed forever between us 
now?  Will we be able to look at each other the same way again?  My 
world has definitely changed...but I am not sure if I understand it yet. 

-------------------------------
The next morning I wake up with Viggo's arm wrapped around me.  God I 
wasn't drunk and it wasn't a dream.  I still am not quite sure how I feel 
about this.  I take a deep breath and Viggo pulls me against his chest 
tighter.  His warm breath is causing goose bumps down my arms.  I shiver 
and then I hear his voice say sleepily. "You cold?" 
 
"No...just a cold chill is all." I say lamely. 
 
I can almost hear his smile behind me.  "So you want some breakfast?" 
Viggo asks as if nothing happened.  
 
"Uh sure." I say still off balance...it seems my entire world tipped over last 
night. Nothing is the way it should be. So much has changed but he's 
treating me like he always has. Not sure what I expected otherwise though. 
 
I feel him get up and the warmth that was there before is gone...I almost 
regret agreeing to breakfast now, but then we had to get up sometime. We 
have to get up and face this new world somehow. 

I lie in the same spot listening to the shower and waiting until he returns 
from the bathroom.  He comes out with his hair damp and his toothbrush 
hanging out of his mouth, his jeans are on but unbuttoned, no shirt, and his 
damp hair is standing up a bit...and Christ I still want him.  

It's not out of my system...I still want Viggo.  Fuck...in the back of my 
mind I thought if I went through with it last night I would get him out of 
my system and be done with it.  Now I know differently. Now I know that 
Viggo is like a drug I am addicted to. 

He grabs a shirt out of the closet and steps back into the bathroom to finish 
brushing his teeth.  I lay there a bit longer and he leaves the room.  

I sit up and regret that some. I am sore in places I have never been sore 
before...but then I smile to myself it was worth it. Yes it was definitely 
worth it...I have never felt anything like I did last night. Even if it's a one-
time deal it's worth it.  Who am I kidding I don't want it to be a one time 
deal? We didn't discuss the future...what if Viggo doesn't want more?  
What if last night was his way of clearing the air between us and there 
won't be another time? I need to stop thinking...get up...get dressed...and 
get the bloody hell out of Viggo's bedroom.
 
I get dressed and go in the bathroom...Viggo left a new toothbrush on the 
counter still in the shiny plastic wrapper.  New toothbrush?  Not sure what 
that means exactly. Does it not mean anything...or does he have so many 
unexpected house guests that he keeps extras or just happened to have an 
extra or did he plan this?  God I need to quit doing this.  

I wash up and walk into the kitchen.  Viggo is standing at the counter 
chopping some vegetables.  I look down at his bare feet...they are almost 
always bare. I think I like that about him though. He doesn't care about 
convention. He doesn't care what anyone else thinks...he is just Viggo and 
if you can't handle that then piss on you. 
 
I pull up a chair and sit down.  He turns and smiles at me and then hands 
me a cup of tea...it's that Yerba Matè shite he loves so much. He watches 
me eye the cup and grins. 

"Sorry don't have any Earl Grey." 
 
"It's ok." I say trying to prepare my mouth for the different tasting brew. 
It's not bad...just not used to it is all...maybe honey will make it taste 
better.  

"Uh Vig...um you have anything I can use in this...uh honey maybe?" 
 
"Yeah...sorry...just a sec." He says walking over to the pantry. I watch the 
way his muscles move under his clothes. "I sometimes take it with honey 
myself... depending on my mood." 
 
I smile at him and start the long wait for the honey in the stupid little bear-
shaped bottle to finally reach the top and slowly dribble into my cup. I 
notice he is watching me with an amused expression on his face.
  
"What?" 
 
"You aren't a morning person are you Sean?" He asks cracking an egg into 
a bowl. 
 
"Guess not." I say frowning at the damn slow honey.  Squeezing the bottle 
didn't help only got like three drops.  Then when I released it the air 
sucked the rest back up into the bottle further. I nearly muttered 
something. Suddenly Viggo turns and jerks the stupid bear out of my 
hand. He closes it, slams it against the table-which makes me jump nearly 
out of my skin-and then he opens it, turns it up, shoves it into my hand, 
and honey begins pouring out into my cup.  
 
"Works with ketchup too." Viggo says to me as I sit back a bit stunned. 
 
"I have tried that before with ketchup and only ended up with it all over 
my shirt." I say remembering an incident with the girls last year and some 
French fries. 
 
Viggo laughed.  "Then maybe I just have the magic touch." He says 
turning back to mixing the eggs with some milk. 
 
I just stare at his back and think yeah...yeah you do and I am certainly not 
thinking about honey or ketchup...though the honey could be useful.  I 
barely refrain from smacking my head against the table at that thought.
 
"Uh Viggo?" I have to ask now...was this a one time deal...but how to ask?
 
"Yeah Sean?" He says with his back still to me.  Bloody hell I can't ask 
this to his back! 
 
"Umm...can you leave the eggs for a minute...um I need to ask you 
something?" I manage to stammer it out.
 
"Sure." Viggo says sliding into the chair across from me.  I have a hard 
time meeting that blue gaze of his...last night oh God his eyes changed 
from the normally cold blue gray to a bright shimmering blue when he 
was over me and under me...get your mind back on track Sean he is 
expecting you to say something you dolt. 
 
"I um was wondering...about last night." I stammered. Oh so smooth 
Sean...you are supposed to be a fucking actor, Sean stop stammering!
 
Viggo looks at me for a few seconds. Then he sits back and begins tracing 
a pattern on the table with his fingertips.  

"Sean...last night...do you regret it?" He asks almost tentatively.
 
"No!" I blurt before I think.  "Um no, no Vig I don't regret it but I am not 
sure where it puts us." I say trying to explain.
 
"I'd say it puts us right where we are." Viggo says.
 
Fuck...what kind of answer is that? It's a Viggo answer that's what it is. I 
blink a few times and then I ask. "Where exactly is that then?" 
 
He smiles at me; one of those great smiles he has...one that makes me 
smile back because I just can't help it. 
 
"We are friends, Sean...always that first right?" He asks this time I can tell 
he isn't quite as sure of himself as he has been.  
 
"Of course." I say automatically, how could he not think we were friends?
 
"Ok.  So now we are just much closer friends...well a bit more than that I 
guess...I haven't exactly gone down on any of my other close male 
friends." Viggo seems to be thinking out loud on that last bit and I stare at 
him surprised to find he is as ruffled as I am.
 
He looks up at me then and I can see some emotion flash in his 
eyes...something I have never seen there before. Just as quickly he hides it 
as his eyes flicker away from mine.  
 
"Vig...I think that we could say we are a lot more than just friends now.  I 
just wanted to know if it was going to happen again...or if last night was a 
one time deal to just get it over with...or out of our systems...or whatever." 
I say loosing my resolve on that last bit. 
 
"Do you want it to be a one time thing?" He asks me and I seriously want 
to smack him now.
 
"That's what I was asking you." I counter getting more frustrated and 
shifting in my chair. Viggo really can be very difficult to have a 
conversation with sometimes. 
 
"Oh." He nods and looks down at his hands in thought.  I like Viggo's 
hands they are callused and rough but they have so much talent and now I 
know they have such tenderness...wait a minute tenderness?  His touches 
were always tender last night, almost loving.  This morning...oh Christ he 
held me all night! I feel strange as realization pours over me then I look at 
him.  Viggo is still looking at his hands and I reach across the table and 
take them in mine.  His blue gray eyes snap up to mine.
 
"No, I don't want it to be a one time thing." I say softly and I see a light in 
his eyes that wasn't there before. He wanted to hear that and damn if I 
didn't want to say it. 
 
"Sean, this might be awkward though...on set...I mean our other friends 
might not understand." Viggo says worriedly which surprises me.  
Normally Viggo could care less what anyone else thinks, although 
knowing him he is saying it for my benefit. 
 
I laugh then.  "Ian will be thrilled...as for the others umm Billy and Dom 
have gotten mighty close themselves." 
 
Viggo looks at me a bit strangely and then says, "Dom and Billy?  I 
thought that was just a rumor?" 
 
"Nope. I uh I walked in on them during what one might call an intimate 
moment in the hobbits wardrobe trailer last week." I say smiling. 
 
"Oh." He says softly and smiles conspiratorially. "How intimate?" I laugh 
then but I see that emotion in his eyes again...it's almost pained. 

"Sean, I was so afraid last night...it may not have seemed I was, but I was 
terrified you would turn me away...or worse want to kick my ass but what 
scared me the most was loosing your friendship.  I had to try though and 
now I am glad I did, but damn I been on pins and needles since last night." 
He says it all in a rush and letting out a breath as if he had been holding it 
from the night before. 
 
"You bloody wanker you certainly had me fooled!" I say smiling at him.

Viggo smiled back, "Well we are actors aren't we?"

I just shake my head and laugh harder.  He deserved a fucking Oscar for 
this acting job that's for sure. I look down and realize I still have his hands 
cradled in mine.  That feels right...this feels right...last night was right. 
 
Then I feel it...my world seems to tip again and this time everything clicks 
back into place. No I never wanted a relationship with a man before...but I 
want Viggo.  What does that say about me exactly?  
 
Viggo looks at me again and I see the panic back in his eyes again. 

"What?" I asked worried. 
 
"Your divorce...this...us...its not going to be good for that." He says it so 
sadly that I want to pull him into my arms and just hold him.  I can handle 
the brooding Viggo, the silly Viggo, the nature-loving-nut-case-artist-poet 
Viggo, but the vulnerable one I am seeing before me now just makes me 
want to wrap him up in my arms and protect him from the rest of the 
world. 
 
"Then we keep it a secret at least until the divorce is final." I say simply.  
That's all we can do really...if people figure it out...if there are rumors 
fine...there are always rumors on movie sets. 
 
"Sean you know as well as I do that keeping secrets on a long movie shoot 
doesn't work." Viggo says so seriously that I start to squirm a bit.  I know 
what's coming next. 

"I don't want to say this but I was wrong...I am sorry.  I shouldn't have 
pushed you last night it was too soon.  I should have waited until your 
divorce was final...I think...I think maybe we should put this...whatever it 
is that's happening between us on hold until then." He says softly.

"You didn't push me into anything I hadn't already been thinking about for 
weeks now." I had to admit that to him I couldn't let him think he was the 
only one at fault here. Besides he didn't force me to do anything.  "Besides 
you did ask me." I say as an afterthought.

"Yeah with my hand wrapped around your dick." He says scowling. 

I laugh.  "Yeah...but I still could have said no."

He tries to smile but I see that it doesn't quite reach his eyes.  "So what 
now?" He asks. 

"Uh...well we keep it a secret at least for a little while as best we can...and 
if it comes out so be it. I can't just go back to the way things were before... 
not after last night."  I say praying he agrees.  

I stare at him for a minute and then I say. "So what do you think?"

"Alright...besides after last night I am not sure I could keep my hands off 
you anyway." Viggo says making us both laugh. 

"So you hungry?" I ask as my stomach growls. 

Viggo laughs again and gets back up to finish the omelet he stopped 
making earlier.  I take a drink of the matè that has gone cold but has lots of 
honey in it...I can get used to this stuff I think.  I look at Viggo's back and 
I know I can definitely get used to this. I know keeping this a secret isn't 
going to be easy, but life never really has been easy has it? 

I sit back and just watch Viggo at the stove rolling up his sleeves and 
pouring eggs into a skillet.  We can do this.  Maybe the others will notice 
us lusting after each other.  Hell Ian already thinks I am infatuated with 
Viggo...and I have to admit now that I am.  To the rest of the cast it will 
appear unrequited lust.  We are both actors and damn good ones...we can 
pull this off...at least I am sure Viggo can after his "performance" last 
night.  He had me fooled completely.  Then I remember the toothbrush.

"Hey Vig?" I ask.

"Hmm?" He says turning eggs in the skillet.

"Uh, the toothbrush this morning?" I ask.

"Huh?  Oh.  Yeah?" Viggo asks.

"Did you plan last night?" I ask unsure how I will feel about the answer.

He stops moving. "No, not in that way.  The toothbrush was just an extra. 
Got it from the dentist a few weeks back when I got my tooth knocked out. 
I didn't need the new one so I just put it away.  I saw it this morning when 
I opened the medicine cabinet and figured you'd appreciate it...I didn't plan 
this Sean at least not beyond asking you to come over last night and 
hoping something might happen." Viggo explained. "Why, would it matter 
if I had?" Viggo asked then, grabbing a plate and serving half the omelet 
onto it.

"Not really." I say standing up and getting silverware out of the drawer by 
the sink.  

After breakfast I look over at Viggo.  He is thinking about something I can 
tell by the way he is staring past me out the window.  He does that a lot 
just stares into nothing it seems.  It's his artist mind working over 
something I think.  I stand up and his eyes focus on me. 

"You going home?" He asks. 

"Yeah I need to take care of a few things.  Umm you wanna come over for 
dinner tonight?" I ask.

"Sure...what time?" Viggo asks. 

"Around six?" I ask.

"Sure." He says following me to the door.  Just before I open it I turn and 
look at him.  The feeling washes over me of just how right this feels.  I 
pull him into my arms and kiss him deeply.  When we step back from each 
other we both smile.  

"See ya later." I say as I open the door to leave. 

-----------------------------------------------

The hobbits and the elf are nuts. I am convinced of this now.  They are all 
up on the little makeshift stage in the pub singing karaoke. Viggo, Ian, 
Karl, and myself are sitting in a booth nearly pissing our selves laughing.  

It's been six weeks now since that night...and no one knows or even 
suspects that Viggo and I are involved.  Ian has asked me if I have talked 
to Viggo about my "infatuation" and I keep telling him no, though each 
time he asks I nearly want to laugh.  I don't know how long I can keep 
hiding how I feel about Viggo though.  We are together all the time both 
in social situations and alone...it's the time alone when it's the easiest 
because we can just BE with each other, but nights like this it's so damn 
hard to hide what's really going on.  

Viggo has admitted he feels the same way.  We talked about it a few days 
ago and we are both nearly ready to just say fuck it and tell everyone 
anyway.  Then again we are doing such a good job of hiding it.  I have 
also realized something else in the last six weeks...what I feel for Viggo is 
more than just attraction or lust.  I am not quite sure if it's love...because 
even before the physical attraction slipped in I loved the bloke as a friend. 
I have never become lovers with one of my best mates before so I am not 
quite sure where that line is between friendship and something more...or 
even if there ever was one with Viggo.  

I look across the table and see Viggo smiling at me.  That look in his eyes 
I know is meant for me alone to see.  I glance over at Ian quickly and then 
back to Viggo.  He gets the message and averts his gaze back to the 
screeching hobbits and elf.  Christ some of those boys are in desperate 
need of vocal lessons. The ones who can sing are being drowned out by 
those who can't.  

I feel a hand on my thigh under the table...I know it's Viggo's.  He's had a 
few too many drinks tonight I think, but he's still not technically drunk.  
The falling down hobbits...yeah they are technically wasted.  Oh bloody 
hell he moved his hand up higher!  Normally I wouldn't mind that but I 
know I am not that good of an actor to hide him touching me like this.  I 
reach under the table and squeeze his hand and then move it.  He gives my 
hand a squeeze and then he leans over and says, "Sean I think I have had a 
few too many tonight...you mind giving me a ride home?"

I laugh, God even tipsy he manages to keep up the act. "Sure." I say 
lightly.

We excuse ourselves from our friends and make our way out to my car.  
Viggo slides into the passenger seat and sits back closing his eyes.  

"I don't know how long I can do this, Sean." Viggo's voice echoes the 
frustration I am feeling as well.

"I know Vig...I know." I say starting the car. "If we don't go out with our 
friends though they are going to suspect something...but when we do, it 
makes us both crazy.  Especially the way the hobbits and that damn elf are 
always all over each other." 

When we arrive at Viggo's I help him inside and help him get into bed.  
It's taking every ounce of willpower I have seeing him in nothing but his 
boxers laying there on his bed not to just pounce on him.  I manage to get 
him tucked in.

"Christ. Sean, I haven't been tucked in since I was a kid." Viggo says 
laughing. "I am not that drunk ya know?" 

I laugh too.  "I know, but you look really tired. Goodnight Vig." I say 
kissing his forehead lightly.  As I turn to walk away he catches my hand in 
his and squeezes.  

"Why don't you stay?" 

I don't turn around, I can't. I can't stay, he knows that.

"Please Sean...stay...just sleep here with me tonight." He says softly.

"Vig I would love to but..." I begin but he cuts me off.

"Sean, stay with me tonight." Viggo says in a pleading voice that makes 
me want to melt right through the floorboards.  I do want to stay. 

"Are you sure?  Vig don't you remember you have an elf staying here for a 
few days?" I ask reminding Viggo of his guest.  

One of Orlando's pipes burst in his kitchen while he was gone for a few 
days last week. He was complaining in the trailer the other morning about 
the hotel he was staying in, and Viggo being Viggo pipes up and says, 
"You can stay in my guestroom, I don't have any use for it with Henry not 
here right now."
 
I nearly choked on my tea of course. Its true Viggo doesn't use the 
guestroom when Henry isn't here...and I certainly don't sleep in it 
anymore.  Not since that night...I have used the guestroom before then 
though.  I know Orli could use a place to stay but then it's making it even 
more difficult for us to hide our relationship. Viggo sits up in the bed and 
looks at me for a moment.  

"Maybe we should tell Orli...I mean hell we share a trailer with him we 
may as well let him in on our relationship, that way we don't have to be on 
egg shells constantly.  This is driving me nuts, Sean." Viggo says and then 
stares at me waiting for me to say something.  
 
I stand there staring back at him for what seems an awfully long time 
thinking about his words and then I smile.  "Ok...when do we tell him?" I 
am actually very relived.  I know it was my idea to hide our relationship 
but I no longer care as much anymore. Besides I really, really want to stay. 

Last week I nearly killed myself when Viggo and I had a quick snog while 
Orli and the makeup artists were out. When Orli opened the door we 
jumped back from each other so fast I lost my balance and nearly fell over.  
If Viggo hadn't grabbed me by Boromir's leather vest I would have fell flat 
of my arse. Orli gave us the strangest look but we played it off well, at 
least we think we did.  Would have been awkward to have to explain what 
was going on right before going out to film.  
 
"So come to bed, Sean." Viggo says smiling tiredly. He certainly doesn't 
have to ask me again.  I strip down to my boxers and turn off the lights 
then slide in beside Viggo.  We kiss each other and curl up together, this 
just feels so right. I am still not used to it yet, I still am not sure what it 
means now.  Am I gay now...or bisexual, or just Viggo-sexual?
 
All I know is I would love to slide down further and take Viggo into my 
mouth but I know he's exhausted so I won't.  Viggo only went out tonight 
because he felt we had to...the whole keeping up appearances thing so no 
one gets suspicious. He has been killing himself all week.  He dives into 
his work so much...I mean sure I do too but nothing like Viggo. I knew he 
was pretty far-gone when before we went out tonight he fell asleep on the 
couch while I was in the shower. Normally he would have crawled in there 
with me. 
 
I smile at that thought and finally drift off to sleep. 
------------------------------------------------------
The next morning I wake up cold...Viggo's not in bed and then I realize 
the shower is running.  I get up and slip into the steamy shower with him. 
He turns and smiles at me and I say, "Water conservation." He laughs but I 
cut off his laughter with a kiss.  Once we break the kiss Viggo is smiling 
at me. 

"Love your environmentalist tendencies." Viggo says as I begin to laugh.   

I have never been with anyone who makes me laugh so easily or makes 
me feel so comfortable.  I have been married three times and never have I 
felt this connected to someone else.  Now that Viggo is rubbing up against 
me, slick wet skin against my own slick wet skin other thoughts fade 
away.  Now all I am focused on is how this feels...and how I can make 
him feel the same way. I realize then I am in love with him.  

We kiss deeply as the water bounces and slides over our skin.  We stop 
kissing and I say, "We're never going to get clean at this rate." 

He laughs and says, "Then hand me the soap."  I do and we take turns 
washing each other's chests and arms then move lower to wash the really 
fun bits.  Then I say, "Can you get my back for me?"

"Mmm sure." Viggo says softly.  

I turn and he washes my back and down further across my arse and down 
my thighs.  He's quite thorough in his ministrations.  I am sure he is as 
hard now as I am and it's driving me nuts that he isn't doing more than just 
washing me. 

"Your turn." I say turning toward him.  He presents his back and I do the 
same to him but as I stand back up from washing his calves I kiss my way 
back up.  He seems to really be enjoying that.  Know I would enjoy it. 
Then he says, "Sean, I am dying here." 

I smile against his skin and bite him lightly on his shoulder and soothe it 
again with my tongue.  He places his hands on the opposite wall 
presenting his backside to me.  I reach over and grab the bath oil he keeps 
in the shower and rub it on myself and then pour it on his bum massaging 
and then sliding a finger inside him slowly the combination of the water 
and the oil making it very easy to do so.  Will I ever get used to that tight 
heat?  I hope not.  I begin moving my finger and then pull back and add 
another.  I brush his prostate and he moans loudly.  I love when I do that 
to him.  Finally I pull my fingers out and he whimpers and I know it's an 
unconscious move on his part but his leans back toward me.  I rub my 
hand across his lower back and then position myself and slowly begin to 
enter him.  Ever since we decided not to bother with condoms anymore 
based on both of our histories, this has been so much more intense.  

Once I am sheathed inside of him he pushes back against me, "More." He 
says in a moan as I begin thrusting inside of him.  Between the hot water 
hitting my back and his tight heat wrapped around me I am not going to 
last long.  I begin thrusting faster and faster and then reach around him 
and begin stroking him in time with my thrusts. Both of us are moaning 
and trying to be quiet because Orli could be in the next room but we aren't 
doing a great job of keeping our voices down. 

Finally I feel Viggo tense around me and feel his cock jump in my hand as 
his seed spills over my hand.  His muscles clenching around mine causes 
me to spill inside him shuddering and barely able to catch my breath.  I 
kiss his shoulders and back and can feel him shaking under me. 

The water is starting to run cold or our skin is just so hot it feels cold so 
we decide to finish up quickly and get out of the shower before our teeth 
start chattering. 

After our glorious shower and shag or was that shag and shower...Viggo 
and I get dressed and go out to the living room.  No sign of Orli...well 
maybe he stayed the night with the hobbits or he's still asleep?  Viggo 
goes to the door of the guestroom and sure enough Orli is passed out 
across the bed still fully dressed.  Viggo closes the door softly and we go 
to the kitchen.  I watch as Viggo sets the kettle on the stove and says, 
"Well guess we won't talk to him right away." 
 
I laugh.  "I doubt he will feel much like talking anytime soon." 
 
After breakfast I leave to go back over to my place to check my messages.  
Once we finally come out about us I won't have to do that anymore.  
Viggo and I discussed that his place is bigger...we should just move in 
together...after my divorce is final that is.  Hopefully that will be very 
soon, Abbey and I are not fighting each other over much and the fact she 
wants me in Evie's life is all I really care about anyway. I can buy another 
fucking house and car.  Evie is why Viggo is being so careful though; he 
doesn't want our being together to jeopardize my having joint custody. It's 
not that Abbey is a prude or anything, she's pretty open minded herself, 
but I doubt her blood sucking lawyer would feel the same way. 
 
I finally manage to get things taken care of at my place and grab an 
overnight bag to go back to Viggo's.  When I arrive Orli let's me in.  "Vig 
ran to the store to pick up some things for dinner...said he was cooking 
something special." Orli tells me as I toss my overnight bag on the floor.
 
"So are you feeling ok now?" I ask wondering if I was ever as young and 
full of life as he is.  Night after night he and hobbits go out and party to all 
hours and then get up at the crack of dawn and film all day.  It's crazy...but 
I suppose I used to do it too when I was twenty-three. Not that I remember 
much of it. The only nights Viggo and I go out are when we have the next 
day off. The others tease us we are old men, but really we would rather 
spend our other nights in with each other when no one else is around. 
 
"Better than I had been earlier...hell of a hang over...woke up feeling like I 
slept with Elijah's socks in my mouth and a kettle drum on my head." Orli 
laughs.
 
I laugh too.  "You know Sean you have a gorgeous smile." Orli says 
softly.  I think I just blushed.  "What?" I ask.
 
"You have a gorgeous smile...though I am sure other people have told you 
that before." Orli says looking away from me. 
 
"Uh...I suppose...um thanks?" Hell I have no clue what to say. Then Orli 
all but slinks over to me, he's hovering over me as it sit in Viggo's favorite 
chair.  
 
"Orli?" I ask and then he captures my lips.  FUCK! I push him back and 
he sits down with a loud thump on the coffee table.
 
"What the fuck was that Orlando!?" I nearly yell at the poor kid but 
fucking hell that was totally unexpected.
 
His brown eyes are wide and his face is red.  "I'm sorry...I just...shit, I 
fucked that up didn't I?"
 
I just stare at him unsure what to think.  "You don't like me at all do you 
Sean? You aren't even bi or gay are you?" He asks sadly. 
 
"Fuck. Orli I do like you...just not in that way...it's just I am...I am in love 
with someone else." I say the last part very confidently. 
 
"Oh." He says softly. "Who's the lucky girl?" 
 
"I never said it was a girl, Orli." I answer softly hoping the kid catches on.
 
"What?" He says then his big brown eyes go really wide and he says 
breathlessly, "It's Viggo." 
 
I smile.  "Yes." 
 
"Fuck...fuck...fuck...I owe Elijah fifty bucks now." Orli says getting up 
and flopping back down on the couch.  
 
"Excuse me?" Did he just say he owes Elijah fifty bucks?
 
"Elijah bet me that you and Viggo had a thing. I swore up and down the 
two of you were just friends...and of course I guess it was because I 
fancied you that I thought that.  Guess it was wishful thinking on my part 
or something." Orli says rubbing his hand through his Mohawk.
 
"Is there anyone else that thinks this?" I ask.
 
"No...well Ian I think but that's about it.  Everyone else says you and 
Viggo are both straight as arrows...guess I know differently now." Orli 
says smiling.
 
"Yeah...and about that...let's keep this a secret ok?  Vig and I plan to tell 
everyone but not yet...not until my divorce is final." I explain.
 
"Oh yeah, your divorce...guess something like this would really screw that 
up no wonder you guys have kept it a secret...by the way how long have 
you and Viggo been together?" Orli asks curling his feet under him on the 
couch.
 
"Just over six weeks now." I say sitting back in Viggo's chair. God this 
chair is comfortable no wonder he loves the damn thing so much.  Gona 
have to make it a point to try and steal it from him some night.  Should 
garner some fun punishment for me. Viggo would never admit it but he 
does have a bit of a kinky dominant streak sometimes. 
 
"So that morning when I walked into the trailer and you nearly busted 
your arse...was something going on?" Orli asks waggling his eyebrows at 
me in a way that makes me burst with laughter.
 
After I finish laughing I say, "Yeah actually you interrupted a damn fine 
bit of snogging." 
 
Orli laughs and then smiles at me.  "Well I am happy for you then 
Sean...really.  
 
"You're ok then...we're ok then?" I ask. I don't want to loose Orlando as a 
friend. 
 
"Sure...I can still fancy you though can't I? Now I just know better than to 
touch...Viggo could break me in half ya know?"  Orli says grinning. "So I 
had no idea you fancied men, Sean. Of course I hoped it but I figured you 
were going to toss me out earlier not tell me you were in love with Viggo. 
I mean both you and Viggo have been married.  You guys bi or 
something?" He asks.
 
"Uh Viggo is, bi that is." I explain. "I on the other hand had never...not 
before Viggo." 
 
"You are kidding right?" Orli asks surprised.
 
"No...I thought I was going crazy at first.  Seriously, I kept obsessing over 
Viggo and couldn't figure out why.  Thought I was going through some 
kind of bizarre mid life crisis or something.  Ian kept telling me I was 
infatuated with Viggo and I kept calling him crazy.  In the back of my 
mind I knew what I wanted but I was so afraid.  I had thought about 
having sex with other men a few times in my life but never went through 
with it.  So I guess you can say I was never completely straight, but never 
acted on it. Then that night six weeks ago I came over to rehearse with 
Viggo and he kept telling me to relax because I was so tense.  Then he 
kissed me. My entire world changed with that one kiss." I explained. 
 
Orli was leaning on his hand with his elbow on the arm of the couch 
listening to me.  He smiled when I said the last two sentences. 
 
"That's great, Sean.  Wow...one kiss changed your world? That's most 
romantic." He says grinning foolishly.
 
I can't help but laugh.  "Well might not have if we had stopped at a kiss." I 
say winking. God I sound like some teenage girl telling her girlfriend 
about her boyfriend or something. 
 
Orli is gaping at me now.  "So you guys had sex that night? Did you even 
discuss all that mess about being obsessed with Viggo and your thinking 
you were loosing your mind and all that with him?" Orlando really is a 
smart little bugger. 
 
"Not that night...I think we were both too terrified to say much that 
night...we had dinner at my place the next night and talked until dawn 
about it." I say brushing a bit of fuzz off the arm of the chair. 
 
"So when do you guys plan to 'come out' to the rest of the cast?" Orli asks.

"Probably the very fucking day my divorce is final...it's going to kill us to 
wait any longer I think.  We have to be so careful not to touch each other 
in more than a friendly way you know.  It's especially hard when you 
youngsters are hanging all over each other." I say smiling at him.

Orli just laughs.  "Well you two have my support...you really are perfect 
together.  Viggo is so intense sometimes, so focused and you always seem 
to be able to make him laugh no matter what.  I don't know why I didn't 
notice it before...but as I said I was a little blinded.  I can't say I am not 
jealous of Viggo...but I think the world of him...so if I can't have you then 
I am damn glad he does." Orli says in a very serious tone I don't hear from 
him often.  

"Thanks." I say softly not able to put into words how grateful I am for his 
support. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders now 
that I have talked to someone else, especially someone as accepting as 
Orli.  Don't know that everyone will be that accepting, but it feels good 
knowing some people will be.

When Viggo arrives Orli and I help him put the groceries away.  Both Orli 
and I are trying to determine just what he plans to make for dinner...as we 
start tossing ideas out Viggo threatens to run us both out of the kitchen.

"I can't even think with you two in here!" Viggo says laughing. 

I smile at him and walk over and kiss him of the cheek.  He looks at me a 
bit stunned and then looks over at Orli.  Orli just smiles.

"It's ok Vig...he told me.  No one will hear about this from me." Orli says 
still smiling. "Just do me a favor and keep the moaning down when I am 
trying to sleep ok?" 

That statement earns him a dish towel right in the face from Viggo.  As I 
walk back out to the living room to rummage around for the remote for the 
TV, which Viggo never uses, I discover I can't find it anywhere.  I head 
back to the kitchen to ask Viggo where it is, but before I enter I hear Orli 
say to Viggo.  "If you ever hurt him you realize I am going to have to kill 
you right?" 

I stand there barely breathing and listen for Viggo's reply.  "I don't think 
that will be necessary, Orlando. I never plan on hurting him, besides I am 
far too afraid it might be the other way around." 

I am stunned to hear that and so I stand and listen more.  Viggo thinks I 
will hurt him? 

"What do you mean?" Orli asks.

"Well I have done this before...I have been with men and women in my 
life Orli, but Sean has never had a relationship with a man.  I am far more 
afraid of him getting tired of me or deciding that this is wrong, or feeling 
that he is betraying his family, his daughters by being with me. I could 
give a rat's ass what other people think of me, and while I care about my 
career something like this accidentally becoming public doesn't worry me 
at all.  I fear that on the other hand it might bother Sean a lot." Viggo says 
sadly.

I want to tell him I don't care either, but that would be a lie.  I do care... 
but I don't think it would cause me to hurt him.  Ever.  

I stand there a few seconds longer and Orli says, "I think you are wrong 
Viggo...I really do.  Sean cares about you, and yes this is a whole new 
thing to him...he told me as much, but I think you are good for him.  When 
he told me you two had been together for around six weeks I think I can 
pick the exact day out in my memory.  Sean has been happier than I have 
ever known him to be the last several weeks...trust me Vig he will never 
be ashamed of you or anything like that.  Sure you both should keep this 
relationship out of the public eye, fuck them, it's none of their business 
anyway, but if it does slip out that's everyone else's problem not yours. " 

"Christ Orli when did you get so mature?" Viggo asks.

"Always was when I needed to be." Orli answers and I can hear the smile 
in his voice. 

I stand there for a few moments longer hoping that I can come into the 
kitchen and not seem like I had been eavesdropping. Then I back away 
from the doorway a bit more and walk forward into the kitchen and call 
out. "Christ Viggo did you eat the fucking remote?"

Viggo and Orli both laugh as I enter the kitchen.  "Can't you just walk 
over to the TV and turn it on?" Viggo asks.

"Hell no." I say indignantly.  "I don't even know how anymore, besides 
even Fred Flintstone had a remote!"

He laughs more and says, "I think it's laying on the shelf above the stereo." 

"Why would you put it there?" I say just to mess with him and a little 
curious to see what his answer will be.

"Because since I never use the thing I figured it was safer there...I 
wouldn't loose it. You know how I am about misplacing things." Viggo 
says setting a pan on the stovetop.

"Hmmm." I grumble just to get a reaction out of him.

All he does is laugh, which makes me smile. I love his laugh.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Title: No Turning Back
Author: Sairalinde 
Type: RPS 
Pairing: Viggo/Sean B.
Rating: NC-17
WARNING: None (Other than this is a re-work of my very first RPS fic 
and a bit mushy)
See the rest in part 1
----------------------------

It's been eleven weeks now since that night. I am about to board an 
airplane for England to sign my final divorce papers and appear with my 
solicitor for the custody settlement. When I get back Viggo and I plan on 
telling our friends about our relationship.  Then two months after that I 
have to leave for England again...Boromir won't be needed much longer. I 
don't want to go back to England. I want to stay with Viggo...but I guess 
we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Viggo says we should live in 
the moment and not worry about that for now. 

Viggo couldn't come to the airport with me...he's working.  We said our 
goodbye's this morning and both of us cried.  We looked like a couple of 
losers sitting in the floor crying on each other's shoulders. God, I already 
miss him.  Orli came to see me off he isn't needed until this afternoon.

"So you have a safe trip, Beanie." Orli says smiling at me with tears in his 
eyes.

"Thanks...take care of Viggo for me." I say softly.

"Christ. Sean, he isn't a dog or a house plant you know." Orli says trying 
to laugh but his voice is a bit strained.  Then he looks at me seriously.  
"Yeah I will take care of him...try and keep him from going too far off the 
deep end." 

I smile at him as best I can then I hear the boarding call.  "See you in a 
week and a half." I say shouldering my bag and smiling sadly. Fuck I hate 
airplanes... anything that flies really. This is going to be miserable. 

Orli throws his arms around me and says, "We will all miss you Beanie." 

"I'll miss you all too." I say trying not to start crying again and look like a 
fool.

The next week and a half pass so slowly it feels like each day is a month 
long, except for the time I spend on the phone with Viggo each day.  That 
time always passes too quickly.  Our phone services are going to love us 
both come the end of the month.  

When I arrive at the airport in New Zealand I am greeted by the hobbits 
and the elf...no Viggo.  "Peter kept Viggo working late on the Edoras set, 
he was so pissed off before I left he punched a hole in the makeup trailer 
wall." Orli whispers to me. 

"Fuck." I mutter.  

"He has missed you, I think he has written entire books of poetry since 
you have been gone...lonely, sad, angry, angst ridden poetry and he has 
painted up a storm...makeup nearly killed him three days ago when he 
came in with very blue fingers." Orli says smiling. 

The hobbits welcome me home. Elijah practically launches himself into 
my arms and gives me a huge hug.  "Glad your back Beanie man, it's been 
horrible without you and our King has been intolerable. Now that your 
back you gotta fix him for us." The boy says and I nearly laugh. 

"I missed you all too...and as far as our King goes...I know just how to 
cheer him up." I say smiling.  Oh yes, I know exactly how to cheer him 
up. 

The way Elijah grins at me I wonder just how much the boy has figured 
out on his own.  He already bet with Orli on our relationship...the boy may 
be young but he is perceptive as hell.

On the way back to the set the hobbits and Orli chatter about what has 
been going on while I was gone.  I missed them all so much, hadn't 
realized that until just now. Once the shoot is over it's going to be very 
hard to leave this place, to leave these friends.  We really have become the 
fellowship in so many ways.  We are a family now...a bizarre one at that, 
but a family that I don't want to give up.  "Live in the moment 
Sean...worry about the rest when the time comes."  Viggo's voice says in 
my head.   


Orli drops off hobbits as we go. When we arrive at my place Orli helps me 
grab the last few boxes of my things and we head out to my car.  Orli and 
Viggo had already been over to my place packing up my things and 
moving them to Viggo's the past week. 

I drive over to Viggo's with Orli following me and when we arrive we 
start taking the last of my things in.  God, it's good to be home...yes home. 
This is my home now...with Viggo.  I think it won't matter where I am, as 
long as Viggo's there it's home. 

I am jet lagged but too wired to sleep, so Orli and I sit on the couch talking 
until we hear Viggo drive up.  I don't think his feet ever touched the 
ground once. He got out of the car and practically flew in the door and 
launched himself into my arms.  I almost wasn't able to hold us both up.  I 
have never in my life been caught up in a whirlwind of kisses before now.  

Once our fervor dies down a bit Viggo clasps my head in each hand and 
says, "I missed you, Sean."

"I missed you too, love." I say smiling and he practically beams at me.  I 
see Orli slink out the door and mouth the words, "See you tomorrow." 

I smile at him and Viggo turns.  "Orli!" He calls.

"Yeah, Vig?" Orli says halfway out the door.

"Thanks, thanks for everything." Viggo says smiling at the young man.

"Don't mention it...I will try and keep the hobbits away tonight while you 
two get uh...reacquainted." He winks. 

We both laugh and he waves, as he practically skips down the steps to his 
car. He's as happy for us as we are I think. Viggo turns back to me and 
smiles. 

"So...are you too jet lagged to get-reacquainted?" He asks using the word 
Orli had.

I couldn't help but laugh. "What did you have in mind?" Before the 
question left my lips, however Viggo was attacking them again.  

God, how I had missed this, had missed him, had missed us.  It doesn't 
seem strange to me anymore. Viggo and I are a couple and we are going to 
announce it to the entire fellowship tomorrow night, but tonight it's just 
the two of us. Then all my thoughts leave when Viggo's hand squeezes my 
cock through my jeans. 

"Bedroom?" I manage to say between kisses and Viggo makes an 
affirmative grunt.  We start heading for the bedroom though neither of us 
are willing to let go of the other. We are bumping into furniture as we go 
but neither of us cares.

Once we arrive in the bedroom, we stop beside the bed.  Viggo is trying to 
unbutton my shirt at the same time I am trying to tug his off, while both of 
us are still kissing each other.  We aren't making much progress.  I back up 
a bit and hold up my hand. 


"Let's just get out of these damn things as fast as we can." I say 
unbuttoning my shirt the rest of the way and tossing it across the room.  
Viggo grins and does the same.  I am quite impressed at how fast his jeans 
go flying over my head onto the chair behind me. 

Soon we are both facing each other naked and grinning at each other like 
fools. I reach out and pull Viggo in for another kiss. His kisses are so 
arousing, amazing the way he kisses really. Always like it's the end of the 
world. Viggo kisses as though if he didn't kiss me he would disintegrate 
on the spot. Those kisses always make me a little bit weak in the knees. 

Then Viggo drops to his knees and smiles up at me with that wicked grin 
he has, oh God. I watch him intently as his tongue darts out and licks the 
head. My cock leaps at the touch and I moan loudly. Viggo grins at me, he 
loves to torture me, go slow and make me beg, but tonight he doesn't...he 
feels that same way I do.  It's been too fucking long for both of us.  A 
week and a half and we are both reduced to trembling, wanton, masses of 
nerves. I hate to think what it will be like when we have longer 
seperations. But I don't want to think about that now. 

I moan when he sucks me in deep; his tongue dancing around the head as 
his teeth lightly graze the vein on the sensitive underside.  I shudder from 
the intense feeling of it. Viggo begins setting a slow pace, lazy almost but 
it's making me tremble. I reach down and wrap my fingers in his hair, not 
to force or guide...just hold him. I am struggling not to thrust into his 
mouth, I want to let him do this to me, but it's getting harder and harder to 
hang on to any self control.  Viggo pulls back and I slide out of his mouth.  
I can't say anything when he looks up and says, "Fuck my mouth, Sean...I 
want you to." 

Fuck, how could I pass up an offer like that?  He pulls me in deep again 
and I begin thrusting forward slightly, I don't want to choke him but damn 
it feels so good.  His fingers dig into my hips and he coaxes me to go 
faster-and a bit deeper with each thrust.  I think my brains just went flying 
out of my head and into the next room because I can't think...just feel my 
blood thrumming through my veins and this incredible heat in my groin. 

"Viggo!" I cry out half moan half sob as I come shuddering and shaking.  

Viggo still has me in his mouth swallowing me down, and I am shaking so 
hard I can barely stay on my feet. He doesn't release me until I am 
completely spent and then he stands up in front of me, holding me close. 

"I've been wanting to do that all week." Viggo says smiling and then 
kissing me. 

"Mmmm. I been wanting you to do that to me all week." I say in a 
somewhat raspy voice. God, my brain is still floating around the house 
somewhere I think. 

"Bed." Viggo says softly and pushes me onto it. I almost laugh but then he 
is over me and attacks my lips. Any thought of laughter quickly goes 
away. 

I can taste myself in his kiss and it is already making me hard again.  Once 
we break the kiss I smile at him. 

"Seems I owe you a favor." I say grasping his hard cock in my hand.  
Viggo hisses and arches into my touch. 

"I want you to fuck me Sean...hard." Viggo whispers against my neck and 
incredibly my cock gets even harder.  He's going to be the death of me I 
swear...but what a way to go. 

He slides down and begins kissing my chest, teasing nipples and then I roll 
him under me. He smiles and kisses the tip of my nose nearly making me 
laugh. 

I reach over to the nightstand and grab the bottle of lube, and slick up my 
fingers and my cock. Slowly I press one finger against the tight muscle 
and glance up at Viggo. He's watching me and I can feel the love in his 
eyes.  I push in deeper and curl my finger slightly and his eyes flutter 
closed as he arches against me. I start to slide in another finger but Viggo's 
words stop me. 

"Sean, please...need YOU. NOW!" 

I love it when he begs, I really do. I pull my fingers out slowly and he 
sucks in a breath just before I position myself and begin pushing into him. 
Slowly, no matter how hard and fast he says he wants it, he can't possibly 
want this first part that way.  Viggo's legs wrap around me though and he 
pulls me forward with his heels on my arse in one fast motion.  Just like 
our first time together. Fuck, he really did want it fast. He shudders under 
me and I groan, trying to hold onto any control I might have. Oh God. 

"You ok?" I ask after a few seconds. 

"Yes...come on Sean...fuck me. Hard, please. I've missed you so much, 
want to feel you..." Viggo tells me. 

I begin thrusting into him a bit slowly at first, I need to get used to this for 
a bit or I am not going to last long, even a second time.  I love having him 
like this, skin-to-skin so I can see his face. Then after a few thrusts I find 
the right angle and begin pumping into him harder and faster. He's lost, 
moaning my name over and over and I can hear our bodies slapping 
together. The headboard sounds like some kind of wild drumline as it 
bounces against the wall. 

"God-oh, God-Sean!" Viggo nearly screams. 

I can't say anything. My mind is blown completely by the look in Viggo's 
eyes.  He's perfect, so beautiful, and mine. Yes, this incredible human is 
mine, my best friend and my lover! 

I can see the moment just before Viggo is going to come, I know that look, 
I love that look.  So untamed, like some kind of wild animal. I take his 
cock in my hand and stroke it in time with my thrusts.  I can feel his 
muscles tighten and I look right in his eyes as he comes. It's the most 
stunning sight every time, his body quivering and glistening with sweat. I 
thrust just a few more times and spill deep inside of him, as his muscles 
milk me of every drop before I shudder one last time. I lower myself over 
him and kiss his neck lightly before rolling off of him. 

I pull him close and Viggo kisses me tenderly. "I love you, Sean." 

I lay there for a moment and stare at him. It's the first time he's said it...I've 
known it for a long time, but this is the first time he's actually said it to 
me.  I haven't answered him yet though and he looks like he's starting to 
get a bit worried the daft sod. 

"Oh Viggo, I love you too, have loved you for a very long time." I say 
kissing him again.

He seems relieved. "Sorry I haven't said it before...I guess. Well, I guess 
that before you left I didn't feel we needed the words, you know. They are 
so cliché anymore, but I have missed you so much. So terribly, not just 
this...I mean the sex is breathtaking and I did miss that too, but I missed 
us...I missed you. Just sitting around talking and being what we've always 
been, and I knew I had to say it...I love you with all my heart." Viggo says 
kissing me very tenderly as if trying to demonstrate exactly how he feels 
with a kiss. 
 
I pull back from his kiss and look at him a moment and then smile. "I've 
known I loved you since that day we told Orli about us. I just never found 
the right time to actually say it I guess. I didn't actually expect to hear you 
say it first, even though I guess you being a poet and all I should have." 

Viggo laughed at that answer and shook his head. We fell asleep like that 
wrapped up in each others arms. Tomorrow we are going to tell everyone 
about us. Now those three little over used words-cliché as they are-have 
given me even more confidence for tomorrow. 

When I wake up I can hear Viggo in the shower. I lay there a few minutes 
longer and sit up. The headboard bangs against the wall and I almost 
laugh.  Going to have to fix that, though it made such an interesting 
rhythm last night. I grab my discarded boxers from the floor and throw 
them on, then start messing with the headboard. 

"Must be a screw loose." I mutter as I wiggle it a bit.  I hear Viggo's 
laughter behind me. 

"What?" I ask turning. He's wearing nothing but a towel and laughing at 
me while he rubs another one through his hair. 

"I hear you talking to yourself and the words I hear are "must be a screw 
loose" sorry it just cracked me up." Viggo says still grinning.

I laugh. "Yeah well, I was referring to the headboard. I need to fix it, was 
a bit distracting last night." 

Viggo laughs, "Could've fooled me." Before he goes back into the 
bathroom to brush his teeth. 

**********************

That afternoon Viggo and I are sitting in the kitchen. "Ok so everyone will 
be here around six.  Are you sure you're ready to do this tonight, Sean?" 
He asks. 

"Yes, I'm ready...are you?" I ask. 

"Yeah...besides folks are already wondering and those that aren't 
wondering are going to figure it out sooner or later. We can't hide forever 
and now that you've moved in people are really going to wonder, so we 
may as well get it out in the open." Viggo is rambling...he rambles when 
he's nervous. 

Incredibly I don't feel nervous.  Ian's been badgering me about this for 
months so I know he will be thrilled. Orli knows and has been very 
supportive of us both, Elijah suspects, and Dom and Billy are together so 
how could they mind...would sort of be like the pot calling the kettle 
black. 

It's going to be just the fellowship and Peter and Fran, so it shouldn't be 
too hard.  The rest of the cast can wait. 

--------------------------------------------------------------

At 5:45 Orli shows. He's early, wouldn't believe it if I hadn't read the clock 
myself.  "Thought I would get here early...make sure you had good moral 
support." He says hugging us both.

Viggo smiles at him and ruffles his hair. "Thanks, Prissy Elf."  

Orli laughs, "Watch it, Filthy Human." I chuckle at their little joke and 
offer Orli a glass of wine.  

The others begin arriving and by 6:15 the entire fellowship-plus Peter and 
Fran-are in our living room.

"Well we asked you all over to welcome Sean back, but also to tell you all 
something important." Viggo begins but then I can tell he's starting to 
loose it with all those eyes on him. 

"Yes...um well first of all I am living here with Viggo now." I add. 

Everyone nods and Ian looks at me with a knowing look.  Yes, you smug 
old bastard you were right. I feel like saying, but I don't. 

"Yeah, Sean's living here now, and um we are...we are..." Viggo says but 
gets a bit lost. 

I grab his hand and squeeze it in front of everyone and I see small smiles 
start to break out around the room. 

"We are a couple. Actually have been for quite a while now." I say lifting 
Viggo's hand to my lips and giving it a soft kiss. 

Elijah jumps up off the couch and throws his arms around us both. "I knew 
it! I fucking knew it! I am so happy for both of you!" 

We both let out relived sighs and hug the boy back...well one down. 

Ian laughs. "About time." I smile at him. 

"Wow, um that's great, I'm happy for you both!" Sean Astin says smiling 
and lifting his wine glass in a toast. 

"I second that." John says cheerfully. 

Dom and Billy grin at us and give us a thumbs up.  Orli just sits off to the 
side grinning from ear to ear. 

"You knew didn't you Orlando?" Peter asks after a few moments. 

"Yep...but I was sworn to secrecy." Orli answers. 

"Secrecy?" Ian asks. 

"My divorce." I answer and everyone nods knowingly. 

Fran stands up and comes over to Viggo and I...Viggo hasn't let my hand 
go yet. 

"Well I am thrilled for you both." She says hugging first Viggo and then 
me. Was a bit awkward though still having my hand in Viggo's, which he 
didn't seem ready to let go of yet. Fran didn't seem to mind though. 

Peter stands. "Yes, thrilled, really, but do try and keep this under 
wraps...the movie has enough strikes against it as it is." 

"We know." Viggo answers. "We kept it a secret this long, but we wanted 
to share it with our friends." 
******************************************
Late that night after everyone had gone, Viggo is sitting on the couch 
talking to Henry on the phone. I am taking the last few wine glasses to the 
kitchen. When I come back out Viggo is off the phone and grinning from 
ear to ear. 

"What?" I ask sitting down next to him on the couch. 

"Henry is coming down next week to visit...I want to tell him about us 
when he gets here...want to do it in person, ya know?" Viggo says still 
grinning. "But I did tell him I was in a relationship. He was excited for 
me." 

"Will it matter that I'm a man?" I ask a bit worried, not sure how my girls 
are going to take this news. 

"No, I don't think he'll care as long as I'm happy. Henry is a very open 
minded kid." Viggo explains.

"Sort of like his father." I answer and Viggo smiles.

"Well we have an early day tomorrow." I say stretching. 

"You just want to get me in bed." Viggo teases and I laugh. 

"Well yeah...actually rather just have you in me." I say wiggling my 
eyebrows and he laughs and leans in to kiss me. Just then the phone rings. 

"Shit." Viggo says just inches from my mouth. 

"Mmmm" I just grunt in agreement. 

Viggo grabs the phone. "Hello?---Oh hi Liv. Oh really? Well yeah...oh 
you want to talk to Sean? Okay." 

He hands me the phone. "It's Liv." 

I nod and take the phone. "Hello?" 

"Well hello there you home wreaker. Not only does Arwen have Éowyn to 
worry about but now Boromir too?" She asks barely concealing the 
laughter in her voice. 

"News certainly travels fast." I mutter into the phone and Viggo laughs 
beside me. 

"Well you take good care of each other ok? Goodnight, sweetie!" She says 
seriously and I smile. 

"We will certainly do that. Goodnight, Liv." I answer then hand the phone 
back to Viggo. 

"What was that all about?" Viggo asks. 

"You're Queen was a bit perturbed. Said she not only had to deal with 
Éowyn trying to steal you but now Boromir." I tell him trying not to laugh. 

Viggo shakes his head and chuckles. "Damn her, now we are never going 
to get through that council scene tomorrow." 

"Come on...we were just about to go to bed weren't we?" I ask standing 
and offering him my hand. 
************************************************
Two months later I am standing at the airport again. I hate this, I really, 
absolutely fucking hate this. I hate flying, but what I hate even more is 
leaving Viggo.  We are both going to go mad I think. I am coming back as 
soon as I get a chance in just over six weeks.  I also plan to be here for the 
wrap party which is still eight months away if Pete stay's on schedule. 
Then there are the premieres and all that, so Viggo and I will have plenty 
of chances to be together. I have done this before with relationships and 
even my marriages, had to be away from the person I love, but this is 
different.  I have never felt so attached to anyone before.  I guess it's 
because we were friends first and that is what we will always be first. 

Henry is coming down again next week, he will help cheer Viggo up 
some. The boy was incredibly open minded about us.  He said as long as 
his Dad was happy he didn't care who he was dating. I am telling my two 
oldest girls when I get back...hope they take it as well as Henry. 

Viggo's standing there looking like someone just ran over his dog. All I 
want to do is wrap my arms around him and hold him, but in the middle of 
an airport it's not the right course of action. Sure on set, at home, but in 
public, not everyone is as accepting as our friends. 

"Sean? Call me when you land, no matter what time it is ok? I won't be 
able to sleep until I hear from you anyway." Viggo says sadly.

"I know, love. I will." I try to say more but my voice breaks. He hears it 
and I can see the tears in his eyes. 

"Six weeks." I say softly.

"Six weeks." He repeats then tugs me into an all too quick and friendly 
'public' hug. 


----------------------------

Two and a half years later. 

Here I am again standing in an airport this time in Los Angeles waiting on 
my luggage so I can make my way home. Viggo is still in Montana but 
will be on his way home soon.  I spot my bags and make to grab them but 
my cell phone rings. 

"Fuck." I silently debate, grab the luggage or wait for it to make another 
pass? I look at the number on my cell and decide to let the luggage wait.

"Viggo?" I answer. 

"Sean...I'm going crazy up here." Viggo gushes into the phone. 

"What is it, love?" I ask worried about the tone of his voice. 

"I lost my fucking wallet, there is a reporter here, Henry is here, and shit 
Sean, I lost my fucking wallet." Viggo says in a rush.

"Calm down." I tell him. "Where did you have it last?" I ask.

"Sean...I'm not asking you to help me retrace my steps...where are you 
anyway?" Viggo asks. 

"I'm at the airport, baggage claim actually, was about to head to the 
house." I answer. 

"Oh, good. I might be late, I don't think I can fly without my drivers 
license." Viggo answers.

"Nope, not these days...but you also shouldn't be driving either isn't that 
illegal?" I ask.

"Don't remind me." Viggo laughs. "I will be VERY careful. Last thing I 
need is to get hauled in for no license with a reporter and Henry with me!" 

"Poor baby." I say laughing.

"Oh you're going to pay for that one." Viggo says laughing.

"I hope so." I tease back. 

"Love you, Sean." Viggo says softly. He always says that with such 
feeling...it's never like it was with my ex-wives.  Those words always just 
seemed to be the way to end a phone conversation but for Viggo he means 
it...and so do I. 

"I love you too...be careful. Say Hi to Henry for me." I say before we say 
our goodbyes. Viggo never ceases to amaze me how often he looses 
things.  His wallet is probably in his last pair of jeans he wore, but hadn't 
washed yet. I bet instead he's searching his luggage but hasn't checked his 
jeans he wore yesterday. 

I collect my bags and head out to my car.  Once in my car I am headed 
back toward our house when my cell rings again. It's Viggo. 

"They were in the jeans you wore yesterday." I say before he can say 
anything.

"Shit. Yeah. You know me too well." Viggo answers laughing.

"See you tomorrow then?" I ask laughing. 

"Yeah see you then, love you." He says still laughing. I can tell he misses 
me.  He usually doesn't call me twice in thirty minutes time. 

"Love you too, be careful." I repeat.  He has a long drive back before he 
catches his flight.  I worry about him far more than I should probably. The 
crazy bugger. 

I can't believe we have been together for just over three years now. Just 
doesn't seem real. We have had a few ups and downs, but it seems our 
relationship has just grown stronger because of them. 

I almost fucked things up royally last year when I got pissed about some 
photos of Viggo and Karl, but that was just my being insecure.  Karl, as 
well as Viggo assured me absolutely nothing happened, that those were 
just photos, the photographer's idea actually.  I felt like a complete idiot 
for a few weeks after that, but Viggo wouldn't let me dwell on it. He 
wouldn't let me push him away like I did all my wives. 

The toughest part is being apart for work. It drives us both crazy. The odd 
thing is I've had an easier time with this relationship than any I've ever 
had. Even when we fight, which we do, we bicker like a couple of old 
maids sometimes but it doesn't break us. Maybe it's because we were 
friends first. Because we understand each other so well, or maybe it's the 
whole distance makes the heart grow fonder thing when we are apart...or 
this is it...he's my soul mate. I think I like that last part better. Then again I 
am turning into a daft romantic sod too, so is Viggo for that matter. He 
said once he gave up writing love poetry because people think he's nuts-he 
hasn't it just doesn't get published. It's only for me. 

Thinking about his poetry reminds me of something as I drive.  Six 
months ago I complained that I missed my garden in London.  We still 
have the house in London, his place in Idaho and his place in L.A..  We 
were at the house here in L.A. when I was standing at the back door 
looking into the yard.  Viggo came up behind me offering a cup of tea as 
he wrapped his arms around me.  

"Whatcha thinking about?" He asked nuzzling my neck. 

"The yard...I miss my garden sometimes." I said softly, enjoying the feel 
of him against my back and the warm cup in my hand. It was a cold, rainy 
day for L.A. and reminded me of London. 

"Do you want to go back to London?" He asked. I could hear the worry in 
his voice.

"No, I don't want to go back, not without you anyway. I didn't mean it like 
that. I just miss working in it. Kinda like when you miss the ranch." I 
explained. 

"I see." He said and then kissed my neck.  

Little did I know my little wish was going to come true.  I had to leave for 
a few weeks on a press junket and when I came back Viggo led me 
straight to the back yard.  I stood there stunned. He had no clue what he 
had planted, but it was beautiful.  He'd gotten a lady who owns a nursery 
to come in and help him design it. He had asked her for an English garden 
so she picked the plants but Viggo did all the work himself.  I actually 
cried, couldn't fucking believe it, no one had ever done anything like that 
for me before. He could care less about gardening, but he did it for me. 

I remember asking him. "Why?" and he smiled and said, "Because I love 
you." 

That's what did it, that's when I lost it and cried like a fucking baby. No 
one had ever loved me enough to do something like that.  Then that's who 
Viggo is, he throws his passion, his love of life into everything he does, 
his art, his poetry, his acting, and now me. I feel so privileged just to be 
near him sometimes. 

I can't help but smile at the memory as I pull into our drive way and park 
the car.  As I go in the house I flip on the lights and there is a note taped 
inside the door. Viggo must of put it there before he left. 

"Since I can't be there to welcome you home, I found this in my journal. I 
wrote it the day after we first told each other that we loved one another.  

At first I thought it was a dream. The reason your touch is like coming 
home, the way your kiss is sweeter than the finest wine. I thought it was a 
dream, the way we fell into easy friendship and then in love. Now I know 
this is no dream. I know now kindred spirits, soul mates are real, not just 
poetic devices. There is no turning back for us now. 

Thought you would like to know what I was thinking that next day.  You 
realize you're stuck with me, right? Love, Viggo." 

Daft bugger...Viggo never fails to surprise me, and here I am all alone in 
an empty house missing him even more than before. I feel like I am going 
to fucking cry again or at the very least if I don't see him in the next 
twenty-four hours I am going to go mad.  He's turned me into a weepy, 
romantic sod, that misses him even when we are across town from each 
other, let alone other states or countries. But I love him for it and always 
will. 

Like he said, soul mates. I like the sound of that...and I knew that night in 
his living room in New Zealand when he took my hand there was no 
turning back. Glad he caught on to that. 

The End.
------------------------------
Special thanks to Fin, Kira, Anita, Ebeth, and Anestel for their 
encouragement to keep going with this story. Sorry it took me 4 months!